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Review of April Fool's Day  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a fun and relatable take on April Fool’s Day! The narrator’s exhaustion from the endless, often predictable pranks is something a lot of people can relate to. The humor was well-paced, from the minor annoyances at work to the fake-out at the end with Rover. That final moment was particularly strong—the twist was both unexpected and hilarious, and the image of a dog pulling off the ultimate prank was a great way to end the story.

The writing style is casual and engaging, making it easy to follow along with the narrator’s increasing frustration. The inner monologue was well-executed, keeping a light, humorous tone while still making it clear that they were truly over it. The line about rethinking Angela’s promotion was a nice touch—it added to the workplace antics without over-explaining the joke.

If I had to suggest anything, I’d say a bit more sensory detail could enhance the humor. Maybe describing the way the pranks started blending together or how the narrator physically felt by the end of the day (tension in the shoulders, sighing every five minutes, etc.) would make their frustration even more vivid. But overall, this was a strong and entertaining short piece.

That ending though — Rover is a prankster legend!




WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of a breather  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautifully introspective and poetic piece that captures the essence of writing as an emotional release. The rhythm flows smoothly, and there’s a clear passion behind the words. The imagery of a blank paper as an opportunity to create, express, and even heal is especially strong.

I love how it highlights both the joy and the weight of writing—the need to give words to emotions, whether they’re regrets or happiness. The idea that silence can be torturous when emotions are left unspoken is a powerful thought, and it resonates deeply with anyone who finds solace in writing.

If anything, you could experiment with slightly varying the rhythm to make certain lines hit even harder. But overall, this is a heartfelt and inspiring piece that speaks to the soul of every writer.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Unwanted Memories  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem plays with repetition and contradiction, which gives it a unique, almost whimsical rhythm. The way it loops around the ideas of remembering and forgetting makes it feel like a mental tug-of-war, which is an interesting effect.

One thing that stands out is the phrase “memory of my memories,” which creates a layered, almost dreamlike quality. The poem also has a sing-song quality due to its rhyme scheme, which makes it engaging. However, because of the constant back-and-forth on remembering and forgetting, the meaning can feel a bit tangled at times.

The last line is intriguing but a little unclear—“Poet-ray” seems to be a play on "poetry," but it might need more context for readers to fully grasp its significance. If it's meant to be a wordplay, you could clarify that through slight rewording or a stronger connection earlier in the poem.

Overall, the poem effectively captures the paradox of trying to hold onto memories while also wanting to let them go. If you’re aiming for a clearer impact, you might refine some of the phrasing to ensure that the core message—whether it’s about regret, nostalgia, or something else—shines through more directly.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a touching and heartfelt story about love, memory, and the quiet loneliness that lingers after loss. The way Norma speaks to her late husband, Alf, adds a layer of warmth and depth, making her grief feel tender rather than overwhelming. Her conversations with him, especially the imagined teasing about the moisturizer, show how deeply their relationship is still a part of her daily life. It’s a beautiful way of portraying enduring love.

The story flows naturally, with a steady rhythm that mirrors Norma’s day—from getting ready for the wedding to her bittersweet reflections at the reception. There’s a contrast between the lively, youthful energy of the wedding and Norma’s growing awareness of her age, which is captured beautifully in her interactions with John. His kindness in offering to take her home, and then later toasting with her in a quieter space, adds a nice, hopeful touch. It suggests that even as time passes and people fade from our lives, new connections can still form.

One of the strongest moments is when Sally looks at the photographs and Norma hands her the picture of her and Alf, saying, “That’s when we were beautiful.” That single line carries so much emotion—it’s nostalgic, proud, and a little wistful all at once. It sums up the story’s theme of cherishing the past while accepting the present.

If there’s any room for improvement, it would be to deepen the emotional tension slightly in places. Perhaps expanding Norma’s feelings at the wedding—seeing Tracy so full of love and remembering her own wedding—could add another layer to her reflections. Maybe she briefly struggles with being there without Alf before finding comfort in his imagined presence.

