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Review Requests: OFF
3,273 Public Reviews Given
3,312 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Template most of the time, covering setting/plot/characters/conflict/resolution if applicable. For shorter works, I concentrate more on feelings evoked.
I'm good at...
Short story, chapter reviews and in-depth reviews.
Favorite Genres
Sci-fi, Romance, mystery, children's
Least Favorite Genres
Historical
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novel chapters
Least Favorite Item Types
essay, editorial, non-fiction, somebody's homework assignment
I will not review...
XGC, poems, prose. I am an animal activist and vegan, so cruelty or violent, unnecessary, death due to negligence is overwhelming. I am unable to review any pieces involving abuse of any kind to anyone. I like to keep my corner or the world happy, because I grew beyond my "challenges" of childhood and don't want to look back.
Public Reviews
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101
101
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there,Ned. Nixie here. Random review landed me here to read your poem. Random sends the reviewer everywhere. You wrote this in 2019. *Smile*

*Crown* Initial Attraction
Okay, in all honesty the cover art drew me in. That is why I'm using my glam girl for a sig. *Laugh*

*Crown* Overall Reaction
Absolutely fantastic. It seemed that I met this woman in real life. I could picture her in my mind. I've known women like her. Women who practice their smiles in the mirror everyday.

*Crown* Stand-outs
I think the word [fantastic] was previously employed in the beginning. It's still my first reaction. It's obvious that each word was chosen with care and in only a few short lines the reader sees a character. Well done, and much more.

*Crown* And in the end?
I can't say [fantastic] again, can I? That prompt wasn't an easy one, but you pulled it off with accomplished flair. If it's of interest to you,the prompt word no longer needs to be shown in bold.

I seriously enjoyed reading and reviewing your gem. *GemG*

Personal image. One 1/4 of the inner me.

Overwatch Guardian
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
102
102
Review of What If  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Tiffers. Nixie here. I found your item via random read.

*Baretree3*
The Hook
I hardly even needed a hook. The title and brief description spurred me on. I absolutely adore kids.

*Baretree3*
A closer look
I like the free form format you chose. You weren't saddled with a particular style. The topic itself isn't uncommon, but you did an excellent job of both showing the scene and striking terror into the hearts of every mom.

I had to look up 'Usian'. I think [bolt] should be capitalized because it's part of his name.

*Baretree3*
Emotions evoked
My son was a wild child, but it was my two-year-old daughter who wandered off one day after daughter number one told her three kids in the family were too many. Good grief. I was feeding my newborn son and had to go racing down the sidewalk, newborn baby in my arms.

I particularly enjoyed your word choices and shortened phrases. "Six badges" was my favorite.


*Baretree3*
A closed book=lasting impression
My heart broke with the last two lines. One more example of your outstanding style. The consistent no punctuation approach worked like a charm.

You've only recently joined, and already you're a star!

Love this image from Brooke! Personal signature

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Overwatch Guardian



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
103
103
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
"I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  Thanks for entering!"


What an interesting way to show the genre of traveling. I liked the implied futuristic plot. It wasn't necessary to explain to the reader what the terms meant. I don't think I'd like this trip, though. It would be too much stress for my mind. I'd rather never relive it. The story was a little confusing. If I were someone else, I' d be tempted.

One problem in the conclusion. Neither character would know what past they would be living. Whenever you mess around with time, the more likely changes would occur. And even though Brea was careful not to see himself when they traveled. But no way can he be fairly certain of the outcome. How many times has he taken this trip? In the beginning,it seems to be that this was Brea's first trip. But later in the story I had the feeling it wasn't the first time he'd come.

You chose a tricky story to write and it worked fairly well. For me, it was simply too confusing and hard to follow.

I will remember all the futuristic words you wrote. That was my favorite part.

Thanks again for entering,
~Nixie

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
104
104
Review of Dream Vacation  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi, Nixie here. I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  Thanks for entering!"

Bravo! The humorous and excellent twists and turns creating conflict and resolution made for a great read.
The character was funny and personable.

The spider was a split character. First, a plant she fussed with in the beginning and then it completed the story arc by becoming very real. And freaking scary.

Since my mind was going back and forth I wondered which guy she’d end up with. Seems I chose the right one. Now if only I could make good choices in life…

You gifted your reader by sharing your work. Thanks again for your entry.

~Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
105
105
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
"I am reviewing your story as a judge for the "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" 
Thanks for entering!"


Thanks for showing me the sites of London. Gladly Golightly made this story special, as his narration and comments added another layer to the plot. I enjoyed the comic relief.

One question. Golightly is really a stuffed bear, and only the narrator sees him as living and commenting? How is this possible?


The story would be easier to read if the font were bigger. More spacing between paragraphs would also help. Especially because the story is so dense. The body appeared as one solid block. Something to keep in mind when writing. *Wink* Readers like 'white space' and can be discouraged by density.

I enjoyed your story. I did find that the details were almost overwhelming. Check your grammar and comma usage. I found some distracting errors.

Understanding exactly how a stuffed bear that can be real to the narrator had me questioning.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
106
106
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest"  Thanks for entering!"

What a fascinating story. It was authentic and believable. You showed me everything through the character ‘s eyes. The overall mood was quiet while he ruminated. The twist was delivered with surprise
and rerouted that mood.

The story, as I stated was authentic. But the last paragraph seemed rushed. The small apology in the letter wouldn’t have made him forgivable to me. But then I read it twice and changed my mind. No doubt upset his family, but his actions brought so much more to others. A remarkable character, conflicted as most of us.

Yours is a story worthy of reading many times over. Thank you again.



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
107
107
for entry "More 'Sea Stories" 
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Jim. I'm reviewing this item for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" 

Yippee for me! A submarine entry to review. I often read your submarine stories when they're posted on the Newsfeed. Why don't you write reviews, Nixie? No idea.

Ages ago, I visited a submarine that was 'on land?' and open for tours. I was totally panicked and overcome by claustrophobia. How could you possibly survive those cramped quarters?

Gallows humour. That was my thought while reading your entry. In tough situations levity can be a life-saver. Laughter, in and of itself, relieves stress. In a RL prank, the 'pranked' person may feel violated or humiliated, depending on the situation. Gallows humour makes perfect sense if a person is living (trapped) in a submarine.

I like to insert a comic relief break in a drama or tense story.

What's an Evaporator? Since this entry is 'addressed' to
Kåre Enga in Montana and ForeverDreamer, it seems you're responding to an ongoing conversation where you all have the same knowledge. You have a submarine family at WdC. *Smile*


One slip stood out.
There [were] 2-3 Machinist Mates [were] nearby

I read "Playing With Hot Dogs" . That was totally off-the-wall. So gross, it was hilarious.

That's it for now. Thanks for the entertainment. *Laugh*

~Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
108
108
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Shadow Prowler-Spreading Love. It's my pleasure to review this item for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" 

Overall Impression
You definitely captured the essence of the prompt. As I read, it sounded as if the narrator was living in a dream/nightmare. I have a habit of writing as I read, so bear with me. *Wink* The beginning drew me into the story, and reminded me of grave sites I've avoided. In St. Augustine (Florida) many have reported ghost sightings. That's why your chilly description was so vivid for me.

Thoughts to think
What I noticed was a repetition of words and phrases. They're easy to pick out.

Here, you've engaged the smell sensation twice.

It's very hot and humid and the air smells earthy. You can smell the rain in the air...

Avoid filler words like (very). They're meaningless.

Exclamation marks should be used sparingly, preferably, not at all. I found several. *Smile* They're distracting.

More repetitive wording.
My heart races!

Three sentences later,
My mind races

Check your comma usage. (My worst part of editing.)

And then it's goodbye.
A truly, unexpected conclusion. Horrifying. Except how could a blanket of bones cuddle? How can bones cry? Or is that part of the horror? Didn't she notice there was no soft body? Overall, I like the story, but it does raise a lot of questions that I can't answer.

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work.

~Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
109
109
Review of My Sister Kathy  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi AmyJo. I'm reviewing this item for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" 

Overall Impression
I have to admit this wasn't an easy item to read. I, too, lost my only sister in 1983. She was only 30 years old. And she died from Leukemia. So we have several parallel connections, unfortunately through tragic circumstances.

And so it continues, nearly exactly from stanza to stanza. I moved to another state before her death, and could not catch a flight back home until 5 P.M. That was the time of her death.

I've written many pieces about her over the years. The loss feels as if it happened yesterday. She remains in my heart. The only difference is that she wasn't cremated. I remember walking with my mom through rows and rows of coffins. A truly awful experience.

