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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rinsoxy
Review Requests: ON
204 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very detailed and well written. It was easy to follow and enjoyable to read. I got into the quest and was pulled along by the action. Each step was complex but satisfying. I wondered what an umbrella could possibly have to do with a mystical quest, but the ending was good and humorous. It really was a complex way of killing someone. I get the feeling the protagonist could have died at any step.
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2
Review of Space Jam  
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (4.0)
It moves quickly, a lot of showing not telling, but there were a few places I would have liked a little more information. It is a good story, but I don't know it felt like something was missing. There were quite a few details on the car but we know very little about the spaceship other than that it is a saucer. I would have liked to have seen the interaction that had led to the damaging of the ship. It feels like you jumped over some of the good parts.
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Review of Silverbolt #5  
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Good balance, teamwork and credible threat to Ethan, the conflict worked it wasn't quite enough to hold its own as a story but in the sequence you have developed so far, it fit.
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4
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good continuation of the previous stories. I look forward to the next one. You really seem to be hitting your stride with Silverbolt. I think that if you stick to the course you have set you could have a novel in no time.
5
5
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good origin story, it needs some polish though there are a couple of places with clearly missing or misused words. I think a little more detail at the end might be good. Build on the relationships a little more.
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6
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (5.0)
awesome, definitely worth waiting for, I like the dialog and Mr unibrow. Nottle could be a little stronger character. Is this the last we see of him?
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7
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (4.5)
So, Mr Nottle is now a bad man? I like that everyone thought he was an angel-alien.
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8
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am trying to donate to the lighthouse bank, for the merit badge, I haven't done this before.
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9
Review of Stantons Antiques  
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (4.0)
interesting, not as tight as some of your other stuff. It seems to lack your usual focus. Do you know where you are going with this?
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10
Review of Why I Was Born  
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Strong powerful writing, you have done a superior job of presenting your tale. One thing, formatting this with hard returns between paragraphs on this site would make for easier reading. I read several sentences several times because I couldn't keep my place without obvious paragraph breaks. I really enjoyed the read and am glad so much sorrow hasn't left you broken irreparably.
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Review of Prophesy  
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well written, perhaps would be easier to read if you put a hard return between paragraphs. There was one place where you used the word no when you probably meant know. I would run it through Grammarly, it helps with stuff like that. Overall keep writing and listen to your dreams, you never know when they could be a warning of things to come.
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Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (4.5)
Reminds me of a sign I saw every day on my way to school my freshman year, "Dead End" not three feet away from a mortuary! They changed it to "No outlet" only slightly more tasteful.
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Review of NEW SPECIAL EVENT  
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (4.5)
Uh, it is 2020, not 2010...
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Review of Competition Entry  
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
That is a very powerful, personal, and insightful essay. I feel for you having allowed others to turn you from your passions. I was fortunate to have people who encouraged me in mine. It is good to expose oneself to other people's life paths and see where you could have gone. Thank you so much for sharing yourself in this way.
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15
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (5.0)
Down the drainpipe? It is hilarious. I am glad it looks like Vierra and Matthew are going to be okay.
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Review by rinsoxy
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
My friend needs to meet with privately first- i think you are missing a "you" it is rough but I think it will shape up nicely!
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17
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good world-building. Love it and I don't usually go in for steampunk. I would be interested in reading a lot more.
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18
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (4.5)
good character development, and clear world-building present. It piques my interest. Have you posted the stories this goes to?
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Review of Time-Kissed  
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (4.5)
I love it. You managed to shape images with your words and your words into images.
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Review by rinsoxy
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Yeah,the alternate version is way better. This version doesn't even begin to explain how weird things are with him. Though at some point you could revisit this confrontation scene with view to the revisions and sequel revisions. I mean she still would want to confront him about the lies.
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21
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (4.5)
this one has a bit of what the other version was missing, keep at it and it might get somewhere.
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22
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (4.5)
it doesn't have quite as much punch as the previous story. it is missing characterization. Question, can she keep her husband's secrets?
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Review by rinsoxy
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
good narrative. It opened a window on a childhood very different than my own. I could feel the stress of waiting for the mail.
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24
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good start, I think it could turn out to be a very interesting story. Stick with it.
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25
Review of In The Rain  
Review by rinsoxy
Rated: E | (5.0)
Oooh It is a good one. The cop (haaa, ha, haa) is the most inept officer I have read about in a while. I am glad he got the girl. Definitely a good short story. Didn't see anything to complain about...
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Printed from http://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rinsoxy