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Review Requests: OFF
1,259 Public Reviews Given
1,301 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Conversational - I don't have a formal template. Comment to my perception of the work, both substance and technique; highlights & misses. My reviews are public by default, but I will gladly make private upon request.
I'm good at...
Poetry - I read aloud; respond to both art and craft; Short Story - I listen for the voice(s) and respond with how I perceive both the creative voice and technique; and effective use of writer's tools; Articles/Essays - I'll let you know how you keep it real and hold my interest. Comment to substance & technique, fact-checking, depth of research, logical flow.
Favorite Genres
I love to read ^_^
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, Articles / Essays
Public Reviews
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451
451
Review of Sammy  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your words are so bravely expressive and convey such utter sadness, but also enduring love. The first reading drew a tear.

Reading aloud, the tone is reflective, and your refrain in the first line of each stanza gives me pause, preparing me for, then drawing me forward, to seek the next image.

Technically, meter-wise, in your concluding line, the beat changes from that of the concluding lines of the three previous stanzas. Your images make me want to emphasize "heart" - so for your consideration, try the sound of "But in my heart forever lay." Just my impression here from reading aloud.

Thank you for sharing ~

Keep Writing!
Kate
452
452
Review of Balsamic Moon  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is perfect! Wonderful example of the etheree form, and I personally love poetry about Mother Moon ^_^ I appreciate the author's note, however, for those who are unfamiliar with her phases, although I find the imagery in your poem very descriptive and detailed. Reading it aloud, the words flow smoothly, each image clear and vibrant, sensuous.

Also followed the proscried rules of an etheree without feeling forced to fit.

Good luck in the contest ^_^
Keep Writing,
Kate
453
453
Review of My Friend  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a poignant study of relatinships not living up to the anticipation born of hope and desire. A good example of the etheree form. The images you present progress naturally and logically.

Reading aloud, the ninth line was a bit jarring - starting it with "that" made me want to tie it to line 7, but I piture it as a separate image - perhaps "my mind imagining something new" would be a more natural lead to line 10?

Thank you for offering this heartfelt poem. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Keep Writing!
Kate
454
454
Review of A Dragon's Sorrow  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Such beautiful imagery, the vision stays with me after reading this poem. A poignant story poem from the view of the dragon. Our reality is the dream world of the dragon and the death in this world a sleep which the dragon can protect.

A couple of comments for your consideration -

the seventh stanza starts powerfuly "I came back too late. ... may have froze to death..." - perhaps "...frozen to death"; and I think "then" might be more accurately "than"

I will take these images to sleep with me, I am sure, so beautiful.
Thank you for sharing this, I look forward to more of the dragon's tale ^_^

Keep Writing!
Kate
455
455
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings, and welome fellow newbie ^_^

I really enjoyed reading your journal, and despite your disclaimer, you have an easygoing pleasing writing style. You are a natural storyteller.
I like your counting your husband at the end of the list of lambs - hmmmm *Rolleyes*

I also laughed out loud when you showed the book on lambing for dummies to the ewe - I can believe you actually did it *Laugh* I look forward to the continuing saga of sheepherding as told in such a pleasing way.

My one suggestion for now is that that you consider the length of some of your sentences as you go forward. They sometimes have several thoughts that could either be split or the thoughts separated with commas or semicolons. I think that will also eliminate any grammatical nits almost effortlessly.

I look forward to the continuing saga of sheepherding, and have bookmarked your site for a return visit ^_^

Keep writing!
Kate
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456
Review of Foolishness  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your poem offers some really vivid imagery - and I like the title, also, the foolishness of dreams - kind of satiric

Reading aloud, the stanzas describing "Dreams" and "Hopes" have a balanced rhythm, linking the images in my mind. Well done ^_^

I have one comment for your consideration - perhaps instead of "again" try "once more" as the natural beat of the line falls on the last syllable. For me, a smoother transition to your final poignant image.

Your words really hit home...
Thank you for sharing...
Keep Writing!
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wistful_rule
457
457
Review of Writing Lesson  
Rated: E | (4.5)
If we put logic to the English language, I suppose your words are close to how we would be speaking! I child's eye view in a way of how it should work *Delight* This was fun to read and entertaining.

Reading aloud, the meters within each stanza flow cleanly, with alternating lines using the same ones - very well crafted.

In one of the metered stanzas, I think you stray a bit - see if you agree -

"My house burned up
And it also burned down..."

perhaps
"My house burned up
It also burned down... (the stress on "al"so

Thanks for another wonderful poem - and no, you're not heading down to road to verbal insanity - so refreshing and entertaining ^_^

Keep Writing!
Kate
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458
Review of Whimsical Poems  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was really fun to read - entertaining and an intriguing puzzle to follow along with. I really did smile as you suggested on the folder *Smile*

Wonderfully phrased to give a picture of each generation - nicely metered too.

