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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hollymerry/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/13
Review Requests: ON
1,602 Public Reviews Given
1,656 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Your Great Grandma Edna sounds quite a character and I’d love to meet her. Her character being a sweet lady who loves animals but who sticks up for herself sounds great. The scrapbooks sound do pretty - I love Edwardian scrapbooks, also the screens ladies decorated with picture scraps in those days. What a life Edna had - gypsies, rescuing a cow, horse riding, nursing and having a friend on the Titanic. Thank you for sharing her story. I hope you live to be at least 90 like her too!
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Review of The World's Gone!  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem does a lovely job at capturing a child’s wonderment at the natural world. Jessica’s lively imagination is delightful and amusing. The way you write perfectly captures the voice of a child and her curiosity about the weather outside. I enjoyed reading how she thought her school had vanished as she couldn’t see far in the fog. The idea of the sun being broken and wanting to play with the moon are striking - Jessica sounds an imaginative girl with all her questions.
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Review of Man Born Blind  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
A spiritually though-provoking essay in the subject of blindness. Various Biblical examples of blindness are related to modern day life in ways that get readers to meditate on how God works and how they might become closer to Him. My favourite is the part where the disciples ask why God made a man blind and assume it was to punish him or is parents. Jesus replied that God was not using the blindness as punishment but to teach us. I think all experiences come about because God is trying to teach us and we must just look and we will see why he guides us along certain paths and why certain circumstances occur.
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Review of Blessings  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a lovely image this poem conjures up. Birds are often associated with new life and peace. The image of newborn birds flying and spreading hope is a joyous one. It reminds me of the joy of seeing young birds in spring. I like how you use repetition in the lines here, giving this piece the effect of a song.
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Review of Puddle Song  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
What lovely wellies! I love the cute design and he looks so happy splashing in that puddle. You capture the joy of a child at the simple pleasure of jumping in a puddle on a rainy day in this fun and enjoyable poem. I could easily picture the scene and how Kieran felt. It was refreshing to see how rain can become a joyful weather as many adults moan about the rain, but to a child in new wellies it is just the best thing!
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is thoughtful and invites readers to spend time pondering the lines to tease out their meanings. I always think it's the mark of a good poem that each time it is read new meanings are found. The cat philosophically pondering life and death has a modern Shakespearean quality to it. The descriptions are original and astonishing. These were some of my favourites:

he has plutonium eyes
toxic but delicious
a trail of spilled milk
for a tail, nails as teeth
and a hammerhead tongue

and:

