|I am reviewing as part of the Simply Positive Review team. I offer my opinion based on my limited experience. It is only one in a world of opinions and yours to use or ignore.
I feel like I was sitting there next to you listening. So many mixed feelings are clearly stated without ever saying "I feel."
What I like:
I like the voice of the speaker. I can almost see the bright eyes of the young woman still looking at the world from that aging body. The rhythm and use of language paint a clear picture.
Problems and suggestions:
I offer these because this is an excellent poem with very minor issues that may all be in my imagination, but if they are not, could be easily corrected.
There are two typos where a space precedes a comma.
Line 1: "I sit here silently alone and think of times gone by" might fit rhythm better as: "silently alone I sit and think of times gone by"
Line 3: "No one will sit and listen, I ask them , take a seat"
This could be stated in a way that directly speaks to the reader and invites:
"Take some time to listen; come on now, take a seat"
Line 6: If you change line 3, then this line might need a revision to match, but also might be just fine as it is.
Line 11: try it without the "and" - see what you think about the rhythm.
Line 15: consider using "as" instead of "and"
Line 16: How would it be to say "I've tried to grow old gracefully etc." instead of the "you" statements. Again, this would have the speaker talking directly about herself to the reader. I realize this is based on an actual conversation and it might be important to you to say it the way your Mum said it. Perhaps you might consider putting her words in quotes.
Line 17: grass and stars don't rhyme: "wild flowers?"
Line 19: do you need "and?"
Last line: It seems there is an extra syllable that breaks rhythm.
As I said, each of these is a very minor issue and might be my reading rather than your writing. Perhaps I wouldn't think the same about it tomorrow. Perhaps I'm just wrong. Please, ignore what doesn't fit and understand, I really like this poem.
It seems that you are giving a voice to a generation of speakers. I wonder if there is a way for you to share this with the people in your Mum's circle. If not, I hope, at least, you have or will share this with her. She will love that you listened to well. I love that you listened so well, and wrote it down so well.
Thank you for sharing.