This is wonderful, I want to know that the treasure is. Sounds like a watch to me. I have been corresponding with your mother. She is a wonder! She told me about you, Geno and now another brother has joined the site, BOOM. I am now going to read Geno's poem and see what he has to say.
Oh, I hate bugs! Especially spiders. I like a person who can make a poem out of even the mundane and yucky things in life. And you rhyme!
I will mention your Mum once more, but in future reviews I will try to review on your own merit and not compare you to her. Your writing does remind me of hers. At least in this one. I will look forward to reading more of your work.
Well, this is the second of your poems I've read. First of all congratulations! Your Mum is very proud of all her children and grandchildren. I'm sure she is estatic over this 'switch in direction' for you.
You did a good job with the rhyming. Just curious, what is whinging? I don't understand that word. Maybe it is an Australian expression.
Hello Welcome to Writing.Com. I have been corresponding with your mother for several days. I am so glad you are here. Your Mum is a wonderful person. Her style of poetry strikes my fancy. I live in Michigan in the United States and she, of course, lives in Australia, yet I feel a bond with her.
You did a good job with this poem. In the last verse, you need to capitalize the word 'I'. Being one for strict rhyme, I think if, in the last line you would the final words to'each brother, it would go with mother very well. But that is just the way I am. This is a good poem without that change.
Nice to have you here along with your mother and brothers. Nancy
Thanks for sharing this informative article. I am searching for explanations of the different terms and forms of writing. I want to use them properly.
You included wonderful examples of both prose and poetry. While prose provides good imagery, the exquisite beauty that is possible in poetry is what caresses my soul. You provided that beauty with your poem.
I read the song you wrote today. It tells a sad story, but lets us know it was God who saved your lives.
There are some mistakes I am going to help you fix that would improve the rating of it.
There are some lines that you need to capitalize the first word for. lines 3, 13, and 14.
In line 3 you forgot the the letter 'r' in the word brother.
You misspelled the word 'chorus'
The word 'god' should start with a capital letter.
Line 7 you misspelled the word 'sparkled'
Line 10 'badge' is misspelled, 'introduced' is misspelled, 'her self' should be one word, 'officer'
is misspelled and the name 'hershey' should be capitalized.
Line 12 the word 'the' should be 'that'
line 15 there should be an apostrophe in the word 'it's' because it's a contraction for it is,
line 17 you have a space in the word 'stoo d'
I am not criticising your work. You did a good job with the song and the words. I'm just trying to help you with the grammar.
You have an excellent writing style. You pour your heart out with every word.
Welcome to Writing.com. In your Bio you mentioned that you weren't sure if your writing was any good. It is!
I am sorry that you have had such pain in your life, but writing helps with that. My life hasn't had as much sorrow as yours, but your writing helps me to understand and empathize with you.
I have read several of your items and will comment on them individually.
Funny how sometimes only the bad seems to stand out in our mind. You are correct. If we just look at the total picture, we will see it's not as bad as we thought.
As usual you have used excellent rhyme and rhythm. Short but full of good truth.
Okay, so you are no longer a newbie but an oldie. I say an oldie but goodie. This poem proves that.
You promise to help other newbies as you have been helped.You are afraid no one will read your items any more. Don't worry your pretty, little head(and I don't mean pretty-little head)you have at least one friend here at WDC. Me!
What a good way to get rid of those childhood trolls that plague us. We could use that method for the adulthood trolls also.
I think you and your daughter should write a story about the trolls life after you left him behind, I know this story started my creative juices stirring.
Once again, a poem that is right up my alley. A rhyming news story.
There are such wonderful organizations out there! I wish I had all kinds of money so I could do stuff like that. I fly to Australia to meet you, or fly you here.
Maybe we could do both. In the meantime and in reality, I'm glad we have this site, so we can visit.
In the 5th verse, you need to capitalize the first word.(oops)
I am thoroughly enjoying my visit at your place. And it is fun having you visit mine. It's been like 'dueling reviews'. Only we both get to win!
This poem gets the same 'rave' review as all your other 'stuff' has. You are an inspired poet. I'm glad we got to meet.(I know, sounds kinda sappy) but it's true.
I'll try to type the correct image number this time. I keep leaving out an 8.
Oh, now this one is sad! It makes my heart hurt to think you have a reason to shut yourself away. And again you express it in perfect rhyme and rhythm.
This is another of your wondrous poems. Once again your writing style amazes me. I love it.
The butterfly picture at the beginning reminds me of my mother. She was a 'butterfly' person. When she died, I got her real butterfly mounted under a dome. It was just like the one in your picture.
How wonderful that your family has passed the wooden one down for three generations, and it will be passed on when you no longer 'need' it.
This brought tears to my eyes! What a wonderful tribute to your aunt and uncle. I love the way you say things in your poems. I know I used the word refreshing before, but I have to use it again; Refreshing!
I live in Vicksburg, Michigan. Which is just 10 miles or so from Kalamazoo. That is a fun word to say.
This is a wonderful idea! Maybe we all should get clocks to keep track of everyone elses time zones. And to think, you explained the idea in perfect rhyme!
Nancy
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