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667 Public Reviews Given
675 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Tim,
I like the optimism and clarity of this. Good work!
27
27
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Matthew,

I found your poem on the Read and Review page. I see that it is a new posting by a new member. Welcome to WDC!

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression: This is a free verse poem about a personal experience. Then I read the title. It confirmed what I suspected; a poem about ADHD.

What I Like: I like that someone is putting into words a very common experience. The third stanza summarizes the experience in general and the last stanza is immediate, happening now.

Improvements you might consider: I see nothing to improve about the writing. However, as one who has lived with ADD all my life and with family members who have ADHD, I wonder about the staring at the ceiling part of this. I don't remember seeing my ADHD relatives sitting and staring, though I can do that quite well. I wonder if the author could elaborate more on what is happening that allows the stillness.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Let your imagination flow and keep writing it down!

Louise's name is Elizabeth
28
28
Review of Exile  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Lobelia,
I found your poem on the Read and Review page.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression: very concise and interesting
content: a meditation on Joseph from the Hebrew Bible
form: free verse with some informal rhyme.

What I Like: I like the sound, and the use of the sound of the hammer to mark time.

Improvements you might consider: I never thought of Joseph as an old man when he went home.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it.

Louise's name is Elizabeth
29
29
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for this, Dave. I like how you think about it. I like how you write about it. No unnecessary words, all focused on the topic, and I like your sensitivity. I see nothing to change. Keep up the good work!
Elizabeth
30
30
Review of Ponder and Feel  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jatog,

I found your poem on the Read and Review page.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression: this is a well-written villanelle that focuses on the relationship between humans and puppets.


What I Like: I like the image of the "figurehead" as it has a complex meaning that is quite useful to this poem. I like the use of Pinocchio as he wanted to be real, to be a human being.

Improvements you might consider: In stanza 5, line 3, should be "human beings," plural rather than singular.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it.

Louise's name is Elizabeth
31
31
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Prosperous Snow,

I found this on the read and review page.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression: This is a loving poem for the dead.
form: free verse without rhyme, but it is quite rhymical, though not formally so.

What I Like: I like the use of light as a means of communication with the spiritual realm. I like the sense that one can bring comfort to those who have passed.

Improvements you might consider: I see that this poem was posted in 2018, and respect that change may seem wrong at this point. Nevertheless, I think the first and second lines of the third stanza could be improved. At a minimum, I would use light instead of "lights." I wonder if it would work better to say "let your supplications bring light to the darkness".

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it.

Louise's name is Elizabeth
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32
Review of Columbia  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Winklett,
I found this on the Read and Review page.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression: I'm glad to read a poem about this very sad event, and glad that it is good!
content: This poem honors the crew of the Columbia Space Shuttle.
form: a free verse lyrical poem.

What I Like: I love the imagery of the swans and how the author uses the sun and light to connect the reader to an event that took place more than 35 years ago. The swan image brings in the value as well as the vulnerability of the crew.

Improvements you might consider: I have no suggestions.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it.

Louise's name is Elizabeth
33
33
Review of Mystery Aquatic  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello winklett,
I found this on the Read and Review page. I see that you wrote it nearly 20 years ago!

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression: Lyrical and imaginative.
content: This poem considers the possible origin of a mysterious sea creature.
form: Free verse

What I Like: I like the "self" description of the creature, especially "The subducting ocean crust was cradle, and bioluminescent home."

Improvements you might consider: I don't know if you would want to fool with this in any way. I'm not sure I would, but if there is anything that could change it would be the last stanza. I wonder if the creature could say something about its death, or about its impression of things outside the ocean that would be as lyrical as the rest of the voice of the creature?


Thank youfor sharing this. I enjoyed reading it.

Louise's name is Elizabeth
34
34
Review of For Andrea 2  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Beholden,
I found your poem on the "Read and Review " page.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression: Lovely!
content: This is about imitation as a form of honoring someone.
form: Chronos-S, a form I never heard of before. Done to form.

What I Like: I like the directness and simplicity. I like the last line.

Improvements you might consider: I see nothing I would change.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it.

Louise's name is Elizabeth
35
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Review of Tom Yum Gai  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Kingssidecastle!
It looks like you nailed it! I think I can smell it. Had I an Asian market nearby, I would make some. However, there is a Thai restaurant in town that makes outstanding food. I can go there. Thank you for sharing this. You well deserve the award you received for it.
Elizabeth
36
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Review of Warnings  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello T.L. Finch

I found your poem on the Read and Review page.
,
As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression: Cool! A poem I can agree with!
content: This is a description of global warming and human contribution to the problem.
form: Rhymed Quatrains: abab, cdcd etc.

What I Like: I like the topic. I love the ballad form. I like "where the water meets the land," and the third stanza best. I didn't know finches could type. Good that you are speaking up on their behalf.

Improvements you might consider: I see that this is a fairly old poem. It might be a good time to read it aloud and discover any rough places in the meter and rhyme. I stumbled on the last line of stanza 3, "miracles witnessed from afar" in stanza 4, and the very last line.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!

Louise's name is Elizabeth
37
37
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Tim Chu,
I found this poem on the read and review page.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression: The content of this piece is vital, something, when understood, that improves all members of any community. It is well written and thoughtful. However, it reads more like a letter to the editor or a short journalistic article than a poem.

What I Like: The content is sensitive, accurate and helpful to the reader. I would like to add, Tim Chu, that your writing is improving noticably.

