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201
In affiliation with Native First Peoples Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)


IMPRESSIONS*Star*: Good little poem concerning the '50's and the beatnik. Very descriptive and suscinct. I think it was good as a tell-it poem, instead of a metaphor poem. Something like a statement. Those who don't know about '50's beatniks would be informed by this piece.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: I liked your knowledge of things here. "bagel shops", hmmm, interesting. I'm going to browse the three eras you have to see how this stands up to the others. Excellent jaunt through the times.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR: In the 10th line, make "definately", "definitely". Other words were spelled correctly.

I am from First Peoples. Glad to read some of your portfolio.


Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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Review of Love, Mom  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Unratable.)



FIRST IMPRESSIONS: The thought that I kept in my mind when I read this piece was concentrate on "typos". Where I found one was the last line. where I found a missing word. The piece was done well enough with the last remains of Laura being taken care of. As a writer's cramp, the piece stands with good possibilities for a good story. Cryptically does it stand up? I'd have to think about it. Where does one deliniate what you can get out of a piece and what is supposed to be kept a secret for the author's pleasure?

CRITICAL: A descriptive journey from a cemetary to a will reading is a fast jump. Should it have been? I'm just staying with the thought of a more complete story if it were not a Writer's Cramp. Jake as a symbol? Perhaps?

SPELING AND GRAMMAR: It didn't appear to make mistakes.


I enjoyed criticiquing with A.C.E. in mind.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)


FIRST IMPRESSIONS*Star*: What a sweet, comic poem! Your graphics are alive! I like the circus. And when I go, I want to see an elephant!


PRAISE AND APPLAUSE*Star*: Well-placed colorful lines. I felt that this kind of poem needed to rhyme to be successful and it did. Perhaps, a youngster looking up at the elephant? And then the suspension of disbelief at the end. Cryptic, really. Funny.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR*Star*: Saw no mistakes.

Enjoyed this feature in the newest Poetry Newsletter.


Feather Duster
Twilight Rain


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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)



FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Wonderful Part2 Short Story. You have God-given talent and it shows in your true inspiration and the way your stories unfold. I just love your stories. Enchanting, easy to read, well-informing, fairy tales of the heart. I think you have love on your lips. And it is captivating.


CRITICAL: No mistakes. Good.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: Keep writing more, they are a real find for WDC members! You have a knack for relaying royalty well. And your details about them are almost flawless.


Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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Review of Tanya  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)


FIRST IMPRESSIONS: An absolutely viable piece. Such marvelous description! Well-formed stability in the measure of words. Being that you chose a complete description,and that was your preference, I feel that you deserve a high mark.

CRITICAL: You may want to begin a vampire story with more gore. But this was not as such. Vampire stories are not my forte, but I recently wrote one and still did not get blood-and-gore into it enough. I attempted a different take on one too. I liked your surreal message of love between the two however it may be that the word is" vampire" and it has to be viable.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: I really think you know what you are doing. You begin and end with finesse. And the romantic element of pieces is always a good quest and very praiseworthy.

Enjoyed this. Easy to read.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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206
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)


I am reviewing:
 The Healthcare Debat-cle  (ASR)
Op-ed on healthcare debate, published 10/8/09 in regional newspaper. All views welcome!
#1601737 by Morganisms



IMPRESSIONS: Excellently vibrant as different points were proposed in this. Very on-target. Back-on-track statements. A very candid last paragraph that is something I too believe in. You did not smear a political attitude on us, you were down-to-earth and methodical and it came across as a piece of good quality writing.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: I liked your mentioning the current President Obama in it. The venture into healthcare was well-taken as your debating point. More to this than meets the eye. Informational. Detailed.

This point: Brilliant sixth paragraph.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR: No mistakes I could see. Good quality in your style. It hums along with effort. I realy liked your piece.

THANKS FOR PLUGGING IT>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


Feather Duster


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Review of It Lies Within  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



IMPRESSIONS*Star**Leaf1*: At first glance there is more description than dialogue, and then half-way down the page it swtiches and the description is replaced by main-line dialogue. So there must have been a reason. No matter. What ever the anesthetic was behind the words, it was collectively a heavenly cloud that hovered above Mort and Sarah. I was very impressed with the detailed knowledge of the author, nothing easy about this piece other than it speaks well and flows well and has understandable dialogue. It placed wisdom at places, I liked that.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE*Star**Leaf2*: I felt an excellent mentalist attitude this piece. Things out of the ordinary and hard-to-explain. All in all, with the innuendos considered in the piece, I liked mostly the thought of a a near-death statement seconded by what it was was a death or afterlife experience that was trying to surface? Things surfaced in a subconscious way after I thought about it. I even acknowledged the terms without feeling offended, when it was stronger and might be complaining it was all the more brilliant in its meaning. To make a long story short, it has many directions. Again I must rely on part-intuition that isn't discussed with the author {/i}and{/i reader.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR*Star**star3*: You used a free grammar form with this piece when you use a line like:

BUT MORT AND SARAH [/i}KNEW.{/i}

This is very acceptable in fact I have read the better hip books with a contemp style that do this.