instead of fur,
he is covered in mold
as if he were past
his expiration date
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Review of Jessica's Cloud  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Awh, this is such a sweet poem. The idea of Jessica’s name being initialed in the sky as a message to her grandma was lovely. The poem expresses how every everyday scenes like clouds can express special meaning. The family bonds are lovingly captured here.
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Review of Tinker Toy  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tinker looks adorable - I didn't realise you had a dachshund. I have a disabled dog called Merry, he has been in a wheelchair for over 9 years due to IDVV but manages to get around well. He's a great character and I get lots of people stopping to admire his wheelchair.
I'm reading 'Schooled' at the moment and enjoying the characterisation - you have a knack at that. I'll leave a review when I've finished it.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a cute and easy to follow poem. The rhyme gives the story a nice flow and makes it memorable. I love the cute kittens and children will find the poem very visual and amusing. I liked the part where Nell has to take the bus as her broomstick is too small to hold her and the kittens. The different types of hats that don't fit her create a sense of dilemma to her situation.
I'd like an extra section adding describing the hat that Nell chooses so I can picture it - it must be a smart one for her to think of wearing it to the witch's ball!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This touching story of how a kitten helped comfort broken hearts is heart-warming. I love the use of alliteration in the title 'smitten with a kitten.' I was sorry to hear that you lost a pet cat as well as your daughter. Thankfully the sweet kitten came into your lives to provide a caring presence. My friend has a cat called Gobbolino - it's a lovely storybook name for a cat.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was a grim and eerie twist to the traditional Cinderella tale. It brings out the darkness of the original fairytale in which the stepsisters are published by having their eyes pecked out! Here, Cinderella is secretly a murderess who killed her mother and stepmother and stepsisters. You created a frighting mood that befits the horror-story type retelling.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Beautiful! I loved this well-written poem about the princess escaping through the woods to meet the knight she isn't allowed to marry. The wolf surprised her, but he was a friendly wolf and became her pet. I loved the part where the fairy godmother makes the knight into a prince so the princess's father lets her marry her true love. There is a happy ending. You integrated the words of the prompt well.
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Review of No One  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I could see why this sad poem about isolation won the contest. The situation of the lonely woman is poignantly described. I like how you frame her emotions in everyday life. The use of short stanzas and short sentences gives the poetic form a sense of isolation and disjunction that befits the subject matter. Some of the most emotional moments where the children playing in the street and how she feels cut off from the happiness they enjoy, and the woman weeping at night.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a cute poem and I'm pleased the kittens got well in the end. I loved the part where they are pushed to the vets in a pram. I also like the contrasting characters of the kittens with Moon and Merlin taking their medicine whilst Zebedee is mischievous and spits his out. They remind me of little children with their sweet characters and this poem will be enjoyed by children, especially those who like pets.
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Review of Starman  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a romantic, emotional piece. I love how it starts with the familiar romantic image of wishing on a fallen star, then the story of the unnamed main character is revealed gradually. The idea of her dead lover falling from heaven as a star was heart-warming and poignant. You did a great job of conveying the story in a short space.
The contrast between the romantic, epic image of the falling star and the mundane and humorous duck pond image made me smile. Another great moment of humour bringing this piece down to earth was the idea of selling the meteorite on eBay.
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Review of THE STORM  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a dramatic and well written poem. I love how you chose to set this scene in the frame of a child's viewpoint. Rini doesn't understand the full impact of the destruction around her and you foreground this at the end where she picks up her doll and goes to play, despite the storm debris around her.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love how the meaning of this poem is revealed gradually. In line with the subject matter of a tsunami, the mood and tone becomes more sinister as the poem goes on. This prepares the reader well for the final shocking image of a life taken by a tsunami. I like how you chose to personify the tsunami here.
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Review of Have a Nice Day  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has an unexpected twist at the end that makes the words ‘have a nice day’ ironic as the shop assistant actually shortchanged you! It’s never a nice feeling, especially if you realise afterwards. The poem has a lovely flow and the imagery that you use is original and startling. I especially liked the shuffle of bags sounding like a pack of cards being shuffled.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a brilliant and insightful list of top tips for editing writing. Anyone who is a serious writer will surely relate to the importance of editing to tighten the story and plot points - I have edited my novel eleven times and I can see it improving each time. Building in feedback from others is key and it’s nice that you mention this. Building to a climax and creating strong characters are as entail and it’s great you make this point. Thank you for putting this piece together.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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for entry "Trinkets" Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
There trinkets are gorgeous- thank you for drawing them to my attention. I am doing well for trinkets now. They are great pictures and a nice way to commemorate celebrations with the special pictures.
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for entry "Stars" Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a beautiful poem that invests the stars with a special meaning in the context of a relationship. I have just wtittten a poem about stars so I wanted to see how you approached this image. I loved the original and memorable image of crayons at the start of the poem. You include both TV stars and actual stars in the sky here. I like this contrast. The poem is well written and has a nice flow.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a wonderful idea. Environmental issues are close to my heart and the collected writings here foreground this. The quotes you choose are emotive and inspiring, conveying the idea that we must care for the earth as it is our legacy and nurtured us. Thank you for foregrounding these issues on WDC.
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautiful poem! I hope that it was read out at the wedding as it would have been perfect. I enjoyed the repeated refrain of green turning to gold that gives the poem the effect of a song. This image was also perfect at symbolising the wedding of the pair who find each other after having both endured sorry as they lost partners. I hope they are very happy together.
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Review of Mother  Open in new Window.
Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a moving and beautifully written poem with a powerful message. It's great to draw attention to how much we should take care of Mother Earth and this emotive poem encourages readers to do all they can for the environment as you personify earth as a loving mother that we are hurting. Her pain is shown through natural disasters like tsunamis, mudslides and earthquakes.
Near the end you have an s by mistake in face.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by HollyMerry Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Salvadore is a cute name and perfect for a teddy. Pandora is nice too. I'm impressed with how many nice names you come up with for your characters. It was lovely to see Pandora realise Santa is real as Salvadore is a special friend of his and rides in his sleigh. This was a great festive tale and made me feel Christmassy even though it is only September!
What's a Sophomore year? We don't have these at school in the UK. You wrote: 'Pandora was entering her Sophmore year of high school.'
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