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Review Requests: ON
1,421 Public Reviews Given
1,475 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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Review of A Few Lines  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was an original and interesting read full of twists. I love how the elves reflect the woodland environment in which they live with their twiggy hair and pine scent. I felt transported into a fantasy world due to the strong use of the senses here. It was nice that a library offers a portal as I'm sure many fantasy readers will identify with this.
A surprise comes when, after having kissed the elf she loves, the narrator turns into an animal. I like how you reveal that she is a rat gradually and conveyed her sensations so well as she transforms. The elf and his friends scoff at her, leaving her in a torment of conflicting emotions. She felt she was loved for real at first, then feels anger and shame. She returns to the real world and writes a poem to capture the fleeting beauty of her first kiss.

Some suggestions:
I may have missed something, but I wan't sure exactly why the girl turns into a rat? Is she under some kind of enchantment and who enchanted her?
I'm not sure 'ever' is needed her: 'her first torrid kiss ever.'
I wondered if there was a better word than 'turbine' here: 'The turbine of wind' as turbine makes me think of wind turbines. I wondered if vortex, swirling wind, whirlwind etc might do?
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Review of The Princess Doll  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I love the idea of a princess doll coming to life snd taking a little girl on magical adventures. I wish my toys had come alive as a child! The unicorn and fairy land were beautiful. The troll doll bought by the grandmother with bad eyesight made me laugh, he was mean and luckily Princess Megan sorted him out. In the end when Sapphire has grown up it was nice to know her daughter took care of the doll and had adventures too.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I loved the format of this poem as it sounds like a ballad to be recited at a Victorian fireside. The refrain of:
Through trouble and tumult
Together they'd be
Does a wonderful job at conveying the closeness of Victoria and Albert despite the tumulus events of the reign - a time of innovation and progress, but also social upheavals and riots. I like how the poem focuses on the key events in their lives and their relationship. I got a strong sense of their bond and romance here.
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Review of The Spider  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
There were some cool details in this fast-paced story about art crime. I love the detail of the spider broach being used as a mike to help Natasha communicate with her accomplices. The settings and emotional reactions felt real. I enjoyed the twist at the end where it is Natasha who is captured.
I couldn't see anything that needed to be altered. It would be nice to expand out on the details of this story, such as how the Mona Lisa would be substituted for a fake, but I appreciate this isn't possible with a high word-limit.
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for entry "Trolaan: Angel Oak
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This poem is beautiful, the use of alliteration creating the effect in my mind's eye of the sprawling and entangling branches of the tree. What a majestic beauty the Angel Oak is, I can easily see why it inspired this poem. I enjoyed how you captured its sense of venerable enchantment for people who have seen it during its long history.
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Review of Chinook  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I learned from reading this poem that Chinook is a warm, dry wind that blows in the Rocky Mountains in spring. I live in the UK, so I hadn't come across this before. Your poem sums up the mood of winter turning to spring perfectly. I love how you brought in all the senses, including taste and smell, to place readers vividly in the scene. I also liked how you described spring lifting the mood of everyone and the children playing outside enjoying the flowers.

I believe the spelling is 'daffodils,' not 'daffadils' but maybe this is a UK thing?
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Review of CHRISTMAS, 1965  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a heart-warming and excellently written true story. You paced it well and it is full of interest. I liked how you opened with a description of typical childhood Christmases, introducing the family and setting the scene. This prepares readers for the dramatic moment where, it true festive charitable spirit, your Mum made Christmas special for the poor family whose mother was ill. How lovely of her to give gifts even if it meant there being less for you and the siblings, as you say it made hearts glow warmer even though there was less on the morning. I'm sure the family she helped remember it with great appreciation to this day.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a well-written and nicely paced story. You have a talent for descriptive details that make readers feel part of the scene. I like how you blend mundane details about Abigail's routine and life working in a hospital with exciting elements to build up the plot, such as Beatrice with her psychic powers seeing a patient has been murdered. The ending is a great cliffhanger as readers uncover that Abigail has been in hiding and now she has to face up to the ones she's hiding from coming for her.

