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Review of Almsgivers  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem "Almsgivers" presents a captivating blend of imagery, emotion, and message. The dichotomy between the harshness of nature and the warmth of human kindness provides a striking landscape for the themes you tackle.

Let's look at the structure first. The poem is broken into stanzas that separate different ideas—moving from learning, to discovery, and then to gratitude. This allows the reader to progress along with you as you navigate the lessons and landscapes in the poem. Each stanza adds a layer to your overarching narrative, creating a well-balanced structure.

Your choice of words is noteworthy. Phrases like "barefoot is for those brave" and "electronic brain cells and strong hands" are evocative, sparking both emotional and intellectual engagement. The choice of terms such as "almsgiver" and "bonanza" also adds an air of gravitas and complexity, adding more layers to your narrative.

However, the transition between stanzas could be smoother. You move from personal observations to an almost proverbial lesson in the middle, and then onto an expression of gratitude. While each stanza is poignant, a more fluid transition might improve the flow and readability.

You've beautifully described a "land of scorpions and wasps" which seems harsh and inhospitable, yet you have placed kindness and gratitude within this setting. The contrast is well-executed and adds depth to the poem. It demonstrates the power of kindness and generosity in less than ideal conditions, highlighting the human capacity for goodness.

Overall, the poem does an excellent job of encapsulating gratitude and kindness in an environment that one wouldn’t usually associate with such feelings. This makes the poem powerful and relatable, as it reflects how we all have to navigate complexities—be they emotional, social, or environmental.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of My Blood Red Rose  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "She bleeds red roses, my darling love," exhibits a harmonious blend of passion, metaphor, and subtle complexity. The imagery is vivid and resonates well, especially when comparing the emotion of love to the complexity of a rose. Roses symbolize beauty, love, but also have thorns that signify pain or complications; this multifaceted metaphor effectively captures the essence of love itself—beautiful but not without its own set of challenges.

The choice of words like "knife-edged words," "petal invectives," and "fragrant swords" gives weight to the emotional drama playing out. They depict both the tenderness and the potential hurt that are intrinsically part of any meaningful relationship.

The poem also uses rhythm and rhyme to its advantage. However, it's worth noting that the rhyme scheme varies, which may disrupt the flow for some readers. You might consider maintaining a consistent rhyme scheme for a more fluid read.

The phrase "pricked by a thorn from enchanted vine" is particularly impactful as it alludes to the unavoidable complications ("thorns") that come even from enchanting experiences ("enchanted vine"). This detail adds another layer of depth to your metaphorical exploration of love.

However, the line "Life-giving liquids surround us: rose petal delight" felt slightly jarring. While imaginative, it might need more context or perhaps rephrasing to fit more seamlessly into the established mood of the poem.

Finally, the concluding lines tie back to the central theme and make a memorable closure, promising an eternal scattering of petals "but until forever, she is mine." This duality of eternity and the present moment encapsulates the essence of the poem wonderfully.

Overall, your poem is evocative, filled with both rich imagery and nuanced emotions. It successfully portrays love's complexity, much like a rose—beautiful, fragrant, yet fraught with thorns.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of Be Positive  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your poem, "My Blood Type is B Positive," is a delightful piece that cleverly plays with the concept of blood types as a metaphor for outlook on life. It's both whimsical and insightful, and I appreciate the way you've used this theme to convey a positive message.

The title itself is a clever wordplay, using your blood type as a symbol of optimism. Throughout the poem, you maintain this theme and reinforce the idea that having a positive attitude can make a significant difference in one's life.

The poem's structure is consistent and easy to follow, with each stanza presenting a different blood type and the associated emotions or challenges. This format allows the reader to engage with each scenario and contemplate the broader message you're conveying.

I particularly enjoyed the lines, "Be positive is what I say when things are going bad," and "Without that precious lively flow we all would be quite dead." These lines capture the essence of your message and provide a strong conclusion to the poem.

Overall, your poem is well-crafted, and it effectively communicates the importance of maintaining a positive outlook in life. It's a charming piece that can resonate with readers and remind them of the power of optimism. Great job!

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of Old Magic  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Your passage captures a vivid and engaging moment in the lives of these characters as they prepare for an impending battle. Here's a detailed review of your writing:

Characterization: You've done an excellent job of introducing and developing your characters, each with distinct personalities. Ayu's internal struggle with listening and his desire to learn healing, Unarak's wisdom and leadership, Tove's strength and grace, Artro's humor, and Ren's guidance - all of these traits come across clearly, making the characters relatable and memorable.

Imagery: Your descriptions are evocative and paint a clear picture of the setting and emotions of the characters. The late evening scene by the campfire, the wind, and the interaction between the characters are well-detailed, immersing the reader in the story.

Dialogue: The dialogue feels natural and serves to reveal character traits and relationships effectively. Ayu's insecurity and eagerness to learn, Tove's playfulness, and Unarak's wisdom come through convincingly in their conversations.