I have but one suggestion - while reading aloud, your use of "We become" in the last line breaks the meter flow for me, perhaps "Becoming dotter and dotter." would work more powerfully, putting the sress on alternate syllables?

I really enjoyed this poem and look forward to reading more of your work soonest ^_^

Keep Writing,
Kate
459
459
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is great! I immediately thought, burglar with a flashlite, then the moon, but you set me straight right away with "warmed by its transient touch." Vivid, detailed descriptions of both the desk and paperwork, and the picture.
Perhaps, however, since the phrase confirmed it's the sun, the beam might "depart" instead of "set" keeping the personification going.
and the quote, perhaps "shines as brightly as the sun"?? so as not to say "shine" twice in the sentence?

I really enjoyed reading your sketch
Keep Writing
Kate
460
460
Review of bars  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Your poem speaks volumes in few words - very intense imagery throughout, creative phrasing (i.e., "Your eyes speak words your lips never escape," - beautiful!!

I have one suggestion, since you do not use rhyme or symmetrical meters, the word "only" in two consective descriptions slows me a bit, perhaps change one of them (i.e., "Lullabies hummed with just one chord,")

Reading aloud, I find the punctuation a bit erratic. I want to stop after the first two words - perhaps a period there. Also suggest periods after "...weariness." "...chord." "...untamed." as they seem to finish thought groups, at least for me.

Your vivid imagery stays with me after I've finished reading; very powerful and thought-provoking.

Thank you for sharing this work,
Keep Writing
Kate
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461
Review of Dreams  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is fabulous! As a kid, I wanted to be a skater like Peggy Fleming, remember her? This is a wonderful, detailed journey detailing the dreams of youth, accepting that they are now but dreams, and finding another dream to pursue - a message of hope.

And no, your rhymes did not "turn out to be flat."*Smile*

Reading aloud, the flow was smooth and the beat fell on key words - powerfully phrased for the most part.

I was slowed in a couple of places, for your consideration -

Starting the second stanza with "Even" made reading aloud feel a bit awkward - perhaps try starting with "Though..."

Again, starting the second last stanza with "So" - perhaps just start with "Now..." Also, the second line of the last stanza begins with "so" where it flows smoothly for me.

I really think this is a powerful statement on life - made me alternately reflect and laugh - Great Work^_^

Keep Writing,
Kate
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462
Review of My Eternity  
Rated: E | (5.0)
So beautiful, both uplifting and sad. Unbounded love so exquisitely expressed. Your words brought tears to my eyes - my mother also died of cancer, but she never loved me as did yours.

Read aloud, each line, each phrase, flowed smoothly; effective use of a few different meters for focus - really great ^_^

I was seriously moved reading and reflecting on your words, beautiful.

Keep writing,
Kate
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463
Review of The Review Mixer  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a great incentive, and I agree with the premise of not reviewing anonymously. I prefer to own my words, and take comments more seriously from others who do the same.

I also enjoy reading the work of my reviewers to see where they are coming from, and have found some real gems.

Of course, passing on the gps, I'm not building my bank that quickly, but that was not my intent when I joined writing.com ^_^ I have to toss some in the hat with the hope that you keep this going.

Keep Writing!
Kate
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464
Review of My Despair  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is truly poetry in prose - I found myself reading it aloud to savor the words, as I do poetry. I had to walk away after reading it the first time, to return and read again, and saw different meaning in subsequent reading. So much depth, exquisitely phrased.

Thank you for sharing.
Keep Writing
Kate
465
465
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Thank you for offering this really helpful explanation of the bitem linking format. I'm a newbie and I think I have this down.
So far everyone's asked for BITEM, but I know where to look now if another format is requested.

If we use BITEM linking, do we need to indicate that in the short description? and does it matter where in the body of the submission we list the item we wish to send - beginning, middle, end, or it doesn't matter?

Thank you for this great aide
Keep Writing^_^
Kate
466
466
Review of Emotional Cipher  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I really your poem. I like your use of common seasoning in a novel way (salt and pepper - i.e., "...physical attraction Peppered with emotion...Salted with a taste of decadence")

The non-rhyming lines seem to have a number of different meter styles, however, so reads aloud a bit unevenly - different meters can work, but some consistency, perhaps within rhyming sections, would make the reading flow more naturally from one grouping to the next.

I enjoyed reading your poem, very creative, and look forward to reading more ^_^
Keep Writing,
Kate
467
467
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is Great! It worked ^_^ Thank you for the confidence booster
Smile
468
468
Review of Long Journey  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nikki, I commend you for your bravery in writing about such a personal experience, and for presenting it at an assembly of your peers. Your essay is very well organized, written in a conversational style that would hold their interest and attention.