Overall, it’s a beautifully written, emotionally rich piece that captures the quiet, everyday ways grief and love intertwine.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem carries a deep emotional weight, touching on themes of loneliness, heartbreak, and unspoken pain. The imagery is strong, particularly in lines like "My dreams are dust, my nights are cold" and "Your heart is crying, beneath the silent sky." These evoke a sense of desolation and yearning, making the reader feel the speaker’s sorrow.

The structure flows well, with a conversational tone that makes it feel like an intimate confession. The repetition of silence—"A silent story… never told" and "why you're so silent, when your pain can't rest?"—reinforces the idea of suppressed emotions, which is a powerful way to emphasize inner turmoil.

One area that could be slightly refined is the transition between the first stanza and the rest of the poem. The opening feels raw and direct, while the latter lines become more poetic and metaphorical. If you want to maintain the abruptness of the opening, consider making the last lines mirror that same rawness.

Overall, this piece successfully conveys sadness and longing. If you want to deepen its impact, you might explore expanding on the idea of being a "beggar of love"—what does that mean to the speaker? Are they seeking love from someone specific or from the world? A little more detail could make the emotions hit even harder.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of The Last Supper  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautifully written, emotionally charged piece that captures the quiet unraveling of a relationship with subtlety and grace. Here’s what works well and where it could be even stronger:

Strengths:
Atmosphere & Setting:

The opening lines are vivid and immersive. The descriptions of the dining table, food, and lighting effectively set the tone—intimate but heavy with unspoken tension.
The details of the meal reflect effort and care, which contrast sharply with the emotional distance between Emma and David.
Dialogue & Subtext:

The conversation is natural and layered with subtext. David's hesitation and Emma's frustration come through without feeling over-explained.
The moment when David carefully sets down his fork is a small but powerful action that speaks volumes about his emotional restraint.
Symbolism & Metaphors:

The food as a metaphor for their relationship—beautifully arranged but ultimately unsatisfying—works well.
The grandfather clock ticking reinforces the passage of time and the inevitability of their breakup.
The lyrics from Carry You Home add an extra emotional weight, emphasizing love that lingers even after separation.
Areas for Improvement:
Repetitions & Clarity:

The sentence "The room fell silent again, the weight of their unspoken truths hanging heavy in the air." is repeated. This should be revised to avoid redundancy.
The phrase "Pain squeeThe room fell silent again" appears to be a formatting error or typo. It disrupts the flow and should be corrected.
Heightening the Tension Earlier:

While the story effectively builds tension, David’s reluctance feels slightly underdeveloped. A small additional cue—like a sigh, a glance away, or a hesitation before responding—could add to his emotional conflict.
Perhaps Emma's frustration could simmer a little more before she bursts out with "It's DENIAL!" The contrast between restraint and release would make it more impactful.
Ending Refinement:

The final exchange is touching, but the resolution feels a little too neat. If they’re truly at the breaking point, would David be so immediately accepting? A hint of lingering conflict or unresolved sadness might make it feel more authentic.
The line "As the sun dipped below the horizon, they both knew that this was the beginning of a new chapter." feels a bit conventional. Maybe something more personal, like describing how Emma physically feels lighter or how David stares at his untouched plate, would be more powerful.
Final Thoughts:
This is an engaging, well-crafted scene filled with strong imagery, dialogue, and emotional weight. A few tweaks—fixing small errors, sharpening tension, and making the ending slightly more nuanced—would elevate it even further.

Fantastic work! Keep writing!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of The Pencil  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautifully simple yet profound poem. It takes an everyday object—something easily overlooked—and turns it into a symbol of limitless potential. The structure is tight, with short lines that make each word feel deliberate and meaningful.

The first stanza sets the stage well, emphasizing the pencil’s smallness and mass production. It subtly hints at how something so ordinary can create extraordinary things. The second stanza brings warmth, showing the craftsmanship behind the pencil’s creation.

The last stanza is where the poem truly shines. The repetition of “one stroke, one idea” builds momentum, reinforcing how even the simplest beginnings can lead to something greater. “One pencil, a million possibilities” is a strong, thought-provoking ending that leaves a lasting impression.

