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 |   A little bit of everything, colored my own way. |
 BLOG CHALLENGE WINNER FOR SEPTEMBER 2011 AND APRIL 2012!! ** Image ID #1901871 Unavailable **  After almost a year away, I've decided to revisit Blogville. I'm refreshed and ready...this time around it'll be a little different. I'll talk about a little bit of everything...music, sports, retail life, and more. It's not for everyone...you might not like it, but someone you know (and possibly detest) probably will! WHO THE HELL DO I THINK I AM??  We're gonna find out one way or another!  Relax, enjoy, leave a comment, tell your friends... A special thanks to Julie D - PUBLISHED!  for the 2011 Quill Awards image!"There is only one way...it is THE WAY." -Photo Jesus  "Can't you count to one??"  Thanks for stopping by and showing your support!  |
| THE PROMPT: "Describe your favorite fairy tale, myth or legend from your childhood. Discuss why it’s your favorite." Good evening everyone...wow, talk about a mind-boggling prompt. I'm having a hard time reconciling with the days of my youth and this one, and I ain't all that old! It seems the farther you get in real life, the more disconnected you become from fairy tales and myths and legends. The more you live and experience things, the more you find yourself saying, "But that's not how it goes in the movies!" or, "This woulda never happpened to Snow White or Cinderella!" But I suppose the real beauty and magic happen when, well, events occur that do have that "storybook ending"...perhaps some are more optimistic than others that these things do happen. Maybe I've seen enough to not believe in them, and that's ok too. I mean, Disney never made a story about a Princess Charming...ok, I'm setting the bar low there, I know. Moving on... Let's throw this grenade out there. I'm a cynical romantic. I've not led by any means a storybook life. I've had more of a True Confessions sort of existence. One day, I'm the cat havin' roses sent to you at work...and the next night when we're out at a bar and I bump into an ex I'm still friends with (yes, that can happen, and no, it doesn't have to include sex), you ask me a question about her that has no right answer, ("Do you think she's prettier than me?") and a nice night ends early (true story, brah). I'm almost 37 and never really bothered to be as settled down as I am now. Never married, no kids of my own (that I know of), none of it. And I've had chances, but never really pulled the trigger on 'em for one reason or another. So what I'm trying to say (in order to satisfy the prompt), is that tales like Beauty And The Beast and Cinderella and a lot of those other Disneyfied fairy tales resonate with me a little because they end in marriage and "happily ever after", even if "happily ever after" isn't always what it's cracked up to be. I'm not even saying I want to be married or anything like that...to me, it's all in due time. And being married doesn't automaically come with "happily ever after", nor do two people have to be married in order to experience that either. That said, the topic of marriage has come up once in awhile, as it should when you're with the same person for 3.5 years. She's divorced and on her way to 41, and like I said, I'll be 37 a few days after. She's done the big wedding with all the fancy shit and the ceremony and the party and the whole shootin' match. So she doesn't need to do all that again. And at this point in my life, I've been to and been in enough weddings to know that I don't know if I want to go through all that stuff, personally. So we decided, if and when it's time, we'll head to Florida, invite a handful of the closest friends and family, and have a small little ceremony on the beach. When we get back home, we'll have a reception for everyone else (I've been a part of the "destination wedding" thing too, and man, I would not want our friends and family to have to worry about all that that entails, let alone having to be on everyone else invited to make sure they got the hotel and the travel arrangements and all the other bs involved) who couldn't come down. That, my friends, will be how my fairy tale wedding goes down. BONUS TO THE PROMPT!! I don't know why this didn't occur to me earlier when I was struggling with the prompt! I could've just made an entire entry out of the next part of my typings you're about to read, but luckily I came up with this little bonus section. I make no apologies of my love for indie hip-hop legends Atmosphere. They released an album a few years back, and if you bought the deluxe edition, the cd came bound in a cloth booklet that contained an illustrated childrens' story. It's a beautiful little tale about a shrinking boy lost in a sea of people, trying to find his way among the crowd, and the princess he admired. She was unlike any other princess, in that she needed special glasses just to help her see others beyond her own negative self-image. One day, some of the boys stole her magic glasses. The boy seized the opportunity to address the princess, out of fear of her not being able to notice him. He asked her if he could be his "Seeing-Eye Boy". The moral to the story (and the title of the album) is "When Life Gives You Lemons, You Paint That Shit Gold." And I believe this. You have to make the most of any opportunity at any given time, no matter what kinds of adversity you're up against. I think it's a great lesson to teach anyone (and probably reason #468 why I don't have kids). MUSICAL BREAK!! This is a beautifully played, nearly acoustic, spare-sounding track off of "When Life Gives You Lemons...", which I think anybody who's struggling in this economy can relate to in some way. The lyrics explain a lot of realities for the 99%'ers. I can definitely identify with it. VITAL STATS:  I notice I'm a lot more palatable to be around at work when my boss isn't there...that goes for customers and coworkers. I spend less time thinking about how I'm gonna make her happy or what she's going to berate me for and more time accomplishing things or just not letting stupid people bother me as much. Even if I didn't accomplish much today...We had a visit from the county's Weights And Measures Bureau. Typically they come twice a year to verify our pricing. The laws in this county are so effed up and seemingly unlike the laws across the rest of the county (to my awareness). The law states that if an item is priced (for example) at $1.99, and the customer is charge $2.29, the customer is entitled to the difference plus ten times the difference, up to $10 (and believe me, it's a big issue with me because too many people work the system just to make a few extra bucks). So we had an audit today, and we passed. We scored a 99% (passing is 98.5...yes, 98.5), but where the county gets you is if an item doesn't have a price tag on the shelf. And for some reason, we took a big hit there. I won't say how much, but it was more than a lot of other stores were reporting. And that was after spending my morning scurrying around, making tags for new products and other tags I saw missing all over the place. And then I came here, and that's my day, folks. Off to other normal-people stuff...peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "What are two skills you would love to have and why." Good afternoon folks...I woke up earlier than expected so I came to kill a couple minutes before I start my work week. And since skills are an impressive trait to help one get themself through this crazy world, here's what I'd enjoy... 1) I've probably mentioned this before, but I'd love to learn how to play the guitar. Why? Because it's a known fact that women love men who can play an instrument. Let's ignore the fact that I'm poetically inclined or care about making music. It's about the attention, and slingin' an axe on stage is one hell of a way to get it. I'd probably be a decent, if not creative, guitar player, but let's face it...I tried learning it a couple of times, and I just lack the patience for it. I have a tendancy to expect to know everything right away. Sadly, I know that this isn't always the case. 2) But what skill I'd really like to have is setting up the coffee maker. We got a new one a few months ago, with a timer and everything, so I don't have to fuck around in the morning when I'm 3/4ths asleep, trying to make coffee. But the problem with this unit is that if you don't have everything properly aligned, you don't get coffee. You get water all over the kitchen counter. Trust me; that is fact. The couple of times I've set it up the night before, that's the mess I've woken up to, and it's ultimately worse than messin' around tryin' to make it in the morning. Luckily, there's another person in the house who knows how this dreaded machine works, and can properly utilize it so that we can have fresh, hot coffee at the proper time necessary. The point to this is that I can do a lot of things in life, and do them well, but the easiest things can also be the most difficult to others. MUSICAL BREAK!! This wouldn't be such a bad skill to have either. VITAL STATS:  Lost in the shuffle of yesterday's Best Buy craziness, I had a lot of time to explore the store. I messed around with an iPhone (hey, I've got seven months before my contract is up...it can't hurt to start lookin'). And I absolutely hate it. The demo phone that was on display (and actually working!) wasn't very responsive to my fatass fingers. Trying to type was a lovely attempt at failing miserable. On the other hand, I also played with an iPad, and while I'm hopefully not going to be in the market for one of them joints anytime soon, I could see myself getting along with one very nicely...so long as I have something else (like my laptop) to fall back on. While I love having time off from work, it seems like every time I have time off I come back and something's always different or amiss. Today will be no exception as I'm hearing that my boss is out again for a week with some injury. Yet I type this while sitting in my heated massage chair, getting a lower back rub because my back's been super-tight the last few days, and I have no idea why, because I'm pretty lazy.And with that, I'mma get outta here and try to motivate myself to actually want to go to work. Yup, there's no way outta bein' there today, and it's hard enough to find motivation when you've had a few days off and an entire morning's worth of time already wasted. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Name three advantages that kids born these days have over older generations. Then, name three advantages that older generations have over kids born these days." Good evening everyone! Interesting prompt today...I'm sure everyone's got a lot of opinions regarding the generational debate. Allow me to share my take. "Name three advantages that kids born these days have over older generations."  Let's state the obvious one right off the bat, shall we? I'm sure everyone else has pulled this card...technology. Kids these days are practically born with smartphones and earbuds. I didn't see a computer in my school until I was in 4th grade. And it was this monstrous thing that went by the name "Apple 2e". It had the black screen with the green font, used floppy discs that were square, flat and fairly large. And there was no internet, nor was there a computer network. So transferring files from computer to computer meant saving your document to a floppy and changing machines. These computers didn't even have a desktop, so each time you wanted to run a program, you had to have that program's diskette. Today? Everything you need is already on your laptop for the most part, with one-click access. The efficiency allows kids these days to be more productive.And that's just one example of technology. I could go on about cars, cell phones, tv's, etc... but you get the point. Choice. Kids today have more choices and options than people did back in the day. All you need to do is go to the big super mega grocery mini-mall in your neighborhood. When I was a kid, grocery stores were just that...a place to buy groceries. They were small, there were more of them, and they really seemed fit to serve the immediate neighborhood they were in. Then the eighties and nineties happened, and everything had to get bigger, and everything had to come in different flavors, scents, varieties or sizes, so grocery stores got bigger. They closed the smaller ones down, expanded the aisles, and were made to serve almost the entire city.I often cite toothpaste as an example. It only came in mint or cinnamon flavor when I was a kid. It was a paste, not a gel. It came in a tube, and that was it. And there were maybe six brands to choose from. Now, there's multiple flavors for each different type of toothpaste each brand carries. Gels, pastes, gel/paste hybrids, whiteners, all sorts of crap. And it's like that for rice, laundry detergent, gum, soda, deodorant, you name it. There's just so many more options for almost every consumable product these days. And my final thought about this generation? It's no different than the ones before them in this respect, but it's still an advantage. Every generation that comes around will have the chance to learn from the mistakes of the generations before them. And with that, they'll be able to hopefully leave the world a better place than the one they inherited.Name three advantages that older generations have over kids born these days. Older generations can write proper letters. That's not to say future generations will be dumber, but the use of proper grammar and spelling has really taken a slide. This I assume is primarily in the rise of texting, where you try to jam as many thoughts into a box of 140 characters. I've made this rant before, but I'd seriously like to beat the person who invented "LOL" and subsequently made it ok for intelligent individuals to shorten every phrase into an abbreviation. WTF! Family members spent a lot more time together, because a lot of the time, that's all they had was each other. There was maybe one tv in the house, and it maybe got more than five channels. They all sat at the dinner table and conversed. They did more outside of the home together also, probably because there weren't as many opportunities for kids outside of the