I found the opening line sounded a bit forced as readers automatically know that when a story opens it marks the beginning of an adventure. I wondered if you wanted to swap the current opening line with this one as it caught my attention better: 'Change was in the air and Abigail could smell it, as clear and crisp as the change of seasons.'
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Review of Rosa  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a well-written twist on the stories of Beauty and the Beast and Twilight. The story is described in a way that made me feel part of the scene using vivid sensory details. The characters and world building are good. My favourite part is the twist at the end where it’s revealed Rosa is a vampire too.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love how you created an acrostic poem to spell out the names of your grandson - it's a wonderful idea to welcome him into the world. The poem is full of love and shows what a precious boy he is to you and all his family. There are some lovely images here of angels, sun rays and the tiny baby snuggled safe and warm in his blanket.
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Review of THE TUDORS  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great poem with a lyrical, rhythmic feel that places it half way between a pop song and traditional ballad. This tone suits a light-hearted and memorable take on Tudor history. The key events of each of the reins of the Tudors and their characters are conveyed with ease.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an amazing piece showing how angels can appear to guide us in our lives. The story of Brian’s experience is told in detail in a way that made me feel I was there learning the lesson too. The author is well versed in scripture and the piece sets the scene by giving an overview of what an angel is.
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Review of Foundling  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great, well-written story. I love the idea of a zoo for reviving extinct species, it is a fun notion I wish were true. The details of the zoo, staff and lives of the animals there are described in enjoyable detail. The discovery that the unusual animal hatched in the zoo and adopted by cat-like Manka is actually a dragon was enjoyable.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great poem which conjures up a sense of how apples look, taste and smell meaning it is a sensory delight anyone who enjoys apples can relate to. Some of the images were vivid and fun, like the idea of apples as red and round as Santa’s belly. It also draws on the Biblical connotation of apples and how healthy they are.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a well-written and meaningful story in the style of a traditional fable. It is easy for children to understand and they would enjoy the goat characters. The lesson about not being a bully or apathetic to wrong is good to draw attention too. The society of the goats comes across well.
I wonder what will happen next. Does the bully who now repents his actions reform his ways and make it up to the small goats with kindness? Does he eventually get back the right to be chief by becoming a kind goat?
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Review of Unicorn Sig  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful signature image! I love the comfortable looking blanket and saddle that the unicorn wears. The harness is lovely and especially like the effect of the tassels. I can imagine someone riding the unicorn and having lots of fun and adventures.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story shows how God is there with us and uses the most unexpected of situations to teach us to become closer to Him as His children. The situation of being stuck in a hospital bed needing the toilet was described in a way that made it easy to relate to the discomfort and frustration as the hospital staff are inevitably late coming to help out. When you heard the voice of God at this time it at first comes as a surprise until you reveal more about the message He speaks. The parallels between the hospital staff not listening and people not listening to God are perfect and I can understand the meaning of this message so well given how you described the situation before. This is an honest, well-written and though-provoking piece with a clear message. Thanks for sharing.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I loved the idea of a troll and princess loving each other as it's a nice twist to fairytales. This story reminded me of beauty and the beast with the hero being cursed and only being restored to their former handsome appearance when they seem to be dying by the princess kissing them. The relationship between Colleen and Davon was cute and I enjoyed the scene where she visits his cottage by the bridge, plays with his dog and sees pretty flowers in the meadows. Andre was mean and deserved to be thrown into the dungeons! I love your fairytale stories.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story is full of the beauty and timeless magic of traditional elven tales. The loveliness of the descriptions held me in awe, as befits a story about a beautiful elven queen and her realm. The language use is formal and archaic, adding to the effect of the story. This is a well-written, interesting and easy to follow read.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a nicely written and inspiring piece that foregrounds the importance of writing. It shows how writing can have a vital place in society today and how it can capture the spirit of our times. I liked the discussion of books related to other forms of media, like movies, and how writing relates to politics.
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Review of One Last Request  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This poem is beautifully written and emotional - it brought tears to my eyes. You enter the thoughts of an elderly pet passing on with a compassionate touch. The poem would comfort many people on losing a beloved pet, I feel. I also imagine it was a comfort to you to write this as I find writing helps when I miss the first dog in our family.
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Review of Black Locust  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this story about Laura who reads minds, teleports objects and adjusts the temperature of the air around her. She is a cool character and having her having to hide her abilities is a great way to create tension as she goes about life as a normal teen shopping for a Hallowe'en costume.
The appearance of the thief was nicely handled with the fear building as her first attempt to disable him is thwarted by him pulling out another weapon and grabbing a child. Thankfully she focused her powers to defeat him.
There are some neat descriptions here e.g. 'turned the knife in the corpse of their friendship.'
The ending is great as we realise shopkeeper Ted knows someone in his shop has special powers but he isn't sure who just yet. It keeps readers wanting to find out when and how Laura's powers are discovered as they nearly were here.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a nice mix of a kind of Harry Potter story where one kid must rescue another in a scary enchanted forest, and the tale of Hansel and Gretel. Here Gretel has become a witch, which is a great twist on the tale. As in the fairytale, Elena attempts to push the witch into the fire. When this doesn't work she shoots her. The mix of dialogue and action was nicely done and the story felt immersive.
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Review of Christmas Wreath  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
A lovely couple of poems. They show how a subject about a wreath can be differently interpreted. The first poem is an emotional story about an army wife missing her husband at Christmas. Then in a lovely twist he returns home for Christmas after she thought him missing. The second poem is cute and festive and full of the joys of Christmas with children waiting for Santa.
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Review of Storm Music  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has an incredible sense of vitality and movement. Even the form of the lines mirrors the shape and movement of a tornado. I enjoyed the analogy between stormy weather and whirling thoughts. The use of imagery is beautiful and varies from fearful 'eddies of dust and debris' to brighter images of 'spring-green grasses.'
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