Hi Fairport, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your The Dark Cathedral. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I think the title says a lot without giving away the poem, intriguing. The poem looks crafted on the page. The appearance says a poem worth reading.
Form: Written in iambic tetrameter quatrains with alternating rhyme. The form compliments the content.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece.
What I liked: Spine chilling imagery, a very well crafted poem with well chosen words.
What I didn't like: As it progressed it was pretty much what I expected to be included in a dark poem. I was hoping for a surprise to take it over the top from a very good poem to great poetry. Easier said than done. But isn't that what we all strive for?
Overall: I enjoyed reading this poem. I felt the creepy.
Hi Neva, I'm reviewing your Repubic of Belarus. As you know, a review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: Pretty self evident, a piece about the republic of Belarus. I know very little about the country and your essay is a reasonable length so I thought to read and review. I need to expand my horizons from poetry. It appears on the page like a Wikipedia article.
Form: An essay, a genre I know little about but am willing to learn. Noted each unit has a title and the main points of the republic seem to be addressed. Your essay appears well thought out and organized.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw not concerns.
What I liked: I thought this was well crafted and quite interesting.
What I didn't like: Here is where I get picky and remind you to feel free to ignore. This was mostly all facts with little opinion. Only mentioning your admiration for the beauty of Belarus through reference to photos in a book, did I connect the writer with the essay. I would have liked to hear at the end a sort of summary of how this research effected you, what did you personally think about the country? You are a knowledgeable poet and yet you never mentioned the literature of the country. It is through a country's literature that history and culture is recorded. A poetic point of information, Maksim Bahdanovic's Romance Stanza is emulated in English even today.
Overall: This was a very informative essay, inspiring me to read more about the genre itself. I have so much to learn.
Hi Genevieve, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your Silenced Symphony. A review is seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: Interesting title and a very short poem... The pattern of single line with space except for one couplet appeared a little scattered but it was short enough that I was willing to read.
Form: Free Verse in 9 lines spaced out upon the page. If it were mine, I would at least tighten up some of the lines, taking away the spacing between L1-L2-L3 space L4-L5 space L6-L7 space L8-L9. It would be an easier read and the rhythm would flow more fluidly.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. L4 "braze" did you mean "breeze" ?
What I liked: L7 "As I am the composure to my own closure" Great sonics and thought. My suggestion would be
What I didn't like: The thought process gives a cohesive message but the scattered lines give this piece a scattered feeling.
Overall: I liked the concept of this poem but found the delivery a little distracting.
Hi Adriane, I'm Tinker and I am reviewing your Hometown. A review is seeing your writing through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem useful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title though fairly generic when paired with the teaser sounded interesting. The poem looked like a quick read and the 5 stars told me someone thought this poem was very, very good. I'm in.
Form: 3 nonmetric tercets with rhyme xab xab xab. I thought the frame interesting and I thought it complimented the content.
I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow. I saw no concerns.
What I liked: The first line says it all. You immediately set the tone of the poem.
What I didn't like: Well I wouldn't say I didn't like it but, the last line seemed a little lack luster after some of the more powerful images in this small poem.
Overall, this is an impressive poem, easy to read and interesting.
HI Chris, This is Tinker and I am reviewing your Child to Teen. I'm sure you know, a review is simply seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, used what you deem helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I know your name from the Oriental Poetry Contest, so when this poem popped up for review I couldn't resist. The title is fairly generic but holds some interest.
Form: The stated form in "location" is Rondeau, an old French family of forms with some very popular members of the family like the Rondeau itself, the Villanelle and the Triolet. Your poem is not a Rondeau or any family member. It is closer to the frame of a Wyatt/Surrey Sonnet. A 14 line lyrical poem, iambic pentameter, rhyme abba abba cddc ee. Your poem is 14 lines with rhyme abba abba cdcd ee. But it fails the sonnet test because it is a narrative rather than lyrical and the meter is random. No judgement, just an observation.
I don't actively look for error in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the poem. I saw no concerns.
What I liked: I could relate. I had one of those. Well the one and only time he laid down on the floor and kicked and screamed he was 2 years old and quickly got over it when he realized he had lost his audience. Oh well he grew up to be a fine man, now dealing with his own teens. (what goes around comes around).
What I didn't like: You can see I have a pattern to my review. It is here where I get picky. I didn't like the rhythm. I'm not saying this poem should be iambic pentameter. But a poem is to be read out loud, listen to the beat, the rhythm of your words. It doesn't flow.
Overall: This is the poem of a frustrated parent. Teens can do that to you. There is a large audience that can relate.
