*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gervic/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9
Review Requests: ON
599 Public Reviews Given
620 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
My reviewing style varies. I may do a little edit if possible or pinpoint what I think is incorrect. My review is merely base on what I feel about your piece. If I enjoy it, I say it. If not, I tell you why I'm not. I often do reviews on all Poetry Items- regardless of the genres, styles and the way it was written. However if you like, you can request a short story, chapter not the entire book or novel, articles and essays, etc. 2023 Quill Nominee
I'm good at...
Titles. You may ask for a better catchy titles for your piece. Rhyming for most poetry. I'll be reading your piece aloud and hear if consistent rhyming takes place. Emotions. I'm greatly affected on the emotions your piece may reveal.
Favorite Genres
All but Nature, Love/Romance, Dark/Horror and Inspirational are on top of my list.
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Story, Articles and Essays. Blogs also.
I will not review...
The entire book or novel. Don't have more time to read. Maybe soon.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 5 6 7 8 -9- 10 11 12 13 ... Next
201
201
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Poetry Review Sig 1
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings Gustav Flint !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Overview:
This is a review in response to your request via the Request a Review utility. I am not that expert in poetry but I'll do my best to give you an in-depth review. Before I'll start, I'd like to thank you for choosing me as one of your reviewers. I am so honored and I felt so flattered on that message that came with your request. Thank you so much. I hope that you'll find this review (opinion) useful.


Title:
         Sorrow is a good choice of title. It's just one word but will certainly tell a lot depending on how the story of the writer goes. This is a negative emotion that everyone will feel for having lost someone (a loved one, family perhaps, or friends, relatives, pets, or significant other). With this title "Sorrow", thoughts will start to form in the readers' mind and will definitely tickle their interests to find out why the title goes this way. Good choice.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
         The emotion is intense. It is so sad when we lost someone we dearly love. In here, what I understood, the writer expresses his utmost grief that today his loved one already lies in the grave and tomorrow (or in the future) they will meet and be together in the same field.

         In addition, the writer emphasizes that the young generations must have confidence and courage to face the challenges of the world before it's too late for them to do so. The youth must be bold right now (neither tomorrow nor the following day, but today) because they can never tell the time for them to leave the world as well. Time fleets in haste and they have to do great deeds to make the world a better place to live in. Youth, as the adage says, are the hope of the world; thus, they must act accordingly to heal the world.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
         This is a free verse with some occasional rhyming words like the words, "field" and "wield", "field" and "yield", "old" and "bold", "tomorrow" and "sorrow". I won't say that you are following a set rhyme scheme for this because some lines of kind of off rhyme. The repetitive use of "Today and tomorrow" to start each stanza is good. It creates impact and emphasis to it.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
         


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
         I detected one typo error. "theres" must be "there's" in the thirteenth line.


Favorite Lines:
Today, not tomorrow
We gather in the field
to express our sorrow
for the world they must heal.


Suggestions:
         
I would suggest to remove comma (,) after "Today" to give it a smooth reading. Having this, reading it will have a sudden pause.

Remove comma (,) after "To express".

Add the article "the" before "fields" in second line.

"...lay there, barren" used — instead, as in "...lay there — barren"


I would prefer if you present this in couplet, as in:

Today and tomorrow
We gather in (the) fields
To express our distaste
For the world we must wield.

Today and tomorrow
We fill those same fields
To pretend, now that we're here
The horrors will yield.

Today and tomorrow
No one fills the fields
And as they lay there — barren
The world never heals.

Today, there's no tomorrow
We're simply too old
So now, we tell the young ones
That they must be bold.

Today, not tomorrow
We gather in the field
To express our sorrow
For the world they must heal.


Final Thought:
         This is a good piece. I enjoyed reading this and I am wanting to reading more from you. Thank you for sharing and Write on!


Reviewed by:
GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
202
202
Review of The legends  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Evie 🏳️‍🌈 write&blog

*InfoR*DISCLAIMER:*InfoR*

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen and thus, do not reflect necessarily to the group affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the said reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to weigh and consider to whether take this as corrective actions or not.

