*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/daizy/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: OFF
1,352 Public Reviews Given
1,743 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 -3- 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
51
51
Review of Blacken Mirror  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi there Bleeding Dawn I came upon this poem using the random read tool.

You have written this piece in the style of dark poetry. Your words fit that genre very well.

However I think the word 'blacken' should be 'blackened'. It is used several times in the title and body of the piece.

There are a few lines that end in a period, but don't appear to be a complete sentence. That is bothersome to me and makes it hard to follow the flow of the piece. I also am not sure about the use of the word 'downed' in the last verse. I'm not sure what that means.

I think this is a good premise for a dark piece of poetry, but needs some work.

mug sig created by kiyasama
52
52
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there Revelry new writings soon

You have written a good description of the Joker from the Batman Movies. Each element you included fits him to a tee, from the malicious grin to his addressing the commissioner.

There are no grammatical or mechanics errors to make note of. The only thing I might mention is using the ampersand instead of the word and. That may not be a big deal, but it bothers me a little.

Otherwise this is a good unrhymed, free verse poem describing one of the Arch enemies of Batman.

Daizy

Nre Simply Positive Reviewer Signature.
53
53
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there nextlevel Welcome to the Writing.com family. I am reviewing your short story on behalf of the Simply Positive Reviewing Group.

Even though my grandparents had different surroundings you take me back years (I won't tell you how many) to my childhood. I lived in houses in two cities that had big yards like you describe.

There is not a lot to say about the mechanics and grammar of your piece. Both seem okay to me. The development to its conclusion is good,

This is just like sitting at a table at the restaurant reminiscing about childhood times and whatever else might come to mind.

Thanks for this little interlude.

Daizy

Animated blue heart with red hearts SPN group sig.
54
54
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello there Cleoh Dasle welcome to the WDC family. I am reviewing today on behalf of "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" 

I will start with telling you that I am not at all one to enjoy dark poetry. I write poetry myself, but it is full of laughter and light. So I am not comfortable with the content of this. However, I can comment as to mechanics etc. You used more of a free verse style that fits well with the content. The loose rhyming was also okay for the content of this piece.

The contraction 'raven's' means raven is. You need to use the possessive for that word.

In the line that contains 'underneath of these sheets' I think it would sound a little more polished if you removed the word "of'.

You misspelled the word 'upon' near the end of the poem, the word 'tongue' was misspelled, as was the word 'conceal' which you used in the last two repeating lines.

Again I welcome you to WDC. I am sure that those here who write dark poetry themselves will appreciate your work. Our differences is what makes this world a wonderful place to live. How boring it would be if we all were the same.

Daizy

** Image ID #1518002 Unavailable **
55
55
Review of Dear God 3/3/2011  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi lifesong I see you have been a member here for only a couple weeks. Welcome to the family.

This letter to our Lord is exactly how I feel also. You have expounded in a few words the truth of life with God. The words are concise, not flowery. You flow from the beginning to the end without interrupting the reading. This was a pleasure to read.

Good job!!!! Keep Him first!!!!

Another Daizy
56
56
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi there Indelible Ink I came across this using the random read tool. And the title totally blew me away. lol

There isn't a lot I can say as far as a constuctive review goes. The enitre piece seems perfect to me. The names you used for the characters fit in with the genre of the story. The progression of events isn't jumbled about, they flow right along to the ending. And that ending gave me quite a chuckle.

All in all this is a 5 star chapter.

Another Daizy
57
57
Review of Dreams  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Sarah Rae

Being a poet, I was drawn to your poetry folder while visiting your portfolio. Usually I notice the lack of rhyme and meter, but not so with this poem until I got to the end and read that this was an attempt at writing without either. The subject matter fit nicely with this poetic style. We can't control our dreams, so why set limits on writing about them?

You described so poetically what a dream is all about as well as using exactly the right words in that description. Makes me want to go take a nap, so I can experience what you have described here.

After having read one of your earlier short stories, I am now going to read one of your newer ones. See you in a few minutes.

Another Daizy
58
58
Review of Face  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey Finn O'Flaherty this little piece is so creative and unique. Your few words have brought a long story to life.

I was clicking through the random read tool and this popped up. I almost clicked again before I read this. What a mistake that would have been!!!

This wasn't really meant to be a review. I just wanted put it somewhere public so people would see it, read it and enjoy it as much as I did.

I am sending gift points to thank you for posting an enjoyable-to read item.

Another Daizy
59
59
Review of MOUSE  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there Lou-Here By His Grace It has been a long time since I have read any of your work.

While I think this piece is well written and the imagery is wonderful and the story flows along without any bumpy spots and the words used are apt for the content and .........

