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2,457 Public Reviews Given
2,459 Total Reviews Given
I'm good at...
I'm good at evaluating the writer's creative statement or message. If there is no statement, the piece seems disconnected and it's difficult to see the purpose. Many readers would question whether there is a purpose at all. I'm good spotting language usage and grammar, punctuation and spelling problems. If corrections are needed, I'll point them out to you under suggestions.
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Adult, Dark, Death
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Poetry, Short Stories, Essay, Article, Prose
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Public Reviews
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451
451
Review of Pyrrhus's Lament  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
His Percy, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
The poem provides a canvas to paint a picture of Pyrrhus' lamenting a situation.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your friend's love was unsolicited and relentless. It crushed you with hopelessness. Only the gods would find that amusing. All appreciated her beauty and what was beneath. eg her pride and her rich purse. I find your poem requires focus and knowing what the allusions are, eg who is Pyrrhus? The dictionary says he is a ruler of a kingdom, a male monarch. Historically, he was a king of Epirus who defeated the Romans in two battles. Off that, the title of your poem "Pyrrhus's Lament" tells me you are writing about yourself as the male ruler. She is the one woman you would never hope to win because there is too much bitterness between you. Her mother would never forgive. You are a condemned man, yet innocent. This line tells me you were accused of an impropriety, but you believe you're innocent, mainly because the love was unsolicited. Whether it's solicited or not, I believe, is a moot point. My favorite part: She remains unblemished despite all that's happened. She is a strong, unbroken and compelling woman. I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of analyzing emotion.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Simile is used effectively, eg like a serpent's coil of unrelenting grip. A poetic convention of consonance, eg coin to compromise.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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452
452
Review of Finally Free  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sum1, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, , which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of unrequited love and an unexpected twist at the end.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your beloved left you forty years ago. Now when things are going well, and after all your heartache and tears, you received a letter from your beloved, telling you she's getting old and she'd like to get together with you again. She was right. Your love returned quickly, but with teary eyes, you slowly walked away, no longer chained. I can understand that even though you still had feelings for her, you also needed to protect yourself from an unrequited love. I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of honesty and courage to walk away from the situation. The title of your poem "Finally Free" is very appropriate in that is exactly what happened. My favorite part is: He slowly walked away, no longer chained.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. Description is vivid, eg no longer trapped in a quagmire.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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453
453
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Mrs. B. M. Ray, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review your biography which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This biography describes the writer's life five years into the future.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You have had an interesting and varied life. My favorite part: I really enjoyed hearing about your raising children and creatively managing your large family, providing for them including entertainment on a tight budget with limited funds. A woman has an interesting job right in the home wearing multiple hats. Creativity can soar when you think about it. I really enjoyed reading your biography, as there is an underlying tone of resourcefulness and dedication in your bio.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Well-written. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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454
454
Review of Simpler Times  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Harry, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem tells a story of a more simple childhood in 1954.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You were an energetic, involved, enterprising young boy. You were even compassionate to your dad's work day. You were learning the value of a dollar, or more accurately a nickel in 1954. Learning the value of money and having to save it made you quite sensitive to your dad's long day. The activities flying the simple glider and the more complex propelled plane helped you become a more responsible child. I find your growing up years very interesting. I should probably congratulate your mom and dad. Nice job.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Well-written. Your changing from past to present to present perfect tense jarred my reading of your poem a little. You might want to give that some thought.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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455
455
Review of Vocabulary  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Elicia, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem provides a canvas to paint a picture for the study of vocabulary.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
When talking to the nation, shorten your words and sacrifice your education. Exercise your brain with a new word or two. Did you check the dictionary or are you too lazy to check it? In a display of lgnorance, keep writing to increase your vocabulary. I enjoyed reading your poem. There is an underlying tone of humor and satire in parts. Write on!

*Pen*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your poem is Unrhymed verse. Metaphor is used well, You've become a black sheep in an intellectual slipping backwards. Description is vivid, eg writing intricate works.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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456
456
Review of The Morning Star  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi.Crissy, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes what needs to happen to be forgiven by our Lord.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Praying and asking for forgiveness is so important. If you have done that, Our Lord's regal love glows through your gleaming eyes. The Holy Ghost will atone your sins and He'll give you chances to repent for your misdeeds. If you don't take heed, it will be too late to plead. My favorite part: Your pain will be removed with loving care, A sanctified love with Jesus you'll share. I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of praying and repentance.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Rhyme pattern is consistent. Description is vivid, eg the morning star is bright, an alluring prize, His regal love glows through our gleaming eyes. Rhyming couplets provide a smooth flow of words. Good cadence.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestion:
Stanza 5: it's NOT its


Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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457
457
Review of Life and Death  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Angel, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems,, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the emotional complications of death..

