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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/howellbard3/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
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574 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of Filters  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is a very thoughtful reflection on identity spoken by a 17 year old individual that examines the role of cultural filters in development of personality. It is interesting, well written and articulate.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The speaker does not reveal an identity right away, and then does so in some challenging images: "Androgynous teen
Who dresses like they’re in a band." I also like the speaker's take on the topic.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

This is not a problem with the piece so much as an idea: I wonder if the author couldn't effectively expand this topic into and essay that would include examples from other adolescent's known to the writer. I also wonder if the author would consider writing a spin off poem describing the look mentioned in the poem as a metaphor. My only problem with the piece is that it reads more like an essay than a poem, in my mind.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

The author is doing some high quality, mature thinking about a subject in the hart of every adolescent in the modern world, and does so with skillful writing.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
77
77
Review of Got Milk?  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is really funny in a dark sort of way, creative. I enjoyed it very much. (I am reviewing the first part separate from the sequel.)

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The movement from simple to complex - the old tradition of how to tell bad news - is always good for a laugh. The 4 year old getting ahead of his parents wakening in the morning is always good for a laugh. But the business about milking the dog - that was something one doesn't see every day.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I can't see any thing I would change.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Thanks for a good chuckle.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
78
78
Review of The Abduction  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I am smiling. This story tickled my funny bone. I can just hear the speaker telling this to the police. My, my, my; how hard they would have to work to keep from laughing in the speaker's face. They probably did.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I especially liked the spots of sunburn. Great ending!

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

The image I had in my head of the speaker beating out the rhythm of the music was with her/his hands, but then, they are full, so I got a little distracted at that point.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I think you could have a lot of fun expanding on this a little bit by adding more detail, once the contest is over.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
79
79
Review of Twirl Me, Please  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

What a challenge and you did it! You deserve kudos for just making something that makes sense from that!


*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The visual image is rich, colorful, and the comparison of the yo yo string to a lariat is excellent!


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I saw no problem. I looked in the ideanary for a substitute for Lumber but I think that is the best one can do with within the limitations of the prompt.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Excellent work, very creative.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
80
80
Review of The Sound  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading this. There is a typo about half way through and I forget where and what so this isn't much of a review. I really enjoyed reading. Thanks for posting your story.
Louise is Elizabeth
81
81
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Well said. Thank you for sharing.
Louise Wiggins is Elizabeth
82
82
Review of Me and Binky  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is a "rant" told in the first person and written in dialect.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The use of dialect gives the piece authenticity. The ending actually caught me by surprise. At first I thought the old friend would show up as a doctor, then a police officer. I never thought of the judge until he was introduced. I think this is a sign of strong writing. In addition, the way it is written, although the speaker is a rogue, I can have sympathy for him.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

Perhaps you don't live in the USA, but the speaker's trip through the legal process was unrealistically fast.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Thank you for the entertaining read.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
83
83
Review of Your Name  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is spoken in the voice of an adolescent girl and it feels authentic when I read it.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

Content is grandiose, dramatic, like teen girls sometimes sound. There is also a superficiality that gives the speaker a quality of immaturity.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

The bold font matches the mood and content, but is difficult to read.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I enjoyed reading this. Welcome to WDC.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
84
84
Review of Glimmer  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is a rhythmic description of sleeplessness related to writing giving credit to "The Glimmer Man," an unwelcome muse.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The title caught my attention and the poem kept it. I like the rhythm and the images.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

There are a couple of places that caused me to stumble, where the rhythm seemed to break.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Although there are things I question about rhythm, I think this is a delightful read.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
85
85
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

Who would write a poem about a soup can? Someone creative like Andy Warhol.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like how this starts with a soup can and moves into photosynthesis and a moody sun in just 30 words. I like the images and the picture that is created.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I wonder if the first two words are the best possible choice. I had trouble understanding what they meant.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I am delighted by this minimalist poem.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
86
86
Review of As clear as wings  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wonderful. It leaves me wondering how to came to this. The cat, so wise, so witty. The dialogue - just wonderful!
Thank you,
Elizabeth
87
87
Review of The Composer  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is wonderful! Thank you!
88
88
Review of Fourthmeal  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I happened upon this by reading someone's poem that I liked, going to their port, and reading their review of this poem. They gave you 5 stars and said they wished they had written it. Well, I agree whole heartedly. This is so witty, wry, intelligent and concise, I wish I had written it. This deserves a life beyond WDC. Thank you.
Keep Writing!!!
Louise is Elizabeth
89
89
Review of Hunger  
Rated: E | (3.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is a powerful poem examining the impact of social context on the issue of hunger. It uses contrast and rich imagery to convey understanding.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the opening image, and the structure using the word hunger to introduce each stanza. The writer uses contrast very effectively. The end is excellent.


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

In edit and revision, the writer has the opportunity to turn sound writing and good ideas into art. In this case, elimination of unnecessary words would make a huge positive impact.
For example:
"It sits like a cold stone
within the bloated belly
of the young boy
who has not the means
to satisfy his mortal appetite."

could be:
"Hunger
a cold stone within
the bloated belly
of a boy's unsatisfied
mortal appetite."

