This interactive offers some intense ways to go. Usually the Vore genre sticks to humans but this story takes it up a notch introducing the fate of getting devoured by animals into the mix. At the time of this review this story was already coming along really well with close to 200 chapters set up. It gives a wide range of vore scenarios with with a lot of great location and characters it could happen with. As a GTS fan, my favorite chapters are the human devourer ones such as the opening college arc and one with Elizabeth I really appreciate the range and depth though. I think one thing that you could do to help the story develop provide some slow builds. A lot of the chapters written are very short. The characters don't need to find themselves about to be eaten immediately. You might have them start off their days normally and go about their lives before finding themselves in the unfortunate situation. There are a lot of options for how they might get like that i.e. transformation and shrinking but it is good to expand on them. In any case kudos on a good interactive!
This Poem does a great job of making me visualize Springtime. It feels vibrant with Mother nature coming to life. There is a lot of personification and metaphors in this poem. The way things are described makes me think of light and earth as lovers as well as earth / nature as a woman coming to life in the spring.
The Poem shines best with its descriptions. They really paint some vivid pictures... "Spring's seeds scattering and the firmament's aglow stand out".
In terms of wordplay this poem has some great alliteration "beguiling beauty in the second line "Light loosens his (yearly) virgin lover" leading into the second stanza. I also love some of the word choices "Verdant, firmament and slumber really make this poem pop. Great writing.
This is a very good story. It is very sweet. Like "The Call of the Wild" written by Jack London. The perspective is written from that of a Dog. In this case the dog was abandoned.
The story is written very well as we get a great insight into what the dog is thinking. He has a simpler mindset but there are enough feelings and thoughts to personify him. It makes him relatable and readers are rooting for him to be able to find a home. As a result, the sweet ending with the dog being able to find a family becomes all the more rewarding.
There is a slight correction that I would recommend. In the second sentence:
"Wondering" should be replaced with "Wandering"
Other than that...it was a really enjoyable story to read and I liked it a lot.
Self reflection is a great way to start off the year. I like the concept of writing to yourself. It a great way to organize your thoughts and analyze yourself. The letter is written very smoothly and flows well working as a tool to identify who you are and then expanding that into what personal goals that you are hoping to accomplish. Wish you the the best of luck achieving the goals listed out.
I was in New York just outside of the city when the World Trade Center was destroyed on 9/11 back in 2001. It has hard to believe that it has been over 20 years since that time. You are right in your analysis that it is very hard to completely recover from that event. I think we have healed a lot but that loss of trust is still always there. Even going to an airport, it is apparent that the security is more extreme. We have lost a lot of freedom that we just to have in an effort to improve safety.
While a lot has changed in the last 20 years, I am not sure we can trace all the current problems that are dividing us in America today to 9/11. It has been building for a very long time even before the twin towers were destroyed. There are a lot of economic and feelings of frustration around us. We seem to have lost our kindness. I always like to be optimistic and hope that things will be better in the future but it will take some work and a huge amount of growth and cooperation from everyone.
This is a very thought provoking article and essay. Thank you for writing it.
Nice Shrinking poem! It is pretty good as the narrator's reaction is unexpected. Shrinking to 4 inches seems like it would the main cause of concern for most people However the fact that the narrator feels unnoticed at normal height adds a twist and amplifies the situation. It is a profound thought. Thank you for writing and sharing.
Wow this is definitely a wild idea. As a comic book fan with atypical tastes myself, I definite appreciate stories that push characters in unexpected directions. This interactive is still in developing stage but you have some nice setups going. The best arcs added so far are the opener with Scott and Jean. You seems to have a some contributing to it as well. Hopefully this story continues to grow.
Wow I didn't know that cats could be trained like that. These are some really good set of tips. I will have to keep them in mind. From the title of the article I thought it was going to be about teaching cats to do different types of tricks like dogs but getting them to behave is much more useful. This article is very well written and clear with its advice making it easy to understand. It should prove to be really useful for pet owners attempting to raise a feline companion.
Exciting Flash story!! You really took great advantage of the story prompt. It's a very interesting twist writing from the perspective of the baby thief. I wasn't completely sure if it was a Goblin or some other type of demon / monster. Goblins are famous for doing this (i.e. in the movie Labyrinth and more recently Dr. Who) though probably others do it as well. The fact that that the creature had wings that goblins aren't made it all the more menacing. You did some great incorporation of changeling lore and mythic elements in your story with the replacement with wood and the vulnerability the creature had to Iron.
I really like the slow build (considering it is a Flash story) where it starts normally and the third sentence shifts the tone leading more and more into the fact that were are dealing with a monster. Great work!!
