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 |   A little bit of everything, colored my own way. |
 BLOG CHALLENGE WINNER FOR SEPTEMBER 2011 AND APRIL 2012!! ** Image ID #1901871 Unavailable **  After almost a year away, I've decided to revisit Blogville. I'm refreshed and ready...this time around it'll be a little different. I'll talk about a little bit of everything...music, sports, retail life, and more. It's not for everyone...you might not like it, but someone you know (and possibly detest) probably will! WHO THE HELL DO I THINK I AM??  We're gonna find out one way or another!  Relax, enjoy, leave a comment, tell your friends... A special thanks to Julie D - PUBLISHED!  for the 2011 Quill Awards image!"There is only one way...it is THE WAY." -Photo Jesus  "Can't you count to one??"  Thanks for stopping by and showing your support!  |
| THE PROMPT: "Every country has its prestigious traditions. Some of those are our favorites. In the community you live now enumerate the good traditions you and your family are anxious to celebrate." Good evening folks! It's about 15 degrees outside, which makes me even more excited for today's prompt. When you live on the East Coast near a giant lake, and you can't stand the cold and snow much, there really aren't a ton of reasons to brave the elements, which is why I look forward to summer even more. Buffalo's a great city for festivals in the summer. Between our different creative communities and our diverse population, there's something for everyone to do nearly every weekend, and most carry very little out-of-pocket expenses. You'll forgive me if you're a local who reads this and I left out one of your favorites. Consider this as part of your "Summer In Buffalo" to-do list!  The Allentown Art Festival This is probably our biggest and most popular festival of the summer. Local artists of all kinds line the streets of the Allentown district offering art, handmade jewelery, and all sorts of interesting items. It's worth it just to go and see all types of people getting along in such a spirit of creative community. In other words, it's a blast just to go and do some serious people-watching.  But really, it's a great experience. http://www.allentownartfestival.com/ The Taste Of Buffalo Maybe the second-most popular gathering in Buffalo, The Taste Of Buffalo amasses a bunch of local restaurants that serve up bite-size portions of their specialty dishes. It celebrates something Buffalonians love to do...eat! http://www.tasteofbuffalo.com/ Music Is Art This two-day music exhibition was originally meant to showcase local music running concurrently with The Allentown Art Festival, but too many people running AAF were concerned that it didn't fit in and would be bothersome, so they branched out on their own and it's been a wild success. It's run by Goo Goo Dolls bassist Robby Takac (the most successful band to come out of Western New York) and has a few stages running all types of music from our thriving musical community. http://musicisart.org/ Ethnic Festivals Just heading downtown to grab a bite to eat at these festivals is totally worth the trip, but why stop there when you can get a peek at different art, dancing, and other tidbits of certain cultures? The Italian Festival, Hellenic Festival, and Juneteenth Festival are some of the more popular ones.http://www.buffaloitalianfestival.com/ http://www.buffalogreekfest.org/ http://www.juneteenthofbuffalo.com/ National Buffalo Wing Festival And last but not least, a festival that celebrates what Buffalo is known best for (and no, it's not snow or losing four straight Super Bowls): Chicken Wings! And no, we don't call them "buffalo wings" like the rest of country does...do you think Chinese people order "Chinese Food"? No! They are what they are...chicken wings. Local restaurants and national chains compete to see who makes a better chicken wing...and take my word for it, almost every pizza place and dive bar on every streetcorner in WNY makes a better chicken wing than any national chain out there. Nobody does it better than the originators! http://www.buffalowing.com/This is just a small sample of what happens here in the summer. This local publication will keep you up-to-date on all the events happening year-'round in The 'Lo... http://artvoice.com/ MUSICAL BREAK!! Here's just a sample of some local musicians you might be familiar with: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ice7NydF7RM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QD5n98R_nk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYHxGBH6o4M&ob=av2e VITAL STATS:  After a day off spent getting an oil change and making numerous trips to various places where you can buy things, and then coming home and cleaning out the fridge and the snack cabinet, I'm treating myself to a little reward...a nice, large bottle of Pearl Jam Twenty Faithfull Ale. And I must admit I've never had something so smooth and satisfying in all my years. A little pricey, but I broke down and cracked it when I was able to still find it today at a local shop. One to enjoy, one to save!   And what does justjessica1 make out with today? A lazy susan 3 pot rotating crock pot thing. I'll admit that it's pretty sweet...three 1-qt. pots with separate temperature controls designed to spin around. She's gonna have to start throwing more of her home girly parties just to see that this thing pays for itself . Finally! An 8pm puckdrop for the Sabres tonight! Quick update on the standings...Buffalo currently sits in 11th place in the Eastern Conference with 68 points, but trail 8th place Winnipeg by two points, which makes tonight's game against Winnipeg all the more important. A win tonight would tie us with Winnipeg for the final playoff spot (which I believe would go to the Jets via the head-to-head matchup tiebreaker) with 16 games to go. Hey Brother Nature , are you watchin'? Good luck Joel!That's all I've got for tonight, good people who read this. Thanks for your time. And hit me up if you're ever in the area...I'll be more than happy to show ya around. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQZacxvuLJM (The scene at the 2:00 mark of this clip always makes me a little misty...I was at that game, watching with a few thousand other fans. Chris Drury scored with a 1.7 seconds left in regulation to tie up a playoff game against the Rangers, and Maxim Afinogenov scored the winner in overtime. His celebratory slide along the ice remains one of the greatest moments of my life.) |
| THE PROMPT: "DISCUSS SOMEONE ELSE'S BLOG" Good afternoon, faithful readers. Today we get to talk about, in blog format, someone else's blog. And I'm cool with that today, since I haven't really had much going on lately. I believe this was one for the prompts a few months back, in one way or another, if I'm not mistaken. The writer whose blog I'm about to write about is no stranger to the WDC community. She's wrapped up many awards not only for her blog, but many of her other works as well. And while she needs no introduction to this space or to many of you, it gives me great pleasure to highlight, in my personal space, the witty, talented, and wonderful Julie D - PUBLISHED! and her blog, "Invalid Item"  .Her blog has something in it for pretty much everyone. It tackles topics of all kinds; news from around the world, sports, music, and the day-to-day life of what it's like to be Julie D. It's well-written...it's for the average person to enjoy and it speaks in a language everyone can relate to. I think the key element, the one that ties everything up throughout an entire entry, is her sense of humor and her always sunny disposition. Both shine through in everything she discusses, including the "ABC After-School Special" moments in life that aren't always easy to talk about. That she can relate these details of her life with a sense of maturity and skill speaks volumes about her character as a person. I can almost sum it up like this: If her blog was a tv show about her life, it'd be a one-hour long dramedy on NBC that mixes a bunch of themes into one relateable episode after another, and every one of them leaves you waiting to see what's gonna happen the next time. I'm not saying any of this because Julie and I have been friends on WDC for almost her entire journey on the site, or that through each other's blogs we've been able to maintain a good friendship and have seen each other through some of the ups and downs of life. If all I had to go on was simply her volume of work here, I would still say she's one of the best writers out there in the blogosphere, and would recommend her to anyone else looking for a fantastic, down-to-Earth view on the ways of the world. And like myself, she's not only a true champion of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" and a nominee for The Quill Awards for having the Best Blog on WDC, but her blog won the award for Best Blog, besting my honorably-mentioned pieces of internet bloggage. If you needed anymore proof that she's one of the best out there, then there it is.Congrats on all of your awards, and all that you do for the WDC community, Jules!!  Not only am I proud to be spending this cold, wintry Sunday afternoon here telling the world how great your blog is, but I'm proud, lucky and thankful to be considered your friend. From one talented writer to another, thank you for all that you've done and for who you are. And don't ever, ever stop. MUSICAL BREAK!! Julie and I have competed together in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" before. And it was her (among a few others) who encouraged me to get involved with it. I cheered her on and saw what it was like through reading her entries last summer, and then I decided to get on board with it. That alone has been one hell of a ride! Competing along with her has been a great challenge. We're so alike in our writing in a lot of ways...down to damn-near similar entries, or just happening to write, edit and comment at the same time, totally unplanned. Like showing up to the school dance and your friend is wearing the same clothes, and you totally didn't realize it. Our thoughts, opinions and tastes seem to be very similar on most topics, which is why we sometimes refer to each other as "twins". It's uncanny sometimes...you can't predict or make this shit up. So anyway, here's a few songs I'd like to share.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nW5kIhcByac http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HClDKS5ywDg VITAL STATS: These West Coast games are really throwing me off. Stayed up for two periods of the Sabres game last night and had to DVR Saturday Night Live before calling it quits early. The Sabres blew the doors off Rogers Arena in Vancouver on the way to defeating the best team in the NHL last night, 5-3. Two points out of a playoff spot now. Imagine if this team had been healthy and playing this way all season. Scary good. On my way as soon as justjessica1 gets back from a bridesmaid dress fitting thing to go to Big Lots. Everything is 20% off today. A friend just moved into her first apartment by herself and we're gonna fill in some of the things she needs as a housewarming gift, plus see about whatever crap we don't need but still want. Can't beat 20% off. Labbatt has comemorative cans for the Sabres' famed "French Connection" line of the '70's. Decent brew, awesome cans, but can't find the third member, Rene Robert, anywhere. I need the collection!And that'll do it for now. I'll probably be back around later to check up on everyone. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di7aFnMSwBM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVqoYvlEZis |
