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1,259 Public Reviews Given
1,301 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Conversational - I don't have a formal template. Comment to my perception of the work, both substance and technique; highlights & misses. My reviews are public by default, but I will gladly make private upon request.
I'm good at...
Poetry - I read aloud; respond to both art and craft; Short Story - I listen for the voice(s) and respond with how I perceive both the creative voice and technique; and effective use of writer's tools; Articles/Essays - I'll let you know how you keep it real and hold my interest. Comment to substance & technique, fact-checking, depth of research, logical flow.
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I love to read ^_^
Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Short Stories, Articles / Essays
Public Reviews
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376
376
Review of Help You Fly:  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is such a beautiful message, vivid imagery to relate a wonderful truth. Your words stay with my after I have finished reading*Star*

Reading aloud, the flow is pretty even and each stanza pulls me forward to the next. I was slowed but a bit the last line of the second stana, consider for reading, removing one word to keep the emphasis on the key words, i.e., "That give you warm embrace." (see how that sounds to you)

Also the next stanza, consider using "who" in place of "that" ??

Thank you for offering this beautiful, heartfelt work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Ringed  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is a disturbing piece, dark and brooding, with some really intriguing visual descriptions. I am left with some unanswered questions, however, like why did his father just let him go? and what was the relationship between the man and the boy.

The room number '69' implies something specific, as does the man watching and his comments afterwards. The woman recovering so quickly after being hit on the head bends reality, or was she out long enough for something to happen?

A couple of minor technical nits you might consider ~ the end of the first paragaph, fragmented sentence might be combined with the one prior or revised?

Next full paragraph, check "each other" ~ run together

"Drinking mercilessly" might be more accurately visualized as "Drinking frantically"?

"Nice shot, you're supposed to hit me..." {apostrophe dropped in your download, I believe)

Thank you for offering this intense and provocative work read!
Keep Writing!
Kate
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378
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a first I've seen here ~ a true challenge with few restrictions, and but one 'rule' to write every day ^_^ Promises to be a fun forum with a myriad of different styles and items daily based on the how authors interpret the prompt*Thumbsup*

The rules are clearly stated, easy to follow, pleasing format for the forum^_^

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of The Anemone  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I see this is a very visual description of how outward trappings of pride mask an inner loneliness and need for affection which, once the outer shell is gone, is visible and perhaps attainable.*Thumbsup*

Using exotic and common flowers to compare is a wonderful idea*Star*

Technically, the poem stayed true to the form without feeling forced with any of the images.

Thank you for sharing this beautifully written work.
Keep Writing!
Kate
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wistful rune

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Review of Join RAOK!  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This site is easy to find, and has multiple locations to link from. Once here, the logo and text are well spaced and inviting. The questions clearly worded. The rules are posted clearly and succinctly, the managers listed for referece or further questions. Good idea there.

Thank you,

Keep Writing!
Kate
381
381
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Beginning and ending with the same refrain brings me full circle in this powerfully worded treatise on anger. Very vivid and visual, powerfully written, the free flowing verse propels me forward through the images. Describing the rage as a living being causing destruction also adds to the force of the poem, then makes the refrain at the end seem like returning to a momentary calm.

Reading aloud, I was slowed in but a couple of places,
*Bullet*fourth stanza, dropped apostrophe in "people's";
*Bullet*same para. using "depths" and "deep" right after each other ~ consider perhaps something like "to its haven deep within" ????

Thank you for offering this provocative work here*Thumbsup*
Keep Writing!
Kate
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382
382
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
You write with great passion your images are very vivid and powerful. Your use of rhyming also helps focus on the image you convey in each stanza.*Star*

Reading aloud, the beat of the stanzas falls fairly evenly, and the rhyming adds focus to the paragraphs individually while propelling me forward to the next.

One tiny technie nit ~ check the first instance of "burning" in the second stanza *Blush*

Thank you for sharing this thought-provoking, powerfully written work.
Keep Writing,
Kate
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383
Rated: E | (5.0)
The book is a great idea, creative response to exercise challenge to create an item modeled on the work of S. Silverstein. I can easily see it grow into itself as a children's book or at the least a chapbook to feature children's poetry.*Thumbsup*

Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Best of the Best  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a great contest! You ask everyone to post what they think is their best for some reallly good WDC prizes and gps; also offers exposure for reviewing to the writers*Thumbsup*

Allowing preiously awarded pieces to be posted adds to their exposure and I think it's fair not to award them a grand prize, however, and generous to offer awarding of 2nd or 3rd place*Star*

The rules and prizes are clearly defined.

Hope you keep it going
Keep Writing!
Kate
385
385
Review of What do you see?  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Another beautiful tribute. You post a question that scholars and scientists have pondered through the ages and have yet to answer, despite getting big bucks for their attempt.