No spelling mistakes.


Thanks for giving me the chance to review you.


Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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Review of Lost Opportunity  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)


IMPRESSIONS: Good managed poem for a spiritual one. Good young lines that find a solution by the end of the poem. It starts as mysterious with the line "before my birth" which makes you read into the poem and its meaning. Good as a field of morality that is questioned perhaps with words of family unity and decisions under God. A daily-like prayer poem, it values life I think.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: A "knowing" poem, it is intelligent, spiritually careful with its lines, valuable with its lines. It sounded like time was spent on it. It was crisp when thought about it in the aloud sense and as a utopian type position, gives a solution that the last stanza asks for. What kind of spiritual being returns and finds this family? I think I understand it. It has a surreal cloud above this poem. Much is said without saying. Something is hiding behind the words.

I thought the crux of a theme pointed to the lines:



But it wasn't long before 'twas clear
We were not struggling year by year.

and then:



"Do not waste your family years.
Struggle with each other every day!
Help each other find your way!"

Great lines.


SPELLING AND GRAMMAR: Mistake as a typo only. lwe'd to we'd in 8th stanza, 3rd line.


A very positive experience.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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Review of Do You Still ?  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Unratable.)


IMPRESSIONS: Candid and beautiful, I liked the theme here. Almost like a song, is the way this poem read. I liked your questions and the turn of phrase at the end that "you" were the one that was going to light a candle, doing something about the situation, A kind of moral poem it fits well as a feature in the last Spiritual Newsletter.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: Knowing that you shared "good times" with the person in question in the poem, it is a love poem that extends itself to the spirit and that is always the most admirable. Spiritual poems without question can last an eternity as an eternal question. I like those poems that address the eternal question of being one with perhaps a lonely spirit without one's partner are the best, but that is just my opinion. And finally, each line was a flow into the next, more questions, at the end an answer. When a witness talks about love in a poem, the progress of the poem goes well which it really did in the poem.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR: Nice jargonized placement of simple words turning into a good picture of a spiritual witness. No mistakes in spelling or grammar that I can see. Correct in its form, it sounds like a song.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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Review of Home  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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IMPRESSIONS*Star**Leaf3**Leaf5*: My first impressions of your writing is that you are very excellent. I just love your description, it is vivid, quick, fascinating,scintilating, and active. Using that active voice is such a better thing than being passive. Something I myself must dearly work on. I find this a bit of magic, with the mug of chocolate in a wintry setting. The value I get from it is it is a definitive profile from a WDC member. I luckily have some thoughts of this yet your speed and rapidity of being verbal is a grand slam here. Very nice, summer.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE*Star**Leaf3**Leaf5*:I'm no coach but I think you have a world of talent as I said before. You can utilize this with great strides with more pieces on WDC.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR*Star**Leaf3**Leaf5*: No mistakes, dear. Just maybe indent your paragraphs. A fun item to contemplate.



Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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Review of JUDGE NOT  
Rated: E | (5.0)


IMPRESSIONS: Again, you are always at the core of WDC. A major presence for us, I feel. Your contests and your duty to good form and versification makes us riffle through masterpieces you may have had a part of whether you realize it or not. I care for things like this. And I liked the poem immensely with its deep consequences and major decisions.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: Very excellent advice in poetic form. Again, good things come from faithfulness,,what we can do with nature, and our inspirations. You must have felt that way when you wrote it for its original purpose. I think I know what you are trying to say, it's awesome, really.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR: Perfection.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Invalid Item.

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Review of A Miracle  
Rated: E | (4.5)


IMPRESSIONS: This must be a city-poem. I realized this after reading it and then reading it for the second time carefully as I noted the next to the last stanza. It might have even been the gold nugget in the poem. To have looked at it this way, while I lived in a city, I find it an amazing poem. Ironic, candid, full of detail.

PRAiSE AND APPLAUSE: Whatever kind of poem you wanted it to be, it was just fine. I liked the last line as well. It speaks for itself.

GRAMMAR, SPELLING: No mistakes.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Invalid Item.

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Review of Tater Salad  
Rated: E | (4.5)


IMPRESSIONS: As a comedic sense of word-play with using talking potatoes, this works. I find a comedic piece a nice slice of WDC. Off-the-cuff gem.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: Original, funny.

ANYTHING GO WRONG?: If you wanted to be a little silly, you suceeded. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I like features in the Noticiing Newbies Newsletter. Yours was featured and for a good reason, something different from you guys. Nice. No spelling, grammar mistakes to speak of.
Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Invalid Item.

