|Hi Lilliy, Thank You for inviting me to review your story, "Glass Box" , I'm very pleased to do so!!
I enjoyed your tale, even though this isn't normally the type of story I'm drawn too, I found it thought-provoking and intriguing.
Your descriptions are rich and you do a great job showing me rather than telling me in most places, the words - see, sees, it's feel, feels and there - are usually "telling" words. You can make this an even stronger story by hunting them down and re-working to make more "showing".
She sits and wonders, and that’s her life. Looks and analyzes and that’s alright.
Has a very poetic rhythm and feel to it, that I really, really liked. Your skills as a poet show through in your rhythmic pacing and language choice. Try reading this sentence, then read it without the and between "looks and analyzes".
You do the same thing in several other places, to very good effect;
Outside is what matters, outside is the world. In here there is nothing but her and hers.
My thoughts on this one are perhaps make use of contracts for Outside is (outside's) (both times) and there is (there's). The consecutive repetition here; her and hers, jars me a bit. I know what you want to say. Can you say it without using "hers"?
Never look down. Never touch things. Never blink. Only watch, listen, and learn.
There are many others, some you might want to read out loud with and without contractions, see which way you feel the rhythm better.
This phrase is the prize winning line!
to the indigo tears dropped on the scrapbook from a writer's eyes.
I don't usually do metaphysical/psychological analysis, but I think I see clear metaphors in this piece. It seems, at least to me that this is the tale of someone locked into their own mind, fighting hard to stay within their "world", but dragged unwillingly into someone else's. I may be way off base, but hey, I'm only the trombone player
Again I love the internal poetry in your prose!! Your writing style is delightful as was the fact that there were no grammatical/spelling aspects to comment upon (something I aspire to). As always keep in mind this review is my opinion, please use what works for you and disregard the rest. Thank You, For Sharing Your Considerable Talent With Us! Keep Writing!!!