| THE PROMPT: "HOW WAS YOUR DAY? WHAT HAPPENED?" Good evening fine readers...welcome to another day of my boring life! Again, not a bad day, but not much really happened worth speaking about. Wind gusts in Buffalo are expected to be up to 70 mph. On the way home from work I saw a fairly large tree, laying in its yard. It had uprooted and taken all of the surrounding sod with it, forming a nearly perfect half-circle shaped wall of grass. It was pretty impressive! I managed to make it to work on time...good thing, since there wasn't anybody else there I could call in late/sick/dead to. My boss text'd me to ask me how many Shamrocks we sold. The company is selling paper shamrocks for the MDA. Make a difference here: http://www2.mda.org/site/TR?fr_id=1418&pg=entry Apparently my boss has a bet with another store manager over who can sell more shamrocks. Our store was pretty awesome with it last year. The local MDA even came in and took a picture of me pointing at a shamrock to put in their newsletter. I was only covering a break. I may have sold three of the nearly 1,000 we sold last year. This year? We're terrible. Not close to 100 after 2+ days. So my boss told me how to track how many we sold. I text'd her shortly after with a picture of a two-pack of flashlights, missing one flashlight. The local trend seems to be shoplifting flashlights. I don't know about anyone else, but I didn't get the memo about a potential electrical grid outage, or any type of catastrophe occurring soon that I may need to have lots of flashlights on hand. This "flashlight shoplifting" thing is starting to reach epidemic proportions. But the weird thing is the perpetrators only steal one of the two. I told her that I just pulled the one that wasn't stolen the other day and stuck it in the package with the other one that wasn't stolen today. She said that was smart. So I did well. So, what else...what else? Eh, got a lot accomplished today at work. In other words, I counted things. Cuz that's what I do. Another day spent first counting what we have, then what we didn't have, and then counting more of what we have a lot of with the purpose of not getting more in. My job is very peculiar that way, and it makes no sense. At least at the current moment I have the house to myself, and I need it that way. It's been awhile, and I just need a little peace and quiet. That, and maybe a short nap after I finish my dinner/this entry before the Sabres game. MUSICAL BREAK!! Not to get too Canadian on you again (only one outta three), but since this entry's about work, maybe the songs should be too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN9i5Z01kFI&ob=av2e http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMAST0hMitw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=559eWB93jW4&ob=av2e VITAL STATS:  You know you're overdue for a haircut when the old ladies "love the crazy wild hair you got goin' on there". And when they say "it's hip", you know you need to be around some different old ladies.Ugh, I'm so full and tired that I can't even keep up. Naptime for your boy over here. Go Sabres. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydVp-2B8qlw |
| THE PROMPT: "HOW WAS YOUR DAY? WHAT HAPPENED?" That's a fine "how do you do?" folks! What's good, people? Same old same old here. I'm liking the way this "new structure" for the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" is set up. Fridays are basically open prompts about your day. I can dig it...as long as I have fantastical Fridays, or at least better ones than today. Not to say today was bad, but it was pretty uneventful.Allow me a moment to rewind the day on the security tapes in my head...hold steady, because the footage is a little blurry. Maybe I can find a story somewhere that doesn't include the typical genital jokes, old person jokes, and stupid people jokes. Wow, this is harder than I thought. I don't even have a hockey game on that I'd want to watch tonight that I could talk about. Well, technically, the Sabres game ended after midnight last night, so that counts, right? Ehhhh. Ryan Miller has the boys on a tear with two straight shutouts, so hopes for making the playoffs are looking up. I guess at work the gist of today was more focused on tomorrow. Usually I work 8am-4pm on Saturdays. I promise you I won't be winning any "time and attendance" awards anytime soon, that's for sure. Lately I've been slipping in that department, for various factors (some of which I could not control). My fiasco a few weeks ago about calling five minutes after my shift started to see if everything was working or I'm not coming in, coupled with the power I vested in myself to switch my schedule on Saturdays from 8am-4pm to 10am-6pm at the last minute, really tweaked my boss' last nerve. Add that on top of her feeling like I'm not very productive at times, and that led to a nice little sit-down verbal ass-whoopin' a few days ago. So your boy, Mr. Time and Attendance over here, managed to get his ass to work twenty minutes early today. And he still found himself punching the timeclock at 8:01. Go friggin' figure. Bosslady left for a meeting or whatever and came back in quite a mood. She was stressed, and she wanted to go home, but given the nature of my position, my blessings aren't quite good enough. I came into the office at one point and she said, "You do realize you're here by yourself at 7:30am tomorrow, right?" I looked right at her and said, "I know. It's cool." End of story, right? Why would it be if I was telling you all about it?So she's like, 1/2 kidding and 1/2 serious when she retorted, "So you know you can't just call someone five minutes after the store opens to say you're not gonna be here, right?" I almost reached for the paper towels to clean up her dripping sarcasm. I just kinda looked down, shuffled my feet, shook my head and said, "So can I just text myself at 7:35 to say I'll be late?" That actually made her laugh. MUSICAL BREAK!! The best part of the day actually came on the ride home given to me courtesy of Jessica's son, and is sponsored by http://www.edge.ca/. The beauty of living in Buffalo is that we're in such close proximity to Toronto that we can pick up their alternative rock station, which plays much better music than Buffalo's leading alternative rock station. Part of the reason (from what I've heard) is that the on playlists of Canadian music stations, via some sort of law, 60% of the artists or bands played must be Canadian. And that's really cool and interesting, because there are a lot of great Canadian bands out there that are wildly popular in border cities like Buffalo and Detroit, but noplace else in the states. A band like The Tragically Hip can sell out First Niagara Center (where the Sabres play...say it with me..."The F'N Center" or sell out a 4-show run of dates at the famed Artpart Ampitheater in Lewiston, but when they tour down south, they might play a bar that has five people there, including the bartender. I know people who have moved to places like the Carolinas and Florida who can attest to this. It's amazing.Anyway, the drive home is about three songs long, and it's been a long time since I last was able to say this: Three kick-ass songs on the radio, in a row! And yes, two of the bands are Canadian, and the other singer is a legend and it features a pretty prominent performer in his own right. So this, friends, was the soundtrack for my voyage from work to home: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnQ-Ixnqpe8&ob=av2e http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEypM_BRe5Y http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGRNEJiD3PY Best. Ride. Home. In a long time. VITAL STATS: I can tell you what I don't have to bitch about...a hockey emoticon. (With all apologies to Brother Nature , who's attempted to craft a few of his own that I've stolen.) So, what else about today? Don't judge me for using the "party hat" emoticon this way, but it does look like a slice of pizza. Tops Markets has their own private label pizzas, and that's dinner. Bacon Cheeseburger pizza. I also picked up a Barbecue Chicken pizza, similar to the one we sell at work. They even have a Bacon Chicken Ranch pizza...don't know how I feel about that. Still, nothing comes close to my own Texas Red Hot pizza. What is it? It's a Buffalo thing, so you wouldn't understand.  Well, that about ends it. Another typical day around here. Boring, but that's how it's gotta be sometimes. Hope yours was better. Peace, love, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdJp5-g69go |
| THE PROMPT: "When is Free Better? When Not?" Good evening everyone! Interesting prompt to start a new month off, so I'll hit it head-on. When is free better? I'd argue that it's always better. However, because I like a good argument as much as the next guy, I'll ague my own point. When is free not better? Let's start right here at Writing.com, for example. You can tell by the following chart that free isn't always the way to go. http://www.writing.com/main/shop/cat/Memberships There are many services that offer "free" versions of what they offer, and "premium" versions that offer more for a fee. What it boils down to, basically, is you get what you pay for. Not to slight WDC's free site, but it's definitely worth it to buy the upgraded versions. One could also argue that everything has a cost, regardless. Sure, a store may offer something for free during a special promotion, but they make up for the loss they're taking on the free item by making you purchase something else...maybe something you don't want or need, but you see the word "free" and that's all that registers in your mind, and you'll do what it takes to get it. Our store runs several promotions like this every week. You buy an item at a sale price, and you receive a coupon good for that item's price off your next purchase, "as if you're getting it for free". But you're not...you have to come back and spend at least that much in the next few weeks, in order to use that coupon. So, it's not really free. Let's play with math for a minute...(true story) A 3-pack of condoms is on sale for $3, and you get a $3 coupon on your next purchase. Next week, the condoms are back to their regular price of $3.99. You buy it and redeem your $3 coupon, spending 99 cents. So you got two packs of condoms for $6.99, which is a savings for sure, but not truly free. Why is this a true story? Because it happened. A scruffy, kinda dirty 70-year-old man limps in to the store, pointing to the ad and asking me "where the rubbers are". Rubbers? Who over the age of 15 calls them that anymore? And if you have to ask where something like that is, chances are, you haven't had the need to purchase them in quite some time. I think it's a pretty safe bet that he only wanted them because they seemed free. So let's sum it up: Free, it's usually pretty good. Not free? It can usually be better than free. Free condoms aren't always free. MUSICAL BREAK!! Wow...that didn't work out as planned. I was gonna write a little tidbit about how important freedom of speech is, and include an old Ice-T clip from back in the day called "Freedom Of Speech (Just Watch What You Say". That is, until I listened to it. You know me, always pushing boundaries...and even I had to limit myself by not posting that. That's what happens when you haven't listened to your cassettes in about 10 years. That, and most of the population only knows Ice-T now from some stupid cop show on NBC. So I'm going with this instead (I understand if you want to skip it, but it's legendary considering who it is and when it was originally performed): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqrMDyPx99U I know the audio quality is garbagy, but that's not the point itself. VITAL STATS:  Took a 1.5-hour nap after work today. I hardly ever nap, and when I do it's never for that long. So it looks like I'll be up for a little while... Bonus of staying up? I'll catch the Sabres game on the west coast, which starts in about five minutes.   Ya know what's not a bonus? I'll be draggin' ass throughout the morning at work tomorrow.  So with that, I'mma go ahead and get outta your hair for the evening. Peace, love, Go Sabres, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8y_XELbssc |
| THE PROMPT: Oh, snap, there isn't one. I'd blame it on that pesky "Leap Year" phenomenon, but that's not it. Good evening folks, and welcome to the extra day you get to live your lives on every four years. Leap Year babies, Happy Birthday! And to the rest of you, well, we don't care if you don't care, and vice/versa. Friends, I hit my boiling point in the forum for the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" last night. Please understand: I had to. It had been building up since the beginning of the month. That outburst last night of mine needed to happen in order for me to let go of the drama. To let go of the last few months. To move forward minus a few pieces of triggers. And I'm quite ok with all of it. The reason there's no prompt today is because some of us have been blocked by the one sending out the prompts. The final prompt of the month wasn't even a prompt...it was the "final notes, to be read in a blog". That, as I said, some of us have no access to. And I'm quite ok with that too, as it means I don't have to read blathering gibberish anymore. That said, I'm in no way apologizing for standing up in what I believe in, and I believe it to be true. There were motives, issues and grandstanding going on. These days, any hack can get "published" via the internet. The Blog Challenge minus 30DBC Creator/Founder lacked integrity. In its place was a second-grader judging the fifth-grade spelling bee. I understand it's a lot of work running all of this: "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . I offered once to moderate the forum's Facebook page. I heard nothing back. I also donated to the cause after I won the September challenge. And I donated well...I never got a thank you, nor the attachments that come along with donating. I hear this has been an issue lately...but hell, it's virtual currency. There's not much I can do with it besides donate, or reward others. I've done that as well.But this isn't about me. I could care less...like I said, I had to vent in order to restore some balance to myself about this. And coupled with a few other changes, I'm excited to have a few runs at the new trial period in March, and come back better than ever in April. I'm glad and thankful that a few of us involved felt the same way. And sour grapes? Nope, I mash them into wine before they get that way. I knew I had no chance in February once the winners were announced for January. I'm not bitter. Not the least! It actually inspired me along the way. The support I've shared with some friends (old and new) mean more to me than an internet contest screaming for help, leadership and guidance. I have solid faith in what Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST is trying to implement. If it works, we'll joke about this period of time in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . What I fear, and I don't fear it much because I can't see it happening, is that the changes don't take, and this thing dies out. That, my friends, would be a shame. I went from blogging 3-4x a month back to doing it daily. This was a great (and friendly) competition. And it should be. So hey, let me be a gentleman (like I was last month) and congratulate the winners from February...Prosperous Snow celebrating  (congrats on the repeat win!), BIG BAD WOLF is hopping  , and the honorable mention, sunnystarr. Congrats! Enjoy the spoils! And I won't take anything away from it by saying anything more about it. One statement I can appreciate? This one: "I've posted Teff's reasonings behind each of the place getters because she's not here to defend her judging. I've left out her comments about Fivesixer. Lol." Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST , Dude, I don't even want to know. I pretty much don't care. justjessica1 was like, "Don't you really want to know?" Nope. I don't need whatever was said by someone who manipulated things for her benefit to cast judgement on me. I did my work on her during the serials. And I'm done. And she's done (we hope). I look forward to actual writing, with prompts that are fair to everyone.That said, it's about time for... MUSICAL BREAK!! This might say it all... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti6Te-exY4Q And this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp4CLl0zJSE&feature=related And this too... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8wCJ9A0TUg If that doesn't satisfy the prompt at hand in a blocked view, well, here it is for you to see. You can read our final moments of February, but we can't read yours under the veil of a "vacation". A rough ride it's been for all of us. Hater. VITAL STATS: Rough day at work, seeing as I know I've been trying to get better at getting in on time. Things happen when you have teenagers around. There's also an adjustment period that needs to happen when life changes happen. But that doesn't exist where I work. What was once a fun environment has turned into me deciding if I even want to stay with this company, or GTFO. And I'm leaning more toward gettin' the eff out...as long as there's a better plan for me. This past month has been a wreck, and can't get better. This can't be what I was paid to do. It changes too much, and I'm not comfortable doing what I do, because it's not enough. The hypocrasy in my position alone is ridiculous, "Count stuff one day to make sure we have it." "Count stuff one day to make sure we don't have it." "Count stuff another day because we have too much or not enough of something, but don't change the counts if it's too much." That fucking aggrivates me. Does any employer not do stupid, ridiculous shit like this, and then hold you accountable for it?I had more to add, but the hell with it tonight. I need to see what sleep feels like around this life. So with that I bid you GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3RendyCVvE |
| THE PROMPT: "TALK about the THREE Es of Writing & Reading" Good evening folks...sorry I'm late. Worked late and had to drive in the opposite direction to pick up justjessica1 from her store. I'm all driven out! Anyway, so about this prompt...I don't really know what the "THREE Es" of reading and writing are, and I'd like to get to bed at a reasonable hour, so I'm just gonna go with what I think they are. Geez, I spent a couple stints working at for a major bookstore chain, and never once was "THREE Es" mentioned. So here it goes... Eccentricity To write something on a level that others are going to want to read, or want to be interested in something enough to care to read it, the item in question should stand out from the crowd. Nobody's going to read the same types stories over and over if they're all the same. Something in the work has to stand out from everything else in the crowd, or it just gets lost on the stacks of shelves in the bookstore or buried in internet minutia. Emanate Does what you're writing (or reading) seem forced, or does it all flow cohesively? This is as important as the first "E", but for different reasons. It should sound like steam looks when rising from a pot of boiling water. It should linger with you like the odor of a dead skunk does in your nose long after you've passed it on the road. That's what good reads and good writing feel like. Ego Many of you may recall me touching on this topic in "Blog Challenges" in the past, and I think it's very true. People with creative minds and abilities that surpass the common human are more likely to find a proper venue to display their talents. These people would be actors, actresses, writers, artists, singers, musicians, photographers, and I would even include athletes in this mix. Now, why is ego important? Because you want to show off your talent, you want people to notice it, and you want to be liked for it. Think of anyone...author, musician, pro athlete, antone who's set for life because of their accomplishments. John Gresham probably doesn't have to write another sentence for the rest of his life. Paul McCartney doesn't need to write another song or step foot on a stage ever again. If Peyton Manning never takes another snap as a quarterback in the NFL...and never does a silly endorsement commercial either, it won't matter to him. But these folks are still out there, pimpin' their chosen craft. Not only because they love the game, but they love the attention that it gets them. And why is that ego? Because. Don't tell me it's to please their fans. Sure, maybe they want to add to their cache of funds. But more likely, they want to be loved all over for something new. That's why Gresham will hold book signings for his next release, McCartney will tour the globe for his latest album, and Manning is trying to make a comeback after missing an entire season. To be successful, no doubt, your ego plays a part in it. As long as you can keep it in check...and remember, it's not braggin' if you can back it up. MUSICAL BREAK!! Ahhhh, nothing is screaming for a musical interlude right now than this entry. Let's see what I can find... the reason for the discrepancy between the name of the actual song and the actual video shown? The drug reference (which may or may not be coincidental) in the actual title. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuQetcc2S-Q VITAL STATS: Slow day today. Not much to report, other than my (female) boss getting hit on by an overweight woman who called her "cute" and said "you look like you're 16!" and "I love what you've done to your hair!". All of which disgusted her enough to question her decisions in highlights, and, I'm assuming, her professional life as well.  Our store shares a parking lot with a mini strip plaza, a fast-food restaurant, a sit-down restaurant, and on the far side is a gym and a collections call center. Ladies, it's in the mid-30's, it's February, and it's Buffalo. When you're sickly thin, wearing a spandex half-tank and short spandex shorts, people are going to stare at you. It's a fact. Especially if you've been in the store for 10 minutes and you're still shivering. And you've got two metal studs sticking out of your back looking lonely on your bare skin because you haven't had your accompanying tramp stamp tatted on your lower back yet. Yeah, your outfit matched your shoes, and you might be cute, and maybe (I'm hoping) you came from the gym, but I'm telling you, this doesn't work in February. Especially with the pointless piercing. That's it for tonight, folks. I got other things to catch up on. As I'm sure you do as well, so let's part ways amicably for tonight, and I'll see ya all again tomorrow...or will I? Depends on what happens on this crazy February Leap Year Shennanigainery. Peace, love, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsWgOQcAIDs Maybe this solves the cookie concerns? |
| THE PROMPT: "RESOLVE all of the above ... CONCLUSION" Whoa! No reason to shout! "All caps"? Really? Anyway, welcome back friends for the conclusion of the non-blogging portion of this month's challenge. Let's do this up right, shall we? While The Dirtbombs and The Festoons were enjoying some time away from life as they were accustomed to for so long, The Floppositionists were attempting to take the Block Club to task. "Vee vould li-ike to zee mour houzes on zee block be so fannn-zy, like owww-ahhhz," purred an overly made-up Fortuna. Not to be outdone, Paolo added, "Yes. Dis neighboorhood needs to reflect on owarhh fine tasties. Vee pay zee taxzes. Vee has owarhh rights, you knows?" Fortuna fawned at her husband's remarks; Paolo stood firm in front of his seat, waiting to bang on the table if anyone so objected. The Block Club president, the seldom-seen in recent months Mr. Pantalones, acknowledged the couple with a nod, and proceeded to address The Flopportunists simultaneously while speaking to the crowd. "So, I don't get out much anymore, but it seems to the rest of the folks in attendance that you all are relatively new in town. Is that so?" Paolo and Fortuna looked at each other. Fortuna nodded to Paolo, and he turned back to Mr. Pantalones. "Yezzir, vhile vee may be newww to this aria az rezzidentially, vee're very vamiliar vith zee aria." Paolo looked back at Fortuna, and after a mutual nod, continued. "Vee believe tis best interest of the community vee live in to share in owahhr tinkings." Mr. Pantalones, not one to tolerate much in his community because, well, basically no one in his community was ever so adament about things the way The Floppositionists were, brushed it off. "Sir, you think that by movin' your fancy cars here and dollying up your house the way you did is gonna have an affect on this neighborhood?" Mr. Pantalones was starting to lose his democratic nature along with his breath. He continued anyway..."Now, what have you done with the people in this community, other than isolate yourselves from them?" Paolo couldn't bother to look at Fortuna before jumping into his response. "Vee arrrh zee exzample uv vhat zee community zhould be. Vee arrrh zucesses een all vee do. I has it backed up to videotape, alls vee has done in zis vorld. Please vatch, no?" Mr. Pantalones laughed. "Naw, fool. You've shown us enough already. Besides, VHS? That's the best you can do?" He couldn't keep himself from snickering at the thought...the Block Club hadn't even used a vcr in almost 10 years. "Let me tell you what...you people need to learn how to get along better with the people that were born, have lived, and will die here. Nobody- and I mean nobody- just comes along and throws their weight around without having to answer to the community. And the community comes before individuals around here. Got it?" Before The Floppositionists could even rebut, the rest in attendance stood up, clapping, cheering and whistling. Mr. Pantalones smiled as he took his chair; his exhale was relief in part of the stress this placed on him, and just the sheer need to sit down. From his chair, he stated that no final motions were necessary, and while he hated to cut the meeting short, he felt it was best to leave it at that. The meeting, on that note, was adjouned. Fortuna wasn't nearly as upset as she was angry. As they walked to their hybrid, many people noticed her slapping at the back of Paolo's head while she spoke quickly in a language no one seemed to understand. Some have blamed it on Paolo's choice of cologne. Others claim they've seen the couple grocery shopping, and saw Fortuna blow up at Paolo's choice of cookies. Nobody could say anything for sure, but for once, they didn't feel so ostracized and weird because of The Floppositionists' presence in the neighborhood. A few days later, The Dirtbombs and The Festoons were on their way back home from their vacation. Ed cocked his head in thought, looked at Grace, and asked, "Hey, you really weren't gonna invite those wackos from across the street over for dinner or anything, were ya?" Arch laughed. Ever living up to her name, Grace spoke very dilligently. "No, I just said that to get them out of our hair for a little bit. If they still persist, however, I may have to get a little kung-fu on them. They're just so...weird!" Everyone got a kick out of hearing Grace say something that didn't seem like it'd be something she'd say. Itsa mentioned the Block Club meeting. "Did you guys hear anything about it?" she asked The Dirtbombs. Ed and Grace shrugged, and Arch was like, "Who cares honey? We don't live there anymore!" The cabride back to The Festoons was over, and they exchanged bro-hugs and pleasantries. As Ed and Grace got in the car, Arch ran over and knocked on Ed's window. "Ed! Ed! ED!" That third "ED!" scared the shit outta him so much he nearly dumped his coffee on Grace, and Grace, in bracing for Ed to dump his own coffee, flinched enough to spill hers on the passenger side of the dashboard. Ed didn't even notice...he was still looking for the window button. "A week without being in your own vehicle kinda sucks," Ed thought to himself as he locked and unlocked the doors a few times, thinking he was opening the window. "Ed!" Once he got the window open, Arch was laughing at all that had just happened. He needed a minute to catch his breath. "Hey...hey man...that $20 I owe you? I-" In a rare mood of awesomeness, Ed said, "Man, don't worry about it. It all comes out in the wash eventually. Beers on you next time. Even?" Arch didn't hesitate. "Even!" And with that, The Dirtbombs pulled away. The ride home was unusally sunny for The Dirtbombs, at least for this time of year. As they rounded the corner of their street, something wasn't seeming right. Something was missing. Gone was the hybrid across the street. The shiny adornments, also missing. There was only one thing remaining in its place. A sign. "FOR SALE" Ed beamed. Grace was puzzled. "What's that smile all about?" she asked, with a smile sneaking off of her face. He couldn't wait to shut off the car and fish for his phone. "I gotta call Arch and thank him," he chirped, "for sneakin' that letter under ol' Mr. Pantalones' door!" Grace rolled her eyes. "Ohh, you boys." That concludes this month's serial festivities. MUSICAL BREAK!! A couple songs to attach to this tonight. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_5_AD9wXuY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w211KOQ5BMI&feature=artistob&playnext=1&list=TLkH... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkzVHer6B8A&ob=av2e VITAL STATS:  Today was the NHL's trading deadline. Never in my brief existance on Twitter have I wasted so much time on it. You all know this is one of my most favorite days of the year. I managed to bang out a few decent tweets and re-tweets. But that's neither here nor there. The Sabres made two late spashes at the deadline's deadline. It was expected that we'd move Paul "The Goose" Gaustad, but nobody figured Darcy would get a first round pick for him. He was rumored to go to Detroit, but Darcy shipped him and a 4th-round pick to Nashville for...a first rounder in 2012's draft. Damn...I think all of Hockey Heaven would've been satisfied with that...seeing how Goose can resign with the Sabres over the summer if he chooses. But then Darcy shocks us all and trades Zack Kassian (a tough, hard-hitting prospect who would've been up full-time with the big club next year) and Marc-Andre Gragnani (a spare d-man having an up-and-down year) to Vancouver for Cody Hodgson and prospect Alexander Sulzer. Early reports say the Sabres had one of the top 3 deadline-day runs this year. I'm behind it. I'll miss Goose for what he brings, and I'll miss Kass for his potential, but to get a center that can score (and this team needs it), I'm all for it. Plus, the draft cupboard is restocked, as the Sabres now own two first round picks and two second round picks in the upcoming draft, which Darcy can spin into upgrading his forwards. It brings me great pleasure to hashtag... #Darcydidsomething Hey, I totally forgot about the Quill Awards! I was gonna watch them! But it doesn't matter. All that matters is while I didn't take home the Quill for "Best Comedy" in 2011, I did nab the Honorable Mention for "Best Blog In 2011"! That's quite impressive! Special congrats to our pal/twin Julie D - PUBLISHED! for taking the Quill in that category...it's an honor to take the second place behind talent like that. I hope you've all been as fortunate as I have to have read what she does. And with that, I'm off to make some dinner. Just some pasta, nothing fancy. A deep breath and a side-note to all of the challengers in the 30-day blog challenge...it's nearly over. Congrats to all that have participated and made it this far. I think we're all looking forward to a break, finally. Peace everyone...GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNQEcTGkAgM |
| THE PROMPT: "OUTCOME of No.1 & No. 2." Welcome to the third segment of our lovely little suburan story. Let's see where this thing's gonna go, shall we? Ed's tone changed at the sight of The Festoons. "Hey guys! Come on in...we're just finishing up here with these folks. These are The Flopportunists...they moved in to your old place." Arch smiled and stuck out a big ol' paw of friendship in Paolo's direction, and again Paolo remained statuesque. "Alright bro, whatever." he said and turned to Ed, where they exchanged the customary bro-hug consisting of the usual handshake/one-armed hug combo. Itsa just kinda looked at Fortuna, brushed past her and gave Grace a hug. "Lee-sen, " Paolo stated more than anything, "affer zee Block Klub mee-eeting, ve vould liike to eatsa dinner at our hauss." He pointed over to their place as if to imply The Dirtbombs needed directions. Ed was a little miffed. "Hey, look pal, I know where ya live. And that's fine. But we're gonna be out of town." He began to make a little small talk with Arch and Itsa. Grace was, as always, a little more humble. "Thank you for the invitation, really, but we can't make it at this time. We really need a little time away, and some time to catch up with The Festoons." Sensing a little need for drama, Fortuna stepped back, took a deep breath, and wore a look on her face that read like any type of movement was foriegn to her. She mocked a gasp and spurted, "Vhat? Vay-cay-tion? But you cannot go on vay-cay-tion for Block Club mee-eeting!" She began to look nervous, at least for her looks, because her expressions rarely showed anything more. "Vee vill be there! Do you not vant to make vriends?" Ed had had enough. "Yeah, well, it was nice to meet you guys, but we gotta go. We've been planning this trip for a little while now, and we gotta tie up the final arrangements for the kids. Sitters and stuff. So why don't you guys go and we'll see what happens." Ed seemed satisfied that he had fulfilled his intentions on getting The Flopportunists off of his property for the night, at least. Grace, on the other hand, was a little more diplomatic, if only just to delay what might have been slightly inevitable. "We'll catch up when we come back. It was a pleasure to meet you both!" Paolo couldn't resist sticking a needle into the conversation. "Vee'll see," he sneered, pulled Fortuna around and stomped his way across the street. He stopped, turned his head, and said, "Vee'll be yaw vriends vhen you have zee time to be awahs." Fortuna just cackled like a cat with a speech impediment. Arch and Itsa kinda giggled. Itsa pondered rhetorically, "What was that all about, and what's wrong with them?" Ed chuckled as the four made their way into the house. Grace grabbed a few beers for the boys and two wineglasses; one for her and one for Itsa. "So, we'll get you when we drop the kids off, leave our car at your house, and take a taxi to the airport?" Itsa smiled with delight. "Sounds like a plan!" she chimed. "Now, who's ready for a ferocious game of Parcheesi?" The guys high-fived, and the night returned to normalcy. Meanwhile, across the street, The Floppositionists were plotting. Paint the house or take the bus to work? Make a baby or buy a pool? Cut the hair or get bigger heels? One decision always had to be balanced against something completely defying logic. But who was to argue with them, as that's where they found success in the past. "Don'nnt you vurry, babe-ee," said Paolo, stoically attempting to ease Fortuna's decision-making. "Vee vill be lie-eekd by zem. Vait to the Block Club mee-eeting. Vee vill be seen as vamous as vee are." Fortuna smiled. That was her physical expression of love, and even that was always tied into some underlying sense of something evil approaching. MUSICAL BREAK!! Soundtracking this little serial is slightly challenging...maybe a little more so than rattling off little segments for this story from the top of my head. But this tends to fit, so I'll roll with it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmsNdztgmSg VITAL STATS:  This is the most wonderful time of the year for me as a hockey fan...the NHL Trade Deadline is tomorrow at 3pm, and I'm as excited as a kid on Christmas Eve with the anticipation that the Sabres' general manager will do something to improve the team. It's been a disappointing year...fans had high expectations going into the season, given the change in ownership and the flurry of acquisitions in the off-season (something we all were kinda not familiar with as a fanbase). I'm fortunate enough to have today and tomorrow off, so I can spend the next 24 hours or so waiting to see what will or won't go down, who goes where, what happens, and disecting the analysis afterwards. Then I'm screwed the rest of the week, as the Sabres open up a west coast roadie where most of the games won't start until 10pm on the east coast. That said, with two days off, I've been saddled with chores. One is to strip the bedsheets. Which is all well and good, but Jess is the one who usually makes the bed. What happens if I strip the bed and I want to sleep before she gets home from work tonight, which might not be until 11pm or later? The pundits will tell me to sheet the bed myself...but you don't know the perfectionism this woman puts into certain things. And if I make the bed and it's not up to her standards, and once I'm asleep I don't wake up until morning, I don't know what that could lead to. Ohhh, the conundrum.That's all for today, but hold on...since the story is supposed to end tomorrow, I might just tie it up a little later. The purpose? To give me more time tomorrow to do the rest of my chores and soak up NHL coverage. Unlikely? Yeah, probably, but ya never know. Otherwise, I'll see ya tomorrow with the unbloggly conclusion to the serial story. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=_QZslmBnbIo |
| THE PROMPT: "WRITE ABOUT --- What happens between The Dirtbombs, The Floppositionists, and The Festoons." Good evening, friends. Welcome to the second part of the "Blog Challenge"'s month-end wrap-up serial section. This untitled pride of joy I'm popping out is about to get interesting. At least, I hope it does. The next day, Ed came home from work and tossed his keys disgustedly at the kitchen counter. This startled Grace, as she nearly fell on her ass trying to save the pork roast she was about to put in the oven. "Nice save" he grumbled. In her infinite wisdom, she held her thoughts enough just to let out a thanks, and asked, "What the hell is your problem?" "Well," Ed huffed, "I met one Mrs. Fortuna Floppositionist. Why didn't you get gas last night when you went grocery shopping?" Ed's breathing started to get heavy. Grace shrugged and said, "Well, I only had enough cash on me to get the roast for tonight. Remember, I gave you the bank card the other day so you could get money out for the bar? So it was either gas or the roast. Why?" She looked a little lost. "Because I had to stop and get gas, and that's where I ran into Fortuna." Ed's eyes were growing wider. "Filling up her stupid hybrid even! Can you believe it??" "Ed, relax." Grace's voice of reason was again about to talk Ed off of the proverbial ledge. " Those cars take gas too, ya know." Ed rolled his eyes and raised his voice, as if he knew it all, and raved about "how these cars run on electricity first and switch to gas, and maybe they should charge their fancy car more often." Grace nodded and went back to mashing the potatoes, making sure they were extra-mashed. Ed continued on. "She told me they don't like to waste the electricity! Then why buy the damn thing??" Grace just shook her head. After a wonderful dinner, Ed was settled into his evening when he was startled by the ringing doorbell. "Honey, would you get that?" She was already in the kitchen cleaning up, so he figured why not let her answer the door too? As Grace had made her way to the door, her foot made the rug slide a little underneath her, creating an almost skateboard-like effect as she rode the rug to the door. She steadied herself to see larger-than-life versions of the strangers across the street, Paolo and Fortuna Floppositionist. Grace couldn't believe her eyes...they looked so much different up close than they did from across the street. "Hi!" She sung, hoping they didn't notice her ghetto-ballet act on the way to the screen door. "You must be The Floppositionists! Come on in! My name's Grace, and this is my husband, Ed." Through the stoic expression on her face, Fortuna managed to say ,"No. Ve stay here-ah. Ve just come to say velcome to li-veen across zay ztreet in be-tween ussss." Paolo nodded and added, "Yell-o, nayyyy-bor peepul." Grace's face glossed over, and she could only manage to welcome them back. Thinking it might be The Festoons, Ed set his beer down and sprung from his chair. He'd just remembered they were stopping by to discuss their vacation plans. Excited, he eclaimed, "Arch! Itsa! Come on in!" The Floppositionists just stared. "Messer Ed, nyyyce to zee you again" replied a very unflappable Fortuna. Ed nodded and extended a hand while asking "And who're you?" to Paolo. Paolo didn't flinch. He merely said, "Paolo. A-cross my ztreet." Or, in other words, gave Ed an invitation to snap. "Sir," Ed howled, "where I'm from, which happens to be this street, gentlemen shake hands. Now you can-" Ahhh, the voice of reason, showing up just in time. Grace interrupted Ed by saying, "Now boys, relax...what can we do for you?" Paolo kinda sneered at Ed as Fortuna announced, "Veeee vood like for you to diiiiine vith us vone day." Just then, The Dirthbombs' youngest daughter, Titania, bounced into the kitchen. "Momma? Daddy? Why is it so noisy? Is daddy mad?" Grace said, "No, honey, daddy's fine. We're just talking to the neighbors!" Titania seemed to understand. "Oh, ok. Hi neighbors!" And with that, she sped away to her room. The Floppositionists were not impressed. At least, no one would've thought they were, judging by the looks on their faces. Just as Ed was about to say something he'd likely regret, his glare turned to the station wagon pulling into his yard. The Festoons had finally arrived. MUSICAL BREAK!! Eh, after nearly boring myself to sleep writng a serial entry, here's the song that's stuck in my head: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p4RWBCEFRo VITAL STATS: It's all deuces late in the 3rd between the Sabres and the Rangers, in what's been an exciting game so far. Sloppy Joe Casserole for dinner! So easy to make, even Julie D - PUBLISHED! 's husband can make it! Here's the recipe... http://www.pillsbury.com/recipes/sloppy-joe-casserole/35b13486-3d38-4739-b61b-32... We also added shredded cheddar cheese on top before adding the biscuits. That's it for tonight...gonna catch the overtime portion of the Sabres game and figure out what I might do for tomorrow's part of the serial. See ya then...peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2AIqYVZ7gc |
