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My musings, my rambles and I welcome you. |
   LIVE WITH INTENTION.  WALK TO THE EDGE.  CHOOSE WITH NO REGRETS.. DANCE IN THE LIGHT APPRECIATE MY FAMILY & FRIENDS.  |
I'm thinking of joining the "Invalid Item"  . It will be for the month of December and that seems a set-up for failure. However, if I never challenge myself what's the point? December means extra work at my job, hubby will be underfoot instead on the road and I have lots of other excuses. Still. I have momentum these days and why not continue it? And the doc is starting me back on my ADD meds so maybe I will get some focus. Or implode Or nothing. It's better to find out that I'm a poser ( is that the right word?) than to just wonder. Ready or not Earl, here I come. |
| The holidays are always hard. It’s not really time for the holiday blahs to set in, but I have them. I've been trying to figure out why. We are now officially out of credit card debt (Yea!!!). We are debt free except for some old medical bills. My hubby has been traveling a lot this year, but he will be home for Christmas. My job had an unprecedented slow-down this summer that is now reversing. The Colts are doing okay and the Giants are awesome. So what's the problem? Why am I sliding in a gray fog that hinders my mood and focus? After the last Colts game, I had my answer. I started to reach for the phone to call my dad and remembered. He died last year on Thanksgiving Day. When I try to write about him, the entry makes it sounds like we were really close. We weren't. Sometimes weeks would go by and I would get in my groove of life and forget to call. So he would call me. "Lani Jean, we haven't heard from you in a while. Just calling to make sure you're still alive," he would tell me. (I hate being called by both names. It must be a parent thing) "I'm okay Daddy,” I’d say. "Just working." Then we would have the same awkward conversation trading; family gossip. Sports would be next. I would ask about whatever season's sport he was watching. Football is my personal favorite but my dad liked all three seasons: football, baseball and basketball. Being a Hoosier, college basketball might have been my dad's favorite. My dad was a private man. It was easier to talk sports than most anything else. I learned to talk sports so that I could have a conversation with my dad. That's not to say that my dad was not friendly. He was very friendly. I alway thought he would have made a great politician because he could charm you with nonsense. Yet you felt like you never knew him. At least I didn't. In my entry"No Longer A Pert Christian" , I was flip about my dad being a traditionalist but not a necessarily believer. But I didn't know for sure what he believed. When I was a new Christian, I tried to talk to him about my faith. He answered me with tales about his childhood and being raised in abusive foster homes of religious people of all faiths. When he married my mom, Daddy said he converted to Catholicism so that we could go to church as a family. I never really got a sense that he had made a commitment to Christ or if he thought that being a good person/good father was enough.I went home last October to say goodbye to my Daddy. He was dying of smoking related illnesses and I had just enough time. I tried to make arrangements in the hotels and motels surrounding my parent’s hometown. I could get everything I wanted at a reasonable price except for the weekend. The prices shot up into the stratosphere. I finally asked the receptionist of the third hotel I called, if there was something special going on in town. "Aren't you coming for the Colts/Patriots game?" Oh. God definitely has a sense of humor and love. He gave us something to talk about even on my dad's death bed. I will admit that I am the wimpiest excuse for a Christian that God has ever called. I didn't ask my dad about his faith. I felt the weight of guilt. The "should haves" and "could haves" are a heavy load. Truthfully, though I don't remember the Holy Spirit leading me. Maybe its wishful thinking but I don't. Fortunately, another family member asked him point blank about his faith. My dad said he had made a commitment to Christ but he didn't feel the need to parade it before everyone. He had enough of that growing up and in his own family. After the funeral, I wondered if my dad's commitment was real. I wondered about when he made his decision and how he lived his life. I wondered about things that were not any of my business but God's. Only God can judge the human heart. It made me miserable. One night I was sitting at my computer and I felt I wasn't alone. I turned and saw a vision. My Daddy was standing with Jesus. They were both smiling. I felt peace for the first time in a long while. He truly is the God of all Comfort. I never have to doubt who is waiting for me on the other side. |
