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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hollymerry/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/13
Review Requests: ON
1,474 Public Reviews Given
1,528 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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Review of The Silver Wand  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a heart-warming poem about how special your parents were helping you as a child prepare for a Christmas performance in which you dressed as a fairy. You did a great job of conveying family bonds and how much your parents mean to you. The descriptions of the fairy dress and wand were sweet, I could almost see the wand! Poetic form is used well and the poem has a nice flow.
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Review of Glimpse to Nature  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has a beautiful sense of movement. I like the way that you conjure imagery of moving water first then show dandelions moving in the wind and the motion of leaves and daffodils in the wind. This allows the reader to perfectly picture the scene and adds unity to the poem.
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Review of Finding Plot  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
I've been reading back through your writing advice as I struggled to complete an ending for the novel I'm currently working on. I wanted to say how helpful this piece is about the Three Act Structure. The examples e.g. The Wizard of Oz, made it easy to see how this works effectively in practice. I also found the Save the Cat structuring useful to create a bullet point list of ingredients for an ending which I filled out in relation to the plot of my novel.
I agree that relatable characters, character flaws and a compelling structure are key to creating a good story, so thanks for sharing some tips on how to improve these elements in writing.
The thoughts about what makes a good opening line and excellent and I made some notes about these. I agree that action and emotion are good at drawing readers in. I have signed up to an online talk about opening lines tomorrow so I'll see how well the opening lines they try include fit this advice.
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Review of Night of Lights  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a moving and well written story. You handled the plot well and the descriptions snd characterisation was good. The characters had full histories snd felt like real personalities. The opening lines grabbed by attention immediately and it was nice you harked back to them at the end. It was a shame that the couple split up but I could understand where they were both coming from.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent story idea. It's great that children are encouraged to have an appreciation of the natural world and care for animals and this story encourages this in a way that is easy for children to understand. It was great to read about Johnny meeting the butterfly, squirrel, dog and enjoying being in the wooded area of the park even more than he might have enjoyed the play equipment!
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Review of I found a rainbow  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed this poem about meditating on people you've known and how spotting a rainbow changes your mind and you decide to reconnect and make the most of the relationships with people you know. This struck me as an original subject for a poem and I liked how you brought the rainbow in as it is often used in a symbolic way. I feel the poem could be related to by many people as we all have someone we wish we'd taken the time to know better!
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story made me smile. Marlin and Gunner are such amusing characters and I loved the sections where you imagine a conversation between the two dogs. Their antics are well described in a way that made it easy to picture the situations and this made the story even more funny. I hope you'll continue the adventures of this doggy pair...
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Review of Raven-cursed  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
You do a great job at evoking the sound, atmosphere and poetic form of the Viking Eddas here. The imagery, at once brutal and beautiful, is exactly like the Eddas. I thought that the use of alliteration was used especially effectively here.
There are several references to Odin that readers familiar with the Eddas will pick out. However, maybe you might add an explanation of these to help WDC members who aren't familiar with Viking poetry?


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent piece of writing that is heart-written and gives a wonderful example of how God works by brining people in and out of our lives. The Owens family sound to have done so much for you and this piece is a nicely done way of celebrating that. It was easy to understand how you felt as you did and the difference all members of the family have made to your life.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a heart-wrenching poem about a healer who only wanted to help the son of the mayor but was branded a witch because of this. It's so sad that historically stories like these were all too true. You created a poignant outline here and it was easy to picture the end of the witch. I enjoyed the opening line about how women were punished for showing themselves to be skilled in the past.
You mean 'of' here: accusations os witchcraft.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of maté  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an interesting photo and I'd love to know more about it. The Yerba Mate Gourd looks great - did you craft this yourself? I read that gourd squash fruits are used traditionally but I can't tell if this is a gourd that you grew or a vessel you made by doing woodworking? Anyhow, it is an interesting photo.
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Review of Shala's Christmas  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is such a poignant and vividly written story. The fact that Danny died has made Christmas a sad time for his widow, Tiffany. You did a great job of conveying her emotions and contrasting them to those of her daughter who is too young to understand why Christmas might be difficult for her Mum. I was pleased the family had Uncle Jimmy to bring Christmas gifts and cheer, especially to little Shala.
I found it useful seeing how you made every word count in this short story. You followed the writing advice well to cut out redundant words whilst still keeping the meaning of this piece.
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for entry "WdC
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This poem introduced me to a new word - comity. I looked it up and it is perfect here, so thanks for broadening my vocabulary! Even though this poem is very short it has a nice poetic sound when read out loud and is a lovely way to celebrate the writers on WDC.
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Review of Soul Mates  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a heartfelt, wonderful poem about how much dogs mean to us. As a dog owner, I could easily relate to how much Casey means to you and lifts your spirits with his friendly greeting. The poem was well written and easy to follow. I think it’s a fitting tribute to your four legged friend.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I would love to visit unicorn island. Dragons, unicorns and pretty scenery with waterfalls and wild berry plants sounds beautiful. The Princess is lucky living there and the baby dragon will enjoy being there cared for my Celine too. I liked Lancelot as a name for a dragon!
In one place you have missed out a letter from the dragon’s name: ‘Launcelt wondered off’
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Review of The Stars Above  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has an effortless flow and showcases your prowess at using poetic form. I enjoyed the contrasting imagery between dreamy romantic images like the stars and eternal love with lots of mundane responsibilities that the couple share. I also loved the rhyming endings as a lot of modern poems lack these but to mr they are what makes a poem.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautifully written poem. The opening line is so well put and sets the subject of the poem out in a way that makes readers want to continue reading the poem. The subject of family and growing up is something we can all relate to.
The poem flows naturally through the child growing up and what they learn. The developing character of their child and their character are related back to the subject of family. This ties the poem together well.
The child becomes an adult and marries. However, she realises that she has become influenced by society into being no longer the little girl who her parents taught her to be. This makes her sad and this emotion is poignantly described and powerful. This leads back to the title of the poem, leaving readers with the hope that one day the speaker of the poem will find the happy little girl that she used to be and again enjoy a sense of freedom.
Poetic form was used well here and the poem had a nice sense of flow and rhythm.

