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101
101
Review of A Perfect Smile  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tim, Wow, a beautiful love poem. I see it was written in 2021, I hope the blossom is still open.
I am here to review your
 A Perfect Smile  (E)
"I have become truly in awe...Of your comforting gestures..." - a poem.
#1798910 by Tim Chiu
.

*Shamrock* Title and appearance on the page. Who could resist "A Perfect Smile"? The lines on the page appear to have substance without being intimidated by their length.

*Shamrock* Form Free verse, a poem in 15 lines broken into 3 strophes, 4 lines, 6 lines and 5 lines. No apparent metric or syllabic pattern.

*Shamrock* Texture, rhythm, word choice and sonics The poem reads out loud fluidly. Words "impassioned, enthralling, angelic, refinement" lift this to love song status.

*Shamrock* Suggestions There are a lot of abstracts in this piece. The intended recipient will connect but the random reader might not. This is just my observation but if it were mine, I would attempt to include more concrete imagery and less adjectives. It is your poem, use whatever you find helpful and ignore the rest of my comments.

*Shamrock* What I liked I loved "the chirping of migrating birds", a concrete image the random reader can connect to. I loved the enthusiasm that the narrator exudes in this piece and I really did enjoy reading this poem.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
102
102
Review of Again  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Kaylen, I'm here to review your
 Again  (E)
A poem about constant disappointment.
#2292494 by Kaylen
.

*Shamrock* Title and appearance on the page. A simple "Again" title may make some curious to read, but the brevity of the piece will certainly attract if the title didn't. Most poets can't resist a very short poem.

*Shamrock* Form A septastich, a poem in 7 lines, using the poetic device repetition at the beginning of each line with using variant rhyme. Rhyme xxaabxb x being unrhymed. No apparent metric or syllabic pattern.

*Shamrock* Texture, word choice, rhythm, and sonics Read aloud it sounds like a chant.

*Shamrock* Suggestions If this were mine, I'd leave out the word "like" in L4, it unnecessary and weakens the line.

*Shamrock* What I liked: You say a lot in a very short poem. That is power.

Thanks for the enjoyable read.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
103
103
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jay, Such a pleasure to read
BOOK
These Are My JOTtings, Part #2  (E)
We live much of life amid unique choices. Joy is anchored in The One beyond our life.
#2172808 by Jay O'Toole


You nailed the meter and the rhyme and most importantly your sonnet "sings". I loved reading this Shakespearean sonnet. The form obviously suits you and the joyfull content is accentuated in the declamatory ending couplet.

Congratulations.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
104
104
Review of Hospitality  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Evie, I'm back, Read and Review popped up another one of your poems so here I am. This time reviewing your
 
STATIC
Hospitality  (E)
A 40-Word-poem
#2292441 by Evie 🏳️‍🌈 write&blog


*Shamrock* Title and appearance on the page Who can resist a little Hospitality? Short and sweet too.

*Shamrock* Form Free Verse, a poem in 11 lines.

*Shamrock* Texture, rhythm, word choice, and sonics. This is a very simple poem, 2 sentences in 11 lines. Even rhythm.

*Shamrock* Suggestions: This is a sweet, optimistic poem but with no surprises or words that bring a little interest. The most interesting word is "sprint", it gives a little life to the poem. I I felt like it fizzled out at the end. Gratitude is the active result of thankfullness, I wanted to see it played out in a concrete image for the reader to connect to. This is your poem, and the review is just one person's opinion. Use what is helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* What I liked I liked the possitivity and brevity of this poem. And yes the word sprint made the poem come alive.

I enjoyed reading your poem. ~~Tink

PS You might like to join us at ~The Poets Place Cafe~ Where twice a week we are challenged to write a poem from a very short one page lesson. The comments are affirming and it is a good place to hone your skills.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
105
105
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Happy, I happened on your poem at Read and Review. In an attempt to restart my muse, I am on a reviewing marathon and here I am to review your
 Self-Righteous yeah not attractive!  (E)
I'm need you to be self-righteous over there!
#2234430 by Happy to write


*Shamrock*Title and appearance on the page. The invitation to read your poem. Admittedly, the title scared me, and the massive, long lines is intimidating. OMG if I review, am I one of those?

*Shamrock* Form: Free verse in 23 very long lines.

*Shamrock* Texture, rhythm, word choice, sonics This reads out loud like a list. But it is an easy read which surprised me. There is a lot of repetition that substitute words might have made it more interesting, "prick" being a standout. ass-hole, numb-nuts, clueless, etc... Just ideas that came to me.

