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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/lani/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/15
by Lani
Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1455359
My musings, my rambles and I welcome you.
Hourglass & quill


*Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* LIVE WITH INTENTION. *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1**Flower1**Flower1*




*Flower6* *Flower6* *Flower6* *Flower6* WALK TO THE EDGE. *Flower6* *Flower6* *Flower6* *Flower6*




*Flower2* *Flower2* *Flower2* CHOOSE WITH NO REGRETS.. *Flower2* *Flower2* *Flower2*



*Flower1**Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* DANCE IN THE LIGHT*Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1*




*Flower6* *Flower6* APPRECIATE MY FAMILY & FRIENDS. *Flower6* *Flower6*

BCOF Insignia





Previous ... 11 12 13 14 -15- 16 17 18 ... Next
December 8, 2008 at 11:20pm
December 8, 2008 at 11:20pm
#623247
December 8th prompt: What is my greatest frustration and how do I handle it?

You mean besides not being able to write the Greatest American Novel in my free time? My greatest frustration is dealing with my Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD. It is the root of my other problems, issues and frustrations. It's why you'll never be invited spontaneously to my home. I have to make sure I hide the stacks of dirty clothes or vacuum dusty bunnies the size of real bunnies. ADD is why I can't stick to a diet or exercise plan. They're boring and there is always something else more interesting to do. Why I am never on time. I'm not rude but WDC sometimes is more interesting than remembering to get ready for appointments

For the record ADD/ADHD is usually the result of neurobiological differences in the parts of the brain associated with attention, impulsive control, and the “executive functions” – higher-order, self-controlling cognitive functions that guide an individual’s thoughts, emotions, and actions.

It would be semi okay if I looked the part, but I do not. I am not Chatty Kathy or Wandering Wilma. I am the quiet space cadet in the back of the class room. I used blurt out wrong answer because I was daydreaming. I got the report cards that said, "Not applying herself to the class." or "Tries hard but needs to pay better attention." Even now in meetings at work, I take notes to help me pay attention. I don't recommend this strategy though, as I have been elected as committee secretary twice.

I was tested and the doctor called it "executive function dysfunction." Even my ADD in not quite normal. Right now am trying different ADD meds to find something that helps.

What I find the most frustrating is that feeling of I am not normal or not good enough. That no matter what I achieve it will never be enough. I will alway be on the outside looking in. What I have realized finally is that almost everyone feels like that - on the outside looking in. If everyone feels that way, then there is no outside. Everyone is together. We are all God's children. I am as He made me and He loves as I am. Feelings don't change that.

P.S. Repeat that 6 x day til its true in my mind
Yes this is me handling it.
December 7, 2008 at 6:35pm
December 7, 2008 at 6:35pm
#623040
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Jack Benny

When I'm 64
by the Beatles


When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a Valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine.

If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door.
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four.

You'll be older too,
And if you say the word,
I could stay with you......




This has been a hard entry for me to write. Its easy to say that with a good attitude anything is possible. That thinking young will keep you young. I think a good attitude is probably 50%. Staying young or at least feeling young also depend on diet, exercise, family and spiritual habits. I would also submit that a little luck and good genes probably don't hurt. Good vibrations and happy thoughts won't keep strokes or heart attacks from happening. A peaceful home life and strong faith decrease stress that tear on the body. Healthy eating habits and exercise protect the body against aging. They also contribute to the good attitude so its a win/win.

Why am I sitting here?











December 6, 2008 at 10:25am
December 6, 2008 at 10:25am
#622752
"Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."
Oliver Wendell Holmes (1809 - 1894)

Thanks OutofSync for the prompt

"But I'm coming back." I sputtered almost in tears. Everyone in the breakroom laughed. My supervisor on the night shift came over to me and hugged me.

"Of course you are.This is just a temporary assignment."

The break room was filled with my fellow nurses who had thrown me a pitch - in ( potluck) dinner. I was being assigned to another floor for 2 months to fill a critical need. The floor I was being assigned 3 South was known to eat up and chew out new nurses. I was one year on the job and low man on the staffing totem pole. I was not asked if I wanted to do this, but told about the reassignent two days ago by my head nurse.

