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2,806 Public Reviews Given
3,474 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
True algorithm ia in response from the reviewed. Honed craft over 17 years. I see the good, with an eye to potential. Will never be/play authority of someone else’s words. That’s left to the master of the work. The artist has the vision; I just react/review, illuminate a fuller perspective to overcome challenges faced with those words. I see responses my reviews as affirming. *has references*
 
To see how I review, my feedback is public. Reviews can be set up through email. This page is limiting. *Smile* I accept review credits if I deserve rank. I accept merit badges as recognition, to be earned not bought…my opinion. I buy to support friends to maintain my shadowed equivalency, not pad. I have low vision, ADHD. it’s tripped me up. I dust off, get back in the game.
I'm good at...
Poetry, psychoanalysis. Ideas and notions on publishing process. I encourage writers with my reviews, look for strengths and give direction on how to make something better. I continue to correspond those who approach, when more to offer. I see what drives, use experience and the overarching mind, connect where each individual’s art derives. Hope to opine where it could take them with their craft. Like to believe, sometimes, before the writer knows themself.
Favorite Genres
nature, love, psychological, spiritual, inspirational, epiphany, emotional, drama, human interest, science, conspiracy, dystopian, fatalistic, speculative. Not cookie cutter fantasy realms or choose your adventure. Action/adventure. Unique, surprise.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, fan fiction, some fantasy and sci-fi, or anything Lord of the Rings/Game of Thrones-ish.
Favorite Item Types
poetry, short story, essay/opinion/blog
I will not review...
I’m happy receive an email to discuss first. I set this to receive 9k. WDC gets the rest. No page here I know of to collectively or categorically see, compare reviewers for hire. That might be a worthy tool.
Public Reviews
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576
576
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)


*Rainbowl*THIS IS A REVIEW FROM I Don’t Like My Name *Rainbowr*

> *Poseyp**Poseyp**Poseyp*

Hello, I came across this item on writing.com's auto rewards list as I was reviewing for my group. I think that the title of this item is perfect for it, it is very appropriate. the item description of this piece is very helpful to the reader.
I do believe that this is the first time that I have had to opportunity to review and read your stuff. good going.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of literature with me I appreciate your poem and the hard work you put into writing this item. You keep writing and I'll keep reading, God Bless You.

But, I won't leave it there. Reviews should show an understanding of subject, so here goes:

The short two line stanzas effectively flow with the descriptive, showy nature of the dream catcher...the possibilities to give sleeping children security. I'm not versed in what they suggestively do, but can use this poem as a guide of sorts.

I would spell out 100 to start poem...One hundred. The last two lines alone rhymed. Perhaps, with a little work, all or none should rhyme. Since you're using expressions, you could explore further with a word 'decorate' that paled with other descriptive words.

I liked the notion and promise of this poem.

B

To Review Readers and Would-Be Reviewers:
I know reviewing is hard for some people. I think those that are looked upon to set an example for the standard for reviewing here shouldn't use cookie-cutter expressions. Take the time to really read and react. That's why we do longer more insiightful reviews now. It's more meaningful to members. Especially for newbies who need the best of us. I gave you an example of what not to do and what you could do with a review, if you don't want to blow more than 750 characters from your head,
I know you reviewer creditors out there might want to consider who's honestly giving feedback before tossing cryptocurrency around. I see the disparity between honest reviewers and those who crank out fluff. I assume auctions/fundraisers draw in gps to in part put out to undervalued reviewers.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
577
577
Review of Window  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
For the most part I was going to say that this reads less like poetry and more like a retelling of events, but the ending recapping the experience was profoundly poetic.

Poetry reads better if we show instead of tell. There are social cues we can be given to know this is a goodbye without telling. The summation would then hit like a ton of bricks, show that the voice in this poem holds it all inside until the end.

In these sad times, it's odd what we remember, sounds, smells, surroundings and activities, what we wore. The taste of that last kiss. Put us in the moment, let our experiences shape the vision. If you do it right, your poem could seem like a million poems through each reader's response and interpretation.

Brian


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
578
578
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I was interested to see how you constructed multiple haikus here. I could not find any structural issues with the linked haikus. The 5-7-5 syllable count was correct. There was something in the language that felt awkward, as if transcribed from another language.

