*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/1starsong/sort_by/r.review_creation_time+DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time+DESC/page/10
Review Requests: OFF
6,478 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 6 7 8 9 -10- 11 12 13 14 15 ... Next
226
226
Review of Gutshot  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR*HI Mastiff! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

Wow! Your title was direct and grabbed my attention. The word shouted out into empty space and seemed in my mind to echo the shot! *Think*LOL

This is an effective flash piece as you drew me in quickly to the setting and action. The character had a interesting name though, at first I had to read it again as I thought it odd to not say the stump, until I saw the verb. LOL

The last part of line two was awkward to read: "for deer, for weeks" I wonder if it would be more effective to have the time line at the start of the line. *Wink*

The shock of a shot from nowhere was a good sudden action. I think a period after "backwards" would give pause and potency to the next line. Both lines are complete in themselves anyway.

The line beginning "on his back" is not a complete sentence and threw me out of the read a bit. *Think* Maybe something like, "On his back, bleeding, he stared..."

I can imagine his thoughts as he lay there..and maybe knowing he would never know. I would put his exact inner thoughts in italics for clarity. I like how he is confused about sirens or wind. The last line was a surprise. Good one.*Thumbsup*

I felt bad for the guy and am left also curious as to the reason for the shot. At first I thought his gun went off and he fell from the spot. Yet his later thoughts made me wonder. Cool!

It is a challenge to write full episodes in so few words. I appreciate your creation. *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers
227
227
Review of YOU  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR*HI Cissy! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Heart*Your title suggested the topic in a direct way and I think it is effective for a love poem. I enjoyed reading the rhyming couplets aloud and they are the perfect form for the romantic theme. The rhyme was consistent though I notice the syllable rhythm is not even in each couplet.

*Heartv* I really hear the gratitude in the voice and the detail of what your man means to you makes a clear picture. The idea that he won't even leave for wealth well illustrates his love. Good choice of example.

*Quill*One glitch through me out a bit:
The first verse begins with "As" and yet has nothing to complete the phrase. I wonder if you dropped the word "and" in the first line, it would sound more like a complete thought when read aloud. IT would flow better too.
*Quill*Some minor notices:
In verse three, I wanted to drop the "to" after "try" as it feels redundant. Also drop the comma.

I see you began with capital letters on the first verses and then dropped them in the others. I think consistency in punctuation would work better. *Wink*

*Star* This is a lovely tribute to your relationship and how you are receiving it as a gift. Your faith and love shines through your wonderful weave. How blessed you are indeed.

Thanks for sharing your vision. Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers
228
228
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Jatog the Green! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Delight* Wow! I am so impressed with this creation with its fine form and specific detail about the subject of skin! What an intriguing topic for a poem and your genius thinking is apparent. Well done.

*Tornado*The title suggests humour and ironic as the poem is not "skinny" on detail and fact. The tone has a lightness too it as it examines the aspsects of skin and its care. The vocabulary is well chosen and themeatic and I like the variety...words like "hirsute" and integuement" give it a scientific vibe and I had to look them up. lol. Awesome when I can learn something. Your observation and knowledge on skin is well illustrated in the facts you weave into the commentary. *Thumbsup*

*Star* The descriptive language is vivid and the verses flow coherently. It flowed rhythmically and was pleasant to read aloud. You did a fabulous job on the rhyme scheme, I think it is challenge with a long poem. The images of the "snare", "The battlefield" and "itch warefare" are brilliant and paint a clear picture in my mind.

*Smile*The structure was effective and punctuation served the read, adding to the drama as well. The voice was strong and consistent and key opinions were pursuasive. *Laugh* I had such fun entering the vision!

Thanks for sharing your wonderful craft and eloquence.
Keep writing on!*Star*

eyestar
new signature for WDC Superpower Reviewers

229
229
Review of She Said Yes  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**Heart*Happy Valentine's Day! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

*Heart* Good message to celebrate Valentine's day and your title suggests a happy outcome!
The poem has a romantic air and the picture you paint of the nuervous man's proposal. Her response was so sweet too. *Heart**Smile* The free style verses were pleasant to read aloud.