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In affiliation with Native First Peoples Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)


IMPRESSIONS: I am so proud of you for starting FIRST PEOPLES. I hope to review more and more in this Group. What you have here is an absolute knock-out idea that became a great thing on WDC. Native American Indians are more and more beautiful to me. I just love Princess Megan Rose for her Cherokee spirit and for her wish for me to join this when it was NAI. I believe in you, dear. Your piece is very worthwhile and due to your busy schedule and how you are pressed for time I had to note that you are also doing a wonderful job of writing for WDC. Your pieces are all widely useful to everyone in First Peoples.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: As a cheeky piece, this is well-done. It commands an audience and gives us just some of what you are doing for class in FIrst Peoples. Interesting symbols, interesting thoughts. I think you are wanting to go somewhere with this, and it becomes I noted one ofyour takes on abuse and also sad occurences of which are life-giving and life-caring that cannot or might not work out and find this a very incredible set of logistics. I think you know life, no doubt about it.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR: Gee, don't want to say to much because it is basically fine. In the 9th line, Shirley should be spelling with a cap, but that is just a quick mistake. Most of it is what is necessary. I liked its experiential attitude with grammar and lineage. It's just fine.

Thanks for giving us First Peoples.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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Review of Graveside Grief  
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


IMPRESSIONS: Just had to read another. I am a fan. This was featured in the Poetry Newsletter this week and I have noted your talent well in the Simply Positive Group as a choice of a feature. With this particular poem, it is a bit serious for you. You usually leave a small note of honesty that comes through ryely however this piece is just out and out interestingly sad. Death is the hardest subject to talk about. Some don't want to touch it.
I like the line:
"Yet others must have been loved quite widely, for their graves are piled high with grief from mourners, right up past the tombstone toward the sky." What a line! How catchy! Noteable! Exemplary!
LOVE AND DEATH. It is a reality for most. Your words want to move toward the subject of love before death. This is so admirable.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: As in all your work, it is by far WDC's most original work amongst the others as a whole. I delineated a logical question with this piece. And then solved it. It was most fitting. For those I mourned, in my own world, I would love to keep these words in mind.

GRAMMAR AND SPELLING: No spelling mistakes. You have arranged your poems in such a way that their style is "rebellious" to the norm and stands out as something noone can actually copy. In different instances, they are wild and free. In this instance, more contained, however, never normal.

For RAOK, I have truly enjoyed this piece.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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In affiliation with Native First Peoples Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)


IMPRESSIONS: I get the feeling you have read alot of detective novels? Your take on the "Windy City" detective here is quite clever, has good humor, and many details. I liked your substance to the detective Lou. Gloria was a type-cast take-off I think you wanted to keep as comic relief and I felt that went well. You told a real story here with crime circuit buddies. It was original and fast-paced. It took me a second reading and I understood the blow-by-blow details and took it all in. Good sense of imagination here. Nicely engineered.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: Congrats that it received an award. I think it was award-material. Applause to your characters from Chicago in the '30's. They were dynamite. Nicely lengthy with out a short-out. Good, select dialogue. Sensible, coy description.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR: I didn't see any spelling mistakes. Your grammar appeared fine.

I enjoyed reviewing you for First Peoples as they shine light on Mods.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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Review of Just One Taste  
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


IMPRESSIONS: I commend you for working on a Vampire novel. I hope it is going well for you. I got a brief notion of your work here with this piece for ACE reviews and am very impressed. I liked your descriptions and your subject. Your knowledge of the subject of vampires must be vast. Do
you read alot of Vampire material? It sounds like you do. Your next to the last paragraph in this piece was well done and interesting for us as detail to what you spoke of.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: Good style.

Thanks for contributing for ACE. I enjoyed it.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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Review of COMING UP FOR AIR  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)



IMPRESSIONS: I liked your title immediately with this poem. It invades the poem with lots of meaning behind your deeper thoughts. As a spiritual statement, the poem goes further than meek words. It is based on something much better than that. It has a strong sense of stanzas and gives us something to the imagination as well. To resound in His Glory is a very honorable thing. You did this masterfully.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: I always love to contemplate spiritual poetry. I breathe with this kind of poem and really get something good out of it. I found myself placing myself in the "I" personna and felt just the way the poem did. Examination of soul is a great mentalist exercise. Good job!

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR: No mistakes. Nice style.

Glad you were mentioned for ACE.

Feather Duster
Twilght Rain

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Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)


IMPRESSIONS: I know that you find vampires interesting in stories, Megan. I like to see that you have a comprehensive list of vampires in stories that you like. Your list was filled with tidbits about vampires I am interested in as well. The best thing about this list is it wasn't boring.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: I liked your women vampires, "Rosalie" --I identify with her. Maybe I will write something like this. Thank you for helping me with vampires. I've been going through WDC browsing through vampire stories for several months. All of the ones you emailed me with are great. I have a few of my own that I found too!

