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1,849 Public Reviews Given
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I give honest and friendly reviews. I try to be as helpful as I can.
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Sci-fi, fantasy, adventure, comedy
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short stories, poems, activities, images
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I will review up to 18 content ratings.
Public Reviews
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451
Review of Earning It All  
Rated: E | (5.0)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This was a mystery story about a girl who almost received more than just a bank loan.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Hi Joy! I love a good mystery, and yours was no exception. I was captivated from the beginning to the end. *Bigsmile*

*Check2*ERRORS: Great job! I didn't find any errors.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I like the small details in your story...How the straw hat looked like the kind people wear on boats...Then bringing up the hat again because of the gardener.

You also did a good job building the fine character of Janice. She didn't feel right to take advantage of the bank with a lawyer, and in the end it was confirmed that she did the right thing. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a short 'horror flash' story.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: That was a cute story! I guess the two characters in the story saw a Vampire movie. Was this written for a contest? I can't imagine that it's easy to form characters and write a meaningful story in such a short area. You did well though considering that. *Smile*

*Check2*ERRORS: No errors were found.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I loved the ending. Until that point, they were just vain high school kids -- a cheerleader and a football player. Then your readers get to find out their secret! I would have liked to know how old they really are!


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453
453
Review of Dreamcatcher  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a short horror story about a dreamcatcher.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: LOL I guess it's time to update my dreamcatcher!

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't see any errors.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: Great idea for a story! I never gave it any thought that a dreamcatcher could become full someday...Like a trash bag that needs to be changed! Very creative. *Smile*

I liked the types of monsters that came tumbling out of it!

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: I would have liked to see a link to that item it was written for. Maybe you might think about adding it at the bottom of your story. That would also give your readers more of an idea as to what's going on.

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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454
454
Review of The Hunter  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a drama story about a man who plans a hunting accident for a person he doesn't like very much.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: You expressed the feelings of disgust the guy had for Cletus Brooks so well that it is very easy for your readers to feel that emotion. Great job in leading up to the ending. *Smile*

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't see any errors.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I loved the suspense in your story. I felt deeply involved in every word. Then the ending came and I was thinking, "WHAT! WHAT DID HE SHOOT? Gosh, you really have a knack for writing. Your writing has the same effect that my favorite novels have on me! If this had been a loooooong story, I would be up all night reading it because I wouldn't be able to put it down. LOL

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Review of Sunset  
Rated: E | (5.0)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a descriptive short story about nature.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Wow! I have to first say that I didn't expect such an impressive piece of writing in this little story. It's in a class all by itself, so I'm sure people must comment often on how talented you are. *Delight*

*Check2*ERRORS: Sorry to say that I didn't find any errors...Not that it's a bad thing! LOL ...But I don't feel like much of a help here -- how can one improve perfection. *Bigsmile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: You did an excellent job with your descriptions, as in this example: Thus, these trees shed their leaves early and wavered into a realm of dreams... -- Your story takes your readers away into a moment of tranquility. Nice work! *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Review of Five course meal  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup*


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is the main folder of Jyo's port, filled with lots of wonderful things. *Smile*

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Gosh, I'll have to admit that you have one of the neatest and most organized ports that I've ever seen on Writing.Com!

Not only was it a pleasure to look through your port, but it was very easy to get around in it.

*Check2*ERRORS: Nicely done. *Smile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I loved the idea of this folder. It is like a welcome mat to your port. I did feel welcome here because it was simple and easy to find everything...In fact, I was able to speed through EVERYTHING in your port! It was amazing to be able to see everything so quickly!

I'll have to get back again to spend more time on each item.

I liked how this folder was a window to the other folders and their items...A feast for the eyes, with costumes and masks containing things like dragons, flowers, and Christmas greetings...Followed by bits and pieces of angels, birthday wishes and such...Aperitifs of odds and ends...Made to orders filled with contest entries...Main Courses of short stories...And desserts of poetry.

Very creative and fun to explore port! *Bigsmile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


An animated review sig
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Rated: E | (4.5)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a Vampire story...just in time for the Halloween season.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Well, at least she awoke to gleeming daylight! *Bigsmile* I was thinking that she might turn into a Vampire or die, but I guess it was only a dream. Right?