If anything, you could experiment with a slight tweak in flow—perhaps varying the line lengths in the last stanza for an even stronger rhythm. But overall, it’s a lovely, inspiring piece.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your story is a lighthearted and charming take on an unconventional romance. The narrative flows well, with a clear beginning, middle, and end. You did a great job making Ethan a relatable character despite his unusual interest. His initial shame and eventual acceptance of his fetish add depth to his journey, making the story feel complete and satisfying.

However, there are some areas that could be improved:

Character Depth – While Ethan is fleshed out well, the woman remains somewhat one-dimensional. We don’t learn much about her outside of her appearance and reaction to Ethan’s interest. Giving her more personality, background, or even her own quirks would strengthen the emotional connection between the two.

Dialogue & Interaction – The story would benefit from more natural dialogue between Ethan and the woman. Their interactions feel somewhat rushed, especially in the early stages. Adding a few moments of conversation where they connect on a deeper level would make their relationship feel more organic.

Conflict & Resolution – The story lacks significant tension. Ethan’s internal struggle with his fetish is mentioned, but there’s no real moment of crisis. Maybe he could experience an awkward rejection in the past or a moment where he doubts whether he can truly be accepted. This would make the final resolution more powerful.

Setting & Atmosphere – While New York is mentioned, the setting doesn’t feel very present. A few details about the work party, Ethan’s apartment, or the dates they go on could make the story feel more immersive.

Pacing – The story moves quickly from Ethan noticing the woman to them forming a relationship and getting married. While it’s understandable given the short length, adding a few small moments of doubt, growth, or emotional depth in their relationship would make it feel more earned.

Overall, this is a well-structured and engaging story with a unique premise. Adding more character depth, dialogue, and small conflicts would make it even stronger. Keep going—your ability to make an unusual topic feel heartfelt is a great skill!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of parable  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This parable presents an interesting contrast between two different interpretations of Christian teachings. The first Christian embodies generosity and selflessness, taking Jesus' words literally by giving everything they had. The second Christian, however, sees the situation through a more skeptical lens, potentially viewing the homeless man as undeserving or untrustworthy.

The strength of this parable lies in its simplicity and its ability to provoke thought. It doesn’t explicitly state which Christian was right or wrong, leaving the reader to reflect on the balance between charity and discernment. That ambiguity is powerful—it challenges personal beliefs and invites deeper contemplation on how one should act in such situations.

However, the phrase "Do not throw pearls before swine" is often interpreted as advice against sharing wisdom or valuable things with those who won’t appreciate them. Applying it to charity might be a stretch, unless the second Christian believes the homeless man would misuse the money. If that’s the intended meaning, it could be made clearer.

Overall, the parable is effective in sparking discussion about faith, generosity, and judgment. If you want to refine it, you might consider adding a final line that hints at the outcome—did the first Christian regret their generosity? Did the second Christian feel guilt? That could add another layer of complexity.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a fascinating and darkly amusing take on the prompt! The concept is strong—each word played in Scrabble has an immediate, literal effect on reality, with escalating consequences that lead to the apocalypse. There’s a clever balance of humor and horror, particularly with the progression from lighthearted words like "Dance" to catastrophic ones like "Nuclear." The diverse nationalities of the players add an interesting global element, reinforcing the idea that fate is collectively shaped by random decisions.

A few things that could be refined:

Tighter Execution – Some lines feel more like a summary than an immersive scene. The poem’s format works, but adding a bit more detail about the players’ reactions would enhance the tension. For example, what does Joe feel as he realizes the stakes? Does the organizer remain cold and indifferent?

Flow & Transitions – Some shifts between words feel abrupt. The jump from “Vodka” to “God” is jarring—perhaps a smoother transition or foreshadowing could make the sequence feel more organic.

Ending Impact – The final moment is chilling, but the wording could be more punchy. Instead of “the post-apocalypse in progress,” maybe something more visually striking—like Joe stepping into a burning city, or silence settling over the ruined world.

Overall, it's an inventive and bold piece with a lot of potential. With a bit more depth in execution, it could be even more gripping.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Evolutionary?  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really like the reflective tone of this poem. It challenges the outdated "caveman" stereotype and instead paints Neanderthals as deeply human—capable of love, superstition, and art. The imagery of exploring their caves and being humbled by time is especially powerful.