*Shamrock* Suggestions I see this written in 2020 so you've probably moved on but if you are so inclined to tinker with this piece, you might consider possibly breaking it up into stanzas. It might appear less intimidating with some breaks. Walt Whitman's famous quote "condense, condense, condense" came to mind while I read your poem. You actually have something to say but I believe this could be more powerful using shorter lines and fewer words. Less is more, especially in poetry. This is your poem, and this review is just one person's opinion. Use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock*What I liked: I liked the straighforward, no beating-around-the-bush approach to your rant. It sounds authentic and sincere and pissed off.

I hope you accept my review as it was intended, to help you see your work through another's eyes. I actually enjoyed the read.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
106
106
Review of What is True  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Howard, Wow, quite an introduction to WDC. Welcome. I just happened on your poem through Read and Review. Members are encouraged to read and provide reviews to others' works. I've had a little hiatus because of changes in my life that blocked my own writing for a while and reviewing is helping me get back. This review is just my opinion, I critique the craft of writing, not the content, though the content certainly influences my reception. The review is meant to help you see your writing through another's eyes.

*Shamrock* Title and appearance on the page. (Invitation to read.) Your title is straightforward and a little different. Good but could be stronger. Hopefully, it would draw in its intended target and might even invite the casual reader to be curious. Appearance, long but not intimidating with breaks to allow the reader to rest between thoughts, good.

*Shamrock*Form written in nonce verse. (patterns created for just this poem) 9 stanzas, a rhymed couplet, 2 mono-rhymed tercets, 5 rhymed couplets in that order and ending in an envelope rhymed cinquain with L2 unrhymed. Short and very long lines make up this poem. Interesting.

*Shamrock* Texture, word choice, rhythm and sonics. The poem reads fluidly in the rhythm of everyday speech. L1 is a true grabber because of the word "abandoning". Making the image concrete and something the reader can attach to. It hurt to read it. L2 abstract that I couldn't connect to. This is a very personal letter from the narrator to his children and really doesn't let the casual reader in because it deals with abstracts. The casual reader doesn't see the pain, the betrayal, or the attempts to make amends, just words.

*Shamrock* SuggestionsTo be honest, as I read this I kept thinking of Walt Whitman's line, "condense, condense, condense". In my opinion this truly could be a powerful poem with the use of more concrete imagery and many fewer words. The heart, the soul, is present. The delivery can be more powerful with fewer words and imagery that allows the reader to connect. This is your poem, I am only one opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* What I liked I loved the sincerity of this piece. I liked the attempt at creating a poetic pattern for something so personal.

I hope to read more of your work.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
107
107
Review of Stained  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Huntersmoon, Haven't read any of your work for a long time, so I am very pleased to read and review your
 
STATIC
Stained  (E)
I cannot heal the wounds that remain ... A Shadows and Light Poetry Entry
#2159193 by 🌕 HuntersMoon

I hate to break it to you my friend but, this well-crafted poem is not free verse, it is an unrhymed sonnet with a hunter's twist.

*Shamrock* Title and appearance on the page: The title would entice me to read. Unique and bold. Appearance on the page, obviously, a sonnet. I could see it a mile away.

*Shamrock*Form Unrhymed sonnet broken into 4 quatrains followed by a couplet. Though it has no end rhyme, there is a lot of internal cross-rhyme. And it has the added bonus of the first 2 lines repeated as the exclamatory concluding couplet.

*Shamrock*Texture, word choice, rhythm, and sonics. Once I actually read the poem out loud, it was confirmed this is a sonnet not just because it has 14 long lines but because it "sings".

*Shamrock* Suggestions: L9 remain not remains L11 "are not cleansed" instead of "do not clean" L6 only 9 syllables long, technically it should be 10. If it were mine I'd try and add the extra syllable. These are just my thoughts, use what is helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* What I liked Seeing a familiar name that I knew would produce a quality poem and not be disappointed. Yes it is sad, but when she reads it she just might just try and work things out. It sounds sincere.

Thank for the read.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
108
108
Review of The fear of death  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hi Evie, I'm here to read and review your
 
STATIC
The fear of death  (E)
A 40-word poem
#2292402 by Evie 🏳️‍🌈 write&blog
.

*Shamrock* Title and appearance on the page: The title is pretty straightforward, I'm unsure if it would attract or scare off your reader. The shortness of the piece is often considered inviting. Most poets will stop and read a 9 short lined poem.

*Shamrock* Form: Free verse, 9 lines broken into 2 strophes after L5.