And it felt like a demotion. I worked on one of the best floors in the hospital. That was not just my opinion but the general consensus of other Med-Surg nurses. It in the newest wing of the hospital, all private rooms and fewer patients. Ten vs fifteen or eighteen a shift depending on the wing.

I called my brother to whine. "Twenty patients.(Venting makes me exaggerate) Sometimes no aides. All those all old people. And the staff I hear can be tough."

My brother let me vent for a while. Then he changed my outlook.

"Don't think of it as a demotion. You're just out of school. You're their best and brightest. Go and learn everything you can and bring it back. Actually, its a promotion that they think of you like that."

At the time, I thought he doesn't understand. He's military and they do things differently. Yet the idea took hold and grew in my mind. By the time I reported for duty on 3 South, I had the mind set that I was here to learn. The staff responded in kind. I made friends because my attitude was not "this is the armpit of the hospital."

I had a lot of firsts on 3 South. My first codes, my first patients in DT's and first AMAs or leaving Against Medical Advise. I had more diabetics that I could count. I began to hate the phrase "Uh..Nurse I feel funny." It usually meant the blood sugar was around 40 (normal is 80-100). I learned I liked the older patients better than the younger ones as the whine factor was lower.

The two months actually flew by and I was almost sorry to leave 3 South. I knew my brother's ideas had changed me when I overheard some co-workers talking soon after I returned.

"Lani is different since she came back. More self-confident and she knows everyone in the hospital now."

"Yeah, maybe it won't be so bad when I have to float."


I think Oliver Wendell Holmes would be pleased

December 5, 2008 at 5:41am
December 5, 2008 at 5:41am
#622342
If you think you fail, fail gloriously


This quote sounds like another way of saying, "Put you whole heart into it." Whatever it is. Is this real comfort or cold praise?
I though of one particular Olympic swim race when I saw this quote. Michael Phelps recently appeared on CBS 60 Minutes. He said the difference between him and his Serbian-American opponent, Milorad Čavić, was a small error in judgment. Mr.Čavić checked lane placement by raising his head before he touched the wall. Mr. Phelps did not. The difference was 1/1000 of a second. Mr.Čavić failed gloriously to say the least. Would he take comfort in this adage? I think so, because he wrote in his blog:

"People, this is the greatest moment of my life. If you ask me, it should be accepted and we should move on. I’ve accepted defeat, and there’s nothing wrong with losing to the greatest swimmer there has ever been."

December 4, 2008 at 9:26am
December 4, 2008 at 9:26am
#622141
I grew up reading robot stories. I enjoyed Asimov who was the best with his three laws. I also read lots of old pulp science fiction. I read Star Trek and Star Wars. Yes, I was a nerd before we became geeks and before we became cool. I always wanted to be a robot or a least Mr. Spock. How cool would that be not to have emotions to deal with all the time? Emotions are messy and painful. They will get you in all sorts of trouble. Why not block them out or get rid of them?

The thing that always impressed me about the stories or TV shows was that robots always always wanted human emotion. The thing that made us the most fragile, the most vulnerable, they wanted. It made me proud to be human and irritated at the same time. Commander Data of Star Trek Next Generation fame was continually investigating and puzzled (is that an emotion?) by emotions. He was limited in his understanding and continually made mistakes with his co-workers. In one of the Star Trek movies, the Commander finally got an emotion chip, but during a key scene he was paralyzed by indecision. Captain Picard told him to turn off his chip and instantly he was able to function. Talk about envy. I wanted that chip.

I grew up in an abusive home. There was rage in the home. Everyone felt like they were walking on eggshells all the time. But the culture around me exploded as well. When I was growing up in the '70's everyone seemed angry. The women libbers, the black panthers, the gays, the pro abortionist, the pro lifers, the college students, the police and Nixon were angry all the time. Three big networks were happy to show us in new living color (yes there was TV before cable). Who wouldn't want to be a robot and not feel the hate coming at you from all directions?

Still being a robot cuts you off from the best part of being human: human contact. As I tried to bury my feelings and become Mr Spock or Commander Data. (not a conscious choice, by the way), I found that people didn't respond to me as they did to robots in the stories. I was not cute or fascinating. I was cold and heartless. I was a nerd without emotions. Not an easy thing to achieve for a woman.

