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Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of Last Contact  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: very good story with a perfect ending. This is well written; I didn't find any corrections.

Opening: the reader is pulled into the story right away and held captive to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the scene to life.

Characters: I enjoyed the character.



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77
77
Review of The Bug  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: good suspense and a good scare.

Opening: the reader is drawn into the story right away and held to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style; the first person pov is good; the third person scene is used effectively to build suspense. The last third person scene could be a little stronger for greater impact.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the scenes to life.

Characters: I like the characters.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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78
78
Review of Remnants  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: a story with a moral to pay attention to.

Opening: good opening paragraph; the scene draws the reader into the story and keep them there to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scene to life.

Characters: I enjoyed the characters.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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79
79
Review of Code Lv  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like the idea of the story.

Opening: the opening is good; there is a switching from present to past tense; stay with one tense. More details could be added to make it even better.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: add more details - use the five senses.

Characters: I like the characters. Clarify who is doing what so that the reader is not confused.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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80
80
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: Wow! What can I say? This is great; it is filled with action and suspense. It is very well written. Loved it.

Opening: excellent first paragraph that captures the readers attention right away and hold it to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: this is one of the strengths of the story. The descriptive writing brings the character and the scene to life.

Characters: interesting and engaging character, the interaction with the other characters is well done.

Dialogue: good dialogue that advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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81
81
Review of Flying Pegasus  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like this story of determination; it is like writing a story - just keep hammering at it.

Opening: strong first paragraph with good descriptive writing that describes the character and the scene. The reader is drawn into the story and kept there to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the scenes are very clear. Well done.

Characters: I enjoyed the character.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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82
82
Review of The Visitor  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: good descriptive writing brings this story to life.

Opening: excellent first paragraph; the writing really brings the characters and scene to life. The reader is hooked from there to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: dynamic scenes, well done.

Characters: I enjoyed the characters and their interactions.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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83
83
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: excellent; mystery, intrigue, interesting characters, good surprises, all add up to a great story.

Opening: a very strong opening; the reader is pulled into the story and held captive to the end.
As the first chapter to a longer story, this works very well. The reader will want to continue reading.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: this is one of the strengths of the story; excellent descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Characters: they are interesting and engaging, and their interaction is well done.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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84
84
for entry "Tinfoil Hat - 13+
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like this; it is interesting characters in an unusual situation.

Opening: good opening paragraph; the scene is well described and pulls the reader into the story.

Style and Voice: easy reading style; the fist person pov is a good choice.

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing.

Characters: the characters are interesting and engaging.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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85
85
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: this is good; good action, interesting characters.

Opening: the reader is pulled right away into this story.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the scenes to life.

Characters: I like the characters, and their interaction is well done.

Dialogue: great us of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes




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86
86
Review of Gradgard  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: the descriptive writing brings the scenes to life.

Opening: the first paragraph is well done; the reader can easily envision the action.
As a first part of a longer story, this works well in enticing the reader to continue reading.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: this is one of the strengths of the story. Well done.

Characters: the character is interesting.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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87
87
Review of Electric Memories  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: action, suspense, interesting characters.

Opening: good opening paragraph; the details draw the reader to the story.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the action.

Characters: I enjoyed the characters and their interaction.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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88
88
Review of Call to Arms  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with October NaNo Prep Challenge Gr...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like the story idea, and the characters are interesting.

Opening: good opening paragraph with descriptive details that brings the scene to life. This engages the reader.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: this is well done.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: the characters are engaging.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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89
89
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: a good horror story.

Opening: a slow start to the story; I would suggest to add more details.
As an opening chapter, the ending will cause the reader to want to know what comes next.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: add more details to the scenes.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue.

Characters: the characters are interesting.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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90
90
Review of Moirai  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: there is a good tension in the story, and the reveal is well done. I did not find any corrections - good writing.

Opening: good first paragraph that pulls the reader into the story quickly.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing brings the scene to life.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: the characters are interesting.

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91
91
Review of Valdyrin  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: great story idea with a nice surprise.

Opening: the story opens a bit slow with a conversation.
As a part of a longer story, this works very well; the characters are good and the situation is very interesting.

Plot: as the story moves along, the reader is drawn deeper into it. There is a good plot twist.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the scenes are good and could be made stronger by adding even more details with the five senses.

Dialogue: excellent use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: great characters.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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92
92
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: an unusual and imaginative story that is well written.

Opening: good opening paragraph filled with good details, bringing the scene to life and causing the reader to continue reading.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: this is one of the strength of the story. Strong descriptive writing.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: the characters are interesting.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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93
93
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like the idea and the characters.

Opening: the opening is good in that it has good descriptions, but I would suggest to give it more impact. You could take the last paragraph and make it first, then do a flashback.

Pace: for me, the pace is too fast in that a lot of time is covered quickly and briefly; if you slow the story down and fill in more details, it will be more real to the reader. It is more like a summary of what happened.

Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: the descriptive writing is good.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue.

Characters: the characters are interesting.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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94
94
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: a bit of a mystery, and an interesting character.

Opening: good descriptions pull the reader to the story right away and keep them engaged to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style. Good use of the first person pov.

Scene/Setting: this is one of the strengths of the story. The descriptive writing bring the character and the scenes to life.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: good character interaction.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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95
95
Review of Echo  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like the idea.

Opening: good opening that sets up the situation very well. The reader is pulled into the story and kept there to the end.

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing; add even more details.

Characters: the character is interesting.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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96
96
Review of Propriety  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: there is a good mystery as to what is going on.

Opening: the opening is good with interesting details that draw the reader to continue.
As an opening to a longer story, the pov change is good, making the story more interesting, and leaves questions at the end that will draw the reader to continue.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: the is done well.

Dialogue: the dialogue advances the story.

Characters: interesting characters.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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97
97
Review of December 2, 1995  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: as a character study, I found this interesting.

Opening: the opening paragraphs pull the reader into the story and hold their attention to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good details are added to bring the characters and the scene to life.

Dialogue: excellent use of dialogue to advance the story.

Characters: good character interaction.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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98
98
Review of Wolf Girl  
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: I like the structure of the story. It has a staccato feel to it. The short paragraphs give it a fast paced feel.

Opening: the descriptive opening draws the reader into the story.

Plot: the reader is held captive as the story is revealed; the ending is well done.

Style and Voice: easy reading style; the first person pov is used very effectively.

Scene/Setting: good details in the story bring the characters and the scenes come to life.

Characters: I enjoyed the characters, and their interaction is good.

Dialogue: good use of dialogue to advance the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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99
99
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon! *BalloonR*


Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

What I like: it presents a horrific story without being too graphic.

Opening: the interchange between the two main characters draws the reader into the story and holds them there to the end.


Style and Voice: easy reading style

Scene/Setting: more details for the scenes would make it more alive for the reader.

Dialogue: this is one of the strengths of the story. Good use of dialogue.

Characters: good character interaction.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes


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100
100
Review by Paul D
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

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This review is a part of the activity of
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Postponed until further notice
#456789 by Gaby


and also presented as a member of "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group


What I like: this is good; the story has a few unexpected surprises.

Opening: the first paragraph hooks the reader, and they are held by the story to the end.

Style and Voice: easy reading style.

Scene/Setting: good descriptive writing that brings the characters and the scenes to life.

Characters: interesting characters, and the interchange between them is well done.

Dialogue: the dialogue advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes



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