I'm with you on the Marley Bros music. I have a favorite concert video I listen to frequently via YouTube. I am also eclectic in my musical tastes, but rarely listen to rap or opera.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your musical interests, and word art with me and WdC members.
Your poem got me excited. I love positivity even when things do not go the way I'd like. I figure there is a good reason that I do not know about. Even with the things that are downers included in your poem those words that should be pushed away, it had a bouncy rhythm. I guess it pushed the negative far from WdC and thee.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
This is quite an adventure into the world of theater. I wonder what happened after Darlene was discovered by Dom Juan? Did he throw her out or get to know her?
Another genre that would fit this story would be thriller/suspense because the snooping around apparently alone could at any time become a discovery of the character who is snooping. The reaction of the person, who makes this discovery, could have varied emotions and reactions. This is great suspense.
Showing more emotions through the character's inward and outward reactions would help readers know more about them and care about them. Readers who have a vested interest in the characters most likely will continue reading the story.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
This is a very good explanation of how to use writingML because it is short and to the point. The value of this information can be used by beginners because it is easy to understand, and by seasoned users as a review or when a reminder of how to is needed.
Thank you for writing, providing this information, and sharing it with me and WdC members.
You certainly described summer in a sensory array of odors and visuals. I could imagine the scents and colorful view. I also could feel the joy of being alive to enjoy this season.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your summer word art with me and WdC members.
I enjoyed the rhythm of your words because although in a way your poem mentioned some sad situations, it also mentioned "touch" which can give hope and uplift the spirit. Your words as I read them were bouncy and uplifting.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
As I read your words I enjoyed a smooth reading experience. They worked well together. I don't remember the tune which should accompany your words, however, it did not distract me.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
Wow, I enjoyed reading your story. The end was...priceless. I could see you searching, preparing the pizzas, and joyfully thinking how nice the party would be as well as the money you saved. The response of the guests as they discovered what you did was a belly laugh, thanks. They paid to go out for dinner. What a change for a birthday party. I wonder why you didn't think to do this sooner? I wonder what happened during dinner?
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
As I read your poem I imagined the people praying, struggling to sing as loud as they can, and with expectations waiting for the rain. I could feel the dust as it floated in the air, the parched mouths, the anticipation and dread of the rain. Anticipation because of having water for all life and dread because of possible flooding.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
I know because of my experience the importance of keeping track of things in a very long piece of writing. The paragraphs before the calendar are good reminders of why planning or documenting as you write is helpful in preventing errors. The calendar is a very nice guide so that participants can follow each assignment and revisit it as needed. I yearn to participate, but life responsibilities and WdC stuff keep me too busy. Maybe I can visit this calendar another time a few months or so from now and use it to help me create a book of some Ideas I have. All-year availability of this calendar would be a priceless and precious gift.
Thank you for writing, for creating the NaNo Prep Challenge, and for sharing this word art with WdC members.
I chuckled at the being in jail part of your poem, many thanks. I could visualize the adventure, antics, and tail lights. Characters are interesting and believable. It seems adventure and partying is the thing. I enjoyed reading about the actions of chill playing on the cheek and the idea of a pail bark. When I read about the bark, I thought about a dog. I enjoy nature and adventures and your poem presented both which kept me wanting ti read.
Adding action/adventure or drama for example to replace contest entry would help potential readers find your poem.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
I could see you sitting at your desk, the tears running down your cheeks and falling onto your desk. My guess is sometimes people get overwhelmed with life and simply need to let it all out. Knowing you have a special person to be with you during this challenge and others was a relief. I'm glad you are not completely alone.
The tears [of] your cheeks should be [off] or depending on the structure of your poem story running down your cheeks.
Biographical as a genre for your poem would apply because it is about you, drama genre would work for this dramatic piece, experience because it is your experience written about in the poem, friendship because of your friend/person, and possibly some other genre. Having all three categories will help readers find your poem when the search WdC for something to read.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
Your story reminds me of Romeo and Juliet. I enjoyed the characters and events. They are believable. I would have enjoyed reading this more if emotions were shown inside and outside the characters. What outward signs of emotion did they have? Clenched fists of anger, shaking because of the love they felt, or was it because of rage, or some other reaction? Did they have tingling blood cursing through their vanes as it heated and their love grew?
In your opening sentence you used the word [was] which is past tense. Does this mean she didn't have this home when this story began? Your first sentence could be more dramatic and have a greater impact by reducing the words, rearranging them, and adding much stronger words. For example: I would start with the main character, explain where she lives, and then add in the relationships between her and her family members. I would also consider these questions: what is the importance of each item/situation in the story? What moves the story forward; makes it interesting and adds to the events/characters/scenes? Emotions show realism to what is happening. What do they feel inside and how do they express their feelings on the outside? Gestures such as facial expressions, body movement, or voice inflections?
I wonder about the village and its beauty or specialness. How does each character respond to their environment? What did Kaori consider before ending her life or who ended her life? Was her marriage so awful that she or someone else reacted in such a violent manner?
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members. You gave me a lot to think about.
Crap is right to a degree and yes, it is a money waster, but people do enjoy this excuse for spending their hard-earned money. I agree with you because I believe it is more important to share time, talent, and affection toward a person, valentine or in other situations special someone, family, and friends. Everyone will die unless God plucks them off the earth body included. We can not take anything with us. Things deteriorate. We are what we have as far as companionship is concerned. I have yet to enjoy a conversation with tools or kitchen appliances, but I have enjoyed the company of people. You have a good point of view that makes cents to me--a penny saved is a penny earned.