The line breaks give a nice rhythm, but a few places could flow more smoothly. For example, "Exploring caves now, / In what was then / their homes..." feels slightly disjointed—maybe reworking it to emphasize the contrast between past and present could strengthen the impact.

The closing thought is particularly strong, leaving the reader with a sense of connection rather than separation. If anything, I’d love to see even more sensory details—what does it feel like to stand in those caves? What emotions does seeing their art bring?

Overall, this is a thought-provoking and evocative poem. It blends history, evolution, and personal reflection beautifully.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece has a distinct and lyrical tone, almost like a hymn or ode, with a focus on themes of love, unity, and a harmonious future. The imagery you’ve woven is vibrant and full of emotional resonance, but there are a few areas where it could be polished to make it even stronger. Here's what stands out and where it could improve:

Strengths:
Lyrical Quality: The rhythm and choice of words give the poem a sense of grandeur. Phrases like "youthful, radiant soul" and "splendoured journey of inner peace" create an almost divine and serene atmosphere.
Themes of Hope and Unity: The focus on a better world and unified hearts brings a hopeful and uplifting tone. The sense of optimism is consistent throughout.
Vivid Imagery: You use descriptive language effectively to paint an idealistic picture of a harmonious existence.
Suggestions for Improvement:
Clarity and Flow: Some lines feel a bit overly ornate, which might make them harder to connect with emotionally. For example, "prodigous maladies shall cease to exist" could be simplified to enhance accessibility while keeping the meaning.
Word Choice: Consider revisiting "intently encarcerate" as it feels heavy and slightly jarring in the context of an otherwise uplifting piece. Maybe "banish" or "dispel" would work better for a smoother tone.
Grammar and Spelling: "Prodigous" should be "prodigious," and "splendoured" could be modernized to "splendid" unless you are purposefully aiming for an older style.
Unity of Tone: The shift between celestial and earthly imagery, such as "heavenly desires" and "willful enemies and baleful concoctions," feels a bit uneven. Tying these ideas together more seamlessly could strengthen the flow.
Specificity: The final stanza is lovely but somewhat abstract. Adding a more tangible or specific detail about what "inner peace" or "precipitous fortitude" looks like could ground the poem and make it more relatable.
Overall:
This is a strong, poetic reflection on love and hope with a romanticized flair. Refining some of the word choices, ensuring consistent tone, and focusing on clarity could elevate it further. The core message is beautiful and worth celebrating, and with a bit of editing, it could shine even brighter.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
The selection of shareable images provided by Writing.Com is a practical way to engage the community and promote the platform. Here's a quick review of each:

Voices in Your Head: This one sounds intriguing, but the title alone doesn't make its purpose entirely clear. The visual could benefit from a brief caption or tagline explaining its relevance to writing. If it plays on the idea of creativity or inner dialogue, it might work well for writers.

Writing Doesn't Have To Be A Solitary Hobby: This is a strong message that encourages community. It feels relatable and inviting, which could make it an effective tool for spreading awareness about Writing.Com.

Write?: The simplicity of this title gives it a catchy, minimalist vibe. Depending on the accompanying design, it could grab attention quickly, though it may need a stronger visual to carry the weight of its message.

Dust Off Your Diaries: This one stands out for nostalgia and motivation. It appeals to anyone who might feel inspired to return to writing. It's a great prompt to get people thinking about reviving their creative habits.

Build Character(s): A clever play on words. This would likely resonate well with writers who focus on character development. It's a unique angle that makes it more memorable.

WdC QR Code: This is functional and efficient but may lack the emotional appeal of the others. It's great for easy sharing, but adding a creative touch could make it more visually compelling.