 This is what I've been reading the last few days. And I have to say that it is laugh out loud funny. It’s about a man who sick of the advertising game decides to give it up and tries to down-size himself. You know, how stressful can it be to be the Pizza delivery man, the Ice Cream scoop man, work construction or herd cattle? Well Mr. Prioleau Alexander tells us with funny and insightful stories. Be warned. The author of the book is "a former Marine officer, conservative-libertarian, religious gun nut wacko with anarchist leaning.” This is quoting the book jacket. His wife and 3 dogs are okay with it and so am I because some of those leanings are mine. And because he tells an entertaining story. I especially appreciate the ER stories. Alexander went through orientation to be an ER tech in a major downtown hospital. He had a friend who is a doctor in this ER. This friend lets Alexander shadow him until he "runs screaming for the door." Alexander writes about the drug seeker, the weak & dizzy ('they have a pesky habit of dying if you're not careful"), and the Dog Maul guy ("I 'm a landscaper Doc. Can I go back to work tomorrow?"). The Better Checker. Someone who does something to themselves, and decide that they had better get it checked out. No pain. No Problem but they want to be checked out and complimented on their decision to come in. Now I've been guilty of this a time or two. As a nurse I can think of worse case scenarios so it’s hard for me to make a decision sometimes. Better safe than sorry. However the one time, I didn't do this, I was wrong. Of course. I fell and twisted my wrist. No problem. I had leftover pain pills from a past surgery. Take them and baby it with some ice. No ER visit for me, thank you. Three days later, out of pain pills and guess who has a broken wrist? What finally made Alexander run screaming for the door, is a story you have to read to believe, but I think most nurses, techs and docs will chuckle. Things I learned reading this book: 1. Its harder than you think to be hired by the big box stores; Wal-Mart, K-Mart etc. That my retirement dream of being a Wal-Mart greeter may not be the best idea. 2. Always tip the Pizza guy at least $5.00 and make sure he can see the house numbers. 3. ERs are for emergencies. Get reassurance from hubby or dog. But recognize a real emergency. (I thought I knew this, but it’s good to be reminded) 4. Never change my order once it’s given to the burger flipper. Parting the Red Sea is easier. 5. Stay out of Ice Cream shops. At least at my present weight. "Judgment is mine," saith the soda jerk. 6. When my sister said she needed to stay at the job site of the house that they were building to watch the crew, she wasn't kidding. 7. I'd rather not get close enough to cows to have rope or herd them. The romance of the west is now gone. For a long time, my dream, when my job gets overwhelming, is to open a little bookstore with a coffee shop. Sort of a combo Starbucks and Barn & Noble but on a smaller scale. After reading this book, maybe I'll change that dream. Sandy beaches, drinks with little umbrellas and cabana boys with tanned skin sound good. And no customers or patients just surf and sand...... |
| If you read my blog, you know I have a love/hate relationship with grammar and spelling. I'm not good at details that bore me. It’s funny, I am somewhat educated, but years of medical charting, with its own language, have taken a toll. On another writing board that I visit, the subject of grammar came up in our posts. The OP was appalled at the bad grammar that we used in our posts and answering crits. Practice makes perfect was her premise. The OP is a published author so her words carried some weight. Some of us felt that except for stories, posts were conversation and didn't need the scrutiny of a story. Now I'm not so sure. Maybe she's right. I don't even see most of the errors until I get a review or crit. I have tried to edit most of the cringe worthy errors in the blog, but again I don't always see them. And my blog tends to be pure stream of consciousness. I would hate to lose that feeling of freedom. What brought this up was reading diamond_hoop blog entry entry last night. I linked his blog to mine. I need all the help I can get. His thought was that blogs are online diaries and have different rules. He's right of course. If I am trying to develope a writing style, practice so to speak, wouldn't it be useful to practice grammar? What is the happy medium? Practice, practice, and practice I guess. The only way to get anywhere, including published. After all, that’s the goal isn’t it? At this point, maybe just a few readers. Side notes: This is the most commas I’ve used in a while. I hope I did it correctly. Word says this entry is ready. So does Spell-check. We’ll see. |
| Everyone is talking about how the country now needs to heal after this bitter election season. Someone has actually suggested some steps we can all take to start the process. Michael S Hyatt is the CEO & president of Thomas Nelson Publishers. On his blog, he outlined four commitments to the new President to begin. Here they are: 1. I will pray for him and our country. 2. I will assume his motives are good, giving him the benefit of the doubt. 3. I will not speak ill of him, even if I don't always agree with him. 4. I will cast off the spirit of cynicism, and be a positive force for good. They are all good but the one that I like is number four: "I will cast off the spirit of cynicism and be a positive force for good." I want to do that. My pastor actually sent an email about these steps with the blog address. He wants the church to "join him in these commitments." I'm going to try. Some of the attitudes at work have been almost funeral-like at times. I think throwing off the spirit of cynicism will help make me feel better. http://www.michaelhyatt.com/fromwhereisit/2008/11/my-four-commitm.html#more) |
