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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hollymerry/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/14
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1,603 Public Reviews Given
1,657 Total Reviews Given
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Honest and encouraging
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Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
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Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
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I’m happy to review all types of item
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Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Salvadore is a cute name and perfect for a teddy. Pandora is nice too. I'm impressed with how many nice names you come up with for your characters. It was lovely to see Pandora realise Santa is real as Salvadore is a special friend of his and rides in his sleigh. This was a great festive tale and made me feel Christmassy even though it is only September!
What's a Sophomore year? We don't have these at school in the UK. You wrote: 'Pandora was entering her Sophmore year of high school.'
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
These trinkets are so cute and pretty. Thank you for putting these together. I love the images and I'm pleased I found these, even if I haven't been a member of WDC long enough to have been around when some of these were created for special WDC events. It is a great writing community and I wish you success with your writing.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was delighted to find a folder of your poems that I hadn't come across before - I thought I had read most of them but there are more poetic gems here! The uplifting title of this poem caught my attention. The title and subject of the poem are perfect for exalting how God uplifts us spiritually when we are down or feel burdened or ashamed of things we did wrong. You do a great job of conveying these emotions here. I like the image of being as strong as a soaring eagle when filled with God's glowing light.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is joyously beautiful. I like how it creates a sense of movement that sounds almost like dancing in they rhythm and rhyme scheme. The lines flow effortlessly through lovely images of autumn as a goddess wearing a dress as golden as the leaves at this time of year. I liked this image in another poem of yours and I'm pleased you've expanded on it here.
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Review of Sea Goddess Poem  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
This poem is written beautifully and has a nice poetic flow. I loved the parts about the sailors and mermaids and the pirates - 'taunted the sea for centuries' is a perfect and original description for piracy! You convey a sense of the characters of the sea goddess and her mermaid and sea creature friends, the pirates and sailors well here. I could easily picture the sea goddess - beautiful but wise and long-lived as you mention she has seen the Vikings and been there since the Earth was created.
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Review of The End  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautifully constructed poem. The poetic form gives the sense of disintegration in the way that you shape the lines. The count down of minutes at the start of each stanza creates a rhythm of unity and made me anticipate the end of the poem when it is revealed why the world I ending.
The idea of no life or death existing, each being in a gaseous state breathing itself in an out is wonderfully put and memorable. I also liked:
'our sun just
ex ploded
into a billion and one
nuclear diamonds.'

The idea of time moving backwards is interesting and leads on well to the bathos at the end of the poem - this isn't about the world ending but someone unfollowing you on Twitter!!!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Stars  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Another fantastic story. I felt transported into the elven kingdom of Mirkwood with the descriptions, elven names and language here. The story was romantic and full of interest and again it was nice to see you write in the second person. I like how you made readers intrigued about the colour of the main characters eyes before revealing towards the end of the first section that they are silver and seen as a curse. Then later you change this round as her silver eyes mirror the colour of the stars in the beautiful ending.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a great opening line - it made me smile. Then more surprises were in store as I realised this story was about a mischievous kitten. I like how well you got into the minds of the cats in this story and made them such characters. It was a good idea writing about stray cats and drawing attention to them, plus it made me feel for Tucker and his family. The story had plenty of interest and drama as the older cat takes him to a cat meeting chaired by what he thinks is a panther. This left this story on a cliffhanger!
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I was rewatching 'The Hobbit' this week and I thought I'd check out Hobbit related stories on WDC.
This piece is truly excellent. I loved how well you inhabited Tolkien's world when writing it, even down to including appropriate language in the dialogue with a glossary. It was very plausible that if Balin and Dwalin had a sister she might be in love with Thorin as he is good friends with them. I liked your choice of second person for this story to make the reader feel they are the character in the world of Middle Earth. The story held my attention and I was delighted to find Thorin alive at the end. Like all good short stories, it had me guessing what might happen next as none of the other dwarves know he's alive and not even Dwalin and Balin know their sister is with Elrond.
The story is well written and I couldn't see any errors.
I see that you have written some more Hobbit fanfic- I can't wait to check it out.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the way you personified autumn as a lady with chestnut hair here spreading her magic across the land - this is a beautiful and original idea. The imagery is gorgeous as you describe the beautiful tints of autumn leaves. I especially liked the second stanza about gold sprinkling the trees like magic and the leaf colours as rich and new.
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Review of Lucy's Rainbow  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a moving and meaningful tribute to your daughter. I am so sorry for your loss, Lucy sounds lovely and it's awful she died so tragically young. This poem made clear how much she meant to her whole family and how much you all miss her. It is beautifully written and the image of the rainbow is full of meaning, showing that Lucy is looking down on you all with love.