Overall, the images cater well to different aspects of writing and community engagement. A little extra polish in some of the captions or designs could make them even more impactful for sharing and promoting Writing.Com.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)
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Review of Paperwork  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story, titled Paperwork, is an enjoyable blend of humor and light horror, effectively delivering an unexpected twist that adds intrigue and an amusing moral. Here’s an overall review:

Strengths:
Atmosphere and Tone:
The opening sets a vivid mood with stormy weather, creating an eerie and suspenseful tone that draws the reader in. The description of thunder, lightning, and pouring rain is well-executed and helps establish the story's mood.

Humor:
The humor tied to unfinished paperwork and its ghostly consequences is creative and makes the story stand out. The punchline at the end ties the narrative together and leaves readers smiling.

Pacing:
The buildup of suspense, from the initial scream to the investigation of the clerical room, is well-paced. It keeps the reader engaged as the tension escalates.

Surprise Twist:
The fake prank followed by the unexpected final scream is an effective twist. Just when readers think the mystery is resolved, the story leaves them with a chilling (and humorous) ending.

Areas for Improvement:
Character Development:
The story could benefit from giving a bit more personality to the characters. For example, fleshing out Bridgett’s role beyond her single line would make her more relatable.

Dialogue Flow:
Some of the dialogue, while functional, could feel more natural. For instance, “Stop! Don’t come any closer!” and “How could you do this to us?” could be rephrased to sound less formal and more conversational.

Clarity in the Ending:
The ending is deliberately ambiguous, which works for the mystery, but it might help to hint more strongly at whether the final scream was supernatural or part of the prank. This would ensure readers are left intrigued rather than confused.

Moral Integration:
While the moral is funny, its delivery could feel more integrated into the story. Mentioning the importance of completing paperwork earlier in the narrative might help tie the moral to the plot more cohesively.

Final Thoughts:
Paperwork is a fun, quirky tale with a clever concept and a memorable punchline. Strengthening the characters and polishing the dialogue would make it even more impactful, but as it stands, it’s an entertaining and lighthearted read with just the right amount of creepiness.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Unicorns and Luck  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a charming and engaging fantasy story with a strong fairy tale feel. The premise of a young rabbit on a quest to save his burrow is delightful, and the elements of unicorns, leprechauns, and magical weather create a rich, whimsical world. Below are my thoughts on strengths and areas for improvement.

Strengths:
Engaging Worldbuilding: The concept of Bunny Burrow being dependent on a unicorn’s blessing is unique, and the details about magic weakening over time add depth to the setting.
Skip’s Character Arc: His transition from an uncertain adolescent to a hero willing to take responsibility for his burrow is well-paced and natural.
Classic Fantasy Elements: The inclusion of a hidden unicorn, a tricky leprechaun, and the idea of using a birthday wish as a magical key make the story feel timeless and immersive.
Dialogue Feels Natural: The characters, especially Skip, Troy, and Liam, have distinct voices that match their personalities.
Areas for Improvement:
Stronger Emotional Impact:

Skip agrees to the quest almost instantly. Adding a bit more internal hesitation or struggle would make his journey feel more impactful.
The sense of urgency could be heightened with descriptions of how dire things have become in Bunny Burrow (e.g., rabbits starving, homes buried in snow).
More Tension in Key Moments:

The scene where Troy tries to enter the burrow during the storm could use more sensory details. How does the wind feel? Does Skip hear the howling of desperate rabbits?
The interaction with the leprechaun is fun, but his agreement comes too easily. Maybe he tricks them first or sets up a test before giving them his luck.
Sentence Structure & Flow:

Some sentences could be restructured for smoother readability. For example:
"It was her who guided him into the council chamber." → "She was the one who guided him into the council chamber."
Watch for minor grammatical errors, such as missing commas or run-on sentences.
A More Satisfying Ending:

The resolution happens very quickly once Troy restores the magic. Consider adding a small epilogue where Skip reflects on his journey, or the council acknowledges him as more than just a young rabbit.
Final Thoughts:
This is a fantastic and imaginative story that feels like a modern fairy tale. With a little fine-tuning, it could be even stronger, especially in terms of emotional stakes and pacing. Keep up the great work!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Kentucky Sunbeam  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
The imagery is light and warm—“The air was warm and dry,” “Clouds parted, rays shone,”—which helps set a peaceful mood. The shift from past sadness to present happiness is subtle, making the moment feel natural rather than forced. The last stanza is particularly effective, as it personalizes the experience by bringing in someone else ("Thanked you for singing along."). This adds depth, making the happiness feel shared rather than solitary.