Hi Dr Gupta, I am Tinker and I'm reviewing I Know Not. A review is simply seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you deem useful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: A love poem that Knows Not? This might be interesting.
Form: Written in couplets in lines of 7 syllables, the last phrase of L2 of each couplet is a refrain that repeats couplet to couplet. Rhyme xA xA xA etc. x being unrhymed. A being a refrain. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the poem. I no concerns.
What I liked: I thought the first couplet was a clever choice of words. I also liked the neat couplets with the refrain.
What I didn't like: It had a little too much angst for me. Sorry.
Overall: This is a poem about lost love. It is very sad.
Hi Sorji, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your Ode to a Teddy Bear's Purpose. A review is simply seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what is useful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title sucked me right in. The appearance of the poem on the page was neat and short, saying easy read, take a moment and enjoy.
Form: Free Verse, I think you could get more focus rethinking some of your line breaks. Each line does not have to be a complete thought unit, sometimes you can get more mileage by breaking the thought to give emphasis. For example your line
Thread, felt, shiny buttons and polyester fill.
That of which is comprised is not what it is.
Switched to something like:
Thread, shiny buttons, felt
and polyester fill,
that of which is comprised
is not what it is.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no disruption.
What I liked: The content. The poem is a sweet poem for children or adults.
What I didn't like: It is just a personal preference: Caps at the beginning of every line is common in classic poems but in today's Free Verse it sometimes breaks the rhythm.
Overall: I loved this sweet poem. Worth the moment of time it took to read.
Hi Cheri, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your Wonder to Behold. A review is simply seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what is helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title is a little generic but appropriate and doesn't give away your poem. But if I was looking to read a poem I'm unsure if this would pull me in.
Form: Free Verse using line breaks and strong end words to communicate your message well. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless they disrupt the piece. I saw no disruption
What I liked: This is an awesome tribute to the Eiffel Tower without ever mentioning it by name. Contest entry to avoid words was more than met and you earned the win. Without the contest, it is a lovely painting, actually raising a little patriotism in my chest even though I'm not French.
What I didn't like: This is just a personal preference, Caps at the beginning of every line are common in the classics. Today, especially in Free Verse, the caps can distract.
Overall: This is an emotion stirring portrait of a well known structure. Nicely crafted.
Hi TL, I'm Tinker and I am reviewing your Into the Darkness. A review is just seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what is helpful and ignore the rest.
Form: The frame is an unrhymted hexastich with alternating long / short lines. This little poem certainly meets the criteria of verse based on a nocturnal theme, evoking the moods of the night or late evening from dark, sinister, erotic, romantic, mysterious, frustrating or whatever happens in the night. The frame is at the discretion of the poet. Your poem lives in the night.
I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless they disrupt the flow of the piece. I noticed no disruption.
What I liked: I felt the hopelessness of your poem. It was a little creepy but it was meant to be.
What I didn't like: I was a little confused by these lines. . .
"One day I will awaken from my slumber
to find there is no dawn,"
You had just said you "wake with the coming night" These 2 lines then turn around and say, one day you'll "wake and find there is no dawn" It sounds like you are waking at dawn.
Overall: This was a small poem trying to capture the dark plight of the vampire. This poem was an easy read with a dark undertone. Everyone needs a little darkness in their life, it makes the light that much brighter.
Haha Dave, I am reviewing your Ticky, Ticky, Tock, Tock. You know my schpeal by now, (unless you don't read the reviews you reward me for) use what helps and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I'm not sure the title drew me in, but the photo certainly did. As did the appearance on the page of the poem itself.
Form: At PPC you present this as a "Nocterne", a genre of poetry about the night; evoking the moods of the night or late evening from dark, sinister, erotic, romantic, mysterious, frustrating or whatever happens in the night. It is my opinion that it is a far reach, or very loose interpretation of a Nocterne. What I see in form is a Nonce form unrhymed, with a single line refrain beginning the poem and alternating with a sestet, quintain, sestet, ending with the refrain. The lines are alternating long (5 stresses)/ short (3 stresses) with some diversion. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no disruption.
What I liked: Boy could I relate to the aging, tick tock. The poem reminds me I have to look for my keys before I head out to a movie and dinner with friends. I can see they aren't where they should be. I liked the ease of progression and the light hearted examination of aging. And of course the "lavender corsage". Mine corsage was white roses with blue forget-me-nots. He knew my dress was blue.
