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Review of Royal CourtYard  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your writing paints a vivid and opulent picture of a grand feast, filled with elegant details that effectively set the atmosphere. The use of descriptive language, especially when discussing the table laden with foods and the floral arrangements, is very effective in immersing the reader in the experience.

However, there are some inconsistencies and points that could benefit from improvement:

Punctuation and Spelling: Be mindful of typos and misplaced punctuation. For instance, "Great Thrown Room" likely should be "Great Throne Room."

Sentence Structure: Your sentences are generally well-structured, but some could be broken up for clarity. For example, "No Royal Family would be complete without a Prince or Princess. In this case, it is my extreme pleasure to announce we have both!" could be rephrased for better readability.

Incomplete Ideas: The piece includes elements that seem unexplained or randomly inserted, such as "Image ID #2225904 Unavailable" and the query about who wrote "The Precocious Princess" and "Will The Real Princess Please Stand Up?". If these elements serve a purpose, that context should be made clear.

Plot Details: While the description is vivid, the overall narrative could benefit from some clarification. Is this an awards ceremony for royal titles? What significance do the titles "Prince of the Ball" and "winner of our 2nd place award" have? The importance or impact of these announcements could be further emphasized.

Cohesion: The transition between the feast and the walk through the gardens could be smoother. As it stands, the reader jumps from one scene to the next without much guidance.

In my opinion, your writing shows potential but would be enhanced by paying attention to these details. It's like setting a sumptuous table; every dish might be delicious, but presentation and flow matter too. With some refinement, your writing could captivate readers even more effectively.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your writing is concise, but it does require some attention to detail and structure. Here's a more in-depth review:

Clarity and Structure:
Your main point about solving writer's cramps by dictating to your cat is unique and intriguing. However, the text could benefit from a clearer structure. Consider breaking it down into paragraphs to separate ideas and make it easier to follow.

Grammar and Spelling:
Overall, your grammar and spelling are good, but there are a few minor issues. For instance, "felius domesticus" should be written as "felis catus" (the scientific name for domestic cats). Also, ensure proper capitalization at the beginning of sentences.

Supporting Evidence:
While your idea is humorous and creative, it lacks supporting evidence or examples. Including anecdotes or statistics about the benefits of dictating to a cat could make your argument more persuasive.

Tone and Style:
Your writing has a lighthearted and friendly tone, which aligns with your preference for relaxed responses. However, maintain a balance between informality and clarity to ensure your message is well-received.

Word Count:
Your initial writing is 218 words, falling short of the requested minimum of 250 words. Expanding on your concept or providing additional details and examples can help you reach the desired word count.

Research:
You mentioned that there are techniques available for teaching cats to type. Consider researching and including some information about these techniques to add depth to your argument.

In conclusion, your writing is creative and engaging, but it would benefit from better structure, more supporting evidence, and a closer adherence to the desired word count. Keep refining your ideas and presentation, and you'll make progress toward becoming an accomplished writer.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of Team Spirit  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem carries a motivational and determined tone, emphasizing the importance of individual effort within a team context. Here's a review of your poem:

Title: Team Spirit

In your poem, "There is no ‘I’ in team, they say. But there's an ‘I’ in win," you cleverly highlight the contrast between teamwork and individual contribution. This opening sets the stage for the central theme of the poem.

You express the idea that one's success in life is directly related to the effort they invest, which is a powerful and motivating message. This theme is consistent throughout the poem, driving home the importance of giving it your all.

The repetition of "You can depend on me" reinforces your commitment and determination to make a difference within the team. It's a strong reminder of reliability and trustworthiness, qualities that are crucial in any collaborative effort.

The line, "I may not be the greatest one; I may not be the best," demonstrates humility, a commendable trait. It reflects the acknowledgment that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, yet you are still willing to give your best.

The ending of your poem is charged with anticipation and a call to action. It urges the coach to "put me in" and emphasizes your eagerness to contribute and make a difference.

Overall, your poem effectively conveys a message of dedication, self-belief, and the importance of individual effort within a team. It's an inspiring piece that could resonate with anyone striving for success within a group endeavor. Keep up the excellent work!

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of When You Hurt.  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, titled "When You Hurt," conveys a deep and heartfelt message of love, compassion, and support. It's evident that you have poured your emotions into these words, aiming to offer solace and reassurance to your loved one during their times of pain and distress.

The repetition of the phrase "When You Hurt" serves as a powerful and comforting refrain, emphasizing your unwavering presence and commitment. This repetition not only reinforces the poem's central theme but also provides a soothing rhythm that resonates with the reader.