One minor suggestion: consider varying the phrasing of "I guess it was a good day!" in one or two stanzas to keep the repetition from becoming predictable. For example, "Today turned out just right!" or "A day I won’t forget!" could add variety while maintaining the theme.

Overall, this is a feel-good poem that captures the beauty of small, happy moments. It’s simple, heartfelt, and relatable.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Road Runner 9  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This short piece captures the essence of determination and perseverance in a race. The narrator’s simple, straightforward style gives the story a raw and relatable feel. The focus on physical sensations—pumping arms, soaked shirt, pounding heat—helps pull the reader into the experience of the race.

The stumble near the finish line adds a moment of tension, making the final push to cross more satisfying. It’s a small but effective conflict that keeps the piece from being too straightforward. The ending is lighthearted and unexpected, with the mention of "food races," which might refer to fun runs often linked to eating contests or themed events. If that's the case, it could use a bit more context to clarify.

Some areas could be refined for flow. For instance, “The number 9 sign stuck to my shirt” could be smoother, maybe as “The number 9 stuck to my shirt.” Similarly, “fell on flat on my face” has an extra “on.” Small tweaks like these would improve readability.

Overall, this is a solid short piece with an engaging, relatable moment. It could benefit from slight clarifications and refinements, but it captures the physical and mental grind of a race well.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your piece captures the essence of each month with a mix of vivid imagery and humor. The tone is playful and engaging, making it an enjoyable read. Here are a few thoughts to enhance it further:

Consistency in Themes – Some months focus on nature (May, October, December), others on events (March, July, November), and some on personal struggles (April, August). Consider balancing these themes throughout for a more cohesive feel.

More Evocative Descriptions – "March launches March Madness" could be expanded beyond the sports reference to capture a broader sense of transition from winter to spring. Similarly, "July brings us July 4th picnics" could evoke fireworks, family gatherings, or the heat of mid-summer.

Refining Word Choice – "April the cruelest of all months - the tax man cometh for us all" is humorous, but "April is the cruelest month—the taxman looms over us all" would flow more smoothly.

A Stronger Ending – December’s line is good, but adding a final reflective touch could make it feel more complete, such as: December ends the year, snow covering the land in quiet remembrance.

Overall, it's a strong and creative reflection on the months. A little fine-tuning could make it even more poetic and memorable!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This statement carries a strong, almost philosophical tone, emphasizing the significance of honor and the weight of surnames. However, the phrasing could be refined for clarity and impact. Here’s a slight revision:

"The surname of unpretentiousness is 'Honor.' Surnames shape the paths of their bearers—do not tarnish them!"

This keeps the original intent while improving readability and flow.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece does a great job of building suspense and eerie imagery. Here are some thoughts on how to refine it:

Strengths:
✅ Vivid Horror Imagery – The descriptions of the Thing’s face are chilling, especially the grinning mouth, missing features, and bubbling nose holes. The blending of unnatural elements (laser-like teeth, gnarling ears) makes it feel truly otherworldly.

✅ Strong Sensory Detail – The pounding heart, numbed muscles, and eerie sounds add to the tension. The protagonist’s fear is palpable.

✅ Surprising Twist – The sudden reveal of an auditorium and applause flips the scene unexpectedly, adding a layer of mystery.

Areas for Improvement:
🔹 Sentence Clarity & Flow – Some sentences feel cluttered or slightly awkward. For example:

"I was stiff. My muscles were numbed, cried out for comfort." → Could be smoother:
"I was stiff, my numbed muscles crying out for comfort."
🔹 Overloaded Descriptions – Some imagery is striking, but too many intense details in one place can overwhelm the reader. Consider simplifying a few, like:

"Its moonface was blotched and swollen as if it had a furious fight with a giant whose hands battered its face continuously."
→ "Its swollen moonface looked battered, as if a giant had pummeled it relentlessly."
🔹 Pacing of the Twist – The transition from sheer terror to an auditorium with applause is abrupt. Maybe adding a brief moment of disorientation before the reveal would help ease the shift.