What I didn't like: You know I'm a form nut so I would have loved to see the rhythm of the poem more consistent. I totally agree the content comes first, but you actually start out with a defined meter. I wonder what it would sound like if you had continued with a frame reflecting the first stanza.
Overall: This was a delightful poem, with reality, personality and humor. Loved It~
Hi Sam, I'm Tinker and I'm reviewing your poem "She's Dying". A review is simply seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title was a little unnerving and I hesitated before choosing to read. The poem on the page looks dense but fairly short. Closed, not easy to read.
Form: Free Verse, a 16 line poem, unrhymed, with long lines. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation, or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the poem. I saw no disruption.
What I liked: This was a sincere, heartbreaking personal plea to an individual of great importance to the speaker.
What I did't like: I believe this poem would have more impact with shorter lines. The beauty of Free Verse is the line break. It allows us to put emphasis on a word by its placement, usually at the beginning or especially the end of the line. I think you did not use the form to its fullest potential.
Overall: This is a personal poem, not really meant for the random reader. It has potential but needs attention to word placement, rhythm and line breaks to give the best impact.
Hi Kare, I am Tinker and I'm reviewing your "Speak Soft My Name". A review is simply seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what is helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title is great! Who could resist this poem. The open chant like appearance on the page is equally compelling.
Form: Nonce form, unrhymed, a couplet, quintain, couplet, quatrain, couplet, 2 quatrains in that order, ending with 4 couplets. The rhythm of the couplets is uniform, chant like. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no such disruption.
What I liked: I loved the sonics of this poem. The chanting rhythm, the repetition of the "or" sound through out, and the simply the beauty of it all.
What I didn't like: That I didn't write it.
Overall: This is a beautiful, well crafted poem. Thank you so much for this read.
Hi Margarete, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your The Lakefront. A review is simply seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what is helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title is generic and probably would not have attracted me if I wasn't already looking for a nature walk. The size of the poem appeared a little daunting but I have time on my hands right now so why not?
Form: Free Verse, well really more like prose in lines. Each strophe could easily be converted to a paragraph. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation, or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. I saw no such errors.
What I liked: The literal imagery is clear and pleasing. It was a different "lakefront" image than I am exposed to. A lake in a city with a concrete wall. I wondered where this would be. I thought it interesting to explore a new space.
What I didn't like: Other than the clear imagery and the one simile I saw no apparent poetic techniques or devices.
Overall: This was a well written piece describing with clear detail a beautiful moment. I enjoyed it.
Hi Carly, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your "Lost Earring". A review is just seeing your writing through the eyes of one reader, use what may be helpful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title intriguing, the page open and short saying to me, easy read. I'm in.
Form: Flash Fiction: I am unfamiliar with the parameters of "Flash Fiction" other than it is prose and appears short. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow. I was brought short in paragraph 8 " she asked biting back the sarcasm that was raring to push forth" at the use of the word "raring" ? which didn't make sense to me. I wondered if you meant and mistyped a different word?
What I liked: I thought you told a complete story in a short "flash" writing. It had interest and it had emotion which you transferred to the reader.
What I didn't like: I actually thought it went on too long. If it were mine (just thinking out loud) I would eliminate the entire last paragraph and would end it something like
""Oh...." Cadence sputtered as she fingered the lost orb, "Thank God." as she waved Grady away.
In my opinion, the last paragraph tells the reader what to think when you have already shown the reader what to thing from the story itself. The paragraph is redundant and kind of dumbs it down.
Overall: I enjoyed reading this "Flash Fiction". It was a mini piece of life shown clearly to your reader.
Hi Lady Phoenix, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your Falling River, River Falling. A review is simply seeing your writing through the eyes of a reader, use what may be useful and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I normally stick to poetry for writing and reviewing but I happened on this at I Write and the title compelled me to read. The short story appeared open and easy to read. It was attractive on the page.
Form: Short Story, prose. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the piece. You have a typo in paragraph 16, "She picks the girl up, setting her on the self to climb through." I'm sure you meant shelf
What I liked: I was completely pulled into your story, the imagery was clear and compelling. I could feel the letting go, I could feel the fear, I could feel the connection between River and the girl.
What I didn't like: I have no suggestions to help improve.
Overall: I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story. I stepped right in. This is a well crafted, well thought out piece. Thanks for the read.
Hi Matt, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your "Maybe Tomorrow". A review is just seeing your poem through the eyes of the reviewer, use what helps and ignore the rest.
First Impression: I was intrigued by the title and the teaser. Curiosity drew me in. The page however with its series of long single lines was not attractive to me and looked like it would be disjointed and difficult to read.