MISTAKES: No spelling mistakes in your presentation.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Hail to the group for Simply Positive Forum. What a massive amount of royal reviews have come out of this. The names of these people are the very best on WDC and I'm proud to be associated with this group.

Then, too, the amount of sigs were a testimony like the long list of credits at the end of a movie. This is an ongoing one and I hope it lasts! Thanks Sherri Gibson and Kelly and Stephanie Grace and Vikki and the rest for being so dearly detailed and caring. I love you all.

Greatness.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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Review of Pigeon Parade  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


IMPRESSIONS*Star* I love to read your poetry. Forgive me if I sound repetitive. I will try to come up with one opinion amongst many and try to be original. It's funny but every bird you mentioned in the first stanza I recognized either in my yard or my Mum's yard. Then it was all about the pigeons and it was just mind-blowing. If a person were to seek advice and logic behind poetry, I would place you as a Seer.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE*Star*: I haven't seen one of your poems go down without a fight. And this one here, well it's a lesson yes.


MISTAKES IN SPELLING OR GRAMMAR*Star*: Nothing I could see.

Glad it was in the Simply Positive Forum.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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222
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)


IMPRESSIONS: I noted Bradley, Timmy, Mrs. Lipscome, Mum and Dad, Enid, Tandor, Tabitha--to name most--to be a real team. You have all the elements of a sci-fi extravaganz. Your characters bounce around a bit, but that is to be expected with lots of dialogue. I tried not to get lost and found myself clinging to the ending. Do you suppose more description in further pieces would help the knowledge of where we must go to understand "Timmy at the end of the dinosaur's tail" ?

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE: Good job! You came across.

MISTAKES: Saw no spelling errors and your knowledge on grammar was sufficient.

Glad it was featured in this week's NOTICING NEWBIES NEWSLETTER.

Best Regards.

Feather Duster
twilight rain

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In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)



IMPRESSIONS*Star*: Slated as a medical calendar of days in May over a basically Alzheimer's patient, this was instant "vintage-stew" for me since I had a clinic novel in the early seventies I wrote, and what one calls "mixed stew" to the Editor this week of the Mystery Newsletter where this item was featured. I found this not just hemlock- humorous, but ironic and flat-out interesting as an incident. Detailed nurses' charts are of course going to run this way.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE*Star* "For Hauser to think someone is trying to kill him gives me the impression I am in a Kurt Vongegut book somewhere." Otherwise, Hauser is very ill and not able to handle this problems without steady daily nursing problems. In any case, Ativan was probably not the problem. And Lipitor could only save your life, unless you have developed back pain or any muscular pain from it. No wonder "no deficiencies were found regarding this incident". Yes, overdoses happen. How to trust the Medical Staff is up to you and is the only way going.

MISTAKES: Written up it sounds like there are no spelling mistakes.

Feather Duster
Twilight Rain

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224
224
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)


IMPRESSIONS*Star*: I found your story life-giving and wonderful. It was a well-written story. Everything fit in detail and it claimed a real-life presence that few can override for a beautiful place to catch hold of. To say that it was wet and wild would be silly and sound like I was reviewing a poem however when you write like you do, the words on a beach setting with a lighthouse{one of my favorite subjects} involved, the setting and scene is very exciting. Your roll of words was a virtual dice of active bait. I like your twists and turns as if you really really worked on this when you might expect me to figure it was a quick run.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE*Star* When you spoke of the lighthouse named Barnegat and then in the same piece admitted to being a tax accountant and also added a touch of irony with an obituary, I was delighted. Such is life. We see these things even as we vacation or as we admire things on our journeys and jaunts. Last of all, you have a great style. And that is the epitomy of envy for all writers. You cannot but be a great success in writing, when your style rises above all else.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR*Star*: Somehow this was a masterpiece of grammar. Saw no spelling mistakes.


Feather Duster
vicki


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Review of The Final Goodbye  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)


IMPRESSIONS*Star* I value this piece. My own father died in a similar way and I found it unforgettable. He in fact was unforgettable. I know my nephew felt he lingered on and he was young when Dad passed on. You gave a sense of peace and comfort to a reader. Your discussion of death was tender and life-giving to others. I liked your dialogue that you proposed, it was civil and in touch with family which is always nice. Not a line wasted.

PRAISE AND APPLAUSE*Star*: You have a gift for giving us an honesty here. I felt it to be a reality and it came across nicely. Family issues are sometimes the hardest but always the best to speak of in a piece. You have conquered an audience for this. Your Dad looked good as he looked up for a goodbye and you gave him dignity as you wrote I think.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR*Star*: No mistakes I could catch.

Thanks for sharing this in the Spiritual Newsletter this time. I love features in that Newsletter.



Feather Duster
vicki

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