First line... I can see trees to calm... wouldn't it be less passive to describe as I see calming trees? And then, Wearing on colorful charms... maybe remove 'on' and replace with 'their' to personify? You end with posing a pure form... which also was awkward. I liked the expression, just not the sentence structures.

I could speak to the second stanza where bend would be a better verb use than bending, giving you another syllable to describe. Your title line for this haiku points out the inspiration for this without the suggested descriptions. If you could show their movements as dancing, meditating, praying, you need to use that...those words.

Haikus should summarize on last line descriptive evidence in first two lines, so...
trees pray, calmly dance
Wearing their colorful charms
Bend to meditate

Something along those lines for first haiku. I borrowed some from second stanza. But work in personification to give visuals more meaning. Punctuate action through verbs and summarize what's happening. Just my suggestions.

Brian


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579
579
Review of Jewels  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a sweet story that I realized after reading is true and not fiction. I imagined myself in a similar story, inspired to garden because of my parents. My mind was telling me it would be fantasy to think kids would grow up and show appreciation like that as adults. It's a blessed event (story inspiring) for your daughter to appreciate and gets what you provided. No doubt, having children of her own helps shape perspective of your shared past. Now the garden is a labor of love.

Notes on what could be improved is -- just a little less telling and more showing. Instead of saying it's spring (partly implied by bulb planting), you could describe scents, weather, what you wore and other hints a reader can collect to deduce time, place and more. You could put us in scene, using the sensory cues and more. Eventually, you mention the kids playing because of spring.

It's easy for us to get it all out on paper like this, the neat of a story. The details are important that we don't want to lose...especially dialogue. To improve storytelling, to tempt people to read, tease a little with details. It forces us to read on and discover what's happening. I imagine non-fiction doesn't have as many rules about this, because you're not likely to embellish.

Garden is a perfect place to paint a scene with color, smell, sounds, touch, even taste. You could embellish if you wanted to make a fictional story...prick a thumb, etc. Now I'm just spitballing. Nice share and congrats on a wonderful event to relate.

Brian



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
580
580
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I've read your poem with great interest and want to give my honest reaction to the effort.

While I have spent my life putting faith in god, I'd never image a coming up with a poem like this. Reminds of old songs like 'Standing On The Promises,' one of my mom's old favorites. It is driven by a solid meter and rhyme. It troubles with punctuation and lacks a unique voice. But, for what it is written for, to share faith, it functions.

The ending confuses a bit, reminds that poets can struggle to wrap up. A stronger finish by intoning the message with key words always helps me through that.

Great share!

Brian


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581
581
Review of Rivendell  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)


*Rainbowl*THIS IS A REVIEW FROM I Don’t Like My Name *Rainbowr*

> *Poseyp**Poseyp**Poseyp*

Hello, I came across this item on writing.com's auto rewards list as I was reviewing for my group. I think that the title of this item is perfect for it, it is very appropriate. the item description of this piece is very helpful to the reader.
I do believe that this is the first time that I have had to opportunity to review and read your stuff. good going.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece of literature with me I appreciate your poem and the hard work you put into writing this item. You keep writing and I'll keep reading, God Bless You.

I know this is going to look like I didn't really read your item, but I would not affiliate this to any reviewing group. You deserve better than that. But, since I haven't reviewed you before (I assume), enjoy the gift points generated by WDC for first time reviews.

I did read your poem. I was just making a point about others who as stewards of this site should not cut and paste stuff like that.

I enjoyed some of this, especially a narrative element that feels inspired by its repeated chant. One rhyme was especially forced, no doubt could improve over 'grope.' The unique places help, and I would implore more, like descriptions of battles, sites, victories and losses. Don't gloss over. Take us on that ride, journey. And more about the quest to Saurons evil home. I want description of blades, armor, steed, what have you. Maybe a little bit of plan. Intrigue, make the reader yearn to quest, too...Redemption, reason why.

I can tell you got into this as you furthered the text. It could reinspire a new introduction with gusto and lots of exclamations! Bravo!

B


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!.
582
582
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)

{Dear Mary Ann MCPhedran ,

I see so many possibilities with this sweet little poem that I've been perusing with delight, since discovering the other night. It plays with imagery and feeling, the type of poem you linger over, peruse for a sensory fix, if wanted. It plays with sound, maybe unintentionally. Found it raw like an unweeded garden full of potential.

