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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/tgifisher77
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154 Public Reviews Given
Review Style
Every word we put to paper comes from someone else. We learn from parents, teachers, books, movies, idle conversations - our entire life becomes our source material. The only thing that's original and unique is our choice of how we put the words together. To be 100% honest, we'd have to credit the Dictionary, Thesaurus, and Google for every poem and story. I may suggest changes in my review. This is not meant as 'serious' literary criticism (I’m no expert). It's merely my record of the ‘bumps’ I encounter as I travel through your words. If I'm thrown by a typo, an awkward word, or a line that doesn't scan, then it's likely that others will be as well. My intent in giving a review is to applaud your work and maybe help you to improve it. A review is merely another reference to consider. If the suggestions prove useful, then use them. If I ‘just don’t get it’, then by all means ignore me! Only the author can take credit for the final words, no matter what the source.
I'm good at...
My co-workers used to call me a 'typo savant'. Apparently, I read letter by letter instead of word by word. This is both a gift and a curse. I am often distracted by a typo when I should just move on in the story.
Favorite Genres
Science Fiction, Mystery
Least Favorite Genres
I'm not a big fan of romance writing.
Favorite Item Types
Poetry
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of 24 Syllables  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Eric,

Well done!

It's not easy to put together a poem that fits this restrictive format and still works simply as a poem. This one works perfectly as-is. I don't think you could improve on it with any number of syllables.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing,

Words Whirling Pumpkin Party!
2
2
Review of The Blood Bank  
Rated: E | (5.0)
J.L. O'Dell,

Here's my donation of 30,000 gift points.

I choose a MB from you.

Thanks

Words Whirling Pumpkin Party!
3
3
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Paul,

I came across your story at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

Nicely written! I think you satisfied the prompt very well. Your dialogue sounded natural to my ear and the conclusion provided a good chuckle.

I do have a nit to pick (because that's what I do best *Smile*).

In the line:

         Who the hells there!

I think you're missing an apostrophe.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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4
4
Review of First Time  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
very thankful,

I came across your poem at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

You've presented an evocative image in a very succinct form. The Gogyohka is new to me, but I enjoy short poems so I'm glad to learn about it. I think you've done well with this challenge.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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5
5
Rated: E | (5.0)
T.A. Brooks,

I came across your story at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

Well done! This is a well-written piece with some powerful images. The dialogue sounds natural to my ear, especially the silence.

Technically, the spelling and grammar are good, I don't find anything to critique.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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6
6
Rated: E | (4.5)
Charlie,

I came across your essay at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

This is well-written and it flows well from start to finish.

I agree that this is a fascinating subject and I agree with your general conclusion. We can overcome nature by the application of will, at least to some extent. The movie A Beautiful Mind shows us an excellent example, and it resonated with me. I inherited the family temper and the tendency to hold a grudge, but I choose not to act out and hurt others.

I think assigning traits to either nature or nurture is problematic when it allows a person to avoid responsibility for their actions. We can use our past to help understand our motivations, but we have to own our present and future actions.

It's also dangerous when certain groups or individuals start talking about 'good' genes. This is usually a thinly disguised justification for bigotry. Take it to the extreme and we arrive at a perfectly reasonable excuse for ethnic cleansing.

I do find a nit to pick (because that's what I do best *Smile*).

In this line:

         acted exactly (like) their parents?

I think you left out the word 'like'.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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7
7
Rated: E | (4.5)
GemininiGem,

I came across your story at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

This is well-written and it totally sucked me in. I enjoyed the build-up to the final battle. The dialogue sounds natural and the story flows well all the way to the end. The pictures made for a great punchline.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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8
8
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Jakrebs,

To grok thy plight is to be rightly named 'poet'.

I came across your poem at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it. Most of us have been there and despaired, whether for a day or a year.

This is a well-written piece that makes a good glass of lemonade. The rhythm and rhyme mostly work and the comic effect smooths the few places where they don't.

I enjoyed some chuckles and learned the correct pronunciation of Dionysus. My only question is why Euterpe instead of Erato?


