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Public Reviews
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51
51
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: a good character driven story.

Opening: the first paragraph brings the reader into the story and holds their interest to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Characters: the characters are engaging, and their interaction is well done.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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52
52
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: the characters are interesting; it is well written. I found no grammatical errors.

Opening: for me, the first half of the story works well. The bar scene seemed anti-climactic.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: this is well done; the descriptive writing brings the characters and scenes to life.

Characters: the characters are engaging.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.


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53
53
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: this is a creative story with interesting characters.

Opening: or me, the first part (italicized), is much too long. A couple paragraphs would work well, then move to the main part of the story.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: this is the strength of the story. The descriptive writing brings the characters and scenes to life.

Characters: engaging characters.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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54
54
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: creative idea; interesting character.

Opening: the reader is pulled into the story and held there to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good details bring the character and scenes to life.

Characters: engaging character.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes

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55
55
Review of Nightmares  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: creative idea; interesting characters; great ending.

Opening: the first paragraph is very good; the reader is pulled into the story right away and kept there to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing brings the character and scenes to life.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: good character interaction.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes

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56
56
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: lots of exciting action; interesting characters.

Opening: the reader is dropped right into the middle of the action and right away is caught up into the story and held there to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: the characters are engaging, and their interaction is well done.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes

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57
57
Review of Chosen  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: the characters are interesting, and I like the idea of the story.

Opening: this is a good opening; the reader is pulled into the story and held until the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: interesting characters, and their interaction is well done.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes

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58
58
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: this is a very creative idea; the characters are very interesting.

Opening: right away the reader is pulled into the story and held there to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: this is one of the strengths of the story; the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: they are interesting and engaging.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes

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59
59
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I enjoyed the characters and their interaction; the world created in the story is interesting and well done.

Opening: the reader is pulled into the story right and held until the end.
As the first part of a longer story, this works very well, and the reader will want to continue to the next chapter.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing that brings the characters and scenes to life.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: very well done.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes

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60
60
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: this account flows very well.

Opening: strong first paragraph hooks the reader into the story; they are held there until the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: this is one of the strengths of the story; the descriptive writing brings the people and the scenes to life.

Characters: the parents come across very well; the children could use some more description.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes

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61
61
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: very creative with interesting characters.

Opening: the reader is caught up in the story right away and held to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing that brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Characters: the characters are interesting, and their interaction is very well done.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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62
62
Review of The Cheshire Cat  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: very well done; very creative idea that is well developed.

Opening: the reader is caught up in this other world from beginning to end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: this is the strength of the story; the descriptive writing is excellent and brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Characters: I enjoyed the characters; excellent characterization.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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63
63
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: this is funny, but it also shows a good thinking process of getting out of trouble once all goes haywire.

Opening: a good opening paragraph that introduces the characters and the situation. The reader attention is caught and held to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the scenes are good; adding more details would make the account even better.

Characters: the characters are interesting, and their interaction is well done.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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64
64
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: this is an interesting story idea; add more details to make it even better.

Opening: good opening paragraph that captures the reader's attention and holds it to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the scenes are good; add more details to make them even better.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Characters: the characters are interesting; add more details.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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65
65
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: this is an interesting story with lots of action.

Opening: the main character and the situation bring the reader into the story, and their attention is held to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the scenes are good; add even more details.

Characters: the character is interesting, and the interaction with the creature is interesting.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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66
66
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: the characters are interesting.

Opening: good first paragraph that draws the reader into the story.

Style and Voice: easy reading story.

Scene/Setting: good scenes.

Dialogue: the dialogue advances the story.

Characters: the characters are interesting, and their interaction is well done.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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67
67
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like this story; it is an interesting idea with intriguing characters.

Opening: excellent first paragraph that captures the reader's attention right away.
As the first part of a longer story, this works well.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing that brings the characters and scenes to life.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: good interaction between the characters.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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68
68
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: excellent; the world envisioned here is very well done. The alien creatures are presented in a dynamic way. The story is very well written.

Opening: good opening paragraph that introduces one of the main characters and the situation. The reader's imagination is engaged right away and held to the end.
As the first part of a longer story, this story will compel the reader to keep reading.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life. This is very well done.

Dialogue: great use of dialogue; in particular I like how the difference in language is explained.

Characters: delightful characters; their interaction is great; in particular I enjoyed the part of their first meeting. This showed the cultural differences - excellent work here.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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69
69
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like the creativity of the story and the interesting characters.

Opening: the opening is good but also confusing. I would suggest just to describe the "thing."

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the scenes are clear; more details would be good.

Dialogue: I like the dialogue.

Characters: the characters are interesting, and their interaction is well done.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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70
70
Review of Purple Windows  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with The Witch's House  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like this a lot. I found the character Kanoa to be quite interesting.

Opening: a strong opening paragraph hooks the reader, and they are engaged to the end.
As the first part of a longer story, this works well to capture the reader's attention.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue.

Characters: I enjoyed the interaction between the characters.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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71
71
Review of Hugh Dunnit  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: Ok, this is really wacky, and I love it. The title is a real winner.

Opening: the reader is hooked right away and held captive til the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the character and the scenes to life.

Characters: I enjoyed the characters very much; the silliness is perfectly silly.

Dialogue: great dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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72
72
Review of Destination-Space  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: this is really good; the sc-fi tech is just right; the characters are very good.

Opening: the reader is pulled into the story right away and held there to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Characters: I enjoyed the characters, and their interaction is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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73
73
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: good suspense mixed with interesting characters makes for a good story.

Opening: great first paragraph that pulls the reader into the story and holds them there to the end.

Scene/Setting: this is one of the strengths of the story. The descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Characters: the characters are enjoyable, and their interaction is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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74
74
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like the idea of this story and it is developed well.

Opening: the reader is pulled into the story and held there to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Characters: I enjoyed the characters' they are interesting and engaging; good character interaction.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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75
75
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like the idea; there is good action and scary too.

Opening: the reader is drawn into the story from beginning to end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the scenes to life.

Characters: the characters are interesting.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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