| THE PROMPT: "The Finch-Martins were a popular, ___________ family until they met the ______________(s)" Good evening fine people. It's that time of the month again. I'll spare you all some of the crude humor associated with that last sentence. I won't even whine about it. Y'all pretty much know how I feel about this silly game of non-blogging within a blog. But it's cool. I'll put on my big-boy pants and act like I'm concerned. Here we go. The Dirtbombs were a popular, if not particularly proper, family. At least they were, until they met their new neighbors, The Floppositionists. Ed and Grace Dirtbomb had the "new millenium" typical American family: Sure, they weren't the brightest, they didn't make the most money and they didn't have the greatest kids. But they all had heart, spirit, sense and perseverance. They were honest and well-intentioned; rough around the edges but supportive and dedicated. They were fighters, and the neighborhood folks took a natural liking to them. The Floppositionists, who moved in recently just across the street from The Dirtbombs, seemed normal at first. They kept to themselves and were hard to get a read on. Their lawn was perfect...it seemed like they never had to mow it. Pleasantries were hard to exchange even in passing because there really wasn't any passing. Through the window The Dirtbombs could see the well-dressed couple move from vehicle to door and back again once in awhile. After a few weeks, Ed looked at Grace, who was always very sociable with the other neighbors, and asked, "Gracie, do you even know their names?" Grace thought for a moment, cocked her head and said, "Ya know what? No...I really haven't had an opportunity to welcome them to our street." This seemed to puzzle her, until she realized their paths hadn't crossed yet. "I'd say hi to them," she said, "and I'd give them a chance. They're probably new to the area." Ed was non-plussed. "Yeah, well, they kinda creep me out. They seem so secretive and stuff. And those cars...those freakin' hybrids! Who do they think they are movin' into our neighborhood with that? Aren't they afraid someone might steal them, or break in to their house? I mean, you can see the 60" tv right in their living room. What do they do? They're gone all day and then stay up all night. And I swear, if that dude stares blankly at me one more time when I wave hello to him, I'm gonna-" "Honey, calm down!" Grace said, always Ed's voice of reason. "You're ranting again! The kids are gonna wonder...little Ndugu didn't eat for a week when he thought we were getting a divorce because you were so upset! It took all I could to convince him that you were really just hurt that The Festoons sold their house and that you weren't gonna see your buddy anymore, and that Arch still owed you $20 for that bet about the teaspoon of cinnamon." "Yeah, well, I just don't get those Floppositionists," Ed said in a disappointed, hushed tone. "We'll see if they're at the Block Club meeting next month. And that bastard! Why'd ya have to remind me about Arch? Maybe I'll-" Ed's growling was again cut off by his voice of reason and the flipping of the calendar's pages. Grace, relaxed as ever, turned to Ed and reminded him that the next meeting was on the first of the month...or the second day they'd be on their vacation. With The Festoons. MUSICAL BREAK!! It's not really related to the story, but it provided the inspiration for Ed's son's name. "I have a mission, I have a goal, that's why." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgodBXsTf6o VITAL STATS:  Yup, justjessica1's at it again. She's got her ladyfriends over and it's a candle party. Damn. She needs to look at the Sabres' schedule before she plans these things. I swear, between her and her friends, they all sell different stuff. Jess has handbags and stuff like that, one's got candles, and one's got food. Can one of them sell beer and beef jerky? Cuz I'd be all about that party being hosted in our house. Eh, well, on the plus side, I get to make a meal out of dips and cheeses and crackers and pepperoni and beer, while Jess makes a few extra bucks on the side. That, my friends, is what we call a "win-win situation" in these parts.  That said, I'm a little afraid to go upstairs right now. Ya know how there's that smell of dust burning for a couple minutes after you turn on a space heater that's been sitting for a day or two unused? Well, whatever smells I'm smelling that have wafted down into the basement from the sacrifice of candles upstairs has totally usurped the space heater. And the one time I looked in on the happenings, there were a lot of different pieces of wax that had flames coming from them. This can't be good for the fabric in any home. Jess' reminder yesterday that she was having a party tonight (what guy can actually claim to remember any of this stuff?) immediately prompted me to bust out the infamous Biz Markie non-lyric in this song...plus it's a fantastic excuse to post it. http://www.wat.tv/audio/03-boys-makin-with-the-freak-9vpr_2j7ez_.html Hope that link works...it's the imported version, so bear with the non-English at the beginning...damn shame it's not available on YouTube. Speaking of all these girls selling all this different stuff, can we get a reality tv show about it? Hollywood TV execs, are ya feelin' me? "Chicks Sellin' Stuff Wars"? "Home Sales Parties"? We'll get the behind-the-scenes footage of all these girls setting up their parties and inviting all of the other different party hosts, and let all the action unfold. And can I play the supportive significant other, who helps a little with the party set-up, then retreats to his ManCave, only to resurface after the "party" has started to make himself a meal of their snacks and wine? I think I might be good at that role. Hollywood, I'm on line 1. And yes, I'll hold. And that's my cue...the party has started clearing out and I'm ready to start hitting the snack trays again. Tomorrow I'll unveil part two of our little serial. Not that I had a plan in mind or anything. Cuz I didn't. I do my best work under pressure. Oh, and by "unveil", I mean "build off of the shit you just made up". So until then, have a great night and a greater tomorrow....peace out homies, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_X8i8zbCYQ |
| THE PROMPT: "Say you either lost the mental capability to write (by losing interest or no longer being able to write otherwise)...what would you do? Or, how would you cope with having to urge to write a lot, but not having the use of your hands?" Wow, what a day folks...there's a lot to get to, so I'll get the prompt out of the way. Considering I came up with it last night, I've had a little time to ponder it. Writing almost comes as second nature to me. It always has been. Even back in my days of schooling, while the others dreaded writing anything in English class, I was secretly smiling inside and already plotting my words. So to lose something that seems to come as natural to me as thinking or breathing...wow. It'd be devastating. Now, I don't spend as much time on WDC as I used to. Basically, I check a few emails, bang out an entry, check a few other blogs out, and retire from the site for the day. If I'm off work, maybe I spend a little more time, check out a few more items, or come back a few times throughout the day if I'm not actually having any kind of life to live on that day. So let's just say on the average day, I'm here actively for about an hour, and then in the midst of doing other things I'll leave this tab up and hover back and forth. That's one more hour or so in my life dedicated to something else, I figure. Also, losing interest wouldn't necessarily kill my writing. It's evidenced by the fact that I haven't written a solid poem (one I would consider myself to be happy with) in maybe four or five years. I don't think it's any coincidence that it's around the time I started blogging. So I guess if I were losing interest, maybe I'd switch things up and see what happens. Hell, that's how I pretty much ended up right where you're reading me now...I lost interest in that blog, it got boring, life circumstances changed, I took some time off, and here's where your eyes and my words now intersect. And we're all better for it .But say I was physically no longer capable to write. Damn. I'd be physically incapable of doing so much more also, coupled with this burning desire in my limp fingers to actually create something. To not be able to hold a pen...to not be able to type...I don't even know what I would do. Or do I? It so may not do me any good right now, especially if this software no longer exists, but it kinda should still, in some form or another...a few years ago I had one of those miniature voice recorders from Sony, and it was fantastic! It came with software that I never really bothered to play with much, made by a company called Dragon, and that software was Naturally Speaking. Basically, you plugged your recorder into your computer, uploaded your voice files, and Dragon's software would learn your voice and transcibe your notes. Pretty neat, huh? Although, if I had no fingers, it'd still be all of a big ol' pain in the ass to find the work-arounds. However, assuming I would never be on my own, I could probably get someone to help me out with the stuff I would have to touch. Good thing I'm not a crazy germophobe . Now, that's all assuming that this technology exists in some way, shape or form. If it didn't, wow...karma must've really felt I needed an ass-whoopin' for making my words say what they say. I'd probably then be given the gift of having a Pullitzer, a Nobel Prize or two, and several Quill Awards all written in my head, with no way to unlock them. Wow, that would suck. So yeah, not having hands? The second-worst part of it would be not being able to communicate the way I want to in that respect. The actual worst part? Naw, man, c'mon. You really don't need to know. MUSICAL BREAK!! Perhaps I should've put more thought into this portion of the entry when coming up with this prompt. Ugh. Decision time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyX-Vl5Di6U http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=LkX5LaVicUs VITAL STATS:  So, what's going on with the "Blog Challenge" forum? I get this email, ok, it's the same email all the group members got, that says I'm now an administrator of the forum. Only, Earl keeps referring to me as "Michael", and that's definitely not my name. Surely he's referring to Thundersbeard 30DBC JULY HOST ? Right? His name's Michael. Then I get an email from Julie D - PUBLISHED! , asking when I changed my name. Then a few more emails about it, including one from Michael himself. All I can say is thank God for the clarification, and yeah, I nearly did have a heart attack. Not that it doesn't seem like an interesting challenge, but man, that forum is a tire fire now. And I don't think it's ever gonna be the same. Besides, while I'm known for my ability to play nice with almost everyone in any given scenario, I don't see that forum being one of them. And if you think this point is about you, it probably is . The hilarious point? As of this moment, I think I have admin functions open to me. Not that I'd even know what they are besides the changes I already see, but whatever. Why would I wanna screw with anything? Oh yes, the Quill Awards, as I mentioned up above. If you haven't heard, I've been nominated for two awards at WDC's most prestigious ceremony! Please take a minute and check out the nominees here: "Invalid Item" . You'll find me under "Best Blog" and "Best Comedy". And if you'd be so kind, take a second to stop here and vote for me at: "Invalid Item" . And for all of those who aren't WDC members but still follow this piece of internet pastry, take a second to sign up for a free WDC account so you can vote for me, or everyone else but me in the categories I'm nominated in. And while you're in the electoral mood, you'll notice Julie D - PUBLISHED! 's name all over the nominations...vote for her too! But hurry!! The deadline for voting is tonight at one minute before midnight, WDC time. Sorry, there wasn't much of a window open to vote in, and I forgot to mention this little flaming nugget of info yesterday. My bad! Besides, who needs to win a "Blog Challenge" when you can have the "Best Blog Of 2011" trophy chillin' on your virtual mantle? Recap: Quill awards voting ends tonight at 11:59pm. Vote! And if you're not a member of writing.com, sign up for free here: http://www.writing.com/main/books/action/view/entry_id/101_get_started#top, and then vote for me using the links I've provided up above. Simple! Ok, that's all I have for you tonight. Gonna cross my fingers and dot my eyes and brush my teeth and say my prayers...Quill winners will be announced before the end of February, and if you're not taking part of the virtual ceremony, I'll keep you posted. That's it. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIeoQKoTp-U |