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't see any errors. Nice work. *Smile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: This was just a tiny story, yet you succeeded in keeping a smooth flow of great descriptions, as in this example: Then I noticed his eyes. The violet irises flashed oddly, which made me lean closer to be certain I’d seen it. Something grabbed hold of me from within. I was locked in conflicting emotions, unable to break free of his leering stare. -- Great job there. I could picture the intense and eerie scene. *Smile*


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Review of Goners  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a quick-paced and exciting short story, about a daredevil who seems to have a death wish.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: I loved the fast action and adventure of your story, though I'm not sure that I actually understood the ending. It seemed like there had been two people in the car, but there was only one at the end. Then, the victim opened his eyes, and spoke as a third person who was watching the scene. I was wishing for more of an explanation, but maybe there were word limits for the contest that it was entered in. It might be a good idea to add a link to the contest, or a couple of lines to describe the prompt.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: This was a wild ride and a great adventure! I like the way that you casually added scenery throughout to paint your picture while all of the intense action was going on, as in this example: "There it is, see! The edge. Whooo! The edge and then the sky. Nothing else. Except those seagulls." Nice work. *Delight*


*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: Your story seems 'squashed' together. It might be more pleasant to read if you left spaces between the conversation.

Here you wrote: I" never dared you to do anything. You’ll destroy us both, you maniac!" -- The quotation marks should be before the I.


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Review of Chitter  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This horror story is a good Halloween read.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Wow, you really wrote a chilling first chapter. I can hardly guess what will come next. The ending was intense, yet it didn't give much away as to what the rest of the 'book' will be about. I think if this were a finished novel, I would have a sort of idea from the book jacket. Maybe you might want to think about writing a small introduction to get attention from more WDC readers. *Smile*

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors. Nice work.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: This was one of my favorite paragraphs: She started to heave herself off the wet grass, scooting herself backward. Electric thrills screamed up and down her spine and her legs wouldn’t unlock. The thing screeched and shot out of the hole. There was no time to untangle her uncoordinated legs before the thing was on her. She screamed and felt icy fingers close on her shoulders as the thing pulled her down with it into the dark puncture in the earth. --I thought it was very eerie and suspenseful.

I like all of the descriptions that you used in this chapter to describe everything from the noise that the K'Ombren made, to the rut of Bernard. Great job with all of that. *Delight*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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This fantastic 'leader' sig was a gift from Lornda
460
460
Review of The Big Race  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a cute story for a quick contest.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: LOL This is such a funny story. I was dying of curiosity, but I didn't scroll down and cheat. It was well worth waiting for the punch line! *Bigsmile*

*Check2*ERRORS: There were no errors. I hope you did well in the contest. *Delight*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I liked the punch line at the end...A weight loss camp race, with the winner getting powered donuts! It shows what people will do when they go without their favorite treat! *Bigsmile*

I also liked the build up to the ending, and the great descriptions. The simple nick-names were a nice touch too. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Review of Cloud Imaging  
Rated: E | (4.5)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a very interesting style of poetry.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Was this about a rain storm? That's what I figured it was, but I'm not really sure. It's very amazing and pretty. *Smile*

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I am glad that you included the information about this style of poetry. I skipped down to read that first, so that I can see it in your poem.

I'll have to say that the 'simple' explanation sounded very complex to me, until I actually saw how it played out in your poem. I'm sure that couldn't be easy to put together! I'm very impressed. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


Another New SP Group Sig For Reviewers.
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: A creativly different type of poem about snakes, inspired by a nature magazine article.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Oooh gosh Harry your poem gave me goosebumps just thinking about it! I enjoyed reading it because it was educational as well as rhymed pleasantly. *Delight*

*Check2*ERRORS: There are no errors in this poem. Great work! *Smile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I can picture those snakes slithering about! I feel that I actually learned a lot by reading your poem. I never realized that people were dumping their pet pythons in Florida, and now that new type of snake population is growing. I'm glad that I read this. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Review of Just Hold Me Now  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This poem is filled with love and romance.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Ah, what a very sweet poem! It reminds me of a lovely valentine!

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors. Nice work! *Smile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I liked how you tried to express loving words while keeping a smooth, rhyme to your poem. ...And I really loved the pink color! It gave it a nice finishing touch. *Delight*

I hope it did well in that contest. *Smile*


*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Review of Never forget...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This inspiring poem is done in a very eye-catching way.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Wow! I am dazzled to say the very least! How did you do that! It's like magic! I am very impressed! *Bigsmile*

*Check2*ERRORS: No errors in this amazingly arranged tribute poem.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: You made a point in a really interesting way. This is very creative. *Delight*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Rated: E | (5.0)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: Great poem about a mother's feelings toward her children now that they are not little anymore.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: I loved every bit of this poem! *Delight*

I was just saying to someone that kids are so easy when they are little -- we can dress them anyway we want and they don't even know any different.

