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Review Requests: OFF
3,273 Public Reviews Given
3,312 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
XGC, poems, prose. I am an animal activist and vegan, so cruelty or violent, unnecessary, death due to negligence is overwhelming. I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of Rock People  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Joseph Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I must confess to reading the conclusion first, because that's the only reason I struggled through the first part. The font is so small, and the white space is non-existent, so I had to squint all the way through for the sake of the rocks.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I got the jist of the plot. Destruction and desolation. What I didn't feel was any emotion or connection. I didn't know who the narrator was, until he introduced himself and his friends. I'd start with that. I found numerous errors throughout. Too many to point out. Maybe if you increase the font and don't choose blue for a color, the errors would be easier for you to see.

I wish guys in stories would fall for the average girl, not the knockout bomb. It's a shame the Tron betrayed everyone, but the conclusion was optimistic and a joy for me to read.

*ZodiacTaurus*
So, why did the end enthrall me? As a kid, I started collecting rocks, but only those who spoke to me. Now I have over 100 rocks, from palm-sized to boulders. I take them with me whenever I move. They are a part of me, and yes, each one has a story to tell. One time, I picked up a rock on a trail, but it gave me a weird, sick sensation in my stomach. It shouldn't be mine, it seemed to say. I walked it back and found a twin on the opposite side of the trail. I returned the one I'd picked up. The relief was profound and validating.

So even though the first part of the story was barely manageable, I'm happy I muddled through it. You gave me a chance to share my rock story.

There is so much material in here, you could write a series of stories, rather than squishing it all together. I don't know the birth of this writing, maybe it came from another piece, or maybe you needed to get the first part spelled out because your brain was firing ideas that quickly.

At any rate, I do hope you'll work on this a bit more. The story is worth it.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
52
52
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Purple Princess . Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option. I've never had the pleasure of reading your work before.

*ZodiacTaurus*
First, thanks for writing in a larger font and for leaving a good amount of white space. The formatting made this an easy read. The brief description was 'for Addison', so I'm guessing you wrote this for a particular child.

What a fantastic story for children. The plot held just enough excitement and danger to thrill a child, but not enough to scare them overly much. I always have to remind my grandsons that the good guy always wins to alleviate any fear.

*ZodiacTaurus*
How cool would it be to see this book printed with illustrations? I had a difficult time picturing the bridge scene, which I blame myself for. I became confused, not understanding that the knight had returned to the other side of the bridge after the girls were safe. For a while, I wasn't sure who was saving whom.

If the story was not written for kids, I'd have several questions and suggestions. But for a young person, you've penned the recipe for an enthralling tale. I can imagine any little girl loving the prince and his sword. I'm guessing they would have to be under the age of seven or so to appreciate the plot, since kids are so savvy these days. That question would be answered through learning how old Addison was at the time this was written.

but their castle (has) something
(had) in keeping with the past tense.

alright
all right.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I'd like to see a stronger conclusion, other than the princesses having a story to tell.

Thanks for the read and keep writing.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
53
53
Review of The Cutting Edge  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi StephBee Nixie here. I found your work here "The Shameless "Plug" Page" 

*ZodiacTaurus*
First thoughts: A movie has the same title as your story. And I don't think the brief description suits the plot. Yours is a powerful story, and I never had the impression that this was about who the better skater was. I'm thinking: "Love on the Ice" for the title. Just my mind skating along. lol

*ZodiacTaurus*
I wasn't savvy with all the technical terms, but nothing could take away the image in my mind. I felt transported just reading. Ice skating is a gorgeous sport, and wow, that video gave my heart a lift. I was almost speechless when it ended. Her precision was astounding.

On a side note, when it came time to learn my first jump, I fell and broke my arm. lol

*ZodiacTaurus*
The descriptions were tantalizing, from the outside of the building all the way to the interior and then spilling over into the characterizations of Alyssa and Yuri.

Somewhere in here, I found two oversights. 'purse' should be 'pursue' and somewhere else, I think you meant 'skates' rather than 'shoes. I hope those two comments are enough to help you spot what I saw.

Here, in the words, I've met two young people who defied the politics that always get in the way of everything. How cool would it be if they ended up as skating partners? I prefer couples skating to single.

