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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC clementkelsey ! *Smile*

*Baseball* Wow! This article was amazing and a delight to read. It was well written and coherent and I enjoyed how you wove your early experience into a life lesson for the future. It is often the case but at times we do not see the depth til years later. The connection between that and the hoped for military life is a wonderful example for your theme.*Thumbsup*

I could visualize the game and the attitude of the senior whose heart was really not in the game. The wisdom that eventually came was solid. To see that it is about team and integrity is a valueable realization and one we need to embrace in the world today.

You make your case with details and a logical rationale that supports your opinion effectively. I think it is a convincing peice with a heart-felt tone and an inspiring vision for you and others.

I admire your honesty and sharing that can be a contribution to others. *Starstruck* Keep on writing and being the star you are!

eyestar
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Review of Couch Potato  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flowerv* Happy Poetry Month Fyn! *Delight*

What an interesting prompt poem! The theme of couch potato is revealed vividly as is the annoyance of the poet. *Laugh* I had to laugh at the way you describe the one on the couch watching sports.
The ending was a rational solution, if it works. LOL

The poem form was well composed following the author's notes you gave. I admire your successful effort with this challenge. I like the contrast of the poet 'viewing" him and then waking up to the 'viewer' he becomes. The words "I see!" suggest an emotional response...to him and an awareness of the solution.

I wondered about the tenses in line 3--turned and turn and maybe a synonym to replace one of these for variety.*Wink*

The way you wove those prompt words was imaginative and comical, giving a whole new vision of what a couch potato could look like. Good job!

Thanks for sharing this entertaining vision! *Star* I am sure we can relate to the event!

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Flowerv* Happy Poetry Month Joy! This little marvel popped up on the read and review page..what a find!! *Bigsmile*

This list of concrete nouns is extensive and a grand unique idea it was to post it! I am sure it is helpful to you but I can see how it can be a quick reference for others. The organization under sub headings is useful and oh boy, can I see a prompt coming on for The Daily Poem Contest! LOL My first one is for tomorrow. Lucky I found this as it inspired me. I like the variety of words. I have never heard of a balalaika or a radiosonde! LOL The list of clothing is extensive and handy. Wow! I like the short list under Other things. *Laugh*

The definition of concrete and abstract noun is convenient too as there may be some who are unsure.

I enjoyed knowing why you created such a list so thanks for the introduction. I agree that the list could go on forever! LOL I may throw some your way! *Laugh* Thanks for thinking of us on your own writing journey.*Star*

eyestar
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Review of The Stoning  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Delight* Happy Poetry Month! *Flowerb*

What an interesting and historic theme for a poem. Good choice. I like the first person voice as the woman being stoned tells what happened with a confusion and query as to reason for such a brutal punishment. The picture you paint is vivid. *Thumbsup*

The free style suits the theme and emotional content and the repetition of the word "stone" gives it emphasis. I see you are using the present tense, which gives us a bird's eye view. I would check out verse 3 as you change to past tense. *Wink* A quick read will show where the tenses are off.

I think lines one and two in verse two say the same thing. And the second line is passive tense...I would try for consistency of active tense.

This is a sad event and one which has taken place many times in history. It must take a lot though to pick up a rock and heave it at someone.

Thanks for following your muse and sharing this stony hearted vision. *Star*

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Review of Don't Move  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* HI CJ! Welcome to WDC and thanks for entering into a contest! Way to go!

Oh wow! This Blink entry is too creepy and you left me hanging as to what is in the bed. You certainly evoked a response and struck at my imagination!! Good job!

The short dialogue set up the story line and setting well. And the last words... leave me wondering if she would have moved. The periods at the end were effective for shock and drama!

I noticed a few typos... "Replied" does not need a capital letter and either does "Having" as the phrase follows from replied. Just put a comma after "replied".
Also, I think "get stuck" should be past tense to go with the rest of the story. "got". Could be a typo too.

You really captured this scarey piece in so few words! Keep on writing. *Starstruck*

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flowerb* Happy Poetry Month Prosperous Snow!

Wow! This is a potent expression and I was drawn right in to the vision of this inner child's memory and was glad that she found relief and a "gate" out of the prison. You have captured the experience in a vivid manner with images like a "cell", "chains" and I like the "patchwork of fears" and the fearful footsteps. That the case is "iron" gives the feeling of hopelessness and makes her strength in hearing the saving voice more inspiring. *Heart*

The freer form suits the emotional content and the two quatrains of 4 lines can represent 4 walls while the tri line last verses reflects a broken way out... and perhaps the trinity. *Wink*
The poem was effective in its rhyme, soundscape (use of assonance and consonance} and flow when I read it aloud.