Suggested Small Revision for Clarity & Impact:
"I felt my heart pounding, like deep drumbeats rising from within the earth. I dared not open my eyes. My body was stiff, my numbed muscles crying out for comfort. The night swirled around me, thick with darkness.

Yet, I saw its face clearly.

It grinned from ear to ear—though it had no ears, only slits that crackled and growled. Blackened teeth gleamed, flashing like sharp laser beams. It had no body, just the shifting silhouette of a humanoid. Its eyes, deep and red, flickered in and out of shadow. Where its nose should have been, two bubbling holes churned with burning liquid. Its swollen moonface looked battered, as if a giant had pummeled it relentlessly.

I screamed. The sound shattered the silence, echoing like an explosion inside me. My voice cracked and raw, I thought I heard eerie movements in the room. My body trembled, rolling from side to side, turning to stone.

Then—applause.

It rose and fell in waves. The lights came on…"

This keeps the eerie tone, smooths out some phrasing, and makes the reveal hit harder.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Pollution  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem has a sharp, rhythmic flow that effectively captures the tension between environmental concerns and economic interests. The brevity of each stanza enhances its impact, making each word feel deliberate. The rhyme scheme works well, reinforcing the cyclical nature of the issues you’re addressing.

A few things to consider:

The phrase "demanding thereof / solution" is slightly archaic in tone. You might make it more fluid by reordering it (e.g., "demanding a clear solution").
"Cash propagates / dilution" is strong, but "propagates" leans abstract. A more concrete verb might heighten the clarity.
The final stanza is particularly striking. The shift from "collusion" to "exclusion" lands well, reinforcing the idea of common sense being sidelined.
Overall, it's a tight, evocative piece with a powerful message.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Day 6 - 1.18.13  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece has a stark, almost poetic quality that beautifully captures the desolation and quiet resilience of Celia and Marcel. The imagery is vivid, and despite the restrictions on words, you managed to paint a bleak yet emotionally charged setting.

Strengths:
Atmosphere & Tone – The contrast between longing for Monet-like pastels and the stark black-and-white reality is powerful. It enhances the feeling of loss and hardship.
Tension & Pacing – The short, fragmented lines mirror Celia's hesitancy and the slow, grueling passage of time.
Characterization – Even in this short piece, we understand Celia’s internal struggle and Marcel’s perseverance. Their bond is evident in the way they endure together.
Ending & Symbolism – The robin in the broken birdbath is a poignant and fitting symbol of hope amidst despair.
Areas for Consideration:
The prohibition of "cold, icy, snow" is creatively sidestepped, but phrases like “white in frigid air” and “blanketed in white” might feel like substitutes. If the prompt's intent was to avoid direct winter descriptions, you might push toward different sensory details.
The first two stanzas are beautifully poetic, but the phrasing can be slightly smoothed out for clarity without losing the artistry.
"Scarlet flash of cardinal / or was it blood?" is striking, but if "bird(s)" is forbidden, this might need reworking (though I love the ambiguity here).
Overall, this is a haunting and poetic piece that delivers strong emotions and stark survivalist imagery.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Book Lore  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
The lore you've created has a deep and fascinating foundation, full of conflict, intrigue, and moral complexity. The contrast between the Lightlings and Darklings is especially intriguing, with themes of betrayal, power struggles, and the consequences of unchecked ambition. The backstory of the entities—Corrosion, Salvation, Desperation, and Autonomy—adds a layer of philosophical depth, framing the world as a place where entities aren't just powerful beings but representations of opposing forces and ideas.

The world of Vulkon itself, with its cataclysmic events (The Volkuning) and the impact it has on its inhabitants, sets the stage for some serious drama. The fall of the Lightlings, their transformation, and the resulting backlash from the Darklings create a sense of constant tension. The Lightlings' hidden past and the inevitable repercussions of their actions offer great potential for plot development. There's a lot of potential for character-driven storytelling here, as the different groups grapple with their own histories and identities.