I can only say eeeuuuuwww!! Those baby mice are going to grow into adult mice and they will have babies and their babies will have babies and then the world will be overrun by mice. I will have to buy mouse traps galore and I will go broke. If I go broke I won't have any money for food. If I can't buy food there will be no crumbs for the mice to eat and they will starve to death. So, my point is get rid of those baby mice in that box and keep tragedy from happening.

Another Daizy
60
60
Review of Snake Eyes  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello again poeticamor16

This is the second of your pieces I have read. I had much better luck following and understanding this one. You left no doubt as to how you felt about this person. Each word you used had it's purpose in the poem.

I think though, you could replace one of the words; the first line, I feel your eyes 'glazed' on my back' . I don't think 'glazed' is the right word. Perhaps, I feel your gaze on my back, would work.

In the line where you wrote '....take a hold...' I think you could remove the word 'a' and say 'take hold'.

I considered the word 'embedded' which was used in the last line. At first it sounded incorrect there. But after reading it several times, I guess maybe it is okay.

You did a good job of sharing your feelings.

Daizy

** Image ID #1518002 Unavailable **
61
61
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello there poeticamor I see you have only been a member for a few days. I hope you will enjoy your place in the WDC family.

I have read this sonnet. I can follow some of it and understand that it speaks of love for someone. However, I am having trouble following what you are trying to say. For example the second line says 'when I kiss like fist to touch'. This doesn't make sense to me. I tried to understand it, but can't. And I'm not sure why you ended the last line with the word 'cripple'.

I know that each thing an author writes is personal to them. So maybe I don't understand what you are saying because I don't know you and your life.

Please don't let my comments discourage you. I am only one person in this huge community. Keep writing. Keep writing. Keep writing.

Daizy

Animated blue heart with red hearts SPN group sig.
62
62
Review of Will It Ever Be?  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
HI there, D. J. Harrington I see you have only been a member of the WDC family for a couple weeks. I hope you are getting used to us okay.

You have expressed the desire to be published in a poetic manner. You wrote it in a free verse style so there is no rhyme or rhythm pattern to follow.

There are no grammatical or technical problems that I have noticed.

The content of the poem leaves the reader with a feeling that maybe it will never happen. However the last verse shows the true heart of the writer. We write even if it is only the sun and moon that hear what we have to say.

Again, welcome. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Daizy

Animated blue heart with red hearts SPN group sig.
63
63
Review of Untitled  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there rachel-k I am reviewing your piece today on behalf of the Simply Positive Newbies Review.

First off, I tend to choose items to read by the title. An interesting title will catch a reader's attention. So maybe you could give this one a title other than 'Untitled." If not for finding this in the forum, I probably would not have read it.

The content of the poem shows deep love for the one written about. That is very evident.

Being one who tries to adhere to strict rhyme, there were a couple spots of rhyming that bothered me a little. However that is just a personal thing. I also usually prefer a rhythm pattern, but this was a free write style, so that is not an issue.

Despite my comments on rhyme and rhythm,I feel you have done a good job of letting us (and the person this is written for) know exactly how you feel in a poetic manner.

Glad you have joined the family here at WDC. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Daizy

** Image ID #1518002 Unavailable **

64
64
Review of PLAYING THE GAME  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there Dr M C Gupta

This piece of poetry is well written. It follows the rhyming pattern perfectly as does the rhythm pattern you indicated at the end of the poem.

Your inspirational message comes across clearly, and I like the way you stated it. The last verse is a good summation of the whole. In the end it doesn't matter how much we won or lost, but how we played the game.

Good job!!!

Daizy

Daizy May #21
65
65
Review of Roses in Heaven  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there Winnie Kay

What a wonderful elegy you wrote for your mother. I am in awe of your poetic nature. The words you chose to use are inspiring.!

The rhythm and flow are spot on. This is due to following the chosen form to the letter. Your rhyming is perfect.

I was going to pick out my favorite verse or line, but that is impossible. No line or verse stands out on its own. They all just mesh together into one 5 star poem. This is how poetry should be written and read.

Daizy

Another Daizy
66
66
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there kiwi-warz This is a Newbie Review on behalf of the Simply Positive Group.

Your cynicism is quite evident in this piece on innocence. It seems apparent that you have been decieved in the past. I'm sorry that you had to experience something that affected you like that. ( I say this only because we usually tend to write poetry about what we have experienced)

I noticed the lack of punctuation, but I am old school. I know that a poet doesn't have to include it. I also noticed in the last line that you used the word 'it' after the word 'is'. Maybe that was intentional. However, to me it would sound better without.

In your introductory sentence under the title, I think the use of the the word 'present' is a little out of place. Perhaps the word 'evident' might make the introduction clearer.

You have done a good job of letting us know how you feel about those who you think are feigning innocence.