home as there are today. More parents stayed together longer also, which generally had a more positive effect. I'm not saying that this is limited to any particular generation, or that it won't happen in the future, but I think kids are handed things a lot more these days than we ever had handed to us. We were taught how to work for things and how to earn things. Through generations before us, some who struggled mightily, we learned perseverance. The values my parents and grandparents learned through growing up as a direct or indirect result of The Great Depression will only last for so long until it's replaced by those who grew up with parents who've said, "We struggled growing up so that you wouldn't have to". And this is solely my opinion, but I believe a lot of kids have a bigger sense of entitlement when it comes to a lot of things. And that has a lot to do with what they see on tv and in magazines and online. Kids are getting more things faster and younger, and more kids see that and want more, and it's a race for the newest, coolest "it" thing to have. For my generation, it was sneakers. Now, it's cell phones, laptops and tablets, and so much more.MUSICAL BREAK!! You'll understand why I'm going with this band shortly. This is from my favorite album of theirs. VITAL STATS:  So, we made a trip to Consumer's Beverages today to take back some bottles. And along the way I may have made a life-altering discovery. After the returns were taken care of, I wanted to look around a little. And I found a flavorful little number by Lagunitas, called Wilco Tango Foxtrot  . I had never even heard of this! It was reminiscent of my search for Pearl Jam Faithfull Ale...only much cheaper. The label reads "A Malty, Robust, Jobless Recovery Ale"  . And the "W" in Wilco, "T" in Tango, and "F" in Foxtrot on the label all match up on the left side, so it reads WTF going down. Of course, the day went downhill from there. justjessica1 had to schedule an emergency chiropractor appointment that really wasn't near anywhere else on the itinerary, so we got that in after we went to Best Buy. The face on her phone started coming unglued a few weeks ago, and it was only five weeks old. Best Buy totally screwed her. They sent the phone out, sent back a refurbished phone, and never bothered to call her to tell her it was in. And this all happened over a few weeks (they did manage to give her a loaner phone to use). But what they don't tell you is if they have to send you a refurb, it voids your manufacturer's warranty because it's not your original phone. She got a pretty lousy runaround from the customer service rep there today as well...when we got in the car she said "I'm gonna be writin' some letters (sentence edited to make it sound more modern) sendin' some emails when I get home. She maintains that her phone was defective and it should either have been fixed or replaced with a brand new phone. I still think that had she not dropped it in Wegmans the day before, that'd be one hour of my day today I could've killed more constructively.  Speaking of Wegmans, we shop there pretty regularly. But because of that emergency chiro appointment, I figured I'd save time and just drop her off while I did the grocery shopping. Big mistake. See, I'm familiar with one Wegmans...and the one by her doctor's office is laid out very differently than the ones by our house. A trip to get five or six items would've maybe taken 10 minutes. This time? A lot longer.Ok folks, I've said enough for one day. I'm gonna enjoy my Wilco beverage and read a little bit, and see what happens from there. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "It's that time of week to show you've been paying attention. Find something, everyone, throw something in. Find someone else's blog entry from the last week and discuss it in your own blog. Tell us why someone's entry resonated with you." Good evening everyone...it's that time of the week where I share my thoughts about one of you and your entries of the week. And there's been no shortage of joy, humor, bitterness or thoughtfulness in your words this week, players. And I read 'em all. With so many great times had while doing that, it was actually pretty easy to pick out an entry I can say will stay with me long enough to deem it worthy of "my favorite" this week. With the way it's written, it'd be hard for someone like me not to like it. The self-reflection, the intent, the rampant sarcasm...give it up for Bonnie14222 and her entry, "Invalid Entry"  . The 716 rivals everyone for WDC supremacy! Godd week though, bloggers. Been a fun go at the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" so far.MUSICAL BREAK!! Yesterday was a fantastic musical event that happens every year, called "Record Store Day" (click here for more info: http://www.recordstoreday.com/Home). Artists put out limited-edition releases that are only available at select independent record shops (remember those?) or through their own websites. I just purchased this song (and two more) on a 10" vinyl record from one of my favorite groups, and I've gotta say, it's a great song for the everyday, average person tryin' to get through their life. It also harkens back to a little bit of their earlier days, while nodding at the instrumentation they've been using on their newer albums. OK, that's not cool, Warner. I paid for it. VITAL STATS:  Great time at 9am this morning with my boy DMFM at the old stompin' grounds, http://louiestexasredhots.com/. Next time I'mma hafta bring a bigger net for all the catchin' up...great to see you again, brother. Everything will be ok. In honor of today's prompt, let's see who's really payin' some attention. Here's the blog comment of the week, also provided by Bonnie14222 , on what might be one of the most ridiculous entries I've committed to the internet, "This one's about saving humanity one beer at a time." :"Fivesixer - you are all lucky I erase what I write when jacked on the pain pills. I believe I bought Earl a car, volunteered Brother to lead the Buffalo Philharmonic symphony, proposed to Cindy and got two tickets to paradise for you and me. Vipulya and Big Bad are now listed as my emergency contact and health care proxy. Prosperous could be getting weekly pizza and chocolate deliveries, Sunny is now enrolled in belly dancing class with me and Thundersbeard ..well please disregard those photos you may be receiving (HAHAHAHA)"  After that said entry was written, people were saying things like "Sequel! Where's the sequel?" Well, I can't just take another two hours of my life to do that. But I will tell you the story of my broken thumb.Several years ago, after graduating high school and moving out to Depew, I met a bunch of guys through the local Boys & Girls' Club http://www.bgca.org/Pages/index.aspx. We'd get together after the club closed or on weekends at the park across the street and play football. There we were, 10 or 12 dirty, sweaty dudes. There was a Baptist church across from the park as well, and a house off a side street next to the church. And lo and behold, a bunch of girls come out of this house and are watching us play football. They're all like "Hey boys!" and doing things teenage girls do for teenage boys' attention. They invited us to their "youth group" thing. And being dumb boys showered with attention by cute girls, we went to their next meeting. And it was totally churchy. Prayers, bible studies, the whole nine. And we went for the chicks. One day, they gave us all bibles. Big, thick, paperback NKJ editions. After the meeting, us guys headed over to the Boys' Club (as we called it) and hung out. It was a cold December night I think, and I was underdressed for the weather. When I left, I was walking down the street when one of my other friends started running at me with his bible. He jumped and swung with mock intent to hit me, and I raised my non-bible-carrying hand (which also happened to be the hand I write with) to defend myself. And of course, accidents happen. He managed to connect hard with the binding of the Good Book on the top of my thumb. The walk home from there was a pretty painful 10 minutes. I was bleeding pretty bad under the nail, and by the next morning it had swelled up pretty good. I went to the hospital, and sure enough it was broken...the blunt trauma caused the bone to chip at the base of the thumb. I wore a cast for a month from my hand to just below my elbow. A lime green one, at that. To this day, I blame the girls. I dated a couple. My best friend from high school married one. And I just told a really lame story. Alright, enough about me. Let's see what you cats are up to. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "In the tradition of bloggers everywhere, tell us all about your day, in great detail, even the mundane stuff, but especially the good stuff, the parts of your day that inspired you, that motivated you, that showed you the joy in your life. Tell us how your day was, whether you laughed or whether you cried. You know, blog." What's up y'all? So, I'm glad I showed up for work today. Well, I didn't really have a choice since I was the only member of management on the schedule today, so I kinda had to be there. And regardless of anything else that's happened today or will happen later on (which I can safely assure you that it won't be anything exciting), today will be remembered for one striking image that will live on in infamy through the magic of Facebook. In the Depends aisle at work, I found an empty bottle of Poland Spring water. With a used syringe next to it. On the shelf. In plain sight. And what's wrong with me and this world when my first instinct is to turn around, grab my phone out of the office, take a picture of it, send it to my boss, and immediately post it on Facebook? Let's see if this works: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3457796121759&set=a.3457796081758.2134917... Then and only then did I grab a pair of gloves and transport the needle to the Sharps container in the pharmacy and the empty bottle to the now-overflowing crate of the empty packages from stolen goods. Yup, it's been that kind of day. But let's talk about the good stuff, because a day's only supposed to get better after that, right? (*Mimics the sounds of crickets, owls, and a lone car travelling down a deserted highway*) At least my lunch order didn't get messed up today like it did last Saturday. Aces for that. Let's see...what else? I didn't get robbed or shot. I got my work done, but it's half-assed because I kept getting called away from it over and over again. And if I hadn't been so inclined to check out our "workflow assistant" online, I would not have known that today was a "25%-off employee discount day"...and I really wasn't going to check it, but did on a whim. This tool was designed to eliminate a lot of emails and provide us with more direction, but it's pretty much a waste of time and effort because the direction it provides is minimal, at best. Ironically, this program is called "Compass". We still get emails, repetitive ones at that, and there's little direction involved. Let's add this to the growing list I like to call "Ways Multi-Million Dollar Companies Still Fuck Things Up". MUSICAL BREAK!! I've probably posted this song a million times, but one more time can't hurt, and rereading what I wrote up there kinda got it stuck in my head. Here's hoping it gets stuck in yours too. And for the right price, I'll bust this jam out at karaoke. Nothing feels better than seeing a crowded bar clap and sing along when you're crooning this song to the fullest. Ironically, the lead singer died just before this album came out. He lost his life due to the needle. VITAL STATS:  I've got the house to myself for the evening, so it's "Bachelor Night"...frozen pizza, some beverages, and loud music are all in store. See, I told ya. Nothing exciting today.Alright folks, my ship's about to sail for the night. Please direct your comments down below wherever you come across this, and I'll respond in a timely fashion. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!  |
| THE PROMPT: "If you could have one super power to help save the world what would it be? Now, the proviso is it has to be a silly super power and your mileage may vary on the facet of the world you are saving." Good evening friends...it's time for the "Fun Friday" prompt, and this can get ridiculous pretty quick. This prompt is a lot tougher than it looks...especially since I've just looked at it now for the first time and haven't given myself the benefit of mulling it over for the course of the day. So let's see...I'm saving the world. But what facet of the world? Can it be like a video game? I'd need a nemesis. So many questions to answer before I can even get to a prompt. OK, I think I can do this. Where I come from, it's a relatively quiet farm town. One of those sleepy little towns that's sorta centered around one long-standing factory/service, and most either work there or farm, while the rest commute an hour or more to make an honest buck. Only in my little town, the main industry happens to be the brewin' of beer. Excellent choice of an occupation, if I may say so myself. And with all of the greenspace in the area, giant corporations are tryin' ta rush in an' snap up land an' ruin our town's way of life with big buildin's, fancy cars, loose women and Starbucks everywhere. The townfolk are gettin' worried...prices are goin' up, land is diminishin', an' the whores are havin' illegitimate children. This is where I come in. I'm the mayor 'round here. But it's a low-payin' position 'cuz of our population. So I'm also a fireman, a judge, an' once in awhile I cut hair on the side. But really, I'm just a foreman at the brewery, Custerfluck Lager, where the ol' advertisin' jingle went: "Don't just have a drink...Make it a Custerfluck!" One day I was on my lunch break an' I went over to the crick to catch me some dinner. Maw an' the little girls love it when I come home with a few freshly gutted trout to fry up. So there I was, mindin' my business, when I felt a large tug on my pole. I gave 'er a few good yanks, an' then what seemed like an explosion on the surface of the water happened. 