I assume the bold words are part of a prompt and wow, you used them in an interesting manner. I like what you did with "brandished"! I like old rings and have one of my great grandmother's. The image of a lamp in the window is vivid too.

The punctuation was helpful and I wondered about having a period after "ring" as the next line can stand on its own.*Wink*

I enjoyed entering into this charming vision and could feel the anticipation and happy conclusion. It has an old fashioned feel to it with the names and the action of the couple. Well conceived peice. Thanks for sharing your crafting! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
Heart and Mind Raid


230
230
Review of Oedipus Rants  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**Heartv*Happy Valentine's Day! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

Wow! This free verse is an amazing composition! I was drawn to the title with its mythical reference and was not disappointed. You capture the mind of this "son" brilliantly, revealing his feeling of being so attached to his mother's power. I can really feel his agony.

Your images and comparisons are so vivid with well chosen vocabulary that brings vitality and realism to how he feels. So impressive. Your use of assonance and consonance and bits of alliteration are effective so that the piece is pleasing to read. The language feels old fashioned too, reflecting the Oepdipus theme. I loved "matriarchal blade" and "ancient ancestors" and "nutshell of anger" and "edges dogeared" and ears as viaducts! So many neat metaphors. *Delight* The tight weave on the page without a break imitates the compressed mind and feeling of repression. Well conceived creation.*Salute*

I wondered if you need the word "a" with saber in "like I was saber". *Think*

I so appreciate this word wizardry with its potent vibe and imagery. I felt for this poor guy!
Fabulous and original! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
Heart and Mind Raid

231
231
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Elby! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

The title was appealing to me as we used to raise chickens and my brother and his family have chickens of various kinds. So it was fun to see your theme. *Chicken*

*Delight*I loved your wonderful poem with its lyrical flow and effective rhyme. It flowed smoothly and the refrain gave emphasis to the importance of the job. I get it! You capture the picture of how the job effects night life vividly. The job of shutting the gate and hutch is shown to be important. And it is true the chickens have set times. One has to be ware of foxes and egg gathering too.

I felt for the poet early to bed and early to rise when he wanted to enjoy summer fun! I was releived when the short time period was revealed. The sentiment of friendship and your appreciation for the landlords and...er the chickens too. *Thumbsup*

*Chicken*The verses were balanced and It was pleasing to read aloud. It seemed like a song with its good use of assonance and consonance and rhyme. I liked the variety of phrasing lengths within the the verses. *Smile*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your vision and crafting. It was quite humorous.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
WDC Power Personal Star sig
232
232
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*Hey Jeff! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*


*Giftr* I am back again enjoying your poetic gifts and found a great laugh in your limerick.*Shamrock*The way you got to use the word "canoe" as a way of delivery is brilliant and funny, though I know canoeing can have slowups in travelling. LOL One could canoe down the Amazon. Awesome. The rhyming is excellent and fun too.

The form is well composed and you did a good job with consonance with the repeated 't'! I liked reading it aloud. Cute play on Amazon and Timbuktu was brilliant too.

I had fun entering your vivid vision! *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
WDC Power Personal Star sig
233
233
Review of Acrosswordtics  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP* Happy Wishes Jeff! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*


*Delight* I could not resist the unique title and I love Acrostics. It is a great play on words and I could appreciate the full meaning on reading your poems! *Thumbsup*

*Shock2* These acrostics are amazing and totally capture the essence of doing crosswords and highlight the famous New York Times puzzle. Amazing that so many people do them. My mom used to do crossword puzzles all the time in the Canadian papers. She knew an amazing amount of words in her time.

*Delight* The first crossword uses wonderful hard sounding "structural" kind of words to reflect the creation of the puzzle. I enjoyed the soundscape when I read aloud.

