Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/samuelorona/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I have experience writing flash fiction of a thousand words or less, and one of my flash fiction stories was published in a British science fiction magazine. I've never tried to write a flash fiction story that was 300 words or less, but I did try writing a couple of stories that were 55 words before. Your advice seems very well thought out, I know it can be difficult writing stories with fewer words.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors, but as a suggestion, maybe you could describe what the prizes were that you won when you took first place the times that you won; that might be incentive for people who have never tried to write a flash fiction story to try it for the first time.
What I liked: I liked how you spoke from experience, you really seem to know what you're talking about.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This seemed like a simple story, more like an innocent sequence of events, until the ending grabbed me and shook me up. You did a really good job with this, I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't catch any technical errors of any kind, fantastic job!
What I liked: I really liked the surprise ending, you really caught me by surprise! Up until that point I thought it was an innocent visit with a grandfather and grandson. You're a regular O. Henry! Out of the four stories I've read so far today, yours was the best.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a nice poem, I find it interesting that you wrote a poem about a muse, when it is poets who find the need of a muse. This was very well done!
Errors/Suggestions: This word: "Callipean" I believe is mispelled, it should be: "Calliopean" with an "o" added
What I liked: I like how you set the poem in bold lettering to distinguish it.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. It is unique how you view moments in time and how they become memories, your experience with the birds you described was interesting.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't find any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I like the fact that you put a date on your work, some poets choose to do this and I think it gives character to a piece, to let us know what state of mind the author was in at that point in time, and it gives the reader a chance to reflect on what he or she was doing at that time, also.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was an interesting concept, but I wasn't exactly clear what the "sin" was, and who the protagonist was biting.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors, but as a suggestion, you might want to add some more information about what this poem is about, the protagonist might have been a vampire or a human serial killer, but I wasn't clear on this. You could choose to leave it as is, and leave the interpretation up to the reader and that would be fine, but as a reader I would prefer more information.
What I liked: I like the description of the coloration of the blood, from rust to candy apple red, that was very visual.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was an interesting take on sports during youth, I played soccer when I was in elementary school, so I can relate to this a little bit.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I enjoyed the dedication of the sports players in your poem, you showed a lot of insight into that world that could even make people who can't relate to it understand the world you were describing.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was an interesting poem, seemingly about damnation. I like the little details about the protagonist's life that you threw in, this was a good poem.
Errors/Suggestions: You misspelled "Circle" in the title.
What I liked: I like the chorus about going around that comes after every verse, that made this seem like a song.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I like short stories like this, and I like stories with a theme of some type, and the generosity of the young boy was really inspiring.
Errors/Suggestions: I caught this mistake: He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to not a present on Christmas morning. You need the word "get" between the words "not" and "a," glad I caught this for you.
What I liked: I liked the theme of this story, it's nice to know there are good kids in this world.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. You did a good job of describing the painting, I think I'm familiar with the painting, it is very well-known.
Errors/Suggestions: I saw no technical errors, but as a suggestion maybe you should have that painting in your portfolio and display it within this item, so we don't have to click on a link. I was worried that I would lose the page of your item if I clicked on it and tried to come back.
What I liked: I like the amount of depth you went into in describing this painting, most people would've written a short poem but yours went into a lot of detail.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was an enjoyable little poem about life. You were able to describe the good and bad of life without putting a negative spin on things.
Errors/Suggestions: I found no technical errors of any kind, but as a suggestion, it might be nice to have some information at the bottom of the page explaining to the readers who Harry Chapin and Thoreau are. I've heard of Thoreau, though I'm not familiar with his work, and I've never heard of Harry Chapin.
What I liked: I like how you described the give and take and ebb and flow of life.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a cute little limerick, I enjoyed it. To me this seemed like it was based on a real person, because everything seemed so realistic.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I like how every line made sense within the context of the story being told.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I love poems like this about a real person, you really showed your love for your daughter here, it was unmistakable.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, good job!
