Hello brom,
This is a review from "Showering Acts of Joy Group" 
What I liked: The basis of the story was different from anything I've ever read, and it is truly unique. I enjoyed the journey from beginning to end, and I was glad that it had a happy ending. I am glad that they finally gained some common sense and didn't have to go tho war to defend their land and people. 
Grammar/Punctuation: You should check over your punctuation, spelling, and grammar. I found several of both. I have listed quite a few here, but I found several more,
Observations/suggestions: 
Long ago of there existed (Long ago there existed)
evil lived (evil, and lived)
remained there. So (remained there, so)
person would something (would do something)
wealth and he planned (wealth, so he)
Meanwhile, in idiotsville (in Idiotsville)
held to his throat.” (held it to his throat.)
amass such great (such a great)
I and he were (he and I)
get in?”he said (space between in?" and he)
magic can defeat can defeat magic (magic can defeat magic)
release the woman.” ,the wizard (the woman," the)
As the wizard followed after Darvy. But (The wizard..Darvy, but)
put stone in his hand and whispered. (put a stone....Whispered,)
human and all humans (human, and all)
understand all that that he said (all that he)
Well I suppose (well, I)
take this with me.”, she (with me," she)
bushes.” he (bushes," he)
could think anything (could think of anything)
not even breathing.” Princes (breathing," Princess)
better get moving.” she (moving," she)
Then she more of the strange (then more)
for his abuse that (for the abuse)
his death.” The Princes (death," the princess)
said as she reached him before the guards could intercept him and put a sword to Darvy’s throat. (she said, reaching him and putting a sword to his throat before the guards could intercept her.)
didn’t know what was quite happening (know quite what was happening)
searching himself for words (searching for words)
for several sentences (for several minutes)
I and sense it (I can sense)
you can sense it? (you can too.)
Not only will this but (Not only that, but we will soon)
happen to kingdom full (to a kingdom)
“You’re right, I can sense it. But (right. I..it, but)
what way rest would (what ways the rest)
“What’s’ a “something ("What's a something)
have ben as small foolish (have been)
forward to tell an intelligent (to say an)
like I’m suddenly (like I've suddenly)
window and where his (window where his)
moment that No longer (that no longer)
overcame any contra wise sentiment (contra wise ?)
Thoughts/feelings: This is a unique story about an unbelievable land of people. The storyline was good, but I thought that it could use a little tweaking and detail. I think that with a little editing it can be an even better story. Good job.
This is my personal review of this piece of your work. These remarks are for you to either use or discard as you see fit. If you do not agree with any of my comments, feel free to delete this review. Since you have your own writing style, Please practice safe editing. 
Thank you for allow me to read and review your writing. I'm not a professional, just a reader and writer like yourself. Keep up the good work, and best of luck with all of your writing.
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