*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/howellbard3/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5
Review Requests: OFF
667 Public Reviews Given
675 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 4 -5- 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
101
101
Review of A Son To Meet  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
*RainbowL* I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.*RainbowR*

*RainbowL* *MugB* Overall Impression:A sensitive poem about pain and grief, this tugs at the heartstrings.*RainbowR*

*Vine1* What I like: The presence of dialogue in a rhyming poem. I like how realistic the tale is.*Vine2*


*Vignette2* *Think*Problems and suggestions: There is some minor disruption to the rhythm once or twice. If you can find it, you might want to work on it. If not, it was just my language use is different from yours. *Vignette2*


*BalloonR* Comments:Well done!*BalloonR*

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing *Smile* !

Elizabeth
102
102
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Clever, Clever and funny, too. Thanks for sharing.
103
103
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
*RainbowL* I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.*RainbowR*

*RainbowL* *MugB* Overall Impression: This is a ballad explaining the advent of humans on earth in a rather "whimsical" way.*RainbowR*

*Vine1* What I like: The Whimsey creatures, and the detail provided so I can picture them. I also like the title. The rhyme and rhythm work well. *Vine2*


*Vignette2* *Think*Problems and suggestions: The only thing I didn't like was in the first line:"there were a time," as even though I understand the use of this word in this context, it remain gramatically incorrect and makes me uncomfortable. As a consequence, I had to start over and think about that before I got into the poem. *Vignette2*


*BalloonR* Comments: A light hearted read that I enjoyed reading. *BalloonR*

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing *Smile* !

Elizabeth


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
104
104
Review of After The Bath  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This free verse poem reviews body image experiences with lush language and beauty, and I really like this poem! it is easy to identify with, has depth and purpose and is all around a good poem! Thank you!
105
105
Review of Druid Forests  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is wonderful! You stick to the form and let it support what you are saying rather than giving a feeling that it is somehow restricting what you say. The content has depth. I love this poem! Thank you so much!
106
106
Review of Life Goes On  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oh my! How very sad. This is the kind of poem that is always well done as it is real. Thank you for sharing.
107
107
Review of Heaven  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this. it is lovely and sad and true.
108
108
Review of Ex Nihilo  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
General impression: This is about creation, the immensity, the astonishment, and the joy.
Form: a twelve line poem of rhyming couplets 4 beats to a line.
content: Using complex language, this is a hymn (not with music) in grand style.

What I like: I like rhymes and rhythm and this suits especially well. It is hard to write about the grandest things that, to me, seem too big for words. Here, you have let your spirit soar and shared the experience effectively.

Things that might have room for improvement:
In the coldest part of a nebulous place
is a blackness deeper than the deepest space as I read it, there is an extra "the" before deepest that feels out of rhythm
A masterpiece formed out of the dark I wonder if "fashioned" might work better than "formed" to continue the rhythm
in a violent, powerful, luminous spark
Eruptions bring forth matter and light
universal existence through space and time
Expanding faster than life begins
to shoulder itself on solar winds
Brilliant stars are taking form
while in His image we are born
From a Word all is made Consider from a single word all life is made, Or from just a word our world is made (again, in the interest of rhythm){/c
and there was morning, the first day ... I like the spondee at the end for lots of reasons, even though, it breaks rhythm, because it gives emphasis

Summary: I hope you are okay with the critique. I really like this poem and my way of speaking may not sound like yours.
109
109
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
General impression: This is an imaginative tale of a young man, age 17 coming face to face with mortality. The young man is not happy and is not doing well in his life and struggles with feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. He is sad and uncertain. He makes a choice that will change everything.
Form: A prose piece, this is described as a first chapter.
content: The author describes this as a young man making a deal with the devil.
What I like: I like the clear description and the effective presentation of the boy and his dilemma. I like the mystery about the man in black. I like that I don't know why Jennifer has drawn the man in black in class.

Things that might have room for improvement: I felt, after reading the whole thing, that the "prelude" was unnecessary. I would rather just have the story unfold, which it does very nicely.

Instead of remembering his dad was using his car, it would make more sense to me if he just sees that his dad has taken the car, again, without asking. There is nothing in their interaction that would suggest planning had taken place.