Emotion and Theme: You've successfully conveyed the emotional depth of the characters, particularly Ayu's struggle with listening and his desire to become a healer. The theme of self-discovery, responsibility, and the impending battle adds depth to the narrative.

Pacing: The pacing of the story is well-balanced. It starts with a reflective moment around the campfire, gradually building tension as they discuss the battle ahead, and then shifts focus to Tove's injury, creating a sense of urgency.

Healing Scene: The healing scene is a powerful moment in the story. It not only showcases Unarak's unique abilities but also highlights the camaraderie and respect among the characters. It's a pivotal scene that adds depth to the narrative.

Foreshadowing: You've subtly foreshadowed the upcoming battle, creating anticipation and intrigue in the reader's mind. The characters' preparation and Unarak's words about the battle being challenging contribute to this sense of impending conflict.

Ending: The ending of the passage sets the stage for what's to come. Unarak's words about the battle not being easy create a sense of foreboding, leaving the reader curious about the outcome.

In conclusion, your writing effectively combines character development, vivid imagery, and thematic depth to create an engaging and immersive scene. It successfully sets the stage for the upcoming conflict while exploring the characters' personal struggles and relationships. Keep up the excellent work, and I look forward to reading more of your writing.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of In Love's Bouquet  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: E | (5.0)
You've crafted a poem that explores the themes of passion and intimacy, and it does so with a certain degree of intensity and vivid imagery. Let's delve into a more detailed review of your poem.

Title:
The poem doesn't have a title, which can sometimes leave readers feeling a bit disconnected. A well-chosen title can serve as a gateway to your poem, offering a glimpse of what's to come. Consider giving your poem a title that encapsulates its themes or emotions.

Structure and Rhyme:
Your poem consists of four quatrains (four-line stanzas) with an AABB rhyme scheme in each. The consistent rhyme scheme gives the poem a sense of balance and symmetry, which works well with the theme of love and unity. It's a classic structure for romantic poetry.

Imagery:
Your use of imagery is strong throughout the poem. You paint a picture of two lovers deeply entwined, lost in their passionate moment. Phrases like "The sweat of love" and "Guttural sounds, Heady wine" evoke the sensory experiences of the moment. This vivid imagery draws readers into the world you've created.

Emotion and Passion:
Your poem is brimming with passion and desire, which is evident in lines like "My hungry soul, Is hers tonight, Make her whole, Savage delight." You've effectively conveyed the intensity of the moment and the overwhelming emotions of the lovers involved.

Grammar and Syntax:
The grammar and syntax in your poem are well-structured, making it easy to read and understand. Each line flows smoothly into the next, maintaining a consistent rhythm.

Overall, your poem captures the essence of a passionate and intimate moment between two lovers. With a thoughtful title and perhaps a bit more variation in the structure or imagery, it could become an even more engaging and memorable piece of poetry. Keep writing and experimenting with different styles and themes to continue honing your skills as a writer.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"






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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your composition titled "Sam Adams was running" presents a vivid scene set in the bustling atmosphere of Bangkok's Cosmos Bar. The narrative unfolds with Sam Adams, presumably the main character, managing the bar on behalf of his friend, the formidable tigress Khun Lek. The sudden arrival of extraterrestrial visitors seeking a simple beverage, a beer in this case, adds an unexpected twist to the story. Sam's response, a somewhat bewildered "what the hell," captures his surprise and perhaps a touch of amusement at the unusual situation.

The incorporation of the idiom "When the cat’s away the mice will play" lends an air of playfulness to the narrative. This saying, often used to describe situations where people take advantage of the absence of authority figures, adds depth to Sam's interactions with the bar's patrons and the contrasting presence of Khun Lek.

The subsequent line, "When the tiger (Khun Lek) is gone the rabbit is King," introduces an element of hierarchy reversal. This intriguing notion suggests that in the absence of a strong leader like Khun Lek, a seemingly less powerful figure, symbolized by the rabbit, can rise to prominence. This dynamic brings an element of reflection on power dynamics and the unexpected ways they can shift.

The phrase "when the cat is gone the mice will play" parallels the idiom and serves as a prompt to explore Korean equivalents. This demonstrates your inclination to draw connections across cultures and languages, enriching your writing with diverse influences.

In considering your piece, I appreciate the imaginative scenario and the way you integrate cultural expressions. Expanding upon the interactions between the characters and delving deeper into their emotions could enhance the overall narrative. This glimpse into your creative process and style showcases potential for growth as you continue your journey towards becoming an accomplished writer.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of Dynamic Phase  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You've crafted a thoughtful and introspective piece that beautifully captures the essence of life's journey. Your poem reflects the concept of constant change and growth, a theme that resonates deeply with many readers. The imagery you've employed, such as the shadows of yesterday giving way to dawn's light and the promise of tomorrow with uncharted paths, paints a vivid picture of the stages we navigate through life.