No emotions cuts off joy, love, compassion, empathy and all that is good and beautiful. All that is human. Emotions help us realize our need of God. Even angels envy lowly humans. Speaking of salvation, the Apostle Peter says"Even angels long to look at these things."1Peter1:12 . It's hard. It's messy. Sometimes it's not very much fun to be human, but on the balance I'd rather be real. I'd rather love and be loved. I 'd rather be the envy of angels than an angel. Human vs Robots. No contest. Humans rock!
December 3, 2008 at 1:29pm
December 3, 2008 at 1:29pm
#621963
Two entries in one day. I don't know if its the ADD meds or if it is the prompts, but I am writing. I wanted to add this to the courteous post, but I wasn't sure how to weave it into the entry.

I had a friend who used to tell me that I needed to be nicer to my family. I had just broken a promise to my sister in favor of a boyfriend and my friend was irritated with me.

"Why are you so mad, Janet? It's just my sister. She understands," I asked her.

"Maybe she does and maybe she doesn't but that's not the point," she huffed.

"What is the point?" I was clearly not getting her anger.

"The point is boyfriends come and go, but sisters are family," Janet stated after taking a cleansing breath.
"Family loves you, stays with you, picks you up after boyfriends mess you up. Family is forever. Boyfriends are only forever when they are husbands. You need to be nicer to your family, give them the same respect you give strangers. Maybe more. Heck, you would never blow me off like you just did your sister. Would you?"

"Uh,.. no"

I don't remember what I did after that conversation. I think I gave my sister a heart felt apology instead of an excuse. I think I will call her tonight. The boyfriend? Long gone.

How are you treating your family these days?

December 3, 2008 at 10:54am
December 3, 2008 at 10:54am
#621938
My perspective on WDC auctions, raffles and Merit Badges.

I love WDC, but ( and you knew this was coming) it doesn't have a good natured forum where you can go vent or ask for help or make friends. Its too big to have such a place. A place to sit down and have a cup of coffee, bitch or praise about how the world of WDC is treating you without someone chewing your head off. Or if there is, I haven't found it.

There is a "Technical Support Forum,"Non-Technical Support Forum (huh?) and a FAQ sheet about most anything. They are are easy to understand if you are not overwhelmed by the site. Which I was, when I first started here. I joined WDC in July 2007 but did not post until the following March. One reason for the overwhelming feeling was the size of the site. It takes forever to find what you need or an answer. Another reason was figuring out how to post. I kept hearing about bitem. I needed to learn this to post my stories. I don't consider myself technically stupid, but its easier for me to learn a new skill if someone shows me rather than just reading it. I didn't realize that bitem was the language of contests. It was not critical knowledge to just post in my own port. Okay, so maybe the blonde roots were showing a little.

I did look into some of the Newbie adoption programs and mentoring when it became apparent that I needed some help. I joined the site, but I didn't really get active until 8 months later. So it's too late for most of those programs to apply to me. I am just now really finding my way around, making friends or at least acquaintances and favorites.

After I posted my first poems, gifts points (gps) started showing up. "Virtual Tokens" was the explanation. I didn't see the significance of them. They clogged my email like spam. Soon I realized other people enjoyed getting gps and that they could buy things on the site. One of my first acts, after this realization, was to upgrade someone. This had been done for me anonymously so, I returned the favor. I have donated to a raffle and an auction for members that I enjoy reading, but I have not figured out the whole process or how its done. I don't have any good insights.

Merit badges again, are something I'm still not sure how they work. It seems you can earn them in contests but also they can be given by anyone at anytime. It seems arbitrary. Like the star system. That's whole 'nother blog entry or just read Four is the New Three in Scottiegazelle 's port
http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1005075





December 3, 2008 at 12:11am
December 3, 2008 at 12:11am
#621881
http://www.travelandleisure.com/afc/2008/city/charleston

I live in the Low Country of South Carolina: Myrtle Beach, Georgetown, McClellanville, Isle of Palms and of course Charleston. Charleston is consistently rated by Travel and Leisure Magazine as the friendliest city in the nation. The night life is only ranked # 25 but you can't have everything. The Low Country or lowcountry as it is written and spoken, is a beautiful area. There are beaches, golfing, four star hotels and history.When most people think of the South, they think Confederacy, but Charleston has been here a lot longer that. South Carolina was one of the original thirteen colonies.This city was part of the American War of Independence.
Needless to say, Charleston has charm and its citizens also make it appealing. There is a open hearted friendliness here that is not found in other places that I have lived. "Southern Hospitality" seems cliche, but it fits.