*BurstP*OVERVIEW:*BurstP*

I found your flash fiction on the Read & Review corner of this site. I enjoyed reading it and hope you find this feedback useful.

*BurstP*TITLE:*BurstP*

The title is quite enticing. The Legends suggests that the story will tackle something about the 'past', 'history perhaps?', or some sort of magical tale from long time ago. Very intriguing.

*BurstP*THE CONTENT:*BurstP*


         *PoseyR*PLOT:*PoseyR*
This has something to do with a character whose destiny is to sacrifice himself for the sake of the people around.

         *PoseyR*CHARACTERS:*PoseyR*
-

         *PoseyR*SETTING:*PoseyR*
The setting could be in a secluded place where mist linger. It was during the birthday of the character which perhaps the day when his destiny has to happen. This day could be his end or he might bring danger to everyone.

         *PoseyR*DESCRIPTION:*PoseyR*
It's all good. In just a few dialog, you were able to tell the character's story.

         *PoseyR*EMOTION:*PoseyR*
It's sad. The character is supposedly celebrating for his birthday yet he has to go because of his dark fate.

         *PoseyR*FAVORITE LINE(S):*PoseyR*
Every word.

*BurstP*SUGGESTED IMPROVEMENT:*BurstP*

None.

*BurstP*OVERALL IMPRESSION:*BurstP*

This is a great piece. A worth to read flash fiction. Thanks for sharing and keep on writing.


Reviewed by:



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
203
203
Review of INDIFFERENCE  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Poetry Review Sig 1
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings Dr M C Gupta !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Overview:
Your poem was the second one to appear on the Read and Review corner of the site. I thought of giving this a read, 'cause why not? And so this review.


Title:
         Indifference is a good choice of title. It's catchy and would surely keeps the readers' interest to find out how the piece goes and how you would portray something about this 'somehow' negative word.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
         This is a beautiful piece of poetry. I can feel how deeply in love you are with this maid. I like the way you tell the story starting from the time you first met her, to the moment you feel the love, and to the time you felt dismayed due to her lack of interest. And then you wondered. Then you felt regrets for having met her.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
         The rhyming scheme is in ABCB scheme and I can say that you did well in executing this except on the second stanza where "sweet" and "indeed" is kind of off rhyme. Oh, and I love the way you executed the figure of speech in here. The use of simile and metaphor is excellent, as in:

She smiled like a pretty rose,
Her voice was music sweet;
Her beauty was radiant,
Glance, bewitching indeed.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
         Imagery is executed well.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
         Non detected.


Favorite Lines:
Radiance has become heat,
The glance is full of scorn;
I don’t know why, when and how,
Indifference was born.


Suggestions:
         You could use something like the word "feat" instead of "indeed", as in:

She smiled like a pretty rose,
Her voice was music sweet;
Her beauty was radiant,
Glance, bewitching feat.


Final Thought:
         A great poem indeed. I could read more of this. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing!


Reviewed by:
GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
204
204
Review of Goat  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Words Whirling 'Round!

Your poem appeared through the Read & Review section of my page and after reading it, I decided to leave my feedback.

The title "Goat" is good but we can make it better. Perhaps using Cloven Hooves as the title. That way, readers would wonder what the piece is all about and would certainly open up the item for a read. Your current title, which is "Goat" already gives readers that this Haiku tackles about goat and I think the excitement and their interest to read isn't that much. Just an opinion though.

I love how you word this Haiku! The imagery is vivid. I could see how the goat approach you with its limpid eyes. In here, the goat was hungry and approached its owner for food. How lovely the scene is!

This was a well-written Haiku and I wish to read more Haikus from you. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece. Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
205
205
Review of END THE VIOLENCE  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Poetry Review Garden Sig3
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings Katishii !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


Overview:
This review is in response to your Review Request. I'd like to thank you for choosing me as one of your reviewers of this piece. The details you added with your request was what urged me to read and give your piece a review. Before I will lay out my thoughts about your magnificent writing, I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome you to Writing.com! I am happy to see you here and started sharing your piece of art.