In the interest, apparently, of keeping the word "hunger" only at the start of stanzas, the word "it" is used excessively. Synonyms for hunger could strengthen the poem:
"it took the newborn" could read:
"starvation stole the newborn..."
This approach also strengthens the personification used for impact.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I have found it very helpful to read poetry and memorize verses I find especially meaningful or beautiful. This builds my sense of rhythm, efficiency of language and imagery. Pay attention especially to Shakespeare, Longfellow, or T.S. Elliott. Your biography lists only favorite prose writers. I hope one day to see a poet or two in the list.
You clearly see the value of poetry as a means of eloquently expressing your wisdom. I hope you will develop your skill in this area more fully.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
90
90
Review of Days go by  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is a sad poem about hopelessness.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the rhythm and use of sound.


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

Because rhythm is a strength of this piece, the first and last lines could use some revision to bring them into the pattern of the rest of the poem.


*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I hope your next poem will be about bright colors.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
91
91
Review of We Are Not Unique  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is and interesting meditation on uniqueness. It is well written and thoughtful.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the insightfulness of this piece. I like that the writer took time to think this through and express it well.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

In the third from the last line, unbelievably is misspelled.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I hope you continue to ponder things like this and share what you came up with.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
92
92
Review of Doubting Thomas  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I read this after reading a review on the public reviewing page. I knew it would be good, and it is. The rhymes are smooth and it reads like natural speech, like the dance in the form. It communicates very well what so many experience in their spiritual lives. Thank you for sharing it.

Louise is Elizabeth
93
93
Review of The Cold  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

The visual impression, shape of the poem, expresses the mood quite well. The images move the reader from hopeful anxiety into the depth of grief.


*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the over all use of contrast between warm and cold to communicate emotion. This is effective and powerful. I also like how in a short piece the depth and intensity of the struggle is so completely communicated.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

There is an apostrophe that seems random. Is it a typo?


*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Overall, this is very well done.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
94
94
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

You go, girl! Well said.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the over all tone of the poem, the attitude. Uppity Women unite! Imagine blaming the love object for difficulty in loving. Garbage!


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

The second line seems to be missing a word.


*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I would write it differently, but, it's not my poem. I think you have been more tactful than I would want to be. *RollEyes*

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
95
95
Review of Ashes  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is an emotional poem, written in first person creating the impression it is the poet's experience. If not, this is a sign of excellent writing.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

'There are two divots in my mattress
One you fit in
The other stinking with man I stuck in.
Your lie is a hole my love sunk in
And this book's sink, too.
You only think I got over you.
The truth was a straw
You sucked my gut with.
It was a stool you sat on
To beautifully fool me."

'You give me days like scabs
Nights in sacks
In ashes.'

It seems to me, this is the meat of the poem. It contains the richest images. It conveys the situation and complexity of the speaker's emotions quite effectively.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I did not need the rest to understand what is going on. As written, this sounds so personal I probably shouldn't be reading it.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Lots of good stuff here. Hope I didn't step on your toes.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
96
96
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I hope you are getting a lot of reads on this. It is delightful. Did you hear about the member of Parliament that used the "my underwear was to small" excuse. This would have been so much better for him to use!

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like how well written this is, the flow, and the creativity. It is funny and I don't know how you came up with this from those words. I love the rhymes and that they are not in a regular pattern. A regular pattern would not have matched the mood and tone of the poem.


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

My only suggestion is I hope you do another one sometime and share it.


*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Well done!

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
97
97
Review of The Forecast  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

In light of the current weather across the US (accept Florida and Arizona,) this is a very timely little septet. It made me smile.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like how much feeling you got into so few syllables. I like being reminded things are better "above the clouds."

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

The weakest part of the poem is "a voice says." It isn't something wrong. It is hard to think of other ways to say that in three syllables. I would consider "my reply."


*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

This is delightful.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
98
98
Review of Dad (Smokey)  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is a powerful description of ACOA experience, and of healing. You are brave to take the risk of facing it, and of sharing it.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The last stanza in the first segment is wonderful in it's expression of mixed feelings. The shifting from adult to child and back is also very effective.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

In the stanza starting "Here's your CIGARETTES" I am a bit confused by the coma at the end of the 4th line. Also, I wonder if "it seemed" is necessary at the end as you already made clear three sentences earlier this is about perception. I also wonder if you need the first line of the last stanza as you go on to show you are inclined to believe.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Not only is this well written, it has depth and says something very important. I realize this is personal and hope the suggestions are useful and hope I haven't tread into the personal content. I am glad I had the chance to read it.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
99
99
Rated: E | (5.0)
My entry
De-icing  (E)
poem from experience with winter flight
#1801792 by Louise Wiggins is Elizabeth
100
100
Review of Near the Fountain  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I would like to go sit by this fountain with you, as you have communicated so well how it is a reflection of mood, and how it enhances emotional expression.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the words at the end of each stanza: "symphony, sympathy, and harmony."
I like thinking of the water as a source of music. I also like that it ends with a feeling of harmony.


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

Third line, first stanza: Music blends (not blend)
Fourth line first stanza: I would consider dropping "a" and saying "in joyful symphony" to improve rhythm.

second stanza, fourth line: I found the words "it's own" disconcerting. They don't enhance my understanding, and, they break the rhythm.

last stanza, last line: read aloud and consider dropping "in." Again, I find this an interruption that doesn't enhance meaning.

I am not a professional writer and don't know if I'm right, but one of my editing rules is read aloud, slowly, then fast to discover bumps and disruptions.
Then I ask myself if the disruption enhances meaning. If not, I find another way to say it. Another way of saying it is eliminate all unnecessary words and keep a clean rhythm. Perhaps you are already following these rules. Your writing is excellent.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I hope you found this helpful. If not, please let me know.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
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