*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/missy0201/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
Review Requests: OFF
482 Public Reviews Given
532 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I pick the item apart and give as much feedback as I can about potential problems that may need to be addressed.
I'm good at...
Most grammar and punctuation issues.
Favorite Genres
Horror, Supernatural, Suspense, Thriller, Dark, Ghost, Non-sense, Comedy, or anything relating to these.
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica, Fanfiction, War, Military, Spiritual, Religious, Nonfiction, Arts, or anything relating to these.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Poetry, Novels
I will not review...
I'll not review any item that has not be edited to the writer's best ability, or that I find impossible to read and review because of an abundance of grammar and punctuation mistakes that I feel the author could have corrected during editing.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 3 -4- 5 6 ... Next
76
76
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey breshke,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


I enjoyed reading this story. It was very creative. I liked the personality that you gave Joseph Cricket. I found him pretty amusing. Poor Valerie was put in a worse situation than when she started.I didn't see any obvious mistakes through it. I was a little curious about why Joseph Cricket didn't fall in love with her when she spoke. I guess it was a fairy thing. *Smile* Good job.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


77
77
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey Amanda,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


You did a good job writing this story. It captured my attention and made me want to keep reading. I guessed that it was all just an imprint of what had happened to Lisa, or if you prefer, her ghost haunting the woods where she was killed. The ending caught me a little by surprise because of the coincidence of them being out there that night and then the article in the paper the next morning.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

sleep came over me. (overcame)
situation, having trouble (situation, and)
running through. (through them)
eyes real tight (eyes tight)
passed by when finally, I heard (passed when I)

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


78
78
Review of A Rough Start  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey KrisAnn,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


I like the way that you wrote this. You did a great job of keeping my attention from the end of the world to trying to escape the restaurant. I enjoy reading this type of story, especially when it's written in a way that seems like you are telling me something that happened to you in common language. I would guess that the Rocky Road ice cream did it. What can you expect with a name like that? *Laugh* Good job.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

being chase by (chased)

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


79
79
Review of Dig a Hole  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey S.J.,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


Thank you for asking me to review this for you. You did a great job with this part. I liked all of the detail that you put into it.I could almost see and feel everything that was happening to her. The only thing that I can possibly comment on is that you could maybe separate some of the longer sentences into a few smaller ones. It would make it just a little easier to read. Other than that, I have no other suggestions. I look forward to reading the next part. It felt like it had a good flow and it was real. Really good job. I can see so much improvement from the very first part that I reviewed. I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future. Great job.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


80
80
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey Anastasia,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


I liked this story. That seems to always be the way things go. I liked that he had decided to change and treat his wife better. I guess it was a little too late. I felt sorry for him at the end. If only she would have waited a little longer. You did a good job capturing Howard's different feelings and ideas before he made his life changing commitment. Good job.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

Howard He made(He made)
There are several places that could be changed from Howard to He.)

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


81
81
Review of The Kiss  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey Joey,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


I believe that this is a good storyline. I did find it a little hard to keep up with who was who and all of their various information though. I don't know your plans for the story line so I can't say one way or the other at this point if it's too much all at once. It is a believable story and it caught my attention once I got past the introductions and history of each person. I hope that you are planning on somehow separating each couple and maybe more of their history, then throw in some background into their relationship before you move on to the next couple. From this example that you have given, I think that I would be interested in reading more about these characters.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


82
82
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey michael,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


I enjoyed reading this Tribute to your friend Bob. He must have had a time getting that motor home through those woods. Good thing you had that 4-wheel drive. He may have never gotten it out of there. The flow of your story seemed a little off, and it could use a little tweak here and there, but otherwise a good story.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


83
83
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Hey Marleigh,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


This is a good start to your story. When I got to the end, it made me curious about what they were doing there and why she seemed to be so important in what was going on. In a few places your detail was good while in other places it seemed rushed, throwing off the flow. I liked the characters and the fact that Josh was in the military and now seems to be getting involved in some type of seemingly sinister business with the Colonel.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

as he scrambled around his dad as he swung. (his dad and swung.)
When did the three of them go into the house after her husband came home?
I would think that the kitchen would be in the back of a large house where it wouldn't be seen by visitors.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

84
84
Review of The Party Line  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*UmbrellaB* This is a Member to Member Review for Showering Acts of Joy! *UmbrellaB*


