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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/howellbard3/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
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574 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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126
126
Review of Farewells  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

Very well done!

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*
This uses quality language and does not sacrifice content to fit the form.
I love these lines: "no predictable direction,
but the eloquence of solitude,"

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I just don't understand "to voice of victory."
I can't see how it fits in the rest of the poem.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Keep up the good work!

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
127
127
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I love talking about the weather. Who doesn't. This was a good read. I had no idea the drought that hit west Texas went so far east.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the reference to Rush Limbaugh. Don't you wish he had to spend a summer like that with no rich man's comforts? Of course, he is rich because he is stupid. Go figure. Anyway, it all makes one wonder.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I really don't know if this is an essay or a poem. It doesn't matter, I guess, what it is, but, from the form, I expected poetry.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I am surprised more people aren't writing about weather here on WDC.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
128
128
Review of When Mama Wrote  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I wish I had known Mama. She sounds so lively and creative!

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

This is a wonderful portrait of a creative woman. I love the images of the bags and of the roller coaster. I especially love the last stanza. She clearly is in your heart.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I don't see anything I would change.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

What better way to honor creativity than to write a poem!

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
129
129
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

The feelings in this poem are clearly presented, title fits content, and some of the metaphors are excellent.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like this stanza best:
"He was the song in my heart, the leap in my limbs,
the twinkle in my eye, the light that never dims."
The rhythm is strong and consistent, and "the leap in my limbs" seems totally original. The end rhyme is strong, and there is both assonance and consonance throughout. It sounds good.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

The two weaknesses of this poem are uneven rhythm, and some phrases are overused including "twinkle in my eye, song in my heart.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

This is a very good effort, I am glad I read it, and I hope you will continue to revise and turn it into an excellent poem.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
130
130
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is as clear an expression of loneliness as any I have read.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like that no happy ending was forced onto the poem. I like that there are several details of different expressions of the feeling. I like the image "I cried until my eyes were dry."


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

The title suggests a journey, but when I read the first line, I almost stopped reading because that overused phrase suggested there is no depth to the poem. I'm glad I continued, as there is lots of depth. I would suggest describing the trip into misery in a more novel way.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I don't know if this is a true personal statement or just a poem. If it is a personal statement, I hope you get lots of readers and reviews so you will know someone heard. Also, in writing, I hope you see more clearly the choices you are making so you can see alternatives that can help you feel your own life in every minute of your days.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
131
131
Review of A Sad Song I Sing  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I really like this! Many relationship poems bore me, but this is fresh and interesting.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the unusual use of language. It is not standard English, but you are using the words in a distinctive and original way. I love the first two stanzas and this line "I start to stop what I say,"

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

In the first line, "start" should be "starts. In the last line of the third stanza, "eyes" and "colors" are plural, but "looks" would be used with the singular, so, "looks" should be "look." I don't understand the second line of the 4th stanza. In the second line of the 5th stanza "make me standing on my own," "Make" and "standing" don't agree. "Leave me standing" or "make me stand" would be correct.
"But this path keep is getting longer" You can use "keeps" without "is" or "is" without "keep."
"A mellow tune start to fade away" You can say "starts to" or "fades" without "start to."

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Even though I have suggested corrections to make this fit standard usage, there are places that I deliberately did not suggest change to a more standard approach because the non standard usage gives the poem charm. In fact, I don't know how much I would change this to standard English. You are the poet. You decide.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
132
132
Review of Holding On  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I love it! I have a quote pinned to my bulletin board - forget where it came from - goes something like this: a definition of poetry might be a clear expression of mixed feelings. This fits that definition to a T!

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I love the last line, and how the poem builds to it. I like the brevity and the intensity.


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I see no problem.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

If at first you have held on, then, and only then can you let go.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
133
133
Review of Tag  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This sincere elegy speaks to the heart of any dog lover with passion and emotional power.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like that it is written from the dog's perspective.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

The content is excellent. The rhythm is problematic, and seems more so as the end approaches. Then, finally, the form of the poem seems to disappear. This is forgivable in an elegy to a loved one, but, if you want it to be a good poem, this could use some work.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I appreciate the opportunity to know about Tag.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
134
134
Review of Secrets  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR* Hi, and welcome to Writing.com. It looks as if you have come to the right place. This is an excellent first poem.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the depth of emotion and insight in this poem.
"But all secrets do is simple
They exploit what mankind lacked" This is very thought provoking.