The is a powerful work it captures the love and loss a person has for their pet/friend. The reader definitely feels how close the narrator is to passed away subject of the poem (Jimmy) and much he is missed
I am not sure if it a fiction or non fiction. If it is autobiographical this is a great eulogy. If it fictional, it captures the loss of a best friend / long time companion really well. Thank you to the author for writing and sharing this!
You have a very nice style of writing creating distinct and relatable characters. The situation of stage fright was depicted very well and you could visualize the main character going through it in the story. Sentences like "her knees shook and her hands started to sweat" really provide readers a great description and allow them to feel the emotions with the character. It seems to fit the Show not Tell activity that this was written for very well. You do a good job of setting up the situation with high stakes with a Disney Talent Scout present in the audience.
I also like the resolution that her friend was able help the lead to overcome her stage fright by getting Lisa to relate with the character she was playing. Alice comes across as a very good friend and it was nice seeing her help support Lisa and get through the performance. There is a little bit of a parallel between the actors in the play and the characters they are portraying as Elsa and Anna also wind up needing to support each other in the Frozen.
It is a fun way to end the experience revealing that Lisa still is shown to still be affected by anxiety giving it a slight comedic beat.
There is one line in the story that I needed to re-read to clear up in my mind what was occurring: "He startled me," Lisa whispered, helping her out. - You may just want to give a couple of extra words to clarify that she was joining the teacher in picking up the scattered items. My initial thought was that Lisa was getting help for her stage fright.
Other than that it was a very good read. Thank you for writing it.
This is a nice interactive. You choose a great time period placing it between the turmoil period between episodes 3 and 4. It's a good setup and allows for the Empire to be at fun strength and classic villains such as Darth Vader and Palpatine to be able to take center stage in this. The interactive is pretty well developed with several chapters and authors contributing to it. There are a lot of familiar faces from the Star Wars universe as well as Original characters giving the readers and writers of this interactive to play with. I hope that you continue to build it.
That is a busy life you are describing having three jobs to handle. It is also a very wide range of roles. I can relate to the juggling and can understand why you would prefer to jettison one of them. This was a nice entry. It seems to follow the prompt well. Best wishes in 2024 and hope that you are able to find the balance that you would like.
I love cool test items. That is a really neat feature. That cat trinket looks very cute. If I am understanding the item correctly, if my review for this reaches 250 characters something with this trinket will happen. I am curious to see what will occur. It is very exciting like watching a countdown!!
Nice story. It feels like a lead in to comedic spy plot. It definitely had a great hook with the narrator receiving mysterious notes.
There are a couple of proof reading errors that you might want to update:
cabins air conditioner - cabin's air conditioner (Possessive)
steak-out - should be Stake out (steak is used for the food)
Was this some type of shady deal going on - should have a question mark at the end
waiters suit - should waiter's suit.
The plot of the short is really exciting as it had a mystery in it. I love the surprise ending. I can't blame the narrator for continuing to be curious. I'm left wondering “piter pypur puked a pek of pikeld peepers” was intended to mean and wanting to follow the mysterious. I feel like the premise of this story could be expanded further into a larger arc. There is definitely room to continue the story further if you wanted to and I would enjoy reading more of it but it works very well on a short of its own. Really fun writing!!
Nice poem. I like the title. Right off the bat it reviews an image. The description in this poem is really good. I love the description of her hair as Caramel with Vanilla strands. There are some great choices of works. For example using words like elf, leprechaun, fairies add magical quality to the subject of this poem.
There is a fairly smooth flow to reading this as loose rhyme a little bit of reading to it. The poem itself is great. I also really like the brief description given for the poem. It is nice to know that you took inspiration from your actual life Beautiful writing!!
Good poem. It definitely paints some powerful images. It is particular strong with the sounds depicted playing to to the readers auditory sense with the titular bells, car horns and electronic music discussed. There are some great visual queues as well describing the world as a concrete jungle, traffic and clubs. It makes the reader feel like they are a traveling through a busy city when they are reading this. I like the "Somewhere in the world" refrain.
The ending of this poem seemed to be really sweet with the bells still reflecting in the narrator's heart. It seems to show the narrator still religious connection to them as the bells were linked with the church in the beginning. It is a nice symbolic element.
There may be one slight edit that I recommend. "Deafen by car horns" seems a little awkward. It feels like the tense is off you might want to edit the word to "Deafened". Other then that... great poetry.