Title:
         END THE VIOLENCE is something! It has this awesome drag that tickles reader's curiosity. We are surrounded with violence. It's growing and needs to be ended. Good job in choosing your title.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
          I love the way how your writing goes. Every word and every line tells us something. The use of short and succinct lines make this piece easy to read. The meaning it conveys put me to ponder about life, about improper governance, the wrong doings of people, and how to end it all. I agree with you that it is indeed the time to end the cycle of pain. We have to live in peace and harmony - life free from harm, from inequality, from bullies and violence. Without these, life would be perfect and worth living. Thank you for the wonderful message.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
         I love the perfect AAAAAAAAAAAA-BBBBBBBBBBBBB rhyming scheme. How did you do that? I'm impressed.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
         Imagery is awesome! I can't see any vagueness of words you used here. I received the message from your writing clear as crystals and it's great.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
         There seems to be something wrong with these lines:

In line, "Sometimes I feel like the world[s] got us all secretly restrained", world with no s.

In line, "Like everything we have to feel we[']re forced to contain", we're.

In line, "The lives of everyone [everywhere have] aren’t meaningless or a game" I'd rather drop everywhere have to just give emphasis on the life of everyone.

In line, "What do we [as people] really stand to gain", I think as people is not necessary.

In line, "When If we all work together there is so much more we can attain", I think it's better to use If.

In line, "Things don’t have to be as bad as our leaders claim" you forgot to add apostrophe on leader's claim.

In line, "Some leaders [just trying to] only hold onto their own money, power, and fame", I think its best to drop just trying to and replace it with only hold onto.

In line, "Each of us [is] facing our own trouble and endgames", add is.

In line, "It's time to come together and stop hurting those who are different from each other with public shame", this is quite lengthy. Try, "It's time to gather to stop violence and public shame."

In line, "That happy feeling [of] something we all now occasionally have to feign".

All else is perfect!


Favorite Lines:
Every word. It's a beautifully written piece worthy for an award.


Suggestions:
         I'd like to suggest the following:

Every day I wonder if people are [still] sane
Doing [They do] things that are hard to explain

Also, it would be better if you put punctuation marks and have these written in quatrain.
Please allow me to rewrite your piece with punctuation marks and the suggestions/corrections above.


Every day I wonder if people are still sane,
They do things that are hard to explain.
Sometimes, I feel like the world got us all secretly restrained
Like everything we have to feel we're forced to contain.

Until our futures have already been planned and ordained
That happy feeling of something we all now occasionally have to feign
To hide the sadness in our hearts and brains
Everywhere I look people’s souls have started to wane.

How much of this inhumanity must we all sustain?
What do we really stand to gain?
If we all work together there is so much more we can attain.
It’s time to end this cycle of pain.

(Brief Pause)

It’s never the time to place hate or blame,
Otherwise everywhere the world will go up in flame.
The lives of everyone aren’t meaningless or a game,
Peace and harmony between all should always be our aim.

Things don’t have to be as bad as our leader's claim.
Some leaders only hold onto their own money, power, and fame.
This vicious bloody cycle that divides us all is lame,
Repeated throughout history by countless names.

Each of us is facing our own trouble and endgames,
It's time to gather to stop violence and public shame.
Those are things that by now we should have all overcame.
FOR WE ARE ALL HUMAN, ONE, AND THE SAME.


Final Thought:
         This is a magnificent piece, I tell you. The message is powerful. It's one of a kind piece that everyone must read. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review this piece. I enjoyed doing it and I hope to see more writings from you. Keep your creative juice flowing and keep inspiring others. Write on!


Reviewed by:
GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
206
206
Review of Yashoda  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Poetry Review Garden Banner
IN AFFILIATION WITH:
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


Greetings Vaishali !

Disclaimer:

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Grass Line Divider


Overview:
Your poem was listed under the VIP section of "Poetry Review Garden [on hiatus] and I'm here to deliver to you my review.


Title:
         "Yashoda" at a first glance, is vague to me. I'm not sure what or who Yashoda is. Perhaps one of the Indian goddesses? That's my guess though after I checked on the cover image. Good thing you added a note at the bottom of your piece telling something about who Yashoda is. That's a great way to do to introduce the character of your masterpiece most especially when a writer tackles about entities specific to his/her country of origin.