Daizy

Animated blue heart with red hearts SPN group sig.
67
67
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi there Jaeff | KBtW of the Free Folk This review will be on behalf of the Simply Positive Group.

This biographical essay on your life in 2000 and how it brought you to where you are today makes me feel old. I graduated from high school in the year of the original Woodstock.(1969) My son also graduated in 2000. So I guess that really does make me old.

This was a good means of letting me travel back through my own timeline. The word pictures of your life at that time were penned well. It was easy to experience the incidents you highlighted .

I like the inclusion of the Roman Numeral markers for each incidence. This made it easy to flow from one experience to another.

Your summation at the end helped tie the separate incidences together, and did a good job of explaining the purpose of the article.

Thanks for this opportunity to wander down my memory lane while walking down yours.

Daizy

A Simply Positive reviewing sig.
68
68
Review of Two Mimes  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there Sum1 I am reviewing on behalf of the Simply Positive Group.

This poem of the deaf mimes is quite poignant. The content is thought provoking.

The rhythm of the piece is a little choppy and needs to be smoothed out a bit. This would help the reader to have an easier time following the story. Perhaps using the same syllable count in each line would help.

I am one to use punctuation more, so noticed the lack of periods at the end of the sentences. However, in poetry that is up to the discretion of the poet, so not a big deal to anyone but me. I also am old school and prefer strict rhyming. But again, that is merely a personal thing.

I look forward to reading more of your work. I hope there is more poetry. I will check your portfolio to see.

Daizy

A Simply Positive reviewing sig.
69
69
Review of Folgers Falls  
Review by Daizy May
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, I enjoy coffee and humor. (In fact, I was sipping on a mug of coffe while reading.) You provided both with this writing. And you gave us a bit of the 'revenge' we all crave once in a while; poetic justice or something of that sort.

Thanks for sharing this enjoyable kick start to the day. I am off to work now with a smile on my face and a spring in my step.

Actually, where I live it is a puddle of cold, icy slush in my step, but Spring can't be far away. Can it?

Sending back the auto-rewarded gps. I don't need to be paid for such a wonderful start to my day.

Daizy
70
70
Review of REPOSE  
Review by Daizy May
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, njames51 I like the flow of this poetry. It follows the river on it's journey. The rhyming is also flows nicely.
The poem ends with hope for the future. Poems that leave me depressed are hard to read and enjoy. You are realistic in that you realize life doesn't always give us what we want, yet you look for the best. It just might happen.

Good job!!
71
71
Review of Presence  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Wow, good job with this short story. It was a ghost story written in 100 words with no words repeated. I love the way you helped us empathize with the ghostly woman left behind in the house. The reader can sense her loneliness and need for comforting from those living there.

I am greatly impressed with your ability!!

Daizy Sp Sig
72
72
Review of Born in May  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi lamfrank Hope you are finding this a wonderful place to hang out.

I love poetry. This was a pleasure to read. The imagery is good. The subject matter touches the heart. The rhyme and rhythm are 'spot-on' Well, there was one spot where the rhythm flagged just a tad, but was hardly noticeable.

All in all, this is good poetry. Thanks for sharing it.

Daizy Sp Sig
73
73
Review of Pandora's Box  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Michael Schultz

Ooo. A short story of greed being rewarded by more greed. I was eager to get to the end of the story to see what was in the box.

I think that the story would have a little more interest if you would incude a description of the townspeople who bought the other items. For example, what did the lady look like who bought the beauty ointment? What disease prompted the gentlman to buy the healing tuft of hair? Why did the teenager want that glass eye which appeared to be watching the boy?

If you happen to add to this story, let me know. I'd like to read more.

Daizy Sp Sig
74
74
Review of Wiener Factory  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Michael This is a good, yucky, short story. I am not really into this type of story, but can appreciate when someone does a good job of writing one. You made this believable. I just hope that this is not possible.

Your dialogue is excellent. Your descriptions and imagery are excellent. The length is just right. It definitely deserves the five stars I awarded it.

Keep writing them and putting them out there for everyone to enjoy.

Daizy Sp Sig
75
75
Review of Nature's Voices  
Review by Daizy May
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Arakun the Twisted Raccoon , What a lovely poem! It has an 'old-timey' feel to it, kind of like one read from a children's book of poetry. At least it takes me back to my childhood days of reading poetry. Maybe it is more like the old "Leaves of Grass" poetry my mother used to keep on the coffee table.

Your imagery is classic.

The only thing that might enhance it a bit is a couple of commas. One after the first line and one after the seventh line.

Thanks for this poem. I'm sending back the auto-rewarded gps plus a few more. The pure enjoyment of this poems is worth that.

Daizy Sp Sig
512 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 21 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/daizy/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3