Kyle's interactions with Jennifer do suggest infatuation. However, it is important to understand that Josh is not attacking him because of this. He is saying that is his reason, but Kyle is afraid of Josh because of previous attacks. and it is too soon for him to see himself as liking Jennifer. It seems to me that Kyle would not have his feelings sorted out this early in the relationship. Consequently, in the part where Kyle is attacked by the 4 boys, I think the drawing of Jennifer is not needed. As there is no mention of the drawing earlier, it seems disconnected. Besides, Josh is a bully and does not need the drawing to motivate his behavior. He has bullied Kyle for a long time. Bullies don't need a reason. They bully to make themselves seem big and powerful in their own eyes. It would be normal for Kyle to see himself as a victim, but to see the cause as his own inadequacies. I hope that later, he comes to realize he is in no way the cause of the bullying.

Summary: Thank you for prodding me to read this. I enjoyed it and I look forward to chapter two. I would like to point out that I know little about writing novels, so I don't know how much help this is. Keep up the good work.
110
110
Review of Sunday Breakfast  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
General impression:
Form: Flash fiction
content: This is about a young couple trying to figure out if they have mice and what happened to the cereal in the box.

What I like: It tickled me that neither of them knew how to tell if they had mice. It also tickled me that the mice outsmarted them.

Things that might have room for improvement: Something about the transition to new characters was confusing. I'm not sure what I would suggest: perhaps a description of the voices or a locattion.

Summary: fun and well done. Thanks for sharing! Keep writing!
111
111
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, Bubblegum Jones! What a celebratory thank you note! I imagine it took a long time to go through and identify everyone. How very thoughtful! Congratulations and good luck with your second thousand reviews!

Elizabeth
112
112
Review of Sarand  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
General impression: This fanciful poem recounts a dream experience.
Form: Appropriate to the topic, the author uses metered verse, rhymed couplets in 4 line stanzas, Iambic rhythm, but uneven line lengths.
content: A narration of a fantasy, identified as a dream, with a quality that suggests the speaker may be an indigenous person.

What I like: I like the fantasy, the dreamlike feeling, and the end that is also quite dreamlike.

Things that might have room for improvement: it would help if the author would decide on a line length and stick to it. This might involve rearranging the order of images. For example, lines 3 and 4 could read something like:
a man walked close across my land
red eyed, he spoke, "I'm called Sarand."

I see a few problems with my suggestion, but I'm trying to show that rearranging images can be done without losing the feeling in the poem.

Summary: I really like the images and mystery of this poem. Thanks for sharing. Keep writing.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
113
113
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
So Keaton,
I am so glad you believe in equality. As for poetry, this is playful and serious at the same time. I find it interesting that you present the speaker as you do: a man who believes in women's rights, and would protect women, but then defends his right to exploitative behavior directed at women. I think this is an apt description of some basic problems in our culture that remain to be resolved as the feminist revolution goes into its next phase. You said it well and with humor.

As for problems, I found the following a bit awkward and not quite clear: "Now all that retardedness being said
And their inability to drive being skipped"
It broke the rhythm and made me stop and try to figure out what you were saying.
Also, "There keeping it classy, at least for two lines" made me stop. I think it is a punctuation problem. The movement and rhythm are very strong and important to this piece, so it is worth the trouble to work on it a little bit more.
Thank you for sharing this. I really enjoyed reading it.
Keep writing!
Elizabeth
114
114
Review of The Visitor  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well done! I like how it conveys mixed feelings about the weather.
115
115
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR* This is a brief news report about a significant event at a university.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like that it is straightforward and contains the basic facts one would expect from a news story.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2* There are several English usage problems:

On a complaint of sexual harassment , against a teacher of Ahssan Ullah Science and Technology University has been arrested. OR A Ahssan Ullah Science and Technology University teacher has been arrested on a complaint of sexual harassment.
tThe name of The teacher, Mafuzur Rashid Ferdous, who has been was arrested last night by the police of Kalabagan police station.
SI of Kalaban Police Station Thakur Das told the different Medias reporters or the media that a case of sexual harassment was filed against Mahfuzur Rahman Ferdous with Kalabagan Police Station last night and the police arrested him and kept him in prison a jail cell.
On the complaint of sex harassment on a female student the university authority suspended the teacher facing a huge protest from the students. (I can't tell if the protest is about the sexual harassment accusation or about the arrest.)