Overall Impression/Emotional Impact:
         This is exceptional! The way Yashoda portrayed herself being a great mother, a wonderful wife to her husband, and a responsible leader of the community proves to me that the capacity of a woman to do things (great things) is beyond how I imagined them to be. Most people say that women are just a mere housewife who prepare the meals, take care of their children and do household chores without thinking that these daily tasks they are obliged to accomplish are way harder than what the men's works are. After reading this piece I realized that women can do what men can do and they (most of the time) do it better.

         The part where you said she has to handle her son while doing tasks brought my eyes into tears. This reminded me of my mother. Back then, I used to witness her carry my youngest sister while cooking our meal and then wash the dishes.


Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:
         You did well in writing this structured poem. The format is good. The meter seems off as you didn't follow a certain syllabic count though. It rhymes pretty well in ABAC rhyme scheme but I found one stanza where rhyming seems offbeat. I tried reading it aloud multiple times but it appeared to me that "SHOW" and "BOW" don't rhyme. Bow, in this sense means to bend over someone to show sign of respect and honor and is read as /baʊ/. The other "BOW" that rhymes with "SHOW" [/SHō/] means a weapon for shooting arrows, typically made of a curved piece of wood whose ends are joined by a taut string and is read as /bō/. Other than that, it's good.


Artistic Voice and Imagery:
         Imagery is superb. The way you described Yashoda in your piece is great. It is clear in every statement and in every line of your piece what Yashoda does, what she's capable of and how brave and strong she is.


Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:
         It's fine. You also added a note stating that you are not a native English speaker but you did well in this piece. That's in my perspective. I am not a native English speaker as well and in fact it is my third spoken language.

         Though I found this line a little off "Like this she daily encounters such innocent show", I can still understand the message of it. I have a suggestion for this below. Oh and curiousity should be spelled "curiosity". Home made should be "Home-made".


Favorite Lines:
         I was so touched with these lines. And as I mentioned, this made me cry.

She has to handle her son while doing daily tasks
And raise her other elder son, Balram.
She once out of curiousity asks,
"O my dear son Kanha, when will you mend your ways?"


Suggestions:
         Please take a moment to read my suggestions:



She is also the lady village head so she conducts [I think this is not necessary]

For she often receives his complains complaints

That he had stolen 'makhan' [guess you need to put some note about this] for fun

I don't exactly get what you meant by this: "And have broken mud vessels of young girls"

She has to handle carry her son while doing daily tasks

She once out of curiousity asks, Out of curiosity she once asks,

Who is (more) beautiful than the moon goddess [need the word more since it's comparative]

She looked looks at his naive small face and replied says, [Inconsistent use of tense]

Like this she daily encounters such innocent show She encounters everyday such innocent show

She gets the pleasure that is most sweet the sweetest in the world

And to this pleasure the whole world bow knows

That she is not just an ordinary mother.



Final Thought:
         Overall, it is a great piece bearing lots of moral lessons. It was a great read and I enjoyed reading your poem. Thank you for sharing this. Keep your creative juices flow to inspire and touch many lives.


Reviewed by:
GERVIC 🐉 House Targaryen



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
207
207
Review of PAPA JOHN  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings SSpark!

Thank you for giving me tbe chance to read this piece. But before I lay out my review for this writing, I would also like to take the chance to welcome you here in Writing. Com. I hope you enjoy your stay with us. Again, Welcome!

Papa John is one beautiful and touching piece. The way you descibed your father and the way you compared him to a king is superb! I agree about how fathers behave as you word it here. He always have to act like a king in order for us children to follow the right path. During dinner time, his scornful look and grin always put us to behave properly and eat our meals in a well-mannered setting.

It's sad to know you lost him at the end of your piece. That would be too hard, too painful to accept. And you still grieve, perhaps it's time for you to let go of your father and let him rest in peace.

Thank you again for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Write on!

Best regards,
Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
208
208
Review of Water  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Wendy!

Before I start laying down my thoughts about this piece, I would like to welcome you to our wonderful writing.com community-Writing.com! I hope you will enjoy your stay with and that you will continue to share your masterpieces and inspire us all.