Your willingness to be there for your wife in moments of pain, to cry with her, embrace her, and shield her from further suffering, beautifully illustrates the depth of your love and compassion. The imagery of taking her pain and transforming it into love is particularly touching, symbolizing your devotion to making her burdens lighter.

The poem's closing lines are incredibly moving, expressing a profound and everlasting love that transcends the trials of life. The mention of soaring to the heavens and leaving behind earthly pain adds a sense of hope and eternal connection to the narrative.

Overall, "When You Hurt" is a touching and heartfelt expression of love and support. It effectively communicates the depth of your feelings and your unwavering commitment to being there for your wife, making it a beautiful tribute to your relationship.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece provides a very specific perspective on a monumental historical event—the assassination of President Abraham Lincoln. Writing from the point of view of the weapon used in the crime adds an unconventional lens through which we see the events unfold. This choice provides both emotional distance and unexpected immediacy, giving the act a sense of inevitability that's chilling.

The opening line is strong, setting the tone for the whole story. You immediately introduce the personification of the Derringer, elevating it from a mere object to an active participant in the event. Throughout the piece, you maintain this persona well, allowing the gun to be both observer and actor.

The build-up to the fatal moment is crafted with tension. Your depiction of the theater, the crowd, and even the restless guard adds layers of realism that keep the reader engaged. The actual act, the shot, is described with a grim sort of triumph, as if the Derringer believes it has fulfilled its destiny.

However, there are some aspects to consider. The piece seems to glorify or dramatize a deeply tragic and controversial act. It's essential to handle such topics with sensitivity, considering how they might be received by the reader. Given the voice of the Derringer, it could be interpreted that the assassination is portrayed as a performance or spectacle, which could be offensive or jarring to some.

You use some dated terms, like "lady's pistol," which are appropriate for the period but might require a little more context or framing to avoid perpetuating stereotypes or archaic notions. Also, the spelling "Sic semper tyrannous" should actually be "Sic semper tyrannis."

Lastly, while the narrative is compelling, it ends abruptly. Considering the gravity of the event, a more reflective or conclusive ending might provide a more complete narrative arc.

Overall, your piece is well-executed and brings a unique viewpoint to a significant historical event. However, be mindful of the implications of your chosen perspective and how it can shape the reader's understanding or emotional response to the narrative.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of A Sunrise  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece, "A Sunrise," is an introspective journey through the abstract concepts of time, future, and the present moment. It incorporates philosophical musings, drawing on Taoist philosophy, quantum physics, and even literary references like "The Tao of Pooh" to make its arguments. It's a deep dive into the intricacies of human thought about our place in time.

The strongest elements in your writing are the vivid metaphors and similes. Describing the past as a movie unrolling frame by frame is particularly effective. You also use the metaphor of the sunset and sunrise to represent the past, present, and future. This offers readers an accessible way to grasp complex, abstract ideas. Moreover, the personal narrative style allows readers to connect with the thoughts you're sharing. Your journey from confusion to enlightenment becomes an allegory for the reader's own journey of understanding.

However, there are areas for improvement. The writing occasionally tends to jump between different thoughts without adequate transitions, which could confuse the reader. While the overall message is clear, a bit more structure would allow your ideas to flow more coherently. Furthermore, your piece could benefit from careful proofreading. There are minor grammatical errors that distract from the otherwise philosophical tone of the essay.

The sentence, "We are here and what we think and the decisions we make a creates what we think of as the future," has a small mistake. "Make a creates" should be corrected to "make creates" or perhaps, "make actually create."

Despite these minor issues, your essay successfully provokes thought and introspection. It urges the reader to consider their own views on time, the future, and ultimately, the concept of hope. It serves as a call to action to be more mindful and purposeful in our actions, which aligns with your final message of hope being the guide to a future we can be proud of. Overall, it's an insightful and thought-provoking read.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of Have a Heart  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your piece is emotionally gripping and presents a dramatic situation where Mark is faced with a dire dilemma. The stakes are incredibly high, which is essential for a compelling narrative. Each paragraph seems to ratchet up the tension, which serves to engage the reader thoroughly. I also appreciate how you create immediate emotional investment by starting with the heart-wrenching revelation that Tyler might not be Mark's son.

In terms of areas for improvement, the transition from Mark's love for Tyler to his willingness to plot against Michelle feels a bit abrupt. While the narrative does establish the desperate stakes, the leap to plotting what seems like an intended fatal accident is quite significant. The motivation is clear but could use some more fleshing out to make Mark’s dark decision more believable. Additionally, the pacing at which Mark plans Michelle's accident might require more buildup to give the storyline its deserved weight. Right now, the plan is alluded to, but we don't get a lot of insight into Mark's internal conflict, which would be beneficial in understanding his complex feelings and ethical dilemma.

