... ... three AUs off our ... ...
I would like to know what AU stands for. Sounds like distance. However, I can't gauge the distance from this context.

edits

... ... and replied, “enter.”
... ... and replied, “Enter.”

... ... in dismissal, “and ... ...
... ... in dismissal, “And ... ...

... ... mined, even ... ...
... ... mined. Even ... ...
... ... mined and even ... ...

... ... desert planets, provide fuel ... ...
... ... desert planets and provide fuel ... ...

Bilton's tone and temperament of Chapter Two is consistent with Chapter One.

... ... six gas giants ... ...
I'm assuming that the planets are of interest because gas indicates water?

“Let’s have her, Corporal.” ... ... bring me today?
Great description of the woman from the lab. She's a soldier yet looks more like a scientist due to her researching habits.

Also, this paragraph provides great insight into Bilton's concerns. He wants his troops to be battle ready and he is concerned that this woman soldier is getting soft and unfit for battle.

Bilton smiled at the last ... ...
Seems that Bilton knows that his team is strong but the opponent teams are equally strong. He seems confident that he will win or have the advantage due to knowledge or intel that the other side does not have.

[R10] Prompt-One - Reputation
Title of Chapter.

Hm... You left enough hints for me to know how the title was determined. R10 is Round 10.

However, I notice that all descriptions throughout the book and chapter one are geared towards describing the contest, not the story itself. I think you should aim to provide a little more detail about the story itself to entice the reader.

The title and description can be placed between the prompt DropNote and the first paragraph.

The short description is optional, but having a title will make it much easier to identify later. For example, a title such as Reputation is more memorable than R10 ... ... Reputation.



missing quotation marks
“err, yes Sir — M’lord, this one toeing the Lieutenants prone form fell and refused to get up when I urged him to move, this one interfered."

“err, yes Sir — M’lord, this one," toeing the Lieutenants prone form, "fell and refused to get up. When I urged him to move, this one interfered."

Seems that the quotes open for dialogue but missing the closing quotes. This may be a rough draft but made it harder to determine who was speaking. And when speech became action.

DropNotes
I love drop notes. The ones in your story are very discreet. I like the one at the upper right providing details about the prompt. I like the one at the bottom providing the word count. Perhaps I should steal the idea from you. Your presentation is cleaner than how my contest entries are organized.

“Why are you beating ... ...
I like how Bilton has high moral standards. Also, that it seems that his standards are the military's standard as well.

However, this chapter is brief and does not go deeply into the Sargent's character. Yet because he was the first character from the victor's side, I was surprised that Bilton and the Sargent's point of views differed so much.

Seemed that the timing was quite fortunate for the two war prisoners that Bilton was present when the Sargent began brutally beating them that I am not sure if more soldiers would be more like this Sargent than they would be like this Bilton.

They almost seem an unlikely team, like water and oil. I feel that they should not co exist in the same regiment.

I'm more likely to identify with the doctor who feels that the Sargent should have been stripped of his rank for this crime, although I admire Bilton's rationalizing that he could mold this Sargent into a better, more moral soldier.

... ... will have him flogged, ... ...
The military is physically brutal. I'm surprised that flogging is an acceptable form of punishment, especially when Bilton wants his troops to be more tolerant of honorable soldiers such as the war prisoners.

It's a little hard to see how one could teach respect by beating someone who cruelly beat the weaker. I can see how the flogging could actually strengthen the belief of might makes right, than to see the Sargent become a more moral soldier.

I feel that some background must be missing from this chapter. It's clear the Sargent cares more about rank than a beating. He's tough and survived beatings. He respects strength and is afraid of losing honor because in his mind, he earned the rank, but doesn't understand yet how rank and respect are related in the way Bilton perceives them. Otherwise, he'd not have been so openly beating the war prisoners.

But I was seeking contentment ... ...
The story's message is deep. I like how honest the man is about himself. It is a very sad story too.