I liked it when Alyssa said 'Udachi'. I had to look it up, which is double fun for me.

Last comment-did you choose 'romance' as a genre? Because this is definitely a romantic story, both for love of ice skating and for Yuri and Alyssa. Nicely done!

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
54
54
Review of Honouring James  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi sindbad. Nixie here. Choconut posted this note "Note: Whew-eee! It's been a busy, old week. [Lin..." and that's how I found your biographical work.


*Baretree3*
Between the chills running up and down my legs and the tears in my eyes, I'm asking myself 'how can you review this?'.

*Baretree3*
I had a feeling a few paragraphs in where this piece might be headed. Not precisely, of course, just a suspicion or intuition for the reason James stopped coming to lessons. When he was allowed to play in the recital, and he appeared disheveled, I know my instincts were right.

*Baretree3*
Why is it more important for boys to start their lessons at an early age? It reminded me of kids over the age of five. If they already have behaviour problems, there's not a thing I can do about it. And I love kids in general.


*Baretree3*
Going forward- it's easier on the reader if the font is enlarged, creating more white space. Nevertheless, I found my way through this, drawn in and curiously captivated by the plot's progression. That's some outstanding writing on your part.

What I didn't anticipate was the conclusion, a double whammy. (The performance was followed by the social worker's appearance.) Make that a triple whammy for what happened to James later in his life.

We are all both teachers and students on life's pathways. James was an exceptional teacher, and you humbly recognized this.

The final paragraph hurt my heart. Why, oh why, do some of the good people die young?

'Thanks for the read' goes to both the one who encouraged you to write this piece, and also to you for following through. It must have been exceedingly difficult to write this. *Heart*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
55
55
Review of Strawberry Buddy  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Don Two Nixie here. I found your work here in the. January 10, 2024 NL Issue

*ZodiacTaurus*
I was captivated by your poem. The format was different from others I've read, and the symmetry immediately drew me in. I skipped over the title and brief description, and oh what a delight I found in the mystery. I missed what had animated the strawberry, but questioned whether it was necessary. Personifying an object means the object already held thoughts. (Especially true after the first line in the second stanza).

*ZodiacTaurus*
I'm confused and remorseful for not latching on to the meaning of the progressive stanzas. Using the word 'pulp' prompted reflection. If the strawberry is already pulped, how is it edible?

*ZodiacTaurus*
I felt awkward because I couldn't make sense of the poem. And my intention is not to insult you. It's obvious by the unique phrasing that you didn't rush through the writing. Then again, I noticed that this was never edited. Interesting.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
56
56
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Erithacus Nixie here. I landed on your poem by clicking the 'read and review' link.


*Baretree3*
Oh, happy days for me. A poem about a tree. I didn't know what a Linden tree was, so googling it was fun. I like to learn when I review.

A question about the title. I liked the sound of 'Fifteen Rings' because it piqued my interest. But what I didn't understand was the 'Green man' that follows. Depending on your intentions, I think it takes power from the title.


*Baretree3*
My one suggestion: break this up into stanzas so the reader can appreciate all your beautiful words. As is, I'm looking at a solid block of text, and I have to squint to read the words. Normally, I would pass on this because of the reading difficulties, but, it's a tree poem, and I can never turn away from those.


*Baretree3*
I often graze my hand over the bark, wondering what these trees have seen over hundreds of years. Trees bring a sense of peace and solidity. I have a huge oak tree right outside my window. It's a home for squirrels and birds, which brings me to my last point.

The last few lines felt forlorn, so different from the verses before it. Yet, it makes perfect sense (after I read it a few times) and closes your masterpiece with reality, wonderment, and awareness of impermanence. Nicely done, keep writing. {e:smile|


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#1300305 by Maryann




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57
57
Review of Tears and Pee  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hi Carol St.Ann Nixie here. I found your story via read and review.



*Baretree3*
As I read, a thought kept running through my mind. Maybe I'm crazy, but I was thinking part of Jerry's spirit was in the dog. I like comforting ideas such as mine. Call me eccentric, I don't mind.