Very cool premise. Fairy Tail has a lot of fun characters so it is a good anime to chose to write about. Swapping is a fun concept as it is interesting to see characters take on different roles. There are a nice variety of swaps suggested to give the story some range. All of them offer some wild ideas. I like the idea of a life swap. It seems like a fresh concept that has not been done before
This interactive is just starting out so it has a lot of growing to do. I hope you continue to develop it with other authors. It seems to be developing nicely though with chapter 7 (the latest at the time I was reading this) setting up the first storyline nicely.
One quick editing recommendation:
In the title description it seems like there's a slight spelling error. -> boardm -> board
Other than that... keep up the great writing and best of luck with this story.
(Note I Re-reviewed to set it as a public sorry about the double e-mail.^_^; )
This is a good interactive. I love Yugi-oh so its a fun idea. The series has a great fantasy world. It was a smart move to divide up your story by seasons. The chapters available are also very well developed and written out. It makes the reader feel like they are part of the Yugi-oh world. I give a lot of credit to you for actively working to make your interactive grow and add a ton of additions to your story. A lot of interactive owners neglect to add to
I hope you eventually add arcs from the last season. That was the most exciting one for me when Bakura traps them in Ancient Egypt. It would make for a really exciting storyline.
One thing I strongly recommend is when adding new choices to title the chapter. Don't just leave the default continue choice as a title. It is much easier to navigate the story outline if people can see what title they are navigating to.
Anyway... really great work with this interactive and I hope it continues to develop and grow.
This is very good poem. It reminds me of the classic poem "Paradise Lost" as the subject of the poem seems to be a fallen Angel. I like the contrast between the third and last stanza of this poem. The first is all light while the last deals with shadows.
There are some really nice refrains and I like how the Angel is called to in the beginning of each stanza and there is a note on the character's current state beginning with "Oh, how..." for each Stanza ending line. There is also clear awareness of the syllable count of each line as each as they match up correctly in each stanza. It makes this poem so much smoother to read.
The verbal description is very good. You can picture the the three phases the Angel in this story goes through really well.
There appears to be a slight typo in the first line of the final Stanza. I think the word should be Stricken
Nicely Crossword. Great set of creative clues and WDC related words. It definitely targets the Writing.com audience. I am surprised I was able to solve this one through especially with the member clues. It means I've been on this site way too long. The most challenging one was "A few words Here and There"... Poem didn't immediately come to mind. I really enjoyed taking this. Excellent puzzle!!
This short story describes a moment really well making it very easy to visualize. I feel like I am in the car with Terry. As the snow is falling around her. The 3 paragraphs describe a lot learning where the character works and what interests. It could be a good lead in for a larger story. It seems to end very abruptly but it is enough to showcase a strong writing style and the ability to depict a scene. With class exercises, it would be interesting to know if there was a prompt to get a sense of the goal behind the short scene. Even if the assignment is freestyle I feel it would help the reader appreciate this piece more. You may consider adding an author's note section at the bottom describing this.
These are good suggestions. You may want to include some tips on how interactives are setup. One of the most important things when setting up the interactive early on is to choose the options carefully. The first chapters have more options then later chapters so it is important to take advantage of them early. Don't waste choices by adding only 2 options in Chapter 1.
Another thing to keep in mind as an owner is you have to be willing to add to your interactive. The rate of return is low. People will add 1 chapter to a story for every 5 you put in. It is important not to be discouraged.
I love the 4th and 5th recommendations. It is always better to write with a friend and planning is always a great idea.
The comedy is strong with this one. Though its advertised as a lousy poem. It seems to be 5 minutes well spent and definitely made me smile. You managed to even fit in a rhyme scheme.
Some of the rhymes feel like they are so bad they are good i.e. grudge-l. I admire the bravery in using them.
For poetry I recommend keeping track of the syllable count to make your work pop out more. Example cutting the syllables down in line 8 would make it sound better i.e. "her cudgel went straight for my head" though that may take more time to think through.
Also a really nice touch listing Gothic and Horror/Scary as the Genre. It made it so much more funnier when I found out what the poem was actually about. Well Done!
First off I really like the title. It gives a nice visual image to the reader almost immediately and made me want to view its contents right away. This is a very complex poem leaving the reader to follow a story going through the stanzas. It really does an excellent job capturing the emotions of the narrator. As a reader I got the sense that she settled in an unhappy marriage. I can't tell if the lover she is dreaming of has passed away or has just gone down a different path than the narrator.
The dreams described give some vivid visual images of a life that could have been. I think there some powerful images revealing the narrator's hopes/laments such as the house shopping and the wedding band. It gives me a sense of sadness while reading it.
In terms of style the poem has a soft flow to it with a light rhyme scheme that makes it easier for the reader to enjoy. It is a really good poem that I enjoyed reading.
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