Hi BIG BAD WOLF is hopping  !
Congrats on winning Fantasy Package C in "Genre Auction and Fundraiser"  ! I'm here to give you your first review of two, as promised.
  Characters:
Jessy, a young female fox anthro, and Jay, her pet human. I found it intriguing that the fox anthros were the dominant species in this story, and humans were merely pets. It was reminiscent of the (original) movie Planet of the Apes, but definitely different and unique in its own right. I would've liked to know the physical characteristics of Jessy, the fox anthro, as I couldn't quite come up with how she looked in my mind. Jay was easy, as he's a one-foot tall human, but Jessy needs some descriptions maybe towards the middle of the story just to give us a strong visual.
Plot:
Jessy and her pet Jay have moved to Jessy's aunt's house after her father was killed. They are refugees of sorts. Jessy is interested in making Jay bigger, like how humans used to be their normal size and not one-foot tall, and she is also of the firm belief that humans should be freed and not made pets. They seek out a magic glove of her father's that could shrink and grow humans, and once they find it, they use it for a mission to free the humans, a growing and stealth movement that they created together. When Jessy used the glove on Jay to make him bigger, she thought he was handsome and I sensed a possible romance between them in the later chapters of this story. That would be very cool 
Setting:
First they were at Jessy's aunt's house, then they returned to her home to find her father's glove. Little description was used for the setting, but a few elements were included to give me an idea somewhat of what it looked like. Maybe the description of the town could be expanded, because this seems futuristic and I want to know how much things have changed.
Narration: Voice, Tone, Exposition, Metaphors/Similes, Basic Storytelling and Diction:
The voice is a third person narrative, which allows more freedom in the writing. First person is very restrictive in my opinion, and you get away with a lot more in third person, so I thought this was a wise choice. The tone was very suspenseful as there was a lot happening and each bit of dialogue led to more action, which led to more dialogue, and so on. That was very good. The pacing was consistent and the story flowed naturally.
 Dialogue:
The dialogue seemed natural between the characters, but I do want to point out one thing. You used speaker indicators with almost every line of dialogue, especially when only Jessy and Jay were talking. Those can be eliminated, all but the first two to establish who is talking. Thereafter, only pure dialogue is sufficient. If the reader is paying attention (as he very well should be!) then he'll know who is speaking as the dialogue flows, if there is a lot of it all at once.
Beginning and Ending:
The beginning interested me because it employed dialogue from the get go, and wasn't heavy in exposition or descriptions of scenery which can often be tiresome. This was not the case, and the story launched right into the action, the meat of it, so I felt like it was a great beginning. The ending contained a paragraph of future events carried out by the HG and what their purpose was. I felt like this wasn't necessary, because we should read about it in later chapters, and I felt like you gave too much away at the end. The story seemed complete, but it really needs a good cliffhanger to entice us to continue on to the next chapter.
Errors:
I didn't find any blatant errors, but the usage of "that that" can be shortened to one "that". It'll have the same meaning. This occurred twice, pretty close together, and it just sounds awkward. It is something I write often myself, but upon editing and proofreading, I remove a "that" so that it reads and sounds much better.
Suggestions:
Just what I mentioned above, and the speaker IDs after dialogue. The "he said" and "she said" becomes a bit redundant when overused.
Summary:
This was a fascinating story set in the future of a fantasy world where fox anthros rule the world, and humans are still around, but only play the role of mere pets to the fox anthros. I'd be interested to know if there were any other animal species who lived among the anthros and who had just as much power as they did. If not, though, the anthros and humans suffice just fine. I loved the interaction between Jessy and Jay, and the suspenseful and last-minute mission they went on to find the glove was well written and well placed in the story. I greatly enjoyed this read. I hope you found my review helpful.
Thanks for sharing your talent, and keep writing!  
April
** Image ID #1787886 Unavailable **
 
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I could actually see these places because your descriptions were so rich and detailed. Excellent work.
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