Your choice of words and phrasing creates a smooth and rhythmic flow, enhancing the overall reading experience. The repetition of phrases like "Each one, a unique chapter to live" and "I am not stagnant, that much I know" helps to emphasize the central themes of embracing change and personal development.

Furthermore, your poem's positive and optimistic tone is uplifting, offering a sense of hope and encouragement to the reader. The acknowledgment of evolving with grace and finding one's own space during each phase adds a sense of wisdom and maturity to the piece.

Expanding on the themes you've presented could provide an opportunity to delve deeper into the emotions and reflections associated with life's transitions.

Overall, your writing showcases your aspiration to be an accomplished writer, and your ability to convey meaningful ideas in an engaging manner is evident. Keep exploring and refining your craft, and your writing journey will undoubtedly lead you to even greater achievements.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece evokes a sensory journey through vivid imagery and nostalgic flavors, forming a tapestry of warmth and joy. The opening lines gracefully capture the essence of a serene morning, where the delicate birdsong harmonizes with the gentle touch of dew on the grass. The incorporation of visual and auditory cues immerses the reader in the scene, painting a serene picture of a new day.

As the verses progress, you seamlessly transition into a delectable spread of breakfast delights. The choice of treats like blackberry jam, chocolate chip pancakes, and savory items like fried eggs with bacon and sausage creates a palpable connection between the reader and the comfort of a well-loved morning meal. The vivid descriptions invite readers to savor the flavors alongside you, fostering a sense of shared experience.

The poem's middle section adds an enchanting layer, where the sunshine intertwines with romantic gestures. The mention of a ring hidden away in a pocket sparks curiosity and a touch of sentimentality, creating a blend of delight and anticipation in the reader's mind.

You proceed to capture the vibrancy of a summer carnival, as the taste of sunshine shifts to embrace the festive atmosphere. The inclusion of fried dough, cotton candy, and the bustling ambiance of rides and games brings the scene to life, enabling readers to relive their own memories of such joyous occasions.

Concluding on a heartwarming note, you conjure images of gatherings with friends and family, embellished with the comforting flavors of classic dishes. The imagery of lemon drops, butterscotch, and various delectables further enriches the scene, leaving readers with a sense of togetherness and contentment.

Overall, your writing effectively marries sensory experiences with emotions, creating a captivating piece that not only tickles the taste buds but also kindles feelings of nostalgia and happiness. Your skillful interplay of imagery, emotions, and flavors makes this a delightful and engaging composition.


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Review of fit  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

Your writing, "FIT," resonates with a poetic depth that delves into the intricacies of connection, from the microcosm of molecular interactions to the macrocosm of shared human experiences. The imagery you've painted throughout the piece evokes a sense of unity and synchronicity.

The introductory stanza, adorned with vivid descriptions, invites readers into the realm of science and discovery. The metaphor of a unique molecule fitting into a brain cell sets the stage for the overarching theme of compatibility and unity that unfolds.

As the poem transitions, the intimate scene of two bodies nestled together creates a powerful contrast to the scientific imagery introduced earlier. The intimacy between two people is portrayed as a natural alignment, much like the pieces of a puzzle fitting seamlessly. This progression adds a layer of emotional resonance that complements the initial scientific analogy.

Your exploration of synchronization deepens as you delve into the interconnectedness of thoughts, breaths, and cycles. The comparison of shared experiences to synchronized dances beautifully captures the essence of togetherness, highlighting how our lives intertwine and influence one another.

The analogy of cows returning to a familiar path and the mention of electric currents running through the cerebellum emphasize the concept of patterns and ingrained connections, drawing parallels between nature and human cognition.

Your depiction of sharing a piece of modern media art as a shared meal provides a modern touch, blending technology with human connection. The metaphor of ingesting dancing images brings out the idea of absorbing and internalizing shared experiences.

The concluding lines elegantly tie together the theme of synchronicity. The notion that thoughts, although originating from individual minds, can align perfectly is a profound reflection on the universality of human experience.

In terms of style, your use of descriptive language paints a vivid picture, and your pacing effectively guides the reader through different stages of connection. The structure of the poem complements the theme, with each stanza building upon the previous one.

Your work successfully captures the essence of unity, alignment, and shared experiences, and it showcases your ability to weave together scientific and emotional threads in a cohesive and engaging manner. The word count of your piece is 305 words. Your writing exudes a tranquil maturity that resonates with your desire to be an accomplished writer. Keep nurturing your unique voice and exploring various themes to further hone your skills and reach greater heights in your writing journey.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of Unforgotten Souls  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You've beautifully captured a poignant moment in the life of Uncle Henry, a seasoned individual who has seen the passage of time and cherished memories. Your portrayal of his emotions and the relationship with his great-great niece, Teresa, adds depth to the narrative.

The attic scene provides insight into Uncle Henry's character and his connection to the past. The pile of mementos and the photograph symbolize the treasure trove of memories he holds dear. Your description paints a vivid picture of nostalgia and attachment.