Form: A series of single lines separated by space. Long Germanic lines written in two hemistiches paused by caesura with internal rhyme at the hemistich and end word. I don't actively look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax but if it disrupts the flow of the poem I notice. You missed a comma in L5 after "old", L7 after tape, L15 after tape. For consistencey L10 after price, delete the word "and".
L15 the rhythm is off and I think it could be corrected simply by deleting "terror". The words immigration and threat in the same unit scream "terror" without having to provide the word.
I could not help wondering if the verse would be more attractive on the page if it was broken at the caesura and the 2nd half of the line was indented below the first hemistich. Like:
Remembering old friends who forfeited their lives,
for this now septic country where misery thrives
No police presence in this modern Gomorrah,
will surely get better, maybe tomorrow.
I apologize for tinkering with your poem but I was curious and I for one would be more likely to read a poem that was more attractive on the page. Just a preference. Remember, you are welcome to use or ignore.
What I liked: The poem was interesting, with a clear point of view.
What I didn't like: The poem begins with a clear concept of form and style but gets a little lazy in its execution missing simple things such as the commas noted above and the rhythm is not always in sync and use some attention.
Overall: This was a dark picture of nation that displayed with vivid images that validate the view point. I was saddened by it. I think of the UK in such different images.
Hi Rhyssa, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your Belarus: Belovezhskaya Pushcha. A review is just seeing your poem through the eyes of the reviewer, use what works for you and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title was a little heavy and might not have pulled me in but I was interested in seeing what participants wrote about the same subject.
Form: Free Form in 18 lines. I don't actively search for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the poem. It bothered me that the beginning of L1 and L14 were uncapitalized. (Is that a word?) Clearly it was deliberate but it was off putting for me.
What I liked: I liked the images of Father Frost and the Snow Maiden. I had never heard this before.
What I didn't like: I guess I mentioned it under "Form" and it is just my preference.
Overall: This was an interesting, entertaining poem that I enjoyed very much.
Hi Sweetetceter, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your There's a Tombstone in Graceland. A review is just seeing your poem through the eyes of a reader, use what works for you and ignore the rest.
First Impression: Great title, although I have to admit to thinking "Elvis" at first.
Form: Free Verse. I read this out loud and feel it could read smoother with different line breaks. Can I suggest you play with this a little breaking the lines in different places. For example
There's a gash
in its side,
festering with rot
In this case "gash" is an important image, "in its side", just a little side detail. And festering at the beginning of the line and rot at the end of the line give almost shocking importance to the image.
I don't normally seek out errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it disrupts the flow of the poem. I didn't notice anything out of line.
What I liked: The poignant story. Sadly sweet.
What I didn't like: The presentation, I think this same poem could be more understandable and powerful with some end line adjustments.
Ovrall: I think this poem with a little tinkering could be an emotional piece. I liked it.
Hi Ben, I am Tinker and I've had the privilege of reviewing one of your well crafted poems and now I run across this essay "Newspeak and the Language of Poetic Form" to review. I just became a fan.
First Impression: I had to read what you had to say regarding the techinical language of poetic form, a passion of mine.
Form: Essay which is basically prose which I know little about other than when it makes sense to me I like it. I don't don't look for errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax unless it effects the flow of my reading. You do have a misspell in paragraph 3 "vocabulary".
What I liked: Your message and the examples you use to make your point. Thank you. By the way, the Poe internal rhyme from end word to mid way in the next line is called cross rhyme.
What I didn't like: I don't know if I didn't like it but the essay seemed to end too abruptly. I wanted a kind of summary with more encouragement to your readers to take the time to learn the language of their craft to better appreciate the work of others as well as to assist in honing their own skills.
Overall: I loved that you wrote this. I have no formal poetic education. However when I became interested in poetry, (after my son was raised, my agency was established and my last horse died) I made it a point to read, read, read and read more. I made it my mission to understand the craft and to do that I had to learn the language. Dave at Poet's Place calls me the poetry police because I insist on using the correct technical words when describing poetic form. So much found on line uses incorrect wording which then is passed on and it gets dumber and dumber and the concept becomes lost. My rant sorry. Thank you for the essay. I gave 4 1/2 only because I did miss the fire in the end. But the content should get a 10.
Hi Aundria, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your "Journey to Live". A review is just seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what works and ignore the rest. Congratulations on a win at Pond Poetry. It surprised me a little January 2018 winner but the month isn't over yet. I'm unfamiliar with the rules of that contest, I will have to check it out. Anyway, the win tells me this a poem of merit.