Your poem flowed smoothly from stanza to stanza. The sorrow is evident in your words. It's amazing how you found a rhyming scheme to express yourself concerning such a devastating death.

My only suggestion would be not to capitalize the first word in every line if it's a continuation of the prior.

Some people like punctuation in poetry to guide the flow. I prefer the style you've chosen, no punctuation. That allows me to follow along at a pace dictated by my heart. I paused over most lines and reflected before continuing to the next.

To say I'm sorry for your loss sounds shallow. But the overall mood was a celebration for your sister, without bringing a deathly and morbid pall in your words. (Although that's not to say there's anything wrong if a person chooses to demonstrate a sad mood.)

If it helps, you keep writing to Kathy. It's cathartic for some, including me. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and allowing me to gather my own memories while I connected to yours.


~Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
110
110
Review of Shattered  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Tina. I'm reviewing this item for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" 

Overall Impression
A compelling story with vivid descriptions of the setting and showing of well-rounded characters. Each personality was distinct.

As the plot unfolds
I enjoyed the tense build-up as Madison explores the mansion. With each room my dread mushroomed and the tension escalated. You weren't kidding when you said 'cliffhanger'. I could never leave my child under those circumstances, unless something were seriously wrong at home.

Wow, the description of the painting gave me the creeps. I had the same reaction as Madison. Fascination and horror.

As you'll notice below, I found a few blips along the way. I know there's probably a ton in the story I'm working on. It's so easy to see what we want, not what should be written.

Thoughts to think
Consider mentioning the mom in the first paragraph so we know who's driving.

run-on sentence
... At least it wasn't grey...

Something is off here. Or I'm reading it wrong. (it led?)
because as she followed the foyer which led to a choice of two directions.

Filter word (decide) and why the past tense. Isn't she here for the first time? Or was she saying it was a room she hadn't entered since she began her tour? *Confused* Maybe internal dialogue? I haven't seen this room, yet.
Madison decided then she'd never entered that particular room.

Why would she be anything but silent? (maybe she tiptoed?) Also, the two instances of (it) throw off the sentence.
A massive painting commanded her attention and silently she went to it and studied it.

???
...and she [could look stand] to be in the room no more.

A few problems in this paragraph. Who is talking? Madison's mother and the grandmother?

"She is nothing like me[,]" [H]er Mother retorted. [full stop]

"She is nothing like me," her Mother retorted. > Mother is not capitalized because it's not being used as a name here. A full stop is required.

And then it's goodbye.
Aside from the blips, easily fixed, the reading experience was awesome. You really put me inside that house and in Madison's head. Well done! You're off to a grand start with this early entry. *Bigsmile*

~Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
111
111
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cass.

HAPPY 20th WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



Of all the stories to choose from, I selected this one. The title (with a bit of alliteration) appealed to me. I'm also an avid reader of children's stories. The plots go straight to my heart and squeeze. Yours did not disappoint. *Star*

I do have one or two questions.

Did you begin the story with 'Once upon a time' on purpose? And why the 'he was very sad' sentence? Since this was written in 2003, maybe writers didn't emphasize the downside of weak verbs propped up by adverbs.

Why is (boy) sometimes written (Boy)?

divider for port items

The set-up, with the dog dressed in a wizard cape made the plot sensical. It prepared this reader for a fantasy story. Excellent choice.

My favorite part was the compassion of the Man in the Moon and the spoonful of (Light) given to Wiz. (Was the l in (light) capitalized on purpose?)

Not much hurts a mom more than a child crying. Especially at night. I can't decide which created the most impact. Wiz and the Moon, or the boy crying in his sleep. My grandson, years ago, always fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Your story left me feeling uplifted and cheered. The cleverness of the plot stood out as unique. I could picture the entire scenario in my head. Other than my few queries, a great write. *Bigsmile*


Nixie
Personal image

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
112
112
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Ric. Nixie here with an anniversary review for you.

HAPPY 8th WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*



You have a solid plot here that needs some attention. From the beginning, I had no doubt as to what Roger was up to. Or rather, working himself up to taking on a task.

I liked the dialogue shared between Roger and Peter. Peter's the kind of friend everyone needs. He's caring, but also not afraid to give Roger a push. Sometimes, that's all a person needs. A good friend.