My first thought for this unique writing is to add [dark] to the genres. This would help potential readers especially those who are looking for dark types of stories and poetry to find this word art.
I would consider the opposite point of view because people like things, like giving things, and when they can not think or do something more personal and have to rely on comercialism/possessonsisms...well what else is there to write?
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
I guess Bill might be in someone else's doghouse. I could hear and see the characters as they discussed Dennis. Of course with that name, who knows what else will happen.
To expand this story should you choose to do so, you could write about possible solutions for curbing Dennise's chewing adventure. Perhaps suggesting a crate that would keep him safe and secure. Chew toys and bones that are dog-safe. Going for walks. Playing with the dog.
You could change [other] to action/adventure because there is a lot of chewing going on and other doggie and human interactions/responses. Family because the dog is often considered a family member.
I enjoyed reading your poem because the words married well together and worked smoothly, and told the story of "love" of the mind more than the heart but in the end emphasized that love is in the heart and from the heart. I agree with the idea that love is being molested because of the commercial uses for promoting many things in this day and age.
I noticed you used other as one of the genres and had an option of adding a third. Potential readers will be able to find your poem better when you add two more genre options. [Emotional] works because love evokes emotion. Experience will work because this is an emotion someone experiences. [Personal] and [relationship] could work for this poem also.
When you used {love was a prize} did you mean it is not anymore, or did you mean it is misused?
I had to look up [banal] because it is a word I did not know about. Would you please consider creating a drop note for the definition of this word so that readers who do not know its meaning can stay in your poem and not need to search for the meaning.
Your poem told a story I did not know about but it is believable and as it has been said truth is stranger than fiction. I could imagine Samual Adams in court in his argyle suit arguing his case.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
I like the kindness your story shows through the storyteller, Micha. The plot, scenes, characters, and setting are believable because they relate to real-life events. I can understand and visualize your story easily.
The possibilities of adding to this story are possible. I hope you will consider creating more story information.
Genres that would help potential readers find this story could be drama because it is a drama about people's lives and how they are affected by events, emotional because your story has emotions included and could have more as it is expanded, friendship because it tells about friends helping, inspirational, or other genres.
KNOCKED OUT: why by what or who? This is a possible means for expanding your story by explaining about the situation. Showing emotions and actions will add to the realism.
[I showed up to his room] You could rearrange this sentence and use the word . How did this character feel about his friend being hurt and in the hospital?
[it became regularity] Rewriting this sentence will make reading the story easier for the reader. When I read this, I lost the flow of my reading and had to restart again. By changing some words and rearranging them you would be able to make the meaning of this sentence clearer, give the reader a smooth reading experience, and keep them focused on your story.
Please let me know if you have any questions.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
This poem also would fit if you were writing about Santa Claus. Santa Claus came to my mind as I read your poetry. I felt as if you had introduced the bunny/rabbit to me very nicely. I got to know him. The scenes were easy to visualize and understand. The story is believable and I needed to keep reading to discover what happens in this story.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
Your poem fits the requirements of this form. I checked and had to double-check because I missed a syllable or two somewhere. I didn't understand the ending . Your word choices worked well together and flowed smoothly.
I noticed you used [other] as a genre. For readers to more easily find your poem, you should consider using another genre category. [Emotional] would work because words and poem stories evoke emotions.
The word [persists] for me seems to not exactly show the light properly because I feel there is more to this light.
resolute:
[admirably purposeful], determined, and unwavering
This seems much stronger and honors her more in my mind and heart:
Her light
is resolute
her light is, her persistence is, her friendship and life are stronger, at least it seems to be this way to me according to what you are sharing through your words.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
I enjoyed viewing through your words the scene and the characters as they met after a very long absence. Telling as needed and showing the emotions made the characters and plot real to me and I wanted to read every word. You caused emotions to flow through me along with showing those of the characters. Especially the sudden drop and sadness as it was revealed they would never or so it seems be together. I could feel the emptiness alongside the characters as they face the future separately while the past lingers in their minds. This is a nicely written story of love once theirs yet time separated it from them, well done.
I noticed you could add more genres to your story so that people can find it easier and enjoy reading it by using emotional because of the emotions of the characters and the emotions this story evokes within the reader, drama because it is dramatic being in love and then having to continue life without that special person, tragedy possibly because it is awful dealing with this kind of experience, and perhaps a few others.
Did you know with no restrictions about who is able to read your story that some publishers consider it published? This could mean that if you wanted to publish it, it might be more challenging or not published. I suggest that you change this access to WdC members only just in case you decide to publish this story.
I look forward to reading more of your stories. Write with might for reader's delight.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
I had to concentrate on your story because of a few unexpected characters who made the story interesting after my mind caught up with your ideas, great way to get me to really look at the ideas of the story.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your story with me and WdC members.
The rhythm and word choices kept me reading your poem. It is a smooth pathway of words that gives me a complete understanding and a nice picture of you, God, and your special adored person.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
Your story has great potential. The plot seems to be based on possible true events. The characters are believable. Adding to your story would be a great way to explain more about who these characters are, and why they are doing what they do, and give the reader reason to want to read more of your story by making it show what happens.
Please consider adding to the genres for your story so that people can find it easily and possibly it can be nominated for the quills. You could use drama, family, tragedy, or others for example.
Emotions inward and outward show how characters react to situations. How does she feel during her experience?
What motivates the guy to do what he does?
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
The rhythm of your words smoothly carried me from the beginning to the end of your poems. Your words worked well together and I was not distracted. I was easily able to visualize the characters and actions of the plot.
Thank you for writing and for sharing your word art with me and WdC members.
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