Hi Loraine! 
How are you? Hope you are doing fine, and having a great time during what's left from the weekend.
 Overall
I think you did a good job! You kept me reading from begining to an end. You created a good mood, and choosed the right words. In the genre you write, sometimes it's difficult to find the right words, and you are very good at that, also I like that you add some kind of mystery and drama to your writings. Good job!
Spelling
I'm Spanish Speaker, like you, so I'll do my best.
Here are some suggestions for you:
You wrote: But I want to be ready for who or what I don't know.
I think it's better this way: "But it seems that I want to be ready for something that I still don't know what it is." because at this point of your narrative, the character still don't know why is she waiting, and what she's waiting, she's like, feeling strange about something she don't understand. That way it's easier to understand, and also gives it more meaning to what you are trying to say.
You wrote: ...so gentle with my hair I just want to know how else is he... I think that you have to work a little more with this line, because it confuses a little, maybe the sentence is to long, maybe you have to cut it in two sentences istead of one, or maybe you have to add (that I just...) to make it easier to understand. For example: ....so gentle with my hair that I just want to know how is he ...
You wrote: I love to see the eyes of the man who's giving me .....
You should say: I loved, or wanted, to see the eyes of the man who was giving me, not who's giving me, because you are talking through the whole item in past, and suddently you started changing the tense to present. You have to keep an eye on that, and see if you want it to be in present or past tense, ok? 
Then you added: I looked in the mirror and saw his fangs. In this case, you should say: but when I looked in or into the mirror, take out the and, and add: I saw his fangs. That way the sentence is easier to understand and to read.
You wrote: ...my head began to swirl and the night called me to it.
You should say: ... my head began to swirl (as instead of and), the night called me. Take out if you like: to it, at the end of the sentence. Sounds better without the: to it.
You wrote: but the darkness, that darkness called me,
maybe you should say: but the darkness called me. Don't repeat. On that same part, at the end, you can take out the adjetive of that sentence, and just leave the noun.
You wrote: with a very, you can take that out, and just write, wearing, sounds better. After doll, add a (.) and then start a new sentence with Outside...
At the end, you can take out the and again, to not repeat it, just using the again, it gaves more meaning to it.
Remember, they are just suggestions for improvement. You've done a great job! 
Title/Description
Great title, I like it a lot, because knowing that it's a vampire's item, the title goes perfectly with it, for a lifetime... Great choice!
About the description, you can add a little more that can capture the eye of the reader.
I don't have nothing else to say, than it is a great item. Great plot, and keep on writing, you are great!
Take care!
Your friend!
Winnie
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A Special Round dedicated to my son's birthday, is OPEN for you to post your entries, and have some fun. Many activities, and double the gp's!
I'm not ready yet, like you said on your poem, my son, etc. But if time comes, I'll have to do the same, take his hand. Beautiful work!!!! 
HUGS!!!
lol. Now I do! My favorite line is: Sensitivity arises. Good line! I like how you described what MUSE means to you, and that you did it, in just 4 lines. Great job! Love the violet color!