Another thing to consider is the ethical implications of Mark's actions. It's a dramatic twist, but depending on the message you'd like to convey, it may risk alienating readers who find the decision morally indefensible.

From a technical standpoint, the writing is mostly clean, but you may want to look into the change of tone in the sentence "He knew Michelle had a lead foot." Given the dark context, the phrasing here comes off a bit colloquial, which can jar the reader given the gravity of the previous and subsequent lines.

In summary, this is a captivating narrative that needs just a bit more fleshing out in some areas to make it fully compelling and believable. Keep up the good work!

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "THE INDIAN REVOLUTION," captures the tumultuous period in India's history with a sense of gravitas. It also showcases the transition from the first upheaval in 1857 to the attainment of independence in 1947, providing a broad historical arc. The style is straightforward, making it accessible to a wide audience, yet it doesn't lose the complexity of the topic at hand.

There are several strengths to your work. First, your use of concise, structured stanzas lends the poem a rhythm that helps the reader follow along. The succinct lines keep the content focused and help condense a vast period into a relatively short piece. Second, you balance the description of the two major events—The 1857 Revolt and the Independence Movement led by Gandhi—rather well.

However, there are areas for improvement. The use of "dearth of" to indicate that the British had plenty of firepower might not be instantly clear to all readers. It's a bit of an old-fashioned term and could be simplified. Also, the term "mayhem" in the stanza about Gandhi seems a little vague, given the specificity of earlier stanzas. You could consider elaborating on the hardships people faced.

Lastly, while you do mention important events like the Jallianwala Bagh massacre, the poem might benefit from a more in-depth exploration of either the emotional toll of these events or a closer look at the key figures involved. This could provide the reader with a richer, more textured understanding of the Indian revolution.

In terms of formality and complexity, you've struck a fair balance. Given the solemn subject, the formal tone feels appropriate, yet the diction isn't so complex that it alienates readers.

Overall, your poem serves as a good primer for anyone interested in this facet of Indian history. With some tweaks, it could be a powerful educational tool as well.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of Toot WC: 615  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your short story, "Toot," is an engaging narrative that explores themes of loneliness, identity, and the complexities of love—both human and canine. The story keeps the reader engaged through a sense of unfolding mystery and a relatable character in Connie.

The pacing of the story is generally well-executed. It doesn't rush too quickly into the confrontation but builds tension subtly with the recurring appearances of the mysterious Gremlin. The use of a canine character to symbolize comfort and companionship is poignant. It’s interesting how you've personified Toot (or Buster), making him a central figure that contributes to the unfolding drama.

You have a knack for capturing the internal emotions of your characters. Connie's loneliness and gradual upliftment through Toot gives her character depth. In a short span, you manage to convey her psychological state—something that readers can empathize with.

However, the story could benefit from a bit more detail about Ed. While he is crucial to the climax, we know very little about him. Fleshing out his character could add another layer to the story. Additionally, the dialogue between Connie and Ed could be more natural. Their conversation seems a little rushed considering the gravity of the situation.

The ending offers a touch of warmth and hope, closing the narrative loop nicely. It leaves the reader optimistic about Connie's future and her potential relationship with her new dog and perhaps even Ed. The emotional stakes are high, but they resolve in a manner that is satisfying.

In terms of your aspirations as an accomplished writer and someone who wants to be successful, this story showcases your potential. You've managed to weave emotions, plot, and character development seamlessly. Keep honing your craft, and don't shy away from delving deeper into your characters and their motivations.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "Love, profound enigma's quest," is a beautifully evocative piece that grapples with the ineffable concept of love. Your writing is rich in metaphor and poetic imagery, which lends an ethereal touch to the subject matter.

The structure and rhyme scheme are quite consistent, contributing to a unified and fluid reading experience. Your opening lines, "Love, profound enigma's quest, / A spark, or silence's crest," immediately set the tone for the poem by presenting love as something complex, a subject of ongoing inquiry.

However, the line, "River's eternal flow," seems somewhat disconnected from the lines that surround it. While it evokes the idea of something never-ending, like love, it feels a little out of place with the immediate metaphors and images.

Another aspect to consider is the vagueness of the phrase, "Journey, both, for me." It's not immediately clear what the "both" refers to. Is it the "Measured depths" and "infinite sea"? Or does it have a broader implication? Clarifying this could add depth to your poem.

You've effectively used various literary devices such as alliteration, as in "Hearts bloom, radiant fire," and assonance, as in "Endure trials, life's strife," which enrich the poem's texture.