*Baretree3*
You are a lovely person, demonstrated by your care for Rosie. I felt so sad for her when she peed. The tenderness that followed her submissive behaviour nearly broke my heart, wondering who could have given her this fear.

*Baretree3*
I liked the moments you described, especially her exploring the house and then running back to you. The word (scampering) was well-chosen. As was (scurried). In fact, all your word choices showed the reader who Rosie was. I deduced that Rosie was a rescued dog, and you found each other, fated to meet.

*Baretree3*
The first paragraph hit close to home. I had to put my cat down in December, and four months later, I still can't deal with it. My mind is protecting me because I barely remember her. The house is empty without another heartbeat.

I'm guessing by now that Rosie is trained. We had a dog who waited until the carpets were professionally cleaned, before peeing in the living room.

Thanks for sharing your soulful story. I'm happy you have Rosie and she has you. *Heart*


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58
58
Review of Stranded together  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Beck Firing back up! Nixie here. I saw your story here. "The Writer's Cramp" . When I read the prompt, I couldn't put one and two together to create a plot. I see you had no trouble.


*Baretree3*
I was a little confused at first because I didn't know who the characters were. Holly, Jaden, Ted and Sandy. Maybe if the story started with the father, it would be easier to understand who was whom. I recognize the behavior as interaction between two kids, but it took a while to sort it out. It's difficult to start a story with dialogue.

What about a paragraph break in the third line? Ted's actions are separate from Holly's scramble. That would help identify characters. As is, who is Tom swooping up? Holly or the teddy bear? I'm guessing Holly. You could replace (her) with (Holly).
Sammy is the teddy bear?

If you include the paragraph break and the name substitution, that would clear up a lot of questions.

*Baretree3*
When my kids were young, I had three children, ages 5, 19 months and a newborn, respectively. I was trying to fly home because my sister was dying. I couldn't get a flight until 5 pm, and then we had a two-hour delay, not including layovers. *Pthb*


*Baretree3*
I really felt bad for the dad, as he struggled to contain his kids. And I was so sad when he considered himself a failure. I didn't like that he felt people were staring and judging. I've experienced the same.

You included a wise comment, when he wondered how his wife handled it all. The appearance of the mysterious old woman added a touch of mystery, even though I knew what she'd say.

Now, dads are more involved. Baby showers include both men and women. That's a step toward progress.

There are a few problems with spacing here and there.

*Baretree3*
I wondered what game could involve all those children (and parents) at once. I guess it doesn't matter because the closing lines were the most important.

Overall, this is a good story with room for improvement. Only a few tweaks here and there are necessary. *Checkg*

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59
59
Review of Wonderland Again.  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Sox and Sandals Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" 

*Bulletb*
The title reminded me of Humpty Dumpty. Was that intentional?
The title does not need a period.

After reading the first two verses, my deceased dad came to mind. He was a strong man, taken down by Alzheimer's and a bad heart. The words 'stoic' and 'solid' summed him up succinctly. He never fell to the devastating effects of not remembering us, he slowly, over time, became exceedingly fragile. He had a favorite chair, which is now empty, but I snapped a shot of it for memories.

In verse three, line 2 ...'remains unspoken' ring true for my family. We all wondered what was going inside his head. Did he know all he could do was stare?

But in verse 3, I also found something I couldn't grasp. Are the last two lines referring to religion?

*Bulletb*
Certain instances make me fragile, being sick, for example. Vulnerable is another adjective I could use.

*Bulletb*
The overall rhythm was at first a little tricky. It seemed to bump and fall over itself. After a few readings, the words fell into place. Your word choices were strong and not repetitive. Each verse brought something new to the poem, which after reading Kiya's comments, I realized it was supposed to be a song.

Thanks for the read, and keep writing.

~Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
60
60
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Have a sunshiny day! Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I see you took a course on the subject back in 2011. I took Winnie's course on commas a while ago. And still make multiple mistakes. *Headbang*

Using the w/c as a tool always works for me. I don't have difficulty with not repeating character traits, but I do have a problem with repetitive words. One of which is (back). Once I see how many times I've used the word in question, I copy/paste the item into a Google doc and search for that particular word.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Character depth is an integral part of a story. We do have to show varied responses, negatives, and positives. Oddly, this is something I've noticed in published books by well-known authors. They find one word to describe their character and use it over and over again. So tiresome.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Excellent use of the word (embed). I'd never have thought of that terminology. Today was a good day to be reminded of the potential pitfalls you mentioned here. Writing for "I Write in 2024"  is a challenge. I'm fortunate to have read this today. Thank you.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
61
61
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Emerick - The Preacher Nixie here. I saw your win for the "Search for a WDC HeartThrob Poet "  and wanted to review your poem.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I like the title, but be sure to capitalize the (h) in (heart). *Heart*

*ZodiacTaurus*
Beautifully composed with a lovely rhyming scheme, I enjoyed reading about this endless love. Even if I don't believe in it, the permanence is a comforting thought.

I also had an opposite reaction to line 3 in stanza 2. I once took a course in psychology, and the word 'codependent' was drilled into me. We're 'supposed' to be complete on our own. To reassure you, this comment is in no way a reflection on your poem.

*ZodiacTaurus*
No laughing, (just kidding) but when I read the third stanza about jealousy, a song came to mind. "If You Wanna Be happy" written by Jimmy Soul.

"If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
never make a pretty woman your wife." *Laugh*

Okay, enough levity already. I'm about to shatter the dreamy writing and belief of true love expressed in your poem.

One other moment caught my attention. I liked the repetition of "Set me as a seal upon your heart" in the first and final stanza. The placement of the words was unique. *Thumbsup*

Thank you for the charming read, and congrats on the first place win. Well deserved.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
62
62
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi jackiesmuse Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Well, this is rather sad. The story isn't marked as non-fiction, but it does read that way. And the character's name is the same as yours. Anyhow, I'm playing it safe and treating this as if there were a protagonist.

Interesting title. A title within a title, marking two surprises. Nicely done.

*ZodiacTaurus*
How awful to be thinking of a birthday party, or remembrance, at several points during the day, only to be let down. And then all she found was a cold dinner? My mom has her ways that sting, but she's in her 90's now, so her venomous behavior is over.

*ZodiacTaurus*
There's no setting here, or character description. The plot relied mostly on the dialogue. One cool part was the description of the car and the way it 'sputtered' up the block.

The prompt fit right in with the story. Good job. I liked the positive conclusion. The 'fast forward' felt exactly right. I have never forgotten to make the birthday call, or to buy a cake for my younger daughter who lives near me.

At my age, I prefer it if everyone forgets. *Laugh* But, yes, birthdays are important. If this is non-fiction, I wonder if the mom ever changed. Thanks for the read. Keep writing.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
63
63
Review of Mouse Code  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ned Nixie here. I found your item via 'read and review'.


*Baretree3*
First response? *Laugh*

The cover art and the title drew me in. I liked the clever take on the words, and how it tied in with the conclusion.

*Baretree3*
The story was a smooth read, and I kept trying to guess what the possible conclusion could be. You caught me totally unawares, even though the answer was right there in the brief description.

I liked the dialogue between the two scientists, smooth and easy. They had an easy rapport and it felt as if they were friends. I don't like the thought of experimenting on the rats, even though the critters terrify me. Once my cat dropped a huge, still warm rat in front of me while I was sitting in the living room. Ugh.

*Baretree3*
I appreciated the generous spacing and font size. I skip reading stories if I have to squint.

*Baretree3*
Fantastic job writing for this contest.

Plot/characters/setting/conflict were all in place.

Somehow, I think this story will stick in my head because I have other more disturbing rat experiences. *Sick*

The story ran so smoothly, I could see myself 'watching' the scientists. *Checkg* Thanks for the read. *Smile*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
64
64
Review of Rules  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham Nixie here. I found your story using the read and review link.


*Baretree3*
Oh no, that poor dog. How did it survive the tumbling? I wondered how old Michelle was; she sounds like a five-year-old or maybe a bit older since she's the older sister.

Because I was worried about the dog, I felt rather mortified as I read. As a mom myself, I would have explained to the child exactly why the dog shouldn't be in the dryer. Good grief, didn't Michelle hear the thumping?