Uncle Henry's revelation about the photograph's subjects leads to a heartfelt conversation with Teresa. The contrast between their generational perspectives highlights how societal norms have evolved over time. The dialogue about polyamory introduces a thought-provoking element, exploring relationships beyond the conventional norms of the era.

The revelation of Christopher's tragic fate elicits empathy from the reader, deepening the emotional impact of the story. The decision to honor Christopher's memory with a birthday celebration is heartwarming and speaks to the enduring bond between the characters.

The story's conclusion is bittersweet and contemplative, as Uncle Henry reflects on the passage of time and the inevitability of his own journey to join his loved ones. The imagery of David and Christopher beckoning to him is a poignant way to convey the idea of reunification and afterlife.

Your writing style effectively captures the emotions and nuances of the characters, making the reader feel connected to their experiences. The narrative flows smoothly, allowing the reader to become immersed in Uncle Henry's recollections and emotions. The inclusion of dialogue and introspection creates a well-rounded depiction of the characters' thoughts and feelings.

Overall, your piece is a moving exploration of love, memory, and the passage of time. You've skillfully created a narrative that resonates with readers on an emotional level, and your ability to convey complex emotions in a relatable manner is a testament to your skill as a writer.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your writing carries a vivid sense of anticipation and the weight of responsibility as you recount the events surrounding the unveiling of your ambitious plans for the town. The imagery of your poised confidence and the crowd's reception, whether tumultuous or celebratory, draws the reader into the emotional journey you've experienced. Your words invite us to empathize with your initial enthusiasm, and the subsequent turn of events hits with an unexpected intensity.

As your narrative unfolds, the disheartening reaction of the crowd, their rage, and the devastation they cause are palpable. Your ability to convey your emotional state – the tightening of your jaw, the pounding of your heart, and the turmoil within you – evokes empathy from your readers. The scene is depicted with such detail that it's easy to picture the chaos and destruction that ensue.

Your determination to persevere amid the chaos is inspiring. Despite the setbacks and losses you've endured, your commitment to your vision and the betterment of your community shines through. The emotions you share, such as fear and despair, resonate with authenticity. Your descriptions of the aftermath, the ruins of your cherished compound, and your renewed resolve to succeed emphasize the depth of your character's resilience.

Your portrayal of the future, the idea of change, and the technology hidden away hold the promise of a brighter path. The transformation you aim to bring about resonates with a sense of purpose, and your desire to guide and uplift society is compelling.

Overall, your writing encapsulates a mixture of determination, emotion, and aspiration that takes the reader on a journey through triumphs and tribulations. While the events you describe are dramatic and intense, your narrative approach allows readers to connect with your character's hopes, dreams, and struggles. Your writing holds the potential to captivate readers and evoke a wide range of emotions, drawing them into a world that is both captivating and thought-provoking.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of " I'M Greatful "  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)

I must commend your heartfelt expression of gratitude in the piece titled "I'm Grateful." Your words beautifully convey your appreciation for the blessings life has bestowed upon you. The simplicity and sincerity of your writing resonate strongly, making it a relatable piece that many can connect with.

The opening statement, "I am so grateful for life that Jesus Christ gives for strength," immediately establishes a sense of reverence and gratitude towards the divine source of strength. Your use of capitalization for emphasis adds a thoughtful touch to the sentiment.

The subsequent lines, where you enumerate various aspects of life to be thankful for, effectively capture the essence of gratitude. Your recognition of basic yet vital elements like sight, breath, and clear thinking underscores the importance of these gifts often taken for granted. Additionally, your mention of having a voice to speak and ears to hear highlights the ability to communicate and connect with others, another aspect of life worthy of gratitude.

The phrase "For the steps foot steps I take with limbs with strength" carries a rhythmic quality, lending a poetic flow to your writing. It celebrates the physical ability to move forward, underscoring the role of strength and mobility in one's journey.

In terms of suggestions, consider reviewing the spelling of the word "grateful" as "greatful" is a common misspelling. Also, while your writing is rich in sentiment, you might consider adding a bit more descriptive language or metaphors to enhance the imagery and evoke a deeper emotional response from the reader.

Overall, your expression of gratitude is touching and meaningful. Your writing style is genuine and approachable, inviting readers to join you in reflecting on life's blessings. Keep embracing this authentic voice in your writing journey, and remember that the power of gratitude resonates strongly with audiences seeking moments of connection and introspection.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
The piece you've shared captures the essence of profound change and self-discovery. The imagery of "Changes riddle life" establishes a theme of transformation and uncertainty. The portrayal of these changes as sources of pain, like "uncomfortable growing pains," paints a relatable picture of discomfort that accompanies personal growth. The concept of amputation metaphorically conveys the loss of certain aspects of one's life while embracing the new.

The metaphor of standing at a crossroads reflects the pivotal moment in life where decisions must be made. Your honest acknowledgment that life isn't perfect and is crumbling adds authenticity to your narrative. The struggle for strength in the face of depression shows the resilience of the human spirit.