You have a quality in this poem of making it a sort of secret by never revealing what the secrets are: state secrets? personal secrets? secret formulas? While all through the poem there is clearly a shadowed mood, it is not until the end that you reveal just how painful all of this can be, no matter what secrets they are. Rhyme and meter can soften or emphasize the mood of a poem, depending on the language within. In this case, it emphasizes the discomfort attached to the secrets. The reader and speaker are pulled forward, not knowing what secrets are present or how they will impact their progress.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

The content of this poem is fascinating. You could improve your rhyme and rhythm. (Now, understand, people say that to me all the time and I do get exasperated. It is your poem and you don't have to change a thing if it is how you want it. I assume you want feedback to make it better or you would not have posted it.)

The way to evaluate rhythm/meter is to mark strong and short accent lines above each syllable thus:
, , / , / , / ,
But all secrets do is simple

The dickens of the thing is arranging, replacing and rearranging words to make the rhythm the same in every line with the same number of beats while retaining meaning and using the meter to enhance understanding of the meaning, if you are writing formal rhymed poetry. When I get discouraged, I look at Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, who was writing by hand without our modern helps like a thesaurus on the computer and a rhyming dictionary. If he could do it that way, I should be able to do it with all this help. However, it is hard. So then, you get to choose, free verse or formal verse. Which will carry your message best. (Perhaps you know all of this. If so, please just ignore.) In this case, I am glad you chose formal form.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

This is a great first poem. I assume there are many efforts before this and this in not the first poem you have written. It shows a capacity for thinking poetically.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
135
135
Review of Blue  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

It is very hard to write a small poem well. This is good.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The simplicity and clarity of image, and the repetition in the last lines.


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

In short poems, every word gets notice. Each word must move the poem forward, and if it doesn't, it needs elimination or replacement. In your second stanza:
"Music resonates
Lifting the soul
And still
Nothing but blue"

Consider eliminating "and" in the third line. If "still" is set by itself, it stops the mind on the word and suggests there is more to the word than is obvious. Still means now, and again now, and without movement, and if you go to a rather oblique interpretation based on the use of that word in the middle of "distill," it suggests purity. Then, it also refers back to the two sentences above and forward to the last sentence suggesting:
music that is pure, moving without moving, present at any given moment
lifting the soul, in the now, and again in the next now, lifting without strain, offering purity to the soul, presenting stillness, calm, without contaminants or distractions, and all fulfilling. In this context, the "and" adds nothing, and can distract from the power of that single word.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Lovely work with color as image.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
136
136
Review of Beauty  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is a lovely meditation, the sort of meditation that suggests new awareness and contains wisdom.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I love the images, just one after another, many of which are true, and trigger awareness to the uncommon:
"But even in the slums of India there is beauty,
And even in the depths of despair there is beauty,
But the most beautiful gift is the ability to notice it,"

This is wisdom.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I think you could improve this by working on sound, assonance, alliteration, rhyme. The content is lovely and valuable. You have some lovely sound here and there:
"It's the screams of laughter in a water fight,
And the magic of fireflies in the night,
Beauty is the essence of life,"

I would just like to see more of this: Laughter, water, fire
fight, flies, night, life

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

This is headed into true beauty.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
137
137
Review of There is in me  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

An interesting exercise in building metaphor. I like this.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the World War I soldier as an athlete. What power that conveys! And, it is not commonly used- it has originality.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

"When I am happy there is in me a juvenile child alone in a candy store"

Juvenile and child mean the same thing. I suggest using one or the other, but not both.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

When I think of a child alone in a candy store, I think of the 5&10 of my childhood in the small town where my family shopped. It was packed so full of things you could hardly get through the aisles. The candy counter was in front, and well lighted, but the back of the store always seemed dark and a bit cavernous to me. I think I would have been a bit afraid to be be there all alone with all that stuff hanging off the walls and ceiling and packed tight on the shelves. I bet this is not the candy store in your head - perhaps in no ones head but mine. I just wanted to share that image. It has nothing to do with your poem. However, now that I consider it, perhaps this is a lesson that an image does not mean the same thing to every reader, and it explains why people ask for more detail when they critique our writing. Hmmm. Something to consider.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
138
138
Review of Silent Hero  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

Very descriptive, and, it presents the reality that most heroic events remain in the heart and memory of those directly affected and go no further.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like not knowing who the speaker might be until the very end. I like the suspense; hard to do in such a short poem!