Water is one of the most important elements here on earth and we could never live without it. I love how you associate yourself to those beautiful creatures such as the bee, the moth and the child. I agree that water has a good days and bad. But I think it's because of human beings when nature throws its bad days to us. This is only to remind us that we need to take care of our waters - the nature as a whole.

"I feel like I am a drop | Of water | In a vast ocean" is what I like most. The deep meaning it possesses make me realize that in this world, I am just a drop. But think of this, a droplet can stir a still sea. It ripples to all and that only means, whatever you do with your life, it affects many.

I would like to suggest on the third line "Like bees to honey". I think it would be better if you say, "Like bees to flower". Bees love flowers for sweet nectar.

Overall, this is a great piece. I enjoyed reading this and learned a lot. Write on!

Best regards,
Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
209
209
Review of Death  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings PoetInthrInside!

Before I share my thoughts about this piece, I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you here at our wonderful online writing community, Writing.com! I'm glad you found your way towards joining this site and posted this thought-provoking, worth pondering piece.

I have to agree with you on every statement you have here. Death is natural but most people are afraid of it. There are lots of reason why they are afraid. Perhaps, they don't want to leave their loved ones, their awesome job, their luxurious lifestyles, their riches, or perhaps the worldly things they savor to enjoy while alive. Some people might be afraid or even worried with their offsprings for not having settled yet, afraid to leave their loyal pets, amazing friends, and all the goodness they have in life.


Living a life here on earth is wonderful. Yes, you may feel that the world is over your shoulder but there are many ways to lighten up the load. Perhaps a child's smile would ease the burden, your friends laughter would mitigate the pain, your colleagues' tender and loving care, your parents' unconditional affection are but a few of reasons why we still choose to live. Don't lose hope no matter what.

On the last part, I am so saddened with how you wanted to be dead. If there is something wrong, find someone to talk to. You can talk to anybody here, or me. I'd love to hear what pain you might be bearing right now.

Indeed this is a beautiful writing. I just hope the last part is not real. By the way, I found few typographical errors in this sentence:

We don't want to die, we do everything to avoid death because not only we are sacred (scared) by ii (it) but also scared by others' deaths, our loved ones. Just a little polishing and formatting, this piece will be perfect.

Thanks for sharing this. Write on!

Best regards,
Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
210
210
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi HOOves!

I'm so glad I stumbled upon this static cause this one is something! I learned a lot from this and I would like to thank you. I was shot point blank on my face with number 9. The fact that I was coming from a very long hiatus and had done nothing helpful during my comeback yet. I am about to launch a fundraising event but haven't done a review since I came back - not even a review.

So here I am, trying to get the motivation to read and review cause this is what the site for after all. And you got my first review for this year.

Once again, thank you for this. Expect more reviews are coming from me for the rest of the year. Write on!


Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
211
211
Review of Every Minute  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi there Dawn Embers!

I was doing a random read and this beautiful piece appeared. How could I not read it when it's written by Dawn Embers? "Every Minute" is a perfect choice of title. While at it, I already got hints about what the content will be which for me is a great thing in choosing titles.

I love the effect of repeating Every minute at the start of each stanza. This provides emphasis to the subject matter and how the following lines supported it. It's a piece with deep meaning about life and how life responds in every minute. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing!

Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
212
212
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greeting Prosperous Snow!

The Lamentation Of Adam And Eve is a great piece of poetry about Adam and Eve. The title suits well for this and was a great choice. Great job with this. I like the way it is written and how you let them speak for themselves. The piece portrayed a deep spiritual meaning about temptation, the decision they made, the responsibility and their faith that had been put to a test. Great piece. Thank you for sharing!

Gervic


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
213
213
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings Toemetricist !

I am Gervic and I am currently reviewing through the Read a Newbie Corner of this site. I found your piece there and thought of giving it a review.

Life And Much Of It is one good title. At first glance of it one will know that your piece will talk about life (which is interesting) and much about life (which makes it even more interesting). The description "How we can find clarity when feeling like mud. Knowing when to be still." suggests an extreme metaphor as how life would be as compared to that of mud. Great one!