*Smile* The second one was fun and intellectual in vibe. Words like "Nomenclature", "zenith", and "Lexicon" sound Timesy! Great job using two Z's as key letters and finding words that work here.

*Bigsmile*You did a super job with the interesting long phrase in the last poem. It is a lot of letters for the theme. I really got the vibe of how challenging these puzzles can be from your descriptions especially the examples of the answers to find! Wow! Adding clues that had empty lines shows a way clues are given as well.

*Thumbsup* I enjoyed your use of alliteration and consonance here and I would love to be able to use the word "Hitherto" in a poem and make sense. and "Gamifying'? Awesome! LOL I like the line with "Is artfully.." great mouthful!

*Star* This is brilliant word wizardry and I had fun! Thanks for sharing your gift.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
WDC Power Personal Star sig
234
234
Review of Impostor  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*Hey Jeff! Happy Anniversary wishes.*Wand* I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*


*Delight*I was drawn to the title as it made me curious! In this short form you capture the query that fits the title. It is interesting theme that contrasts the delight of a secret valentine and the darker notion of imposter. I thought of stalker. *Smile* Evocative.

The form is well composed with its three line and syllable count. Using questions leads the reader to consider a larger picture. The poem is an effective response to the prompt about mistaken identity. I appreciate the effort it took to create such a vivid vision in few words. *Star*

Thanks for sharing your gift and craft! And for all the wonderful contributions you have made at WDC during your long time here. *Salute*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
WDC Power Personal Star sig
235
235
Review of Cloudburst  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight**Rain* Happy February Ken! It is lovely to enter your vision of rain that reminds me of warmer weather. We are in the freeze up here! LOL


*Rain*Your title is effective and makes me think of a vibrant energy surprise! It is perfect for your reflective and detailed observations of rain. The last line image is a brilliant
simile. I love it!

*Rain*Your free verse was a good choice for the variety of images and notions about rain. The descriptions are vivid and I appreciated such words as "argent", "velvet" and "flashes". The first image is so appealing and suggests nurture. The first verses flow well and the later verses are longer, more explanatory.

*Rain* In verse 6 I found the third-fifth lines abit unweildy and you use the less descriptive word "awesome" twice in the poem. Maybe something simpler like "or remind us of the strength of nature". In the second last verse you used three ly adverbs...maybe something more vivid could increase potency of your idea.*Wink*

*Rain*I want to read the word "revealed" at the end of line 2 in the last verse but I see you wanted to rhyme. So the word "a" before "meaning" might make it flow better. Just my view. LOL

*Rain* Effective use of assonance and consonance added to the dynamic flow and soundscape. The first four verses and the last were my favourites for flow. Rhyming with "coalesce" was cool!

Thanks for sharing this thoughtful vision of rain and its effect on nature and us! *Star*

eyestar
redone anniversary version without number!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
236
236
Review of Dear Me 2019  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Delight*Happy February Azrael! I am happy to review your item in "I Write in 2019"! It is wonderful that you joined in the DEAR ME site contest! *Thumbsup*

I enjoyed you opening lines as I could relate to talking to yourself and had to laugh! I was not sure what the n(you) meant. *Wink* Your second paragraph was brilliant in imagery and vibration. What a wondeful way to describe success and the line about "doomed to drown" was priceless. I loved it!

Your summary of the downside of the year is hearfelt and I appreciate how you keep a lighter tone about it. I am glad you made it through!

I appreciate your metaphors and comparisons like "resettling is a migraine"! LOL I think you need a period after that word as the part of the line seems to be a complete thought on its own.