Overall, your work reflects a high level of craft and a deep emotional intelligence. It presents a nuanced view of love, one that goes beyond mere sentimentality to grapple with its complexities. It's a poem that invites multiple readings, each offering new insights into the many facets of love.

To make your poem even more powerful, consider diving deeper into some of the metaphors, offering a bit more specificity or expanding on what each metaphor or image is trying to convey in the context of love.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of Farewell  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your story, "FAREWELL," is emotionally resonant and captures the feeling of a bittersweet ending in the career of a dedicated athlete. The narrative brings out the complexities of saying goodbye to a sport that has been an intrinsic part of the protagonist, Jake Sexton's, life for 19 years.

Here are some elements that stand out:

Atmosphere: You've effectively created a charged atmosphere, from the buzz in the stadium to the smaller, more intimate moments in the locker room.

Emotional Arc: Jake's journey from uncertainty to acceptance is mapped out thoughtfully. The story builds towards the final game and especially the last at-bat, making it a climactic moment.

Humor: Light-hearted moments, such as the interaction with Trevor Jacobs, provide necessary relief and humanize the characters.

Realism: The technical aspects of baseball are sprinkled throughout, making it feel authentic.

However, there are areas for improvement:

Pacing: While the narrative is engaging, some sections could be tightened to keep the momentum going. For instance, the descriptions of each at-bat could be made a bit more concise without losing their essence.

Character Development: While it's clear this is a story about Jake, more could be done to flesh out the secondary characters. For example, a few lines on why the manager or Dave, the clubhouse manager, will particularly miss Jake could add depth.

Language and Syntax: While your language is generally fluid, consider varying sentence structures to avoid monotony and to better reflect the emotional tone of different scenes.

Conclusion: The ending line, "I think tomorrow I'm going to take a nap," adds humor and closure. However, considering this is a life-altering moment for Jake, a little more insight into what he’s looking forward to in his life post-baseball would add emotional weight.

Overall, it's a compelling narrative that captures the essence of saying farewell to a significant chapter in life. Keep writing, as your ability to generate emotional resonance will surely draw readers into any story you choose to tell.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your piece delves into a subject that many people often overlook—the power of prayer and the profound weight of the words we utter before sleep. By beginning with a familiar childhood prayer, you instantly resonate with readers who may have heard or spoken those words themselves. This makes for an effective hook.

You then engage the reader by encouraging them to reflect on the prayer’s deeper meaning. This strategy propels your narrative from mere nostalgia to thoughtful inquiry, questioning the impact of these words and the faith they represent.

Your piece also effectively weaves in the concept of mortality—a topic most would prefer to avoid—by asking, "What if there is no tomorrow for you?" This question serves to jolt the reader into contemplation. However, you might want to consider expanding on this point a bit more, possibly introducing personal anecdotes or insights to provide a deeper context.

The conclusion where you talk about your own spiritual journey—asking God to help you pray continuously—adds a personal touch that many can relate to. Yet, it also leaves room for a more extensive discussion. How did you come to this point? What has been your experience thus far?

The last line, "Peace and blessings always," serves as a comforting farewell, but it might be strengthened by a more definitive closing statement that encapsulates your message.

Overall, your work serves as a thoughtful reflection on the power and depth of a simple prayer, challenging the reader to consider their own beliefs and practices. It's well-written and engaging, yet could be enriched by incorporating more personal experiences or elaborating on the points already made.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of BEAR DANCE  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The poem "BEAR DANCE" offers a delightful glimpse into a world of imagination and wonder. The subject matter is whimsical, focusing on the fantasy of befriending a bear and going on an adventure together. This adds an element of childlike awe and innocence, making it accessible and engaging.

Your choice of simple language and straightforward sentence structures ensures that the poem is easily digestible. The rhyming scheme (ABABCC) used in the stanzas contributes to its musical quality. Rhymes make a poem more memorable and entertaining, especially for younger audiences.

One area to improve could be the flow of the poem. In lines like "O bear, why you / Are gray, not blue?" the phrasing feels a bit awkward. Standard English grammar would typically structure this question as, "O bear, why are you gray, not blue?" Fixing grammatical inconsistencies can make the poem flow more smoothly, without sacrificing its charm.

The poem is consistent in its tone and theme throughout, which adds to its overall cohesiveness. However, you may want to explore deeper emotions or reflections in between the joyful events. For instance, you could add a stanza that discusses the narrator's feelings about the day or the bear's impact on their life, giving the reader more emotional substance to connect with.