So, the problem lies in POV shifts, verb tenses, and switching from showing to telling, all the way to authorial intrusion. For example, in the last few paragraphs, we're being told how Roger feels.

In the beginning of the conclusion, he likes how the tux looks, but then later claims
He didn’t feel like himself in that outfit.

My question is, why didn't he feel like himself? Inner dialogue could lend a hand here. There's always the old cliche, although I don't recommend using it.

I look like a penguin.

Maybe it sounds trivial, but increasing font size and paragraph spacing makes a story much easier to read. Instead of the dialogue all bunched up, spacing it out would create a more dramatic effect. Rather than the words on top of each other, a breathing space gives the reader a better chance to digest the innuendos.

Here's the deal. Anniversary reviews are celebrations. I don't like picking the stories apart. So I mentioned a few things, when this really needs an overhaul. Since it's never been edited, I'm guessing you had a story come to mind, you quickly wrote it and never looked back. I totally understand that. Sometimes a story fits the bill, and that is that. Then again, there's always something to learn. Okay, I'm done now. *Laugh*

Happy Anniversary month all month long. *Cake*

Kicking down the walls of normalcy

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
113
113
Review of Illegal Alien  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Genipher. Nixie here with an anniversary review for you!

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Vine1* Initial reaction
White space is so appealing, I know from the first glance this would be an enjoyable read. Increased font size and spacing? *Star*

*Vine2* Overall Impression
It only took the first two lines to snag me. She/he claims tuna, the alien says Trandff Juice. *Laugh* I really enjoyed how this scene played out. The details are revealed in small bits, where one can't be sure what's coming next. Each line made me laugh even harder. Tentacles vs. fleshy appendages? That's how my arms look now.

As the humour carries on, a dark note enters. Seems this planet has handled many aliens crashing. And they have so many requirements and restrictions. I especially liked the specific details > Purple Card. And then it flips back to ridiculous by mentioning the ray gun. Honestly, my face hurts from smiling.

*Vine1* That's a wrap
Even though the story was mostly comedy and curiousity, the last few sentences were chilling. Seems as if all the unexpected bantering led to this pivotal moment. The characters aren't named, but I sure feel sorry for your protagonist.

Overall ~ Excellent and enjoying write!



image for when I feel dark

Nixie Overwatch Guardian
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
114
114
Review of Long Shadows  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Lightspeed. Nixie here, celebrating you with a review. *Smile*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
"Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Baretree3*
The Hook
The title is an absolute attention grabber. I'm not sure how I feel about the brief description. Maybe it gave away too much. The message was conveyed in the beginning, rather than allowing me to make the discovery as I read.

*Baretree3*
A closer look
This was a first for me. I've never read anything without quotation marks, which set me back a bit. But as I continued reading, my brain adjusted and I was able to follow the flow. However, I tripped over the dialogue leading to the conclusion. And I'd rather not see the three exclamation points. Since this isn't a 'showing story', I understand the need. Still, three seemed excessive. I also feel the same way about (RIGHT NOW) being presented in full caps. Perhaps italics?

*Baretree3*
Zeroing in
Even though I knew what was coming, the clues were unveiled in a compelling way. The paragraph about what happened, as heard through the husband was a little confusing.

I'd like to chat a bit about the repetitive words. 'Long shadows' was used several times. Now, maybe this was intentional, but I did wonder if finding another expression would create more diversity and possibly enhance the feelings evoked.

In the paragraph beginning with "I thought for a long time" > (getting) is used twice. Some rewording is called for.

*Baretree3*
A closed book= a lasting impression
I was impressed with the last few comments, i.e. the word choices showing the mood. I've had similar telephone conversations, where even as the words are exchanged, the sense of 'the end' darkly loomed.

You closed with one of my favorite expressions. The beginning of the end. I really liked how you employed the word 'herald'. That strong word nailed down the coffin lid sealing the sadness of the relationship ending.

So, while there were times when I was confused, this was a fun story to read and ponder over. I like uniqueness. *Star*


Love this image from Brooke! Personal signature

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Overwatch Guardian



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
115
115
Review of AWAKENING  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Congratulations on your WdC Anniversary.

Hi Maria. Nixie here to celebrate your 15th WdC Anniversary.


Title and brief description
The title had me wondering what exactly was awakening, and when I read the brief description, I was all in. The cover art was perfect. Nature-themed items are one of my favorites to both read and write.