| One prayer was answered. I prayed whoever was elected would have a clear majority and he was.There will be none that "They stole the election from us" nonsense. Now its time for purple. Red and Blue to come together. And wine. Time to toast the winners, console the losers and work for a better country. And pray. Mr Obama has some serious issues confronting him. He is going to need all the help he can get. I may not trust the man yet but I respect the office and I love our country. Lets hope for the best, be watchful and pray. |
| One of my favorite cartoons has ended: Opus. Berkely Breathed (BB) has been preparing us, the audience, for the end for a while but still it seemed like a blow to the gut. I'm glad the character "chose well" where he wanted to be remembered. You can see him sleeping in a Good Night Moon book that Steve Dallas is holding. http://www.comics.com/opus/ http://www.hsus.org/forms/the_opus_contest.html BB says (on his website) that Opus is not dead but napping and he will be appearing in his (BB's) children's books. I dunno. It must sound like heaven to the bemused befuddled lovable penguin. So I guess this is my remembrance of him. I suppose one of the reason's for this entry is that with Opus gone so is apart of my young adulthood. I grew up and politically aware about the same time Bloom County (BB's first strip) and Opus made their appearance. I followed their antics. I remember the first strip about MTV. Wow that's dating me. Opus learning to talk by talking to a Hare Krishna or Hairy Fishnuts as he called them. Just as Apple computer exploded onto the scene there the one with what's-his-name the African-American nerd being chased in a dream by a slide ruler as he clutched his computer. And the Bill the Cat for President campaign and Opus for VP. I love the strip, where after a hard day on the campaign trail, he snoozes and then snorts because he smells baby pee on his tie. I forget which election they were mocking Reagan/Bush or Bush/Quayle maybe. I remember the strips of John the wheelchair vet playing Star Trek with Milo, Binkly and the gang. And Opus bringing up the rear. It was good to see that they made an appearance in the 2nd to last strip. Riding across the meadow, waving good bye to us. That's actually where I thought BB was going to send Opus. On a long dandelion/meadow break. I understand why BB ended the strip. He felt that increasing nasty political climate was beginning affecting his character. He sees himself as cross between Charles Schulz and Micheal Moore. I always saw him as the softer side of Doonesbury. Liberal but not head pounding, in your face offensive. So Opus took his final bow before his creator's bitterness could infect the character and the strip. This article has the complete interview with BB and his reasons. http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2008/10/18/opus/ And some cynics think that this is just a break for our hero bird. That after a suitable rest, BB will bring him back to the comic pages. I dunno. Maybe. I hope not. If BB is getting as bitter and angry as he says he is, lets let Opus nap. Just a side note. The last couple of weeks of strips has been about how you are remembered. How you spend your last days. Remember what happened to Elvis. So Steve Dallas will be remembered as running around in a shower cap and towel, dropping it for a laugh and guiding us to the end. That look of compassion. Weird for a lawyer. |
| I saw a cartoon today that sums up my feelings about this election. Pastor to employee " So Cassie, would Jesus vote for the godless, liberal, anti-marriage, baby-killer or the intolerant, war-mongering, pro-torture, planet despoiler? I am worn out with whole election process. I don't know what to pray, what to think, what to hope. I do know that I am praying that there are no hanging chads, that whoever wins is a clear winner and that by Wednesday it is done. Not just for my sanity but for the sanity and unity of our country. Here's a toast and prayer for purple. Purple is the mix of red and blue. Hopefully the color of unity. And wine. We all may need some. Let the games begin |
| http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/huntleybrown.asp He says it better than I can especially since I'm not a black man (or African-American). What is the P.C. these day? |
| "The trouble with you is your chooser is broken,' said my friend as he sat there drinking coffee. "What?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had poured out my heart to him, confessing the messes I had made with it. "Seriously. You have all this knowledge, maturity, wisdom and still your life is a mess. Why? 'cause you make stupid choices especially for someone who should know better. " I started to sputter, "I have ADD, a bad thyroid, depression, alphabet soup. What do want from me?" "Look, are you really going to drink all of that soda with its 500 calories with your 'low metabolism?' And how long have we been sitting here? An hour and half? You could've done your laundry. Bible study tonight? Did you finish or did you watch the football game?" "Ok, OK, I get your point." "I'm just saying that its not necessarily the disease of the week's fault." "And I pay you for this advice?" I say to my friend and therapist. "Well, you could always blog."
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