Another suggestion would be to add vivid descriptive language or metaphor to elevate the imagery. While the straightforward descriptions are endearing, elaborating on the colors, scents, or sensations experienced during this adventure could enrich the narrative.

In terms of rhythm and meter, while you have a good start, you could aim for a more consistent meter to improve the flow. Consistent meter could make the "bear dance" come alive even more vividly in the reader's imagination.

Overall, your poem successfully captures the joy of friendship and adventure in a fantastical context. With some minor tweaks for flow, grammar, and depth, it could be even more captivating.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem is a compelling tapestry that weaves together the natural world and the journey of life, capturing the essence of time's passage and the transformative power of memory. There's a melancholy undertone to your verses, yet they convey an uplifting message, one that beckons us to remain hopeful and open to new experiences.

You've effectively used metaphors and similes to convey complex emotions. The idea that years, months, and days form a forest with "boughs and twigs intertwining" is particularly striking. This metaphor not only captures the interconnectedness of time but also represents the complexity of life, with its myriad moments and memories.

Your poem also reflects the notion that time ages us but imbues life with different meanings and flavors—"Age blends to scent new flavors thus garnering new meanings." It's an empowering idea, suggesting that age doesn't merely erode us but adds layers of interpretation and value to our experiences.

Your closing lines serve as both a reminder and a call to action. Even when one is tired and feels they have seen much, it is crucial to stay attuned because "the strongest and sweetest have yet to be sung." These lines embody both hope and a warning against complacency, advocating a mindset of eternal curiosity and optimism.

A minor point to consider might be the transition between stanzas. While each stanza is potent on its own, smoother transitions could offer a more cohesive read. You might also consider varying the rhyme scheme or rhythm for added texture, though that's a stylistic choice and entirely up to you.

Overall, the poem is deeply evocative and thought-provoking, a lyrical reminder of the beauty and complexity inherent in the passage of time.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece, which seems to be inspired by religious or moral teachings, carries a message of hope and assurance. It emphasizes the idea that adhering to certain "precepts" or principles can guide one through difficult times and lead to success. While the message is uplifting, there are a few areas in the text that could benefit from refinement for clarity and impact.

Firstly, the term "gospel" is wrapped in single quotation marks. If you are referring to religious teachings or a universally accepted truth, you may consider whether the quotation marks are necessary. They can sometimes indicate irony or skepticism, which may not be your intended tone here.

Secondly, the phrase "If you conduct yourself in a manner worthy of, and in line with my precepts" is quite formal and a bit complex. While it effectively communicates the importance of aligning one's behavior with set principles, it might benefit from some simplification for easier understanding. Something like, "If you live by my teachings" could deliver the message more straightforwardly.

Thirdly, the phrase "wade and thrive through all crisis" combines two verbs ("wade" and "thrive") that could potentially conflict in their meanings. "Wade" generally implies difficulty or sluggish progress, while "thrive" implies prosperity and growth. It might be more effective to choose one verb that encapsulates the overall sentiment you wish to convey.

Finally, the term "winner you are created to be" could be seen as ambiguous. The word "winner" could have many interpretations and might not fully encapsulate the spiritual or moral victory you might be referring to. Perhaps a term that aligns more closely with the 'precepts' mentioned could provide a clearer conclusion.

Overall, your text aims to inspire and provide moral guidance, which it does effectively. However, considering the aforementioned points could make your message even more powerful and easier to understand.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of decievement  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem captures the duality of human emotions, particularly the struggle between facing reality and escaping it. The title, "Decievement and torture, Excitement and interest," immediately alerts the reader to the contrasts they're about to explore. You've created a vivid character consumed by a toxic element that he is aware of but chooses to endure. The phrase "Whether it is a wave of drowsiness or a tsunami of realization" is particularly striking; it encapsulates the emotional spectrum that your character navigates.

Your choice of metaphors and images, such as "blocking the light of the sun" and "holding back the winds," adds texture to your poem. These elements symbolize the all-encompassing nature of the emotion or object that engulfs the character. It's as if the entire universe bows to this overpowering force, making it a force of nature rather than just an emotion.

However, the term "Decievement" in the title may be a typo. If you mean "Deceit" or "Deception," correcting this would provide more clarity to your readers.

The poem could benefit from more consistency in punctuation and structure. While poetry often allows for more flexible use of language and form, maintaining a consistent style can aid the reader in following your thoughts more coherently. Additionally, the shift from "They yell at him" to "forgetting myself" seems to introduce two different perspectives. If this is intentional, it might be helpful to make that clearer to the reader.