Rather than the 'grounding' choice the mom made, I would have taken the child to an animal shelter where she would volunteer to gain an understanding of animals. (Of course that requires time spent for the mom, but still...

*Baretree3*
*Right* Since Michelle is using (mommy) as a first name, the 'M' should be capitalized.

*Baretree3*
The conclusion was meant to be funny, and I smiled. My strong upset reaction is due to the fact that I was mortified by Michelle's actions. So rating your work based on my feelings doesn't seem fair. The only error I found was the missed capitalized (M).

I want to ask, why was the title "Rules"? It seems there were no rules for this occasion. Just asking.

Thanks for the read, and congratulations on the win. *Smile*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
65
65
Review of Apple Jacks  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Grace Kween Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
In only a few short words you've captured the essence of showing not telling. But more than that, you've brought a pang to my heart. Many sensations can return a person to a moment in their lives. One such is taste. Most go for the smell sensation; the taste is more nuanced and unique.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I like the simple title that tells everything and nothing at the same time. The brief description is vague enough so as not to spoil the read.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I learned quite a bit about you by reading your comments expressed on your portfolio tab. The words gave me a broader understanding of your talents. You really are quite the poet, and you're very much in tune with sensations.

Writing.com is a unique writing website. Many of us consider this to be our second home. The owners have created a safe place to share. I hope you find the same love and joy as so many others.

Some of us post our writings on the Newsfeed. It's also a social gathering place where we can meet new members and comment on others' posts.

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
66
66
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi elizjohn Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Ouch. Your poem touched me in a painful way, striking like lightning to my heart. The impact of those words brought to mind deaths I have experienced.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I liked the bit of 'misdirection' if I can label lines eight and nine. The words 'gone', 'forgotten', and 'don't remember' distressed me, thinking that no one would remember the person who died.

*ZodiacTaurus*
I was carried along on a sad but smooth journey. The pacing was even and 'felt' right for the emotions it provoked.

And then, wham. You hit me heart-center with the last line. This is a beautifully composed poem (prose-no rhyme scheme). I would suggest adding a period after the last word, but that's the author's stylistic choice.

I thought this prose was non-fiction, but it's not marked as such. Now I'm recalling my dad's burial, and I would also like to forget that winter.

Thank you for the read. Keep writing!

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
67
67
Review of ANGER  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Naomi Nixie here. In thanks for sending me a review, I'm sending one to you. This forum encourages reciprocation. "Review Your Reviewer" 

*Vignette1*
Your words are easily relatable. Anger, resentment, or any other negative emotion is capable of ruling our lives. Forgive and forget is a lesson to be learned. I'm capable of forgiving, but not forgetting. Forgiving myself is something I struggle with.

The second sentence in line four is my absolute favorite. I also say, if someone upsets you because they are negative, don't dwell on it. A person on the receiving end only has to tolerate the mean one for a bit. The negative person has to live with themselves forever. That's not a universal statement. If said person is in our lives permanently (as in coworkers, for example) one needs to develop additional skills, or practice avoidance. For the reasons I mentioned above, that one line is profound.

*Vignette2*
A few oopses.
Like any emotions, you can learn from it... (them)
Emotions are plural.

Line 5
understanding between people and encourage(s) intimacy.


*Vignette3*
I noticed all your titles are in full caps. Is there a reason for that? I found it distracting. The brief description also has unexpected capital letters. I don't understand why.

One more issue. I'd like to see that first sentence without anger written in full caps. If it's important for you to emphasize it, try italics. Oh, one more thing on the use of ellipses. They are used to represent an omission of words. (for example, a person's sentence is cut off.) Think of an ellipse as a three letter word with spaces. Like this: . . . My sister taught me to count to seven when using them. That works for me.

Consider using a period after (love) instead.

Thank you for the thought-provoking essay. In a mere four lines, you've expressed a powerful lesson. Keep writing. *Smile*

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68
68
Review of Running  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Dagmar Nixie here. In thanks for sending me a review, I'm sending one to you. This forum encourages reciprocation. "Review Your Reviewer" 

*Vignette1*
I like the psychology expressed here. Exercise clears the mind and, hopefully, releases the toxins in one's body that build up from intense emotions. So I have rather a different take on what she is running from. It's more like 'what's she running for', if that makes sense.