Overall Impression
Excellent job engaging a sensory experience. I could easily visualize the scene in my head, and wish I were seeing it with my own eyes. I liked the first stanza, because imagining a 'granny' rocking on the porch evoked the gentleness that followed. Honestly, I felt more calm after reading this.

Of all the beautiful stanzas and carefully chosen words, 'sunflowers gaze upward' affected me the most. No idea why, but the thought of Southern Belles, as in Scarlet O'Hara types came to mind.

Question
I found the punctuation extremely confusing. It was inconsistent and jarring. To each his own, though.

I was wondering how a cottage could 'set'. > One alternate option (A cottage nestled in a pristine meadow) Just a thought.

In the end
I rated this a 4 due to the questions above.

I cannot thank you enough for using a larger font and perfect spacing. I've had to pass on many reviews, due to squinting. *Bigsmile*

I'm closing my eyes now, dreaming of the scene so delicately painted. *Tulipr* Thanks for sharing your gift.



~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
116
116
Review of My Brain  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hi Misty. Nixie here. I found your item via random review. Welcome to WdC!


*Vine1* Initial reaction
You write with such passion the words are crammed together, creating a block of text that is a challenge to read. Not to worry. There's a quick fix! Simply use a larger font, I'm suggesting {size:3.5} or larger.

Proper paragraphing is required to separate your thoughts. This reads like a stream of consciousness, and I'm betting that it is.

Please remember to use proper grammar and punctuation. *Wink*

(i) should be (I}
contractions: one example: (dont) should be (don't)

I noticed a misspell in the title. (certant) should be (certain)

*Vine2*Thoughts from the edge
Because this is a personal piece, perhaps the inclusion of (hah-hahs) (Omg) and (lols) might be overlooked. For me, it demonstrates an unprofessional approach. You have a lot to offer, so why not perfect your writings? I'm guessing you're a young writer, which would explain quite a bit.

*Vine1* Personal Connection
So many people have mental issues. Please know you are not alone in feeling this way.

*Vine1* That's a wrap
I applaud the last line you've concluded with. Keep writing and gather more feedback from other reviewers. That's one way for writers to improve their skills. *Smile*


an image that shows the inner me

Nixie Overwatch Guardian
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
117
117
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi, Fantasy Writer. I found your story using the read and review option.


Overall Impression
Excellent word choices to comply with the 24 syllable rule, this short piece sparked a vivid image in my mind.

Special Moments
Smart and clever use of Brobdingnagian, a word from Gulliver's Travels. "Deep Abyss" and "Marine Life" alerted me to the 'setting' as it were. I questioned the double use of the word Leviathan. Once would suffice. *Wink*

If I had to choose, I would not place Leviathan at the top, especially since it's part of the title. A small detail, perhaps, but one that gave me pause. Because there are only three stanzas, the double wording created an unwanted weight to the overall impression. As in, not to make a pun, it drowned out the simplicity.

Closing comments
I took a quick peek at your portfolio. It seems you're the master of this poetic form, which leaves me to believe you have a deep passion running within you for this type of challenge. Well done.

~Nixie

New identity for SPR

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
118
118
Review of Damage  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with I Write  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Jeff. It's my pleasure to review your short story for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" 

Overall Impression
I listened to the song after I read the story and heard where the inspiration came from. But I didn't need the song to 'hear' the relationship story you penned. The realistic details of the setting added to the authentic air of the meeting-up.

As the plot unfolds
I swear you wrote this as if I was watching the scene for myself, maybe perched on another barstool. Both characters were vivid in my head. Since the conversation felt cool, any thoughts of romance died in my head. There's a few things that make couples unsuitable. And having children is close to number one. That issue left no doubt in my mind. So even though it was a conflict sandwiched in between the setting and Jimmy's character, the difference in lifestyle choices spelled the inevitable doom. Truth be told, I'd have been upset if they reignited their past attraction.

Oops. Almost forgot to mention one of my favorite passages. And that was the teleporting part. Nicely done.

Thoughts to think
At times, it seemed as if the POV shifted. I'm wavering on that part. A few paragraphs felt as if they came from Jasmine's mind, or maybe the author's, not Jimmy's. And that's the only reason I docked the half star.

Last impression
I managed to stifle my 'aww' after I finished reading, but, honestly, that was my first reaction. A bitter-sweet and authentic story, expertly penned.

~Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
119
119
Review of The Jester  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Celebrating you with an Anniversary Review.

Hi Jim! HAPPY WDC 12th ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY


What an emotional journey you created. I instantly (without being aware of who the jester was) related to the character. I felt as if the jester could be anyone. Without someone to witness our lives, loneliness prevades. Most times, I feel alone. That's the price I pay because I'm lousy at choosing partners.

In the fourth stanza, the word 'aura' appeared, and it was time to adjust my viewpoint. This man was no jester. He was an extraordinary person.

The mood shifted to sadness, creating a puzzle. What was happening here? Even though the theme continued with loneliness, or uncertainty, not one stanza was repetitive.

The last few stanzas hit me like a lightning bolt. The rhymes took on a new meaning, one I never would have guessed. I haven't read any of the other poems in this folder, so my viewpoint is limited. However, I wondered if the first part was metaphoric because the setting presented didn't match up with the true setting revealed in the end.

I'll be thinking this over for the rest of the day. What a brilliant poem to ponder.



~Nixie
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
120
120
Review of Complex Numbers  
for entry "High-cal Local" 
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Robert. I'm reviewing this item for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" 

Overall Impression
When time allows, I dip into your notebook posts. You're clever, witty, and smart. Sometimes smart aleck-y. Your particular style is also evident in this entry.

Your wit had me laughing in quite a few places. Particularly, the Waffle House and Taco Hell with Desperation Alley in between. And one would have to be desperate to eat at either of those two places.

I've also witnessed closings of restaurants. Sadly, many were unique establishments offering Vegan meals. My hope is that someday Orlando will become 'classy' and 'savvy' enough to provide more progressive eateries. (Orlando is not my home town. Thank goodness.) I would prosper in NYC. And the thought of D.C. being so close to your town is eating me alive.

Bagels. It's true. There's no better bagels than the ones made in New York. The same is to be said about pizza.

BTW: Your writing is always eloquent and mistake free. Even when you're goofing around.

Sorry, couldn't resist highlighting this simile.
...restaurants, as they flicker open and closed like lighthouse shutters doing Morse Code.

~Nixie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of In Memoriam  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi there. I'm reviewing this item for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" 

As I read with puzzlement, the entire tribute felt distanced. When I reached the end and learned this wasn't written by you, some of the confusion cleared. The question remains. How to review this?

So I'm poking around in the dark here. Did you have a personal connection with Rev Col Bayani P Mendoza? Maybe you can include a note at the bottom informing the reader as to why the tribute was posted here.

This was a stirring and informative tribute. Overall, it's evident the man left a profound impact after death. The details included most certainly painted the definition of a hero. I wonder if all he accomplished was some sort of destiny, since his very name means 'hero'.

The formatting is excellent, although not many still use the indent for each paragraph. I suspect it's a personal choice. My only suggestion would be to use a larger font for an easier read.

Interestingly enough, I googled his name, and your article was the first that popped up in the search. Does that make you famous?

I apologize for skipping over your entry in the forum. The bitem link in the subject line confused me. My brain focused on 'join'. *Headbang*

I hope my review is enough of a tribute for this tribute. I read it first thing in the morning. What a unique way to begin my day.

~Nixie

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of My introduction  
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Alex. Nixie here. I found your item among the Newbie list. Welcome!

Although a short introduction, you've given us all a chance to visit with you. WdC is famous for making people feel at home. Mostly, we're kind and considerate, always willing to help. I've made some friends here, and it's my primary reason for belonging. And, of course, I can never abandon "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" .

If you're interested, reviewing not only helps us improve, it can foster friendships. Reach out, maybe start a blog and post your entries on the Newsfeed. Or, post your writings there using the entry or bitem format. Ask questions. That way, readers will learn more about you. *Wink* Use the Newsfeed and various forums to connect with others. Have you visited this forum? "Noticing Newbies" ?

Check out the various groups here. Before long, you'll be feeling right at home. We love our newbies. What type of stories/poems do you like writing?

At the top of every page, you'll see "Writing.Com 101"  I like to ask questions, but 101 is the premium information center. Keep on writing!

Me with another persona. Am I a spy?