I enjoyed the creativity of this expression! Thanks for sharing this vibrant vision that evokes hope for others who may be dealing with similar trauma. *Heart*

eyestar
A  birthday gift
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloong* Happy Poetry Month Harry!

*Heart*I appreciate this tribute to the foot soldier as indeed they carry the day in every battle I ever studied in history. Your understanding of their bravery, queries and duty to what has to be done for a greater cause, even without knowing if it will really help, is well shown in your poem.

*Badge* Details are vivid and I can hear the echo of how a soldier might feel. The line about "who decides who dies" is potent and the questions at the end echo through time I am sure. We are wondering still! The tone is haunting.

*Lightning2* The quatrains are well composed with a vibrant pictures and effective rhymes that assist the flow as I read aloud. Although not all lines followed a strict syllable pattern, I was not thrown out of the flow and in fact, it added interest to the piece.
The first verses were much shorter though. Was that intentional? It added a speed or perhaps anticipation.

The vocabulary choice was in keeping with the theme and references to STyx and Mankind added to the notion of how long "war" has been a norm. I liked the use of the word "shelves" as a verb. The image is unique to consider. Effective use of assonance and consonance made for a pleasant soundscape and cohesive flow. *Star*

Keeping the present tense throughout is a fine feat and kept the emotional connection immediate. *Thumbsup*

I admire the creativity and fine detail in this long poem. It kept my attention and evoked an appreciation of the foot soldiers. Thanks for giving them a tribute. *Starstruck*

eyestar
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Review of Strong Emotion  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Flowerb* Hi Cinn! Happy Poetry Month!

Look what popped up on the Read and Review to show what a gifted poet you were even at 17! Wow! This free style flow is so potent in tone and vibrant in imagery. Your impression of death is evcocative. Your words lead me to visions of war torn lives, the answer of the depressives who fight their demons, the jealousy of love and the terrible twists of dramatic lives. Sad vision.

"burning flesh" is a strong image that I can only imagine. The use of periods is interesting to cause emphatic pauses. You used the world "of" a lot and as enjambments. I think that could be tweaked to create a clearer flow.

Thanks for sharing your gifted teen self!

eyestar
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Review of From Sods to Logs  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Countryca* Hey Caerlynn! Look what popped up on Read and Review today! I thought the title was familiar. *Laugh*

You really did an awesome job creating this dual timed story and I like how you encapsule a historical memoire in the middle of the present situation. Your interpretation of the prompt was original and interesting. I like history and the details you used to show the past on the prairies reveal your research.

I enjoyed the voice and the heart felt tone of the piece. The characters were vivid and helped tell the tale. The dialogue was effective and the bits of dialect added to the atmosphere of place and ancestry origins. The emotional drama was well shown and It was easy to enter into the story and relate to the characters. *Salute*

Your description of the setting, and actions of the characters is detailed and makes the land an important character. I loved the lullaby and thanks for the reference links.

It ws fun and enjoyable to read this story again in its edited form! Good luck in the contest!*Shamrock* Thanks for adding our Canadian entry.

eyestar
A  birthday gift
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Happy Poetry Month Monty! *Flowerb*

Wow! The title of this lyric was appealing and evoked a vivid scene! *Mountainsb* I wish I could hear the tune, and made up my own so it does really flow like a song in my mind.

The picture of your travels in the search is relevant to the theme and you did an awesome job adding country names and occupations for variety and to show the length of time and space the romantic poet journeyed. It is rather haunting and reminds me of country songs. *Smile*

The form is poetic with an effective rhyme scheme and flow...depending on the music. I wanted a pause (comma) after "me" and "it" in verse one, lines 3 and 4 as two sentences seem to merge there.*Wink* The imagery is clear and I liked the ranch and the notion of a gamble. All for love!

The song was entertaining and I had fun. Thanks for composing and sharing your genius! *Star*

eyestar
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Review of Hallelujah!  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flowerv* Happy Poetry Month Tinker! What a joyful celebration of spring expressed in your flowing images! *Star*

Each verse captures a bright vision of springtime in a 5/7/5 pattern chain. I was surprised that they were not in strict haiku manner with two images contrasted in each verse and I notice some are more sentence structure than phrase patterns.