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
As life is leaving, pain is utmost in his mind. You watch unconcerned. He's gone now. Sadness is expected, and you're dead inside. I read your poem with sensitivity, as there is an underlying tone of grieving and compassion for him. I'm sad for the two of you, yet in a way I'm also happy for you too. Death is such an ordeal and now you two can be peaceful, you on earth, him in his afterlife. The titlle "Life and Death" is appropriate to your poem. Most memorable: Yet I'm dead inside. This is sad, but at least it's over.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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458
458
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem provides a canvas to paint a picture of young teenagers in middle school.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You speak of fond memories of childhood, then the onset of adolescence marked by old shoes and games. The line becomes blurry if the crowd disapproves.Until we get through the big change of adolescence, it's rough weather. Those middle school years are tough when the 13-year-old feels gangly and awkward. It is a time of not knowing whether you like yourself or not. This is a time when you should develop lifetime interests and good friendships. I enjoyed reading your poem, as it had an underlying tone of evaluating. The title of your poem "The Children in Middle School" is appropriate. Most memorable: The lines become blurry if the crowd disapproves.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Description is vivid, and consonance is effective, eg popularity plummets. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestions:
Stanza 3: lines 1 and 3 need to be re-worked.
Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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459
459
Review of Love is a sunset  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Spidey, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of a sunset by the poet in love.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
The colors of a sunset form patterns, each a unique vision of beauty and perfection. The passionate sun sets behind the earth. A sadness sets in as you realize you will never see that unique beauty again.

I enjoyed reading your lovely poem, as there is an underlying tone of appreciation and love of sunsets. The title of you poem "Love Is a Sunset" is appropriate in that you are fascinated with sunsets.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your poem is Unrhymed verse. Well written. Description is vivid, eg each one a unique pattern of beauty, of perfection.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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460
460
Review of The Lone Wolf  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Mrs. B. Ray, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem provides a canvas for a picture of the lone wolf during winter.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
I am the lone wolf: my den is cold against my fur and my stomach growls. The star-filled Sky is not warm. I can't find any food so I howl. I long for spring when my prey lets down its guard. They don't know the cold that makes my fur stiff. They don't know the pain of hunger that makes my food hide in the winter.

I enjoyed reading your poem as there is an underlying tone of empathy for the wolf that is created. The title of your poem "The Lone Wolf" is appropriate in that he is alone.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Metaphor is effective, eg prey lets down its guard. Description is vivid, eg fur freezing stiff so it sticks up. Nice onomatopoeia, eg stomach growls. First person narratoI is unusual in a poem.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.
Suggestion:
Stanza 4: Lines 1 and 2 read awkwardly. You might want to think about reading aloud and re-working.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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461
461
Review of The Place of GOD!  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Jaiam, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of where God belongs.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Before all things there was God. In the end there will be God. Lord is God. Where does the reader place God?

I enjoyed reading your short poem, as there is an underlying tone of examining theology. The title of your poem "The Place of God" is appropriate. Areas of improvement: I was confused by your last question, "Where place you God? ". Clarification of your thought would help.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your poem is Unrhymed verse. You used the word 'things' four times in eight lines. Try using synonyms for some of these.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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462
462
Review of Recollections  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi, Brom21, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your pieces, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This piece describes looking back at childhood memories after both parents have passed away.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You speak of childhood memories, riding your bicycle all day around the lake near the forest. I understand the wild environment of which you speak. I experienced that kind of environment for 12 years. There were some disadvantages, but there more real benefits. I'm sure you wouldn't trade your childhood for anything on this earth. I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of reminiscing that is just precious. The title of your piece "Recollections" is appropriate. Areas for improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Suggestions: You have made some errors that are probably just clerical errors. I think you need to edit more. See below:
Paragraph 3: toward NOT towards
with those who were as I was NOT to those who were as I was
a slender fellow NOT slender fellow
like him, but NOT like t
I suppose NOT is suppose
So often, but NOT so often but

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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463
463
Review of Springtime Colors  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Harry, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of the real purpose of springtime colors.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You describe your backyard as ablaze with vibrant colors.n The flowers attract insects to aid in pollination. Robins, finches and hummingbirds come out. They are migrating north after a long winter. Colors are sent to make hearts sing. They renew the soul of man.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Nice use of metaphor, eg colors of spring are sent to make the heart sing. Description is vivid, eg a blaze of vibrant colors. The rhyme pattern in your poem is consistent and the pattern is rhyme in second and fourth lines of each stanza.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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464
464
Review of Flower's  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi DBingham3, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of a way to smile.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Color and scent of flowers say many things, one of which is God's creation. If God can bring a smile to one's face, think of what He can do with us if we allow Him full access.