My kids are not even home most of the time anymore, and I keep thinking to myself, Thank goodness for Writing.Com! *Bigsmile*

You succeeded in putting down in writing the way all of us feel when our kids are grown. *Smile*

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors. Nice work! *Smile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: This said it all right here: Now they are older but not quite yet grown./They apologize to me for fighting over a phone./"It's really okay." I say, now that I'm calm./Cuz I've found new interests - on Writing.com. -- Great job! *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This chapter is from book three of the Sci-Fi, Circulating story. The chapter is very long...98.00 kb, so this review will be somewhat long as well.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: I am thrilled to read book three of your exciting story. I remember how wonderful it was to receive book one in the mail, and then later to read book two. Book three, so far, has not been a disappointment at all. *Smile*

I know that your books have the potential to be the next 'Twilight', or one of those other big hits. *Bigsmile*

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors in your story. It might stand perfectly as it is, but I will add lots of 'suggestions' of things that I would write differently.

*Star*FAVORITE PARTS: This chapter starts well, with the setting for the beginning of book three. I like how, for example, it is mentioned that Elisha is sharing an apartment with her boyfriend, Mike, and her cousin, Jenny. There is no confusion in where anyone is, or what's going on in the story right from the start.

I think that beginning the chapter with the mystery of Elisha's dreams adds to the suspenseful 'hook' of the story.

I really like how you did such a good job in 're-introducing' your characters, as in this example: “You go out and say hallo to your father and brother and Patrice and the baby.” Aunt Gab said." I noticed that you did that throughout the chapter. It's a good memory refresher as your readers go from one book to the next. *Smile*

Eventually the time came for us to eat the delicious Roast Lamb, Tina and Aunt Gab made. Oooh! Roast lamb, roast potato...You made their feast sound so yummy! *Delight*

“I thought I’d be doing Mike a favour this way. I bet it’s going to be the only time we see our angry little feminist walk down an aisle in a long dress.” Tina made a jab at me. LOL That's a funny line! I love the way that you casually add humor to your story. It's makes your readers really understand the characters, and get close to the story. *Smile*

We played cricket up until 6 PM before we left back to Aunt Gabby’s. It was fun to read how cricket is played, and it was even more exciting to read when there were supernatural powers involved in the game. Your descriptions, such as during the game-play, are fantastic!

I stared back at her, trying to drink in this image of her, where she’s young, she’s healthy, and she’s with me.
Mum smiled at me. “That’s the Elisha Grace Baker I knew I would raise some day.”
This chilling dream is just one way that you keep your chapter really interesting. *Smile*

“Come to the Medical Library. I’ve found something interesting.” Xavier said ecstatically. “It’s something that you’ll find VERY interesting, I promise you.” I really like how your chapter jumps from one exciting adventure into another. There is nothing dull here. *Smile*

I enjoy reading whenever you write phase descriptions, like here: My body’s flesh dissolved into particles of light, as I turned ghost like, before disappearing completely.

A tease for an exciting next adventure makes your story irresistible to put down, like here: “Hell yeah. Of course I’m curious. Especially about the name Dystar.” I agreed.
“Then let’s make this our new investigation.” Xavier stated.


I thought it was a terrific idea to give updates about the characters during your chapter, as here in this example: Nelson and Zack, both graduated and moved on from University, now spent the majority of their time at Circulate HQ or in different places and parts in Earth’s history. I really didn't feel 'lost' at all anywhere in this chapter.

LOL more fun humor from Jarrod: “Alright.” He raised his eyebrows, putting his hands in his pockets again. He looked me over once again. “Either you’re dressed for an Australian summer, or you have suddenly become impervious to English winters.” You seem to be able to do this effortlessly. *Laugh*

Your story flows smoothly, as when Elisha bumped into Jarrod, told Xavier about it, and then phased to Lucas's office. It's always exciting to read when Elisha uses her abilities.

...And, wow, things really got interesting when Lucas told Elisha all about the mysterious Dr. Dystar. There is a lot of creativity in your story. *Smile*

Toward the end of this chapter, you really went heavy on the hi-tech sci-fi. I really liked the way you added scientifically technical specifics to your story, in a way that is first explained in what Elisha teasingly described as 'quantas', and then explained it in an easier way.