Overall, you have a strong foundation here. With some polishing, the emotional depth you're aiming for will shine even more clearly, adding another layer of resonance to your work. Your ability to distill complex emotions into poetic form is a powerful skill that could certainly be honed further as you strive to become an accomplished writer

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your narrative, originally from 2022 and now part of your novel "Turnabout Teardown," is intriguing on multiple levels. It offers an intimate look into complex relationships and emotional landscapes, set against an atypical backdrop. Here's a breakdown:

Strengths:
Emotional Weight: The portrayal of Tabi and the protagonist's relationship is deep, filled with nuances. It captures the vulnerability and trust that are pivotal in any meaningful relationship.

Ambiance: Your descriptive language creates an enveloping atmosphere. The details about the fire, the weather, and even the snoring contribute to the mood and tone.

Characters: Each individual is unique and has depth. Agoti acts as a foil, which highlights the protagonists' relationship dynamics even further.

Areas for Improvement:
Pacing: While the emotional build-up is effective, the story sometimes languishes in details that might not be essential to the plot or character development. For example, the discussion about Tabi's past is long but seems inconclusive.

Clarity and Consistency: There are times when the perspective changes or becomes a bit unclear. Also, the sentence structures are occasionally awkward, leading to a bit of stumbling upon reading. For example, "Cold outside was, that time in spring..." could be rewritten for better readability.

Dialogue: While the internal dialogues are emotionally resonant, actual spoken interactions between characters are minimal. More dialogue could break up the narrative, provide additional character insight, and pace the story better.

Suggestions:
Consider editing the pacing to give priority to crucial moments and delete or condense the less relevant details.

Revise the sentence structures for better clarity and consistency.

Introduce more dialogue where possible to add another layer of interaction between the characters. Dialogue can often say more about a character than paragraphs of description.

Your story reveals a lot about human complexity and the struggle for acceptance and trust, which are universal themes. It delves into emotional and psychological corners that many narratives don't explore, making it a captivating read. Given your aspirations in writing, you're well on your way to creating profoundly impactful work. The story holds great promise for further exploration and emotional impact

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Our futures, born from our past
We all try to follow our dreams
Living our lives through our opinions
Yes, every life matters!

Opened myself up for ridicule
By sharing what I truly believe in
Through my works of creation
Yes, every life matters!

I care about improving our lives
I care about my true love
But I realize

Our futures, born from our past
We all try to follow our dreams
Living our lives through our opinions
Yes, every life matters!

I care about improving our lives
I care about my true love
But I realize

Opened myself up for ridicule
By sharing what I truly believe in
Through my works of creation
Yes, every life matters!

I’ve written with hope within my heart
Creating a living tapestry for two
An opera without an end
Yes, every life matters!

Always cared about helping all of you
Always cared about your dreams coming true
Always cared about healing our collective past
Always cared about not doing any wrong
But I’ve waited, for my true love’s hand

My love has encased others with art
Born from simply my mind and heart
An old soul brought forward in time
Yes, every life matters!
(pause)
Yes, every life matters!

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem presents an intriguing tapestry of images and concepts, which gives the reader much to ponder. However, it's essential to note that while the text has a lot of stylistic elements—ranging from rhyming schemes to intriguing word choices—the overall theme could be clearer.

The poem's first stanza seems to comment on the role of a critic, possibly likening them to nobility. This creates a starting point for the reader to understand the work. However, as the poem progresses, new elements like "turns of leaves," "Monday's coming," and "Super holes relate" are introduced. These themes don't immediately appear to connect, leaving the reader unsure of the overarching message.

Your use of language and rhythm is certainly striking. Phrases like "Generates a rife totality" and "Awesome constructs thank eternity" have a kind of grandiosity that could be very effective if anchored to a clear thematic intention. The mystery is tantalizing but could be frustrating if one is looking for a concise message or emotion.

Regarding formality, the poem has a somewhat traditional structure in its use of four-line stanzas with an AABB rhyme scheme, but the content within diverges from traditional subject matters. It's a mix that adds to the complexity of the poem, but also its opaqueness.

In terms of emotional tone, the poem ranges from the serious ("Pertaining to the ranks of nobility") to the seemingly light-hearted ("Monday’s coming, with no stress"). This creates an emotional texture that's rich but a bit confusing.

Overall, the poem has a lot of promise and individual lines that are striking both in terms of their language and imagery. But what's lacking is a cohesive thread that ties it all together, a common theme or message that can make the reader go "Ah, that's what it's all about." You may want to consider revising with an eye towards clarifying your main point or theme.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Thank you  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
It's wonderful that you're taking the time to express gratitude to your readers and supporters. This adds a personal touch to your writing journey and strengthens the bond between you and your audience. Here are a few points to consider when conveying your thanks:

Specificity: While a general 'thank you' is always welcome, it may enhance the impact if you are more specific about what you're thankful for. Is it their constant support, their constructive feedback, or perhaps the inspiration they provide?

