Hi Melissa, I'm Tinker, and I'm reviewing your "Purpose Driven". A review is just seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader; accept what works for you and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title fit what I was looking for, it drew me to read.
Form: Free verse, short lines, a list of actions from waking to stepping out into the world.
What I liked: Your attitude and positive approach to the morning. I could relate to the routine. Been there, do that daily.
What I didn't like: This bordered on Pollyanna. Not one hiccup in the morning, pretty amazing. There was a lot of redundancy. "Show don't tell" the poetry mantra. As a UK friend of mine would say "This poem is very telly."
Overall: The poem has a great message and the delivery is readable. Good luck to you in your endeavors. Keep the attitude, it will get you far. I would be very interested in reading how you handle the hiccups.
Hi Timtusays, I am reviewing your "No Nukes for North Korea". A review is simply seeing your writing through the eyes of one reader, use what works and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I was looking in the "Community" genre for a poem to review and saw your title and had to read it.
Form: Prose, "monologue", I would call it an editorial. The subject logically evolves throughout. No glaring errors in syntax, spelling or punctuation.
What I liked: You made sense and provided information I had not heard before.
What I didn't like: Although this puts forth a very logical, seemingly knowledgeable argument for not being concerned about nuclear war, it never mentions the 2 guys in charge of either side are crazy as lunes and have no sense of logic or reason about them. There is always concern when madmen are in charge. ~~smile~~
Overall: I thought this an excellent article, well thought out, well written. Thank you, I'll rest easier with the knowledge you imparted."
Hi Than, After responding to you to check my portfolio, I thought I should check yours. This title called to me and I am reviewing your Sonic Doom. A review is just seeing your poem through one readers eyes, use what may work for you, ignore the rest.
First impression: Sonic Doom said to me, "this has to be read". The single line units were not as enticing.
Form: Single line/sentence units which I found awkward to read.
What I liked: The imagery and the thought process behind it.
What I didn't like: It is probably already obvious, the style of the single units. Not only did I find it difficult to read but I think you do your writing a disservice by not allowing any one thing stand out or make a point. It just seemed disjointed sentences.
Overall: This piece has much to offer but the delivery failed for me. I'm sorry.
Hi Than Pence, I am reviewing your " Just a Pinch. Use what works for you and ignore the rest. A review is just seeing your poem through one reader's eyes.
First impression: intriguing title and neat couplets. Interesting and organized.
Form: At first glance I was hoping for a ghazal which would give added interest to the poem but is more challenging to write than the uniform length, rhymed couplets of the poem. The form chosen was simple which fits the content well.
What I liked: This poem was just simple fun to read. I smiled throughout.
What I didn't like: There were some awkward lines, the rhythm was off.
Overall: I enjoyed reading this fur poem. Thank you.
Hi Jim, I am reviewing you The Old Veteran's Friends. Accept what works for you, ignore the rest. A review is after all just another person's opinion. It seems my review is a little late and you have probably moved on since writing this. But for me a poem is never finished.
First Impression: The title nostalgic attracted me as the wife as an "old veteran". The poem centered on the page in neat quatrains set me up for a logical progression and easy reading. I often think of centering on a page as a fancy way of covering up for lack of content and therefore prefer reading left margin poems. But this is just a preference.
Form: Quatrains made up of rhythmed couplets. Meter random. You stay true to form throughout.
What I liked: The content, it was interesting and moving.
What I didn't like: I think this poem would have more impact with a little closer to attention to meter. It got a little awkward in the last 2 stanzas.
Overall: I enjoyed reading your poem. This poem placed the loss all the way back to WWII. A very different war from Korea, Viet Nam and the current deployment.
Hi Tim, I am reviewing your prose poem Wearing Hats. Use what works for you and ignore the rest, a review is just another person's opinion.
First Impression: The title is pretty generic without much interest. I probably would have passed based on the title but it was the first poem that popped up for review so I decided to read.
Form: Prose Poem, it does read like prose, the only thing poetic about it is the line breaks which were appropriately placed. Even poetic devises such as alliteration, assonance, repetition etc. often found in prose were absent or very limited. No figurative language or even imagery were used.
What I liked: The rhythm and flow of the poem made it easy reading and easy to understand.
What I didn't like: This poem just told me what the narrator thought about hats. It didn't show me a hat and it didn't move me to want to go out and buy a hat.
Overall: This is a beautifully written piece but it didn't touch me.
Hi Chris, I am reviewing your "Soul Mates", a Go-Vat. Use what helps and ignore the rest; a review after all is just another person's opinion.