Your questions are very thought provoking and real. Thank you so much for sharing.*Star*

P.S. one word got tangled in your download ~ check "existed"*Blush*

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
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386
Rated: E | (5.0)
Such a beautiful tribute! A child is life, is beauty, is hope, and you convey that here with such depth; how a child opens a door to the heart as none other can.

Thank you for sharing this heartfelt dedication; the memories you have, sharing them and putting them to paper, will surely help others.

Thank you,
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Review of Between Dreams  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


I like your portrayal of a soul waiting; the idea that he/she gets to choose, but may not be chosen back; and there's another chance, and who knows, perhaps others in the wing, for one reason or another. You touch on abortion and how it keeps a soul waiting, seeking to be born*Heart* and tell it in a way that the images stay with me after I have read your work*Star* The finale, where the poor soul cries because he's no longer 'comfortable' made me smile.*Smile*

I was slowed in but a few places while reading, and offer some comments for your consideration, mainly making it more showing, to put me right there with you/the soul:
*Bullet*the first paragraph, try "someone who" or just "someone" instead of 'that' when referring to a person;

*Bullet*the second paragraph, i think you meant to say "lose" instead of "loose" 'your mind' ~ and if you like the image 'flooded back' suggest you try something like "Long forgotten memories flooded back at the sound of her voice." (the memories are what are returning)

*Bullet*the paragraph beginning "My dream. What did it mean?" ~ "...could only think what it was" is a bit confusing to me. Consider revising again to a more active sentence, something like "The finger silenced my voice, but not my thoughts." then voice the thoughts and the woman's reply to them?

Thank you for offering this thought provoking and memorable work.

Keep Writing!
Kate
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388
388
Review of Pleading  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is so powerfully written, each stanza progressively more intense. I paticularly like the way in each stanza you first relate the need then how that need is not being met, how the lack of being touched and cared for 'simply is' without vigor or life.*Star* The images stay with me after I have finished reading.

Reading aloud, the rhythm is pretty even thoughtout and the images are powerful and vivid.

Thank you for offering this thought provoking work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Review of Insomnia  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


The images are beautifully drawn and reflective. Switching the point of view from your eyes indoors to that of the moon outside I really like also.

Reading aloud, the rhythm is fairly even thoughout the poem. I am slowed a bit in the beginning, "...between wake and sleep" consider perhaps "...between awake and asleep" or perhaps "...between waking and sleep" ?

Some beautiful imagery i.e, the moon being unable to contain its light ~ I like the personalization*Smile*


Thank you for offering this great read!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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390
390
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is a beautiful tribute to the obviously wonderful woman who was your mother. The acts you relate, how she adapted and did what was necessary, putting family needs before her desires, you relate with such honesty. Your words show me a growing understanding throughout your tribute.

I do believe she knows how you feel and continues to watch over you and her granddaughter as well.

Thank you for offering this great read!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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391
391
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This poem is such a sad but beautifully written treatise on betrayal by one who inspired trust, only to destroy the ability to trust in another. Each image is so vivid as the 'story' unfolds, making me pause to reflect for a moment, before propelling me on to the next image.

Reading aloud, the beat of the stanzas is rather even, focusing on key images and words. I found myself stopped at one point, the third stanza, "from the reality of that time?" the 'reality' I do not see described, and it confuses me a bit, making me go back to look for the premise.

The final stanza, or conclusion, is so poignant and heartbreaking, but also speaks of strength in being able to confront what had happened. This image of inner strength stays with me afer having finished reading.

Thank you for offering this powerfully writte work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Review of A Thousand Pieces  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


The images evoked by your words are so vivid and sad; so realistic. I find myself picturing each as I move forward to the next. I like the symmetry of the beginning and ending stanzas, opening with a question and finding the resolution after the relationship has ended.*Star*

Reading aloud, I am slowed in but two places ~ in the second stanza, past to present conflicts for me where you state "the bird ceases to fly" ~ consider "the birds cease to fly" to relate to "we" in the next line???

Also, the symmetry I noted, I think you mean to say in the final stanza, "I glance ... You stare " in place of "Your" to kind of mirror the first stanza's "I stare ... you glance ..." ??

Those two images, like a mirror, stay with me after I have finished reading.

Thank you for offering this great read!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Review of Hope  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Your 'little reflection' is so visual and vivid; some really unique and creatively placed images catch my eye and mind, then propel me forward to seek more, i.e., "Hide and seek, sit and play." *Star* and "Cost of life..." another great thought provoking image.

Reading aloud, the pace is quick with these vivid images that move me forward through to the final uplifting message. The beat is fairly even, with but a few places where I would suggest you consider tightening some of the text, i.e., first stanza, try the sound of "sometimes feeling like you've paid the cost," (sometimes one word, and 'you've' in place of 'you have' to make the natural stress fall on your key words)???