Your reflection on your marriage adds a layer of complexity to the piece. The divergence between you and your husband's perspectives is poignant. Wondering whether the challenges are a midlife crisis or a culmination of long-standing unhappiness delves into the internal conflict. The phrase "chiseled away at us" vividly portrays the slow erosion of happiness over the years.

Your admission of not feeling like soul mates and suppressing your true self around your husband reveals the emotional depth of your experiences. The struggle to fit into societal expectations and questioning whether love was the driving force adds introspection.

The piece ends with a note of determination to press forward, even in solitude. This closing sentiment captures the spirit of resilience and growth. Overall, your writing is introspective, emotionally charged, and thought-provoking. It effectively delves into personal struggles, relationships, and self-discovery. With your ability to convey emotions and experiences, you're well on your way to becoming an accomplished writer who engages readers on a deep level.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of Might I?  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your writing is poetic and contemplative, beautifully expressing a desire for self-acceptance and understanding. The repetition of the phrase "I wish to love me the way you love me" lends a poignant rhythm to the piece, underscoring the yearning for self-love akin to the affection from another. The metaphor of borrowing someone else's sight and heart to perceive oneself from a different perspective is evocative, suggesting a longing to view oneself through a lens of kindness and compassion.

The reflection on reciprocity in the latter part of the writing is thought-provoking. The decision to love another in the same way they love you demonstrates a deep commitment to understanding and empathy. By aiming to see and feel for them as they do for you, you create a cycle of mutual affection that fosters connection and unity.

The closing lines—"Alas, that is not how it goes. I shall love you the way you love me then."—convey a bittersweet realization of the complexities in achieving such harmonious understanding. This introspective acknowledgment adds depth to your exploration of love and perception.

Overall, your writing is imbued with emotion and resonance. Your use of metaphors and repetition effectively conveys your sentiments, and the progression from self-reflection to acknowledging the dynamics of mutual love offers a well-rounded perspective. Keep honing your craft, as your talent for expressing heartfelt thoughts is truly captivating.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece, "Once Upon a Serene Land," paints a vivid and enchanting picture of a world where peace is not just a distant ideal, but an integral way of life. The storytelling is captivating, drawing readers into the tranquil realm of Serenica and its heartwarming village of Havenbrook. The theme of peace resonates strongly throughout the narrative, and your use of descriptive language adds depth to the setting, characters, and emotions portrayed.

The introduction of Serenica as a place where peace is an embraced reality immediately captures the reader's attention. By emphasizing that peace is more than the absence of conflict, you highlight the nuanced perspective the people of Serenica hold. The connection between the landscape and the story of peace is beautifully illustrated through your descriptions of children playing, wind whispers, and vibrant wildflowers. This not only showcases your skill in setting the scene but also reinforces the central theme of harmony.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

The introduction of Elara adds depth to the narrative, and her role as a wise elder and custodian of peace provides a relatable figure for readers to connect with. The arrival of Kael, the traveler seeking inner peace, introduces an element of personal growth and discovery that complements the broader themes of the story.

Throughout the piece, you successfully convey the message that peace is a journey of self-discovery and an ongoing commitment. Kael's transformation from a weary traveler to a valued member of the community exemplifies this journey. Your exploration of diversity, unity, and embracing differences adds a layer of complexity to the theme of peace, making it even more impactful.

The passage of time, the passing on of wisdom, and the perpetuation of the legacy encapsulate the story's circular structure and emphasize the enduring power of the message. Your narrative concludes with a poignant reminder that peace is attainable through choices made with compassion, kindness, and love.

Your piece meets your word count requirement, coming in at 554 words. The writing style is cohesive, engaging, and thoughtful. The themes you explore and the character development you achieve demonstrate a strong grasp of storytelling. In terms of improvements, you might consider refining the pacing in certain areas to maintain a consistent flow throughout the narrative. Overall, your story successfully combines elements of fantasy, wisdom, and self-discovery to create a touching tale that aligns well with your aspirations of becoming an accomplished writer.


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Review of Daddy  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your heartfelt letter to your father is a touching tribute that balances sentiment with the passage of time and personal growth. There's a certain maturity in how you've portrayed your changing relationship with your father, moving from the idolization of childhood to a more nuanced understanding in adulthood. The poem beautifully traverses through various life stages, acknowledging the emotional and physical presence of your father in them.

The opening stanza sets the tone effectively, highlighting the unique relationship between a stepfather and a stepchild. The choice to accept not just a partner, but also their child, adds a layer of intentionality and commitment that might not be present in biological relationships.

Your wording is simple yet impactful, which makes the message easy to grasp. "Thoughtful, kind, wise"–these descriptors are straightforward but encapsulate an entire character in just a few words.

The transition of your feelings towards your father from childhood to adulthood is clear and touching. It's interesting how you address the complexities of human nature in the lines, "Knowing you are human, as well as Dad." This line strikes as particularly insightful, acknowledging that parents are not just parental figures but also individuals with their own flaws and strengths.