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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9
9
Review of Briefly Poetic  
for entry "Dandelion
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ned,

Very nicely done!

I really like this poem. It totally works even beyond the 24 syllable requirement. The sunny bloom youth/color reference is perfect for the white head age reference. And of course who can resist a child's breath? You've captured the prompt beautifully.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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10
10
for entry "Language Fascinations
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
sindbad,

I saw that you won the comedy contest and decided to read your entry.

Well done!

This is certainly deserving of an award. The piece is well-written and your examples flow smoothly throughout to an appropriate finale.

Here's another example you may use if you feel it fits your purpose: In the early 1980's I spent a month working on a project in England. One day a question came up that I couldn't immediately resolve. Due to the time difference, I thought it best to call home for help in the evening, so I told my host that I would 'get on the horn' when I got back to the hotel. He gave me a peculiar look and laughed nervously. It seems that the English use that particular phrase to mean the same thing as 'horny' in America.

I do find a nit to pick (because that's what I do best *Smile*).

In this line:

          it's time for other English speakers to accept the American usage is winning


would 'that' work better than 'the'?


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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11
11
Review of I Forget  
Rated: E | (4.5)
rinsoxy,

I came across your story at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

There are some good hooks here to draw readers in and leave them wanting to know more. I think this is a promising beginning for a longer story.

The memory thing is a good device to suggest age. We all (well, us old folks) tend to lose details. Even big ones. I've been trying to write about my Dad building the house that we grew up in. My Mom, my sisters, & I can't agree on exactly which year he began!

I do find a nit to pick (because that's what I do best *Smile*).

In this line:

         It wasn't it was just the result of superhuman endowments

I'd suggest a comma after the word wasn't'.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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12
12
Review of Frantz: a movie  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Xtren070,

I came across your story at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

This is an interesting and poignant tale. It's well-written and your English is very good.

I do find some nits to pick (because that's what I do best *Smile*).

In this line:

         his future wife, Anna, was living with the family as a daughter Germany lost the war,

I think you left out a period after the word 'Anna'

In this line:


         She identified all of his friends.

I think the word 'knew' would be better than 'identified'.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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13
13
Review of An Artist's Peek  
Rated: E | (5.0)
T.L.Finch,

I came across your poem at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

There are many evocative images here that make a beautiful ode to the natural world. I'm a fan of poems with meter & rhyme and this one works well on both counts. Your images, both literary and literal, suit your subject well. I like the way you've played with the word lense to make it rhyme visually with cleanse.

I don't really find anything to critique.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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14
14
Review of Nature's Nocturne  
Rated: E | (5.0)
HuntersMoon,

I came across your poem at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

This is a lovely ode to nature. I like poetry with meter & rhyme and this one works well. Your images are great for your subject. Very well-written!

I do find a nit to pick (because that's what I do best *Smile*).

In the line:

         echo above the ponds and logs.

Echo doesn't sound right to my ear, would echoes be better? Of course, it's your poem so your choice is ultimately correct.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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15
15
Review of Lost inTime  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lou-Here By His Grace,

I came across your poem at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

There are many evocative images here that illustrate your subject well. I'm a fan of poetry with rhyme and meter, this one works well for me.

I don't really find anything to critique, but the word 'seemingly' in the final line weakens your thought. Just my opinion. *Smile*


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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16
16
Review of A dream, but real  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Alisha P,

I came across your story(?) at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

There are many evocative images here that work well for this piece. You've done a good job of capturing the dream-state that confuses and informs and bewilders and consoles. Your physical layout also enhances the piece. I don't really find anything to critique.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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17
17
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Stephbee,

I came across your story at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

This a good piece of fanfiction. A lot of people wanted to see Harry & Hermione get together. It's very well-written and the dialogue sounds natural. I find very little to critique, but . . .

I do find some nits to pick (because that's what I do best *Smile*).

Did you intentionally use the name Hermoine? I'm used to seeing it as Hermione

In this line:

         He was always harassing Potter, instigating him

The word 'instigating' doesn't sound right to my ear.

