I liked this poem, although I thought it was a bit too short. I would've definitely enjoyed it more had it been longer. Out of the many poems on this topic that I run into quite frequently, this was pretty average. However, it did have some great emotional feeling.
Very interesting story. I do have a few opinions to share though. First, is this it? It feels like just a preview/opening of a much larger work. Second, I was sort of lost about the relevance of summoning all of the princess of hell. Third, hell should not be capitalized. It sounds contradictory as it is a proper noun, but look in the Bible and you won't ever find it capitalized at the beginning of the sentence. Lastly, you made a reference to Eve having eternal life. She ate from the tree of good and evil, not the tree of life. That's why she was banished, so she couldn't.
I enjoyed this as a thoughtful poem that honored those who supported and helped you in your early days here on writing.com. the rhyming and prose was pretty good. I also noticed Schnujo is Late to Lannister was on your list. He has helped me out a great deal as well. I don't think I would have stayed if it weren't for him.
Oh my goodness! Everything about this made me smile! First of I need to explain that I've been a die hard fan of Edgar Allen Poe since I first read "The Pit and the Pendulum". The title immediately told me it was about one of his works and I quickly caught on to the reference of his most famous work/poem "The Raven". Unlike most others, you didn't reword or spin off the poem, but rather made it your own in a way that it fit into the original poem while keeping to the true macabre spirit in Poe's work. It was absolutely fabulously fantastic in every way possible!
I would have given a 5.0, but you need to correct "decrease your territories" to "increase". I did love how you chose the prayer of Jabez, which I feel is often overlooked in the Old Testament. I also enjoyed the biblical message overall. It is indeed "turned right side in."
Interesting three poems. I'm not sure, but shouldn't the third title start with the word "If", not "Id"? Also, was the second poem's second line supposed to read as "mell" instead of using the word "smell" again? In the first poem, I loved the cheekiness of the last line.
It's tough to lose a friendship or maybe something more regardless of the reason. This especially hits home for me as it has been about 15 years since I lost my closest friend I ever had and in some ways it still hurts. The poem was decent with feeling.
Beautiful! I enjoyed the prose, poetry, wordplay, and the word coloring on selected words. I loved the theme of being an author on writing.com. I can't help but wonder though why you put a 13+ on what I see as an E rated work. Otherwise, a 5.0 rating work.
I am always touched by Haiku. Yours was definitely different from most others I've seen. There is just something about the fog from the kids eyes that grabs my attention. Just like other Haiku, yours was beautiful in it's own unique way. I enjoyed it!
This was a very interesting read. I liked this unique perspective on hope. I loved how you went from bigger than life, fictitious heroes to pointing out that we can be just as courageous by making the decision to improve ourselves in little ways in daily, routine, and more mundane real life.
Nice, catchy rhyming! I'd feel the same way even if I was in appropriate attire! I never saw the show and I never want to, but I knew the premise. I can't help but wonder how they avoid lawsuits and couldn't they at least provide loincloths? *shudder*
So many great things to say about this! First, the silly nonsense was infectious. Second the humor was impeccable, especially the end (both the matches and adding to the resume). Last, but not least, it had a dragon in it doing it's own thing. I get so tired of the monster and human/dragon bond stereotypes.
I don't know why, but after over 100 random "read and review" this is the first writing I've seen that is historical, but not about an event. It was very interesting to read about how paints were made in the ancient times. I knew some of the things like charcoal and dirt, but onion peels?! I learned a lot. Thanks for the class!
I'm rating this as really average. First, I'm not even sure what the subject is. A good poem should either tell a story, express feelings, or at least have a core theme. It did have a character, setting, and something happening, but I felt it didn't deliver anything with a point to it.
I adored it! There's childhood Christmas nostalgia of a simpler time (before the holiday commercialization), but I loved how it was a cherished memory of a child with their Dad. the rhyming was really good too. Everyone needs to sit down with smores watching Bugs Bunny on a white Christmas! I'm just surprised there was no mention of hot coco with marshmallows.
A loving rendition of the pure animal love and spirit we can find around us. Just like Dr. Doolittle (original) I believe we can learn a lot from our animal friends when it comes to not even acknowledging such trivial things like one is a horse and the other is a dog. We are all wonderfully made living creatures that share the same feelings of despair, loneliness, friendship, love, contentment, etc. If a horse and dog can be friends, why do we humans display such hatred and destruction among our own kind?
Great poem with a great message! It rings true and feels just right. I'm a little surprised this was in traditional rhyme, but that might be just me after randomly reviewing many other types of poems and prose. It just goes to show that with any skill, practice makes perfect!
We all need to be thankful for those that support us. Back when Discord was possible I had true blue friends who really cared about my well being. I understand how controlling people can be frustrating. My parents are so controlling, that they literally made every site/app impossible for me to access. Writing.com is all I have left since it's the only site that works properly on my non-smart phone's Opera Mini browser. Enough about my troubles though. Let's be thankful to WDC together!
Interesting item. I'm a perfectionist so I get the need to top every hill/mountain in my life. I loved the line you used "in the days of our Fathers" as a central, repeating verse. Nothing very special to the average reader, but I could tell it was to you and that's what counts.
These are some great and wonderful memories of your childhood. I'm quite surprised just how much and how well you remembered it all! These events must have meant a lot to you. I enjoyed reading this. It reminds me of a modern, suburban version of "The Little House on the Prairie."
As a former owner of the best black lab (Duke) who never barked and hated to get wet, this hits very close to home. It's a well written real life story just as you would find in the Guidepost animal books. Thank you for sharing your memories of Lucky!
A wonderful poem honoring the troops of not just America, but all nations. In my family almost every guy for three generations were or are in the armed forces so I'm always pleased to come across content like this. Thanks for honoring them!
It's a decent story. You did an efficient job of letting the reader know the character's personalities. You also quite quickly established what was going on. Lastly, you ended with a satisfying solution that was interesting despite it's simplicity. I loved the sudden appearance of the third sibling as a big brother who takes care of everything and the young brother giving his pie for the considerate silence.
A bit to work on. For starters it is hard to read when all the sentences are so short. Also, put some detail and emotion into it. The guy is mugged and almost nothing is given to express the pain he must feel or the emotional anger. I will say that the ending was spot on in concept if not in execution.
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