Your style and humour is so appealing here as you speak to yourself. You do have a positive outlook while you take a few potshots at yourself. I think it is cool to want to get Grandma's stories! Great use of the reference to Charon, and zombies! I had to laugh about the blog! The last line is perfect and your closing is so true. Hope it is a good thing to be stuck with you.*Laugh*

I really had a good time reading this letter. You have a wonderful sense of humour and I am sure that keeps you going in the tough times. May this year be all you wish for and more. *Wand*

Looking forward to more of your awesome poems and stories. You have a gift. *Starstruck*
See you on the POWER review pages too!
eyestar
for WDC Superpower  Reviewers group
237
237
Review of Tree Carvings  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*Hi again! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*
Like I said I found your poetry and well..I am a tree hugger and could not resist this title! *Heart*

*Tree*I entered into your elegant description with ease. The first image in the first line grabbed me and I was enchanted by your detailed account of the scene. The notion of the memory that lasts in the carving is wonderful and you made it interesting as it was a boy and an elder who did it.*Smile*

*Apple**Tree* The personification of the tree and what it symbolizes is portrayed clearly in the second verse. I enjoyed the tone and voice of the poet's narration and the observation of the painting really captured the poet's muse! Magical!

*Star*I like your reflection on the power of trees, this elderly one in particular. The love and appreciation shines through. *Heart*

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! *Delight*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
WDC Power Personal Star sig

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
238
238
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Lisa! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

Wow! This is an amazing expression. You capture the images of the world and what is required so vividly. Your observations are acute. *Salute* It is a very inspiring call to do our part to create a better world. The line of wisdom at the end sums it up perfectly.

It was a delight to read aloud these coherent verses and you did a fabulous job with the rhyme scheme. Only the first verse lacks the pattern but it is an introduction. *Smile* The comparison about the earth is striking and that we are creating our destiny here is a good point.

This really speaks to people as inspirational wake up call! If only we will hear and Love. *Heart* Thank you for sharing your true to life vision to spread awareness.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
WDC Power Personal Star sig

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

239
239
Review of Bird Games  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*Happy Anniversary month Lisa! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

I was scouting your port and found your folder on your form poetry attempts. It is wonderful that you take on new creations. The title got my attention as I could imagine what kind of games birds might play. Sounded fun and reflects a comical theme.

Your limerick is fun and well composed. You used the typical 9,9.6,6,9. line counts with proper rhyme scheme and a funny turining point at the end! I think line one is 10 syllables and line 5 is 8, though. *Wink* It did not spoil the fun and essence of the form.

I find writing these a challenge especially the funny part. You did a great job. Thinking of a kitten with a flamingo is hilarious image. Maybe put capital letter on Mingo. Cute name!

"lets" needs an apostrophe and periods after Mingo and flamingo I think.

I had fun playing in this vision! *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
WDC Power Personal Star sig

"WDC Power "Out of this World " Raffle

240
240
Review of Nine  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*Happy WDC Birthday, Lifelessons! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

The title is simple and suits the theme, making me curious as to what nine would mean to you. I like the cool aspects of nine that you reveal. Adding the mystical 9 as completion is neat and I like the angel choruses! You have done some research.*Smile*

The style suits the unique theme and the added rhyme adds to the flow and read.

I think you need a question mark after "so much" as it is a rhetorical query.
"amazing seeing such a gift" is a bit awkward to read.*Wink*
Should "that are" be "who are" in line 11...because strangers are people?

The tone of reflection is clear and I enjoyed pondering on the topic. *Smile*
Thanks for sharing your vision of nine.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
WDC Power Personal Star sig

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

241
241
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI bear! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

Wow! I enjoyed entering this magical vision based on your experience with dolphins. It is truly moving. The setting and mood of the poet was so vivid and real. I loved it!

The poem verses are balanced in four lines with abcb rhyme scheme though "minutes" and "swimming" is a bit off to me. It does have the short i sound. "sensed" and "bench" was closer. *Wink*
The rhythm is more free style than even and verse 6 had longer lines than the rest. It could use a bit of tightening up in flow, yet reading and pondering on the event was a pleasant one. Good use of some sound devices and imagery. *Thumbsup*

I noticed a few punctuation glitches to me:

Verse 2, line needs a comma instead of a period as it ties to the next line.
In Verse 5 you need to drop the period after "know" as the next line completes the thought.
The rhyme here is off as well, though again the assonance works.
Verse 9 you need a comma instead of period after "tale".