This short piece bears lots of thoughts, message worth pondering upon. I love how you compare life to mud and how you manage to arrive at some great messages with it. I totally agree with what you said about life here

I found typo error though -
... or if we should run away or rejoyce rejoice.
Because, at times, we find ourself ourselves to be much like mud.
We may find ourself ourselves to be like a muddy puddle..

I like this line:
This kind of awareness motivates us to avoid or ride the ripples.

"Ride the ripples" is very much poetic and has great hidden meaning into it.

Overall, a wonderful and inspiring read. Thank you for sharing this. Write on! Cheers!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
214
214
Review of Tiny Dancer  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there CircAid!

Gervic here and I currently doing a quick passing at the Read a Newbie column of this page. First off, I would like to welcome you to Writing.com! May your stay with us be filled with so much fun, learnings and inspirations.

Tiny Dances being the poem's title served its purpose pretty well. It is enticing and captivating. Good job with your title selection.

I love the way you play with metaphor here. The extreme personification of the flower's brief but most anticipated dancing. The imagery is clear and with its short lines, you managed to convey a great meaning of the spring's coming. Great job!

I enjoyed reading this and I wish to read more of your writings. Write on!

Cheers!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
215
215
Review of Dog Parade  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there Lorelei!

Gervic here, And I am just having a quick visit on the Read a Newbie Column of this page. First up, I'd like to welcome you to Writing.com! May your stay eith us be filled with fun, and more writings to do.

Dog Parade is a great title. When at it, readers will already know what the piece is all about and how it will go. It's catchy and has this awesome drag that will surely bring readers (Especially thise who love dogs) to the content of your writing. I'm not much of a dog lover but I like this piece.

I love the way you show each scene of how those dogs ran while on the loose. The tems smooth and curly provided hints that the owner has different types of dog. I like the vivid imagery you put in here.


I'm just greateful that there are people who look after the welfare of the animals especially the stray ones. This is a great write! Keep writing more of this. Thank you for sharing! Cheers!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
216
216
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there Guriya! I was doing a random read through the Read and Review page. Your poem caught my attention so I thought of reading it and leave it with a rating and review. Please note that this review is mainly my opinion.

The title of your piece "Home of Spirituality!" was what captured me. It has this unique element that drags readers (specially those who are interested in this genre) to dig in your writing. Please capitalize the first letter of spirituality and the exclamation mark seems unnecessary. Although your title is already good, I would like to suggest one that I think is way better - A True Abode.

The message you're trying to convey is way to deep and very spiritual. Being alone doesn't mean that you're lonely. Being alone is where we can find our inner peace, where we can find the tranquility of our mind. Through it, we will be able to communicate solemnly with our Creator. Through it we will be able to seek for His guidance and protection-for whatever waves of trials we will be facing, He will always be there to save us so that we will appear victorious in the end of the day. I admire how you put this message in this one short piece.

With the poem composition, I'm not sure what form you follow since you started it with a good rhyming scheme yet at the end it tuned out off-rhyme. The word selection is great and I like your good touch of metaphor.

This is something worthy for a good read. Good job and thanks for sharing! Write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
217
217
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Greetings SMs!

September has always been the most exciting and awaited month ever! Especially here on Writing.com. There would be no funnier and more surprising than what you guys are preparing for all of us here. It is an advantage that you set up this amazing and colorful page intended solely for the week long celebration.

It was too wise of you and SM to put up a WDC Party Central which houses all the amazing contests and delightful activities for WDC's anniversary. Not only that, you always bring us through here, new surprises, fresh additions, new releases, skins and lots if games.

Party Central guides us what to do and where to head ourselves when we are somehow lost and buried in so much activities. There's no need for us to sift through various items since they're all listed in here. Thus, you are make everything more easier.

You don't know how much I loved to see the red logo located on the left sidebar. And I've been hoping it stays there for quite longer, maybe the whole September. U already missed that cute little thing*Smile*

This is indeed a very organized item, clean and I love all the image logo and banners. Not to mention the skins which are so enticing and gorgeous.

I'm getting excited for next year's anniversary already.*Laugh*

Overall, awesome item, colorful, stunning, delightful, and all adjectives that best describes this.

Thanks a lot to all of you guys! You always rock!

Best regards,
Gervic

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann


218
218
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)

Hi There Alan Davies!