You ended this chapter smoothly with a nice conclusion. I enjoyed reading it, and I'm looking forward to reading on. *Delight*


*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: You wrote: “Well if this isn’t the stove calling the kettle black.” I only heard this saying once in my life other than here. It was said on the TV show, The Apprentice. The woman it was said to, apparently never heard it before either. She thought it was a racial comment and it turned into an argument.

...But you used that saying twice in the same chapter. I think the second time, maybe Mike should instead say something like, "Let's see you practice what you preach". ...Or something like, "Well, if this isn't the stove calling the kettle black... Mike called back teasing with my line from earlier."

I don't under stand this line: “Ha ha! Your older cousin is a Cadbury’s!” I like to think that I've become more 'worldly' in the past few years, and caught on to the lingo of other countries, but now and then I come across something that I just don't get. Maybe you can say that line, and then add one more line of explanation...like: “Ha ha! Your older cousin is a Cadbury’s! Give her a piece of chocolate and she'll zone out for hours!"

Here you wrote: “Alright, that’s enough. I had the broad first. Hand her back now.” Mike said jokingly to Shane." Why would Mike refer to a two your old as a 'broad', especially after shane just called her a princess. Something like 'the little lady' or 'her highness' might fit better.

Here you wrote: “Talk to Tony Blair and try to get Australia some more trade agreements or something, would you?” I giggled, and then I hung up the phone. The mention of Tony Blair might 'date' your work, though that doesn't really matter much...just thought I'd mention it though. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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A sig to be shared by the Captains
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Review of Introduction  
Rated: E | (5.0)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION:I am thrilled to see your third book on Writing.Com! It was my pleasure to read the first two...I remember how excited I was to receive my very first copy in the mail from cafe press. I know that anything you write is terrific, so I am REALLY looking forward to reading book three. *Delight*

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Oh it's so good to read all of these familiar names again...Sally, Pat...Elisha. This introduction is a terrific 'hook' of great things yet to come, especially to someone like me who read your first works in Circulate and can anticipate more. *Smile*

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors in this very creative introduction.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: ...Clearance codes...dairy entries...Circulators...Calculators...This is all so exciting and I can hardly wait to read book three!

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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A 'colorful' sig for WDC Power Group to use in their reviews
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468
Review of Ponderings...  
Rated: E | (4.5)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This review is being done for "Simply Positive Review Forum .

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: I thought this poem had the perfect title...Ponderings. It seemed to be a collection of thoughts about how things are, how things were, and how things might be.

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors.

*Star*FAVORITE PART:I liked how you succeeded in putting in writing the thoughts that we all experience at one time or another. We look at our lives and think about our past. We cherish those memories that we loved with feelings of proud accomplishment. Other memories we keep in mind to learn from. If we can learn from our mistakes, there is indeed hope to make the future better. That's what your poem meant to me, as in this line example: "A realization comes over me.../the Past cannot be changed,/but it needs to be remembered."

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Review of Letting Go  
Rated: E | (4.5)


*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This poem is being reviewed for "Simply Positive Review Forum .

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS:Ah Elizabeth this poem is so sweet! You expressed delicate emotion in a tenderly poetic way. *Delight*

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: This is my absolute favorite part: "A soft breeze comforts me/ I feel at peace with myself..." How often do we bottle up painful emotions to the point of bitter hurt and stress. You showed in your inspirational poem that it is possible to let go of those dark places in our heart, and feel the 'crystal sheen' of peace. *Delight*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


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Review of I Was A Tiger  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Delight**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup*



*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: Interesting poem because it is written as though through the mind of a zoo tiger.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Gosh, I was there at the zoo not too long after the tragedy. I had heard the story on the news, but I didn't even realize that it was the same zoo that I was visiting until I saw the story on the news a few days after my visit.

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't find any errors.

*Star*FAVORITE PART: Yes, I could understand the tiger's ideas that she was annoyed at having to be confined to a zoo exhibit instead of a jungle. This tiger in particular had a nasty temperament as it was because there had been trouble with her in the past. ...And yes, being confined probably only made it worse.

Just as it's true with people, or dogs and other animals, some always seem to be quick tempered and grumpier than others. I could only imagine how this tiger felt to have those mischievous teens throw pinecones and sticks at her. She probably thought she was being attacked and wanted to defend herself. I think I remember reading a story when I was a kid about a boy who poked a dog with a stick until the dog finally bit him.

Still, those teens parents probably thought their kids were safe at the zoo. If the zoos are going to keep animals, they should make absolutely sure that the animals can't get out. ...And they should have more attendants to make sure that the people aren't hurting the animals either.