http://www.wciv.com/news/stories/1108/572723.html

Just over the the river from Charleston is another city. It's just as old and historic but not as quaint. North Charleston seems to be the ugly stepsister. For several years, its has been ranked number 10 in crime by the FBI. If you read the link, Chief Jon Zumlt says that the numbers are not the whole story. North Charleston is a city of 95,000. According to the chief, the North Charleston is being compared to cities with populations greater than 100,000. This juxtaposition between the cities is interesting. Some of the same people who wait the tables, clean the hotels, and a thousand other jobs in Charleston live in North Charleston. This doesn't make a lot of sense to me. There is nothing magic about crossing a bridge. Does everyone smile on the job and go home and explode? Go home and kick the dog, beat the lover and rob the convenience store? Well, not everyone as the article talks about the neighborhoods that are cleaning up their crime rates.

I'm not sure what this says about how courteous we are, but it is an interesting contrast.
December 1, 2008 at 6:02am
December 1, 2008 at 6:02am
#621476
"Mom! Look at the TV. India was attacked by terrorists. Some place called Mumbai."

"So, those people are always killing each other."

"No, you don't understand. Terrorists like 9/11. It's awful."

"What's awful, is you're going to make me late for those sales.'

"Don't tell me you're going out today? It's crazy after Thanksgiving."

"That's when the best sales are. I want to get your Dad that HD TV he wants"

Announcer from CNN: "There have been an unknown number of American lives lost and involved in this tragedy..."

"See what happens when you don't stay home like you're suppose to."

"Mom, how can you say that? People have been killed. Americans on vacation for pete's sake. It's not their fault."

"Look, if those people hadn't been trotting all over the world, they wouldn't have been targets. Now I'm going to the Wal-Mart in Valley Stream*. I may be there a while in line. Let your Dad know, but not what I'm buying. "



This is a conversation I can imagine happening. When I saw the news, the international stories were full of Mumbai. The American news was full of economic woes. The trampling death of Jdimytai Damour didn't seemed as big a deal as it should have been. Our world view seems pretty small sometimes.






*The Valley Stream Wal-Mart is where a employee was trampled to death by holiday shoppers. The customers became irate when authorities wanted to close the store.
December 1, 2008 at 5:31am
December 1, 2008 at 5:31am
#621475
 Invalid Item  []

by A Guest Visitor



'You are a libertarian, by definition the most and least logical political affiliation. You are well versed with economics, and you believe that America should depend on personal responsibility and civil liberties. When it comes to government, your general sentiment is "Why is it any of their business?" You are also probably preternaturally beautiful and intelligent, because let's face it, libertarians are just plain amazing. However, you routinely waste your votes because you will never have representation in Congress. Well, you can't have everything.

I took this quiz the other day and this is the result. Its funny because its true. I just never thought of myself as a libertarian. It sounds too much like libertine
"1. a person who is morally or sexually unrestrained, esp. a dissolute man; a profligate; rake.
2. a freethinker in religious matters.
3. a person freed from slavery in ancient Rome."

Uh..no not even in my wilder 20's was I a libertine.

But Libertarians, must be free thinkers politically. Its true that I have wasted votes. During the Bush Senior and Clinton campaign, I voted for Ross Perot because the other two seemed like slick hustlers and Perot a breath of fresh air. I did vote for Alan Keys during a primary one time. He is a black conservative Christian Republican. A rare combination of principles in my experience. He needed my vote. I find Ralph Nader entertaining with some good ideas but I haven't thrown any votes his way. He is too much of a long shot even for me.

This year was hard. It seemed like it was Slick and Slicker running against each other. I voted for Mike Huckabee in the Republican Primary. It would be easier if they had the primaries on the same day and could vote across party lines. Of course, the party faithful would have some problems with that, but it would be convenient and save everyone some time and money.

All that to say the quiz was fun and surprised me. Check it out

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