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1,601 Public Reviews Given
1,655 Total Reviews Given
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Honest and encouraging
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Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
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Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
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Murder, horror, erotica
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Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is an evocative poem full of imagery that feels very vivid and transports me into the scene. I love how the mesh of memories is conveyed as the poem moves from childhood to the present day. With unpleasant recollections of chickenpox and memories of those who have sadly passed on, the poem contrasts pleasant images like summer nights and music. A wonderful poem, thanks for sharing!
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This report does an excellent job of conveying historical events in an interesting tone. You mirror the style of a newspaper perfectly and the piece has a historical flavour due to the vocabulary you use. The article is full of factual details, such as names, times, and places, but they are sprinkled into the article in a way that is easy to understand and interesting. I felt I learned a lot about American history reading this. Another nice touch was the inclusion of opinions and the beliefs of people on both sides of the Boston tea party fiasco. I especially enjoyed the amusing parts e.g. "Feeling rather taxed," were they?
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Review of Nightmare  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This short poem was full of originality and interest. I love how you personified nightmares literally as horses who gallop through the night brining bad dreams. The part about making a girl with a fear of spider dream about them was amusingly written! The reader is transported into the world and mind of the main horse character in a vivid way. A nice twist was where the 'nightmare' meets a day stallion, who presumably brings day dreams or more pleasant dreams? She ignores her duties and looks forward to meeting him again.
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Review of Fall  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is beautiful! I'm not surprised you got an A for this wonderful meditation on autumn. I felt transported to the season through the lovely images and use of all five senses. The images of how lovely nature looks as the leaves cahnge colour and sitting down to a family Thanksgiving meal and particularly heart-warming.
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Review of Snow Creatures  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This story about a young girl home alone and preparing to encounter fearsome snow creatures that have been causing havoc in the locality was a gripping read. I loved how well you described each detail from the point of view of a child. Emily's dialgoue with her friend Tommy also struck me as very real, pulling me into the story. The idea of monsters being made from snow and the children defeating them by melting them worked well and was full of interest for this short story.
I notice that in some places you have SWAT, in others S.W.A.T so you might want to make this consisent.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a perceptive twist on the tale of Beauty and the Beast. I love the analogy you make with the classic fairytale, plus also how you compare the beauty of dandelion flowers, which are considered weeds, with Jordana. I found her a very endearing character with her desire to live up to the beauty of her movie star mum despite her crossed eyes and large nose. It was nice to see her finding love with Ken and this part came across as believable and interesting.
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Review of Toy Store Magic  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Wow! This story was an emotional rollercoaster and gripped my attention from start to finish. This would make a great movie. I loved the idea of Courtney helping out lonely and neglected Megan by letting her play with toys at the store. Courtney and her policeman boyfriend are kind and I can tell why Megan likes them. I also loved the puppy dog. What a surpirse when Megan was hit by a car -- I was longing for her to get better. It was lovely this story had a happy ending full of joy and magic for little Megan, Courtney and Danny.
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Review of The Door  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is an atmospeheric poem. I loved the opening line as it grabbed my attention through the image of the mysterious door underground. The vivid way in which you describe the door made it easy for me to picture it. You created a strong image of character and age.
The only thing I'm not sure about is if oilslicked is one word as when I look it up it comes up as two...
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found great solace in reading this hopeful poem full of the promise of God's purpose for our lives. The last few years have been hard due to the pandemic, and this adds to the usual difficulties thrown in our paths as we go through our life journeys. The poem reminds me how God has a purpose in all his actions, however harsh it feels living through the trials at the time. The use of the sonnet form was flawless and I liked how you capitalised key words for emphasis.
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Review of Pink Perfume  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a sweet poem and uses the repetition of the word pink well. I like how you made the text pink too! It conjures a mood of comfort and beauty with images of summer days, flowers, and fluffy clouds. It made me think how a fragrance can be linked to memories. Thanks for drawing attention to this lovely thought.
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Review of My Woodland Path  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A wonderful poem about how the natural world can bring relaxation and joy to those who appreciate it. I esepcially liked the line about a walk in the woods making worries melt away like snow on a warm day. It was interesting to read the notes about the form of this poem. You have obviously put a lot of thought into crafting this uplifting poem.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Joseph,

Sorry it has taken me a while to review this. I've had a busy week and wanted to give time to your excellent novel opening in order to do it justice. I hope what I've put is helpful?

What I like best:
The stakes are high and the reader takes an instant dislike to the villain and desires to see him overcome as he is strongly portrayed.
I love the cliffhanger at the end of the first section when the charge goes off. Even though this is a short section, I strongly recommend making this Chapter 1 as it is a dramatic ending that makes readers was to continue.
The death of Thom is heartbreaking as you've set up a strong friendship with K'Tran. I also felt for K'Tran waking alone, trapped beneath the body of his friend and in dangerous activity. I suppose there is opportunity to up the drama a bit here e.g. K'Tran is injured, his contact device damaged or he hears sounds that might be Thring's followers in the distance...
Further pathos was added when we get to the funeral for Thom and we see him as a beloved family man. The character of Jesse is believable as his motivations were relatable. I enjoyed how he looks to K'Tran for advice and the conflict between them when the subject of vengeance comes up. It would be great if later in the story this becomes a key element with Jesse learning to be a hunter from K'Tran, then getting into danger as he confronts Thring to avenge Thom. I'm not sure if this is what you have planned, but it is what the end section of the piece suggested to me.
Grammar, spelling and structure is great,
I love the descriptions e.g. 'whisper seemed as loud as a shout in the cramped confines. As he spoke, his breath misted in the cool, dank air.' and 'K’Tran could hear the grin in his partner’s voice, and it irked him.'