*Vignette2*
If something doesn't enhance the plot, it has no place in the story. I understood the purpose, but was confused by the conclusion. The appearance of the deer seemed unrelated.

The reader doesn't know precisely who 'my Dave' is. If Dave was her son, then the appearance of the deer with her doe would tie right in.

I couldn't help but notice the abundance of sentences beginning with 'she'. In the first paragraph, the narrator is identified by name. Peppering that name in exchange for some of the 'she's or her's would help. Also, consider switching up sentence structure to avoid this hiccup.

I'm not a fan of seeing words fully capitalized followed by an exclamation mark. It's been drilled into me to show the emotion. Why did Jessica freeze? Was she afraid of dogs? That can't be true because the family owns a dog.

I enjoyed the read, but can see another way to present this. Keep writing. *Smile*

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69
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Review of What now?  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Sumojo Nixie here. I found your work via the read and review option.

*ZodiacTaurus* The title is weak, especially for the strength of the story. You probably wrote the brief description for your own benefit, otherwise, I know you can dream up something more inviting. (Next time, maybe.) Who goes back to their old works to edit after receiving a review. Not me. I carry the advice forward.

*ZodiacTaurus*
Although the line spacing is off, this was a well told story, condensed to fit a word count. The setting is simple and clear. Without anything explicitly said, I knew the two girls were best friends.

*ZodiacTaurus*
When I began the story, I never expected the conclusion. As, the plot progressed, no story elements seemed particularly related to the other. From Justine's sentence alone, I may have guessed.

My brother knew someone who purposely drove their new car into the water to avoid that sickening feeling of the first scratch. I think he made that up.

*ZodiacTaurus*
The scene segue from the girls being outside and then inside without their actions being spelled out impressed me. I have trouble with scene transitions.

*ZodiacTaurus*
You're clever. The scene with the fortune teller began and ended so swiftly, I believed the old man when he claimed exhaustion. Letting the girls express their wonderment still didn't prepare me for the conclusion. *Star* Good job!

Without giving away the conclusion, does the word at the end describe the sound? If the results were fatal, I'd choose 'darkness' as a closing. Right now, I can't think of a better word because I'm freaking thinking about that sound. 'scrunch'?

I rated this 4 stars because the flow of the plot was disrupted by the formatting. The title was weak, and the brief description wasn't a brief description. *Laugh*

Overall, a fun read. Keep writing!

Dr Who and his Tardis

Nixie
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70
70
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Louis Williams Nixie here. I found your prose via random review.



*Baretree3*
Your choice of title is vivid and inviting. The brief description prepares the reader for what's to come. I always hesitate over that part. Do I want to tell the reader? Or do I want them to find out?

I've lived through many hurricanes and the damage is sometimes devastating. I've seen roofs ripped from houses, trees fallen on vehicles, power lines down, which, one time, meant I had no power for four days. Many go weeks without power.

*Baretree3*
I have a few questions.
"Castles crumbled all around, with stone wall kicked in"
Do you mean that phrase literally? I wonder where a place like
this could be. A place with hurricanes and castles. Hmm.

"kids with lego blocks smashed to the ground"
Kids are smashed to the ground? That's disturbing.


*Baretree3*
You might want to consider breaking this up into stanzas for an easier read. BTW-this is prose, not poetry. Poetry has a rhyming scheme. That's awfully picky of me.

You absolutely cinched the work in the final two lines. The personification of the hurricane caught me off guard, in a delightful way.

Thanks for the read.

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71
71
Review of Whirring  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Isedora Klopper Nixie here. I found your item via random review.



*Baretree3*A few thoughts popped instantly into my mind, so here's how it goes. I need to get them out of my head. First, it's no big deal, but what you've written is 'prose' not poetry. Next, this presents as a huge block of text that all runs together.

I definitely would not use 'nonsense' as a genre. There is nothing nonsensical about this. Your prose sounds personal, so there's always the choice of 'nonfiction', but that's obvious.