First Impression: I chose to review this because of the form. I have not to date tried to write a Go-Vat though I did research and write about the form here. Soul Mates is a kind of generic title and though it fits the content, I don't know if it would have attracted me to read your poem.
Form: Go Vat, tercets of "commonly" 8 syllable lines aaB aaB aaB From my limited research lines should be uniform but the syllable count has a little wiggle room. You wiggled a lot. You stayed true to the rhyme although you did repeat a word for rhyme, normally best not.
What I liked: It was a love poem with a little different twist. A separated love.
What I didn't like: I think I've already addressed this issue. I think it would have read more smoothly with uniform lines.
Overall: I enjoyed reading this poem and it challenges me to write a Go Vat of my own.
Hi Angel, I am reviewing your "The Fawn". Use what works for you and ignore the rest. A review is just another person's opinion.
First Impression: A fawn will always attract my attention. The neat quatrains said easy to read. I'm in.
Form: Alternating rhymed quatrains with alternating lines of 4 syllables and 3 syllable. Consistent, easy to read form but this is NOT a Ch'i Yen Shih which requires 7 character/syllables per line with caesura loosely after the 4th syllable in each line. Rhyme xaxa xbxb xcxc etc. x being unrhymed.
What I liked: The simplicity and sweetness of the poem.
What I didn't like: Lack of recognition of form. (It's my thing most wouldn't even no what the elements of the Ch'i Yen Shih are.) Maybe this was a little too simple. It didn't really offer anything new or interesting.
Overall: I enjoyed reading this poem it made me feel good.
Hi Drifter, I'm reviewing your Breaking the Seal. Use what works for you and ignore the rest. A review is just the opinion of one person.
First Impression: I knew on reading your title and teaser what the joke was. I kind of wish I didn't know and got to discover it as the dialogue unfolds.
Form and structure: Prose, dialogue. I think the use of "quotes" is a little lazy which contributes to some confusion of who's speaking or it is the narrative.
What I liked: I loved Zelda. The character was enduring and made me smile.
what I didn't like: I did have to go back and forth a little to decide who was talking. It gets a little telly at the end. The reader gets it long before the end and that is where it should end.
Overall: I enjoyed reading this. It just went on too long.
Hi Army Guy, I am reviewing, It's a Special Kind of Pain. Use what works for you and ignore the rest, it is after all just one's person's opinion.
First Impression: I was curious what was so special. I was a little afraid I would be reading someone's angst. But I ventured forth anyway. Normally I wouldn't recommend the title also be the first line especially when the first line would become a refrain. It is redundant. I do have to admit it was the title that drew me.
Form: Written in 3 stanzas, an octave followed by quintains and ending in a single line. Random rhythm, no particular meter. Rhymed, rhyme scheme Abbccddx Aeeff Agghh A. Written with a refrain, L1 repeated as the first line of the next two stanzas and ending the poem.
What I liked: It didn't sound like angst, even though it was a list of feelings from being left. The repetition of the refrain was effective in grouping the list of woes.
What I didn't like: It bordered on angst. It didn't provide any real surprises. Some of the lines were too long. This was a list, there was no attention to line breaks.
Overall: For the type of poem it is, I found it easy to read and it wasn't boring. Some technique was shown.
Hi Pat, I am reviewing Meditation. Accept what works for you and ignore the rest. It is after all just another person's opinion.
First Impression: The poem is short with a simple generic title which probably wouldn't have attracted me to read accept I could see it wouldn't take long to read. It looks attractive on the page.
Form: Written in 2 unrhymed quatrains with random line length and rhythm.
What I liked: The subject. I'm always open to insight into meditation. It was short and easy to read.
What I didn't like: Meditations was described in very abstract terms. Show don't tell is the poet's mantra. Not enough showing or imagery.
Overall: This is a pleasant poem with no surprises or insight. It didn't touch me, I'm sorry. But it was flawlessly constructed.
Hi Dana, I am reviewing your, Your Sweet Promises. Accept what you can use and ignore the rest, it is after all just one person's opinion.
First Impression: The poem looked like a quick and easy read and honestly I wanted to review something that wasn't complicated and your poem looked like the right choice.
Form: 2 tercets followed by a quatrain. Random meter Rhyme xaa bbb cddc x being unrhymed the d rhyme is near rhyme. A very simple form that seems to have happened on the fly.The first stanza had a great rythm and it continues to the next line then gets out of step. I think with a little more attention to meter your poem would be elevated.