Overwatch Guardian
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of It Begins  
Review by Nixie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sue. I'm reviewing this item for "I Write: Enter the Second Decade" 

Overall Impression
Oh, my goodness. I can relate to this so well. I write stories in my head all the time. Unfortunately, all I have is the beginning, no middle or conclusion. I think if I write what's churning in my mind, chances are inspiration will help me move forward. Nope.

As the poem unfolds
The theme begins to change, and the meaning phases to thoughts of fame. Absolutely adorable, (no condescension meant). The verses flowed smoothly, and the rhyming scheme was clever. I liked the words you chose, they were more than ordinary. This couldn't have been an easy feat.

Kudos for precise punctuation.

*Heart* The first stanza, last line, was my favorite. The image of thoughts caught in a web stood out and created both a mental image and a real life experience. Webs have spiders. Yikes. And I liked the progression of thoughts slipping away. This was expressed in the next stanza by employing the word 'borderline'. Nicely done.

Wrapping it up
I'm sure you know how easy it is for the spelling of your user name to be confused with another. Much appreciation for adding your name at the ending. I doubt it was meant for that purpose, but it reminded me of who is whom. Jody vs. Sue. *Laugh*

Writing poetry is not one of my strengths, but your creation showed me that thoughts can also be expressed outside of a short story and be just as effective. Thanks for the read!


~Nixie
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
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Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Nixie here to celebrate with you.


HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM
*CakeB* "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeB*


The hook
Hands down, the title and the brief description.

My mistake
I have a habit of reading the end of a story (or poem) before beginning the journey into someone's story world. I was prepared for something simple, I guess. Your poem took me totally by surprise. I read it five times to absorb all the meaning, and every time my heart broke.

I've never read a poem this complicated that flowed line after line. I am no poet, so if this composition follows a specific format, I apologize for not recognizing it. I liked the lack of punctuation throughout. It created continuity.

Quite a shift in POV when the man is introduced. Once the meaning sunk in,though, the intent was crystal.

Oops/suggestions
Somewhere in the lines (who's) should be (whose), but for the life of me, I can't find it again.

Personal connection
Honestly, I can't explain to anyone how much I have in common with Toni, without hurting myself (mentally) further.

Final impression
I wish I knew how much work and time you've put into composing this. It must have been a painful process, or perhaps cathartic. Despite the agony, this is a gorgeous and unique write.


Me with another persona. Am I a spy?

Overwatch Guardian
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
125
125
Review by Nixie
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Pepper Nixie here.

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*Baretree3*
The Hook
The hyphenated name clued me in as to the type of story I would be reading. After that, well, what encouraged me to continue was the professional appearance of the story. It was well-balanced, with a larger font.

And then I read the opening paragraph. A mystery opened in my mind that I was eager to solve. With no idea who Ni-essa was, her fear was palpable, but at this point still obscure.

Right from the beginning, the scene showed a futuristic theme, and a woman on the run. She must have been hiding selling tickets, so still, her identity wasn't verified, and her fear amplified. A total puzzle.

*Baretree3*
A closer look
Excellent foreshadowing having the students observing the silver hand of Galen. It didn't seem important at the time. I thought maybe it was enhancing the setting. Wrong.

Due to word count limitations, there was a lot of reading 'in between the lines'. Which is fine. A reader likes to their natural curiosity stroked now and again.

It took me three reads, not really understanding what had transpired in the second part of the story. It may have helped if [queen] was capitalized. (However, the bounty hunter did call her 'Your Highness'. Also, a description of where she was being held would have aided a smoother transition.

That's where I really got hung up. Maybe if the Queen and King had names.

*Baretree3*
Emotions evoked
Puzzlement, panic, and disgust (at the end).

*Baretree3*
Bumps along the way
"Then, she was falling, helpless to break her fall."
I'd like to see a different word, rather than repeating fall. It's sort of a given. No one can really control a fall.

Whoosh
Picky, yes. But considering the excellence of your writing, that stood out as weird.


*Baretree3*
A closed book=lasting impression
And that's why it took me three reads to capture all the nuances. I see how the foreshadowing was so germane to the story. Otherwise, it would have been a mystery when her brother died in such an odd manner.

No wonder the queen ran. I guess that king will have to keep her around to mother the 'brood' he would create. What an awful man. Holding potential children hostage.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop. Suffice it to say, I really liked your story. Outstanding write!

The last sentence sealed the deal. *Sad*


Love this image from Brooke! Personal signature

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Overwatch Guardian



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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