A tighter edit would help this bloom. But, I'm auditorally stumbling over the unintended or unfocused meter? First couplet begs for just a little attention. Nine syllables first line and seven in the second. I mentally tried to flip lines. Won't work, thinking just add/remove syllables? With a hyphen to 'Pita Pita,' I thought:

I spotted a little bit of passive voice and thought you could be more direct by removing 'been' from one line...but then the line is too short.
And thought last couplet could use a little love...


But after rain there's a rainbow's in sight (edit rainbow's to rainbow) (maybe, remove there's and keep rainbow's)
Lighting up the garden bright


This poem is so short and sweet and was a pleasure to consume.

Brian

Non-Animated Angel Army Signature


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583
583
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.5)

I really expected to read something totally different the way this started out. I thought it was about culture and being preyed on by with human insecurities. It turned to politics. Though, I can make the connection. We are distracted by these things being put at the forefront so we won't get involved and talk of real issues. Government-backed distractions? Same thing happens in America. We're obsessed with sports and entertainment, but also products that define our status. Basically make us insecure.

I can't speak to the political trappings in your country and how the USA interferes, though I can imagine.

Unusual format for an essay. I think it could be tightened up, instead of a sprawling read with double-spaced lists. Though, it's an old piece. Might be moot now, but some likely still applies.

We write, we grow,

Brian


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584
584
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Well done, a bit uneven in story, but not categorized correctly as poetry. This could use a little more set up to explain what brought about this conversation that reads like an excerpt from something longer.
The explanation of how Jesus died for our sins by examples of seven ways the blood cleanses follows well. I needed more about how this conversation came about and maybe it will make more sense of the ensuing dialogue.
I think you have something here that could be developed into a very useful parable.

Brian


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585
585
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Two interesting takes on waiting for Christmas and it's prospects. Though, not so much poem-like, but a story of two children: one privileged and one poor. One person gets what they wish for and the other is rewarded with love.

Christmas sentimentality aside, many children are affected by poverty or parents who just don't provide. It's a nice spin on the season. It's greeting card material for sure.

Keep writing


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586
586
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

I love the rhythm of that title line in this piece. The words and images are fluid as the moments occur as this unknowable escape begins.

This put me in the story visualizing the events. The construction of the lines help flow of read. You don't struggle with words, they come naturally and understandably. I don't even stop to ask what's going on. These events rely on trust and instinct in these moments, unprepared for what wasn't supposed to happen.

You know, this serves well to start a story where it can recount events to explain: why in this situation, who was killed and why, the relationship, the need to do it, the plan that didn't go as planned (with all the notions of how it would play out) and take it forward from the fall in the river.

For me, this was dreamlike. It was stream of consciousness writing. It's a writer playing out fantasy to see where it goes. In effect, this could be the imprisoned hashing out their plan before events unfold, realizing the mistakes that could happen.

If nothing else, you've captured this reader's imagination with your word play.

Brian

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️


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587
587
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 18+ | (2.5)
Huh? I got to the end of your rejoinder piece on an essay I was not privileged to read about homosexuality. You made some good arguments until you added this at the end of your dissertation (it destroys your whole thesis):

"I agree with him homosexuals should be cured, rehabilitated, counseled and helped."

Huh? Cured? I had seen a few flaws in your approach to showing that homosexuality was tolerated in Africa throughout history, refuting the person you cited. If that's true, good. But, you showed some examples of ignorance throughout its culture, for example, killing twins and stoning adulterers.

It doesn't give me much confidence that homosexuality wasn't impugned, just your opinion with little proof of tolerance.

I thought we were finally beyond thinking gays and lesbians need reform or help. Your article absolutely lacks credence. I will say there were interesting anecdotes and points taken that educated me about the culture and customs within Africa.

On homosexuality stand: I'll tolerate your ignorance and maybe someone with the passion to persuade will cure you one day.

*ThumbsDown*


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588
588
Review of Late September  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A rhyming poem that contemplates if his intentions were true. It's very simple and direct and leads to some unanswered pondering. But what about those questions not asked?

