The poem made of i continuous lines has been written in a questionnaire format with no apparent rhyming.The theme of love seems to be well defined. Although life is but only temporary man has a tendency to quarrel over trivial matters.We have become so material that we disregard our relationships because of wealth.In fact there is no progress without love.In the prose part you have stressed more on the importance of love but without actually showing it.
The poem is constructed in irregular stanzas and free verse. The topic is well exploited and gives the reader an idea about the effect of darkness on human beings.Indeed it is scary for children who have preconceived ideas about monsters.But many adults also can't sleep in darkness.The are affected by agoraphobia.The poem needs a refinement about the stanzas which are too long.
The story is portrayed in the future with Bobo the clown who has no longer any job as nobody wants to laugh. The patient who is discharged from the hospital also seems to suffer from amnesia. he does not remember his previous life. When getting out of hospital he encounters Bobo who is more miserable than him.He wants to laugh but only the death of the latter makes him happy.
You have emphasized the importance of water in the life of human beings. The six stanzas are evocative of the numerous functions of water. It is also the symbol of purity.In fact our body constitute of 70% of water.Without water there is no life.However, I think there is too much repetition of the word water. I have also written a poem on the same topic.Read it if you have some spare time.
The story depicts the state of mind of John when he feels that death is following him.Although he tries to escape it comes closer to him.The wave of death is pursuing him further and further.At that specific moment what 's his reaction?Will he face death or avoid it?But it is unavoidable.The body is destroyed but not the soul which is eternal.Who can run away from demise?After all we are all mortal
The piece of writing which does not look like a poem consists of questions only.Is this a new style? I don't know under which category should it be classified..What does' IT life 'represent? It seems that the lover is allergic to the girl. Although he doesn't hate her yet he is distant from her'can't stand sitting near her'
In the four stanzas you have used good rhyming.But there seems to be a confusion about the title whether it's the bread or the girl you are describing.. You begin talking about the bread then immediately you switch on to the girl.There is a sensuous painting of the'beauteous rapture'However, you need to clarify the topic.
The poem is well structured in six stanzas with scattered rhyming here and there.There is a vivid description of spring and the prevalence of good mood every where.The different creatures like the eagle and the fish have been well portrayed.Indeed it is a rejoicing season You could have also commented on the sky.
The poem constructed in continuous lines has partial rhyming. You have outlined all the sufferings women have to undergo. In fact, almost all over the world daughters have to bear a lot of hardships .Ever since the creation of the universe it has been like that.But this is more prominent in India.In all the three roles of women as daughter, wife and sister they are born to bear.
The poem is very straightforward and to the point.There is consistent rhyming although it 's written in continuous lines. Indeed the best time to write is early morning which is most appropriate for inspiration.With the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings you are in a good position to create image and words.However , there is more scope for expansion.
The poem is built in five stanzas with rhyming in alternate lines.You have analysed the intimate relationship between the man and the girl describing the sexual pleasures as an important part of this bond.But it does not seem to be pure and real love with the presence of lust .How can the love be rich when it is based on lust and sex only?
You have given a beautiful expose on sunset. Indeed it must be marvellous to admire the last hour of the sun. I have been to the seaside many times and got the opportunity to admire the scene.It creates a very baleful effect on the mind.Of course there is part of heaven on earth which man is gradually destroying.
This poem looks different from the conventional ones with a combination of long and short sentences. However, it seems well constructed with equal lines in each stanza and constant rhyming.Of course, every one must be himself/herself without trying to hide behind a mask.Even if sometimes reality is hard to face yet who can escape it?.In the last stanza have you evoked auditory hallucinations?
It is obvious that the style looks a bit weird with all the long sentences which are decorated with rhyming.The stanzas are constant with equal number of lines in each one.You have prepared the setting for a dinner but actually for another person.And you have not elaborated about the sexual tension.In fact, now there are two guests for dinner.
The mishap which occurred to you was provoked out of mere negligence.. In my opinion kids of such age must always be under constant watch to avoid problems .You were morally upset. You confided him to a relative who does not appear trustworthy.In her quest to engage in conversation she overlooked the child.It's the responsibility of the parents to care for their children.Fortunately you found him safe and secure.But one thing which comes out of the event is the bravery of Josh.
The poem is written in continuous lines with free verse style. You have laid much emphasis on the act of sleeping.In fact, sleep is a form of death.Many people dream about death but they are still alive in the morning.It's the effect of the subconscious mind.But how far is the theory of reincarnation true?
The poem is well structured with equal number of lines in each stanza except the last one. I like the constant rhyming throughout and it flows smoothly. The theme is not new but you have exploited it in a different way.However you have not given a single hint about her feelings.There are lots of emotions before being able to express the love.If now you don't tell her someones will and you will be left behind.
This piece of writing is a combination of prose and poem but it is written in a different style.The use of different colours symbolise the varieties in life.White for purity, red for the sun, rose for love and violet for the sun rays.You are in search of freedom by' trying to break the cocoon .You are trying to imitate Keats through the 'Nightingales'
The poem is built in continuous lines without any significant rhyming The style looks somehow odd.There are two main elements on which you have put emphasis-light and darkness.The setting also is serene with prevalent tranquility.The people walking on this road have no final destination.They wander her and there in search of light.
The short story describes the consequences of the spatial war which has affected nature.The setting looks well worked out with some good descriptions of the sea and its surroundings.The sudden appearance of the girl out of nowhere tends to divert the attention of the reader.After much reflection Kane holds her hand as a sign of peace.
The poem is written in a different style with a combination of short and long sentences. Obviously, with such a structure only free verse can be adapted to it.The contents are logically true and justified.It goes without saying that death is an equalizer. One thing which perhaps you have not mentioned is about the rich and the poor.At this stage both are equal. Moreover, the miserable ones don't have to carry anything with them when going six feet down and it applies to the opulent ones also.However, the presentation needs some refining.
Your query letter to the publisher has the necessary information looking for an opportunity to be published. But you have described your character Dalonn without introducing him.The publisher wonder who is he?Moreover, there are also some punctuation mistakes like the first comma in the fifth line.You have not written about your experience in writing novels.
You have painted the real picture of the state of mind of Caleb.He has been working on so many theories that now he cannot differentiate between them.He is lost and confused.With an over exertion of the mind it will inevitably fail to respond which may be the cause of his dementia.The concept of guilt also seems to be tormenting him.Will he be able to reach home?
From your story it is deduced that you are making a flashback of your childhood period which is undoubtedly the best time of life.At the age of eight is obvious that children tend to explore the opposite sex out of curiosity.Your hamster is also an important part of your life.On returning to your first abode you have experienced mush nostalgia.
An interesting story narrating how an assistant magician emerged to become a better performer than the magician himself.The description of the performance itself definitely creates goose flesh in the body of the reader. In a certain way the illness of Pierre was a blessing in disguise for Samantha as she got the opportunity to perform a solo show exposing her talents. But you have mentioned the jealousy of Pierre without elaborating its consequences on the couple.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/jaguar/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.29 seconds at 11:03pm on Jun 15, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