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I suggest moving "With fangs ready
and claws sharp"
to follow "you were there"

The tense is inconsistent, sometimes present and sometimes past.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Interesting, a lot of drama in a few words. Very poetic!

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
139
139
Review of STILL IN TIME  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (3.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

A sad self examination highlighting the choices we can make and the impact of these choices on our mood, sense of worth, and feeling a part of things.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I have copied and pasted the entire poem, and highlighted in pink the best lines, and made comments about problem areas on the side in blue:

As I hesitantly grow older, I love the image of hesitancy
The others grow older too.

Growing stagnant,
I watch others flourish
on, I suggest eliminating the repetition of "on"
Bettering themselves,
Moving on.


A painful growth,
My memories on standby.

I can't help but see families grow I suggest "I see families grow"
And hear of prideful adventures
.

Growing stagnant,
I've nothing to share.
Excellent!
Still, all alone, I'm still consider: Still, all alone and still
As time etches forward.
I like this image

Motionless in time,
With not a thing to show
Save the wrinkles and gray,

Emphasizing my pain. consider "mapping out" or "pictures
of my pain"

Growing this painful growth,
Watching the others grow older
As I grow stagnant, still.
The repetition of "grow" seems
excessive.
Possible synomyms might
be "experiencing" "progress"
"advance"


*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I offer the suggestions because this poem has a solid idea and some lovely images. It is worth refining, revising and strengthening.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
140
140
Review of Dear Dad  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A beautiful Simply Positive Reviewing Signature
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I certainly identify with this. It is hard to type for the tears in my eyes.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I love the idea of the letter to someone receiving him on the other side, and that for little Lucas, it is his grandfather.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

In the fifth paragraph, there is a typo: "had be compromised"
I wonder if you would like to say something about your dad being his grandfather.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

No person has the right to judge the choice you made. They were not in your situation, so they have insufficient information to make a judgment.
Thank you for sharing this. I will/does support anyone who has had to face the loss of a child. Also, thank you for the care with which you wrote it.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

Elizabeth
141
141
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This seems like a real conversation between parents and a child. It is honest and seems well reasoned.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the rose metaphor and relating it back to the child's scale.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

As I said, this seems very real, like people really do talk to their children. The question is, write the poem about how many or most people actually operate, or about how especially effective parents operate?

If the latter, then consider this:
The poem gives the impression that the conversation is with a young child, one who still plays on a swing set. If this is the case, there are too many words. Young children cannot attend to such a lengthy explanation. I would skip the part about pets.

Also, this could be improved by giving the child a chance to talk earlier in the poem. For example, the parents ask the the child to think for herself what would happen if all of the roses lived and provide the child's answer in the poem, rather than the parents saying "imagine" and then telling her the picture her imagination should create.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

This is fundamentally sound and very good. Identifying with the child suggests a different approach from identification with the parents.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

*ButterflyG* Elizabeth
142
142
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

A lovely and fitting metaphor.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

It is very easy to identify with the speaker.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I think some attention to rhythm would improve this considerably. There are places where the flow is smooth. Other places, the break from rhythm is distracting.

For example:
"I've played my part,
My ballads are sung.."

"I've" refers to both lines: I've played my part
I've sung my ballads.

Therefore, you could say: I've played my part,
My ballads sung. (as in my ballads I have sung."

Following that logic, lines three and four could be part of the same sentence:
So loud was the applause,
It's echo, around the curtains hung..
would become:
To loud applause;
It's echo around the curtains hung.

To preserve the smooth rhythm thus established, it is acceptable to us 'round instead of around.