Still as a chain of Spring it has vitality and descriptive potency so we can all see the spring time events in its various connotations. The use of assonance and consonance added to the soundscape, making it pleasant to read aloud. *Smile*

You did a great job of joining each verse with end and beginning words. The mutation of Holiday to Holy Day is brilliant! *Star* It is quite a challenge and I so admire the effort and construction.

Thanks for celebrating spring with your gift!

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Unratable.)
*Smile* Hey Mumsy! This interesting item showed up in Read and Review and I am wondering if you mean to have it reviewed. It shows a lot of work keeping records of results in your game. Very organized and pretty in its colourful gold! *Thumbsup*

*Crayons*It can make one curious to check out the fun game for which it stands and shows how popular it is. I like the green glyph symbols and wondered how you typed them..eg Fe etc.

*Seahorse*Thanks for sharing your game with our community.

eyestar
A  birthday gift
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Review of This Ones For You  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight*Welcome to WDC CJ, fellow Canadian! Happy Poetry Month.

I enjoyed reading your poem with its short lines and effective rhyme scheme that assisted the flow when I read it aloud. The title is appealing and you need to put an apostrophe in "Ones" to show "one is". *Wink*

I like the the idea of "rainbows" inside and the enjambment of "fierce" is effective. Your message is romantic as the poet expresses undying love. *Heart* I could sense the connection that the poet has to his love with a hopeful tone. The punctuation served the work well too.

Thanks for sharing your evocative vision! Write on!

eyestar
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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Delight* Hello Wordsmitty! Look what showed up on the Read and Review today and.... I see I have not reviewed it. *Shock*

As usual this page is aesthetically pleasing and well organized with a clear intent to boost blogging and encourage and enlighten bloggers. I really think all the links to blogs, blog events and groups are convenient and a vital part of this newsletter each month. The invitation for others to be guest editors provides a wonderful opportunity as well!

The sections are well written and I appreciate your friendly tone and insightful comments. THe main article really fits the end of a year post. I do not blog alot though I journal and going back over the year's writings can be helpful. I do not always do it as it is just for me. I like you questions to ask... to see if the blog served its intent. *Thumbsup* Gives me something to think about. I liked how you did add the last line about us 'Journalers". LOL And yep, it does serve me to write on!

The main editorial gave lots of food for thought and evaluation. Thanks for promoting the quills too... as there is a blog section! *Smile*

Another enjoyable newsletter in which I gained valueable insights. Thanks for creating this vital contribution to WDC! *Star*

eyestar
A  birthday gift

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Review of Hindi Masti Song  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (1.5)
*Smile* Welcome to WDC Meri Anjali Didi and for posting your first item. I found this piece on the Read and Review.

*Star*The title is clear in saying the form of your piece but I am unable to read and enjoy it as it seems to be in your language perhaps? I would love to see a translation if it is. And what language does it represent? The letters mean nothing to me so it is hard to review for you.*Sad*

It does seem to be written in a poetic format. Why is yellow highlighting certain phrases?

I hope you will come back with a translation or hint. *Star* It is hard to rate.

Write on!

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Review of First one  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Hi Just Dave! Welcome to WDC and thanks for posting your first item! *Salute* I remember when I did my first one..exciting and trembling. LOL

The one line poem makes a bold statement and is very romantic. It speaks of a committment and devotion to one person.

I am not sure if it is a poem with only one line but its sentiment fits the genre for sure. I would like to hear more about this love. *Heart*

I think the word "would" is missing in "I rather". eg. I'd rather. *Wink*

Thanks for jumping into WDC and I hope you will write on! *Star* Let me know if you need assistance getting to know your way around.

Happy Poetry Month!

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Review of Winter Bloom  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Delight* Welcome to WDC BlizzardBlitzer! *Sun* Happy Poetry Month!

I am charmed by your romantic expression and really enjoyed the old fashioned aura of the words like "err to succomb", "ministrations" and "yonder" and "petrified hollow" is so descriptive! *Salute*

It was pleasing to read aloud and I could hear the plaintive tone of pleading. The style is a quatrain and while the syllable/rhythm count is not consistent in each verse, it did not detract from the impact and message. I did want to read "fumble on paper stilts" as "upon" made the flow a bit long there. I was wondering if there should be a word like "the" or "a" in line 3 in v 5.*Wink*

The rhyme scheme is effective and adds to the overall flow and soundscape along with your assonance and consonance useage. The last line evoked a sadness and the image of "knoll and turn" is lovely as it is different. I would maybe put a comma after 'Hope" though I see your choice of no punctuation does work.