'Bout ten feet behind me, I heard a thud, an' a groan. Then a voice said, "Hey man, WTF??" I looked back, and lordy me on my Gran-poppy's grave. It was the largest trout I'd ever seen! Oh yeah, the sumbitch could talk too. So I said, "Oh my gawd! Son, you're one big talkin' fish!" An' he said, "Yeah, now get this damn hook outta my lip. I gotta tell ya somethin', and ya ain't gonna like it." "What's your name, big talkin' fish?" I asked 'em. "THE HOOK!!" he shouted, an' I was like, "Duh!" "Now set me back in the water," he went on, "and listen to me. Listen real good." With my feet up on the banks, he said, "There's a problem. Down the stream, there's a new company called Totagoodnime. They started as a local brewery based upstate, and were bought out by The BigRichGuys.com distributors, who intend to make their beer sell nationwide." I was shocked! "Get outta here, Mr. Hook!" I said to that big talkin' fish. "But Custerfluck is this town! It's our beer! We can't have no competition 'round here!" The fish shot up out of the water and got eye-level with me. He hovered, and spit a little when he snapped, "Look! It's not about competition. Their beer's tasty, sure. But the way they're makin' it, well, it's dumpin' toxic chemicals into this here crick." "No way!" Hook looked at me and said, "Damn, fool. You've been talkin' to a fish for five minutes now. You tell me what ain't right!" I was all like, "Duh!" and asked him what I should do. He was like, "You need to catch three fish out of this spot. Not one. Not two. Not more. Three will be sufficient. You need to gut them. Fry them, but don't overcook them." He was very specific and demandin' for a big talkin' fish. I was a lil' intimidated by the 'em. "So then what happens?" He had me sucked in now. "Due to the chemical hazards in this water, you'll achieve a superhero-like power. We haven't figured out what it is yet; it's too new." I was lookin' at 'em in awe. He cautioned, "But let no one else eat these fish. There are too many unknowns still in this water." "But why me, Mr. Hook?" I was curious and all; I was only killin' time on my break. "You've been chosen because of your fishing acumen, your brewery connections, and your blood alcohol content is consistently just under .05 on a daily basis." I still didn't understand him, but I nodded and said, "Cool. Thanks!" "One more thing,..." he added. "The fish you catch must have a red stripe along its fins." I gave him the thumbs up, and away he swam. Nervous an' excited, I ran back into the brewery to tell my boss my findings. He chuckled an' told me to get back to work. I told him I couldn't...there'd, uhhh, been an emergency, uhhh, back home. I was gon' need the rest of the day off. Man, his eyes coulda knocked the yella off mah country teeth if I made eye contact with him, but he agreed. I hopped in mah truck an' sped home to tell the missus what was goin' on, an' within twenty minutes mah pole was back in the water. An' I sat there. An' I sat there. An' then, I done sat me there somemore. I was gettin' a little tired, so I leaned back a lil' an' began to doze. That is, 'til I felt a yank on my pole. I jerked it, an' up shot me one uh 'em red-stripe fishies. I threw it in my cooler an' felt a lil' excited. An' then another. An' ten minutes later, another, only it didn't have that dang red stripe. Saved it anyway though, in case I still had to make some dinner. Caught a few actually, but not a third. After awhile, I set my rod down to stretch my legs. I rolled up my pants a little an' waded in the crick. It felt good...it was hot an' I needed a lil refreshin'. An' then I saw it, swimmin' right around me. A juicy lil' fishy with a fat red stripe. I didn't even think; I just shot my hand into that water an' snagged 'em with mah bare hand. I threw 'em in mah bucket, an' headed for home. I did mah deed...fried 'em up real nice, an' boy was they some tasty lil' fishies. After fryin' up the rest for the ladies of the house, I had a few beers an' decided it was time to retire for the evenin'. Sos I wake up the in the mornin' and grab a Custerfluck...the boss says it's ok to have one or two before your shift an' on lunch, so long as yer not stumblin' around. Plus I didn't feel quite right...maybe it was just' my nerves. I was wondrin' 'bout this "superpower" thang. I tossed the cap on the counter, an' I'll be damned if the sumbitchin' thang didn't jus' bounce off the counter an' onto the floor like always. No. It made a large clangin' sound an' landed square in the trash. Thought it was a lil' weird, but ok. Read mah mornin' paper an' got ready fer work. I took mah socks off and tossed 'em in the laundry basket, an' the strangest thing happened. The whole damn basket of clothes fell through the floor an' crashed into the basement. "Holy snickerdoodles," I thought to mahself, "this must be it! I never get mah socks in the basket!" The missus came flyin' down from upstairs, more pissed than a wildcat with a broken claw. "You need to fix this!" she screamed, but I said, "Honey, listen...I need to get mah ass movin'...not now, umkay? I got this, uhhh, thang, an' I'm fixin' to harness it so I can take out them bad guys. Custerfluck is the lifeblood of this here town. It's our world! It's all we know! An' I gotsa go an' save it from those Totagoodnime bastards!" She rolled her eyes an' went back to watchin' Jerry Springer. Well, I hopped in mah truck an' got to the brewery in record fashion. I marched mah ass into mah bosses' office and said, "Look man, this ain't no joke. We gotta take out them bastards at Totagoodnime, an' I gotta plan fer it. We'll teach them a lesson". Mah boss looked at me all screw-faced. He was like, "Boy, yer crazy...get on in there an' run your line before I..." I had to cut him off..."Wait, sir, watch this..." I grabbed me a bottle of Custerfluck from his shelf, popped the cap and knocked 'er back. I said, "I'm fixin' to fling this here cap across the other side of this room. I'mma bounce it off the walls of that there corner, an' it's gonna bounce back an' slice an inch off that daily sales report you're holdin' in your very hand. You watch." I wound up like one of them there ninjas, an' before that man could utter any protestin' words, mah beer cap was doin' its thing, whizzin' around the room 'til it'd shorn off an inch of mah boss' paperwork. "Oh my lawd!" he exclaimed. "You literally cut right through the costs on this report with that there whippin'! I smell a promotion for you soon!" I smiled and said, "Yup. Jus' like I called it. You in with me on this now?" He didn't flinch when he said, "Yes, son. What I gotta do?" I smiled again and said, "Grab two cases of Custerfluck's Light, and come with me. You drive...an' I'll take them sumbitches down." I tossed him my keys, not realizin' that mah accuracy an' mah strength were mah new "superhero powers" that Mr. Hook spoke of, an' mah boss fell back into his seat with a key stickin' through his hand. As he screamed in obvious pain, mah adrenaline took over. "Not now, ya damn coward! We gotta save this town from them scumbags! Giddy up!" After a quick exhale, mah boss was at my side, luggin' two cases of Custerfluck's Light over to mah truck. He was all like, "Why Custerfluck Light?" an' I said, "Sir, with all due respect, you an' I both know it tastes like watered-down horse piss. If we're gonna bomb them sunsabitches, we're gon' do it wit' the lousy shit." An' he jus' nodded. We drove down a few miles to Totagoodnime's headquarters. I told mah boss to leave the engine runnin' while I had a few words wit' the guy in charge. I stormed past the receptionist (a fine lookin' lady, I must say, for bein' bucktoothed and a lil' too motherly in the hips) whiles I was carryin' a case of Custerfluck Light an' kicked open the manager's office as if I was Chuck Norris on like a sugar high. He jumped while a scantily-clad lady of the night took cover 'hind him an' crouched down like I wasn't tryin'a see her there. "What can I do for you, country boy?" he asked. I said, "Now listen here, sir. I'm the mayor of this town." I set my case of Custerfluck Light down carefull, as not to detonate it like them dynamite sticks they been usin' to blow things up an' level the land for them new highrises goin' up all over the place. "This town...it belongs to all the good people here. We're sicka all you people comin' in with yer fancy cars an' your big companies an' your dirty whores. An' we know what yer doin' to our crick. As mayor, I demand you to cease and decist with yer activities. An' I mean it now!" The man got all upright an' corporatey in his voice. He was like, "Now you listen here, hillbilly. I own this land, and pretty soon, I'm going to own this whole town. And you're going to work under me when I take over the brewery that makes that beer you've got with you. Now turn around and leave, before I have you escorted out." An' I was like, "Naw man, you don't get it. I'll just hafta show you the hard way." An' I opened up a beer and flung the cap above his head. Only it kinda fluttered an' landed gently next to his afternoon entertainment. I was all like, "Man, WTF with these "superpowers", but then it dawned on me...I looked at the beer still in that bottle, an' I chugged it down like a drunken sailor, and then whipped the bottle behind me. It exploded like a grenade thingey, blowin' his office door off its hinges. Quite satisfied, I grabbed another outta that case, chugged it like it was the antidote, an' slung it again just over his head. It took a few hairs off his sculpted, pretty boy hair. Before he could even realize what just happened, I chucked the empty bottle over his head at the wall behind 'em, and it blew a two foot hole in it. He grabbed his phone to call security, but I whipped at cap at the handset cord, slicing it from the connection. "What is wrong with you?" he asked. "Are you some sort of freak?" I looked him dead in the eye and said, "No sir...I'm jus' savin' mah town from the scumbags like you." Just then, mah boss staggered in. "Just wanted to check on ya, son", he said, and handed me a blood-covered empty bottle from his case. Fer good measure, I launched that sumbitch into the other corner of the room, blowin' up his pictures on the wall. His kids weren't that cute anyway. We started to hear commotion, so we high-tailed it outta dodge. "Quick," I told my boss as we hopped back in mah truck, "circle around the building! We gotta end this now!" As we drove down through the parking lots, I crawled through the back window of mah truck an' began a process I like ta call "Open beer, chug it, throw the cap like a ninja star, an' take out the resta what's left with the bottle". We circled that buildin' twice, an' after knockin' back almost two cases of beer, I had one more plan for what was left of the buildin'. There was still one corner of the buildin' still standin'. We had 'bout six beers left. I told mah boss to pull up to that corner an' start doin' some donuts wit' mah truck in the lot. He obliged. I steadied the case of beer in my hands, an' when he got up to a good speed, I waited until we got to the proper angle, and I started uncappin' the beers. I chugged a few, an' at one pass I zingered a few caps. I downed the rest, and by the next pass I gave the case with the rest of the empties a good shove. It took off outta the back of mah truck like I shot it from a gun, son. It hit the bottom corner of that buildin', an' it went up like one of them big mushroom clouds like you see on the tv when they talkin' 'bout nuclear war on the news. An' then we got the hell outta dodge. Life in town shortly returned back to normal. Mah boss gave me a week's vacation from the brewery to thank me fo' mah efforts in savin' the company from the competition. He got his hand fixed up good, too, though he says he'll neva play the piana like he usedta. He was nevah that good anyway. The big ol' corporations movin' in took notice too...they started pullin' outta town. Seemed like they didn't want no negative publicity fer tryin' to ruin a small town an' its values. They took their greed, their fancy stuffs, and their whores with them. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say. And me? Well, I used that week off to fish, an' boy I'll tell you what...I caught me some real nice trout that week. Enough to feed my family fer quite awhile. An' on those banks one day, I was greeted by a nice lil' guest. Mr. Hook popped up to thank me. "You did a great and noble thing for your community. We residents of the crick applaud and thank you, Mayor." I was beamin' with pride. "You're welcome, Mr. Hook. And thank you for all that you've done ta help me help everyone else. You're the real hero!" I noticed the big ol' talkin' fish's voice had been a lil' quieter, and raspy. He nodded his fish face and said, "Now that Totagoodnime is gone, the crick's clearing up. These may be my last words, my friend, so I want to thank you." I was a little worried. "Does this mean the end of my superpowers too, Mr. Hook?" His fish face dropped. "Yeah, probably. besides, some of my friends are gettin' a little pissed that you're reachin' into the crick and takin' their friends. That's probably going to end as the lake clears." His voice cleared a little and he thanked me one last time. "Oh, one more thing, by the way..." he said. "Anything, Mr. Hook!" I responded, gratefully. "My name's not Hook," he said. "It's Claude." An' with that, he swam away to the place where chemically tainted fishies become another animal's meal in the crick. MUSICAL BREAK!! Whew. Man, that's two hours of my life spent writing that I'll never get back. But if anyone ever decides to flesh it out a little more and make a movie out of it, this song will play in the movie's climactic scene. VITAL STATS: Not checking the prompt cuz I was playing manager on the sales floor today instead of taking breaks and checking personal emails on my Blackberry, I was all prepared for a regular "Fun Friday" entry, because today was actually notable. Notable in that, like most companies that sell things, ours sells a lot more items online than we can carry in stores. Or, should I say, more than our stores should carry. It started out with an email my boss got stating that a customer has ordered a $139 vaccuum-powered penis enlarger that will be sent to the store for the customer's pick-up. WHUUUUUTTT? And basically, all our internet at work lets us see is Walgreens.com, but we found the item. And much to our chagrin, we found oh-so-much more. As in over 300 products not sold in stores but are available for online purchasing. And yes, we spent way too much time exploring this today. Jackmatic is now my favorite word of all-time. I'm officially authorizing you to view something other than this page so you can take your time and investigate this link while being left to your own devices. http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/vibrators-and-adult-toys/ID=360605-tier2general...I can't even take this anymore tonight, folks. Making up a story on a whim of a prompt when I was all set to talk about sex toys has all but sapped my energy. I must eat something and shower and catch up on you fine-ass people. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Transportation. What is your preferred mode of getting around and what are your thoughts about the nature of mobility today and tomorrow?" (opinion piece) What's up everybody? Ahhh, it's a nice, sunny day out. Not quite warm enough yet for my liking, but it'll do. It's the perfect day for the ever-popular "opinion" portion of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . Are you ready? Let's have at it.My preferred mode of getting around? Depends on where I live. When I was at 542, it was my legs. Everything I could possibly need was within a 15-20 minute traipse around the village in any direction. This was especially beneficial when I had last lost my job and had to decide whether to stay in my apartment and walk everywhere or live out of my car. Even though it cost more per month to live in the apartment, the choice was still obvious...the car had to go. Although it was a bit of a bitch to get to the grocery store during the Buffalo winter, it was still better than having to stop for gas. Too bad they didn't make snow tires for Doc Martens .But now that I'm living somewhere else, things are still close but not worth walking to. We're currently sharing one vehicle that is more than serviceable, but we'll be in the market to upgrade later this year, I believe. I myself would prefer some type of truck or SUV, and while I'll have some input, I won't be making the final say on this decision. Anyone who's been reading this regularly since I've been a blog challenge participant may have an understanding of my feelings regarding transportation today. It's all in this entry from a few months back... "This one's about what we should've had years ago." . In summary, WHERE THE HELL ARE OUR FLYING CARS?? Weren't we lead to believe that by now this was supposed to be our reality? Shouldn't someone's head in Detroit or NASA be rolling for this? Why the hell aren't I zipping through the atmosphere in a mini-UFO lookin' thing that packs up into a suitcase when I've reached my destination. I know some of you out there want to get technical..."Well, you see, sir, the laws of mass and physics dictate that, well, ..." Bullshit! Save your laws and your mass and your hoity-toity science geek-speak. We were lied to! We were misled! This is an outrage of epic proportions. This isn't "Honey, there's no such thing as Santa Claus", or "I would've gotten you a puppy but you didn't eat your veggies" or "That's ok dear, it happens to every guy". No. This is messing with people's futures, dammit, and I want some answers! Maw-fuggin' Jetsons...biggest, and I mean BIGGEST disappointment in a childhood full of them. And you expect me to talk about the future of mobility? When thirty years ago if you'd asked me I'd have told you "flying cars"? Star Trek, you're no effin' better! Screw jet-packs that you wear on your back and fly around with...I want that beam thing. You'll have to excuse me for not being a Trekkie (or congratulate me, one of the two), but everyone's familiar with the phrase "Beam me up, Scotty" and some weird-lookin' dudes get into some giant glowing lasery tube, and in a second they're somewhere completely different. Where the hell is my beam-me-up pad (or is it a pod?)? Again, misled. You want my opinion? You really want my opinion? Be careful what you wish for... people in the 60's and 70's took too many freakin' drugs and thought they could write tv shows for impressionable young minds. These hippies and radicals promoted so many wrong descriptions of the future that these said impressionable young minds could dream about, and hope and know that someday, these dreams would come to fruition. But you know what? I've not heard of any (American, Japanese, Chinese, Russian, or European) automaker make a peep about flying cars (and I wouldn't even know the logistics that would go into "beaming somebody up", but I'm pretty sure it's the one thing Apple and Microsoft will be working on together in some way with travel agents to revolutionize the world and send stock profits to astronomical levels). This tells me it's not happening...a-n-y-t-i-m-e s-o-o-n. And that, fine readers of this life-changing nook of wonder Al Gore invented, known as "Da Interwebs", makes me sad. MUSICAL BREAK!! Time for one of the most creative videos to come out of the early 90's to relax myself from another rant. This group was recently inducted to the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame this week, and it features one of the coolest lines about transportation ever committed to song: "I'm tired of driving; it's due time that I walk about." VITAL STATS ("FROM RETAIL HELL" EDITION): Last month I noted in this space our "Active Shooter" training that took place at work. It is with great displeasure that I must inform you of another "Active Shooter" situation that occurred today.We sell our own private-label brand of soda (most of our private-label stuff now goes by the name of Nice!) in 4-packs of 12 ounce cans, held together by that plastic set of rings that you have to cut when you're done so fish don't die trying to swim through them when they wind up in the ocean. As I was retrieving a 4-pack of cola for a customer, one of the cans disengaged from its plastic holder, hit the ground, busted, and started spraying everywhere. In my panicked attempt to halt this by grabbing the rogue can, I was facialed by cola spray and a second can wound up falling to the floor, breaking and spraying as well. Try this in your driveway sometime...drop an aluminum can with a carbonated beverage in it. It sprays something fierce, and it's not a "boom and it's over" kinda situation. It's ugly. It's misty. It's sticky. And it almost doesn't stop. An actual conversation with an actual customer on the sales floor: Customer (to her cell phone): "Hold on, hold on, I'm in the store. Let me ask the guy." Me: "Can I help you?" Customer, with her phone still wedged in her ear: "Yeah, I'm lookin' for this cream. Amb...Ambu...Amba-somethin'. It's for your face." Me: "Well, you're not gonna find it in the shampoo aisle." Luckily the person working in that department was there to bail me out. On a lighter note, allow me to introduce you to Mrs. Hoffman (who prefers we call her Barbara). She a sweet, vibrant old lady who comes in all the time. During the holidays she brings us cookies, or she'll bake bread and give us some. We like customers like her.  It's come to our attention that she drives a bright yellow Volkswagon Beetle. Now, perhaps it's just a coincidence, but there's local jeweler/pawn shop called Airport Plaze Jewelers not too far from our store. The owner has these obnoxious commercials about his gold-buying/selling business, where he states something about not paying "an arm and a leg", and then dancing around with a fake arm, a fake leg, and people in chicken costumes. During the day, when you drive past his little kiosk, he has the human chickens out front, encouraging people to come in. Conspicuously parked is...yup, a yellow Volkswagon Beetle. The local conspiracy theorists in-shop have something new to chew on...what if Mrs. Hoffman's involved? That would just bring a whole new level of weird to the customer/employee relationship we have with her. And that's it for tonight, y'all. Gonna catch up on the happenings at WDC before I see what other trouble I can get into tonight. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "What things have you experienced to help build your character to what it is today?" Good day fine people...welcome to another after-school special edition of "Who Do I Think I Am??" . Grab a snack and buckle up.It's easy and obvious to see that things aren't like they used to be, in many different facets of life. I'm gonna touch on one. Classmates. Before I tear into this aspect of my life, here's a little backstory. The day before I graduated high school, I moved out of the district and into a neighboring village. This was in pre-internet, pre-cell phone times. I purposely cut ties with that era of my life, save for a few people (I'm not all that communicative anyway). It was a fresh start for me...and Facebook pretty much ruined that . I've been able to reconnect on some level with a lot of close and not-so-close friends over the last few years, and it's been fun and interesting to say the least. To have fallen off a proverbial map and then put yourself back on it is a crazy ride...and to hear people say things they've heard about me over the years that I've not been a tangible part of their daily existence, well, Mark Twain said it best: "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." True story. I once ran into someone who thought I was dead. But I digress...I harbor no ill will toward anyone who shares past connections, for I believe it is the past that makes us who we are.What is fair to say is that the landscape in institutions of learning have shifted, both in good ways and bad. You hear a word now that is becoming more prominent in many areas..."bullying". In these times of heightened social media, trends and movements gain traction much quicker, and fads come and go at what seems like an alarming rate these days when compared to how life was 10, 20 or 30 years ago. I was never a "popular" kid growing up...more notorious than popular, I'd go out on a limb to say. People knew me from what they knew of me, not because they wanted to actually get to know me. I did random dumb shit (everyone does), and I could be an asshole my share of times (I still am, but who isn't?). But here's the low-down: I was your typical nerd. I had the big glasses. I grew up ridiculously poor, which, when coupled with a terrible fashion sense, made me stand out. And when you stand out, you're picked on. Regardless of your level on sensitivity. Regardless of who you are on the inside, or your upbringing. Kids are the ultimate judge in that respect, and once they latch onto something, it's almost unshakeable. I won't say I was outright "bullied", but lines were definitely crossed against me as often as I crossed lines, if not more. People would tell me that I couldn't take a joke, unaware that the joke they were making was me. And when you're a kid, it's hard sometimes when you hear the same insults over and over to not take them personal and to not believe them. It breaks you down...the court of public opinion has a way of manifesting itself inside you, so much that no matter what you do or accomplish, people still only see you as the nerdy kid with the shitty sneakers and stupid jokes at the end of the day. And the next day, it's back to square one with the unavoidable nonsense that you can't help. And to complain about it would've been to admit weakness: "Oh, they're only picking on you! Lighten up!" Yeah, well, that doesn't make me any more good-lookin' in anyone else's eyes. That doesn't make me less-smarter than them, or make me get lesser grades so they don't pick on me because they're angry they didn't get better grades. That doesn't make me any less of a target for some other asshole's merry-making. Don't get me wrong. I had my good moments. I started working out and playing sports more often. This helped. It changed some perceptions about me. I had friends, and girlfriends, and maybe a few who people looked at as being what they consider "out of my league". And that may be true, but it's because they saw the personality behind the image, the face, the preconceptions. They could look past the easy-way mantra: "If we don't understand it, we have to tear it apart." But that wasn't my normal experience. What does this mean to me today? To have a future, you can't forget your past. I'm not afraid to be unlike everyone else. I'm not afraid to stand out, even if it means not always fitting in. I've embraced the individual within me. I had to stand up for myself for so long with few standing up next to me, and that's only made me a stronger person today. Of course, growing out of your awkwardness helps, as does maturation and a sense of humor about it. But that drive to impress anybody, while having limited resources, taught me a lot about life: Know who your friends are, trust few people, stay who you are and don't change to please anyone but yourself, and know that the ones who want to bring you down are doing it only because they're not satisfied with their own life. Thanks for playin', folks. It's been real. MUSICAL BREAK!! I don't really care for this band outside of a few songs, but I can relate to this. VITAL STATS:  Maybe it's a good time to promote this website, because it promotes a cause I support. Please take a moment to at least consider what it means. http://www.twloha.com/ They're saving people from much worse fates than I had. It's nice to have a weekday off and have access to a vehicle so I can take care of a lot of the things I've been stressing about lately. Relief has almost washed all over me. And I'm sure it's only temproary  Can someone please explain to me what the hell "cola" is? Besides that it's marketed as "Pepsi" or "Coke"? Cuz it's just not tasty at all. Pepsi came out with "Pepsi Next", like it's some sort of hybrid between Pepsi and Diet Pepsi, when really all it is is crap in a bottle. Do this: go to Walgreens this week, buy a 20oz. bottle for $.99, get your $.99 coupon off your next purchase, and turn around and buy something tastier. Like Mountain Dew, for example. Trust me...you'll thank me for this. This just in...RIP Dick Clark. You know, that guy that hosted American Bandstand? Or damn near every New Year's Eve special I could ever remember? Another rock of my childhood has crumbled and turned to dust.Alright...time to grab myself a snack of my own. Got a busy afternoon of doin' nothin' at all ahead of me. Hope it's a good day for everyone...peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "What are three things you would change about your life right now and why?" Good evening everybody...happy tax day and whatnot. Ugh. I'll let the prompt speak to my feelings about that. CHANGE #1: I wouldn't procrastinate so much. This way, I wouldn't have put off doing my taxes until the last minute, and then rushing to e-file at literally the 11th hour. But that's not just about today. There are so many other things I put off on a daily basis that if I'd just take the five minutes to do them, I wouldn't have to spend twenty minutes when I don't have a choice. Like shaving, for example. If I'd just do it every day, or every other day, or every third day, it wouldn't take me 20 minutes on my day off to trim off the excess shag with clippers, then thermal scrub, and finally get the Gillette to my grill. I'm too effin' lazy to spend five minutes maintaining...that's five more minutes of sleep, yo! (And I could've and should've written this entry at 11am when I woke up, but no...I knew I'd have time when I came home from work.  }CHANGE #2: I'd be a better employee. I'm not bad, but I'm not great. I'm versatile, helpful, friendly (most of the time) and fun. But I'm not consistent. I acknowledge that. Consistently good means a happy boss, and a happy boss means a happy workplace. Which leads to... CHANGE #3: I wish I wouldn't let things affect me. Stupid people piss me off, and there's no shortage of them trolling around this green Earth. They really bother me; I ain't playin' when I say that. I've developed a sort of skill, I like to think, that allows them to think I'm laughing with them, when inside I'm really laughing at them. I see myself honing in on that more than actually changing...at least I won't be so pissy to be around. MUSICAL BREAK!! Ahhh, the 90's. It was great to be alive back then. All we needed was some change. VITAL STATS:  I'm a damn fool. Now I gotta call the IRS tomorrow, because I filed my federal return twice. I did it this morning using Turbo Tax, but they wanted $40 to process my state return, and that's not worth it for what I'm getting back. And Turbo Tax will e-file your return for free, but charge you $40 to prepare it. So I went on NY's tax website after I got home from work, and tried their free Turbo Tax offer, which is how I learned that their $40 preparation fee included the e-file. And if you don't e-file in NY, they penalize you $25. Still not worth it. Back to NY's tax site for their other option, which is a joint Walmart/H&R Block thing. And I hate all things Walmart, but H&R's service was totally free across the board. Got halfway through and realized I was doing my federal return, which I already transmitted through Turbo Tax. And H&R won't do your state unless you do your federal through them as well. Great. What a waste of my time, both today and tomorrow.  Didn't really have time for a spell check on this...I rushed because I really wanted this entry done before midnight. I'm obsessed with having a truly "Blue Month" this time around. If you don't know what that is, look at your blog calendar on the left near the top of your blog page, WDC'ers. When you've done an entry on that given day, your blog calendar turns that day blue and provides a link to that day's entry. Good stuff. Thanks to Kåre Enga in Udon Thani  , who tipped me off to that a few years back.Eh, that it's for tonight. Too many other things to catch up on, ya hear? Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Share the most extreme case of culture shock you've ever experienced." Ohhh boy. Good evening everybody...what a prompt we have here. One could say I'm having a minor case of "culture shock" just as I sit here nearly speechless, reading and rereading the prompt. See, I'm a fairly easy-going person, and I think one of my better traits is my ability to adapt to different situations. Let's see if one of my other fine traits, the ability to improvise, can bail me outta this one. Besides maybe spending more than a few days in a hospital (which I really don't feel like going into details here about it), I think (and I know it's not that big a deal to maybe 90-96% of people, but it kinda was to me) my biggest experience with culture shock may have been being on my own for the first time. I believe I was 22 at the time, and my dad and stepmom were ready for me to no longer take up residency in their house. It wasn't a big deal for me. I had a sweet car and a steady job as an assistant manager for a sporting goods store. I may have stayed out late, but I wasn't into parties. I had a few credit cards and a cell phone, so I was used to that part of being a responsible adult. I secured a nice little one bedroom apartment in a sprawling, one-level apartment complex (because I wasn't willing to wager on whether my folks were bluffing or not when they told me it was time to go). It was the perfect size for me. I had a few friends help me move, and after not speaking to my parents for a few weeks after I'd found the place, they made amends with more than a few bags of food and other necessities . I was excited! My own place! I could have friends over and not be worried that my dad would be sitting on the couch in his underwear. If I didn't want to do the dishes for a few days, my sister would come over and do them. I didn't have to wait for four other people to shower just so I could take a cold one. The food that I bought with my money would still be there for me in the cabinets when I got home from work in the evening. And if I wanted to bring a girl over, we weren't restricted to watching tv in the living room while coloring pictures with my little brother. That in itself was a huge plus. Everything was going great as I was unpacking and getting settled. And that's when it hit me. This was it..."now kid, you're on your own". I panicked a little. I started realizing that there were so many things I didn't have. I started realizing that bills were going to add up, every month, even if I did have two jobs at the time. And my friends? There's no way they'd be here every night, even if I wanted them to be. I was the first of my friends to be on their own. And what if I didn't get along with my neighbors? What if I was too loud? What if they were too loud? (Let the scorecard indicate that I only had the cops called on me once in two years for noise. Maybe twice.) Those first few nights by myself, coming home to an empty house instead of a home bustling with four other people, was like a total shock to my system. I had a hard time adjusting to total silence. I couldn't always figure out how to keep myself occupied. My mind's not wired for down-time. I had a hard time relaxing. The coolest little feature about that place (besides the open-shelved bookcase that went from the floor to the ceiling and separated the kitchen and the living room) was the little laundry room. It was seriously long enough for a washer, dryer and a shelf, and just wide enough that if you had those appliances you could operate them by standing in front of them, but that was it. As luck would have it, I could still do laundry at my aunt's and eventually my parents', so I had no need for a washer and a dryer. I converted that little space into a den of sorts. I had an old desk like the ones second graders had, wooden with a lid that opened as a writing surface. I had an old typewriter (the internet was just coming into fashion; my parents were just getting into dial-up) and made creative use of it. I began to write a lot more when I was there. I was an adult on his own, finding his place in the world, and documenting my journey. Life was smoothing out, and I was getting settled. Good story, right? Call it a night there? Nope. I lost my job about two months later when the company I was working for went bankrupt and was bought out by another company that already had their stores in the local malls. I'd been playing phone tag with the Human Resources director for a company I was trying to get into, but we could never get in touch. And while I was still kinda hangin' out with my ex-girlfriend, I was chasing after another girl I fell really hard for. And it was the week of Christmas. Neither of those girls wanted to come to my family's Christmas Eve gathering. That was the worst feeling of lonliness I think I may have ever felt. But, I survived. It was a great learning experience. I had some failures along the way, but I had a lot of fun at that first apartment as well. From there I moved into a little place with DMFM, while two other buddies of ours moved a block over. When DMFM and his lady at the time were ready to do their thing, and my other buddy was moving across the state, I moved a block over. And when he wanted his own place, I stayed there on my own. I lived at 542 for almost 10 years I think, primarily as the singular resident. I did it because that's where I was comfortable...and I had to go through the experience in order to learn to enjoy it. Sometimes, I think I've enjoyed it a little too much. MUSICAL BREAK!! If ever someone decides to soundtrack my life, this doesn't have to be the first song on it, but I wouldn't mind if it's the first single to hit the radio from it. I love going back to this track from time to time. Lyrically it has almost nothing to do with this entry, yet it still fits as a whole. VITAL STATS:  UNNECESSARY WEATHER POST: Hell, I'll take a 80+ degree day in the middle of April! Maybe then I won't complain as much when we settle back into a 50 degree reality the rest of the week.  Felt accomplished at work today. But there's something about nice weather that makes people dress in ways that, well, for lack of a better way of putting it, they really shouldn't. Ladies, stretch pants and an ill-fitting sweater over the twenty pounds you should've lost twenty years ago will not hide the fact that you don't know how to walk in high heels, nor will your teased up, poofy 80's rocker-chick hair. Does nobody in this town own a mirror?? Ugh. Sorry to leave you all with that visual. But it's time for me to move on tonight and see what you guys are up to. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "It's that time of week to show you've been paying attention. Find something, everyone, throw something in. Find someone else's blog entry from the last week and discuss it in your own blog. Tell us why someone's entry resonated with you." Good evening folks, and welcome back to the time of the week where you read about my favorite (non-me) blog entry of the past week. Pshhh, like I have an opinion on anything, or something. So without further ado, it gives me great pleasure in announcing that my pal Joel aka Brother Nature  had one of the most creative entries by far this week with "Invalid Entry" . Between his use of embedded video (man, I've gotta learn how to do that!) and his fantastic harmonica playing, he's become a formidable talent in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . It's awesome to see how much Joel's game has improved since we first encountered him a few months back. So congrats on your accomplishment, Joel! Not that winning my blessings over a blog entry means much, but hey, a win is a win. And congrats on 2k views! I just crushed 6k myself...it's weird that 12,000 eyes have seen these words.MUSICAL BREAK!! Joel's had quite the week... video blogging, introducing us to the Blog Monkey, and even dabbling in some poetry. I figure now's the appropriate time for a Canadian band singing a song about hockey. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzzFm8UITDw VITAL STATS: This might be my shortest entry in a long time...cuz I didn't do much of anything today . Finalized plans for breakfast next week with DMFM, and that's about it.I'm gonna bolt now before I change my mind...peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joux9Oj4w3M |