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Review of Randoms by Rach  Open in new Window.
for entry "Semi-break?" Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
So sorry to hear you're taking a break from WDC and wishing you well for a recovery. I hope you're feeling like writing soon after a well deserved break. I look forward to reading more of your novel about Nel when you do return to writing. I may be having a busy few months ahead with uni work so I'm taking a break from the workshop group too.
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Review of The Silver Wand  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a heart-warming poem about how special your parents were helping you as a child prepare for a Christmas performance in which you dressed as a fairy. You did a great job of conveying family bonds and how much your parents mean to you. The descriptions of the fairy dress and wand were sweet, I could almost see the wand! Poetic form is used well and the poem has a nice flow.
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Review of Glimpse to Nature  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has a beautiful sense of movement. I like the way that you conjure imagery of moving water first then show dandelions moving in the wind and the motion of leaves and daffodils in the wind. This allows the reader to perfectly picture the scene and adds unity to the poem.
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Review of Finding Plot  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I've been reading back through your writing advice as I struggled to complete an ending for the novel I'm currently working on. I wanted to say how helpful this piece is about the Three Act Structure. The examples e.g. The Wizard of Oz, made it easy to see how this works effectively in practice. I also found the Save the Cat structuring useful to create a bullet point list of ingredients for an ending which I filled out in relation to the plot of my novel.
I agree that relatable characters, character flaws and a compelling structure are key to creating a good story, so thanks for sharing some tips on how to improve these elements in writing.
The thoughts about what makes a good opening line and excellent and I made some notes about these. I agree that action and emotion are good at drawing readers in. I have signed up to an online talk about opening lines tomorrow so I'll see how well the opening lines they try include fit this advice.
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Review of Night of Lights  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a moving and well written story. You handled the plot well and the descriptions snd characterisation was good. The characters had full histories snd felt like real personalities. The opening lines grabbed by attention immediately and it was nice you harked back to them at the end. It was a shame that the couple split up but I could understand where they were both coming from.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent story idea. It's great that children are encouraged to have an appreciation of the natural world and care for animals and this story encourages this in a way that is easy for children to understand. It was great to read about Johnny meeting the butterfly, squirrel, dog and enjoying being in the wooded area of the park even more than he might have enjoyed the play equipment!
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story made me smile. Marlin and Gunner are such amusing characters and I loved the sections where you imagine a conversation between the two dogs. Their antics are well described in a way that made it easy to picture the situations and this made the story even more funny. I hope you'll continue the adventures of this doggy pair...
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Review of Raven-cursed  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
You do a great job at evoking the sound, atmosphere and poetic form of the Viking Eddas here. The imagery, at once brutal and beautiful, is exactly like the Eddas. I thought that the use of alliteration was used especially effectively here.
There are several references to Odin that readers familiar with the Eddas will pick out. However, maybe you might add an explanation of these to help WDC members who aren't familiar with Viking poetry?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent piece of writing that is heart-written and gives a wonderful example of how God works by brining people in and out of our lives. The Owens family sound to have done so much for you and this piece is a nicely done way of celebrating that. It was easy to understand how you felt as you did and the difference all members of the family have made to your life.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a heart-wrenching poem about a healer who only wanted to help the son of the mayor but was branded a witch because of this. It's so sad that historically stories like these were all too true. You created a poignant outline here and it was easy to picture the end of the witch. I enjoyed the opening line about how women were punished for showing themselves to be skilled in the past.
You mean 'of' here: accusations os witchcraft.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Shala's Christmas  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is such a poignant and vividly written story. The fact that Danny died has made Christmas a sad time for his widow, Tiffany. You did a great job of conveying her emotions and contrasting them to those of her daughter who is too young to understand why Christmas might be difficult for her Mum. I was pleased the family had Uncle Jimmy to bring Christmas gifts and cheer, especially to little Shala.
I found it useful seeing how you made every word count in this short story. You followed the writing advice well to cut out redundant words whilst still keeping the meaning of this piece.
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for entry "WdC" Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This poem introduced me to a new word - comity. I looked it up and it is perfect here, so thanks for broadening my vocabulary! Even though this poem is very short it has a nice poetic sound when read out loud and is a lovely way to celebrate the writers on WDC.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I would love to visit unicorn island. Dragons, unicorns and pretty scenery with waterfalls and wild berry plants sounds beautiful. The Princess is lucky living there and the baby dragon will enjoy being there cared for my Celine too. I liked Lancelot as a name for a dragon!
In one place you have missed out a letter from the dragon’s name: ‘Launcelt wondered off’
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Review of The Stars Above  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has an effortless flow and showcases your prowess at using poetic form. I enjoyed the contrasting imagery between dreamy romantic images like the stars and eternal love with lots of mundane responsibilities that the couple share. I also loved the rhyming endings as a lot of modern poems lack these but to mr they are what makes a poem.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hollymerry/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/14