You intersperse your personal experience and knowledge with well-researched facts, and end with possible avenues for getting help.

Your speech grabs my interest and holds my attention throughout; your message stays with me after I finish reading. I think it would be helpful and informative not only for your peers but their parents as well.

my few nits are technical -
I suggest double spacing between paragraphs for ease in reading.

capitalize "I" (instead of "i") in several places
dont = don't (typo or download issue)

space before a comma ("Not exactly ," = "Not exactly, because no offense..."

separating thoughts or lists with semioolons instead of commas i.e. the paragraph "There are three types of eating disorders: (colon to denote list) Anorexia, ...excessive exercise; (semicolon) Bulimia, ...taking of laxatives; (semicolon) and (lower case a) eating disorders....

separate thoughts - paragraph beginning "So how does this all begin?..Many people begin because they want control; (semicolon) many people begin because they're self-conscious." (hyphenate self-conscious, as you did earlier)

keep the same person - paragraph "One of the hardest things... However, for someone who is even the least bit self-conscious, a comment like that could hurt him or her [instead of them] so much."

consistent tense - paragraph beginning "Even though the ental aspects...Loss of white blood cells causes (in place of cause) an increased risk..."

spelling - Osteoperosis = Osteoporosis
Osteopenia = Osteopoenia (I think, but double check)
anoretic = anorectic more correct?

I picked so many technical nits because I really think you should publish this in addition to presenting it orally at an assembly, if you don't already have that in mind.

Beautifully written, thank you for offering it here,
Keep Writing,
Kate
469
469
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is so beautiful and intense. The "dagger of hope" could be God, a guardian angel, a person, ... you leave it open to interpretation and personal beliefs.

Your words evoke depth of feeling, first an intense sense of being lost, alone, "cave of nothing, cave of everything" INTENSE! then being met by the being who can "rip the blackness and send it sprawling" again wonderfully evocative wording!!

my few nits are spelling - can't missing the apostrophe in two places - stanza 1, line 5;

and in stanza 2, line 3 "Dagger of hope slice through my soul" - perhaps consider "slicing" as more in keeping with the tone of that stanza?

Thank you for sharing this beautifully poem - I look forward to seeing more of your work.
Keep Writing ^_^
Kate
470
470
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for offering this insightful piece. I too receive numerous emails, and I don't forward them simply because I don't want to share in distributing unacknowledged copyrighted material. The attorney who was pursuing the violations made more money, I'm sure, than the writer in your example; but the writer made a point. I also read the helpful link you provide and bookmarked both in my favorites to reread when I am in doubt as to the legitimacy of something by the apparently omnipotent "anonymous."
Thank you,
Kate
471
471
Review of Mirror, Mirror  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is poetry in prose - such powerfully evocative detail. You start quietly, reflectively, then mesmerize me with vivid imagery. Each paragraph builds on the one before it, drawing me in more deeply. Reflective yet singing with joy and hope! I read it several times for the sheer enjoyment of your vivid prose.

only a couple of spots slowed me down technically
- in the first paragraph lsat sentence, you change from singular to plural "each line remains a separate and precious moment," [So Beautiful].... "as I carry them with me..." Perhaps "as I carry it with me..." referring to each individual line?

Also, in the fourth paragraph, you have several long sentences, where there is so much imagery, that perhaps some of them could be separated. i.e., "My story lies untold." as a stand-alone sentence, for exaple, might be even more powerful.

Thank you for offering this wonderful piece. I look forward to seeing your work in print, and more on this site ^_^
Keep Writing!!
Kate
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472
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for the helpful tips. I have trouble self-promoting, which is undoubtedly one reason I'm not published - yet ^_^ I will implement the ones for signatures on writing.com.

However, you specifically mention ebay listings as a venue, and they do not permit links to other sites in listings, even half.com (i tried), only in the Me Page. Violators can have their listings removed.

I also am a member of another writing group which requires a request for permission before posting links to other sites in a signature block or email directed to a forum or group. So it might be a good idea to caution people to check any rules or bylaws or ask the sysop before posting on other sites.

Thank you for your continued help and advice,
Keep Writing ^_^
Kate

473
473
Review of Beloved  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beloved touched me deeply. The anguish caused by love unrequited "Longing for a stranger Closer than any other." = immensely powerful.

Your poem never loses its depth of emotion as you build vivid images of true love, not merely its physical expression, and of hope.

This is a wonderful example of free verse poetry that works. Powerful, visual, vivid expression that stays with me.

Definitely destined for success ^_^ Keep Writing,
Kate
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