| THE PROMPT: "In the tradition of bloggers everywhere, tell us all about your day, in great detail, even the mundane stuff, but especially the good stuff, the parts of your day that inspired you, that motivated you, that showed you the joy in your life. Tell us how your day was, whether you laughed or whether you cried. You know, blog." Good evening everybody! I'm gonna keep this short because, well, all I've really done today was run a drugstore, and with this being a daily challenge, all of y'all already know how my week's been. But I did learn a few things today (most of which I already knew, but had to be reminded of in some way or another), and I'd like to share them with you in my favorite fashion: emoticon bullet points! I am not a man of high fashion. I know this much is true. But I also know that, unless you're the first-round pick for a sports franchise about to make millions of dollars, a baseball cap is not the preferred method of covering one's head while wearing a suit you could easily lead a megachurch sermon in. While shopping at a drugstore. On a sweatshirt-and-shorts kinda day outside. My black fedora is now weeping, and it would've looked amazing in the place of this clown's end-all, be-all.MINI MUSICAL BREAK!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR8D2yqgQ1U&ob=av2n  One of the suckiest things in the world is not being in control of your lunch purchase. Seeing that I was the only level of management in the store, I could not take a lunch break. I really wanted Arby's, which is even worse because it's about 200 feet away from my store. An easy walk. So I sent my trusted photo tech over with a piece of paper that had written on it explicit directions for my sandwich: Roast Chicken Club, extra swiss, mayo instead of the Cravin' Sauce, and Arby's and Horsey Sauce packets. Pretty simple, right? No fries, no drink, no nothin'. Just a shaved chicken sandwich with bacon and extra cheese with lettuce, tomato, and mayo on an fancy roll. Cool. She comes back after 20 minutes or so (of what should've been a 10 minute trip), saying how busy it was and nobody seemed to know what they were doing. I opened my sandwich, and it was a Market Fresh Turkey Sandwich. On honey wheat bread with honey mustard  . Minus bacon. But they did put mayo and extra swiss on it. Lunch = Fail. But I ate it. Why? Because I can't afford to have an employee out of the store for so long. And I was freakin' starving. The moral? When you're going to be by yourself management-wise at work, don't trust the people behind the fast food counter...bring your lunch. My first name ain't "sweetie" or "honey" or "darlin'", if you're above the age of 5 and I help you find the crap in my store that you're too lazy to look for yourself. MINI MUSICAL BREAK!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh_gaaUiNs8 A coworker informed me that she would do anything to get out of a DUI or DWI. Interesting. She's like, "I hafta throw it out there!" Interesting. And like most conversations I have with some people, it devolves into a lesser place of morality. She mentioned that those situations are expensive and the penalties are so severe, that she'd have to try anything to get out of it before it got any further, and by anything, she means anything. She's like, "You'd do the same thing if it was a woman cop!" Uhhh, no, I would not! See, girls can get away with anything. Sure, she can flash a male cop and he can be like, "Ohhh, well, be careful and have a nice night " or take full advantage of the woman and be gone on his merry way. But no way in hell am I gonna look at a female cop who's pulled me over, undo my jeans and unleash the Zipper Monster, and wink and say, "Well ma'am, if you want me to blow in that tube, then you can do the same to mine." Cuz you and I both know that not only will I be in cuffs and facing DWI charges, it'll turn into bribery, resisting arrest, and a bevy of aggrivated sexual charges ranging from exposure to forcible touching. Why? Because that's the way the world works. Women have the ultimate "Get Out Of Jail Free" card, and it's called their "body in a state of knowing they control a man by the power of sexuality". FACT. I learned that if you leave a stepstool in an aisle that you're counting things in, you will come back to see a cart of merch parked next to it with an old lady sitting on your stool. It's hard trying to count the top shelf of the skin care aisle when there's old lady ass on your stool.Alright, enough about my day. I'm home, it's quiet and peaceful, and I'm done talkin' about  this guy for one day. Now's a good time for me to see how all y'all's days went. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlTEKyIO1T4&NR=1&feature=endscreen |
| THE PROMPT: "Describe your sense of humour. Give some examples of things you find funny!" Happy Friday the 13th, everybody. While I'm not too overly superstitious, if time has proven me anything it's that (hold on...how do you pluralize "Friday the 13th"? Fridays the 13th, or Friday the 13th's? Or Friday the thirteenths?) Friday the thirteenths aren't usually good days for me. And today was no exception. Luckily, Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST has spiffed up the Friday prompt a little bit. And that's a good thing. Not all of my Fridays and Saturdays are exciting bunches of blogworthy mention. They're more like mundane overcoats on cadavers sometimes. That doesn't make for fun times on the laptop, and I'm all about the funny being the paint on these pale yellow walls. So let's see if my fortunes change a little bit this evening, shall we? Yes, we shall.My sense of humour? I think people putting the letter U in words it doesn't belong in are funny. Just kidding...no disrespect to the dialects of others from different areas of the world. My sense of humor is kinda hard to describe. I'm one of those people who doesn't know it's funny until I'm laughing so hard I've got tears literaly jumping from my eye sockets. I really don't get offended by much, other than blatant racism and crude disrespect of women...it's ok to make a woman the butt of a joke, just don't do it because she's a woman. Other than that, pretty much anything goes with me. Not that I find everything funny, but, well, you feel me. I've a bit of a sick sense of humor I suppose (probably because it takes so much to offend me). Those who've read me a little over time will know that. I'm the dude who comes in halfway through a conversation and runs with it, totally unnecessarily at times. I'm the one who tries to find the humor in most situations. I like to laugh and make others laugh...maybe it's a validation thing. Not that I try to measure my worth as a person by how many chuckles I get, but it is a bit rewarding to be able to relate a situation in a way that gets a few laughs. I'm typically a good sport too, most of the time. You have to be when sometimes your brand of humor relies on you finding hilariousness at the expense of others (good-naturedly), because eventually it catches up to you. That whole "don't dish it out if you can't take it" thing, ya know? The first step toward making others laugh is to know how to laugh at yourself. And I'm ok with that. What it all comes down to is that humor in this day and age is practicallly a necessity. If you don't like your job, you've gotta learn to laugh at it. If your family bugs you, find what's funny about it. 99% of everything in this world can be pretty fair game, and you need that in order to be happy. MUSICAL BREAK!! This video is actually for a friend of mine. My boy Adam posted this morning on Facebook that today was "that kind of day" for this band. Stylistically, their sound can range from Eurotrash disco, to emo-pop, to German death metal. They're all over the place. They're not a "joke" band, but this is why they're one of the coolest concerts I've ever been to. They were the only band on the bill. They opened up as their Eurotrash disco outfit with a short set, played a nice, long set as themselves, and closed with a bizarre, short set as the death metal alter-ego complete with fake blood. Great songs, great friends, and a great time. Or, as the title of one of their songs goes..."Good Times, Good Tunes, Good Buds" (and if you ever hear that song, the dude at the end is just like my boy DMFM after a few too many defeated cans of Miller High Life, the champagne of beers). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wBx_2dluD4 VITAL STATS: I don't talk on the phone very often, but it was nice to spend some time catching up with a old co-worker this evening. He's definitely one of the funnest and funniest dudes I've ever worked with. I'll relate one of his best stories (he's the kind of person that this type of shit only happens to...which is how a lot of his stories start): It's been awhile since I heard this story, so I'll do my best. He met a girl through friends of friends, and they were going out on a date. They went to a sporting event (maybe a Sabres game, but I'm not sure). The night had been going all right...no signs yet that there'd be a second date, but whatever. Well, they do this thing at sporting events that's called the "Kiss Cam", where they pan the crowd during breaks in the action and show couples on the big-ass Jumbotrons at the arena. Ideally, they pick a couple who's been together awhile, and they get excited and they kiss and it's cute and blah blah blah. Well, that night, they picked him and this girl. And he was like, "Uhhh, yes? No? Whaddya wanna do here?" And she was not about it. And if you've ever been to an event where they do the "Kiss Cam", you know how awkward the crowd gets when two people are on the Jumbotron and they don't kiss. I'm sure there's more to this story, but that's what I'll share. Gotta hang out with this guy soon though. His stories are fantastic. Random work thought: Apparently, a customer crept up on my boss and said, "Raspberry croutons?" like a creeper. She followed it up immediately with "Where's the raspberry croutons at?" Chew on that for a second...now, my first thought is that, lady, you're in a freakin' drug store that happens to sell a lot of normal shit also. But we're not a grocery store. We sell the basics...maybe enough to throw together a basic meal, but really? C'mon man, we sell pharmaceuticals and shit. Health and wellness supplies. Raspberry croutons? This ain't Wegmans. This ain't fine dining. If they're not next to the two different kinds of salad dressing we sell, then your raspberry croutons are not here. And sometimes, I have a hard time reading my boss' mood. I have trouble determining if she's in a good mood or she's pissed at me. So unless I'm sure, when we cross paths on the salesfloor I usually won't acknowledge her with more than a look, a nod, or general ignorance of her. But a few times after that, she'd veer into my direction as I'm walking past her, lean in a little closer than I'd normally appreciate, and whisper, "Raspberry croutons?" and walk away. And it's the little shit like that that I can find funny. Not hilarious, but funny.And with that, I'm gonna kick the door off this room and scream GOODNIGHT NOW!! before any of you understands what just happened. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyiW60sKT4c&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrgpZ0fUixs |
| THE PROMPT: "In your opinion should the government control how many natural resources you as an individual are allowed to use? In the name of conservation and to save the planet, should we be prohibited from taking up our greater share? Think limit on gasoline, monitored water usage, etc..." (opinion entry) Good afternoon everybody...what a prompt we've got going on for today, huh? Time to pull out the big guns for this one...fair warning, however: There's been nothin' but love up in this place since April's challenge started. Here's the point in the month where I probably piss a few people off. No sweat. Look, I'm just as much a hippie tree-hugger as the next guy (dunno if that's a good or bad thing). And I'm all for the government keepin' their grubby mitts outta the pocket I keep the bank card in. I pay taxes, like most of the rest of us. I expect them to be fair with my money. And I do little things too. I recycle. I try to shut my computer off at night and not leave lights on when I leave the room. But I'm not considering that effect on the environment. Energy will likely always be there (unless the unforseen happens and we're throttled back into the stone ages). But I'm sorry, no government is going to permit me to drive a vehicle with a 15-gallon gas tank and tell me I can only buy ten gallons at a time. No state legislature is going to say "don't shower twice a day if you work a very labor-intensive job". What government is going to care about how many lights you left on in your house when you went to the movies to see Forest Gump? Sorry folks, but the government isn't a bunch of dirty hippies. These days, the government is a business. And what's the goal of any business? Profit. And what does that mean? The government may try to push the "conservation" of these services, but shit, as long as those bills keep getting paid on time, they don't care how many lights you leave on, how much water you use, or whether or not you're using gas to heat your home or power your vehicle. They don't care. These giant utility corporations? They're basically overseen by some level of government, whether it's directly or indirectly labled as such. National Fuel. New York State Electric & Gas (NYSEG). Erie County Water Bureau. These are regulated departments of government, and like I said, they're run like a business that exists just like any other business...not for their customers, but to make money. Think of it like this: The government is a cellular phone provider (Sprint, Verizon, T-Mobile, AT&T, etc.). They sell you a device with a usage plan. Let's say that plan allots you 400 minutes of usage a month, and you pay $60 for it. And you can go over that 400 minutes if you want, but they're going to charge you $0.29/minute for every minute you use beyond your 400. They're not going to give you a courtesy call at 395 minutes, telling you you're close to the threshold of additional charges. They're gonna let you blow right by that milestone and let the charges keep adding up. And they'll keep doing that, as long as you keep paying that $100+ bill every month. And the moment you decide not to pay the bill? No more usage at all for you. Now, relate that to any utility company. The more you use, the more money they make. Once you've used enough to satisfy their overhead, they start making money off it hand over fist. And it's that simple...when your money stops going into their bank accounts, you no longer have their services. And they want your money, so they're not going to care about how much you use, how efficient your furnace is, how many miles to the gallon your car gets, whether or not you shut the tap off in between rinses when you brush your teeth, or how long you stare at the food in your fridge while trying to make up your mind as to what you want to eat. Secretly, behind all of the "Energy Conservation" and "Go Green!" campaigns, are a bunch of suits crunching numbers, cashing checks, and getting rich regardless of your attempts to "save the future of the world". And that's my opinion. Maybe I'm jaded by the fact that I don't have any kids, so once my cold, dead body is in the ground, my future has been determined and is somewhere else. But so many people are worried about what the future is going to hold for their kids, and I understand that, but please...if and when there's ever going to be some kind of energy crisis, it will be handled and addressed appropriately, by the right people and at the proper time. Weren't there meat and energy supply issues back in the 1970's? I see that most of those who lived through it made it out ok, albeit with a slightly different worldview and a new appreciation for things...just like those who lived through The Great Depression. It's the ebb and flow of life, really. One generation struggles and teaches its youth to be careful...that generation grows up and prospers, allowing for wasteful consumption and a lackadaisical attitude, and passes it on to their youth, who struggle because there was no conservation, and the cycle starts all over again. It doesn't end. It just gets a new name, a new face, new victims, and the same shoddy answers. And someone still profits from it anyway. MUSICAL BREAK!! Now that I'm on a bit of a bend about the government, I have to scratch that itch somehow. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqZOYgUolC4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAkHkbBuo_Q http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F22HZpECcH0 VITAL STATS: One last point about the government regulating anything: Did you know that in the state of New York you're limited on how much alcohol you're allowed to purchase on a given day? While some of NY's laws are fairly liberal regarding alcohol usage (on a county-by-county basis), you are only allowed to purchase the equivalent of up to approximately 4.5 gallons a day (gotta trust me on that...I spent a nice chunk of the afternoon trying to look that up to no avail, and I only know it because we had to take a training module on it at work). Now, I know you can only drink so much in a given day, but say you're throwing a big party and you want three 30-packs. Can't buy them all at once. That's a no-no. And I get that there's ways around it, but I think it's funny that such a rule exists. Can you imagine the government placing the same regulations on gas? What does someone who travels to make a living do when they exceed their daily allotment of gasoline? And how is it controlled? It's a law, that lawmakers spent all this time on, which isn't very publicized, and if I didn't take that training module, the only way I'd know about it is if I either tried to buy that much for a big party, or tried to cash someone out that was buying a lot of beer (our registers are programmed not to exceed a certain amount of alcohol on one purchase). Maybe it's a start to the "regulation of everything" process, to which I say if the government were smart, they'd legalize marijuana just so they could tax and regulate that as well, and make money off of it. And I don't even smoke weed...but think about my point. "Pot trafficking" related crimes would likely decrease, and the government makes more money off of something else. Then the states make their share, and this is clearly another topic for another time.And that's it for today. It's been a hit-and-miss kind of day already, and opinion pieces tend to get me a little overworked. Gonna hit a meal and a shower and move far, far away from this prompt before the FBI starts tappin' my internet. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8EyAKh-XWQ&ob=av2n |
| THE PROMPT: "Has music ever inspired you to write or to create?" Happy Wednesday, fine purveyors of this webpage! It's been a good day so far...let's see how I can keep it goin', shall we? For a music nerd like me, this should be easy, no? But it's not. See, there's a fine line walked when it comes to music and creation. Back in the day when I wrote poetry at the drop of a hat, I always had beats and rhythms and melodies in mind. There are certain poems I've written years ago that when I reread them now, I can still hear the music I created in my head to support them. Mind you, it was all original music, and not just the knockoff of a drumbeat or bassline that I was patterning my rhymes after. Music has always been inspiring to me, because I surround myself with it nearly constantly. Obviously it plays a role in what I do here in the non-confines of my blog, but I'm going to post a few examples right out of my portfolio that I can clearly remember being influenced directly because the muse was playing my song on her fancy jukebox.  "big smart rock jerk" The finger smudges of several bands are all over this one. It's not a song, it's not lyrics, but there are lines in it that were cultivated over repeated listens to bands like Radiohead, Jimmy Eat World, and Flickerstick. "Proper Condemnation" I was really beginning to fall in love with Radiohead at the time this was created, soaking up every last thing I could (legally or otherwise) get in my ears. I may have ripped off a little from them here, but I prefer to call it "incidental contact". I was listening to them so much, and writing when I wasn't listening, so they were bound to rub off. "I Will Not Look Heartbreak In The Eyes" I went through my Morrissey phase, but this could've been sung by Sinatra if he lived to be 127 years old and crooned like he was 25. Those certainly aren't maybe the best representaions of all that I've created while under the influence of song. And there's almost no end to the musicians I've taken cues from...Pearl Jam, Radiohead, The Get Up Kids, Taking Back Sunday, Our Lady Peace...just to name a few that have really had an impact on what I've been able to work through my brain's filters and let it out via ink and/or computer keystrokes. MUSICAL BREAK!! Here's a few clips of interest in regards to how I hear something and let it percolate creation inside me... Maybe my most favorite Radiohead song of all... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFXozUCW6wc I was a fan of writing from two points of view in one piece for awhile. I got that from Taking Back Sunday... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDZBvUV3s2g Everyone claims inspiration from the Beatles. I do as well, but moreso in the post-Sgt. Pepper era... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE2Vdcv9Q_o VITAL STATS: My boss, who'd been out of work the last week because her knee hurt or something like that, came back today. She said something about not being able to afford taking the appropriate time off to heal. I suggested we take up a collection for her around the store. She was definitely not amused. There was a lot of cursing, and I believe she even threw something at me. Well, I'm off to take care of a few things around here and then see what you folks are up to. Hopefully gonna make it an early night. I know, I know, I say it all the time, but one day it'll happen. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-w2wgceXUE |
| THE PROMPT: "If you HAD to chose another place to live, where would it be and what can you see yourself doing there?" Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Let's see...I could go with the standard Northeast answer for people who don't ski, snowboard or snow mobile, and say "somewhere warm" and call it a night. But you know me, folks. I see the line and then I cross it. I wouldn't exactly call myself a well-travelled person, but I've been to quite a few cities in my time. Most were beautiful, and I'd consider going back. And there are some cities I'd like to visit eventually, although you've probably heard the saying "It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't wanna live there". Like Cleveland, Ohio for example. I've been there a few times. Consider it crossed off the list...and the next time I'm in Cleveland it better be because I'm passing through on the way to someplace better. No offense Cleveland, but if I wanted to see your city, I may as well stay home and visit downtown Buffalo. They're so identical, it's a shame. The only thing Cleveland's got on us is Major League Baseball (whatever) and the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame (been there, done that). Now, here's what you need to know about me if you already don't. I'm not a "cold weather" person. I'm not the type when the thermometer hits 80 degrees to bitch about it being too effin' hot. It's the same people who do that that complain in the winter that it's so cold when it's 30 degrees out, and it drives me batshit. You live in Buffalo, people!! If you haven't learned by now, we're capable on occasions of seeing all four seasons in one day. Get used to it! There's another saying about the weather around here: "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes and it'll change". Screw that...I've got a saying for ya..."If ya don't like the weather after living here for so long, effiin' move...we don't need anymore complainin' around here". And that's my word. So where would I go? Florida. Went there twice and it was gorgeous both times. And why would I go (besides the fact that it's warm and nice a lot more often than here)? Easy. No state income tax. That's right folks. It's your money. You earned it. You keep it. Set me up on the beach, and let me do nothing but watch my glass get empty, get refilled, and get empty again (wash, rinse, and repeat). Now, I know that I might hear things like "hurricanes" and "Cubans" and "Dolphins", and let me just say this in response: 1) No matter where you go, there's going to be some kind of major weather event, and Buffalonians know how to prepare; 2) Higher Cuban population? No problem. More Cubans means more smugglers of Cuban cigars. 3) This isn't "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". I don't have to like their crappy football team. I've been cheering on a crappy football team now for over 30 years...and I'll fit right in because the Dolphins have already imploded and football season hasn't even started. There would be one drawback if I transferred from work to Miami. I'd almost definitely have to learn some Spanish (and don't act like the six years I took of it in high school will magically work its way into my vocabulary once I cross the Florida state line...not happenin') because in the few Walgreens I stopped in while down in Miami, the help all spoke Spanish. Even the managers. We tried using our employee discount down there, and they barely spoke English. We may have incited an accidental riot had the manager on duty not known enough broken English to take care of us. True story, bro. But anyway, here's what we love about Buffalonians. They leave for more money, better jobs, college and better weather. That's a little equation I'd like to refer to as "opportunity". But here's the truth...they always come back. And while some leave again, most never get the chance to escape twice. When they leave, the area stays in their hearts. Their stories start out with "When I was back in Buffalo..." and they proudly tell it as if they're still there. And when they do come back, it's as if they were never gone. That, my friends, would be why if I HAD to leave Buffalo, it wouldn't be on my terms. Because I'd be back. I'll bitch all day long about the cold and the snow, but I know deep down, no place is going to replace this city, people or food for me. Never. MUSICAL BREAK!! This song may actually be about Minnesota, but to me it's exactly how I feel about WNY. Safe travels, safe returns. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhlakIjSir0&feature=g-vrec&context=G29f26b9RVAAAA... VITAL STATS: Where can you get two eggs, homefries and steak for $3.99? Here: http://www.theolivetrees.com/ That was breakfast this morning...fully renovated and it's lookin' fiiiiiiiine in there. To everyone that read last night's entry, a heartfelt thanks. Your kindness, support, encouragement, and praise have not gone unnoticed by this guy in the hoodie with a laptop. Y'all are some fantastic people, and I appreciate all that you've said. It means a lot.I've got nothin' else to add tonight. Gonna try to check out what some of you cats had to say about the prompt before I turn around and go to work again in the morning. Peace, love, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOtpaBTqthU |
| THE PROMPT: "Which of your hobbies have you been doing for the longest amount of time?" Good afternoon, good people. Allow me a moment to catch my breath after one of the children came down the stairs while sharpening a knife and asking me "Guess what?" Yeah, that just happened. So I chugged a beer and said "Have at it." Turns out he wasn't on a mission to stab me. But damn, when I start blogging from hell, wouldn't that have been much more interesting? He came down to tell me about some site he was reading things on earlier this morning, and couldn't verify if they were true or not. Something about a video game he plays, and Southern Baptists are against it, and if your kid has cerebral palsy you're just a bad parent because you're lazy, and all this other shit. Later on he finds out it's a parody website. Shame him once, shame on them. Shame him a shit-ton of times, and knives all of the sudden need sharpening. And why does this pertain to what I have to blog about today, fine citizens that read this well-landscaped place of internet shrubbery? Well, it doesn't. But it kinda does. See, I took up writing as a hobby in the 7th grade. And through the encouragement of several different teachers throughout high school, I kept it up. They told me I was good at it. They like it. They thought I brought something to the table. But from where I sit, that table exists next to "As Seen On TV" products and chain letters. Or said more outright, blogging don't pay the bills (and the same can be said for my 90's lament, "Poetry don't pay the rent".) If I started writing back when I said I did, I'd be lying. I wrote books back in the day. I'd grab scrap note paper and write and illustrate childrens' books. As a 7-year-old. With magic markers, because I was too sophisticated for crayons at that point. I'd write little mini kid's books. And they were probably about my toys. And that's cool. Don't judge my little kid-ness! When I got older I became wildly enthralled with poetry. Combined with my love of music, I wrote daily. I discovered The Beat Generation, and spent every expendable cent on Kerouac and Ginsberg. And when I rescinded my love for hip-hop and hardcore rap, I fell in love with Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash...that helped me transcend from the Grunge era of music that I still hold close to me, even if I don't rock flannel anymore. That being said, I guess I'm wrong. Writing isn't a hobby, it's a lifestyle choice. Albeit not the same as what sex of partner you choose, but the same. You don't choose it. It claims you, and what you do with it is up to you. And I have decided that it is my hobby...but I would love to make a job out of it. And if I can make it feel like a hobby more so than a job, all the better. Who goes to work and likes their job? If I got paid for this, shit, why wouldn't I do it? It's what I love and what I've always done. Stacks of notebooks and WDC portfolio reviews can't argue that point. MUSICAL BREAK!! I may have posted this before, but this song resonates with today's prompt. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkX5LaVicUs VITAL STATS: Most of you cats don't even remember Stories.com. I did not lose my life today. And with a Hell Yeah! screamed loudly, I'm gonna take a nap. The inaccuracies I have to live with are so much more compelling and infuriating. But that's what growing up me leads to. So with that, I scream GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_ZBVvCKrCU |