| THE PROMPT: "WEATHER THE STORM" Good evening, friends! Quite the appropriate prompt for the evening, seeing how we've been hit with a few inches of massive snowflakes over the last few hours. Not the soft, pretty snow that falls every once in awhile that encourages you to stick your tongue out and catch a few flakes. Nope, not this time of year. It's the big, wet, clunky stuff that makes you need to shovel your walkway every ten minutes, and instead of sticking your tongue out, you're sticking out your middle finger at your neighbor, who's either snowblowing his driveway at 6am or shooting snow from his driveway into yours. Or both. In other words I'm gonna type related to the prompt, it's vague, which is nice. Leave me a lot of room to work with. Although you know what they say...give 'em someone enough rope, and they'll eventually hang themself. We'll see. Weathering the storm...a pretty common theme in my life. Sometimes it seems like it's winter 24/7/365 with all the storms I've weathered. And maybe it's not actually fair to those who have it a lot worse than I do, but yeah, I wear my damage more on the inside than I do on the outside. Wait a minute...maybe then that's not fair to me? Hmmm... We've all seen those Facebook status updates where someone writes "If you know someone is suffering from this, that or the other thing, let them know they're not alone by posting this as your status for one hour. 97% of my real friends won't do it, but the few that do will be rewarded in heaven with a seat next to St. Peter. Remember, I'll be watching! And NO LIKES!!". There's ones I've seen about depression, mental illnesses, and all sorts of other maladies ending in -ioma. I chuckle at it, because it's Facebook, but it's true. There are many hidden illnesses out there that you don't see. You just assume the person is fine and going on with his or her day. There's no limp, no speech impediment, no casts, and there's no indicator that this person could be hurting (or in a position to hurt you) a lot more than you'll ever be aware of. And that's sad. And I still struggle from time to time with my own depression, even though from the outside my life seems great. And it is, for the most part. I still internalize a lot of things. I'm still my worst enemy and critic. I notice and take to heart my faults more than anyone else. And I'll be damned if I ever can find an answer why. But it's who I am, and since I know that, I can make the best of it, even on days or even moments when it's very difficult for me to see outside of the jumbled clouds of thought in my head. Every damn day sometimes, it feels like there's somethin' kickin' the bruises on my brain. And every morning that I can open my eyes and look at the ceiling, put two feet on the ground, look at my beautiful girlfriend and live in our house, well, damn, that's how I know I've weathered the storm. It doesn't always prepare me for the next one, but neither does the weatherman either. MUSICAL BREAK!! I can get behind this once in awhile. It works for me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhZTNgAs4Fc&ob=av2n And this one too. Not that I've ever really dabbled in the hardcore stuff or anything, but none of the less-harsh stuff really did anything for me either. And pharmaceuticals? Forget it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToQ0n3itoII&ob=av2e Sorry to bring down the house with that one . Hey, in order for the laughter to begin again, it has to go away for awhile, right? Cuz that's life.VITAL STATS: So, who postpones a doctor's appointment because he's sick?  This guy. Yup, I wasn't trying to make that half hour drive down the thruway into the city the way this stomach was processing things this morning. Last week I was bitching about not having enough people to work with on my night. Today, it was the total opposite problem. And it's a good problem to have. Give 'em something to do that frees up more time for me to do things, and everyone's happy. Coupled with a nice snowstorm, and that's a recipe for a slow night, which means work gets done, a clean and neat store, and I get the chance to leave a few minutes earlier because I'm not rushing to make it clean and neat, nor am I trying to get all the money counted and figuring out where I screwed up or wondering what I'm forgetting. On the minus side, however, what the hell is wrong with people who can't use a toilet properly? I mean, seriously, when you sit down on a toilet, you basically create a seal with your ass, which is aiming to put the waste downward into a porcelain bowl filled with water, and by exerting the slightest pressure on a handle, it all goes away and the next person has fresh water to do their thing with. There should be no #2 anywhere else but in the bowl, save for a little explosiveness around the rim and maybe under the seat. Never, under any circumstances, is it ok to leave wet ass drippings on the floor, not semi-solid poop smears on the wall. EVER. We have specifically addressed this issue of people shitting their pants on the sales floor by leaving the bathrooms unlocked now, so they don't have to wait for someone with keys or a code to unlock them. If I could make it to a toilet at any and every time I needed one this morning and afternoon, so can you. I shouldn't need a mop to clean up a toilet, and one of my cashiers shouldn't have to ask me four hours later if we found a dead body in the bathroom. See some of the shit that I put up with on a daily basis? I don't recall in the interview them saying "stall jockey" when going over my job description. Sorry to leave you on such a shitty note, but, well, there are days like that. Sometimes it's a snowstorm you've gotta weather, and sometimes it's a shitstorm. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk6M1gqV-0A  |
| THE PROMPT: "Ambrosia, according to Wikipedia, is the food or drink of the gods. In some stories, Ambrosia is the food and Nectar is the drink, while in other stories, Nectar is the food and Ambrosia is the drink; in other stories, the terms are interchangeable. In either case, Ambrosia is the food that the Greek gods either consume or create for various purposes. In addition to mythology, Ambrosia also has a place in cooking as either a fruit salad or a cake using yogurt, fruit, whipped cream, and a store-bought angel food cake. Write a story about it, a recipe for it, or something else about Ambrosia." Wait, what? Damn people. I'm not up to speed on my knowledge of Greek Gods, and I probably haven't had Ambrosia in dessert form in thirty years. And I'm only 36! So how the hell am I supposed to say anything relevant to this prompt? Arrrrrgh! Again!! People, aren't we all a little smarter than this? Make the damn prompt general enough so we all can participate in a friendly way, so I don't have to rant. Or worse...plagiarize.  Shit, it'd be easy to copy and paste this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYJGfrKQ7nU and call it a entry. But I can't, and yes, I am above that. And while I have a soft spot in my heart for super-cheesy eighties soft rock, this song lies slightly to the underside of that. Sorry...had to live up to my status as a complaining male. So, Ambrosia, as I remember it? A bunch of fruits that may or may not belong together, in a "salad" held together by tapioca and marshmallows, and topped with whipped cream. Hmmm...seems vaguely familiar to something else I know. And equally gross. No wonder the eighties were so unpleasant. One of my first memories in the eighties was learning how to play baseball at a family party that served, among other salads and burgers and hotdogs, Ambrosia. Now, imagine if my upcoming prompt was about Pistachio Pudding, and how wonderful it is. But you have an allergy to nuts. Are you gonna wanna share the story about how when you were five, and had Pistachio Pudding for the first time, and got rushed to the hospital because you were swolen near death? I don't think so...and there's hardly a cheesy eighties song that can go along with that. MUSICAL BREAK!! You want cheesy eighties music? YOU GET IT. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWdZEumNRmI&ob=av2e http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7MwgByxPs8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzIbyDbmsyg&ob=av2n You might have to turn the volume up on your device of choice for viewing these clips...and remember, they were probably uploaded to YouTube from old VHS tapes, so that's as good as it gets. VITAL STATS: So, a customer gave me a $3 tip at work today for putting together her personal shopping cart. You know, those carts that bag ladies haul their lives' worth around in? That are, ummm, filled with bags? Well, this woman was not one of those women. She just must not have had the extra 15 seconds it took to complete the "easy, 15 second installation"; ie, snapping the two wheels into the posts until the click. Lemme bust out a calculator...if I got paid three dollars for 15 seconds of work, I'd net a salary of $720/hr. Assuming I'd work 40 hrs./wk., we're talking $28,800 (or more than I make in a year currently). Play that out over a year, and it's $1,497,600. Hell, it's good work if you can get it. Sabres game...up 1-0 after one. Still an outside shot at the playoffs. Not looking good though.And I'm gonna head on out of here for a bite to eat and try to enjoy the game. It's not often I have a Tuesday night off...and that's a big night for hockey, I guess. For me, it is...it seems I always miss games played on Tuesdays. Not tonight . Of course, my tune could change if they blow this one. As for the rest of you, well, make the best of it. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!http://www.youtube.com/user/wonderfulpistachios#p/c/AB77EBB3005EAA31/4/zTttQ98Jn... |
| THE PROMPT: "RECIPE FOR A WINTER DAY" Good evening friends, followers, subscribers, and whatnot. You could be anyplace else, doing more important things, but you're here right now, and I appreciate that. I myself should be doing more important things as well...like taking out the garbage, or taking a shower so I don't have to get up quite as early in the morning, or playing down my tickets in Madden NFL Superstars. But seeing how this is a "challenge", albeit unofficial, I'll take a few minutes out of my day to wrestle with it. Only, I'm not sure what specifics the judge is looking for. Something good to cook on a wintry day? Or what kind of precipitation and weather trends go into the making of a day between Dec. 21 and Mar. 21? Knowing the way this contest has unfolded over the last few weeks, it probably means something entirely different. Which is ok...I'm probably disqualified from it anyway, even though there's maybe three or four others now currently still participating in it. So I'll do what I do best, and leave it up to myself to figure out the happy medium. I live in Buffalo, which is world-renowned for its accumulation of snow. However, this year has got to be, in my 36 years of existence, the least wintry of all winters. And you won't hear a complaint outta me...you can keep your snow and cold and slush. I'm a summer baby through and through. We've had maybe two big snowfalls this year, and it's almost March. Proof of those snowfalls were gone in a day or two, when the temps jumped back up. Last year we didn't make it through December without ridiculous snowfalls that crippled the area. We've been lucky this year. So this is the best I have to offer to the prompt. The quote under the picture at the top says it all. http://www.forgottenbuffalo.com/forgottenbflofeatures/jimmygriffin19292008.html MUSICAL BREAK!! The greatest frontman in the history of Canadian music is doing his thing. Youtube lists it as "Yer Possessed", but that's not it. It's an electrified version of "Who By Rote" followed by "Drowning Machine". Mr. Downie is Canadian music's greatest living treasure...a poet and showman all in his own class. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh1CBch_6AU VITAL STATS: When your co-workers text you on your day off just to tell you a few regulars say hi, you know you've got something special going on. Even if one of those regulars touched you wrong in the past. Shockingly, some of the posts on the "30-Day Blog Challenge" forum have been removed. This comes as no surprise. We get the vanity project that the challenge has become for the hostess-in-charge. We see how it has went. Many have felt alienated, if not worse. The mere integrity of the challenge itself has been compromised. Idiocity reigns. Luckily, we have other options. But man, this round is damn near the worst thing I've ever been involved with on this site. Check that..it is the worst thing ever.And with that, I've got time to waste, so I'll leave you all be. I'll be taking cues from the late mayor of our once-great city, minus the snow and football. Well, maybe not the football. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVaZnBO-YMg |