I like the idea of the compassionate sensing nature of the dolphin and how the heart and soul can be received and soothed by nature and it's creatures. We really are never alone. *Heart* Thanks for sharing your reflective experience. What a vibrant memory to have. *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
WDC Power Personal Star sig

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group
242
242
for entry "from the tree
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fairy**Tree* Hi Lisa! I am here with a review for you as part of your surprise package in our January Power Raid! *Delight*

I love trees and poetry so when I found this collection (congrats on the Quill nomination) I could not resist jumping in. *Wink* I had not heard of this Ronka form so thanks for the note about it. I wonder if putting the author's note at the bottom of the page would allow for your wonderful poem to get the attention first! *Smile*

I enjoyed the image in this short poem and the philosphical tone at the start. I can relate to that as I can sit in my living room and look out at the woods, where deer come and birds and squirrels flit around. It feels like home and nature is one place that accepts us for who we are too. Relaxing.*Heart*

It is a good read. I only glitched as I think a comma after the first line, and the word "tree" would help with the flow as those lines naturally connect to the next ones in full concepts. *Wink*

I like the idea of a platform perch in a tree for observing nature. One often hears of these for hunting purposes.

The ronka is well composed in form and conception. Lovely vision to enter. Thanks for sharing your craft and love of nature. I am inspired to try one of these. *Star*

Keep on writing on!

eyestar
A  birthday gift

243
243
Review of Candle  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)


*Delight* Hi Super Power Hero Sum1! I am happy to celebrate you in our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group raid


*Heart*Wow!This is a spectacular shape poem and it really resembles a candle. *Candleo* I appreciate the effort it took to create it. I have tried to do these without much success. *Smile*

*Candleb*The poem is a delight to read with its inner rhyme and use of assonance and consonance added to a cohesive soundscape. The personification is excellent and I like the way you weave in the elements of candle life. *Laugh* Punctuation assisted the read

*Candleb*It has a happy tone and made me smile. Thanks for sharing this inventive creation and charming vision of a candle. *Star* Brilliant construction.

eyestar
Thanks for being a dedicated Super Power Hero. Happy 2019! *Salute*

Celebrating You!
244
244
Review of Summer Storm  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

*Delight* Hi Super Power Hero Dave! I am happy to celebrate you in our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group raid.


*Heart*I enjoyed reading this delightful poem and liked the idea of the storm bringing something to write. *Smile* That the poet has fright until the writing shows up is interesting idea too.

*Balloong*The quadrilew form is fun to read and you have created a fine model according to your link to the form elements. Both rhyme and syllable count are on track. It is an interesting form in that the third verse does not use the "ashes" rhyme like the others.

*Balloono*The imagery of storm and its relation to the mind is effective and the vocabulary is thematic with good use of consonance and the long 'i' sound. Personification of "shrouds" and "depression" is effective to show the power of the elements over the mind. *Thumbsup*

*Balloonr*An appealing read and vivid vision of a dark time with depression and suggestion that writing can help lighten up the mood. Thanks for sharing your craft. I imagine it took a while to dream this up and get it right! *Starstruck*


eyestar
Thanks for being a dedicated Super Power Hero. Happy 2019! *Salute*

Celebrating You!
245
245
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Lisa! I am happy to review to celebrate you as part of our Celebration Raid! *Star*


*Heartv*Oh wow! This poem is so romantic and lovely! I can really feel the message of love and tribute to your partner from your inspiring poetic vision. He sounds like a Prince Charming. *Smile*

*Heart*It was pleasant to read aloud with its easy flow and rhyme scheme. I loved the nature images and comparisons. My favourite is the first verse where you liken him to the flowers and elements. Wonderful images.