What I liked: It was quick and easy to read as promised and it had a surprise. Most of these little dittys don't mention fetishes or stews. I thought it was going to be the same old same old. The 2nd stanza stepped outside of the box.
What I didn't like: Stanza 4 was cliche and not even melodic.
Overall: I liked reading this poem. Once I started critiquing I had more appreciation for you what you were writing. You have skills but for this poem you lacked the discipline to reign in the rhythm. You got the content, this poem just needed a little more careful attention to the craft.
Hi FiveSixer, I'm delighted to review your Last First Time. Accept what works for you and reject the rest. After all it is one person's opinion.
First Impression: You had me at the title. I had to read it.
Form: Free Verse, fluid rhythm with logical syntax.
What I liked: Everything.... You had me smiling throughout. A simple yet explosive expression of love. I especially loved:
"Each tingle and tickle
feels so adolescently new"
What I didn't like: Nothing.
Overall: Thank you for this enjoyable, surprising poem.
Hi Daniel, I'm reviewing your The Hill. Accept or reject what works for you, it is after all just one person's opinion.
First impression: Title was so generic I didn't know what to expect, The teaser of course then set me up for a spiritual poem. First glance at the poem said, this is going to be a long one. Honestly if I was just flipping pages to choose a poem to read, given my first impression I would have passed on reading this.
Form: 10 quatrains, loosely written in tetrameter, rhymed with random rhyme scheme aabb ccaa aaxa ddaa effe hhha iixa jjjj xxkk llaa x being unrhymed plus some internal and some cross rhyme.
What I liked: The frame was formal in sync with the content, the rhyme was musical and I most enjoyed the internal rhyme and the cross rhyme. I loved the sonics of the 6th stanza. Its rhythm and rhyme seemed to capture the whole content of the poem. And best of all, this poem was spiritual without getting preachy.
What I didn't like: Walt Whitman said that the key to writing good poetry is "Condense, condense, condense." The poem went on saying pretty much the same thing over and over. There were no surprises. No ah ha moment. For some reason I often come across archaic words used in spiritual poems which give the poem a feeling of reliving the past. God is alive and well and living in the now.
Overall: I believe this poem would have more impact if it was shorter and had something unique to offer the reader. The attention to art was not lost on me, I appreciate reading a well crafted poem.
Hi Genipher, I'm reviewing your She Should Have Known Better for I Write. Accept or reject whatever you read here, it is simply my opinion.
First Impression: I knew where this poem was going just by reading the title. Of course I already had a smile on my face waiting for the saga unroll. Not sure I like that the title mirrored the first line. It seemed redundant. But since the first line is the refrain leading each stanza, it is the title not the line that probably should be upgraded.
Form: Written in 5 quatrains, accentual verse with loosely 3 stresses per line, rhymed xaxa xbxb xcxc etc x being unrhymed. Neat, efficient and musical. Nice.
What I liked: A humorous rendition of the plight of a writer with small kids. The love flowed through.
What I didn't like: Well I wouldn't say I didn't like it, but I believe it could be improved on especially the rhythm.
Overall: I enjoyed reading this, it took me back to remembering when I wondered if I could ever go to the bathroom or take a shower in privacy. Frustrating I recall but oh how I miss those wonderful days. Thanks for the reminder.
Hi Marinette, I'm reviewing your poem My Hear Made New because it was the first up when I clicked "Review". Accept or reject what you read here, it is just my opinion.
First Impression: The title almost made me click "Review" again. I thought "angst". Mind you I hadn't read any more than the title at this point. There is nothing new about that title. I'd rethink your teaser. Why should a reader care? Why would a reader be interested in reading this poem?
Form: Random meter, begins with a stanza of loose iambic pentameter then the rhythm fluctuates. Rhyme, the first six line stanza has rhymed couplets, then next 8 line stanza is unrhymed until the last couplet which is rhymed, then another 6 line stanza unrhymed until the last rhymed couplet and it ends with a lone rhymed couplet. This does have form, I would not call this free verse but the form is confusing.
Content: This is a narrative rather than lyrical, it sort of tells a story. A girl with a damaging past is saved by someone (or God) who helps her trust and love again. It gives no details of the past nor of the saving. It is more like a thank you letter to her savior written by a narrator.
Overall: I felt this poem lacked focus. First in form, free form or structured the frame should be more consistent. Telling a story, needs details, writing a letter would be written be in the first person. "I was a girl broken by my past and you saved me." It was more like a journal entry than a poem. I'm sorry, I probably should have passed on the review as my instinct urged me. This poem is abstract and probably very important to the writer and to the person who was the savior but not for a random reader.