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR* English is a hard language to learn. I deeply respect your hard work. I hope you will find my comments helpful.I would like to see your corrected version.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
116
116
Review of Unchanged Legacy  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

Jawhar has written a very convincing story about living in a place and time filled with war and how the fighting gets passed generation to generation. Even the language use matches the content.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the suggestion that there are forces trying to not participate and others who see it as their duty to rebel against established governing structures. This seems realistic.


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

It is hard to paint a realistic viewpoint about multigenerational war in 300 words, so this, in order to stay with the rules, is a narrow view of complex issues.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Despite the limitation, it is a very convincing tale.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
117
117
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:
*RainbowR*
This is a brief poem sharing a feeling of awe about writing and thinking and a feeling of awareness that even a few words can have powerful impact both internally and in the world.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the image of wind through aspen trees. I seems to me as if the wind is the thought and the rustling, flashing leaves are the words.


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

You might consider using "rush" instead of "rushing." It seems to me it might increase the communication of the power you are describing.


*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Well done!

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
118
118
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello there!
I love using dreams to make poems. They are so rich in imagery, and seem to often have meaning to a lot of people. I like that you ended with the "non-ending" of the dream.

I wonder how this would look if you never mentioned it is a dream, or mentioned it only at the end, and if you fleshed out the images with more detail. The way it is written, I can feel the energy and anxiety, but I can't actually see the story of the poem.

I hope you will keep thinking about this and strengthening your ideas to make it the fine poem you have clearly begun.

Please remember, I am not a professional writer and these ideas are only one person's thoughts. I make suggestions, and you are free to ignore them or use them as suits your thinking.

Thank you for the interesting read and,
Keep Writing!
Louise is Elizabeth
119
119
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I found this in the "Read a Newbie" list and read it because I am interested in people writing for teens about body image.
This is a heartfelt letter to teens who worry about body image, and appears to focus primarily on girls. It appears the goal is to give girls permission to be different and focus on self expression. The author reassures the girl there will always be someone who will love her as she is.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the hopeful and accepting tone of this letter. I also like use of the quote from an old movie that today's youngsters have most likely never seen. The grammar and punctuation seem to be good.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

This letter feels like and adult giving advice to a teen. Heartfelt as it is, and true as it is, my experience with teens is the pay little attention to adult advice. I think metaphor might work better like a story about a fish and a bicycle.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

The writing in this piece is good. I think the content would be more effective if provided metaphorically

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
120
120
Review of Got Milk?  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is really funny in a dark sort of way, creative. I enjoyed it very much. (I am reviewing the first part separate from the sequel.)

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The movement from simple to complex - the old tradition of how to tell bad news - is always good for a laugh. The 4 year old getting ahead of his parents wakening in the morning is always good for a laugh. But the business about milking the dog - that was something one doesn't see every day.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I can't see any thing I would change.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Thanks for a good chuckle.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
121
121
Review of The Abduction  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I am smiling. This story tickled my funny bone. I can just hear the speaker telling this to the police. My, my, my; how hard they would have to work to keep from laughing in the speaker's face. They probably did.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I especially liked the spots of sunburn. Great ending!

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

The image I had in my head of the speaker beating out the rhythm of the music was with her/his hands, but then, they are full, so I got a little distracted at that point.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I think you could have a lot of fun expanding on this a little bit by adding more detail, once the contest is over.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
122
122
Review of Twirl Me, Please  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

What a challenge and you did it! You deserve kudos for just making something that makes sense from that!


*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The visual image is rich, colorful, and the comparison of the yo yo string to a lariat is excellent!


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I saw no problem. I looked in the ideanary for a substitute for Lumber but I think that is the best one can do with within the limitations of the prompt.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Excellent work, very creative.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
123
123
Review of The Sound  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading this. There is a typo about half way through and I forget where and what so this isn't much of a review. I really enjoyed reading. Thanks for posting your story.
Louise is Elizabeth
124
124
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Well said. Thank you for sharing.
Louise Wiggins is Elizabeth
125
125
Review of Me and Binky  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is a "rant" told in the first person and written in dialect.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The use of dialect gives the piece authenticity. The ending actually caught me by surprise. At first I thought the old friend would show up as a doctor, then a police officer. I never thought of the judge until he was introduced. I think this is a sign of strong writing. In addition, the way it is written, although the speaker is a rogue, I can have sympathy for him.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

Perhaps you don't live in the USA, but the speaker's trip through the legal process was unrealistically fast.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Thank you for the entertaining read.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
294 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 12 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/howellbard3/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/5