However, while the poem touches on key emotional aspects, incorporating more specific memories or anecdotes could enhance its emotional depth. Sharing moments that have led you to the current feelings you possess for your father could enrich your narrative and offer the reader a glimpse into your shared history.

Lastly, the closing stanza successfully wraps up your feelings and pays homage to the limitations of words when expressing something as profound as love. The line "Words are not enough" acts as a poetic recognition that the written form can sometimes fall short of capturing the complexities of human emotion.

Overall, this is a tender and loving piece that many can relate to, even if they don't share the exact circumstances.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


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Review of Names  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your story explores the interesting idea of the weight given to last names in romantic decisions. The premise is unique and offers a blend of realism and fantasy, particularly with the talking "mirror me."

The narrative's pacing is mostly smooth, but you may consider refining some transitions for better flow. For example, the shift from Alison's internal monologue to the sudden appearance of the talking mirror could be smoother. You may also want to clarify why Alison suddenly begins to speak with "mirror me." Is it her subconscious breaking through, or is it a magical event? The context might make the revelation more compelling.

I noticed a few inconsistencies and potential areas for refinement:

The character is named "Alison" but the mirror calls her "Alice." If this is intentional, consider offering some explanation.

You've employed both first-person and third-person perspectives. If the story begins in Alison's voice, her thoughts and feelings should take precedence. The sudden shift to Dr. Pittaway's perspective could be jarring.

Some sentences could be more concise for impact. For example, "I’d been standing there in the dark for over an hour, hoping that Ted would come back" could be "I'd stood in the dark for over an hour, waiting for Ted."

Spelling and grammar need a bit of polishing. For instance, "Stanley’s was a Demplewiser" might be clearer as "Stanley was a Demplewiser." Also, watch out for inconsistent use of quotation marks and apostrophes.

The conclusion, involving Mrs. Wonderland, adds an interesting twist but feels somewhat abrupt. If you wish to maintain this twist, consider offering subtle hints earlier in the story.

Overall, the piece explores an amusing yet thought-provoking concept that many can relate to: the influence of names on life choices. It's an engaging story, but attention to narrative consistency and some grammatical tweaks could make it stronger.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece is a fascinating blend of imagery and metaphor that challenges the conventional notions of creation and identity. The vivid opening sentence "Smoke trailing from the smokebox of a train" instantly engages the reader's senses. You evoke a sense of movement, a feeling of transience, and the enigma of a journey. The smoke serves as a powerful symbol, perhaps standing for ideas, emotions, or life experiences.

However, what sets your piece apart is the question that follows: "If I used it as ink, would my words float off the page?" Here, you introduce a blend of the practical and the ethereal. Smoke is, by its nature, transient and ever-changing. But ink, used in the act of writing, becomes a permanent fixture. This question taps into a deeper dilemma about the enduring impact of words and ideas. Do they float away, lost to the winds of time? Or do they leave an indelible imprint?

Finally, the revelation "I am what I create" provides a succinct yet profound climax. The message is clear; we are inextricably tied to our creations. They define us as much as we define them. The choice of the word "stick" also serves to emphasize this link, suggesting both a physical and metaphorical attachment. "Stick to my fingers, stick to my face, stick to my tongue" employs repetition to drive home this theme of irrevocable connection.

In terms of improvement, the brevity of your piece may leave some readers yearning for more. A longer piece could provide a richer, more nuanced exploration of these intriguing themes. However, the compact format is also its strength, delivering a potent message with economy.

Overall, your writing has a poetic charm and raises thought-provoking questions. It demonstrates the capacity for a simple, yet evocative phrase to leave a lasting impact on the reader. In so doing, it achieves a type of permanence, much like the ink you describe.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing your story; it covers a lot of ground emotionally, from workplace dynamics to unspoken affection, and even ventures into the supernatural. It does a good job of holding the reader's interest throughout.

Strengths:

Emotional Complexity: You've done a commendable job portraying the inner emotional states of Violet and Stan, which makes for a more engaging read.
Atmosphere: The settings—from the workplace to the church—are vivid, giving life to the characters and events.
Plot: The story incorporates a sense of urgency and curiosity, particularly with the twist involving Violet's haunting.
Areas for Improvement:

Pacing: The story could benefit from a more balanced pace. For example, Stan's decision to join the Marines feels sudden and could be fleshed out more.
Dialogue: While the conversations are generally good, they could be more natural. People usually don't speak in complete, formal sentences, especially in casual conversations.
Consistency: Violet’s feelings toward Stan seem to grow rapidly. Even though there's intrigue on her part, the shift to "love" is quite sudden. A more gradual build-up could add depth.
Concerns:

The story ends on a bittersweet but problematic note, especially given the implications of Violet's soul entering a cat. It's a fascinating twist, but some might find it disconcerting given the weight of the themes involved.
Stan's reaction to potentially being haunted could be more complex. While it's fair for him to seek help, he seems remarkably cool about the entire thing.
In terms of style, you've maintained a good balance between descriptive text and dialogue, but a closer examination for grammatical errors, like missing spaces or inconsistent punctuation, would make the narrative smoother.