The saving grace is you can write. I recommend you read some good poetry. Robert Frost, Mary Oliver, Sylvia Plath, Elizabeth Alexander or some of the more modern poets Molly Peacock, Nikki Grimes etc. Keep writing.
Hi Tim, Your title caught my eye and made me curious so here I am with a review. I rarely review other than poetry so this will be a stretch for me. As you are very aware a review is just another's opinion. Use what works, reject what doesn't.
Overall: I wasn't disappointed, you logically explain why and proceed to show us how. Your content is instructive, helpful and easy to understand.
Strengths: The layout of the piece. Visually as the reader I could follow and emulate.
Questions: I agree content is the core but form does matter. Never sacrifice content for form. But the honed craft of writing merging with the writer's soul is where the magic happens. I wondered while reading your essay if this piece was directed primarily at prose.
Rating: I always feel badly when I give a 3 and I haven't given anything lower yet. But I have given them. It is worth some rating just to write and post for others to read. And a full 5 stars is rare but given with my full enthusiasm when I have been touched. I almost gave this the full monty but I did have the doubt about the downplaying of form.
Summary: Well I think I may have summarized in my Overall section. I did enjoy this essay, you have added more to my arsonal of ideas for review. Thank you.
Hi Pony Tail, I'm reviewing your The Passing the Time because I can relate.
Form: Free verse conversational style, just talking about how things are. Very fluid and easy to read.
Word Choices: power words, erodes, bends, cripples, dims, fades well placed.
Overall: This was right on the money and those of us in our upper years will relate. No one gets it until they live it but you do a good job explaining. ~~Smile~~ Nice work.
Hi Stephen, I'm reviewing World Mental Health Day. Normally I would crit the frame and technique but I don't feel it appropriate for this poem. It is what it is, it communicates the message. A fitting tribute to the nurse you wrote it for and a fine reminder for all of us that mental disease is as painful and difficult to recover from than any other life threatening disease. Thank you for the crusade.
Hi Cheri, A review is just someone else's opinion, accept what works for you and reject what doesn't.
Title: Silence of Broken Romance is a little long and gives away much of your poem.
Form: Unmetered quatrains with rhyme xaxa xbab etc x being unrhymed. The poem might have flowed more fluidly if you had at least made the lines the same length. You missed the rhyme in the last stanza, well you had assonant rhyme but it didn't adhere with the rest of the poem. Prompt required elements symbols done well.
Overall: This was a sad poem with some interesting imagery. Your use of simile could be made stronger by switching to metaphor. "lonely the gallows loom" "with loathing a vicious snake". I admire your tenacity in including all of the symbols but the poem could use some editing to smooth is out a bit.
Hi Joy, I don't know how I stumbled on this gem but here is my review.
Title: Grandpa's Back, a wonderful introduction, it felt like coming home to read the poem.
Form: Quatrains made up of rhymed couplets lines of random 3 or 4 stresses.
Overall: A delight to read. The best lines of the poem for me were
"I see a man home from sea,
who possessed a piece of me"
These words made the poem for me. Thanks.
Hi Neva, I'm reviewing your Thoughts on the New Year written in 2011. It has a nice message and was appropriate I ran across this just before the change to 2018.
I'm unsure what source you used for the elements of the Gwadodyn but it is missing a cross rhyme in L4.
The Gwadodyn is written with any number of quatrains made up of a cyhydded naw ban couplet (a 9 syllable rhymed couplet) followed by either a cyhydedd hir couplet or a Toddaid couplet. It appears your chose the cyhydedd hir which is the easier of the two couplets but it has a cross rhyme in L4.
xxxxbxxxxb
xxxbxxxxa http://www.poetrymagnumopus.com/forums/topic/968-2...
I love running across poems written in these ancient Welsh forms.
Merry Christmas Ken, I can't say how much this small poem touched me. It was a perfect gift this morning. For the first time in 16 years I'm unable to be with my grandchildren on Christmas. It will be a quiet Christmas with just my husband and I for whom in this last year I've become a care giver.
For me the season is best with the chaos and simple love of children around and your haiku said it best. We Face Timed with my family last night and my 8 year old grandson told me he made a present for me and he was so happy to tell me that, your poem in a nutshell.
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I thought it was going to be the same old same old. The 2nd stanza stepped outside of the box.