This is an interesting scene that could be part of a longer story. It seems to me that you are presenting it in a screenplay format? I'm not qualified to critique a screenplay as such, but I do find some typos for you to consider. My suggestions are in parentheses.
Here are the spots that I think you should look at:
It depends on how my previous days goes
make as many hours (much as you can) of those fixed 24 hours.
When my strength starts to reduce (fade)
Telling me to cut off to remove (out) many important things and even to cut off (out) my small plans for enjoying life
needn’t cut off so much (out all) enjoyment
Why ALWAYS take (the) negative route?
childlike smile etching (etched) on his face
carefully weigh up every expertly (expert) advice
I think we have (a) nice relationship
as if I was really a too stubborn brat that does (not) want to change!
The one and only chimerical (critical) comment I‘ve ever received
That would be an impossibly uphill one (battle), Mrs. Nightingale.
I could not possibly get through to him, do I all could (no matter what I do).
Maybe one could look into devising a stop-gap limbo (measure) or something
you may have had (a) bad credit score that is only slowly improving
And your fantasy (dream), your plans for disbursement (profit) look very good to me.
After you told me your fantasy (dream) of how you would disburse (earn) £15,000 on your business
Wasn’t it £15,000 you were fantasising about (dreaming of)?
otherwise, you will not be able to realise your fantasy (dream)
That would hopefully make things approximate to normality to a good enough extent.
Keep in mind that my suggestions may not be the best solutions. This is your story and your choices are ultimately correct.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing!
Words Whirling 'Round
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