I enjoyed reading your poem as there is an underlying tone of appreciation of God and what He does Es with nature. The title of your poem "Flower's" is fairly appropriate in that you named the poem after your topic. Flower's show possession; Flowers is plural. You need to title your poem "Flowers" to be grammatically correct. Areas for improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Description is vivid, eg such an array of beauty. You have written a very nice Unrhymed verse.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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465
465
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi G. M., I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the.public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of comforting someone whose loved one has passed away.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
When a person grieves for a loved one, are there any kind words that can be said? Are there deeds that can be done when a person is angry with God and heaven? Are there ways that can heal the pain? You state you'll pray for the person and loved one. You offer your heartfelt services in the name of Jesus.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
The rhyme pattern of your poem is fairly consistent. You need to check Stanzas 3, 5 and 6 for re-wording as some of the words do not rhyme.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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466
466
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jace, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes true friendship which is often found in unexpected places.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Your essay describes genuine friendship found online, WDC writing.com. While you never thought it possible to find a true friend online, you are thrilled to have found a lifelong friend, Shannon Chapel through a secret angel program in which you spent four weeks doing special things for her, i.e. reviewing her portfolio. You are separated by geography and joined by a bond between the two of you. Some thoughts to ponder: You might think about giving some examples of reviews of her work. Did she review some of your work? Can you give some examples? This is all an effort to show not tell. Essays are meant to persuade. Can you show me how your essay does this? I enjoyed reading your essay. as I felt you were exploring a new avenue of an online friendship. The title of your essay is appropriate "Friendship~~A Tribute.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. or spelling. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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467
467
Review of A Love Denied  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Cubby, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poetry, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a picture of falling in love, infatuation. .

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You fell in love. He hoped to rise above and see his fantasy. She disappeared and his passion raged uncared. She was the sun and moon. I enjoyed reading your poem as there is an underlying tone of infatuation, yet denied though not untried. The title of your poem, "A Love Denied" is appropriate, as happens with infatuation. Areas of improvement. N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Description is vivid, eg became uncaged. Your rhyme pattern is consistent. Metaphor is effective, eg consumed with fire by his desire.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your , which I found on the. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This haiku sonnet paints an exciting and adventuresome picture.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You describe the adrenaline rush that you get from doing risky activities, eg skydiving, diving with sharks in the vast ocean, skiing the back country and taking Avalanche chances on your life. I enjoyed reading your poem as there is a tone of excitement among challenges. The title "That Which Kills Me" is appropriate in that you are referring to the risk element. Areas for improvement: N/A..

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Nice job with your haiku sonnet. Your poem is Unrhymed with syllable counts of four quatrains and two couplets at the end. Consonance is well-done, eg bated breath.
.
I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Red Roses  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Joy,, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poem, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a heartfelt of roses and romance flowering.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Crimson romance and ashes are meant for joy, meloncholy or love. You send your beloved jubilant rose petals: Sentiments find refuge in flowers. Roses are scented, blushing like midnight smiles inside a dream and heartfelt longing. I enjoyed reading your poem as there is an underlying tone of emotions expressed with nature. The title of your poem "Red Roses" is appropriate in that red roses can express deep love or melancholy moments. Areas of improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Effective use of metaphor, eg jubilant rose petals, Unrhymed verse. Description is vivid, eg sentiments find refuge in flowers.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of A Bit about Roots  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi. I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your , which I found on the. . Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes the many different facets of roots.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You share that not to know a family's history is sad. Strong roots that will withstand a strong wind are beneficial so a tree can withstand a strong wind and not fall on its face. Spring makes seeds come alive and allows them to sprout and thrive. Some roots are good, some bad. Roots in your sewer lines clog your toilets and drains. May all your roots be

I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of exploration of a thought. The title of your poem "A Bit About Roots" is appropriate in that you have studied and reported on some roots.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Effective use of metaphor, eg, strong, widespread roots keep a tree in a strong wind from falling on its face. This example can be applied to family history or trees. Your rhyme pattern is fairly consistent, except stanza four the word roots is used for rhyming twice.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Our Love  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Carly, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This lovely poem was written for the poet's wedding.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You become one, like silken threads on a beautiful tapestry. You are one heart, one mind, one life. Your voices blend in perfect harmony. You move forward and destiny's path awaits.
I enjoyed reading your poem celebrating the most important event in your life. There is an underlying tone of rejoicing as one. The title of your poem "Our Love" is appropriate. Areas for improvement: I wouldn't change a thing.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
You have used simile well, eg like silken threads in a beautiful tapestry. Description is vivid, eg our voices blend in perfect harmony.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review of Bathed  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi T.L. Finch, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem paints a beautiful picture of change with all the imagery you could imagine.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
Rays of sunlight warm a frozen lake, bathe and tickle the white oak branches until they're awake. You greet spring with a warmer breeze while birds take wing. Thawing ice on leaves is on the ragged shoreline. The wrath of winter fades and what survives is scathed and left to heal in spring.