| THE PROMPT: "It's that time of week to show you've been paying attention. Find something, everyone, throw something in. Find someone else's blog entry from the last week and discuss it in your own blog. Tell us why someone's entry resonated with you." Good evening, and a Happy Easter to all y'all!. Hope the bunny was good to your baskets  .Now that I'm stuffed from an amazing dinner with justjessica1's family, I'm saddled with the task of choosing a blog entry to talk about in my own blog. And man, that's a hard choice... this week was really a week for the writers. Solid prompts and great stories, and everyone did an amazing job. Before I get to my choice, I have to say I really enjoyed writing and especially reading all of the takes on Day 4's (reality tv) and Day 5's (alternative medicines) prompts. Of the few "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" contests I've entered, this might be one of the more talented and engaging groups I've been involved with yet. (Maybe that new commenting rule instituted by Mr. Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST has something to do with it.)So that said, I'm gonna give the honor of my "Blog Entry Of The Week" to another fellow Western New Yorker, Bonnie14222 for her entry, "Invalid Entry" .It's short, but there's a ton of information and suggestions in there. I know more than a couple of you all learned something new that day, and chances are you read it in Bonnie's entry. Her style of writing is very conversational in a way that you feel sometimes as she's writing you an email to tell you about what's been going on, or to remind you of something, or just to relate something to you just in case you might forget. She could blog her grocery list and I'd be like, "OK, I'll be back in a hour...anything else?" So good job, Bonnie! MUSICAL BREAK!! So, Christmas and Easter are, like, two of the biggest, most religical holidays of the year. What else would trump the birth and death of Christ? I mean, there's some saints that have holidays, but heaven forbid (see what I did there?) a store would close for St. Valentine's Day, or All Saints' Day (that's the day after Halloween, and that's when all the candy gets marked down). And what really irks me? There's songs for Christmas (carols that play non-stop from Nov. 1 to Jan. 15, and pop stars that make their vanity Xmas albums), St. Patrick's Day, Halloween, and New Years. Why not Easter? Hell, even Independence Day has a freakin' song thanks to Lee Greenwood and his "God Bless The USA" song. Outside of the songs sung in churches, I can think of one stupid little Easter song. Thankfully, after much trolling around the interwebs, I've tracked down an updated, for-the-times version of that song. Here goes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lslAWhNh6HI&feature=fvst VITAL STATS:  So, from the files of "This Just Happened!" comes this little Easter nugget. I bought a basket for Jess this year and filled it with some chocolates, gum, random candy, some other random items, and a little 10"x10" pillow. I don't know why I bought this pillow, other than the white/pink/silver argyle pattern on it...what would she use this for? It's too small for a head (or pretty much anything else). I took a brief break from blasting out this entry to head upstairs for a minute and stretch my getaway sticks. I walked into the living room, and she's stretched out on the couch with her feet up on, of all things, a tray table. I looked at her and asked if she was comfortable, to which she replied, "No, I just got into this position and the edge of the table is diggin' into the backs of my feet." So what did I do? I cocked my head to the side (cuz sometimes you need to do that, so the good thoughts float past the other crap in your brain to get to the top), I raised my index finger to indicate she should hold on a second, and ran and grabbed that once-useless-other-than-it's-pretty pillow, and placed it under her feet at the edge of the tray table. Why? Because in the immortal words of Vanilla Ice, "If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it." Comfort has been restored.Well, I think I've said about enough for one day. Time to see your picks for the day, and then head on out to enjoy what's left of the Easter Sunday. Y'all behave...peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPwVRfbd2HQ&feature=fvsr |
| THE PROMPT: "Another chance to blog. Under the guise of 'how was your week, in detail", feel free to blog about any subject dear to your heart. The dearer the better." Good evening folks. Happy Saturday to you all! Now, in lieu of a pretty boring day (busy at work and no shortage of customers, most of which were surprisingly well-behaved), I'll opt to go with the "any subject dear to your heart" route. It might be cheating a little, since it's a resurrection of prior entries from years past, but it's a fun one, and I encourage you all to try it sometime. Anyone wno knows anything about me knows that the subject of music is near and dear to me. Passionate and knowledgeable about it, am I. Of course, I may not know everything, and I might not like your favorite band, but chances are (as long as it's not country) you'd like a few of the 14, 298 songs on my iPod. So without further ado, I'm bringing back the almighty "iPod Shuffle Game". The rules: 1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle. 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer. 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS. (Norb's note...no you don't! But you should leave a witty comment after each song.) Format: ("Song Name" -Artist Name) 1. If someone says 'Are you okay?' you say...? "What It Is To Burn" -Finch Good start to this. 2. How would you describe yourself? "I Turn My Camera On" -Spoon Uhhhh, yeah. 3. What do you like in a guy/girl? "Lonely Nights" -Saves The Day Interesting. That says a lot. 4. How do you feel today? "Can't Stop, Won't Stop" -KRS-One This would be true except for the nap I took. 5. What's your life's purpose? "Hey Hey What Can I Do" -Hootie & The Blowfish Seems purposeful enough. 6. What's your motto? "Space And Time" -The Verve Sure, that works. For what, I don't know. 7. What do your friends think of you? "Master Exploder" -Tenacious D . 8. What do your parents think of you? "The Kids Aren't Alright" -The Offspring Fitting. Totally. 9. What do you think about often? "Can It All Be So Simple" -Wu-Tang Clan True story. 11. What do you think of your best friend? "Stay Gold, Ponyboy" -The Get Up Kids Excellent choice, iPod! Great tune for great dudes. 12. What is your life story? "When Girls Telephone Boys" -Deftones Hey, nobody said it was a great story. 13. What do you want to be when you grow up? "Motorcade" -Beck I dream mid-sized. 14. What do you think when you see the person you like? "Quit (Don't Say You Love Me)" -Neil Young Yikes! iPod, behave. 15. What will you dance to at your wedding? "State Of Love And Trust" -Pearl Jam To dance at your wedding, you must be married first. 16. What will they play at your funeral? "You Know My Name" -Chris Cornell I'm sure my friends will put the "fun" into my funeral. 17. What is your hobby/interests? "Auntie's Municipal Court" -The Monkees Wow. My iPod's messed. 18. What is your biggest fear? "The Start To This May Be The End To Another" -Moneen That's a good way of looking at things. 19. What is your biggest secret? "Walking Contradiction" -Green Day Shhh...don't tell anyone. Oh wait, I guess I already am. Drat. 20. What do you want right now? "Use Somebody" -Kings Of Leon I love it when my iPod gets frisky .21. What do you think of your friends? "To Them These Streets Belong" -Rise Against You know it! 22. What will you post this as? "Just Can't Get Enough" -Depeche Mode Ending on a nice note. I just do this once in awhile 'cuz it's fun, I get to hear music I might not've heard in awhile (or never before), and maybe it'll turn some on to something they might like that they didn't know about. Sharing the music is always good. MUSICAL BREAK!! Cuz this entry isn't already one big ball of music, isn't it?? Oh, what the hell. Because I can't... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6FBfAQ-NDE&ob=av2e VITAL STATS:  Yup, like I said, it was a pretty quiet day all in all. No good stories, nothing crazy. Some days you need a little of that (just not on a day that's basically an "open prompt").Alright kids, I'm gonna try and catch up a little and see what the other bloggers are up to. It's been a good week so far... peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErPsx8zdnX4 |
| THE PROMPT: "In the tradition of bloggers everywhere, tell us all about your day, in great detail, even the mundane stuff, but especially the good stuff, the parts of your day that inspired you, that motivated you, that showed you the joy in your life. Tell us how your Good Friday was, whether you laughed or whether you cried. You know, blog." Ohhhh boy. Good evening y'all. What a week it's been. Ups and downs, happiness, sadness, frustration, disappointment, success, entitlement, you name it. And today only existed as a feeling of a culmination of all of those sentiments, rolled into a giant garbage sandwich that was forced down my throat with a sledgehammer, it feels like. Ok, for the most part it wasn't too bad of a day. I was alone at work in the morning management-wise again, and it was pretty busy, but at least I had a cashier. But 3:30pm couldn't have come any faster. People were really starting to find out where my last nerve was...I didn't want to be around to see what happened if anyone would tap into it. I came home to a quiet house. Came downstairs to turn on my iPod, which had been charging for a day and a half...only to see that it, in fact, did not charge. Kinda miffed? You betcha. But I'd been meaning to sync it to my laptop anyway, as I bought some stuff off iTunes a week or two ago that never made it on there. Silver lining, right? Synced and charged and...holdupwaitaminute, my laptop won't even open iTunes. Awwww, helllllll nawwwww. Unplugged the damn thing, rebooted the laptop, and finally got it to sync and charge. We'll know as soon as I hit "send" whether or not it's holding a charge and still bustin' out crazy awesome jams, yo. Checking my email has been an adventure lately. On top of all the new Official "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" entrants that have been commenting, and the regulars who've been commenting, a random WDC member has decided that they were so interested in my writing that they were going to read my old blog, "I'm Studying You" , from front to back and let me know what they think. And that's cool, I admire the time and effort, and the egotistical thought in my head of having psychotic fans poring over my every word, and asking me questions, and analyzing, and ripping at my clothes when I go to the grocery store. But then it got weird. When I asked this person about themself, they wouldn't open up. Which is fair...that's their right. But then it became personal...like this person knew me from the past. In putting two and two together, I came to a conclusion that it was friends of a certain friend, and they were picking my brain for information about me for one reason or another. So I called this person out, got the denial because technically I was wrong, and all was good. Until this person cracked. It was the old friend of mine, who logged into WDC and created a fake account because basically I don't open up to this friend much anymore and I don't respond to emails in as timely a fashion for their liking. Whatever. Childish. Batshit-crazy. It is what it is. I haven't addressed it yet until now, and I'm not so sure if or when or how I will beyond venting here and now and being done with it. What a fucked up thing.So I didn't even really process it much before Jess came home with a fish fry in each hand and a bottle of ketchup waiting for me in the fridge. Oh, an RJ's fish fry...like most anything else they do, damn near, if not the, best in town. When you come lookin' for me the next time you're in my city (note to said "friend" from the last paragraph and "friend's alter-ego": Don't.), you better believe we're hangin' out with food from RJ's. But anyway, I don't normally eat the whole thing, but tonight I ate a hell of a lot more than normal. And I felt it. Told the woman I live with I was gonna take a shower after we ate and then spend a little quality time with her, but no. My head was killin' me. Had to take a power nap just to get the ringin' out of my brain and make it stop spinning. And it worked. And here I am. And it's Friday. MUSICAL BREAK!! It's Friday! Why not bust out this classic jam based on a movie of the same name? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TE891IHxyV8 Unfortunately, it's the official video with the actual album version dubber over it. No Chris Tucker wisecracks 'til the end, and it's totally uncensored. Call it "F-bomb Friday". Just offended half my fanbase. Sweet! Here, I'll atone with this. I'm not all anything religical or anything, but if you're not a Catholic, I'm sorry in advance. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZQuIeK59To VITAL STATS: When one of the few highlights of your day at work is a slightly overweight woman in her early fifties returning a $50 electric razor designed for trimming the "bikini zone", it's time for a vacation. A vacation where you look for a new line of work. And that line of work doesn't involve the dregs of the general population.Ladies and gentlemen, that's all for me for tonight. The exits are in the rear, and mine's upstairs. Happy Good Friday, Happy Passover, Happy Whatever-You-Call-It. I'm outta here. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FzD33xFwZA |
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