First Impression: I thought your title was a little generic. Of course it is dictated as one of the elements of the verse form so the only control you would have is to have L3 and L47 use more unique wording. (Just thinking out loud.} It was the poetic form that caught my eye and invited me to read on. I wrote a Blitz poem only a couple of months ago and found it a challenge. So I was very interested in what you wrote.
Form: The Blitz, rapid fire, short couplets with a chain link from one couplet to the next that expands to include the last word of one couplet being repeated as the first word of each line of the next couplet. I wrote mine about the fire storm in northern CA, a kind of panic mode poem. I was curious how the journey of life could be such an urgent push. There were no glaring errors in spelling or syntax. An element of the form is to have no punctuation. You used the elements of this form well.
What I liked: It carried the reader on a journey of your emotion.
What I didn't like: The imagery was vague and abstract. Nothing concrete.
Overall: A well constructed poem that travelled the range of emotions.
Hi Jane, I'm Tinker and I am reviewing your "Getting Ready". A review is just seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader; use what works for you and ignore the rest.
First Impression: Your title and teaser did not really attract me but I could see the poem was relatively short so I chose to read. Disclaimer: I'm an old lady, I tend to sidestep teen angst.
Form: A 13 line free verse poem. There were no glaring errors in spelling, punctuation or syntax. I don't normally look too hard at this portion but I will call it if it disrupts the flow of the poem.
What I liked: It wasn't an angst poem. Thank you. It was simply describing the preparing for a date.
What I didn't like: I'm left out of the loop on the faithful cho cho. I haven't a clue and obviously it was important it was the one thing repeated 3 times.
Hi Sophy, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your Blue Bird. A review is just seeing your poem through one reader's eyes, accept what you can use and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title caught my eye. I love blue birds. The teaser made me smile and made me question what kind of poem I was getting into.
Form: Free Verse, fluid, logical and captivating. I saw no glaring spelling, punctuation or syntax errors. But I don't look that hard unless the error disrupts the flow.
Hi Willow, I'm Tinker and I am reviewing your Green and Red Poem. A review is just seeing your poem through the eyes of one reader, use what works for you and ignore the rest.
First Impression: The title did not intrigue me but the teaser did. Your photos don't show on my end so I am dependent on your words alone which is just fine since the words are what I am reviewing.
Form: Cleave Poetry: 3 poems in one... which seemed more like 2 parallel poems, side by side. When reading as one poem, the separate poems didn't always mesh. The next lines needed to be read in sequence.
"Bighorn sheep drink deeply and scale
Sheer cliffs, away from human eyes"
Otherwise great job merging and separating in a logical sequence.
What I liked: The imagery. Literal imagery can paint a picture with words, I didn't need photos, you words showed me. The parallels were vivid, unique to the environment and interesting.
What I didn't like: This form always confuses me until I get into a rhythm. It isn't the easiest poem to read. I wanted the imagery to be a little more creative. There were no surprises.
Hi Ben, I'm Tinker and I am reviewing your The Lonely Tower. A review is seeing your poem through one reader's eyes, accept what works and ignore the rest.
First Impression: Your title was intriguing. Your teaser even more. The poem looked easy to read on the page and wasn't overly long. Even without reading a word it looked like you knew your craft.
Form: Primarily iambic tetrameter quatrains with alternating rhyme. Very appropriate vehicle for the tale as told.
What I liked: I was totally hooked and reading to solve a mystery until the golden hair and then I knew but still read on. Well designed to keep your reader involved.
What I didn't like: Nothing.
Overall: A well crafted narrative that kept this reader entranced. I loved it. Thanks.
Hi Kare, I am Tinker and I am reviewing your "First Drum Set". It's about time this gem got some attention. A review is just seeing your poem through one reader's eyes, use what helps and ignore the rest.
Form: Nonce form of 3 stanzas 2 septets followed by 1 sestet. Indentation prominent to assist content. Rhyme aaaxbbb ccddeee fffbbb. I believe for a more polished poem and consistent frame this poem could easily be condensed to 3 sixains with rhyme aaxbbb ccxddd eeefff. x being unrhymed. The L4 of the first 2 stanzas could be easily included in L3..." little boy with a drum for his band bangs" and "Brightening the day for Mom and Dad with plugs." I am a bit of a form nut so forgive me for playing with your words.
What I liked: The content. Been there, done that. This was heart warming.
What I didn't like: I guess I already addressed that under "form".
Overall: This was a feel good poem that brought a smile to my face. I liked it.
~~Tink 1-26-18
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