Where was he going for a year and did something detain him? What was he returning to? Promise of something more than casual when it's opined he might have forgot? Bit of fun leaves us wondering.

It's unknowable but it seems like the sailor who keeps a girl in every port. Does the poet separate from the voice in the poem to depict someone easily flirted with and used? Unknowable. But, interesting to ponder.

Brian


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589
589
Review of The sorrow  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This short fiction describing the emotion of loss and death left me feeling something in particular -- cold. There were many effective descriptions of loss and longing while giving visual representations. Icicles on face might be a stretch. Though, I've had tears freeze on my eyelashes -- more like frost.

Did not get a sense anything more than mourning the loss of a loved one an inability to move on. Would have liked more about the character and connection to grave. No words or gifts offered, just promise of return to this remorse.

It's a short piece, hard to pull off. But, it definitely made me feel something.



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590
590
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A brave offering in this structured free verse poem that must have been cathartic to write while sad for an audience to read and perceive long after the author's passing. The poem is direct and to the point, pulls no punches. I'm sure it is relatable to others who battle with cancer.
The 'I envy you' lines don't guilt but inform in a way that helps a reader's POV. It took great courage to write and share that struggle, prophesizing ultimate release and future joy of comfort from that sweet release.

R.I.P.


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591
591
Review of The Seventh Day  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Here we have a story of a lonely guy who does not like his living conditions. It's very descriptive and believable, though the twist at the end did not seem what I would have expected. It is a great depiction of a man marooned, no water, peeling from relentless sun. He has to be in a cave and worry about bugs and scorpions.
There's a bit of wonderment if he'll cross paths with a woman. Don't know if this was intended as short piece with surprise ending, or if more were in the works. With a bit of editing, could have been a tidy, little story. Just needed a personal anecdote, or more about him to relate to his character, though 'scurried' said a lot.



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592
592
Review of Skiing  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found the scene with the woman falling (ungracefully) visually hysterical as I read. There is a gift to displaying a scene like this as a writer while constrained by the poem's rhyme scheme.

The short tight lines work, but would have preferred it wasn't double-spaced for a better flowing read. This really reminded me of growing up. It put me in that winter scene where I could draw on nostalgic memories to help envision.

Typical Lynda, a pleasure!


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593
593
Review of Cookies Amok  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.5)

It's inspired, dark humor that gets a special something from a quirky rhyme scheme meant to be read with some verve.
The poem had a great start/set up with first stanza. I liked direction it was going with second verse, but dead end?
It's difficult when great inspiration strikes and you're rolling right along when everything stops. I think a reader would implore more. I know this is an old item and muse long since left this item. It's sort of got a good middle reader feel if it wanted to go in that direction. It could be sprinkled with adult insights if it went further.
Just saying I see potential in this.

Thanks for sharing,

Brian

*Peace*


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594
594
Review of Game Models  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I must say I liked the innovation and the lay out of what you come up with. Each part is supported with argument for implementing the strategies of the reality game. It was intriguing to read as this notion slowly seemed to come to fruition...like setting up a story. Unfortunate it was a quick conclusion.

I get caught in a blur of reality and fiction, as this is labeled "how to/self help." The ending seemed like you were prompting people to begin a game. I wasn't sure if this reality game came into existence, if it actually had a name. It seemed very broad in scope and somewhat unusual type of Sims game, giving me the idea this is fiction.

I couldn't decide if it was being described as virtual reality or tools for real life. This piece seemed impersonal without names of class, college or professor...real or fiction. Wasn't sure what the aim of this piece was or if this is a mock up for something more...longer.

Those are my general impressions. Best of luck,

Brian


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595
595
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a worthwhile subject for a poem and discourse. I found the word choices sending me to dictionaries to parse the stanzas and hope for some insight into the poet's intent. I find some of what you're saying here is about the impeachment of the president by democrats to be tied to the upcoming bid for re-election. It's about the unfolding drama and building tension between the two parties.

Depictions of beseech and anemic left me perplexed thought I got the gist. Agree to the checks and balances, but it seems our government is more about politics than solving real issues. That's just me.

Thanks for sharing this.