Your images are vivid and effective In drawing me into this vision. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for creating this evocative piece and sharing your talent. *Starstruck* Keep on writing!

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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lou. *Delight* I really enjoyed your story and could so imagine the relationship situation between dad and daughter. *Smile* You did a good job showing the father's memories and hesitancy about getting a pet! The descriptions were detailed and the dialogue carried the story well.

The plot was coherent and I like the addition of specifics in the search, where you even add what the search suggested! *Laugh* Key words also let us know that the father really wants his daughter to get the dog..in spite of his no! It felt realistic. *Thumbsup* He is a softy.

The first person narration is effective and consistently carried throughout the piece.
The line "I can do a Google search and it should tell me where they live," seemed off due to the tense unless you mean him to be saying this in the conversation. Otherwise it is a disconnected inner thought...when other times you used past tense. *Wink* Just a tweak needed maybe.

The last line had a nice twist in that he has to wait a bit for her return and it is a charming picture of them snuggling. Lovely vision.

Thanks for sharing this heartfelt expression. I am glad the dog found a home. *Star*

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for entry "Leprechaun Limerick
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Shamrock* Hail Joy! *Gold* Springing Into Fantasy at Power Raid and could not resist this lively expression I found on the newsfeed! *Delight*

*Fairy2*How delightful to read and visualize this vivid image of the leprechaun! It was comical and well crafted in the limerick form. I enjoyed the interesting language that fit the theme and folklore as well as being dramatic. eg Icky, wiz, blahs. I loved "sophic vision" as a description and I can just see this picture. Each verse leads to the next and the wise advice is clear and it's reason at the end had me laughing. *Laugh*

Each verse followed the limerick format and the words create an appealing soundscape as I read it aloud. The tongue twist of "imps flimsy wings" and the well chosen rhymes make it fun to read and adds to its overall flow. *Thumbsup* Good job rhyming with "magical", a tough one and it works.

Thanks for sharing an entertaining and light hearted poem, to help celebrate St. Patrick's Day!*Starstruck*

Keep on writing on! *Star*

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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*Delight* Hi Alan. I saw this story on the "WDC Powers Review Me List 2--ON HIATUS so here I am to review it. I am here with a reader's persective. *Smile* I was really taken with the character and you did a great job of describing him with visual elements and especially with his tone and voice as narrator. It was consistent and sounded like a young person.

The short chapters make sense as he seems to speak about a number of experiences in a journal- like manner as if unsure how he should approach writing. It is personal and takes me right into his world. You make it clear from the start that he is interested in language and writing and I like he develops his opinions on language and spelling.

I really felt for him as he is different and seems like an outsider, yet handles his condition creatively and expresses honestly. He appears to have great observations skills.

Speaking of which there are quite a few spelling errors and lack of punctuation is some sentence structures. As I read, I got the idea that the mispellings were on purpose as if to show the boy really wrote the work, a part of how you show his personality and skill. I like his intelligence and interest in books and how curious he is about words and how people are.

If it is intentional, you may want to make a footnote about it, as some authors might not read on once they notice, or want to point out so many errors like"becaues" or "boreing". LOL The first one is hilarious as so many kids get it wrong. *Laugh* You may want to remove the rating stars. *Wink*

The writing seems natural and free flowing as a boy talks. The descriptions of the older characters are vivid and they feel natural and real as people. I had to laugh at the speaker's telling us when there is a pun! Brilliant! *Smile*

I really enjoyed the vision you created and could picture this lad in this entertaining piece. Thanks for sharing this unique expression. *Starstruck*

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Review of Bangaround  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Delight* HI fivesixer. The title to this poem is appealing so I had to read.*Smile*

The free style poem carries that vibration that the title speaks of and I can so see inside the poet's head. You show confusion very vividly and the notion of bashing oneself. It keeps one stuck! Even name calling with "troll" fits and gives a sense of personality. Good play on word sound there too. *Smile* Line 13 gave me pause and I pondered. Great effect.

It was an interesting read with simple words and the style gave it a dramatic flow. I wondered at the word "uncompatible" as it is generally spelled "incompatible". The idea that we are incompatible within ourselves is brilliant reflection. *Thumbsup*

I really enjoyed entering into your unique vision. Thanks for sharing your gift. *Starstruck*

eyestar
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Review of Scream!  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Ameila! Thanks for sharing this amazing expression which I found at "Review Me List for WDC Power -ON HIATUS! *Delight*

Wow! Your voice here is strong with a potent emotional content. I could really enter the experience and hear the two voices interacting. The situation is dramatic with a sense of trauma that is heart breaking.