I guess it is a common fear shared by many people when they think about giving up possessions. Although this one approaches abstinence from a different direction. The man is ready to give up his possessions but it turns out he is not yet ready in the sense that he had not really thought through the consequences. And I can't blame him. The supernatural consequence isn't really something one can research or find anyone to talk to about.

The Man Who Was Not Himself
Title.
Interesting title. Caught my attention in that I didn't know what that meant.

What do we really gain by giving away all our worldly possessions
Short Description.
Good question! I love hearing points made by different parties and this sounded like there could be a very in depth discussion. Had to investigate

Genres: Horror/Scary, Tragedy, Spiritual
I have to say, it fits all three genres very nicely

Horror.
I'd hate to be this guy to realize after it was too late to have not understood the reason one should give up worldly possessions. The really bad part of why this is so scary is that I'm sure I could have just as easily made such a mistake as he has. It's awful that he can't turn back and has to live out the rest of his life with the choice he thought would make him happy.

Tragedy.
It's one thing to give up something willingly. Quite another when he has to live with regret. And he was all alone in the end

Spiritual.
I like the part where the people of the cloth explained his mistake. They were not compassionate but they did get him to understand how foolish he was.

Only a man with no conscience ... ...
I think that this is a very telling statement about the man. I sense a lack of resilience or fight within the man.

I'm not sure why he was a successful person before. Not much is known except that he now has a new body and it's an extremely repulsive body.

Still he wasn't able to bounce back, I have to assume that he may have lost more than just a body, perhaps the ability to think, plan, or create. He seemed to debate well with the clergy, but it's hard to know what he was before he gave up his worldly possessions. There isn't enough information about the man to make a valid comparison.

Also, perhaps he has never known the difference between right and wrong.

Only a man with no conscience ... ...
I have nothing ... ...
Great statements. Well placed.
It was a little depressing to read, as more than a few points did hit home on my own thinking process. He meant well but ultimately paid dearly for not recognizing the right or wrongness when he decided to follow the meaning of his dream.

The Announcer once again shouted ... ...
Once the boys enter the tournament, the pace picked up. There was a sense of urgency.

marbles
Although their shapes were round, the scene provided an excellent equivalent of hand to hand combat among the characters while they were in their non human digital forms.

teams
I think there are four teams. Other than the mother and grandmother who appeared at the start of the story, the other characters seem pretty significant. The story would not work without these other characters.

James and Lucas
James and Lucas are the main characters.

I kept getting them confused with the other boys. I don't know if that's due to their names or perhaps the action was too hectic or there were too many significant characters that were introduced together.

Even though Zack and Ack rhymed, when they were separate, I automatically forgot that they were a pair. As a pair, they stood out, but when they were cast separately, I forgot whose team they belonged. In my first reading, Dexter, Zack, James, and Lucas all looked like they could have been the two brothers James and Lucas.

Namewise, they are non distinct. And once they transform, they seem to lose all individuality.

Perhaps provide more background history for the characters. Perhaps add more unique identifiers like the number 42.7.

I also had trouble visualizing the action.
Perhaps slow down the action by stretching the scene out.

For example, right after a collision but before the characters are forcefully catapulted, perhaps stretch out the scene by having the character share what is going through his mind at the moment of impact.

42.7
This was cute. Especially when Zack stuck to it and tried to defend that number to the very end.

... ... Onto who I believe will have ... ...
Tulip and Lila
I liked the pink girls. It was sad to see them wash out the way they did.

The girls described each other as "... ... waiting to crush every one ... ..." and "... ... get a little carried away in the competition ... ..." which gave me the impression that they were very confident in their ability to control their environment.

So when they lost the game due to not giving themselves enough time to get ready, I was shocked because it didn't seem to fit with their natures.

If possible, before they wash out, maybe add a scene where they show no control over themselves or their environment. The siblings of other teams have their squabbles but Tulip and Lila seemed to have each other's backs. I don't recall any infighting. They appear to have a very harmonious relationship. Even when washing out, there was no blame.

Or suggest more strongly that makeup was their kryptonite.


... ... hit a wall, and ... ...
When Tulip hit the wall, I actually went ouch at this scene

... ... and sliced off ... ...
ASR?