*Shamrock* Texture, word choice, rhythm and sonics:The poem is basically 4 sentences broken into lines. It reads fairly smoothly. The interesting words are wrestle and victory.

*Shamrock* Suggestions: The basic message is "fear of death can be conquered and if you try and are not successful you will live with the fear until you die." It is a pretty abstract concept and there are no concrete images to anchor to. The poem offers encouragement to try, but it offers no suggestions on how to try. If this were mine, I would expand on what the fear feels like in concrete imagery. Offer a concrete suggestion in how to over come the fear. This is just one person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ingnore the rest.

*Shamrock* What I liked: I liked the concept, the brevity and the simplicity of this piece.

Thank you for the read.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
109
109
Review of What a Pot!  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Gilben, This piece is interesting. I'm here to read and review your
 What a Pot!  (E)
Short free verse from a gen x stoner.
#2292333 by Gilben67
.

*Shamrock* Title and presentation on the page: I have to admit, the title attracted me. It is just odd which made me curious. The appearance of the poem seems unattractive. Kind of a blob on the page. But it is short and I'm always up for reading short poems.

*Shamrock* Form There is none. This poem is 11 lines long with long, unrhymed lines of no particular pattern of metric or syllabic count.

*Shamrock* Texture, word choice, rhythm, sonics:The poem begins with some fluidity but then despite the long lines becomes kind of choppy. Some very interesting words choices made millenia, hard-assed, poisoned, gambit, chemically modified, centrally-controlled, incarcerated, contravening... these save the poem.

*Shamrock* Suggestions for improvement If this were mine, I'd shorten the lines, just break them up. Otherwise, I think the poem could be improved with a little more thought being put into it. This is just one person's opinion, use what you might find helpful and ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* What I liked: This poem has merit. It is well articulated, kind of sad and kind of funny and always interesting.

Thanks for the read.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
110
110
Review of In Significance  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Terrence, Wow a science lesson and a well-crafted poem. My lucky day. I'm here to read and review your
STATIC
In Significance  (E)
A reflection on our place in the universe
#2182548 by Words Whirling 'Round
.

*Shamrock* Title and appearance on the page: This is the come on to pull the reader in and you nailed it. The title - compelling, the photo - gorgeous, and the neat presentation of quatrains, just long enough not to be intimidating.

*Shamrock* Form: Nine quatrains made up of 8 syllable lines with L2 and L4 of each stanza carrying assonant end-rhyme.

*Shamrock* Texture, rhythm, word choice, sonics: The poem reads fluidily out loud. The assonant rhyme is apparent yet subtle. Words chosen that speak of scientific discovery but doesn't send the reader to google.

*Shamrock* Suggestions:I have no suggestions for improvement. Though if you really want to play more with this poem, maybe finding an alternative word for galaxy which is repeated in short proximity without the sonic impact of repetition as does the word billions above.

*Shamrock* What I liked: I liked the vastness portrayed against the miniscule narrator. Bringing the expanse down to a speck of humanity.

This is only one person's opinion, use what you find helpful and ignore the rest. I very much enjoyed this read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
111
111
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Oh Jaya, I loved reading this. Now, I'm going to pick your "Scent of the Rain" apart in review, to study, to learn, to further appreciate, and to offer my idea of ways to improve, if that's possible.

*Shamrock* Title and Appearance on the page: Title should be capitalized, maybe even made bold. It needs to stand out and draw the reader in. I'd play with this title a bit, it appears "throw-away", or an afterthought. I don't know if I would stop and read based on this title, which would be a shame because the poem is so well written. The poem itself appears neat on the page, not too long, not too short. This, I am compelled to read.

*Shamrock* Form: Written in 5 quatrains with a single line tail. Not end rhymed but some internal rhyme and alliteration, with no apparent metric or syllabic pattern. This not Free-Verse.

*Shamrock* Texture, word choice, rhythm, sonics: The poem is not consistent in its tense. The first three stanzas begin in past tense, caused, cleansed, stood, lingered.. Then you kind of confuse the two tenses, sprouted, springing it should either be sprouted, sprung or sprouting, springing, I think. This is really picky. Just being super thorough for future review of my own work and I might even be wrong but I don't think so. Stanzas 4 and 5 continue in the present tense until "pleased" present tense would be pleasing. The tail is in present tense.

The rhythm of the lines has a nice fluidity and I love the sonics of the piece. internal rhyme, steady, heady and the wonderful alliteration throughout.