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


** Image ID #1418985 Unavailable **
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: A fun story to read of a most embarrassing moment.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Well, we can laugh at our embarrassing moments now, but at the time they're happening we can't! I bet your face was more red then any sunburn you might have had. Gosh, especially at 18 with all your friends around...And a guy who was looking to date you! I can imagine how you felt. *Shock*

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't see any errors in your story. Nice writing. *Smile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I enjoyed reading this story about fun, old times, and embarrassing moments! You had great friends who quickly helped you. I remember seeing teens playing 'keep away' or whatever with their friends shoes and stuff. It would have been bad if you had those types of friends who wouldn't give your top back!

Thanks for sharing your story. It's good to know that we all have embarrassing moments. *Delight*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


** Image ID #1427198 Unavailable **
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Thanks for your entry in " The Group of Talkers's contest:
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by Maryann - House Martell


Oh this brought back memories! Football is big in my house, especially when my two sons are around. One of my sons loves that Oklahoma team...He and his wife spend all their money to even go out to Texas and Oklahoma to see the games.

My other son has a few favorites, but he is just happy to watch a good game on TV.

My husband and I used to make trips to the college that my daughter went to because she was in the football band, but now we just watch one on TV every now and then. We NEVER miss the superbowl, but I guess no one does. LOL

Yes, your poem shows fun times with friends and family. It's all good, especially when the team that you're rooting for wins. *Delight*

Here, I would change 'look' to 'looks' for it to sound better: "Look like you're washing dishes now"

I like the way that you wrote how one would tease the other if their team didn't win. There's lots of fun and good times there. It's always good to write about things that you enjoy. *Delight*

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Rated: E | (5.0)
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*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a great assortment of really nice cNotes.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: How did I miss these all this time! LOL These are terrific! I just sent the beautiful rose..."A rose for you." I could have sent any one of them because they are all so cute. *Delight*

*Check2*ERRORS: I didn't see any errors in the set up of these great cNotes. You are the 'image hero' of our site! *Bigsmile*

*Star*FAVORITE PART: I LOVE the cute doggie cNote. I will have to remember that one when someone tells me that they are having a bad day. The announcement might come in handy, as will the thinking of you and supportive ones. I didn't know that you had one for a NEW BABY! You know who I would have used that one for. *Wink*

These cNotes are a terrific price too, which is not too easy to fine these days.

I'm adding these to 'my favorites' as soon as I finish this review. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


** Image ID #1427198 Unavailable **
474
474
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Delight**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup*



*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a Star Trek type Nursery Rhyme.

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Thank you for entering this cute Klingon Nursery Rhyme in " The Group of Talkers's contest,
 Group Contest Forum  [13+]
Ongoing contests for The Group of Talkers
by Maryann - House Martell



*Star*FAVORITE PART: This poem really has a 'nursery rhyme' feel to it, because it's a take off of the Little Old Woman in the shoe. I like the way that you changed it to fit the Star Trek theme. Very nice! *Delight*

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: I think that your poem would get noticed more often if you filled in the three 'genre' spots. You might put 'sci-fi', 'comedy', 'young adult', 'fan-fiction', or anything so that it appears in more places on our site. *Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


** Image ID #1427198 Unavailable **
475
475
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Delight**Thumbsup**Thumbsup**Thumbsup*



*Note4* FIRST IMPRESSION: This is a funny Klingon Nursery Rhyme. *Smile*

*Exclaim* THOUGHTS: Thank you for entering this fun to read poem in " The Group of Talkers's contest:
 Group Contest Forum  [13+]
Ongoing contests for The Group of Talkers
by Maryann - House Martell


*Star*FAVORITE PART: LOL I guess even mighty Klingons have trouble house-breaking their pets sometimes! *Laugh*

I loved the way it rhymed so smoothly. To me, it read like a limerick, which was very pleasant to read.

Didn't B'Elanna Torres have a stuffed animal targ named Toby?

I had fun reading this great poem.

*Idea*SUGGESTIONS: I noticed that you had a low rating already. I guess some WDC members didn't really understand your funny poem. This means that it would probably be good to add a notation at the end of your poem to explain a targ. You might write something like, "A Targ might be compared as a large mean-looking wild boar with spikes on his back. Klingons sometimes keep these as pets."...Or something along those lines. ...Or you can just say that a Targ is a monster dog! LOL*Smile*

*Balloon2**Balloon3*-Write on!*Balloon4**Balloon5*


** Image ID #1427198 Unavailable **
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