Hey Harry,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*

You wrote a very good story. I remember those stupid party lines. I hated them. Every time I called someone, I wondered who might be listening. It was hard to have a private conversation. I guess the only people who ever missed it was all of the gossips. I know how they are. I live in a small town and they are every where. This was a fun story to read and It actually told so much truth about small towns. I enjoyed reading the part where Sadie finally fought fire with fire and put those old biddies in their place. It was just so crazy all of the things they were saying about her. I felt so sorry for her. It's amazing how much gossip can get started from just looking at someone. I always heard that when they are talking about you, they are giving someone else a rest. Good job with this story.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

85
85
Review of First Contact ~  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey Kate,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


This the first of the three reviews that I will be sending you. I really liked the details that you put into the first two paragraphs. I could sense the pain he felt at the loss of his father and the bond they shared. The rest, although it was good, seemed to pale in comparison, even though you did have good detail throughout the rest. In the third paragraph, I could understand his anger and feelings at his father's death. One thing that troubled me was that just before that it seemed like they were very close and then it seemed like they weren't because of the lake and sailing. Did his father die in a sailing accident? I thought he must have since Mark was throwing his ashes into the lake. I also wondered why he wasn't normal. What was different about him besides his size? Since he was supposed to be evolved, did he share any other physical characteristics with the aliens? You did a very good job with the conversations. The language was what I would expect. I liked the story and you seemed to have everything in order and gave just enough information about the lattice theory. You explained it without going overboard on details. Good job.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

captured and were held in (captured and held)

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


86
86
Review of Cute Guy Tim  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*UmbrellaB* This is a Member to Member Review for Showering Acts of Joy! *UmbrellaB*


Hey aralls,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*

This was another great story. I found it an absolute pleasure to read. I laughed all of the way through it. In all of my life, I could never imagine having as horrible a date as this one. It almost makes most bad dates look like fun. The picture of his dead grandmother was a hoot just by itself, but when you pointed out that he lining matched her dress, I almost fell out of my chair.

“Tim, I gotta tell you somethin’. I believe that if you combined Jeffrey Dahmer’s DNA with Charles Manson’s, it would create a less creepy guy than you.”

“OMG! I love those guys!”

I absolutely loved this part. It was another one of those fall out of my chair moments. You have such a way of writing comedy stories. You seem to be able to take something normal and everyday and turn it into the most extreme and mind blowing version. I think you have a natural gift for this type of writing. While I read this story, it just seemed to flow naturally, without you having to think about what you should write. Great job.


Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

"Newbie Help And Support Review Central" 
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

87
87
Review of Meddeling Parents  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*UmbrellaB* This is a Member to Member Review for Showering Acts of Joy! *UmbrellaB*


Hey acemckean,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*

First of all, congradulations on becoming a member of SAJ. Now to your story...You did a fine job on this story. I liked the way it was wrote from Frank's point of view. It sounded real and honest. I could see from his descriptions of Anne, that she was a little quirky. Frank's inner thoughts were really good. I thought that he said when Anne came into the bedroom and moved his feet to sit down, was funny. I could almost picture all of it in my mind. All of those little things that you threw in made the story. The dating sites, Armando who could have possibly been a dating site stalker like Anne. It seemed like she was willing to go to any lengths to get Olivia married and get those grandchildren. You did a good job with this story, and I enjoyed reading it. It was fun and entertaining. Good job.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

great first, Max (greet first)
I think it could use a couple of commas here and there. Maybe just two or three I think.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

"Newbie Help And Support Review Central" 
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

88
88
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*UmbrellaB* This is a Member to Member Review for Showering Acts of Joy! *UmbrellaB*


Hey Asiah,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*

First of all, welcome to WDC and SAJ. Both are great places to be. As for my thoughts on your story...I thought that you did a great job writing the story. Your telling of the events were easy to read and you didn't get tangled up and loose site of what you were writing. I liked that you based your story around a common inanimate object such as a Beret. Being a little superstitious, I could sympathize with Rusty's fear. I thought the part where Rusty got the package, opened it, and died was a unique way to prove her theory about the cursed beret. Good job.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

the bottle shop to (I was a little thrown off by this. I understood what you were talking about after I read further. I've never heard it called that. I'm use to package store or liquor store. That may just be what it's called around here but it may need a universal description.)
We hadn’t had partners (The hadn't and had throws this sentence off. I felt that they are too close together. you could try 'We didn't have partners')
We had had a (I think you could get rid of one 'had'.)
and shared many (and we shared)
day my friend’s cat (day that my)
There were several places throughout your story where I got lost due to missing commas. All other punctuation seems fine.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

"Newbie Help And Support Review Central" 
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

89
89
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Hey Pat,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