*Shamrock*Suggestions: It really is fine the way it is, not many would take a critical eye on this poem. But if it were mine, I would bring the whole poem into present tense. This is just one person's opinion, use what serves you, ignore the rest.

*Shamrock* What I liked: As said above, loved sonics of this poem. Especially this line "tossing their striking heads like sprightly kids". I really enjoyed this poem.

Thanks for this delightful read.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
112
112
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Tim, I am reviewing your poem Your Beautiful Soul. Just showing you your poem through my eyes.

*Shamrock* Title and appearance on the page: The title to the random reader is generic and cliche. Although, if written specifically for an individual, not to be read by others, it is lovely. What drew me to read was the brevity. I can quickly read and review.

*Shamrock* Form: Written in 2 strophes, total 15 unrhymed lines with variable lengths. The first strophe describes the subject and the second describes the narrator's belief and hopes in the relationship. A love poem.

*Shamrock* Texture, sonics, word choice: The poem reads fluidly like prose. To the casual reader, the imagery is abstract. I believe the narrator is in love. The words however to not cause me to fall in love.

*Shamrock* What I liked: I was impressed by the passion of the narrator.

*Shamrock* Suggestions: Please accept that this is just one person's opinion, I felt this poem needed more concrete images to communicate the emotion. sumptuous, gorgeous, soulful intellect, what do these words look like?

*Shamrock* Conclusion: I think this is a personal poem meant for a specific person. To be read by random readers, it needs to be rethought.

I actually enjoyed the ease of this read.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
113
113
Review of That Chair There  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Axton, Sorry I'm late, I've been visiting family for the holiday. I would like to review your poem The Chair There anyway. This review is simply my opinion. One of many I hope.

Initial reaction: Interesting title. Poem is visually orderly on the page, though for my preference, long.

Form: Written in quatrains made up of rhymed couplets. Line length is relatively even, syllabic, written primarily in 11 syllables each. Range 9 to 12 syllables. No discernable metric pattern.

Concept: I thought this a cute tale. Although I don't know what Mom would be happy in a comfortable chair with her kid missing. It did make me smile though.

Summary: I believe the delivery of this piece could be strengthened by more attention given the meter. Maybe iambic pentameter. 10 syllables daDum daDum daDum daDum daDum It almost carries that pattern anyway, Almost but not quite. I also wonder if a nod shouldn't be given to a Mom's sadness at losing her child. (Just an observation.) Overall I enjoyed the poem and would be interested in reading more from this poet.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
114
114
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "August 17, 2020" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Ridinghhood, This is so beautiful. I was worried when I chose the Tapa as the form for Round 77,
I was afraid I would just get two lines of syllabic prose. Thank you for going first and demonstrating how these meager lines can deliver poetically meaningful verse. You've set the bar high

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
115
115
for entry "Treveni" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hi, I am reviewing your Triveni for the Oriental Poetry Contest and I really like the flow and content of the poem.

Judging it, it scores high but it lacks a defining element of the form. The rhyme near the end of L1 and L2 is missing. This would have been the winner if the 2nd line had said "writing a poem is wet work these days. " You would then have completed your main rhyme of the sher sweat / wet making the poem a Triveni. Without the rhyme, it is still a nice poem, but falling short of the required elements for a Triveni.

I really did like it.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
116
116
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Robert, I'm reviewing your How to Achieve Nervana for Promptly with a big smile on my face.

The free verse suits the content well. I love that you never actually tell the reader what Nervana is. Of course one can guess but it could be somewhat different for each reader.

Your lines flow well into each other. Your words have texture and interest.

I enjoyed reading this out loud.

~~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
117
117
for entry "Grey" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Ned, I'm reviewing your haiku Grey for Promptly. I loved seeing a haiku here. All I can say is WOW!

You easily captured the color grey in these 3 short lines and managed to create an aura in concrete images, never mentioning the color other than your title which was totally unnecessary. There were no wasted syllables, you made every syllable count.

I loved the images "ashen mist", "silver fingers" "morning's weathered face".

This is good writing. Thanks for sharing it.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
118
118
Review of Me and Binky  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Dave, I had fun reading this short story. Admittedly, I sometimes skim down your "Discussion" posts and go directly to the assignment. But these mini lectures have good stuff in them, and everytime they cycle round, if I would just take the time to really read, there is something of value there for me to be reminded of. I don't remember previously reading this short story which you included in your "Inspiration" lesson. I get it. Imagination can produce quality pieces.

This little story is an example. So concise, complete and logical. Plus it made me smile.