| THE PROMPT: "In the shadow of my mind where I weigh somethings so fine." Happy Sunday everyone...it's also Hockey Day in America ! Let's see what I can do with this interesting prompt, shall we?In the shadows of my mind where I weigh some things so fine, the real beauty lurks in the details, not design. The total volume of work is only as impressive as what is inside its suggestions. The way we can have it all and still have nothing only means we're still missing something and I am only as smart as I imagine if I do nothing to shed light on my companions who help bring me along my way. May your light bring the sun to my day. In the shadows of my mind where I weigh some things so fine, it's not what we lose as much as what we find. There you go. Again, not my best work, but whatever. Go figure...I finally get a good prompt to work with, and I throw up all over it. Truth is, I could probably turn out something really good, but it's hard to write while being distracted. I don't watch much tv outside of football and hockey, but Celebrity Apprentice is on, and that is about the only trash on tv I'll subject myself to. MUSICAL BREAK!! Hmmm...what do we have today? Let's see... yeah, this works. The lyrics are included and I've always liked this song, but I never really paid attention to them. I think it's useful. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lm38Ojh61lY But that doesn't mean I'll understand what it means. VITAL STATS: Hockey Day In America! And my boys in Blue and Gold showed up in a big way by thumping the Penguins in front of a national tv audience. Good show, boys...if only you were in the hunt for a playoff spot. As I was telling justjessica1 that I was throwing up on the prompt while watching tv, she was like, "Well, it's pretty awesome that you can just throw up [and she makes a hand gesture from her mouth to her laptop's screen] and it's right there!". I then realized how long it was taking me to come up with what I eventually came up with, and no, it wasn't "throwing up on the prompt". It was more like dry-heaving and wanting to puke so bad but not being able to just so I could stop feeling awful, as opposed to throwing up and feeling better and having a few more beers. But really, this was a great prompt and I'm going to keep it in mind for awhile to see if I can mine it for anything down the road.That's really it for today...terribly lazy Sunday otherwise. A matinee hockey game will do that to ya. Hope yours was good...peace, love, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.thelonelyisland.com/video/lazy-sunday  |
| THE PROMPT: "Get out your old notebooks (or those stone tablets you used to write on when you were neighbors with Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone) and read them. After that, pick one of the characters, and write a brief Profile of them. List their Name, Occupation, Gender, Sexual Orientation (optional) and anything else you can think of. After that, write a short story about them, 2000 words, or less, (or more), though you don’t need to put down the word Count." Good evening friends...sorry for the late entry. Life happens while you're figuring out creative ways to explain why this prompt does me no good. I never wrote stories. Well, at least any I cared to complete or save. I wrote poems. Why? Because that stuff felt more natural to me. My works seldom had characters other than myself...and most of them now don't merit the promotion anyway. But, in the spirit of competition and being a good sport, here's your entry.Name: Me, that's who. Occupation: Blastmaster at the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" Gender: Complaining Male Sexual Orientation: Due North Anything Else: If you have to ask, you'll never know. Here's a little story I'd like to share about a guy named me, known everywhere. I do what I like, and I say what I say, and if you don't like it then that's ok. Been here 10 years, which is quite awhile, and I prefer to make the folks smile. See this little blog? It's the place where I post my words in front of your face. Some people challenge, and some have merit. Others like to front and it's very apparent. If you read this and cop a stance like you think that it's your chance to say a lot of things that don't make sense, don't be surprised how your story ends. It's not about the game but how you finish. Don't let your legacy be diminished. It's not a warning; it's the truth. Ask me all about it cuz I've seen the proof. It's like this y'all, and like that y'all. If you smoke crack on the internet, it's wack y'all. And thus concludes the story of my character. You can't read it in a book or see it on the tv. You can't download it either. You can only get it at my location. Get yo'self some!! MUSICAL BREAK!! Yeah, that was the best thing I've ever written . Not quite. Anyway...I haven't heard this golden nugget in awhile and for some reason it popped into my head earlier today. It's got something in it...one of those tones. The kind that stick in your head. Might be the spare keyboard tinkles I think...at least it is for me. And I'll probably be the only one who understands it, but that's ok, because sometimes that's all that matters. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fZh0fWhfBYVITAL STATS: Why can't all of the systems at work still be down on days that I don't wanna come in? From the "I Got The Mic And You Got The Moshpit" diaries, I might just create a document from the last few days' worth of posts on the "30-day Blog Challenge" forum regarding the the announcement of winners for January, just so I can print it, frame it, and hang it on my fridge and giggle. Maybe I'll just post a written transcript, so you all can read it without the annoying staggering and clicking onto the next post. The context that way might be a lot funnier. Sabres game tomorrow at 12:30pm. I forgot what it was like to watch meaningless sports events while the sun is still out. And I can't take it anymore tonight, so I'm getting outta here. Might read a little...we'll see. Nowadays, I don't even know much about anything anymore around here. And a big part of me is ok with that. Just be ok with yourselves, and the world will keep spinnin'. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PBy3Lwi4Lo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1sg16Dy1BY |
| THE PROMPT: "An anonymous valentine." Good evening, good people. Curious prompt, given that it's already a few days after Valentine's Day. And I'm not known for my penchant of being anonymous, so allow me to satisfy the prompt in the only way I know how...from me. Dear Anonymous, I don't think you need to hear me send you my regards. If you felt the need to solicit them, after the fact that this cheesy Hallmark holiday has already passed, then something is clearly wrong. Ummm, with you. See, if I wanted to wish you a happy Valentine's Day, I would've. But you've chosen to have me send you one anyway. I find that to be a little selfish and a lot more self-serving. I refer this to the same type of people who feel that they have to point out how funny, attractive, or intelligent they are...if they have to be the one to tell you so, even before you've had the chance to figure it out, well, then they probably aren't funny, attractive, or smart (or any adjective of their choosing when referencing themself). Furthermore, you needn't thank me for my lack of a proper Valentine greeting. It's getting late, and the chimpanzees in the basement need to be fed. I originally hired them to see if they actually could type Shakespeare plays on the computer, but lately they've been translating unnecessary and undecipherable emails and other blatherings on my laptop that seem to keep slipping past my junk filters and anti-virus software. You've always got to stay vigilant to keep these things at bay, or else the terrorists win...again. So instead, I'll offer my condolences in lieu of flowers this year. While discouraged by your faceless and nameless claims, as well as your unsightly indiscretions and terrifyingly sad attempts at life and how it's used to discourage and debase others, I must admit I find myself staring at you much the way I rubberneck at a car crash. I suppose I should apologize for that, but there's enough water under the burnt bridge for me to grab onto a slab of wood and float away, shaking my head like "This just actually happened?". May the slavation of love find you elsewhere. Best wishes, This guy. MUSICAL BREAK!! Dear Valentine Anon, please accept these samples of tuneage as a token of your deep infestation of weirdness. Creeper. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VPXlalP2YU http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KEpExTCX4k http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hhu-OyHqZM VITAL STATS: All in the name of wellness at retail hell today, welllllll...there's talk of cuts at work regarding management positions. These aren't expected to be fully implemented until 2014, but when I tried logging into the system this morning, all systems were down. And I mean all of them. The inventory system, the pharmacy system, the registers, the credit cards and gift cards, photo functions, you name it. The timeclock (which, ironically, likes to go down once or twice a month) worked. The bathrooms worked. And we had electricity. And that's it. And according to tech support, the one register we had in operation for cash-only transactions should've been down too. And since my position relies on almost all of those things being operable (primarily the inventory portion), I was not capable of being useful in my normal capacity today. So I had to do work above my position instead. I didn't sign up for that...in fact, I backed out of it before, because I'm not good at that kinda stuff. And true to past form (and with blessings), I don't think I did a very good job. justjessica1 was nominated for a local edition of Who's Who In Management And Professionals (and i don't know if I got that title right). Yay baby! I knew they did that for students, but for the poor souls who troll the aisles in retail? Never knew. It's almost spring...an appropriate fish fry dinner was in order. http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/42/1499991/restaurant/Buffalo/R-Js-Pizzeria-Lancaste... Madden Superstars time on Facebook. Sabres blew it in a shootout. Can't hold a lead. Can't win a game...against a team that traded a veteran D-man. Ugh. Oooohhh Aaahhh Sabres on the golf course! (That's a play on some old jingle from waaaaaaay back...OOH AHH! Sabres on the Warpath!)And with that I'm outta here. Gotta send a shout-out to the winners of the January "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . Good on 'em  . And good on my chimps for being able to type that for me! Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dNkf6uFZIs |