Overall, the story does succeed in offering an intriguing narrative, but refining the pacing, dialogue, and consistency could elevate it further. It’s a unique story with an unexpected yet poignant ending. Keep writing!

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Mirror  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your story, "The Mirror," is a compelling narrative with a supernatural undertone that explores themes of friendship, familial bonds, and the often-destructive nature of control. The story keeps the reader's attention by layering mysterious events on a seemingly mundane backdrop. However, there are a few areas where improvement could be beneficial.

Pacing: The story felt somewhat rushed. While the suspense is palpable, taking more time to build the characters and explore the backstory of the haunted house and its mirror could provide a more immersive experience for the reader. Given the importance of Adam's relationships, more context could be helpful.

Dialogues: Conversational dialogues are great for pushing the narrative forward, but it's essential to keep them natural and informative. At times, the dialogues feel a bit too expository, which can detract from the flow.

Grammar and Structure: There are some grammatical errors and inconsistencies in the text. Proper punctuation, especially around dialogues, will improve readability. Moreover, the use of tense fluctuates, which can distract the reader. Staying consistent with either past or present tense is advisable.

Show, Don't Tell: Instead of stating emotions or information directly, showing them through actions or descriptive language could make the narrative more compelling. For instance, Fran's control over Adam and the house could be shown through her actions or body language, rather than explicitly stated.

Ending: The conclusion does offer some form of closure, but it also raises more questions. Is the house itself sentient? What happens to Fran? Addressing these points could provide a more satisfying end to the narrative.

Complexity: Characters like Adam and Fran could be further developed to add depth. For instance, it would be interesting to explore Adam's internal conflict about his mother's actions and how he reconciles with it, if at all.

In my opinion, you've tapped into an exciting concept that combines the supernatural with raw human emotions. With more focus on character development, pacing, and narrative structure, this could turn into a truly captivating tale.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of That Old Book  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem exudes a sense of nostalgia and tranquility that many can relate to. It captures the essence of how an old, familiar book can act as a conduit to our past, bringing moments frozen in time back to life. The imagery of a book as a "precious gem" hiding among others sets the tone for the emotional journey that unfolds.

Your use of poetic devices like assonance and rhyme creates a melody that aids in the flow of the poem. Phrases such as "Time has passed and time has flown" and "scene is followed fast by scene" also employ rhythm effectively, rendering a sense of urgency contrasting the "surge of peace" the book brings.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythmic scheme to lend it a seamless flow. Right now, the meter of the lines varies, which can be distracting to the reader who is trying to follow a consistent tempo. This inconsistency slightly hampers the emotional weight of the poem.

Additionally, the poem touches upon the themes of the fleeting nature of time and the permanence of written memories but doesn't delve deeply into either. The stanza that reads "Catching them is futile game," for example, suggests an emotional complexity that could be further explored. Taking the reader on a more detailed emotional journey could enrich the overall impact of the piece.

Lastly, the lines "yet in paper fibrous bed, / wings of memories find rest" are beautifully constructed. They encapsulate the primary theme, conveying the idea that despite the ephemeral nature of memories, they can find a permanent home in the written word.

In summary, your poem is a heartfelt and well-constructed tribute to the power of books and the written word to act as a gateway to our past. A few adjustments in rhythm and thematic exploration could elevate it even further

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem is an emotional and evocative piece that delves into the complex feelings surrounding the commitment to military service. The narrator, presumably a young woman, seeks to assure her parents that she's undertaking this path with both conviction and understanding of its legacy in her family. You've tackled a deeply emotional subject with sincerity.

The use of repeated phrases, like "And one way or another/I know I'll make it home," provides a strong sense of structure and continuity. This repetition also hammers in the narrator's determination and optimism, juxtaposed against the underlying risks.

Your poem successfully uses simple language to express complicated emotions, making it accessible. However, there are places where you might improve the rhythmic flow. For example, "you raised me true," might sound smoother if phrased as, "you raised me to be true." This adjustment helps in maintaining the meter, thereby enhancing the poem's musicality.

The generational context—mentioning Great Grandpa, Granddad, Uncle Bill, and Dad—adds a layer of complexity, tying the individual experience to a family history of service. While this is powerful, you could also consider weaving in specific experiences or lessons from these ancestors for a richer texture.

The line, "And if it is 'another,' know to Heaven I have flown," is poignant and brings the weight of potential loss into the piece. However, the following lines, "Try not to worry, although, I know you will," could be further intensified to match the emotional weight of the preceding lines.

Lastly, the phrase, "Know I am always home," is a strong conclusion that encapsulates the narrator's emotional connection with her parents and home, even if she's physically away.