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596
596
Review of Tanka (13)  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (3.0)
As tankas go, I don't believe this was structured correctly. The syllable counts didn't sync up (5,7,5,7,7). You had (5,5,5,8,5). The concept was almost too generic, lacking descriptive elements that could trigger connections to the described notion of this type of meditation.

Using the senses, what you feel, see makes a good start. I imagine color, memory and more can produce serenity and feelings of being on a higher plain of consciousness. Perhaps, meditate on this tanka some more, because the process would be like you describe. Finding more of yourself in writing is a similar process. Meditation and writing each take practice.

I imagine this is more of a first effort. It's great that you are trying new things. It's good for the brain to give it challenges, improves neural pathways. Scientific and spiritual!

B


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597
597
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Okay, I'll take a stab at this:

Worst pickup lines ever. I can't imagine anyone sticking around after the first insult. It is very offensive to women and not PC for the times, written some time ago I see...Amy W(h)inehouse reference would def. be in poor taste now.

I get that this character gets his just desserts in the end, but this is set up like a stand up monologue, so we can see a loser in action. The ending surprises me, since I thought he was only insulting, not going for an actual pickup. Lacks a bit of common.

Poorly structured, lacks story, dialogue quotes, any response in description or quotes other thank describing reactions with more insults or pleading to get your keys back. I think you think this is funny, but seriously demeaning. We don't call women in the bar ugly, or whores. Andrew Dice Clay would likely not touch this...now or then.

B


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598
598
Review of The Promise  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: E | (4.0)


Hello, I'm a writer and reviewer of poetry here at Writing.Com for 13 years, nearly consistently. What brings me back to view other poet's writing is a desire to desconstruct and reconstruct poetry like taking apart and putting back together a car. I do it blindfolded, not as gimmick, but because I am legally blind. I hope to improve to overcome my vision loss, hopefully sharing with others in my process. Let's begin:

I had a feeling of foreboding in that first stanza that this would be about a father-son relationship, based on title and mention of 'promise left to keep'. It reminded me of a child's prayer before bedtime.

While I enjoyed the rhyme and meter of poem, it was a bit difficult to grasp the characters, interactions and settings. If I were to guess, there are three men referenced in this poem. Though, I'm not certain why. It would seem one is homeless and the relationship is like strangers meeting. If it's dad, then he left when you were young, found him, tried to convince him come home, he gave you the slip, you found him a year later and asked him come home again.

I think this is one of those poems we write for ourselves, fall in love with the charm, melancholy, or whatever and try to create a gem from a very moving subject. It's hard to be objective about something personal shared like this. It still has a sweetness and sentimentality we can appreciate. It just lacks clarity.

I think the poem started off strong, must have been an inspirational pen. Seems it got murky and more difficult down the line. The meter started to suffer, affecting rhyme flow. It's the kind of poem I might like to blog like tucking in a drawer, then look at later to see if it makes sense -- and if I can fix it. Only you know from your subject matter and comments received what could make it better for a reader to appreciate. You might increase your own appreciation with a rethink/rewrite. And if it doesn't get better, you have the original inspiration that you are proud to share. And, that's good enough.

Thank you for allowing writers like me to consume and comment,

Brian


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599
599
Review of Golfetery  
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
While this seemed an inspired comedic notion, it's about playing golf where the dead are buried. Wouldn't it be more like putt putt golf with all those tombstones in the way? Makes me think of a giant pinball game. You'd easily lose your ball after all those ricochets.

Truth in humor is what makes it funny. We like the conceivable. We like irony. Not enough of it to make these jokes really sing. Also, there is lots of land for golf. Look at all the farmers going out of business. Maybe, that's because where you live, the urban sprawl ate up everything.

Maybe, pick up a different sport.

I thought it was a good try,

B


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600
600
In affiliation with Circumpolar Black Light Reviewer  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I thought we knew everything there was to know about Karen Collins from the introduction in story by the omniscient narration. Didn't see that ending coming. I thought this pastor was a sex addict, not a one woman guy. He just got hooked and it turns out she loves em and leaves em. Thrill gone.

The narration seemed a bit stiff but there was good description that made the scenes, scenario, characters believable. I'll leave the sexual deviance to the experts. And thanks for not going for overly sexed good looking types, but people a little older, heavier, less attractive. We can still find them compelling without being eye candy.

B


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