What I liked: I liked the sincerity of this poem, your love was real!
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a nice poem that rhymed well without seeming forced. The subject of the poem seemed interesting, I could visualize what you were writing about. This seemed like a professional level poem that could appear in a magazine.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I liked the bold green font you used. I also like the cadence of this poem, it flowed nicely.
Plot and Content: I found this item on the shameless plug page. I can relate to this, because I am in love with a woman I haven't seen in a long time, and I only have memories and dreams of her. I think a good portion of adult single people can relate to this, we all have people that we dream about, if not literally then figuratively.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I like how good things are in the dreams, you did a good job of describing it and making it tantalizing.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a sad poem, but I had trouble figuring out who the friend was; at first I thought it might be a dog that died, but I wasn't sure. Still a good poem none the less. (If you could, can you please respond and let me know who the friend was?)
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't encounter any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I like how the poem starts off happy, and it is bittersweet when the friend is no longer around. Good job!
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I'm assuming that this poem is about Alice returning to Wonderland when she was a much older woman; that is an interesting twist. I've heard of her returning when she was still a kid, but this is my first encounter with an author who has her going back when she is an older woman.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I liked the Alice returning as an old woman concept, and I liked what you said about dreams, and life being a dream.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I enjoy poems with a positive message like this, and I agree with the theme of this poem.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I liked how you opened a door for those who might be struggling in life, and offered them hope with your words.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool, this was an interesting supernatural tale, I like stories like this. You chose an interesting time in history to place this story, when President Nixon was resigning. I lived through that time period, but I was too young to remember it.
Errors/Suggestions: I found this error: They are as pure as the firery Finger of God!" I think "firery" is misspelled. I found another error: tugged the detectives pants off, I think there should be an apostrophe before the "s" in "detectives" so it is spelled: "detective's" so it is possessive. I found another mistake: many colorful tatoos The word "tatoos is supposed to be spelled "tattoos," you left out a "t."
What I liked: I like the supernatural element of this story, you did a good job of keeping the reader interested.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. I like the theme of this sonnet, that marriage is sacred and is preferable to having a live-in relationship. If I had a choice between the two, I would choose marriage.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't find any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I like the theme of the value of marriage over a live-in relationship. It's nice to see someone take a stand for what is right!
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool, this was a sad poem with kind of a happy ending, because the husband who lost his wife will get to see her again when he dies.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I liked how they spent their remaining time together before the wife dies, walking along the shore. It sounds like they had a high quality life despite their advanced age, that is a good example for a lot of older couples.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool. This was a sad poem about a woman people didn't try to get to know, I wish all the lonely people in the world could be happy and have friends.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.
What I liked: I liked the fact that you took the time to write about a person like this, too often people like this are forgotten.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool, this was a good article with a solid, well thought out theme. Comparing people to animals was creative, and I never realized that in some ways animals are smarter than us humans.
Errors/Suggestions: In the section about pigs, you wrote: we're the stupid one. I think "one" should be "ones" to be considered gramatically correct.
What I liked: I liked the southern/country personality or "voice" of the narrator, I could hear the voice in my mind of the person telling this story, and it really fit in with the subject being discussed.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review feature, while I don't agree with your point of view, I found your view on life interesting. I believe fairy tale endings are possible, but I can understand if some people don't choose to view life that way, and choose a more realistic approach to their views on life.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind. Good job!
What I liked: I liked seeing a different view on life than my own, thank you for letting me see life from your perspective.
Plot and Content: I found this item with the random review tool, you did a good job of describing the night time sky. It reminds me that I haven't taken a good look at the night sky in a while, and I need to do that some time.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, good job!
What I liked: I liked the metaphors you used, comparing the night sky to diamonds and jewels. Metaphors like these can risk being overplayed, but I think for such a short poem you don't have to worry about it as much, it didn't seem cliche to me.
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