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Hi jayepmarhsall! After reading your wonderful story "The Door" as part of your package from "Just Because I Want To", I offer these comments:
First Impressions:This was an interesting and slightly creepy read. A familial ghost tale, that has a lovely written quality to it.
What I Liked:It felt like I was sitting right across from you at a coffee shop or somewhere else, listening to you tell this tale. The characters were very realistic, they felt like they could belong to my family. The beginning snatched the readers attention and didn't let it go until the very end. I really liked the epilogue, which cleared up the mystery surrounding the haunted room nicely. I felt like I was part of this journey, listening to the guitar late at night and trying to figure out what was going on. You can't help but feel sorry for the grandmother, losing her son like that and not wanting to let go. The description swere perfect, especially the way you set up the room that Uncle Bill stayed in. How it hasn't changed a bit, and also the rest of the scenery. The old house, barn, and all the things that young boys can get into.
Suggestions:I did think that moonlight was a little overused at times. Like how you could see Jason's eyes because of the moonlight, and then the hallways was bathed in moonlight. It was a little repatitive.
Spelling, Grammar, and Punctuation:None that I notieced.
Thanks for the great Ghost Tale! Keep on writing.
Jewel Busy Busy Busy!