The final image is so beautiful and real ~ stays with me after having finished reading*Heart*

Thank you for offering this thought-provoking work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Review of The Onion  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


The imagery is so vivid and beautiful here. I can picture peeling and unpeeling an onion to reveal shades of pain, regret, sorrow, wanting but unable to attain the release of peaceful death. Each image unfolds so naturally, moving me forward one to the next.

I am slowed in reading in but a few places ~ the second paragraph "outermost" would more accurately be one word; also singular and plural clash at the end, making me go back to reread for clarity "their life" and "they'll be there" ~ consider perhaps "his life" and "he'll be there"?

In the 4th paragraph, "realize" in place of "realise"

The final sentence/statement is so vivid it stays with me after i have finished reading.

Thank you for offering this thought-provoking, creative work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Review of Dreams  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


Thank you for offering this beautiful tribute. The images are so vivid and using Alex's voice in conversation make them even more so, taking me there as witness to a conversation*Heart*

Reading aloud, the beat flows rather smoothly. I am slowed in but one place and offer for your consideration in the first stanza, third line, that you change "Makes" to "Make" so that it agrees with the plural "Dreams" ??

Alexandria is a warrior's name, and it's obvious her spirit still lives and I thank you for sharing her words^_^

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
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Review of Cocoon  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is beautiful, the images, the feeling, flowing from one stanza to the next, drawing me forward to the beautiful resolution. Growth, rebirth, whatever one's faith, this speaks volumes. *Star*

Reading aloud, I falter in but one tiny spot, the third stanza, first line, the beat is different than the rest, making me stop for a moment ~ consider perhaps using a contraction "What's this that comes to me" so that the spoken emphasis falls on the word "this" naturally ~ see how it sounds to you?

The final image stays with me and I you leave a gentle smile on my lips even after having finished reading.

Thank you for offering this beautiful work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
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Review of John  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is a beautiful, loving tribute to a young man whose spirit shines through the words you put to paper. Your telling of the story is so natural and real, I find myself often lost in the moment.

I have but a few comments or questions to pose ~

Is Tony a physician, working in intensive care? He was excused to be with you? That seemed a bit abrupt as opposed to the smooth flow and introductions throughout the rest of the story?

Also, in describing John's physical attributes, "His thick sandy-blond hair complemented large, intelligen, green eyes." in place of "complimented"; and in the paragraph beginning, "That was the beginning... what seemed like it would be a long struggle." "seemed would" feels a bit forced to my ear reading aloud???

The final sentence is such a beautiful, heartfelt message, it stays with me after I've finished reading. Thank you for sharing this beautiful work!

Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a great visual poem ~ shaped like a rocket ship*Thumbsup* with the departure checklist numbered (cute phrase about the jacket^_^) and the final sentiment is so matter-of-fact, like a kid would say it*Star*

Reading aloud, the beat flows pretty evenly, and the images are visual and vivid ~ like S.Silverstein's^_^ ~ I would suggest for your consideration, a period or dash after "I'm ready. ..." and after "I'm leaving now. ..." for consistency with the rest of the poem where you use punctuation very effectively, making me pause for just a moment before reading on.

Thank you for sharing this fun poem^_^
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Your description and stories about the many beauties make me want to visit there, to walk with you and cool my feet also in her waters after long walks exploring the places and meeting the people. Providing a vignette of each location, as you do earlier with your family group, ties it all together as a series of life experiences and joys, Friuli being more than a place, but a reality, a way of being.

I like the description of all your happinesses as medicine ~ a word usually associated with something unpleasant, you recreate as a symbol of joy given by family, friends, and this beautiful place, Friuli.

I hope you are able to return there time and again and "Life the Life Friuli" ...

Thank you for sharing this uplifting, beautifully evocative work^_^
Keep Writing!
Kate
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Review of Did You Daddy?  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Smile*Greetings! I'm one of the Reviewers for the *Down*
 Weekly NEWBIE Challenge  (E)
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#989394 by ~*~Damiana Returned~*~


*Smile*I enjoyed reading your entry - hope to see you in the next challenge*Smile*

*Star**Star**Star*


This is so powerfully visual, each stanza evokes a more and more terrifying image, pulling me forward to the next. I keep hoping for something to happen to stop the inevitable, but it doesn't happen. So heartrending and, I think in the end, probably true. The violence and anger took over, destroying a life.

Reading aloud, the beat of the lines is forceful and compelling, moving me forward. I am slowed in but a couple places, and offer the following suggestions for your consideration,
In the third line, try remoing the first word "As" and begin with "I hear..." ~ see how that feels reading aloud;
the same with the third stanza fourth line, cosider deleting the second occurrence of "would", i.e., "That today would be the day I die" ??
and eighth stanza, try "When I know you are so near"

Thank you for offering this thought provoking work!
Keep Writing!
Kate
wistful rune ~ …
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Strive to live the ordinary life in a nonordinary way.
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