So now I'm off the get inspired.

Thanks for this.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
119
119
for entry "Pink" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Mike, I have to admit the title, "Pink" was almost a turn off for me. I immediately envisioned some hot pink gawdy tutu. I don't know why.

BUT I'm glad I read on anyway because I absolutely fell in love with your first line. That was enough for me, I didn't really need to read anymore. It just conjured an image of soft beauty, I was willing to just float there.

The Triolet was the perfect form for the content. You executed it well. That perfect line continues to repeat and it paired as well with the clouds as it did with the shells. I have abalone shells bordering a garden bed and pink hovers there. (we used to dive when we were much younger but you have to be young and strong for that. I'm afraid we now only have abalone when my son returns during the season and goes diving. Abalone used to be a staple in our home, I always had 2 or 3 in the freezer. I miss it, your poem reminded me.

I see nothing I can offer that would improve your poem.

I really enjoyed reading your poem.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
120
120
Review of Promptly Poetry  
for entry "Portal" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Beholden, I just finished writing from the same prompt and we couldn't have seen this any differently. I loved coming on to your interpretation of the prompt photo for review.

Beginning at the beginning, "Portal", sounds futuristic and inviting. Stargate came to mind. Who wouldn't want to explore?

Your free verse flows with fluidity. An easy to read piece with good sonics.

Actually the content seemed more reminiscent, nostalgic, than futuristic. I didn't read the Chronicles in my childhood. I've never read them, although I am aware of the story and have seen the movie, watching with my grandchildren who surprisingly weren't all that interested. The piece is really for those who are familiar with the story, having only seen the movie once a while back, I am assuming that the Telmerines refers to the children, I don't remember the names. But I get it, stepping into another world, the mystery, the adventure can be very exciting.

I think I liked the last stanza best, it felt right reading those lines.

I don't see anything on which I can offer for improvement.

As always I enjoy reading your work, this was no exception.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
121
121
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jay, Thank you for entering the Oriental Poetry Contest with your Cool Summer Day. You easily mastered the frame of the hokku and also captured the spirit. Your words were simple but the setting inviting.

Your last line seemed a little separated from the rest of the poem. I didn't quite catch the connection to the harsh wind unless they went under the tree for protection. I am just thinking out loud. My brain is tired and I shouldn't be reviewing so late but I needed to complete this.

I appreciate your support of the Oriental Poetry Contest.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
122
122
Review of Wheel of Fortune  
for entry "June 17, 2020" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Ridinghhood, This entry to the Oriental Poetry Contest was really interesting. Of course, I had to google the 700-year-old Madonna statue.

You easily handled the frame and you documented a unique setting that was compelling. I liked the way the place and event heralds the time. That's creating an image that makes one think. I hope you saw how your poem fit into a renga with a response. "One hokku and eleven rengas"   by Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

I have nothing to offer that might improve this poem.

~~Tink


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
123
123
Review of Hokku #1  
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Oh Rhychus, this is beautiful, spiritual.

Clearly you had no problem mastering the spirit and frame of the hokku. See how it fits into a renga with a response, "One hokku and eleven rengas"   by Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

The only thing I can offer for you to think about is simile uses up syllables unnecessarily in a form that has limited syllable count. The word "like" offers nothing to the image. Using that syllable to further clarify the image would, in my opinion, bring more value to the image. Words like pure, clear, blest, vailed, versed. Sometimes you've got to work for the word. Use what you find helpful and ignore the rest.

Thanks for your support of the Oriental Poetry Contest.

~~Tink

I'll be taking a break from the contest for the month of July but you will be in good hands with Lilli who is stepping back in.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
124
124
for entry "Hokku 6/27/2020" 
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Dave, I was at the VA hospital in San Francisco today, taking my brother for hip replacement surgery. Safety net for vets, so true. I thought it interesting you used this imagery for the opening of a renga.

Clearly you captured the spirit of the hokku. I hope you saw the renga response to your poem {ltem:2225550} It fits right in. Love it.


~~Judi

I'm taking July off. I am just getting too far behind in everything here at WDC, amazingly with the Covid lock down, I'm working from home and I'm slammed. I thought working from home would give me more freedom but instead it is the opposite.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
125
125
Review by Tinker
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
And the winner is ... Kare Enga!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! The hokku could not have been introduced in a more fitting manne

Creating this renga using the submissions for this contest was brilliant. Clearly you understand the spirit of the hokku and you have gifted us all with hokku at its best.

I am privileged to give you an awardicon for effort.

~~Tink


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