| THE PROMPT: "If you were to kill your Mother-in-Law (or some other annoying relative) how would you do it, so that the death would either look like an accident, or that someone else had done the deed, leaving you to inherit the person’s money?” Or, if you don’t wish to think/write about committing homicide, here is the alternative prompt- “What is the best way to gain the In-laws’ acceptance of you, so that you have a good relationship with them?- And that you don’t think about killing them.” Geez, what a mouthful. Well, what's good, friends? Yup, same ol' same ol' 'round here, so if you'll allow me, I'll just jump right in. It's probably not in my best interests to discuss the killing of anyone...once that knowledge gets into the hands of the authorities, you have to worry about that whole pesky "premeditated" attachment to your charges. And you know what they do to people like me in prison, right ? So I'll be one of those guys going the more comfortable route. Plus, some of my own girlfriend's family might be reading this, and I wouldn't want to add to my already declining legacy. See, I'm the guy who prefers to get along with everyone. And I've been known to charm a few folks in my day. The trick isn't just about being yourself, but also being just distinguishable enough to stand apart from those other scumbags that broke their crazy little girl's heart. Back in the day, when I was a teenager, it didn't really matter much. There were basically two kinds of dads: 1) The dad who didn't give a shit, because teenage girls are the most fickle of them all, and you two could be history by the weekend, so why should this dad bother to get to know some kid that he might never see again; and 2) The overprotective dad who will do anything to make sure his crazy little girl doesn't get hurt...because hurt girls cry, and take up mom's time, and makes mom sad, and then vicariously punishes dad for being a guy, cuz look what guys do to girls. Dad #1 can be an ok guy, mainly because he minds his own business. Dad #2? He's the reason the girl is crazy...because he's crazy. He's the one who shakes your hand, says "Nice to meet you, son!" and rapidly jerks your ear to his mouth so he can get the satisfaction of whispering "You break my girl's heart, I'll hunt you down and cut your effin' balls off. You got it??". I myself have had jewels threatened by more than a few of these guys. Dad #2 is usually the reason some girls grow up to be promiscuous...because Dad #2 has scared all the nice boys away, and now she's resorted to sneaking around with boys she already knows her folks wouldn't approve of. But I digress. Dads are easy for the most part nowadays. You find a common ground that's not his daughter. That's key...males bond. Be honest,..that's obvious. And if you've been with a woman long enough to have met her parents, you should by now already know what topics are ok and what topics are off the table. Dad just retired? Ask him about vacation plans and free time. Dad just lost his job? Don't ask about vacation plans. Dad just got out of prison? Definitely avoid anything relating to soap-on-a-rope. Moms are pretty much the same through and through, whether you're a teenager or your girl's 40. Moms are also like most women as well (besides the fact that are, indeed, women). The only thing that separates her mom from the other women on Earth is that this woman carried your girlfriend around in her body for nine months, squeezed her out and raised her until the time you asked her out (whether your date believes it or not). The key to Moms actually lies within your girlfriend. Listen to her first. Remember quirky stories if possible, so when Mom brings them up you can be on their side when the teasing begins...folks love it when they have another ally in the "humiliate the daughter with embarrassing stories" game. And then the basics...hit on her without hitting on her, by telling her you see where her daughter gets her beauty from, and that her cooking is amazing, and all that stuff. And 99.8% of the time, a happy mom is a happy dad. MUSICAL BREAK!! I'm fortunate that I don't have to worry about this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aB5JRS6JOck VITAL STATS:  Sad, sad day for baseball fans, and Mets fans even more. The team lost a legend today in former catcher Gary Carter. He was one of their stars when I first started following baseball in 1985, and was one of the many players I admired on their '86 World Series champs. Here's the ESPN article...I got a little misty, thinkin' about those days. http://espn.go.com/new-york/mlb/story/_/id/7583267/hall-fame-catcher-gary-carter... The new trend in retail stupidity that I'm getting a kick out of? Customers seeing a price tag in front of an item, and then assuming the entire section is on sale. I've had customers see a sale tag in front of a certain toothpaste, and then ask if the much more expensive mouthwash of the same brand, which is six feet over, is also $1.99. I don't know, is there a tag in front of it? $5.99? Nope, guess it's not on sale then. This is happening with much more frequency now. A woman tries to cash out for breakfast sausage, which is, oh, I don't know, $2 thereabouts. But the cashier had to call for a price check, because the tag said $.99. Which is likely as we do sell it on sale for that price once in awhile. I have the woman take me to the shelf, and of course the tag says $.99...three shelves above it, and it clearly states "Frozen Hamburgers Single Serve". No, a sale tag doesn't infect an entire section, nor brand, nor style. Reading, people...it's fundamental. And I'll leave you with that little tidbit from retail hell this week. Time to get back to the Sabres game. I turned it on after the first period with the good guys up 2-0 on Julie D - PUBLISHED! 's Flyers. The second period starts, the Sabres fall apart, and I remove myself from listening to it. Better check in and see what's goin' on. Till tomorrow...peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUjSBdbZjCI |
| THE PROMPT: "Tell us how your Valentine's Day was! And if it was really awful and you don't want to talk about, reminisce over a favorite moment from a Valentine's Day you really enjoyed." Hello, lovers! I hope everyone had the first kind of Valentine's Day, and not the second kind. I can say that I did indeed enjoy myself this year, even if I didn't out-do myself from last year. If you need a refresher, it's in here: "This one's about the love." .So justjessica1 and I both had to work 2:30pm-10:30pm on Valentine's Day this year, and that made things kind of difficult. It was easy when I had the day off and Jess worked a day shift. I sort of planned ahead and ordered flowers in a vase and chocolates online, with delivery set for this past Monday, when we were both off and would be home. And that worked out well...until I submitted my order. Holy hidden fees! I didn't mind spending a little money, but damn! Taxes, fees and shipping were nearly as much as the flowers and vase (chocolates were included) themselves. That drastically altered my plans of a more personal gift...and Julie D - PUBLISHED! gave me a great idea for a more homemade gift, but I wasn't going to have the time to really pull it off the way I wanted to. Luckily, there was plenty of love for the surprise of waking up to flowers on the kitchen table. Well, actually a green box that said "Flo" with the rest covered by a FedEx label on the kitchen table.We had set out to run a few errands and grocery shop, and I suggested going to a hardware store for one particular item (an inexpensive gas heater for the basement). Much to my surprise, she said she had to stop there anyway to "get something for one of your gifts". As in, plural. More than one. I was already kinda feelin' lousy over not being able to out-do last year's awesomeness, and now I'm dealing with a multiple-gifter?? What's a boy to do? And I, well, I'm not the most mechanical person around. I go to a hardware store to get keys made, or when Jess wants to fix something and needs companionship. That's me and hardware stores. So I waited in the car, and then we ran across the street to get dinner materials. We got home, made dinner, and she couldn't wait any longer. She had to give me one part of my gift. The gag portion, if you will. I gotta say this much...she's creative. Now, not that there's anything wrong with this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6rZ2B0rnpA&feature=related, and trust me kids, I've been aware of him long before his VH1 shows and Comedy Central roasts. And maybe I did something similar 20 years ago...but imagine my surprise when I pulled a giant clock, roughly the size of my chest, out of a gift bag. And the trip to the hardware store? That was so she could buy a chain so that I could hang it anywhere I'd like. I'm pullin' this giant plastic old-school 1968 alarm clock, complete with the ringy bells at the top, out of a bag, and she's yellin' "FLAVAAAAAA FLAAAAAAV" as only she could. Yup, I'm in love! So the next day (the real Valentine's Day), after we got home from work, she gave me the rest of my gifts. It's been well-documented in this slice of internet cheese my unhealthy distaste for all things cinematical, and it's a trait of mine that is woefully misunderstood by most of my friends...and especially the one friend I separate from the rest (not physically separating, but, well, you'll get it) by prefacing "friend" with the word "girl"...you know, when you live with a chick for three and a half years, you should probably understand that I don't watch movies. But that didn't stop her from buying me a dvd of a movie entitled "Notorious", which is about the long-deceased rapper Notorious B.I.G. Now, y'all know I grew up on that era of hip hop. But I never got into Biggie the way I got into his contemporaries. However, his story is a pretty good one with a bad ending, so I might break down one day and watch it. Then I get to the big box. Johnny! Tell him what he's won!! It's a Dr. Scholl's soothing 5-Motor Full Cushion Massager! It's got five motors and it's fully cushioned! Plus it provides heat! You can set it to your upper back, lower back, or thighs! Or you can set it to your upper back, lower back, and your thighs! It slides over your chair! Just plug it in! Oh wait...it even comes with a car adaptor, so you can drive around in style while getting a back massage! Now "back" to you, Wink!" Sweet! A heated back massager for my computer chair! Awesomesauce! Uhhh, slight problem though. My computer chair is just short of ginormous. It's pretty big and plenty comfy already. I slid this massager on my chair, and was barely able to fit it. Seriously, my chair is that big, I can launch space shuttles from it for NASA. If I had a big red button, I could start a nuclear war with it. I can do all that, but I'm not smart enough to remember where I set the power adaptor for the massager. I sat down, and I was like, "Uhhh, where's the power switch? And why does the car adaptor dangle off of the remote? Uhhh... ." So I gave up for a few minutes, went upstairs, came back down, and I'm like "What the hell is this little white box on the side of my desk? Ohhhhhhh." So I unplugged the car adaptor, slid this massager back over my chair, struggled tying it down, and finally got it runnin'. I went right for the lower back function, because that's where I have the most trouble with my back. And it was nice. So nice, it was niiiiiiiiiice. And the heat from it was amazing.Then I was like, "What does it feel like on the thighs?" I can testify two things about this massager. It was meant neither for a chair the size I own, nor the people like me, who are smaller than the size of chair they own. So I switched on the thigh massager and got one hell of an ass-shakin'. People didn't shake their asses this much during the disco era the way my ass rattled last night, and that's my word. Meanwhile, the tiny space heater that I used while being in the basement is now sitting unplugged next to me, seemingly yawning from 1) boredom from lack of use, and; 2) space heaters have seen this all too often...getting replaced by an ass-shakin' chair massager. I imagine in a day or two it'll cry tears of dust, and I'll come home one day to see it facing the opposite way, as if to say "I can't watch what you're doing with that tramp anymore." Ahhh, the joys of appliances that only speak when I write. So the whole purpose of this is even though they're all quirky in their little ways, it's the thoughts that count. Thanks for the presents honey...I love them, and I love you. I hope your flowers last longer than I do watching "Notorious". Then I won't feel as bad. MUSICAL BREAK!! When I saw that movie, I actually had to struggle to remember some Biggie. Then I was instantly transported back to the "clubbin' days". Ugh...what a less-than-memorable era for hip hop. Not that this era's any better. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phaJXp_zMYM&ob=av2e And then I remembered this one...I remember having it on a magazine compilation cd. Always thought it was bright and fun-sounding. The sample was unmistakable. It definitely takes me back to a different place and time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glEiPXAYE-U&ob=av2n VITAL STATS:  So I turned on my computer today, and all of the sudden I've got a new Internet Explorer thing? Windows 9?? WTF is up, Microsoft? Stuff looks ridiculous now. I hate it. Change it back. I didn't ask for it. Punks.  I probably should've mentioned this sooner, because I'm pretty sure the voting ended, but this blog you're reading was nominated not for one, but two awards in WDC's "The Quills" for 2011. Click that link and investigate it for yourself. I'm up for "Best Blog" and "Best Comedy". You can see all the nominations here: "Invalid Item" . I'm honored, flattered, and honestly, a little shocked at the comedy nom. Please, check it out, get your free WDC account (if you don't already have one) so you can get your voice, and if you can still vote please use your voice to vote for me. Please, and thank you. And that is all for tonight. I've said my peace, and I'm already looking forward to tomorrow's prompt about death and destruction, and the alternatives. Can't wait. Now, if you don't mind, I have to waste time on other things so I have a good excuse as to why dinner wasn't cleaned up when Jess gets home at 11pm. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBlMrGgpwXE |
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