Overall, the poem is emotionally charged and poignant, effectively engaging the reader with the narrator's personal journey and the familial context of military service.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Be Animal  
Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "Let's be Animals," takes the reader on a thought-provoking journey, presenting a utopian vision that juxtaposes the simplicity of animal life with the complexities of human existence. The thematic core revolves around the ideal of escapism, an urge to leave behind societal norms, responsibilities, and conflicts to embrace a more uncomplicated life.

The structure follows a balanced rhythmic scheme, making the poem easy to follow. You also employ the refrain "Let's be animals," which serves as a compelling anchor for the reader, reiterating the essence of your message.

I do notice some inconsistencies in the poem's tone. For example, lines like "Plain like innocents, with dreams so shallow" suggest a sort of condescension toward animals, whereas the majority of the poem elevates their simplistic lifestyles. If the goal is to romanticize the uncomplicated life animals lead, you may want to maintain a consistent tone throughout.

Additionally, while the poem touches on several aspects like loyalty, freedom, and innocence, it might have more impact if it delved deeper into one or two of these qualities. For example, you could explore what makes the loyalty of a dog or the freedom of a horse enviable, drawing parallels or contrasts with human behavior.

There's an element of generalization in describing animal life as "easy," which might not capture the full scope of the survival struggles they face. You could consider this perspective to add another layer to your poem.

In terms of grammar, you've kept things mostly straightforward. However, you might want to revisit lines like "no people disagree, or no care to wear?" for clarity.

Overall, the poem successfully triggers the imagination and prompts reflection on the complexities of human life. You've put forward a yearning for simplicity that many will relate to, especially in times of strife and struggle.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by WriterRick
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your poem, "Perfect Imperfection," is a deeply emotive and insightful piece that touches on the theme of self-perception and the transformative power of love. The recurring image of "the mirror of your eyes" is a beautiful metaphor that highlights how significant others can offer a more forgiving, loving perspective of us compared to our own, often overly-critical, self-view. The mirror is an apt symbol for introspection and self-evaluation, and when refracted through someone else's eyes, it seems to shed its cruel precision.

The poem divides itself into three main stanzas, which allows you to discuss different facets of imperfection—facial features, body shape, and overall self-image. The progression from physical traits in the first two stanzas to a more general, emotional conclusion lends a compelling structure to your work. It crescendos to a poignant wish, forming a powerful ending that leaves an impact on the reader.

However, the poem might benefit from a little more poetic device integration, such as similes, metaphors, or alliteration, to add a richer texture. For example, instead of simply saying "tiny wrinkles forming," you could say "tiny wrinkles etching tales of time." This adds a layer of complexity and visual element that can make the poem even more engaging.

Additionally, while the repetition serves to emphasize the contrast between how one sees oneself versus how one is seen by a loved one, it could be slightly altered in each stanza to keep the reader's attention. Perhaps you could play with synonyms or slight restructuring.

In terms of language and style, you've made good choices. The language is accessible and straightforward, yet deeply resonant, which can appeal to a wide range of readers. The poem seems to be a true reflection of the feeling it seeks to portray: perfect in its imperfection. Your work successfully creates a relatable narrative about self-acceptance and the role of love in altering self-perception.

WriterRick "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Where's the Beef?  
Review by WriterRick
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I found your writing piece, "23 Cows Are Missing," to be engaging, humorous, and indicative of the office dynamics often present in a newsroom setting or other professional environments. The dialogue between Simon and Jerry is snappy and natural, driving the narrative forward while offering valuable character insights. Simon's irritation over his missing, expensive coffee and Jerry's subtle digs at him create a believable tension that enriches the story.

However, there are some aspects that could be improved upon. The pacing felt a bit sluggish in places, particularly when the conversation veered off into unrelated topics. While these diversions added depth to the characters, they may have detracted from the central issue at hand: the missing coffee and the headline decision for the cattle story. The dialogue, while entertaining, could benefit from slight trimming to keep the focus sharp.

Additionally, while the humor was well-placed, the punchline of Donald having taken the coffee seemed somewhat predictable. Perhaps introducing a twist or unexpected resolution could have elevated the story's conclusion. Also, in terms of formatting, you might consider separating the dialogue and actions of each character more distinctly to enhance readability. This is important when you have only dialogue driving the narrative, as it is here.

I was also intrigued by the brief foray into social issues, like classism and possibly latent racism. Although these were not fully explored, they added an extra layer of complexity that could be interesting to delve into in a longer piece.

As far as the headline goes, the debated "23 Cows Are Missing" versus "23 Cows Gone" adds a meta-layer to your story, subtly pointing out the importance of word choices in shaping perceptions. However, the conclusion regarding the headline felt a bit rushed compared to the extensive dialogue leading up to it. A more decisive or reflective ending might offer a stronger conclusion to the theme you're exploring.

In summary, your writing is engaging and offers a humorous slice-of-life look at office dynamics. With some pacing adjustments and a bit more focus, it could be even more impactful.
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