In this line:

         Harry, full a teenager’s doubts and worries

you may be missing the word 'of'.

In this line:

         What would he think if I complemented like that

I would suggest 'complimented him' instead of 'complemented'

In this line:

         Petificus Totalus would have been a perfect command

I would suggest 'Petrificus'


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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18
18
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
AarTech,

I came across your story at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

There are some interesting images here that pull the reader in. You've provided more questions than answers and that keeps us reading to find out what is really going on here. I think this is a good beginning for your story.

I do find some nits to pick (because that's what I do best *Smile*).

In this line:

         'It was entirely unfurnished, not including the bed I was sat on'

I'd suggest 'except for the bed' and 'sitting on'

In this line:

         part of it's face, almost as if it had been fused to it's own'

I'd suggest 'its' instead of 'it's'

In this line:

          my smaller lucid size

I'm not sure what you mean by 'lucid size'?


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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19
19
Rated: E | (4.0)
Apologue,

I came across your story at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

I like your idea here. It would stronger if you expanded it into a longer piece with more dialogue and a scene that shows how Braun decided to share his winnings. You could even add scenes about the effect of his generosity on the recipients.

I do find some nits to pick (because that's what I do best *Smile*).

In this line:

         'born out from humble beginings'

I'd suggest either 'born from' or 'born out of' humble beginnings

In this line:

         'cog in a money making schematic'

The word 'schematic' doesn't sound right to my ear. Perhaps 'machine'?

In this line:

         'a life confined to a slower peril'

The phrase 'confined to' doesn't sound right to my ear. Perhaps 'doomed by'?


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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20
20
Review of Mercy  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Joylife,

That's just awesome. You've got my vote today.

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21
21
Review of Curiosity  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Zeke,

I decided it was past time for me to return the favor of doing you a review.

This is a nice piece with a good message. I'm a fan of poems with meter and rhyme, so this one works well for me. The rhythm of the third verse sounds a little off to my ear, but that's just nitpicking. Overall, it's a very good effort.

I'm sorry you're not feeling up to writing anymore, we're poorer for it.

Regards,


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22
22
Rated: E | (4.0)
WindSpirit3,

I came across your poem at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

There are many evocative images here that mostly work. I applaud your boldness in creating words and making unexpected juxtapositions. It makes for an interesting read.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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23
23
Review of Me and only me  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Elexis LaFay,

I came across your poem at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

This is a nice piece that captures the teenage tension of conformity vs authenticity. Most of us can remember (or still identify with) the struggle to 'find ourselves'. I'm retired but still unsure what I want to be when I grow up!

I do find a nit to pick (because that's what I do best *Smile*).

In this line:

         Maybe your too blind to see

you may have confused 'you're' and 'your', but it's a poem so your choice is ultimately correct.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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24
24
Review of LIFE OF DREAMS  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Crow,

I came across your monologue at Read & Review and enjoyed reading it.

This is an open and honest reflection on who you are and what you do. I like the way you've used dreams to illustrate your thoughts. I would argue that you do have the courage to publish because you've put your work on this site. As writers, we would all benefit from an honest assessment of what and why we write.

If money is the object, then there are many genres that will sell simply by following the proper formula. That's not wrong, it's honest work for those who are willing to put in the effort.

If the writing is its own end, then it doesn't really matter if it sells or is even read. I know that some who publish here never bother to reread and edit their work. That's not wrong. The writing itself serves their need.

Many, like me, aren't in need of monetary compensation (though I wouldn't refuse it!). We write in search of recognition. I constantly reread my own work and edit it in search of 'perfection'. I hope that's not wrong.


Thanks for sharing and keep writing!


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25
25
Rated: E | (4.5)
Joylife,

This is another good entry for the 24 Syllables contest. I like it and I like the way you've laid it out on the page. But, as a hopeless nitpicker, I have to ask if you meant to spell 'Covid' with an 'e'? I always see it with an 'i'. Of course it's your poem and your vision.

Thanks for sharing and keep writing!

Words Whirling Pumpkin Party!


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