Emotion: Your message is earnest, but adding a touch of emotion could make it resonate even more. For example, you could say something like, "Your support has been the fuel to my creative engine," or "Knowing you're out there reading my work makes the long nights of writing worth it."

Future Plans: You briefly mentioned that you intend to continue writing. This is good, but you might make it more compelling by giving a teaser or hint about what they can look forward to. This not only makes your thank you message an update but also an exciting preview.

Incentive for Engagement: Since you're in a position to thank people, you might also want to consider using this as an opportunity to engage your audience further. You could invite them to participate in a poll to choose a storyline for a future chapter, or ask them for specific feedback to make your work even better.

Tone and Structure: The tone of your message is friendly, which aligns well with your objective. However, breaking it down into shorter sentences and using varying sentence structures could make it more readable and engaging.

Here's a revised version:

"First and foremost, I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude to each of you who have taken the time to read my chapters. To those who have gone the extra mile by becoming a fan or gifting points—your support means the world to me. It's your encouragement that makes the often solitary process of writing feel like a community endeavor.

I fully intend to continue this creative journey, and I have some exciting plans in the pipeline that I can't wait to share with you. Your engagement is the cornerstone of my motivation, and I would love to hear your thoughts on what you'd like to see in future chapters.

Once again, thank you for being the fuel to my creative fire. Stay tuned, the best is yet to come."

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "People telling truth, with a lie or two," captures a complex, multi-layered perspective on human life and nature. The piece seems to explore the idea that both nature and humans are intricate, sometimes unfathomable entities that possess both truth and falsehoods.

Your poem opens with an observation about the imperfections of human honesty, drawing the reader into contemplating the contrasting aspects of truth and deception. This theme transitions smoothly into a discussion about life's inherent challenges and the indiscriminate way nature can treat us.

The poem then delves into nature's positive qualities, discussing how it is "positive, fruitful, and sincere." By juxtaposing human flaws with nature's purity, you underscore the duality that exists in both. This builds into a statement about the "action and purpose" in life, emphasizing qualities like "soul, brevity, wit, and strength."

Your diction and stylistic choices are evocative. Phrases like "grand, kaleidoscopic circumference" and "unparalleled, pristine realms" fill the poem with vivid imagery that gives a sense of the world's vastness and beauty. This visual richness adds another layer of complexity to the piece, highlighting the magnificence of the planet we call home.

There is a rhythm and flow to the piece that carries the reader along, although it could benefit from a bit more consistency to create a more unified read. The use of em dashes and commas felt a little erratic, possibly affecting the pacing and flow of the poem. You might consider revising the punctuation to ensure that it serves the rhythm you're aiming for.

Overall, your poem offers a thoughtful exploration of the world around us, tinged with the understanding that life is a blend of positives and negatives, truths and untruths. It encourages the reader to appreciate the complexity and beauty of both human nature and the Earth itself.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece touches on multiple emotions and phases of life, encapsulating a sense of resilience, love, sorrow, and ultimately, a lust for life. It's like a roller coaster that doesn't want to stop, echoing the sentiment of living each moment fully.

Structurally, the repeated refrain of "Gonna live until I die" serves as a potent anchor, tying the different experiences and emotions together. It works well to drive home the overall message: that life, with all its ups and downs, is worth living passionately.

In terms of imagery, the line "Bask in sunshine, smell the Clover" particularly stood out. It symbolizes hope and rejuvenation, a turning point in the narrative where the protagonist chooses to embrace life anew.

However, there are a few areas that could benefit from refinement:

Consistency: The piece occasionally drifts between informal and formal tones, especially with words like "Darlin" and "Lordy" contrasting against more formal phrases. Finding a consistent voice may improve the overall flow.

Rhyme and Rhythm: While the rhyming works well in most instances, it sometimes feels forced or predictable. A surprising rhyme or a break in the rhyme scheme could introduce a fresh dynamic.

Depth: Some of the lines feel surface-level and might benefit from deeper exploration. For example, the section about "dancing with all the girls" could delve into what this truly means for the narrator — is it a metaphor for freedom, or perhaps, a mask for loneliness?

Overall, the piece is engaging, with its uplifting message and emotional range. The mantra "Gonna live until I die" speaks universally, imparting a sense of courage and a zest for life that's contagious. The text conveys the spirit of a person who has faced hardship but chooses to engage with life wholeheartedly. Well done!