*Quill* OOPs. I see a little typo in "shinning"! *Wink* (shining) Also the first line in that verse seems odd with "no matter come what may". Maybe it is poetic liscence turn of phrase. *Wink* I wonder in line 2 of that verse, do you mean "night" or "Knight"...just checking as either could work. I am not sure how a "night" shines. *Think*

*Heartp* I like the positive vision of partnership that is conveyed here and feel the gratitude of the poet for the gift. A wonderful weave with a gentle tone and romantic flair. Thanks for sharing your *Heart*! Shine on as you write with elegance.

Thanks for you being a dedicated Super Power hero. *Starstruck*
eyestar
Celebrating You!
246
246
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

*Delight* Hi Super Power Hero Sonali! I am happy to celebrate you in our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group raid


*Heart*Wow! This poetic expression emanates a strong vibration and I could sense the emotion of the poet in the observations about the state of life in the land. I like the repetitive word "where" in each line in the free verse poem as it reads like a litany. The comparsions are vivid and the tone had a sad, regretful vibe. At its end I see it is like a prayer. *Cool*

*Balloong*I loved the image conveyed by "cavernous fiefdom" and it really sums up your point of view brilliantly. I really enjoyed reading this verse aloud for its pleasing flow and descriptions. The writing is coherent and I like your style. It is a sad commentary as to where people's treasures seem to be. Wow!

*Balloonr*I think we can all relate to the theme as we all have visions in our countries of things gone out of whack! That there are those of us and YOU who are aware, and willing to ask and stand for greater consciousness is a worthy contribution. Thanks for sharing your heart so eloquently. *Star*

eyestar
Thanks for being a dedicated Super Power Hero. Happy 2019! *Salute*

Celebrating You!
247
247
Review of Slow and Steady  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* Congratulations Lovina on winning our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group package in "Season Tickets! I am so happy to review to celebrate you! *Delight* Here is one of your 10 reviews.


*Turtle1*This is a wonderfully wise message that inspires one to keep on going when it is tough as success in on the other side of what looks impossible. The title made me think of the fable of the tortoise and the hare! *Smile* Really good choice to hook me in.

*Turtle2* The free style and centering suits the theme and the vocabulary is well chosen. Solid sounding words like "conquored" and "hurdle" reflect the idea of a block. I liked the consonsance and assonance useage that makes it good to read aloud.

*Turtle1*I like how you talk directly to "you" in "stop you" and wonder if "believe in yourself" rather than "oneself" might keep it more consistent. Also, maybe add a more active line "requiring you to put forth more effort" as opposed to the passive language you have used there.*Wink* Just something that occurred to me.

*Turtle2* I see you are using periods for emphasis maybe, yet in some cases I felt it stopped the flow of meaning. eg line 5 really does connect with the three lines above, so would not commas be more natural in those lines so that line 5 does not hang by itself? *Think*

*Starstruck* I like the way you reinforce the notion of persistance and make the expression have a feeling of pushing through obstacles until the uplifting ending. It gives hope and inspiration and possibility. Much needed in this world! *Angel*

Thanks for sharing. Light on the path as you write on!

for WDC Superpower  Reviewers group


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
248
248
Review of Ponderings  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Star* Congratulations Lovina on winning our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group package in "Season Tickets! I am so happy to review to celebrate you! *Delight* Here is one of your 10 reviews.


*Alien*I had fun imagining this little alien stewing and trying to understand humans...like does he help them? Like them? Are they worth visiting or contacting? You capture the human dichotomies clearly in the way the alien observes the contrarieness of the race, the polarity and the luke warm fence sitters and occasional heroes. *Thumbsup* I could hear in my mind the alien's confusion and frustration in the way you share his thoughts clearly.

*Alieng*The free style suits the expression and theme and allowed the alien mind to roam. Beginning with a question drew me in and repeating at the end was effective and served to encapsule the sililoquy. The contrast of an objective, logical alien voice with the emotional, seemingly irrational human heart is a potent image.

*Aliengr*In a few places I was a bit thrown off. Perhaps a bit of tweaking is required.
*Quill* "not even put upon your enemy" was awkward to read and in meaning.

