What an entrancing poem! Words chosen well and your poetry presents a realistic picture. Tragic, but poetry is sometimes dark rather than always light and airy. Yoy painted a perfect picture of a tragic situation, the feelings experienced, and a decription of one person's solution to that situation. Being in a family that has experienced demise of an aunt and child at the hands of an uncle who committed suicide then as well your poem hit home in a real way. Good writing.
Haven't we all felt this way at one time or another? You captured the atmosphere and feelings of your character in this poem really well. Your poem was easy to read, not too long nor too short and told a complete story. I am not qualified to rate meter but I know what I enjoy reading and your poem was excellent.
This was an interesting way to use random words. I had an English/Literature teacher in high school that used this method of making that subject fun for his students. I did the same with my children when they were in school, but have not thought about it in a very long time. Thanks for a fun revisit of the past and a good laugh as well.
You have some misspelled words that can easily be corrected with spell check or a good dictionary. The story is well written capturing the emotions of someone who believes they have been given a death sentence. I can well relate to this as I have been in that seat myself. It is very accurate. Well Done!
You begin with a clear concise description of two individuals as they evolve from childhood friends into the scary world of teenagers. Your description of each stage of their growth is amazingly accurate allowing the reader to relate to the characters. You do a very good job of building the suspense as well. Good job.
Okay, Okay, I'm hooked. I've got to know what happens next. You have a very good level of suspense in your story. I have looked for errors or weakness in your writing, but have not found any. I am enjoying reading this book and hope you have other works I can enjoy also.
I thought this was well written. I particularly like the way it is spaced. It gives the feeling the person in the story has of being empty in physical and emotional self, yet a yearning from deep within the soul that there is still a sliver, a glimmer of hope that there is someone somewhere that can and will care.
Writing.com is the best thing I have done for myself in a number of years. I love to write and to read, yet due to circumstances beyond my control found it hard to do either the past few years.
My children encouraged me to go back to those passions for them as well as for myself. I had a hard time getting started again and my talents are meager at best. Still I love it and in searching the web came across WDC and have formed some wonderful friendships. I have found inspiration and assistance that is honest yet kind.
I write every day now even if just a little. The peace I have within from doing so is better than medication and doctors. I have found I enjoy reviewing also. It makes me feel as if I am also giving back a part of what has been given to me.
I will always be a member and continue to explore the website and become more proficient in using it's tools. I love the newsletters. They help me get intouch with the skills necessary to writing the ideas I have.
Great opportunity to gain recognition for writing. I appreciate being able to offer two entries thanks to some generous and inspirational people at WDC. I am relatively new to the website and have been anxious about sharing my writings but find I am gaining more and more confidence due to the support offered.
Very good. I like the soldiers spin on this old favorite. It is especially interesting to me since I have had so many family members in the military in years past serving during World War II, Korean War, Vietnam War, and cousins and a son serving in Iraq.
i will be sharing this one with many family members.
You reflect the sentiments of every parent. Our children are always our children no matter their age. I enjoyed your poem very much and hope to read more of your work. I will visit your portfolio and treat myself. I am new to WDC so look to other authors for help and inspiration. Good work.
How well I know these feelings and emotions. Many a tear has been shed over others making fun of my son who has a severe case of Attention Deficit Disorder with Dyslexia. We struggled through many pilot programs before it even had a name. He is grown and struggles to keep a steady job yet has talents above all others when it comes to refuelling aircraft. He served in Iraq and broke all records by refuelling more aircraft than had ever been done in combat. Indeed we all have our own set of talents.
This item could have been written about a little red-haired girl (me) and her granddaddy in about the same time frame. I still have my first 410 and granddaddy's old coat. I still have some of his spinning reels and an old bait or two that are worth much more than gold. You gave me a wonderful trip down memory lane.
Your writing reflects where I have been and it is very accurate in the way one can rebuild hope. It can give inspiration to those struggling to find their way out of a dark place in life. It also reminds me of someone going through the phases of alzheimers disease as my father is at present. It was well written.
This is a good opening to the story. It gives enough background to spark reader's interest and leaves enought unsaid for writers to carry it in several different directions. It is short but many good works of writing are brief rather than long and drawn out. Thanks for a good start.
I love this interactive activity. It allows me to really think about where to go next in my Bible, then to study as I do. Thank you for a different way to worship and study. This was an ingenious idea and a wonderful way to share the gospel of our Lord with other believers and hopefully will lead others to believe.
This was an enticing and entertaining piece of poetry. I was raised on a dairy farm and automatically go to anything describing cows, barns, frarms...you get the picture. I learned early on you have to shovel more s*** than anything to have a successful dairy.
I enjoyed this poem. It is well written and heartfelt. It would be a good poem for loved ones to add to a Christmas card or gift to express the love they feel for that person. It reflects emotions everyone can relate to and share during Chrismas time.
Excellent writing. Your descriptions allows the reader to get a clear visual picture of the events taking place in the story. I would be interested to know if you stopped here with the story or if you continued on with more chapters to the storyline. If so I would like to read on....
Wonderful decription of the Phoenix in words. Anyone can visualize clearly this being in fire and splendor. The eternalness of it arising from the ashes again is described very well. I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. Good work.
I cannot thank you enough for the guidelines offered for reviewing and the quiz is a wonderful idea to keep anyone interested in doing reviews "on their toes" and correct in reviewing methods. i find I am enjoying WDC more and more. I really enjoy reviewing thanks to you more and more.
i like this poem. It captures unrequieted love quite well. Tomorrow is misspelled and needs to be corrected and I think it reads better to change "Too ashamed to come back and to face" to Too ashamed to come back and face. I am not sure the reference to her being an angel is correct in that it makes her seem to be other than human but I'm not sure what I would change the verbage and description to...perhaps broken soul....
I really enjoyed the poem and will keep it as a favorite.
This is really good writing. It captures the emotions of the writer and reflects a feeling many male and female readers can relate to. I find it reflects exactly where I am in life at the moment. It is a wonderful tool not just for writing but as an example that we are not alone in circumstances such as this. Somehow it helps to know you are not the only person experiencing this.
aralls, you have captured the essence of a young girl struggling to be her own person fearing she would have to give up more than she wants to if she accepts Christ's sacrifice of salvation and finding she is nothing without that same saving grace. I found your poem to be very good and easy to relate to. Sandy Skipper
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