Hallo und guten abend! Ich bin Jessica and I'll be reviewing The Terrorists Within.
First Impressions:
I agree with you 100%-- we all need to learn to work together for the greater good of our future. If we learned how to do that instead of attacking our opponents, I think our country would be in much better shape. I'm glad this piece made op-ed; you have a clear argument, you give many examples to support your argument and it's not over the top. You did a nice job with this piece.
Mechanics:
Please remember these are only MY opinions.
>>I’ve read Barack Obama’s books, not out of blind loyalty to a man whose words resonated with me, but out of curiosity about the man behind those words. I’d read a couple of excerpts of one of his books, and Joe Biden was right – Obama is incredibly articulate. In his first book, Dreams from My Father, Obama talked about his early life, and his search for self which led him to learn as much as he could about his estranged father. In his second book, The Audacity of Hope, he outlined his political and social beliefs in self-effacing and brutally honest terms. He acknowledged his shortcomings, but made no excuses. His words paint a picture of an America that is fair, civil, strong and prosperous, and country and society that all Americans can be even more proud of.<<
I’ve read Barack Obama’s books, not out of blind loyalty to a man whose words resonated with me, but out of curiosity about the man behind those words. I’d read a couple of excerpts of one of his books, and Joe Biden was right – Obama is incredibly articulate. In his first book, Dreams from My Father, Obama talked about his early life, and his search for self which led him to learn as much as he could about his estranged father. In his second book, The Audacity of Hope, he outlined his political and social beliefs in self-effacing and brutally honest terms. He acknowledged his shortcomings, but made no excuses. His words paint a picture of an America that is fair, civil, strong and prosperous, and country and society that all Americans can be even more proud of.
Other than that, it looks fine. However, it wouldn't hurt to proofread again to make sure you have said all you wanted to say.
Rating:
****
Final Thoughts:
Nicely done! Keep up the good work and write on!
Guten tag! |
|