Thank you so much for spending your most precious time to join the first round of "Verdant Poetry Contest - On Hiatus! Your entry is much appreciated.*Smile* My review will duscuss things I discovered, how you touch me with this, and how this poem impacted me.

Capturing Mother's Colors, is a colorful piece portraying the artist's feeling of awe and surprise to the splendid scenery of mother nature. She doesn't know where to start her art 'cause she's feeling astounded and overwhelmed to each and every magnificent detail nature ever has. The TITLE was great! It has this awesome charm, colorful enticement that surely will lure readers. Great job!

I love the way you presented your lliece [adding colors created a unique emphasis on each line]. The vibrant blend of harmonious colors especially coincide with the wonderful rhythm and smooth flow of lines. Not to mention the excellent end rhymes which is ax plus factor.

Imagery is awesome. Clear as crystals. I can feel the breeze, the tickling caress of grasses and of vibrant flowers on the field. The scene is soothing and relieving. The emotion ia lively, full of hopes.

I found not a single glitch with regards to grammars. I love your choice of words.

I like the last stanza:

A warm breeze passes over her
She feels mother's love
Approval from love
Her motives without sins
She smiles and begins


It's has short simple lines but has a deepest meaning. Here you showed the love from above. She's granted the wisdom and insight on how to keep thingas simple, how to not give up. Hope appeared in here and she's found the inspiration to start and keep going.

This is indeed a great piece Alan! I enjoyed this very much. I m looking forward to your entry next round. Thanks once again and keep your creative juice flowing.

Best regards,
Gervic

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann

"Verdant Poetry Contest - On Hiatus


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
219
219
Review of Tagaytay  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings to you Candy!

It is too exciting to read articles about places -special places in a country I belong with. I heard Tagaytay but I have never been there. People who happened to visit the place always have a good say to it. The experiences they have made me feel envious. I hope to visit there someday.

You are drawing an awesome and vivid image of the place on my mind. Though I never have been there yet, you seemed have given me a quick tour with the beautiful description you have here.

I agree with you, tourism is the primary source of income to the people of Tagaytay. And if somebody would read this piece, without a doubt, they too will crave to pay a visit.

This is a great article Candy! I am looking forward to reading more of your works- especially pieces similar to this. Thanks for sharing. Write on!

Mabuhay Pilipinas!!!

Best regards,
Gervic

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
220
220
Review of Evening Sky  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there Carly!

Evening Sky was a splendid piece which imagery was awesome. It's vivid and appealing. I can see how the clouds hovered through the clearest blue sky, how the darkness rolled over like curtains slowly covering those soft foamy clouds breasting through the azure sky.

Here you defined that even how beautiful, how brilliant life is, there's always a darkest side of it. There's always problems that ruin our days. However, hope and faith are always in our hearts. And when tomorrow comes, there would be another brilliant brand new day. Tis the essence of life.

I found no grammatical flaw. I liked the smooth flow of lines. Lines were short but has meaning worth to ponder.

I enjoyed reading your poem Carly. Thanks for sharing and Write on! Happy Holidays!


Reviewing,
Gervic

oOo
This review is part of your winning of Day 8 promo from "The Magical Christmas Fundraiser
oOo

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
221
221
Review of Winter  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there April Desiree!

"Winter" was a fine choice of title. It surely will capture readers of all kinds most especially this season of snow.

Content was surprising. At a first glance on the title, images of snowflakes, snowman and any other winter thing were painted on my mind. I thought of Christmas, yet I was wrong. Here you talked about your feeling- lonely, sad and cold for he was no longer there at your side. You long for his warmth but he's not there. His love for you had died, faded and no longer will bloom again for it wilted. That's the winter of your life.

Imagery ws vivid and appealing. Every scene was clear. The emotion revealed were sad, lonely and sorrowful. Rhyming is in perfect and beautiful ABCB pattern. Lines flow smoothly.

I found no error in grammars. I loved this classic piece. I was like reading the works of my favorite classic poets -Frost and Longfellow. Great job April! You have their blood in your veins!

Overall, a wonderful read. Thanks for sharing! Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

oOo
This review is part of your winnings of Day 8 Promo at "The Magical Christmas Fundraiser
oOo

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
222
222
Review of My Freedom  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there Lina Black!