Improvements you might consider: I wonder if the author has ever considered saying this in a story or using metaphor. By doing this it could be a very interesting poem, or prose story.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing.

Louise's name is Elizabeth
38
38
Review of Shoes  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I like this! Thank you for sharing it! So poignant and true.
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Review of Grave Thoughts  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
And the ninth ward just got hit again...
Very sad.
Thank you for your poem.
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Review of If Only  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Lani,

I found your poem on the read and review page.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression:
This is a 5 stanza unrhymed poem dealing with regrets.

What I Like: I like the direct expression of normal concerns. The last line makes clear this is a commonly experienced middle-age slump. It is clearly described and easy to identify with.

Improvements you might consider: I would like to know what this person is planning to do about the mood. It could be sensible or absurd. The persona needs a plan to cope with these feelings.

Thank youfor sharing this. I enjoyed reading it.

Louise's name is Elizabeth
41
41
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Don,

I found this on the read and review page.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression:
This is a balad or song form about the wrong weather for Christmas.

What I Like: This can be sung to the song "The weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful...let it snow, let it snow, let it snow." It is a fun spoof.

Improvements you might consider: The second line does not quite fit the rhythm.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing.

Elizabeth
42
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Review of Transition  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Hunter's Moon,
I found this on the read and review section.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression:
Three linked haiku focusing on the afterlife.

What I Like: I like "gossamer thoughts" and "buoyant rising" and "aeternum's lanterns." At first, I read "aeternum" as "atrium" but quickly saw that was wrong. I had to look "Aeternum" up, which is good.

Improvements you might consider: I see no need to change anything.

Thank youfor sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!
Elizabeth
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43
Review of No Help Comes!  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
There was a story on the news last night about a woman who grabbed a child sitting next to a dead parent just before getting on the bus to escape. You have given voice to this child. Thank you.
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Kathie,
In response to you taking time to read and comment and present an award to me, I decided to peek at your Portfolio and do a review or two.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression:
This is a free-verse poem expressing concerns about the war in Ukraine in first-person voice speaking to President Putin.

What I Like: There is lots of rhyme, consonance, and assonance in this poem giving it a feeling of a ballad. The musical quality places it in the long tradition of political poems. It helps that I agree with the sentiment, as do most citizens of this world it seems. I also like the undertone of empathy for Putin and especially for the citizens of Russia caught in the battle. In stanza three, I hear the people of "Whoville" singing to the "Grinch." They are such kind people. The underlying message that Putin cannot steal our happiness sounds loud and clear. The best line of all, however, is "A comedian has made you a marked man."

Improvements you might consider: As this is a new poem, I suspect the author will be doing revisions. These suggestions focus mostly on sound.
Stanza 1. The plural of Folk can be folk.
Stanza 2: you might consider "Not worthy of even a Russian fool."
Stanza 3: Black widow is a great image, but not great rhythm. I wonder what else would fit?
Stanza 4: The author increases power by using a trochee. On the other hand, "People's" or "humanity's" lives would improve rhythm.
Stanza 5: consider a synonym for "end" that would improve rhythm such as "closure." I like "the worms will eat your entrails."

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!

Louise's name is Elizabeth
45
45
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello Hawkeye Pete,

I found your essay on the read and review page, twice. I thought the second time meant I should read it. I'm glad I did.

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression:
This is an essay about a personal growth experience.

What I Like: I love the title. It intrigued me and made me want to read and find out what it was about. I like your approach to telling your story. It is matter-of-fact and focused. I suspect you were really surprised when that journal showed up. What a wonderful thing he did for you!

Improvements you might consider: I didn't notice anything I would change.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. And, congratulations on your growth!

Louise's name is Elizabeth
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46
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression:
This is a free verse description of gull feeding behavior.

What I Like: I like the onomatopoeia, the vividness of the description, and the happy tone of this piece.

Improvements you might consider: Wow! I didn't know gulls did that! I like this poem. "I didn't know that is a thing" is current slang and is unlikely to become part of permanent usage. Of course, it could. I like it, as does the author, apparently. However, if this piece is to stand the test of time, it might be wise to find another way to say that. On the other hand, perhaps it is good to memorialize the phrase. Who knows? It really is up to the author.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!

Louise's name is Elizabeth
47
47
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Though this is a serious topic, it tickled me and brought a smile to my face. Thank you!
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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is powerful! Well conceived and interesting. You could probably improve language a little and work on rhythm since dance is so important. However, I like it as it is.
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Review of The Legacy  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Imagine that!
It seems there could be a second act where they struggle with what they found and what to do with the magazines and whether to share them with other family members. There could be a conversation with their parents. What did they know? The parent's response could be really funny.
Thanks for sharing this!
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Review of Hanging in There  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello

As you consider my comments, please remember, I am just one person with my own perspective. Please use what helps you express your ideas and ignore the rest.

First impression: A well-written Trolaan about rock or mountain climbing.
content: Interesting narrative. The first stanza suggests a certain amount of denial in the mind of the climber as he uses trite phrases to describe his mindset. The second stanza starts to reveal the real risk.
form: true to form. There is something like climbing in the form moving forward on the second letter is like stepping forward two small steps at a time. The form itself helps with the movement of the poem.

What I Like: I am able to identify with this even though I have never done rock climbing.

Improvements you might consider: The last two lines of the second stanza seem weak to me. The author is trying to describe something very dangerous but using words that to me, merely suggest inconvenience.

Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing!

Louise's name is Elizabeth


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