I would feel better with ASR rating instead of E due to the slicing and the post game pain that may have been due to the slicing.

The depth of the injury isn't clear but there does seem to be a seriousness around the perceived imaginary injury. One of the questions in my mind is, will the condition worsen later? Not to mention, throughout the story, the Announcer warns and insinuates the dangers of playing the game (eg the contestants could have exploded).


... ... What abut it? ... ...
... ... What about it? ... ...

... ... even tough he was ... ...
... ... even though he was ... ...

... ... I see see you all ... ...
... ... I see you all ... ...

... ... suppose we will move onto picking ... ...
... ... suppose we will move on to picking ... ...

... ... Getting yourself out that pit is ... ...
... ... Getting yourself out of that pit is ... ...

Military History of the 1980s
Title is helpful.

I don't remember the 80s well, but after doing research, I do recall some of the turmoil that went on at that time.

A short quiz about wars and rumors of wars in the 1980s
Short Description.

Short description solidifies the theme of the title.

I like that it states rumors as well as wars. That helps to know that rumors may have been a deciding factor as to the selection of the events that made it into the quiz.

When I tackled the questions, I focused more on recorded history.

10 Questions
Ten questions is a good number.

They covered different countries so there's a global feeling by the time I reach the last question.

The 80s was a big era. After taking the quiz, I read up on the decade, and it does mention events that were more prevalent in my memories such as Tiananmen Square of 1989 (Wikipedia)  .

Since I am not familiar with American or Military or International History, if there was stronger American involvement for events within the quiz, perhaps include American or United States within the Title or Short Description to narrow the scope further.


Sachen Glacier
Siachen Glacier
Per Wikipedia, Siachen, however, it may very well have different spellings that are correct.


Sachen Glacier
Siachen Glacier

was he biggest conventional battle
was the biggest conventional battle

Forces in Aoril 1984 during
Forces in April 1984 during

storm hijacked
storm hijack

Story followed by Stream of Consciousness
Romantic Love versus What is Real Love?

It starts out with a story. A little dark. A little sinister.

When it leads into dissecting the definition of love portion, I got a little lost. I'm not quite sure what some of the statements are actually saying.

Spacing
The story in and of itself is strong and held my attention. There was suspense. The transition to the stream of consciousness seemed to work, but once the stream started, the messages got garbled.

Has God, by first loving us, delegated us such power?
I could not connect to the ending.

Some of the ideas are difficult to follow due to my not having a proper context to help my understanding. I am not familiar with which interpretation of the bible is being addressed here.

What if love crowds out, or extinguishes, the ability to simply be selfish? ... ...

I think this paragraph needs to break into 2 or 3 paragraphs. There are some interesting points but the ones in the middle are getting lost.


... ... the power control him, to ... ...
... ... the power to control him, to ... ...

... ... hands, wacked the Goliath ... ...
... ... hands, whacked the Goliath ... ...

If she’d listen him when ... ...
If she’d listen to him when ... ...

... ... any way that that we ... ...
... ... any way that we ... ...

Empathy
I saw the title and wanted to know more

A story gone all stream-of-consciousness on thinking about a piano
Interesting Short Description. I find myself thinking about the piano.

I noticed that there is no piano in the story. Not sure how the piano inspired this piece. I assume the mention of the piano is more a reminder to self than a summary or a hook.

She would never find anyone who’d ... ... would be jealous for her.
Pretty compelling picture of what her heart desires.

If what has touched us is only one of those substitutes, that “love” is something ... ... might tell herself, this is not love.

Are you saying that what the woman feels is not really love for the man, but something similar enough that she mistakes it for love? It's confusing because in the story part, she believes she is in love, yet, this paragraph appears to be saying that she only thinks she has found love.

A woman who sees love in the form of a man ... ... might tell herself, this is not love.
What if by loving people we free them?
What if by loving we enable them to love?
... ... once we’ve been loved and known it, we cannot go back ... ...
I like these points. Very deep.