Hi there Yellowrose!

Invisible is a beautiful piece which character was neglected, abandoned, ignored by many. Here you expressed a feeling of emptiness, as if he [the speaker on your piexe] didn't exist, he weren't there, nobody cared for him, that he was invisible. The character felt as if the world hated him that much. And yes, I too, sometimes felt the same. It's too much pain to be in such situation.

I loved the beautiful rhyming and the smooth flow of lines. The way it was presented was clean and nice. Imagery was visual.

Emotion revealed was sad and lonely.

Overall, great write! Thanks for sharing this Yellowroses! Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic

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Greetings Mallory!

Welcome to writing.com!

I especially visited your portfolio to find items to read and review. And yes, I got your first write for Writing.com. After reading your piece, wow I can say that you have a blood of a great writer. This piece might be fresh in here, however, with the beauty it bears, this was like written by a pro.

Bare, being its title was a great choice. Short word of four letters but this, said it all. This provided a quick snapshot to the entire piece. This has an awesome drag, pulling readers to read on. Keep it up!

Your piece tells what a writer is. What they do, and why they write. "What's the reason for writing?" was the hidden interrogation that you carefully uncovered as your pen crafted every line of your piece. You beautifully exposed the reason behind this. You etched into our minds that writing is the writer's voice. Maybe silent, but the meaning/message/emotions we wanted to expressed are real unfathomable. We write to inspire, to utter our heart's voices, to touch everyone's heart and move them in any way. The pieces we produced are means to expressed the things we could never say. And these you expressly stated in your poem.

I found no grammatical flaw with grammars and spelling. Punctuation was properly applied. I love the rhyming of the piece except the first stanza that you failed to rhyme. Emotion was well expressed. Imagery was vivid and visual.

Overall, great write! Thank you for sharing this Mallory! Welcome and Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Ida Matilda!

What is that Prompt is a humorous and sometime true. We can't ignore the fact that sometime the power of forgetfulness defeats us. Though it's just a small thing, when it's because you misplaced or forgot it, to a frantic search you would fall.

I liked the way you wrote this poem. It talked about forgetful and a prompt being forgotten was about forgetful too. That made your piece beautiful.

While I found no grammatical flaw, a typographical error was detected. On the part fist stanza, ward must be word. It matters most since it changed the thought.

All else was great, Imagery is clear.

I enjoyed my reading Ida. Thanks for sharing abd keep writing.

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Scythe!

This is indeed a horrific piece with a well drawn imagery. I can see how your head fell after being ripped. What I understood with this piece was that you were afraid, frightened in the midst of darkness. You were afraid to die but death took you.

I enjoyed reading this piece though it brought me much goosebumps. Thanks for sharing! Write on!


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Gervic

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Hi there Ink Imp!

Tumble is a beautiful poem teaching lessons to its readers. Why do I alwasys slip and fall? you asked, everybody's question. Mistakes, failure, falling back, tumbling diwn is part of life's struggle towards success, winning and fame. It doesn't mean one is too careless, negligent because of frequent failing. Instead, it's a test on how well you cope up, how you stand proud, how you move on and how strong you are to proceed and contunue the battle you once started.

I learned a lot from this piece. Thanks for sharing Ink Imp. Happy Account Anniversary and Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there BigGrin!

Why Smile? has the awesome charisma that drags me to read this beautiful piece. In few simple words, you perfectly defined the goodness of smiling and you emphasized how it brightens everyone's day. Smile is a gift that given for gratis. It is something that's too valuable, a precious gift to bestow yet costs you not a single centavo.

I considered this as an AABB rhyming poem and you sucessfully made it with a liquid flow. However, there seemed to be an inconsistent rhyming on the part third stanza. That is, qualities won't rhyme with leaves.

Anyway, I enjoyed my reading. Thanks for the share BigGrin! Happy Account Anniversary and Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Shaara!

This is indeed fantastic! You brought me into the world of fantasy as I was reading your piece. I do agree with you, many believed that fanasyland is too far, unreal, a mind's creation. But we can find our our own fantasyland on places we feel comfortable, serene, and peaceful. Fantasyland doesn't actually mean dragons, fairies, magic and some enchanted creatures. Fantasy lives within our hearts.

I love the consistent AABB rhyme scheme. Flow is as smooth as silk. I found no flaw with grammars and punctuation and spelling. The words you carefully gathered creates a piece perfect for a read.

You are one of the talented writers Shaara. I enjoyed reading this piece. Keep writing and continue to inspire readers. Happy Account Anniversary! Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Squeekachu!

Reflections is a beautiful poem expressing your sentiments about life. Your seems hopeless, worried to what future brings. You were desperate and felt so down, weak for your fraught load, for the burden you were bearing.

I love how you give life nature and compare yourself to it. That's an excellent personification. The imagery is awesome, clear to every reader's mind. The rhyming is in perfect ABAB FORMAT. Lines smoothly flow. No found grammatical flaw, but a typo error was detected. On the second stanza, third line:

What time is it, I think I know
It's time the sun sank down below
And we as the mountains, stand high
To drown beneath this falling snow.

Do you mean, "As well as the mountains, stand high" or "And we are the mountains, stand high"?

Anyway, this is a great poem! Thanks for sharing. Write on! Happy Account Anniversary!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there Bill Kinahan!