I'm honored that you asked me to look at this story for you. You really brought to life the struggles of a child who isn't the first or last born. I can relate to the character because I was unlucky enough to be the middle child with a brother before and after me. It's really hard to get your mother's attention when you are competing with that. I liked the way that you added in the small details that showed her desire to gain approval. I could understand the guilt they felt at lying to their mother and hiding the evidence of that lie. You did a good job on the detail in this story.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

my effort was perceived (efforts were..I thought this might work better because the character listed more than one quality)
wanted us to be “big-headed” (to get the "big-head". This may just be me, but we use this phrase where I live. That may be just around where I live though.)
us was ever accused (have ever been)
that enough determination (that with enough determination I)
One bright, sunny (One bright, and sunny)
twizzle (I couldn't find this any where. maybe curled or twisted?)
I had heard (I have heard)
The drug store was the place to hang out if you didn’t need a haircut. (I can understand what I think you mean by this sentence, but you might need to clarify it for those who don't know that the barber shop is a popular place for men to hang out. My first reaction was..what does the drug store have to do with a haircut?)
red, raw pieces of meat (pieces of raw meat..It felt like too much description in one spot, and felt a little off.)
A few things I mentioned seemed to fit better because most of the language your character used gave me the impression that they were more mature and educated.


Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

"Review Central Plug Page" 
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

90
90
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey Carol,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


I really liked this article, especially the way you chose to write it. It felt like I was just a friend that you were writing a letter to. I've been down this road, and I would guess that everyone has at some point. It is scary. I couldn't wait to get reviews when I first dared to post my tender little stories. Such newborns and teens they were. It seems that for every ten people that like one of my stories, one hates it. When I get those nasty ones, I just go back to the good ones and remind myself that they are full of crap.

The reason I came to WDC was to learn and improve my writing skill, hone my craft, and develop my voice.

I especially liked this sentence. Everyone that has ever gotten a nasty review should remind themselves why they are here and what they want to accomplish instead of worrying about what one nut job thinks. I comfort myself with the thought that they are jealous because they can't write. *Laugh*


Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


FORUM
Newbie Help & Support Writer's Hideaway  (E)
A discussion forum to help Newbies by answering questions about writing, reviewing & more
#1768032 by Tiggy-Cheers for House Martell

"Review Central Plug Page" 
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


91
91
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Hey Pat,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


This was a nice little story. You did a good job with the language and describing Jess's everyday life. You captured the life of a small town and farm life very well. I liked the conversation and related to the story. In many ways this story reminded me of my childhood. Life was all about the simple pleasures and your imagination could take you anywhere. Good Job.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1757481 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

92
92
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey Legerdemain,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


I enjoyed reading this story. Of all of the dragon stories that I have read or seen, I've never heard of one being killed by stabbing it in the eye. Very interesting. You did a good job of telling it, and making it seem real. I thought that Johnathan was a good character and you wrote him with all of the qualities of a great warrior. It moved along nicely and kept me interested and wanting to read more. Good job.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1757481 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


93
93
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey Legerdemain,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


Wow...What a dream. You did a good job writing this. It got my attention and I felt like I was sitting here just watching it happen. The ending was quite a surprise. You did a good job of describing the scene, your actions, and fright. I enjoyed reading it.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

checking the ditch (ditches)

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1757481 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


94
94
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Hey S.J,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


I I saw that it will soon be your 1 year anniversary. Congratulations! Thank you for asking me to come back and look at your extended story. I think you did a good job with your additions to the story. They helped explain why she was there. Depending on how long you feel like making this story, I saw where more could be add. I think it could actually become a book if you wanted to put that much into it. You have introduced two characters, her brother, and her captor, and another place(The Sirine). You don't have to focus all of your energy on that right now. Just make a place for notes and ideas in your word processor to save for later. If it helps, let this story rest for a while before going through the reviews. Please feel free to contact me if I can help you in any way.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

ears. Before the heavy (ears. The heavy)
tracks and causing (tracks, and causing.., tracks, causing)
pain as she watched (pain. She)
space which was steadily (space, steadily)
she opened up (she woke up,)
close, her (close, and her)
more she heard (more, she)
door to the right swung forward (door swung forward,)
towers Ms. Balshine” (towers, Ms. Balshine,"
accent which gave (accent, giving)
brother who (brother, who)
here as I have been instructed to tell (here, as..instructed, to)
now Ms. Balshine.” (now, Ms. Balshine,")
children then why (children, then)
assault her she (her, she)
silence as questions (silence, as)
with it she screwed (it, she)
It was to her relief (She was relieved)
ring and the locks (ring, and the.., ring, and locks)
by one she made (one, she)
long sigh her (sigh, her)
place and quietly (place, and)
bed and a royal (bed, and)
“Come Ms ("Come, Ms.)
now” said (now," said)
bed she (bed, she)
again as she (again, as)
cologne and (cologne, and)


Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1757481 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

95
95
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey aralls,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


When I read the title and description of this story, I knew I had to read it. It was better than I expected. I have never thought about how a glass of milk felt, but now I know. I wonder how exciting he would think it was if he fell off of that edge and cracked up on the floor.You do have a wild sense of humor, and I like it. I liked that it was a whole conversation from that glass of milk. He's a funny character.I really liked it when he was talking about the dishwasher. It may have been a short story, but I enjoyed it enormously.

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1757481 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


96
96
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey aralls,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


This was some story. I couldn't help but laugh. It seems like every time I turn around, someone is saying that to me. Poor Dr. Carrie. With those three patients, I think I would have been pulling my hair out. I especially enjoyed when Mr. Cayhill and Mrs. Downing ran into each other in the lobby. I enjoyed the whole story, but I think, I liked that part the most. I liked the way you expressed her thoughts throughout the story, and the conversations. I think you did a very good job writing this story. I could see all of that happening and understand the thoughts she had. She really did have the worst day ever.


Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1757481 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


97
97
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Hey Shannon,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


I enjoyed reading this story about Willow. She was a great character. I liked the details that you provided, and I thought that the story moved forward very well. It definitely kept my attention and interest throughout the whole story. The little black kitten was a nice addition, as well as, the way you worked in the dream. I think you did a great job writing it.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

sun as well as the (sun, as well as, the)
seeds, a (seeds, and a)
motion and (motion, and)
creature, and it (creature. It, creature; it)
fork and poking (fork, and poking)


Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*

 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1757481 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

98
98
Review of Phantom Man  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey Kevin,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


You had some good descriptions throughout this poem. The way she looked,smelled, and how she felt when she sensed him. I liked it, but it was hard for me to read at times. I'm no professional when it comes to poetry. It represents the writer's own personal feeling and style. There is no right or wrong way to write it that I have found. The best I can say is that I could read it, understand it and liked it. I did all three, and I say to you now, "Good job."


Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1757481 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


99
99
Review of Elizabeth  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Hey Ida,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


This seems like a good background for a scary story, but In itself it's not scary. I'm left wondering what any of this has to do with anything. It feels incomplete. What you have written could be used in any type of story that you wanted to write. What kind of person did Elizabeth become? What did she do that would make us cringe? Where does the servants being beaten fit into her actions? I know it can be hard to write in genres that are new to you. It is easier for me to write horror and such, but I don't think I could write something like romance. It's just not something that I normally read. It is good to try different things so that you can get the feel of your own style, and what makes you comfortable. If this is a genre that you are seriously considering writing in, then feel free to look at some of my writing and see if any of those may help. If you do have any questions, please feel free to ask me. I'll try to give you any help that I can.


Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1757481 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


100
100
Review of Morgansville  
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey Nat,

This is a review from a member of Showering Acts of Joy. *Delight*


This was a really good story. Pardon the pun but it sucked me in. I tried not to miss anything but at times I lost track of what I was doing. I'm thinking that Mrs. Day didn't like her because of her great,great grandmother? It does need some work but I really enjoyed the story. I'm glad that I found it.Good Job.

If you would indulge me, these are just some observations I have made. Feel free to use or dismiss as you see fit. *RollEyes*

and Mrs. Day and we were taught (Mrs. Day. We were)
Add a period after the numbers of the rules and capitalize the first word following it.
but some reason (but for some reason)
already learnt (already learned)
One a week (Once a week)
bracelet to say they (to show that they)
figured I go to them (I would go, I'd go)
I reach the center of town and made (I reach ...and make, I reached the ...and made)
vampire, he held my hands (vampire. He held)
and was leaning against and leaned against me)
my feel could obey (my feet)
'how is that possible' I (How..Possible?)
confusion she (confusion. She)
ill take you back (I'll)
cant control you (can't)
close to fire (close to the fire)
dracular. (Dracula)
He diapered (disappeared)
time i was due (I)
one though (thought)
I think I saw some missed or misplaced punctuation and your conversations need quotation marks instead of apostrophes.)

Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer. Keep up the good work and best of luck with all of your writing. *Reading*


 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1757481 by Not Available.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


128 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 6 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/missy0201/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4