*Baretree3*
Okay, now my head is clear of distractions. My takeaway is that your thoughts are probably universal. I know they rang true for me. I'm already wishing this day were over.

Your 'philosophy' is expressed in a way that draws in the reader. It's too sad that the words are all jumbled together and the succession of thoughts is confusing due to punctuation.

A suggestion - break this up into natural-flowing stanzas. If a line is carried to the next as one thought, there's no need to capitalize the first letter. Revising that small issue will also help.

*Baretree3*
You have so much to give. Keep writing!



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72
72
Review of The smile  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Benjamin Nixie here. I landed on your poem via random review.


*Baretree3*
These stout words of yours demand a round of applause. You've deeply probed the foundation of society and our place within the chaos. The message of self-empowerment and determination to remain true to ourselves rings with authenticity. At times, no kidding, my heart clenched. The victorious last line neatly and movingly summed up the poem.

*Baretree3*
Commas can be a bane to our writing existence. This is an area where a writer can improve. The flow of this prose would be maintained without those dang commas interrupting the overall rhythm.

Some editing would strengthen weak phrasing. This one bothered me the most.
"Society's judgment, we don't have to be swayed by their wrath"

I don't rewrite others' work to show as a suggestion, but this line can be tightened up, perhaps by rephrasing 'we don't have'. (passive verb)

What is the title you chose? The one in the title space, or the one at the top of the poem? My vote is for the title. I liked the brief description. It concisely introduced the theme.

Rather than 'other' choose 'prose'.

*Baretree3*
I didn't check the line count, but here's a contest where you can possibly submit your poem. "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" 

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work. Keep writing!

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73
73
Review of A Place I Go  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi The Dawning Sun Nixie here. I'm sending you a return review as thanks for yours.

*Baretree3*
Well, here I am, after reading the fifth stanza, tears in my eyes. The relief I felt reading your words was profound. I can see myself shrugging off a large boulder that's been riding on my back.

It seems we're in some sort of alignment. Are the stars connecting people of similar observations?

I like the centering of the poem. Not everyone does it, so when I see one the impact of the words is stronger. The lines are even throughout, which also is appealing to me.

I've read this five times now, yet still can't find adequate words to express myself. You've captured the essence of living. Sometimes stumbling along, believing that will always be a person's way. And then turning around (okay, I can't resist the rhyme) to see a brighter day.

The last few weeks have been particularly difficult for me. Your poem evidently came my way at the exact time I needed to hear this message. Thank you.





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74
74
Review of Music Notes  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Amethyst Angel🌸📝🪽 Nixie here, again, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" 

What a beautiful piece you've written. Even though the material is nothing I'm acquainted with, I had no trouble tuning in for the music and connecting with your words. The flow was majestic, with nary a hiccup. I appreciated the spacing and larger font. Your thoughts are expressed with frankness, and your willingness to share is admirable.

The image we 'see' looking in seems perfect but is often distorted, especially with celebrities. And that's true for everyone. What we often envy/admire is only frosting. So that whole paragraph (...seemed like the perfect couple) is universal to all. That's why I mentioned it here.

I listened to the video while I was stressed out over something silly, and the melody soaked into me, soothing and calm.

Your word choices elicited an unexpected read, and nothing was repeated. Well done, and thanks for the read!

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75
75
for entry "Friendship" 
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Angelica-HappyFather'sDay! Nixie here, reviewing this item for "I Write in 2024" 

*Gears*
I liked your poem, even with the simplified rhymes. I wish my life experiences were reflected here. Other than online friends here, I have none. Long ago, my mom told me not to have friends, because when the friendship broke up, the person would tell everyone else what I'd confided.

*Gears*
When I lived in Maine, I had one friend, and all these years later, I still think of her. We worked in the same place, we both had awful husbands and wonderful kids. That's one friendship I could call true blue.

*Gears*
The message ran deeper than the rhyming, and it sounds quite profound. Unfortunately, I couldn't make sense of it. The second stanza means that friendship, like any relationship, has bumps in the road? And the next stanza means being away from each other never dilutes the friendship?

*Gears*
I feel clumsy, loafing around here, thinking. I do like challenges, and the time spent was well worth the effort.


~Nixie
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