"My Freedom" is a beautiful poetry that portrays how you wished then found your freedom. The title said it all. And it's just a nice choice for it has this dragging charisma that surely will tempt readers to read.

This poem moved me in a way that made me realize and think of the situation I'm in right now. Honestly, I felt no freedom in here ever since I came to this place. You don't know how much I wanted to go home but I just can't, I'm afraid. And I need to finish my college (they promised to finance me actually. ]

This feeling keeps on haunting me and sometimes it made me regret the decision I made before coming here. If you were me, maybe you would hate life, maybe you would blame Him for bringing you to this place. I found no joy, everyday is a never ever good if she's here. She always watch every move I take and will find faults in every good things I've done. It's true and I started to hate life. I'm sorry, this seems going far out from the topic. I just wanted to burst out this feeling haunting me within. And this she I'm talking about is my Auntie's cousin. Good thing there's WDC, my only escape and companion.

Oh, that's how powerful this piece is Lina. I'm not suppose to shout this out here in the public but after reading your wonderful piece, I did confess.

Anyways, this is indeed a beautiful write touching every reader's heart. I love the appealing and visual imagery. No found error in grammars and spelling.

Thanks Lina for a wonderful read. Write on!

Reviewing,
Gervic

oOo
This review is part of Day 8 promotion from [#1964670] "The Magical Christmas Fundraiser
oOo

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
223
223
Review of The Wrath  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Hi there April Desiree!

         The Wrath is a piece of hope and faith. Here you expressed how you overcome and conquered the life's battles, how firm you stood everytime you tumbled down, how you found light amidst the darkest road. You never forget Him whatever happened to you. You held Him strong enough to never loose His guiding hands. And that made you win.

This piece was one of my inspiring reads. Imagery was great. Emotion was sincere. I found no grammatical flaw and the lines just freely flow.

I have no idea or point of information to suggest because this was a perfect write worth to ponder upon.

Thanks Des for another inspiring poetry. You truly are a great poet and writer. Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic

oOo
This review is part of your winnings from "The Magical Christmas Fundraiser
oOo

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
224
224
Review of Vow  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings April Desiree!

This is a beautiful piece written by a heartbroken writer. You don't know how much this affected me in a way that it brought me to tears. This awaken my deeply slumbered love, the love I strugged to forget then. It brought me too much pain that made me swore not to love again. My heart still cries, grieving for my lost, lamenting ever since the day she left me.

Our vows, our promises were like bubbles poked midair. It burst and disappeared. And I left nothing but a tormented heart. You know it's hard to move on, but a least I tried and yes, I succeeded. This piece, is just perfect for me.

The emotion you revealed was sad, lonely and sorrowful. I liked the consistent and perfecf ABCB rhyming. Imagery was vivid. I found no error with grammars.

Overall, a great write Des! Thanks for a wonderful read. Write on!


Reviewing,
Gervic

oOo
This review is part of your winnings from "The Magical Christmas Fundraiser
oOo

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
225
225
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Hi there Yellowrose!

Giving Thanks was a great choice of title. It surely will tickle readers' interest to read your beautiful offering. Your title said it all. It provided your readers a quick summary to what your piece is all about.

Here you expressly emphasized the beauty of His creation, the great and magnificent things He bestowed us with. And that is what we must be grateful of. Here you instill to our mindd that we need to give thanks to every blessing He showered upon. And that was what made this piece more than beautiful.

I liked the flow of lines. It's as smooth as river flowing downstream. Every word conveyed meaning so worthy to ponder upon. This indeed, a food for thought and soul. A perfect for everyday reading.

I loved the last lines:

"The morning sun will shine for us again
Brighten someone's day with a big smile"

It's very fresh and inspiring.

I found no grammatical glitch. It's just perfect and excellent write worthy for five stars.

Thanks Yellowrose for letting me read this. Continue to inspire readers by crafting more and more words from your heart.

Reviewing,
Gervic

oOo
This review is part of your Day 4 Prize won from"The Magical Christmas Fundraiser.

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
307 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 13 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/gervic/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/9