*Quill* "On the other hand is good Angels... I think should be "are good..."
"in but human form" also threw me off.

*Quill* "But ....not bad enough" I might clarify: But, if this polarity is not bad enough...there are those in the middle." This part was a bit awkward to flow.

I think that some natural punctuation would help with the read and make it more potent as it would lead us to pause and consider his opinions with ease. Just an idea as I know puctuation is a choice. *Wink*

*Alieng*I liked the flow of "Those that only see themselves....lines 13-21 especially. Quite a clear picture of general collective.

*Starstruck* Thanks for creating this imaginative speech. It is original in point of view and a telling tale of how we can be as humans.

Light on the path as you write on!

for WDC Superpower  Reviewers group


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
249
249
Review of Busy, Busy  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Congratulations Lovina on winning our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group package in "Season Tickets! I am so happy to review to celebrate you! *Delight* Here is another one of your 10 reviews.


*Xmastree*The title flows quick and reflects the theme of constant movement and the metaphor of the bee really works! I enjoyed the idea of "feeling like a bee" at the end as you build up to the more personal effect of being "busy".

*Bee* The structure is appealing and well composed with a couplet between each quatrain. It made it feel like a refrain in that you do repeat the idea of time and busy in different ways. Great way to emphasize your main message. The adverbs with "ly" in each couplet is really effective for flow and reinforcing the idea of ongoing movement..like the wings fluttering. *Thumbsup* The simile works well.

*Bee*It was fun to read aloud with its steady movement and rhyme scheme. You used interesting words that fit your theme and create a wonderful soundscape. The imagery is so clear. I like the notions of "possessed" and "devotion", to "motion". *Wink*

*Bee*I did not notice a steady pattern of syllables in each line but it did not detract from my read or the message. Talk about a hyper bee! *Shock2*

*Starstruck*This really strikes a chord and hurries the mind along! One hopes not to burn out! I think the message is something we can relate to and you keep it general so we can imagine our own specific "business"! *Laugh*
Thanks for sharing your vision and craft.

Light on the path as you write on!

for WDC Superpower  Reviewers group
250
250
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Star* Congratulations Lovina on winning our "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group package in "Season Tickets! I am so happy to review to celebrate you! *Delight* Here is one of your 10 reviews.


*Pig*YUMMY! What a delightful picture of a Christmas eve dinner you have created. We have a family tradition of having tortieres and ham on Christmas eve (as some in the family don't like meat pie!) The one who does like like turkey gets leftover ham on Christmas day dinner. *Laugh*

*Chicken*The recipe for the stew looks easy and using the slow cooker would be time saving to allow for time for other things of importance during the day. Very convenient. The house would smell nice too as it cooked.

*Pot* The poem is fun to read and the use of emoticons added coulour and to the story telling in a visual way. I wondered if you needed to put two glyphs for plural carrots to make sense. *Wink* Also I wanted to read the word "of" after "a tad". *Think*

*Garlic* The verses are balanced and flow in a quick pace, reflecting the vibe of the day! It was easy to enter into the vision and bustle of preparation. *Thumbsup*

*Carrot* I like how you used rhyme in the second and fifth line of each verse, though I notice a few off rhymes. *Wink* I really liked "preserved" and "served". I often save broth from a chicken in the freezer for soups later! *Smile*

*Cabbage* Awesome job on the 5 syllable count per line even with the emoticons! Hard to do! As I said about adding the word "of" in line 3 of that verse.... I guess would throw of the count. (still a tad onion, sounds wierd. I do like the quick pace and rhyem of "Add a tad") You could just say "Add a chopped *Onion*" for count and grammar. LOL or not!

*Starstruck*Your creation is imaginative and fun, fulfills the prompt and gives us a wonderful addition to a recipe collection! Thanks for sharing your gift and vision.

Light on the path as you write on!

for WDC Superpower  Reviewers group


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
2,771 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 111 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/1starsong/sort_by/r.review_creation_time+DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time+DESC/page/10