Nightmare is a beautiful poem that portrays your fears from the past, when you were still a child. You were haunted by the memories of your past. You did try to forget and left iy behind, still, it shows up on your dream, a nightmare. You ready yourself for death.

You subtly expressed your frightened emotion here. Imagery is fine. I found no errors in grammars. I like the smooth flow of each line. You perfectly rhyme this piece in ABAB FORMAT.

Overall, this is a great write. Thanks for sharing. Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

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Hi there justanotherpoethero!

A Beautiful Day for a Wedding is a beautiful manifestation of how powerful love is. Despite the tremendous pain one may feel, he's willing to sacrifice and give up just to see her, happy on the arms of his rival. But what could true love bring? One should not feel such pain! Why is it that you need to give up instead of fighting to get what should be yours. Well, in this piece you explained to me that love is unselfish. Setting her free would be the toughest yet best decision ever made if you truly love the person.

I love the picture you have drawn. The ceremony was vivid and I can feel the mix emotions. I'm proud of the main character, the best man. He shouldn't have come nor be part of their happy moment but a lament to him. He should have run away. Instead, he dare witness their binding, see how he lost her. I liked how he managed to warn the groom.

The way you presented this piece was great. The meaning and emotions you revealed were true. I found no flaws with grammars and spelling. Title is kind of alluring. Keep it!

The content contains swearing words that I guess not suitable for most 13+ readers, therefore, a change of content rating should be done, i.e 18+

My suggestion though. Anyway, I enjoyed my reading. Thanks for the share! Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic
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Hi there Phyduex!

A Stranger's Gift is a beautiful piece giving tribute, value to the one who gave you one more chance to live. The one whom you didn't even know by chance - a complete stranger. You know what, my tears fell down as I found out what gift she bestowed on you. A gift more than special, a gift that is too hard to give, a gift that'll cost the giver's life once bequeathed. I don't know what adjective to associate with such kind of gift. It's more than precious, more than any beautiful words could ever describe. You perfectly word that this is a gift never been bestowed by any of your kin, any of your friend. And I know, right now she's happy watching over you, heeding and caring her heart.

Actually, I'm all carried away with the emotion so sincere. I can no longer pinpoint what flaws this piece has. What is important to me is how this piece moves me. I salute your stranger gifter for sacrificing her life just to give you more days to live. Take good care of her heart. Fill it with love and joys. Live yout days full of love and laughter.

Thank you for this wonderful read Phyduex! Happy Account Anniversay!

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Gervic
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Hi there Jeffrey!

Gathering Clouds is a beautiful piece portraying the happy days of a father and a daughter together. Gathering Clouds, I recall, was one of the things, beautiful things we did with my sister. We laid on grasses, often wet, and we' both survied the entire sky with hopes to find our days formation. That time, I considered a happy times for our childhood memories. And I miss and long that very day.

I can relate to this piece so much. You are as if writing it for me. I love the imagery. You clearly paints the picture in my mind. I can see every detail of it. I can see how amazed, how happy his daughter is for having found that rhino head. I can see how the father resisted the pain on his back so as not to spoil his daughter's happiness. I can see them taking its perfect photo for a beautiful addition to their collection. I can hear their prayers, and I can feel the longing of the father to gather clouds again with her on the part end.

This story inspires me. You don't know how much you moved me with your words. I too, am longing to get a chance to take glance to the heaven with my sister. And I hope this will happen just one time and I'd be happy. You relive my childhood days and this brought my tears to fall.

This was a great write of pure love. Everything is perfect. I love every word of it. Thanks for sharing Jeffrey! You're awesome!

Teary eyes,
Gervic

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Hi there Sarah!

So Alone is a piece describing how you felt for losing your dearest sister, especially in your times of need. I can feel your longing for her to come back. You're sad and nobody came to comfort, to lend a shoulder for you to cry on, to say it's gonna be alright. How sad you were in. I can see you crying, and that crample my heart. The essence of a true friend is especially revealed and given emphasis with this write.

I like you style of starting with some questions and then answer them on the following stanzas. Imagery is great. I found no flaws with grammar and spelling. I detected a little typo in line "No one to lend a ear". Should be "an ear". Other than this, perfect.

Overall, I enjoy my read. Thanks for sharing. Write on!


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Gervic
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Hi there Grace!

Never Alone is a great manifestation that someone did care, someone listens and hears your every cry, someone who's there to guide youre lost and lift you up whenever you're down. And that someone is God. He never leaves nor quit on loving us, heeding us each and every single day of our lives. Even if we tried to avoid or ignore Him, still His welcoming hands are wide open for us.

Love this lyric. I'm actually making my own tune as I read through. The words are simple but meaning is deep and very true. Rhyming is just fine. Not a flaw detected in grammars and spelling.

Overall, great reat for this great write. Thanks Grace for the share. Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic
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Hi there Alexis!

A Blurred Vission is definitely a humorous piece. I was laughing throughout the entire piece. Sorry for the pity old woman, I just can't hold it . Anyways, this piece is based on the fact that we can never ignore. We, too will come across that stage where our sights fade, our vission get blur. We too, will tumble down even on a rough floor. I can't imagine how how merciful I would be to experience the same.

You beatifully narrated the old woman's misfortune [is misfortune the right word?] Imagery is awesome. No glaws found. Everything is great.

I actually enjoyed my read. Thanks Alexis for sharing this. Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic
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