I agree that spring is a great healer, but bathing from thawing lakes is a healer too. I enjoyed your poem. There is an underlying tone of reverence for nature. The title of your poem is appropriate as the trees are bathed even in winter as the sunlight thaws. Areas for improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
You have a wonderful ability to show, not tell or paint a picture of the winter landscape. Your rhyme pattern is consistent and there is a smooth flow of words. You have been effective using metaphor, eg bathing white oak branches and tickling them awake. Description is vivid, eg rays of sunlight warms the frozen lake. Consonance is used, eg wrath of winter.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Neva, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on thepublic review pages. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
In this poem the poet is searching for Christ's soothing light, His hope.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You were lost in the darkness looking for light with no stars to guide you and no moon to calm your fright. You kneeled and prayed to our Great God. In that moment dawn brought rays of warmth to your trembling soul. I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of reverence for Our Lord. The title of your poem "Seeking and Finding" is very appropriate, in that you sought the love of Our Lord and were given dawn's rays that warmed your trembling soul. That is exactly how we are told to pray. Areas for improvement: N/A. Most memorable: dawn's rays warming your trembling soul.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your poem is Unrhymed, unmetered verse and fits the mood of your poem perfectly. Description is vivid, eg dawn's bright rays warmed my soul. I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Lisa, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems for our January Power Review. Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This story poem provides a canvas to paint a picture about a girl who is going to die.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
The girl was alone in her room when she was frightened in the night like a young child. She screamed. The whispers of a man grew loud. She kept her cool and she was proud. She felt a hand on her back. The man said, "Don't fear me. I've come to help you."
It is my life you seek. Who are you? What do you want?
You are death. I will serve you as my dish. She replied, Don't take me. I have a life to live.
I'm sorry. You'll be in a better place. You'll see your loved ones. Before we're finished, you'll see God too. It's not a sad thing, so don't cry.

Dialogue occurs in your story poem. You used quotation marks once, yet there was conversation throughout. It would be an easier read, I feel, if you treated this story poem with dialogue and quotation marks. Perhaps, place one speaker in each stanza. See Suggestions below.

I appreciated reading your poem. It had an underlying tone of fear and confusion. The title of your poem "A Whisper in the Dark" is appropriate in that it started as a whisper, and seemed to return to a whisper at the end. Areas for improvement: See Suggestions. Most memorable: the honesty of the girl in the poem, eg I have a life to live.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Simile, like a child. The rhyme pattern in your poem is consistent. Description is vivid, eg soft blushed cheek.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Suggestions:
Your poem is repetitive in certain areas, eg darkness in a dark room.
You might think about using quotation marks consistently. In Stanza 4 you used quotation marks, yet in Stanza 5 you did not use quotation marks.
Grandpa NOT Grand pa
Is your thinking controlled by the rhyme, eg Stanza 4: the fear I felt I did not lack. Are you using the rhyme lack just as a word that rhymes with back (earlier line) ?
You might want to think about this: How believable is your poem? I found it difficult to read because the man in your story poem was not believable. He had no compassion for the girl's fear. How persuasive was he? If he had persuaded her, she would have had less fear about dying and less resistance perhaps.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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Review of The Double Duty  Open in new Window.
Review by GerMac Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hii Tim, I am GerMac, affiliated with Power Reviewers Group. I am here today to review one of your poems, which I found on the public review pages. } Please use my suggestions as you see fit. My comments are opinions only. .

*ButterflyB* OVERALL IMPRESSION:
This poem describes double duty when you are a ski instructor and blackjack dealer at a casino.

*Idea*CREATIVITY/STATEMENT:
You are a blackjack dealer at night and a ski instructor during the day. Franklin, the ski instructor and black jack dealer gives advice at his gambling table. He is upbeat and keeps hope alive. He gives skiers of all ages instruction to avoid disaster and deal with pleasure and pain.

I enjoyed reading your poem, as there is an underlying tone of exploration and adventure. The title "The Double Duty" is appropriate in that you have two jobs, both glamorous. Areas of improvement: N/A.

*Pencil*TECHNIQUE/LANGUAGE USAGE/GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION/SUGGESTIONS:
Your rhyme pattern is consistent. Description is vivid, eg snowy terrain presents many obstructions. Your poem tells a story.

I was not distracted by errors in language usage, grammar or punctuation. This comment is a disclosure, stating errors are not obvious. If they exist and are not mentioned, they are not noticed.

Thank you for sharing.

Regards,
GerMac

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