Some suggestion:
The first lines are awesome and grabbed my attention. However, it usually helps if the key character is named in the first line so readers can picture them in the midst of the scene, sensing it and reacting. Therefore, I wondered about a first line like: 'To K'Tran Pasker, the air in the tunnel smelled of death -- a suffocating mix of starship fuel, damp earth, and rot.'
I think we need to know Thom is there before K'Tran speaks to him. Maybe have him turn to Thom and see he's just a silhouette in the dark before he speaks to him. A short description about Thom here might be nice e.g. how does he relate to K'Tran, a key character trait...
Here you miss a full stop at the end of one sentence. Also, check you have a new paragraph before K'Tran speaks as it didn't show on WDC: 'into taking action “I’m not saying this guy doesn’t deserve to be taken down.
I was a bit confused by the line 'And Thom might still be alive.' when K'Tran is sure on examining him, and reporting back that he is dead. Maybe replace it with something like he couldn't leave Thom's body there after all their years as friends and comrades in arms?
I was confused as to what warwick means here, maybe add some definition: 'Podo, the young warwick that Thom and his wife had taken in as a toddler years back'

Holly


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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for entry "Seashells" Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I enjoyed reading this piece about seashells and recognised my mermaid taking part in he piece! Mermaids love seashells and it was nice you mentioned this. The brandy sniffer with shells sounds pretty. When I was 5 I remember collecting a bucket full of pretty shells at the beach and a little boy stole them. To make it up to me, my parents bought me a pretty box decorated with shells that I have on my dressing table.
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for entry "Seashells" Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I enjoyed reading this piece about seashells and recognised my mermaid taking part in the piece! Mermaids love seashells and it was nice you mentioned this. The brandy sniffer with shells sounds pretty. When I was 5 I remember collecting a bucket full of pretty shells at the beach and a little boy stole them. To make it up to me, my parents bought me a pretty box decorated with shells that I have on my dressing table.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading through this thoughtful and interesting blog about the story behind certain pieces of music and what they mean to you. The emotions and memories the songs evoke are varied and encouraged me to reflect on what songs and music mean to me. I like how you included the lyrics with each blog from those not familiar with the songs.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a moving and beautifully written poem. You describe the emotions of grief and how a loss never leaves, just had to be lived with, so well. The sense of the weather outside mirroring the sorrow you and your family felt add poignancy. Daffodils and snowdrops are often hopeful images but here they are reminders of grey, foggy days and the loss of a beloved daughter too.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading this piece about the history of Thanksgiving. Living in the UK, a lot of the information about the history snd traditions of Thanksgiving was new to me. It was interesting how modern concepts of Thanksgiving evolved, with the day becoming a holiday later in the year. It was interesting that the Puritan Pilgrim Fathers decided to celebrate with a feast as the Puritans stopped feasting at Christmas and Easter when Cromwell held power in the Uk.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a meaningful and funny commentary on the ways simple life at one with nature is taken over by commercial business. Curt and his family may be poor but they enjoy their life and Curt is happy making driftwood ornaments. It is ironic that the inspirational sayings about the need for a happy, quiet life attract businessman Billy Ball to hire Curt to design signs using plastic mass produced driftwood. For his daughter Doris, this marks a change she resents. Due to this childhood experience m, Doris is later inspired to become a comedian poking fun and cheap poorly made products.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
You did an impressive job creating a newspaper article about the Boston tea party. The report gives the incident the freshness of a modern news story by including commentary from interviewing those involved, conjecturing about events and grounding readers in the political situation at the time.
I enjoyed the footnotes which being home just how much the destroyed tea was worth at the time.
It was fascinating that it was feared people might drink the seawater in which tea had been tipped, presumably thinking it might taste of the newly fashionable beverage.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a well written, interesting piece about Easter. The traditional egg decorating and hunts for children bring lots of joy. I didn’t know female rabbits could carry two litters at once. I love Easter time and it is a special snd meaningful time of year. Our church has Easter sunrise services.
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Review of Memoirs  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
What an interesting exercise! I was amazed how well this story worked wihtout knowing anything about the setting or including dialogue tags about the characters. In fact, the lack of information made the story more interesting as it revealed information about the puffer fish and his story gradually. I enjoyed how the story built up and dialouge sounded naturalistic. One of the amusing themes was the discussion of how long a fish can remeber things. By the end of the story, the puffer fish dramatically incresases how long he thinks he can remeber things for as he remebers his ordeal when a little girl took him home from a pet store and didn't look after him well.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a touching poem about how God has given us music to speak to our emotions. It lulls us, consoles us and brings us joy. You do a lovely job of weaving in different emotions in this piece. The poem itself has an effortless, musical flow and the rhyme and rhythm works well.
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Review of Autumn  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the focus of this poem on the colours of autumn. You speak about the lives of birds, animals and insects at this time of year, painting a clear picture of the season.
This is a particularly lovely thought: ‘God paints his pictures and leaves quarters’
The rhyme scheme and poetic form work well, thanks for sharing.
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Review of Sprocket  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
The opening line was great and conjured a clear image of Sprocket searching through her toolbox, setting the scene. Sprocket is a great steampunk name.
The dialogue between Sprocket and Mr. Alexander is fun as Sprocket amusingly reveals in thought she isn't sure what she's created with her work on the clockwork minion. Her relationship with him is amusing and endearing as she must mother him and care for him, rather than he for her.
Sprocket helps Mr. Alexander out by giving him a sprocket. I'd love to know if Mr. Alexander won the race and if the sprocket which kept her father safe in the war was why his daughter is named Sprocket, although I know elaborating further would be hard in a short word limit!
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This looks a really cool forum! I love the idea of a fairy group as I enjoy reading and writing about fairies. I'm looking forward to this group opening later in the year. I've added it to my favourites so I can check back on it. The trinkets and fairy adventure ideas are great.
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