Hello Eric, This is a good start to your career as a columnnist. Can I have your autograph now? It may be worth good money one day.
I would suggest that you make a folder for all of your Shades of Gray items. That would put them all together in one place for those who will become devoted readers of your work.
Hey there, I once again have enjoyed one of your tales from Australia. This time a true experience.
I like your writing style. It carries me along with the tale you are telling. I feel like I am sitting around a campfire at night, listening to a famous storyteller.
Keep 'em comin' our way and we will keep readin' 'em.
Okay I like this cute little shorty. But let's fix a couple places in this one too. I went ahead with the 4.5 rating, knowing you'll edit these two spots.
In the third line 'I' needs to be 'I'm'. And in the last line I think maybe the word 'come' could be changed to 'bring'.
Oh yeah, I like this better. I'm not sure exactly how much you edited, but this time through I can really get into this piece.
I noticed a couple spots where you fixed spelling mistakes. The title change is good. I wasn't waiting for it to be about a coyote this time. The ending line finished off this piece nicely.
The title of the poem was what made me check it out. I was expecting to read about coyotes. Instead it was about finding moose horns. Which is a good subject, but maybe a different title could be used.
The last line is good, but it is the only line with the word coyote in it. I think you could write another poem about the coyote serenade as well.
You misspelled the word 'through' you typed 'threw'
I also think some punctuation would help the rhythm and flow while someone is reading this.
This poem has a lot of potential. I would like to reread it after some editing. Mostly the punctuation, the one mispelled word, and the title.
These are just opinions from one point of view. Ultimately the author has to be the one who is satisfied with his work. However, if you do decide to edit, let me know. I can always change my rating and write a new review.
This is a wonderful short story of surrendering to the comfort of God's arms.
You did a good job of describing the mental and physical aspects of your despair. You also did a good job of describing the welcoming tenderness of God.
I have experienced the snuggling into the arms of our Heavenly Father. I can identify with your story completely.
You typed the letter 'e' at the end of the word 'beneath'. I went ahead with the rating knowing you would most likely edit.
Let me start by saying how honored I am that you would ask me for a review. This shows your attention to detail. You are 'checking stuff out'.
Your poem amazes me! You sound like a bard. According to your bio-block, an 18 year old bard.
There are a few of the 'days of yore' words I had to look up in the dictionary. You used 'desiderated' correctly. It means a longing for. I had to ponder the word 'specie' for a bit to understand the lines around it, as well as the phrase 'omnipotent octopus'.
Threnodies was also used correctly.
As I get further into this review and am thinking about what you wrote, I come to three possible conclusions. One, you copied this from somewhere. Two, this is just dumb luck. Three, you are very talented and insightful.
I prefer to think it is number three. Whichever it is, thank you for making me think about what I was reading. I enjoyed this time on the review.
Hello Barbarea, this is a lovely little poem that describes a bird waiting to learn to fly. It is also a good metaphor for a person starting out in life.
You mentioned in the description that the picture wouldn't upload. Well, the picture is included. So I think you could change your description.
This is a nice item. I enjoyed it even if it is short.
This is a poem telling of the feelings while waiting for a review. You view it as looking for flaws. I look at reviewing as looking for good 'stuff' and how it can be made even better.
Each individual is at a different stage in their writing ability. And each has their own talent and style. What a review does is give you another persons point of view. It can make you examine what you have written and decide if they are way off base and what you wrote is exactly as you want it. Or, it can help you see ways to improve your writing. Or, a combination of both.
So please try not to feel as you state in your last verse. I understand and remember that at first reviews are a little scary. But reviewers are on your side. They are not wanting to attack you and your work.
They just are expressing their opinion.
So just relax and enjoy being a part of our community.
We are glad you are here! Nancy
Hi again, My husband is a Quality Assurance technician so I thought I would check out this piece on your research of fiber board. I don't understand his 'stuff', but yours made sense to me. It was laid out in a good manner. The technical information was balanced well with the very thorough, written results.
I think the last two sentences may have a word left out of them. You may need to put the word 'is' between the words 'hydration' and 'dependent'. Then in the last sentence I think the word 'to' should be placed between the words 'manufacturers' and 'improve'.
I am impressed that someone could write a technical piece that I could understand and didn't make me want to stop reading.
Hi Ritchie, the explanation and editing helped quite a bit. I changed the rating.
As for a suggestion for a title change for your allegory, well, that is a hard one to think of. Maybe you could go with something along the line of 'Man As a Mountain' or 'The Mountain Meets Destiny' or 'The Mountain Finds Grace'.
Thanks for letting me know you edited your piece. Keep in touch. I look forward to reading more of your writing.
This allegory would be better understood if you would include what it is an allegory about in the description. You put the words together quite well, but as I said, an explanation would help the reader to understans it better.
There are also some spelling errors to be edited. Check the words: consistant, akward, and malnurished.
If you edit this and add the explanation, you can let me know and I will change my rating accordingly.
I'm glad you are a part of our community! If you have other classmates who are joining WDC, let me know and I will review them also.
Hello again, This is a wonderful tribute to 'Pop'.
I have read the tributes written by the rest of the family who are members of WDC. Yours is just as glowing as the rest.
The rhyming and rhythm are good. I like what you say and how you say it. I feel peace even though the loss is a part of your lives.
Hello Georgina, I found out today that Meg is your mother-in-law. So, I came to your portfolio to say hello and found this tribute to her. It emphasizes what I have observed through her writing and her emails. It also echoes what I have read in items her children have written.
You have expressed your thoughts well. There is one place where you left out a letter. You need the letter 'd' at the end of the word 'exclaime(d)'. And maybe you could write the word (Cos) with a mark in front of it ('Cos). It is not the complete word. The (') mark indicates that and would polish off the look of the poem.
I am glad to meet you! I will look forward to reading more of your work.
This poem makes me a little sad; wanting to be close to the one you love, even if it means being there without having the feelings returned to you. What devotion!
You misspelled 'Juliet' but other than that I saw no errors.
Hello, I am so delighted to be the first to review and rate this. It is wonderful.
It has an ethereal feel to it. I hesitate to use the word lofty, because that so often has a negative connotation. But that is also how this feels to me, (not in the negative sense.)
Thank you sooo much for sharing this.
Nancy
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