I offer this only as an example of a logic that sometimes helps me smooth out rough spots in my writing. It is totally up to you and your muse to decide if it fits your vision for this piece.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

A very promising piece!

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

*ButterflyG* Elizabeth
143
143
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

At first, this doesn't seem like a murder mystery. Then, when the issue of murder comes up, you wonder if there ever really was a murder.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the patience of the caregiver, who seems to be uncovering her own history. I wonder if she will use the bella donna on the old woman.


*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

The caregiver calls the old woman "Mrs. Wyman" at the beginning but then says she is the granddaughter at the end. I wonder why she would call her Mrs. Wyman if she is the granddaughter? Did I miss something?

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Interesting character, this old woman. Really makes me wonder...

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

*ButterflyG* Elizabeth
144
144
Review of A Father's Love  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is full of emotion and the struggle to cope with a tragedy the child did not remember, but never lived without.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

Sensitive, caring both for the speaker and for the father of the speaker. I was relieved the father finally spoke his truth to his son.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

There are a number of places where the rhythm is disrupted. Getting that right takes time. I hope you do.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

This is poignant and interesting.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

*ButterflyG* Elizabeth
145
145
Review of Ariadne's Thread  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.


*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

Well, if this is a beginner's poem, I can't tell. It contains all of the elements required, and paints a meaningful and interesting image.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*
This is thought provoking, carries a lot of image and information in its 22 syllables. I think you got the idea.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

No problems found. I really tried to find a problem. I really did! *Smirk*

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

*ButterflyG* Elizabeth
146
146
Review of War and Peace  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

A well done Villanelle rich with emotion about a universal concern.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I especially like the next to the last stanza. I am impressed with the quality of vocabulary you used in an aba bab aba rhyme pattern.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I can't see a thing I would call a problem and I have no suggestions. I feel the tiniest bit of strain in the two middle lines of the last stanza. I don't know if anyone else feels it. I don't know if, given the strictures of the form, it could be improved.

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Congratulations! Excellent work.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

*ButterflyG* Elizabeth
147
147
Review of Hide & Seek  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

I wasn't supposed to be reading this. I was supposed to be working, but I just wanted to see, after reading the introduction. I told myself it would only take a minute. But, now that I've read it, I must do a review. I don't know if that is a rule, but, this deserves a review and since I'm the one who just read it, I am the one who must write it. Isn't that how it works?

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

This reminds me of many conversations with my father. I love the logic and I love the surprise ending.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I suppose I could find a problem if I looked hard enough. Nothing is perfect, after all - or everything is perfect. I don't really know. Anyway, in my very enjoyable read, I didn't notice anything. Besides, I'm supposed to be working.


*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I am glad there is no paint spot on my shirt today, though it is cloudy and a bit of brightness would be welcome.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

*ButterflyG* Elizabeth
148
148
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

What a very familiar story: I don't know if the tears in my eyes are for Mama, or for my own parents, who are also now gone.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

The story stays focused on Mama while including the experience of her child and siblings. It is accurate, without judgment, compassionate, and realistic.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

If there were problems, I did not see them.


*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

Very well written.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

*ButterflyG* Elizabeth
149
149
Review of Our Pet Spider  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

Great Story! It shows the natural compassion and respect for life that we encourage or discourage in children.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the way the whole thing challenged the rest of the family. This is an example of how one child can impact the entire family in a situation were everyone is accepted and respected.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

A single typo in this sentence:
"We spent a week shuttling most of our belonging to the new place"


*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

An all around excellent story.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

*ButterflyG* Elizabeth
150
150
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.

*RainbowL* Overall Impression:*RainbowR*

This is an interesting way of describing a person, by listing things they said.

*Vine1* What I like:*Vine2*

I like the simplicity of the presentation and how it pictures the complexity of a teen girl mind.

*Vignette2* Problems and suggestions:*Vignette2*

I'm not sure how I feel about starting every sentence with "that."

*BalloonR* Comments:*BalloonR*

I hope your teacher liked this at least as much as I.

*Earth* Thank you for sharing.

*Quill* Keep writing!

*ButterflyG* Elizabeth
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