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of My Mom is Me  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The piece "By: Angelique White" is a heartfelt ode to the relationship between a child and their mother. The repetition of "My Mom is" serves as an anchor for the poem, providing a steady cadence that keeps the reader engaged and emphasizing the deep connection the speaker feels with their mother. This repetition is a classical technique in poetry, adding rhythm and underlining the sentiment.

The choice of adjectives—beautiful, wonderful, smart, intelligent, and so forth—showcases the multifaceted nature of the mother figure. She's not just a caregiver, but also an embodiment of virtues that the speaker aspires to or recognizes within themselves.

The line "My Mom is me and I am her" is especially intriguing. It speaks to the symbiotic relationship that often exists between parent and child. The child sees their qualities mirrored in their parent and vice versa. This blurring of identity serves as a profound way to express their inseparable connection.

However, the piece could benefit from more variety in its structure and expression. While repetition serves as a useful tool for emphasis, overuse can risk making the work seem monotonous. Perhaps introducing some contrasting lines or breaking the pattern at a certain point could add more dynamism to the poem.

In addition, the poem tends to tell rather than show. For instance, saying "My Mom is Smart and Intelligent" could be more powerfully communicated by providing an example that demonstrates her intelligence. By showing the characteristics in action, the message could be more compelling and relatable.

Overall, this poem offers a touching, although somewhat repetitive, tribute to the maternal figure. It successfully conveys the admiration and deep emotional bond between the speaker and their mother but leaves some room for further stylistic and thematic exploration.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
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Review of Almsgivers  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem "Almsgivers" presents a captivating blend of imagery, emotion, and message. The dichotomy between the harshness of nature and the warmth of human kindness provides a striking landscape for the themes you tackle.

Let's look at the structure first. The poem is broken into stanzas that separate different ideas—moving from learning, to discovery, and then to gratitude. This allows the reader to progress along with you as you navigate the lessons and landscapes in the poem. Each stanza adds a layer to your overarching narrative, creating a well-balanced structure.

Your choice of words is noteworthy. Phrases like "barefoot is for those brave" and "electronic brain cells and strong hands" are evocative, sparking both emotional and intellectual engagement. The choice of terms such as "almsgiver" and "bonanza" also adds an air of gravitas and complexity, adding more layers to your narrative.

However, the transition between stanzas could be smoother. You move from personal observations to an almost proverbial lesson in the middle, and then onto an expression of gratitude. While each stanza is poignant, a more fluid transition might improve the flow and readability.

You've beautifully described a "land of scorpions and wasps" which seems harsh and inhospitable, yet you have placed kindness and gratitude within this setting. The contrast is well-executed and adds depth to the poem. It demonstrates the power of kindness and generosity in less than ideal conditions, highlighting the human capacity for goodness.

Overall, the poem does an excellent job of encapsulating gratitude and kindness in an environment that one wouldn’t usually associate with such feelings. This makes the poem powerful and relatable, as it reflects how we all have to navigate complexities—be they emotional, social, or environmental.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of My Blood Red Rose  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "She bleeds red roses, my darling love," exhibits a harmonious blend of passion, metaphor, and subtle complexity. The imagery is vivid and resonates well, especially when comparing the emotion of love to the complexity of a rose. Roses symbolize beauty, love, but also have thorns that signify pain or complications; this multifaceted metaphor effectively captures the essence of love itself—beautiful but not without its own set of challenges.

The choice of words like "knife-edged words," "petal invectives," and "fragrant swords" gives weight to the emotional drama playing out. They depict both the tenderness and the potential hurt that are intrinsically part of any meaningful relationship.

The poem also uses rhythm and rhyme to its advantage. However, it's worth noting that the rhyme scheme varies, which may disrupt the flow for some readers. You might consider maintaining a consistent rhyme scheme for a more fluid read.

The phrase "pricked by a thorn from enchanted vine" is particularly impactful as it alludes to the unavoidable complications ("thorns") that come even from enchanting experiences ("enchanted vine"). This detail adds another layer of depth to your metaphorical exploration of love.

However, the line "Life-giving liquids surround us: rose petal delight" felt slightly jarring. While imaginative, it might need more context or perhaps rephrasing to fit more seamlessly into the established mood of the poem.

Finally, the concluding lines tie back to the central theme and make a memorable closure, promising an eternal scattering of petals "but until forever, she is mine." This duality of eternity and the present moment encapsulates the essence of the poem wonderfully.

Overall, your poem is evocative, filled with both rich imagery and nuanced emotions. It successfully portrays love's complexity, much like a rose—beautiful, fragrant, yet fraught with thorns.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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