Some suggestions:
There should be a full stop at the end of the first stanza.
I also think you should put a full stop after soulmate to make this sentence more impactful and separate the soulmate from the family members that you mention in the rest of this stanza.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Nightingale  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a beautifully written poem that does justice to a lovely memory. I wish nightingales were more common - I have only ever seen one at a nature park. I especially liked the choir of angels image here. The poem is well written and tells a clear, easy to follow story of your memory of the nightingale.
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Review of Rosebuds  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a beautiful poem! The subject matter of God designing each tiny flower so perfectly is full of uplifting meaning. I love how you bring in meditations on deeper things, like the meaning of life and death and God's plan for us. This poem is well-written and works well.
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Review of Fate  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I was impressed by how well you conveyed meaning in a poem that used such short line lengths. This gave it a punchy effect that gives emphasis to each word. The idea of fate can be a harsh concept and also reassuring one as it reminds us of God and his plan for us. You do a great job of capturing this duality and important message here.
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Review of Spooks  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The use of alliterations is strong in this poem and I love the memorable, song-like quality that they lend to this poem. The poem packs in modern office imagery that lends itself to a thought-provoking commentary on those in power and how they abuse their power and cause problems. I like the way you tackled these deep issues in a poem that sounds fun and light due to the poetic scheme that you use.
I notice a lot of modern poems without punctuation, like yours. However, I feel that punctuation improves a poem as I had to read some lines here a few times to understand them without punctuation and this slowed down their meaning. I would recommend adding punctuation to help readers.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a sweet and uplifting story! It begins with a sad moment as a lonely young woman runs into a shop to cry. I like the twist that it was a shop of oddities. The rose coloured bottle was an original idea and worked well, I would love to know more about it. In the end, the shop keeper pieces together that the woman is no longer lonely and that the bottle has worked as she looks happy and is buying things for others, including dolls and a train for children.
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for entry "August 24, 2021
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed reading this thought-provoking piece. You ask some great questions about the teachings of the Bible and how much they matter in our lives.
Thank you for choosing my poem about the Primroses to lead to a discussion of the spiritual meaning of flowers and an anecdote about your favourite flowers, daffodils, and that they mean to you. I feel that God hides messages in the natural world for us which we can relate to Bible teachings.
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Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I loved this story about a boy in a fantasy world and you should definitely continue it. There are some wonderful descriptions. The character of Krug came off the page for me as he was well described and I want to know more about the baby, who we see in Chapter 2 grown into a 15-year-old boy. I liked the setting of the wordsmith shop here.
Imps, elves and a dark mage are mentioned and I loved this - fantasy creatures and great and I want to find out more. Tension is created as you mentioned that followers of the dark mage still exist. Then there was the battle - this was dramatic and well described. This has the makings of an exciting fantasy read.

Some suggestions:
I don't think you need 'area' after 'woodland' in the first sentence.
What do the Celtic markings on the baby look like? They are a great idea, but a bit more description of them would be nice.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of United In Being  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a well-written poem that has a lovely, natural flow to it which matches the beauty of the natural world that you describe. I loved the message of taking joy in being at one with nature. You choose some beautiful images here, using all the senses to make the reader feel part of this lovely countryside scene at nighttime.
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