I noticed a few minor typos:

In verse, the first "you're" needs to be "your" and in verse 5 "your" needs to "you're" for "you are". *Wink*

I like the use of the I voice in both cases I wonder why you used "us" in the second last line?
Is it letting us know that it is not just the one person in the family that thinks like this?

I see you began to separate the voices on the right in italics and the left without. Did you intend that? If you use {i} and then {/i} after the last word you want to put in italics, you can have the left side stay plain. You need to do this each time. eg.
{i} at the start{/i} gives you at the start. *Wink*

The conversation is well composed and shows exactly how each of the speakers felt and how lost in the anger they both were. So realistic! *Starstruck* I felt sad.

Thanks for sharing this vivid vision and your gift. *Thumbsup*



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Review of The truth  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloony*Welcome to WDC Gagan ! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you and share my perspective as a reader. *Bookopen*

*Smile* This was fun to read and I like the premise of the play/script. The dialogue reminded me of how wise teachers say little and keep questioning. The tone and character of the two speakers was clear to me as they spoke. Good job!

I noticed a missing word in " I getting a feeling". You need the word "am". *Wink* Also a quick edit will show where punctuation is missing. Being consistent is key for this matter. *Smile*
Words like "dont' and Its" need apostrophes. "don't", "it's". Drop the "s" in 'Yours friend's name" near the end. A typo I think. *Smile*
In the hypnotise part--- i should be capital and "can't", also "hypnotized" should be "hypnotize". *Wink*

I like the idea of each one being the most important person... as one does have to take care and love themselves. His reaction about girls really fit the focus of the boy!

I like the mystical and the mystery here. It feels like there is a uselessness of life for the boy. I got the idea that he entered the room which could be a metaohor for after"death". You get me to ponder! Thanks for sharing your vision. *Star* Good read!

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
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Review of Poe's Empty Grave  
Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Delight*Wow! Hooves, this is ominous in tone and so fits both the prompt and the poet! Brilliant how you captured Poe's life and writings in this creative expression. How terrific to get the symbolism of the girl, the dagger and raven applied to Lenore and Poe. *Salute*The short lines give an abrupt sense and the format is appealing with its rise and fall.

Your word choice is effective and concise to give meaning and brevity. Key word references to Poe's world are well chosen and meaningful for your message. It was lovely to read aloud as your use of assonance and consonance and placing of words created a strong soundscape, evoking response and building on a dark theme.

I am impressed and fell right into your vision and stunning craft! *Starstruck* Poe would be proud and honoured. Well deserved win in the contest.

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Review by eyestar~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Balloony*Welcome to WDC sfttarget ! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you and share my perspective as a reader. *Bookopen*

I enjoyed how you developed the theme of the title on red heads and the story held my interest. Your first line made me curious as to what "it" was so I had to read on! I liked the memory sequence that set the story and the descriptions of the encounters were vivid. You did a great job making her the center of his attention and your last sequence was effective and leaves us to our imagination. *Salute*

I could really imagine the meeting from his observation of his and her reactions. I really liked the memory of the father's words too-- a nice throwback to the opening scene. *Star*

As a reader there were a few places that struck me that could be improved. See what you think.

*Burstr*The second paragraph I think could use tweaking as it feels awkward in structure. I would be more specific at the start. Make the age direct..eg. 40! In the second line could be more straigthforward in flow: My longings for the sweet heroine, long forgotten, rose when...." or something like that. Also, I wanted to know more about how they met and who she was.

*Burstr*Also, "beautiful" is an overused and not very descripive word and what did it have to do with getting out of the car. Maybe say how he reacted when he saw her step out of the car or.." *Wink* I liked the descriptions but was confused when you say he looked into her eyes the first time...as earlier the story said they had met a few times already. I get the idea of the reaction though as the energy vibe was different.

*Burstr*The last line in paragraph 3 struck me too. It could be refined a bit as you use "and" a lot. Tighten it up like " She exuded an aura of confidence and...." what else did the aura hold for him? *Smile*

*Burstr*I have heard it is stronger to use active rather than passive voice in the telling..eg not "was permitted". Be direct like "She let me hold her hand.."*Smile* Watch for other instances.

Thanks for sharing your wonderful romantic vision. And for allowing me to enter your world. Take what is helpful to you and leave the rest. I appreciate your expression. *Starstruck*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
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#1300305 by Maryann




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