The introduction of unique races like the Treelings and Underlings enriches the world-building even more. The Treelings, with their deep spiritual connection to nature and their matriarchal society, feel like a people who could become a strong ally or enemy depending on the plot's direction. Their spiritual abilities and connection to their world also add an element of mysticism that balances the darker, more grounded elements of the story.

The Underlings, with their reverence for light and fire, add an interesting contrast to the other races. Their peaceful, non-confrontational nature doesn't make them weak, but rather resilient—surviving in harsh underground environments while staying true to their values.

The Lightlings’ tragic and flawed attempt to escape their past creates tension, and the gradual unraveling of their façade provides room for an exploration of guilt, denial, and the weight of history.

Your characters, especially the main characters from each group, seem well-positioned to explore these complex themes of redemption, power, and the costs of war. There's a lot of potential for intricate relationships, betrayal, and self-discovery as the characters deal with the consequences of their worlds’ past and their attempts to reshape their futures.

Overall, this lore presents a world brimming with conflict, mystery, and moral ambiguity—perfect for a rich, character-driven story with high stakes and deep emotional resonance.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a deeply personal and emotional piece, and the narrative presents an intriguing mix of surreal, future-oriented visions and intimate reflection. The story feels a little disjointed, almost like a dream or vision that doesn't quite follow the expected logic. The shift from a mental presentation of future technologies to the appearance of a daughter from the future is both unexpected and compelling, though the pacing of this transition feels rushed.

The idea of receiving a stock tip from a daughter who doesn't seem to exist yet is a fascinating concept, but the lack of deeper emotional development or context around this vision leaves the reader questioning the significance of it all. Why would this daughter choose to communicate with the protagonist in such a cryptic way? Was it truly a glimpse into the future, or just a figment of the mind?

The final twist, with the wife’s pregnancy and the eventual birth of Zoe, adds a beautiful sense of closure, giving weight to the seemingly fantastical experience. The emotional tone shifts here, and the reflection on the future of the daughter, Zoe, offers a hopeful, warm conclusion. However, the story would benefit from further fleshing out the protagonist’s emotional state after the vision, as the sudden switch to a routine, mundane life without much introspection leaves the event somewhat underexplored.

Overall, this is an intriguing, thought-provoking narrative about love, future possibilities, and the unknowable. It works best as an intimate, personal reflection, but could use some more depth in tying together the surreal and the real.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Lovestories  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece feels like a series of poetic musings about nature, relationships, and the emotional connections between elements in the world. The imagery is strong, and the flow of thoughts feels like a journey—both literal and metaphorical. The repeated personifications of the sky, river, ocean, and darkness give these natural elements a sense of life, which adds depth to the writing.

The first section, with the sky loving the land, presents a beautiful, protective love. The metaphor of the horizon and the sky’s desire for the land works well, though I wonder if the tension between the land’s hesitation and the sky’s devotion could be explored more. The sky’s feeling of self-deception—“how much the sky will long for the love of land”—is intriguing but could be made clearer with further reflection on why the land resists.

The second section with the river giving herself to the ocean paints a vivid picture of sacrifice and transformation. I really like how you describe the river as “sweet and fresh” and how she becomes “one” with the ocean by giving up her identity. The ocean, as a figure with “many wives,” contrasts with the river’s purity, showing the dynamics of love and how different types of love exist in the world.

The transition into the ocean’s desire for light works well, adding a sense of longing. The restlessness of the ocean, yearning for sunlight, is almost poetic in its simplicity. I also liked the shift from this vast, cosmic longing to the very human experience of newlyweds separating, which feels like a symbolic moment of transition.

The flute section is a nice touch—connecting the natural and emotional worlds with music. The idea of distance being bridged through emotion, even if physically far apart, is beautifully conveyed. The ending, with the feeling of being "lost in the home," ties everything together in an ambiguous yet emotional way.

Overall, it's an evocative piece with great potential for emotional depth. It’s a lovely exploration of connections, sacrifices, and the passage of time, all wrapped up in a mystical journey through nature and human experience. A little more clarity in some of the relationships between the elements and the human scenes would make the message even more powerful.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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